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Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! https://forums.court-records.net/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=21506 |
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Author: | Builderkid107 [ Mon Sep 09, 2013 8:16 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Pessimistic_Fool wrote: If nobody else wants to, I would. But I'm still working on my own spork (it should be done soon), so it would have to wait a bit if we were to do it. Which fic are you planning to spork? Well, thats the thing, we'd have to figure one out first. Skype would probably help with that |
Author: | Rubia Ryu the Royal [ Mon Sep 09, 2013 9:01 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Speaking of new fics, has anyone tried this one? Oh dear. I can't bring myself to go behind the first few paragraphs... because ROFL. |
Author: | Pessimistic_Fool [ Mon Sep 09, 2013 9:59 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
@rubia: That's also still fresh, so it wasn't done yet. But it only has two chapters so far, so it's probably not finished yet. @builderkid: If nobody else takes your offer, I'll write you a pm once my spork is done. I'm sure we can find a nice fic to co-spork. |
Author: | Rubia Ryu the Royal [ Mon Sep 09, 2013 11:17 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
builderkid107 wrote: Pessimistic_Fool wrote: If nobody else wants to, I would. But I'm still working on my own spork (it should be done soon), so it would have to wait a bit if we were to do it. Which fic are you planning to spork? Well, thats the thing, we'd have to figure one out first. Skype would probably help with that I'm not a regular when it comes to fanfiction, but I'd gladly join a sporking any time. If you need me for anything, send me a pm. Finding a bad fic to spork is simple enough. Just one look at the description of those stories on Fanfiction.net is enough. |
Author: | Thane [ Tue Sep 10, 2013 8:11 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
I think I'll try sporking something significantly shorter and slightly more coherent - I mean, did anyone understand anything of that...weird horse unicorn trial? I still don't understand who that bloody 'guard' was, or why he was allowed to have a say in judicial matters. Anyway, I'll give 'Nightmare' a shot, which was kindly recommended by Rubia Silve Ryu. Rating: It's sort of difficult to rate due to the nature of the fic. It's meant to be about different characters' nightmares, and one would assume that could include OOC, but the awkward grammar (and 'pacing', I guess it could be called) is enough to warrant two Sawhits. Let's meet our sporkers! Phoenix Wright When my college teachers said I'd be going places, I doubt this was what they had in mind... Franziska Von Karma When I find you I'll make you wish you'd never been born! And to nobody's surprise... Miles Edgeworth What is it that you people want? Is it money? Just name your price! We once again find ourselves in the infamous Sporking Theater, where two of our heroes are waiting for the last victim to join them in this twisted little game. Phoenix: So...we only faced off in two trials, right? Franziska: You do not have to make small talk, Phoenix Wright! Phoenix: Just trying to lighten up the mood 's all... Franziska: The fact that you cannot remember the number of times I have nearly crushed you in court is an insult to the Von Karma name and a testament to your foolishness! Phoenix: So much for 'operation lighten the mood'... All of a sudden the doors open, and a very displeased-looking Edgeworth is being escorted in by the guards, who then promptly leave, locking the doors behind them. Phoenix: Well I can't say I'm surprised... Edgeworth: *Sigh* Me neither, it's a wonder they even let me leave at all. At least they had the decency to tell me that it's a short one this time, although they didn't let me look at the script. Franziska: They're no doubt expecting us to be surprised by the content, then. Edgeworth: Indeed, that's what I was thinking too, but I don't think their plan is going to work. I have a feeling we've pretty much grown immune to being shocked. Phoenix: Well I don't know about that I mean... *Wuh-PSSH!* Phoenix: Gah! Franziska: Don't you jinx this, Phoenix Wright! Phoenix: (I never thought I'd live to see the day Franziska started believing in superstition...) Edgeworth: Let's just get this over with... Speakers: Your wish is our command! Franziska: Then I wish you'd let us go and then turn yourselves in! Speakers: ... The lights are turned off as the movie starts playing. *Wuh-PSSH!* Franziska: I SAID I WISH YOU WOULD LET US GO! Edgeworth: Franziska, they were just baiting you. Honestly you should have... *Wuh-PSSH!* Edgeworth: NGHOOOOOOH! Franziska: Don't you talk down to me right now, Miles Edgeworth! Quote: Nightmare Edgeworth: What an oddly appropriate title, though I can't help but fear what it might imply. Phoenix: The description says 'A story about every character's worst dreams'...Let me guess, I'll go first. Franziska: What an uncharacteristically egotistical remark, Phoenix Wright. Phoenix: Egotistical? I'm the main character of... Speakers: The management would like to remind the sporkers that breaking the fourth wall is strictly prohibited! Phoenix:...I'm the main character of the courtroom? *Wuh-PSSH!* Phoenix: Gah! Franziska: How did I ever lose to a foolish fool like you in this foolishly foolish country?! Quote: Phoenix Wright had just finished a trial. Afterwords, he had some paperwork to finish up, so while the Fey cousins headed back to the apartment, he went to the office. One hour of typing, writing, signing, and filing later, he closed up the office, locked the door, and started towards his home. Franziska: Afterwards! *Whips screen* Edgeworth: Wright, do you only spend one hour doing paperwork every day? Phoenix: Noooo, of course not! (I do it in like 15 minutes...heaven forbid Maya actually does what I pay her to do...) Franziska: What do they mean by 'started towards his home'?! Phoenix Wright doesn't own a car! Edgeworth: I think he missed the keyword 'walking'. Phoenix: Or maybe I just started flying? Who knows, I did that in another fic, after all... Quote: It was a long walk, but he had somehow forgotten his wallet, so he couldn't take a taxi. About halfway through his journey, he realized he was across the street from the Prosecutor's Office. Figuring he may as well pay Edgeworth, Franziska, and possibly Gumshoe a visit, he crossed the street and entered the building. Edgeworth: I appreciate the thought, Wright, but some of us are probably still busy doing paperwork. Phoenix: And didn't I just finish a trial of unknown outcome and importance? I probably just met you in court! Edgeworth: Wright, there are many other prosecutors working in this district. Phoenix: Could have fooled me... Quote: Ignoring the weird stares, he casually made his way to the elevator, pressing the button for the twelfth floor. The door opened with a ding, and he exited the elevator and walked down the long hallway. Franziska's office was first, so he ducked his head inside there. Phoenix: Why am I walking casually while everyone is giving me weird looks? Do I have something on my face? Is something wrong with my hair? Edgeworth: I don't think you want people to answer that last question. Franziska: What do they mean 'ducked his head inside there'?! Is my office somehow underground?! Phoenix: And why would I just suddenly feel the urge to visit Franziska? I mean she...*Wuh-PSSH!* Gah! Franziska: I happen to be perfectly charming when I need to, Phoenix Wright! Quote: Phoenix was immediately met with a cold stare, and he smiled sheepishly. "Hey, Franziska... I was just walking back to my apartment, so I figured I'd stop with for a visit..." "You foolish fool! How dare you foolishly disturb me with your tomfoolery!" Edgeworth: Well at least you're both in character. Franziska: That sounds nothing like me! *Silence* *Screen whip* Franziska: Continue! Quote: A crack was heard, and Phoenix thumped to the ground. The pain was sheer agony! Franziska had never been able to hit that hard. A memory suddenly assaulted Phoenix's brain, and he remembered the death-whip he had given her money to buy. Bracing himself for the taser that was certain to electrify him, he shut his eyes and waited for the inevitable. After about a minute of this, with no electricity running through his body, Phoenix thought he smelled something odd. Phoenix: 'The pain was sheer agony'? 'A memory assaulted Phoenix's brain'? I think fic!me is a tad too dramatic... *Screen whip* Franziska: Why did Phoenix Wright give me money to buy a 'death-whip'?! There's nothing wrong with this one and I certainly don't need any donations to buy new fool-punishing equipment! Phoenix: Not that I'd ever give money to such a cause... Edgeworth: So is it a 'death-whip' or a taser? It seems like the author couldn't make up his mind. Also, why would Franziska suddenly tase him for saying hi? Phoenix: Don't tase me b... Edgeworth. No. Quote: Getting out of his fetal position, he was immediately met with something he had never seen before, and certainly never expected to. Franziska was breathing fire! The room was filled with smoke, the bookshelf was on fire, sparks were flying, and there was Franziska, right in the middle of it, with flames coming out of her mouth! All:... Edgeworth: You really don't like it when people interrupt you, do you? Franziska: *Sleeve grab* This is a dream within a highly confusing piece of fanfiction. That imposter is not me. Phoenix: I'd like to point out that I have in fact expected someone to start breathing fire in my general direction one of these days. It's one of the few things prosecutors HAVEN'T tried yet. Quote: Phoenix scrambled to exit the room without being fried, and just escaped a searing attack of flames. He ran to Edgeworth to warn him the dangers, and furiously knocked on the door. A voice inside spoke, clearing saying, "Come in." If Phoenix had been in a sound state of mind, he might have noticed that the voice sounded seductive. All:... Franziska: Miles Edgeworth, is there something you want to tell me? Edgeworth: *Trying to keep his composure* A-As you said earlier, Franziska, this is a nightmare in a piece of fanfiction. That man seductive man is not me. Phoenix: At least my heart is in the right place... Franziska: By the sound of things there'll soon be plenty of other things in the 'right place'. Phoenix & Edgeworth: *Looking at Franziska in total disbelief* Franziska: *Whipping the ground* So now I'm not allowed to make a joke? I'll have you know my sense of humor is flawless! Quote: Opening the door, Phoenix was met with something else he never expected to see. Edgeworth was lying on the couch, not wearing his usual work clothes. But that's not where the strangeness stopped. Edgeworth was in his underwear! On closer inspection, he was wearing light pink boxers that appeared to be made of silk. Not only that, but a light pink rose was in his mouth. The lights randomly went out, and were replaced with a magenta light illuminating the dark room. "I've been expecting you, Phoenix.", he purred. Scared out of his mind, he started backing out of the room, only for the door to be missing. Edgeworth: O-Objection! I would never do something like that, I would never wear something so distasteful and I would still be doing paperwork, unlike some people! Phoenix: But, Edgeworth, you wear pink all the time... Edgeworth: Wright, if we weren't trapped in this miserable little... Phoenix: He-hey take it easy! I was just messing around! Besides, I know you'd never call me by my first name! Edgeworth: THAT'S what you find wrong with this sentence?! Quote: "Uhhh... Edgeworth, what are you doing...?", Phoenix asked cautiously. "Sshhh, don't talk." Edgeworth responded while pinning against the wall. Frantic, Phoenix did the only thing he could. He escaped. By jumping out of the window. Phoenix: Conveniently forgetting to tell a half-naked Edgeworth about the fire-breathing Franziska...And wasn't I just on the 12:th floor? Quote: Bracing himself for when he hit the sidewalk, Phoenix was met with yet another surprise. Instead of hard concrete, he fell into a lake of coffee. Boiling coffee. Screaming, he attempted to swim out of the lake. Seeing something in the distance, he swam towards it. When reaching it, the mysterious object turned out be a boat. And inside the boat was none other than the coffee-loving Prosecutor, Godot. Phoenix: Wait, are you telling me I jumped from the 12:th floor thinking I'd hit solid concrete? I'd take my chances with Flirtworth and Dragonizka any day! Franziska: Would you care to repeat our names one more time? Phoenix: Heeh...no? *Wuh-PSSH* Phoenix: Gah! Edgeworth: I'm genuinely impressed you managed to swim anywhere considering you were being boiled in hot coffee, Wright. Phoenix: Well I only got a cold from jumping into Eagle River... Edgeworth:...Touché. Quote: Phoenix hoisted himself inside the small rowboat. "Godot, please, you have to help me. Can you row me to the edge of this coffee-lake?" Godot leaned over the edge and took a swig of the lake. "Hmmmm, this is missing something. Ah! It's the 147th distinct taste of bitterness... Oh, did you say something, Trite?" "Can you please take me to the edge of this lake?" "Sure thing, Trite." Phoenix: Did...did Mr. Armando just ignore me being boiled like a lobster in the middle of a coffee lake? Edgeworth: Wouldn't I have noticed him creating an ever-boiling lake of coffee right outside my office? Franziska: This. Doesn't. Make. Sense! Who actually writes this?! *Whipping frenzy* Quote: This was the first bit of normality Phoenix had since entering the Prosecutor's office. Well, it was about as normal as you can get while riding in a boat over a lake made of boiling, bitter coffee. After a few minutes, Godot pulled up to the sidewalk. "See you round, Trite." "Um, yeah, thanks Godot.", Phoenix said as he climbed out of the boat. He waved as he saw Godot jump out the boat, do a triple-front-flip, and land in the coffee with his mouth wide open. Phoenix: Ho-How is that normal!? At least Edgeworth hitting on me is physically plausible! Edgeworth: Thin ice, Wright, very thin ice. Franziska: As much as it hurts to admit it, he's right, little brother. Between being attacked by a fire-breathing me, an ever-boiling lake of coffee and someone hitting on you, which alternative is the more believable? Edgeworth: *Mutters something in defeat* Quote: 'Thank God I'm back at my apartment", Phoenix thought with some happiness. When he arrived at his door, he twisted the handle and opened it. Franziska: Wait, did the boat ride lead right into your apartment? How. Is. That. Possible?! Edgeworth: How is that less believable than me wearing...almost nothing? Phoenix: I guess we all just moved to Venice or something... Quote: He was immediately ambushed with hundreds, maybe even thousands of Steel Samurai merchandise. Now trapped at the bottom of a samurai mountain, he yelled to Maya and Pearls for help. "Maya, Pearls! Help me!", he screamed. Frantically, he tried to move some of samurai avalanche. But it was no use, no matter how he tried, he couldn't escape. Just when Phoenix was about to give up hope, a hand reached in through the mountain. He grabbed it as quickly as he could, and was suddenly being hoisted out of his cave. Franziska: This is an incoherent, inexcusable mess! *Wuh-PSSH* Why is Phoenix Wright suddenly in a cave?! Phoenix: (And here I was thinking she had finally calmed down...or at least accepted the twisted reality of this theater.) Quote: Phoenix arrived at the top of the mountain, and inhaled the fresh air. But his breathing stopped when he saw who helped him out of his prison. Dahlia. Phoenix: If the author wanted to write about my nightmares, they could probably just have used this part of the story. Franziska: Explain yourself, Phoenix Wright! *reaching for her whip intimidatingly Phoenix: No. Franziska: ...*Crosses her arms* Quote: She grabbed his arms and handcuffed them before Phoenix could even react. He yelled at her, asking what in the world she was going to do to him, but she never responded as she led him down a dark hallway. They made many turns, and Dahlia eventually stopped at a room and gestured for him to enter. When Phoenix refused to, she kicked him hard in the stomach, and he grudgingly stepped inside the dark room. Dahlia removed his handcuffs but quickly tied his limbs to a wall. He was awkwardly spread out, but his evil ex didn't seem to care. "Goodbye, Feenie." Phoenix: I was...awkwardly spread out? Did that kick somehow dismember me?! Edgeworth: I think the author is trying to say that you were lying in a strange, vulnerable position. Franziska: Either that or she managed to spread out your insides over the wall with one kick. Very impressive. Phoenix & Edgeworth: *Same stare of disbelief as before* Franziska: Why is it that everytime I try to make a joke people stare at me as if I have gone mad?! Quote: She left the room, leaving Phoenix spread out across a wall scared out of his mind. After about a minute, the door opened again. 'Sister Bikini? What is she doing here?', he thought curiously. But then he realized she was wearing a bikini. "You know, my bikinis look fabulous on me, especially in the winter." Bikini pulled off her hood, revealing long, luscious blonde hair. She strutted up to Phoenix, and as she leaned in to kiss him, he screamed so loud everyone in the world could hear it. Phoenix: I'm glad that after all the physical and mental pain I've gone through in this fic, I'm able to still wonder curiously why Bikini came to see me as I lie in an unknown room on the top of a mountain with my hands cuffed. Franziska: It would also appear that your alternate self is more upset about being kissed by Sister Bikini than being boiled alive in a lake full of coffee or even kissed by my little brother. Edgeworth: Franziska, when did you start making jokes? I would have thought you would try and destroy the screen like you always do. Franziska: I have decided to conserve my anger and let it grow until the time I finally get my hands on the ones responsible for this. Don't you worry, Miles Edgeworth, I haven't changed. Phoenix: Hallelujah, you're still the same. And here I was hoping you'd have mellowed out a little. *Wuh-PSSH* Phoenix: Gah! Franziska: I'm not the one who has to mellow out, it's everybody else who has to start acting less foolishly! Quote: Phoenix bolted upright in his bed. Sweating, he checked the clock. 2:17 AM. Trying to relax as he sunk his head back into his pillow, the nightmare continued to run through his head. Once he shut his eyes once more, it began to rain. 'That better not be coffee rain...', Phoenix thought as he drifted back to sleep. Edgeworth: Wright, that joke, if you could call it that, was terrible. It was even worse than one of Franziska's. *Wuh-PSSH* Edgeworth: NGHOOOOH! Phoenix: I'm glad I was able to forget that dream in a matter of moments and go back to sleep. Hopefully this means I'll be able to forget about this fic once we're out of here, too. The lights are turned on again Phoenix: Oh, is it already over? Well that was quick...And not nearly as mentally scaring as one would expect. Edgeworth: Speak for yourself, you didn't have to see yourself in that...that...position! Phoenix: No, you're right, I just had to see myself being subjected to plenty of other things. The doors suddenly open, allowing our heroes to walk out Franziska: *Running towards the exit* Where are you?! Face me if you dare, you foolishly foolish fools! Phoenix & Edgeworth:... Phoenix: So...what now? Edgeworth: I'm pretty sure I have some paperwork to take care of. And you? Phoenix: Uh, yeah...same here...(if by paperwork you mean being forced to take two spirit mediums out for lunch). Should we do something about Franziska? Edgeworth: Let her run around for a little while longer. She'll sleep well tonight... ... Hm...I think the first part of the sporking was a lot better than the second. Granted, there was a lot more fun material to work with in the beginning of the fic. Still, that doesn't excuse my jokes being bad/non-existent in the second half. Oh well. |
Author: | Builderkid107 [ Tue Sep 10, 2013 9:13 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Pessimistic_Fool wrote: @rubia: That's also still fresh, so it wasn't done yet. But it only has two chapters so far, so it's probably not finished yet. @builderkid: If nobody else takes your offer, I'll write you a pm once my spork is done. I'm sure we can find a nice fic to co-spork. Sweet, that'd be great! |
Author: | Pessimistic_Fool [ Tue Sep 10, 2013 9:39 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
No, it's a nice spork, I like it. Just a few thoughts: 1)You didn't quote the author's name. Please try to always remember to do this for future sporkings. Even sporked fics deserve to be credited. 2)Did Franziska make a dirty joke there? O.O 3)What does Edgeworth mean when he says at least Phoenix didn't see himself in "that position"? 4)Why do you spell "12th" as "12:th"? I like how Franziska tries to make jokes like all the others and nobody will laugh about them. ^^ The fic itself isn't really that bad, it's just a dream scenario. I'm curious what we'll see in its future chapters and their respective sporks. :D |
Author: | Rubia Ryu the Royal [ Tue Sep 10, 2013 10:54 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Well done, Thane. Actually, I found the spork a bit shaky in the introduction (it's easy to flanderize Franziska, so watch that you don't overdo it), but once you hit the fanfic, it was smooth sailing. I selected that particular fic for several reasons, but mostly for the insanity of the dream. It could have taken a more serious route with a title like that, but the first few paragraphs sealed it as a crack fic. As Pessimistic_Fool said, it's not a bad fic, but it'd be very suitable material to work with for a sporking. @Pessimistic_Fool I think Edgeworth meant "that position" he was in for that one scene. Though, "awkwardly spread out" doesn't sound much better. |
Author: | Pessimistic_Fool [ Wed Sep 11, 2013 12:22 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
But all the sporkers are watching the same fic, so Phoenix would have seen it? Anyway... TODAY'S SPORK: DECK THE THEATER WITH... UM, SWEET CORN AND CHESTNUTS OR SOMETHING! It's A Christmas Carol! The season is too warm, the snacks are plenty, fic-Mia is out of character, the inconsistancies within the theater are finally adressed, and if Edgeworth didn't hate Christmas before, he sure will hate it after the events in this fic. Ranking: Still, one sahwit. Or let's say one and a half. This fic is actually well written if you disregard a few points. I liked the little twists the author did with it. However, the transition from the original story to the Ace Attorney setting caused some plot points to appear, so I thought it was still sporkable. Last but not least because of Mia's performance and the ongoing uncomfortableness I felt while reading this fic. And our lovely sporkers today are: -Phoenix Wright Phoenix: Okay, everyone who didn't see this coming, raise your hand. -Miles Edgeworth Edgeworth: I should have my own opening sequence by now. -Maya Fey Maya: I hope they refilled the snack bar! -and Dick Gumshoe Gumshoe: Ooh, do I hear snack bar? Count me in! [We open to an empty sporking theater. Faint sounds can be heard from the neighboring theater room. Suddenly, the doors burst open and two unhappy looking sporkers get shoved inside.] Phoenix: Oof! Hey! I'm cooperating, I'm cooperating! [Behind them, two piles of various snacks walk in on their own. The door locks snap into place as they progress to their seats.] Gumshoe: I can't believe we got it all for free! Those guys in the management must really like you. Maya: Yeah, it's strange for them to just give it away like that. But hey, I'm not complaining. Edgeworth: *eyeing the giant snack pile Gumshoe is carrying* Isn't that a bit much, Detective? Gumshoe: Aw, don't worry, Mr. Edgeworth. I'll share with you. Edgeworth: That wasn't exactly my point... Maya: Anyway, sit down, the fic is starting! Quote: An Ace Attorney Christmas Carol Author: theAceAttorneyRises Phoenix: *starts reading* An Ace A...-what? Christmas? It's not even fall yet. Have you checked the temperatures lately? Edgeworth: *sigh* It seems that my prediction has come true. Phoenix: Your prediction? Edgeworth: Yes, from when we were reviewing the werewolf fic. Do you remember? Quote: Maya: You didn't even mention the misplaced "it" up there. Even I noticed it. Edgeworth: If I commented on everything that is wrong with this fic, we'd be sitting here until Christmas. Phoenix: Oh, I completely forgot about that. Maya: So then...? Edgeworth: Yes, as we did comment on every minor detail in the second part, the management happily decided that it is now, indeed, Christmas. Speakers: Fa la la la la, la la la la. Spoiler: More spork under the cut |
Author: | Builderkid107 [ Sat Sep 14, 2013 6:01 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Pessimistic_Fool wrote: I did save the link where he transforms during the spork, yes, by drinking grape juice. But I don't remember if Ema changed, too. She was there for the spork, but I don't remember it very well. http://z11.invisionfree.com/court_recor ... try8843397 Well, I do remember Mia in it. :\ |
Author: | Rubia Ryu the Royal [ Sun Sep 15, 2013 8:40 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
I feel like I've read that Christmas Carol story somewhere... oh right, on Fanfiction.net, during a random browsing one day. It wasn't bad... it wasn't that good either, so it's just fine here. By the way, I'd like to point out that the broken timeline in the sporking theater doesn't really add much to the drama and sometimes feels like it's there as a bit of filler. I know it's been there for a long time already, but I'd prefer if it's not brought up. If it has to be, then it should be short, like how Pessimistic put it in her post. Another note: the pages in this thread are incredibly long and the really long sporkings probably should be hidden into spoilers to help save space. To distinguish these posts from actual spoilers, just title the spoiler with something more interesting. And finally: It's important to come up with lots of jokes in a sporking, but it's not a good idea to overdo them. If a part of a fic doesn't need a response, then the sporker doesn't need to include one. (I'm not talking about addressing the more serious points of a fic. I'm talking about the random comments of "[so-and-so] is in character." It's fine if it turns into a gag, though.) ...I don't do critiques usually, but when I do, I get snappy. Now I feel like a jerk. Quick, someone come in with a witty comeback! |
Author: | Pessimistic_Fool [ Sun Sep 15, 2013 12:48 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Thank you for your feedback, Rubia! :) The thing with the timeline is this: Since it's already there and we have so many relatively new sporkers, it can help people write their own sporks without having to go through 50 or so previous ones to get the continuity right. I do prefer the sporks that work with continuity, but I also understand that it can be very discouraging for someone who arrived late and would have to read all those previous sporks at once in order to write their own. So if someone has a really good idea for a spork and not enough time to read up, or if someone doesn't like how things developed and wants to write something differing from the "real" current sporking theater setting, now would be a good time to do it. Also, the old timeline is set to a soon to be outdated time. Once Dual Destinies comes out in English, I'm sure some sporkers will want to write the new (or older) characters without having to explain their sudden existance. I understand your annoyance, though. It's not the best thing to have, I just simply noticed it and decided to deal with it this way. I was aware that it was a bit of a risk. As to the amount of comments: I'll try to reduce the more unfunny ones in my future sporks. But if I come up with too much nonsense, I must ask you to forgive me. It's hard to judge which jokes will work and which won't, and I'd hate to cut out the wrong ones. |
Author: | Builderkid107 [ Sat Sep 21, 2013 12:51 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Quote: Franziska: By the sound of things there'll soon be plenty of other things in the 'right place'. Phoenix & Edgeworth: *Looking at Franziska in total disbelief* Franziska: *Whipping the ground* So now I'm not allowed to make a joke? I'll have you know my sense of humor is flawless! I don't get it... "..." OH GOD! |
Author: | Builderkid107 [ Sat Sep 21, 2013 2:07 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
In a response to the christmas-fic: Phoenix: Gah! That's not a good combination. That's not a good combination at all! Maya: Nick! He's staring into my soul! And I think he wants to do something horrible with it! Edgeworth: (Note to self: Practice this face to leave a stronger impression.) Oh, god. Phoenix: Also, we don't really "exchange" anything. More like... *writes something on a piece of paper and tosses it over to Edgeworth* Edgeworth: *unfolds the message and reads* ...Heh. As I expected of the two of you. Maya: T-two of who? Me? Are you talking about me? Nick! What did you write on that note? Phoenix: Ha hah... nothing, Maya... nothing at all. Edgeworth: Why does everybody keep breaking into song around me today? Kay: But isn't it cute? He's singing his Christmas song from the musical. Maya: Musical? Kay: You don't know? Have you never googled your name or anything? Maya: Nick wouldn't let me. He said it wouldn't be safe... whatever that means. Kay: I'll send you a link. I didn't understand why Nick told her not to Google her own name, I proceeded to do just that. Then I understood. Also, what did Nick write on the note? Phoenix: I guess that's one way to react when some Grim Reaper-look-alike is pointing a scythe at you. I think personally, I would have reacted less poetically and more along the lines of "WAAAAAAAAAH!!!". But that would require Edgeworth to show emotions, and thats bad. Maya: Ah! Th-that man! It's future Nick!! Phoenix: Uh... sorry, what? Maya: That man! I met him before! He was here for the last spork! He had a daughter! And- Phoenix: Whoa whoa, HOLD IT! A-are you seriously saying that this is me... from the future? [The fic is paused. Everybody is looking at Maya in varying degrees of disbelief.] Gumshoe: Are you feeling alright, pal? Maya: I'm fine, guys! It's him! I'm telling you... Edgeworth: I'm sorry, but you must be mistaken, Maya. Maya: But... Mr. Edgeworth, I really... Edgeworth: This man you are looking at is indeed Wright... from the past. Phoenix: Me... I... f-from the... wha... WHAAAAAAAAT?! Speakers: Excuse me? I mean, us? I mean, the management... would like to know what the hell is going on right about now! [Our sporkers proceed to talk over each other for several minutes in their confusion. Finally, Edgeworth motions them to silence.] Edgeworth: One thing seems clear. The source of this confusion lies somewhere within this theater. I cannot even begin to comprehend how this is possible... however, based on our experiences today and Maya's encounter with... that man she described, it would appear that- Speakers: ...the timeline is screwed. Yes, we noticed. And this is quite an expensive piece of equipment we're talking about here, too. If it can be repaired at all... ah, this is bad... Edgeworth: *glares at speakers* In that case, I would strongly advise the management to find a quick solution for this "little problem", while some of us still have the memories to recognize it. Speakers: That will be our first priority. In the meantime, please pay no attention to the... broken unit behind the curtain, and finish the spork as usual. Or better yet, forget everything that happened just now. We believe you were here... Wat. Maya: Where is that Obamacare when you need it? Edgeworth: If a man in his situation can't pay for his child's medication, he should be aware that medical care is covered for their generation. *bows* Gumshoe: That was beautiful, Mr. Edgeworth! Phoenix: (Show-off!) *Facepalm* Phoenix: "Nooooo-my-unnecessarily-expensive-suit-of-undefinable-color-will-get-staaaaaiiiins!" Edgeworth: How old are you, Wright? Phoenix: I have no idea. I think I was 27 this morning. It's pi- *Notices Edgeworth glaring out of corner of eye* Crimson. |
Author: | Pessimistic_Fool [ Sat Sep 21, 2013 2:20 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
It's not pink. Its color varies from appearance to appearance, but it's never truly pink. I do agree with people that it comes close to magenta at times, but even then it's only "close to", not exactly magenta. And Phoenix wrote on the note because he wanted to avoid an angry Maya. ;) |
Author: | Builderkid107 [ Sat Sep 21, 2013 2:23 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Pessimistic_Fool wrote: It's not pink. Its color varies from appearance to appearance, but it's never truly pink. I do agree with people that it comes close to magenta at times, but even then it's only "close to", not exactly magenta. And Phoenix wrote on the note because he wanted to avoid an angry Maya. ;) It's Crimson, Edgeworth says it himself. (In GK2, I think...) Not why, but what did he write on the note? |
Author: | Pessimistic_Fool [ Sat Sep 21, 2013 2:26 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Read the end/aftermath of the spork. ;) |
Author: | Builderkid107 [ Sat Sep 21, 2013 2:29 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Pessimistic_Fool wrote: Read the end/aftermath of the spork. ;) Ah, I missed that -_- |
Author: | Builderkid107 [ Sat Sep 21, 2013 3:54 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
http://z11.invisionfree.com/court_recor ... 952&st=480 Does anyone know if Neni put up the next part of this 2 post masterpiece? |
Author: | Pessimistic_Fool [ Sat Sep 21, 2013 4:07 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Since she didn't even tell us what fic it was (and I'm too lazy too google), it's hard to tell if it even had a continuation. However, I think Neni only posted one other spork after that, which was left with a never resolved cliffhanger. |
Author: | Builderkid107 [ Sat Sep 21, 2013 4:36 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Pessimistic_Fool wrote: Since she didn't even tell us what fic it was (and I'm too lazy too google), it's hard to tell if it even had a continuation. However, I think Neni only posted one other spork after that, which was left with a never resolved cliffhanger. That's inconvenient -_- Oh well, hows the spork going? Which part are you on right now? |
Author: | Builderkid107 [ Sun Sep 22, 2013 10:28 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Here's my go, special thanks to Pessimistic_fool for helping/doing this with me. Today's Spork: A boring affair Rating: 1 Sahwit. This fic isn't bad as it is boring. It's solid, but the writing itself does lack. Attention sporkers! This is an important message from your management. Due to some broken equipment in our theater, the door mechanism is currently out of order. We apologize for the inconvenience. Phoenix: It sure looks out of order. I can see security patrolling in the lobby. Franziska: To leave the doors open and waste good personnel on guarding it instead of having it fixed rightaway... what a careless and disgraceful thing to do. Quote: An Office Affair Written And Published By – MasterMindOfFiction Phoenix: Well, judging by the script *Epic finger point* I've already spotted a contradiction! Edgeworth: ... Franziska: Thank you, general obvious. Have this whip. *Whip-crack* Phoenix: YEEEEAAAAAAAAAHOOOOOWWW Quote: When you choose to have a career in law, you probably have expectations of the norm. Yeah, depending on which rank you fall into and what role you play. . .you're probably expecting nothing unusual. Phoenix: Well... Edgeworth: Don't start. We'll be in this theater forever. Quote: 'I must wake up at the most unholy hour possible and get this paperwork finished' – That's what one imagines the morning is like. Edgeworth: No, its more "I got the paperwork done the night before so now I don't have to do it this morning" Phoenix: Huh? The fic's description sounds pretty accurate to me. *Whip-crack* Franziska: For your procrastination and slothfulness! Quote: That one is correct. . .but not entirely so. Of course there's boring things like that. Some people, however. . .some people find that every day gives an event that serves as a memorable highlight of strangeness – and will serve to be either a hilarious story to tell to one's therapist or will make for awesome nostalgia. Edgeworth: Therapist? Is it that bad? Phoenix: (I can't say I never thought of it, but I'm not going to mention it to those two.) Franziska: Phoenix Wright! Pull yourself together! Quote: Especially when this aforementioned one is a defense attorney whom was wrapped up into yet another case, with yet another collection of days arriving in court and dealing with a certain whip-carrying prosecutor. And let's just assume this one's name is Phoenix Wright, or something. Phoenix: A "collection of days"? How do you collect days? Do you have, like, a magic giant hour glass that can suck them in and then they're just floating around in it or something? Besides I am not a whip-carrying prosecutor... *Whip-crack* Franziska: Magic hourglass? What a foolish idea. Quote: Well, our tale officially begins inside of the big show-off building where this aforementioned whip-carrying prosecutor – among others whose names aren't relevant to this tale – works. Phoenix: There's more than one? Oh, wait. Is it a German thing to have all prosecutors carry around a whip? It's a German thing, isn't it? *Whip-crack* Franziska: Phoenix Wright, how daft can you be! Quote: But it doesn't take place in her office, oh God Phoenix didn't know if he could have the backbone needed to set foot in there without her permission. Franziska: Hah, at least he knows! Phoenix: Believe me, if I have something to tell you, I'll keep it to myself. Edgeworth: Heh, wise choice. Quote: Even if she gave permission, she would probably have those icy blue eyes locked on him the whole time... Phoenix: Wait... *stares at Franziska* Franziska: F-Fool, s-stop staring at me like th-that! *Whip-crack* Phoenix: As I thought, her eyes are gray, not blue; also OOOUUUCHHHH! Quote: ...and make him feel like he was under a giant spotlight trying to figure out the secret code to save the universe in ten seconds. . .and in his undergarments. Phoenix: Hmm, that reminds me of a dream I had on- *Whip-crack* Edgeworth: What Franziska is trying to say is: You're not doing a very good job at keeping things to yourself. Quote: He needed to make a mental note to stop finding Franziska intimidating sometimes. Phoenix: Maybe if she got her anger issues under control, I would. Franziska: *glare* Edgeworth: (Or maybe if either of them acted their age for a change...) Quote: Then again, that was the effect she intended to have on people – so maybe he shouldn't attempt such a thing or face the consequences. Phoenix: Nice idea, I should really follow that. Franziska: Yes, you should. Quote: Setting all of this aside, Phoenix was here of all places because there was someone he needed to receive information from. Phoenix: If fic!me thinks that the prosecution will give him information, he's an idiot. Franziska: I can agree with this. Edgeworth: As can I. Phoenix: We are talking about fic!me, right? Quote: The details of this case are kind of long and go on and on, we would mention it. . .but it doesn't have much relevance right now. Everyone was on the second day of the trial, however. And that's all that needs to be said at the moment. Edgeworth: Second day and you aren't frolicking around with Maya, illegally concealing evidence and Steel Samurai posters. Interesting. Phoenix: Conceiling evidence? We don't con... -Steel Samurai posters? Quote: He needed to speak with Miles Edgeworth of all people. Edgeworth: Of all people? Quote: Seeing as he wasn't the prosecutor for this one, Phoenix assumed he wouldn't feel so strangely about approaching him for whatever he knew about why the defendant and the previous witness seemed to know each other well – surely he'd know due to the fact only recently the witness worked here as the unlucky dude who has to monitor the very lifeless floors of the building for 'suspicious activity' and then gave up the job. Phoenix: Fic!me obviously doesn't know that Edgeworth doesn't pay attention to that sort of things. Edgeworth: Of course not, I'm too busy looking after Kay and Detective Gumshoe. ?:Did someone say 'Kay'? *Smoke-Bomb* Kay: It is I, Kay Faraday! Edgeworth: Ah, there you are. I was wondering if you would join us today. Franziska: Kay Faraday. How nice it is to see you. Quote: To be honest, it's not hard to figure out why this young man gave up the job. . .oh, but that's irrelevant. Edgeworth: What? I've got no clue. Phoenix: Same. Kay: Me neither. *Screen-whip* Franziska: Curse this foolish author's foolishly foolish lack of explanations! Phoenix: Keep going, maybe it'll break! (Half a million strokes should be the charm...) Quote: Phoenix managed to reach his office. Edgeworth: You managed? Is it really that difficult? Phoenix: Nah, once you get past the lasers and crocodile pits, it's a breeze. Kay: That's why I come in through the air vent these days. Quote: He approached the door, putting on a smile hoping to seem charming and not a little worried of how he may reach to his inquiries. Franziska: Phoenix Wright? Charm? Pah, my whip has more charm! Quote: But luckily, his smile was charming effortlessly. You'd think that he'd have people falling low and doing whatever the hell he wanted at first sight of it. Edgeworth: I'm sure he would like that very much. Quote: Phoenix often questioned why it never helped him – but maybe that's irrelevant right now? Kay: I dunno, why are you asking us? Quote: Phoenix raised his fist to the closed door and rapped a few times, loud enough to gain attention. He patiently waited for about forty seconds Phoenix: Why was I timing my wait? Quote: . . .and didn't receive any answer from Miles. He even pressed an ear to the door – he didn't hear any sounds of page-turning or lecturing Gumshoe. Phoenix: Oh yeah, I now have super-sonic hearing, I can hear pages turn. Quote: Still, he didn't think that Miles had left. He was always in there at this time of the morning, unless he got sick or something and had to return home after a lot of intense persuasion from a very worried Gumshoe. His job made him entitled to barge in uninvited. Phoenix: Yeah, I test your doors to make sure they're barge-worthy. Quote: But Phoenix would rather not spend twenty minutes being lectured by Miles for not being proper about it. Phoenix: Hey, I can properly barge into a room! I mean enter! I can properly enter a room. Edgeworth: And this is exactly what your fictional self is trying to do. What are you complaining about? Phoenix: Oh, right... sorry. (I guess I got a bit overzealous with my comments there.) Quote: Out of the blue, he heard the crack of a whip. Phoenix immediately cringed and he threw himself backward, especially more so when he heard the voice of Franziska; "Why did you stop?!" She didn't sound very happy, her words were hostile and her tone was both baffled and angry. Phoenix: Franziska, your words are attacking me. Franziska: As they should. Quote: Phoenix couldn't help being a little curious when he overheard Miles sighing as if troubled. He walked closer to the door and listened in. Edgeworth: Wright, if I may implore you not to eavesdrop on any and all conversations and goings-on in my office. Phoenix: Don't worry, fic!me is already about to regret it. Edgeworth: Wha- how do you know that? Phoenix: I've read the script. Franziska: Phoenix Wright, if you give me that script, I will let you off the hook for whatever you may do for one day. Phoenix: I didn't bring it. I thought you guys would get your own copy. Franziska: Hmpf. Is this the foolish management's foolish attempt to make you their new favorite? Edgeworth: We can only hope so. Quote: "Fool! I was enjoying it until you broke away like that!" Another flinch-causing sound of her whip. And Miles gasping from the shock of being struck. "You're failing to keep me interested these days. . .would you mind explaining yourself?" Phoenix: Why would you gasp when struck? Wouldn't you, I dunno, scream, or at least curse under your breath? Quote: What the hell was she talking about? Phoenix couldn't help wondering, because Miles sounded like he was worn out and not very into life at the moment. Phoenix: Not very into life? You mean, "emo"? Edgeworth: I do not indulge in self-pity and I do not listen to rock music, Wright! Kay: I think he meant... Edgeworth: Don't start, Kay. Kay: 'kay. Quote: While Franziska sounded like she was prepared to drop her whip and settle for giving someone a sucker punch or something. Franziska: Drop my whip? Preposterous! I would just whip them into submission and deliver the punch afterwards. Phoenix: (Gah, that's kinda scary...) Quote: But then another thought entered his mind. . .and Phoenix couldn't help letting his eyes widen as to wonder; why would Miles and Franziska sound like the aforementioned whilst being in the former's office with the door closed? Edgeworth: Wright. Phoenix: ...? Edgeworth: Script, please. I'd like to see where this is going. Phoenix: Like I said before, I didn't bring it. Franziska: Meanwhile, I just want to know what is going on in that sentence! *Screen-whip* Quote: Maybe he was being inappropriate with his theories, but still. . . Out of seemingly nowhere, Miles began to reply to her frustration. "Franziska, I know that we're loosing something. I'm trying to recover it, but you aren't being cooperative." He sounded either prepared to go home and lie around in bed all day, or wanting to get something strong to drink. Edgeworth: How did the reply come "Out of seemingly nowhere"? The words come out of my mouth. In response to Franziska's complaint. Phoenix: Go home? Lie around? Bed? Drink? Edgeworth: Are we expanding our vocabulary, Wright? Quote: "I'M not being cooperative? How can you say such foolish things like that?!" Oh, Franziska wasn't very calmed in that moment. By the sound of things, Phoenix assumed she flopped down on his desk and kicked it with her foot. "Miles Edgeworth, you are the one who needs to learn when to react properly. I am being as cooperative as I can, the way I stepped back and allowed you to be the one to initiate it was perfectly done!" Edgeworth: For the record, I have no idea what's going on here. *sweating* Franziska: Neither do I... but I'm not sure if I want to know. *sweating* Quote: "For the record, I haven't done this often. I am convinced that 'perfection' isn't always needed, Franziska." Franziska: Fool! Perfection is always needed when you're a von Karma! *Whip-crack* Phoenix: OW! What did I do? Quote: "The first few times are the ones that count! If you truly want to be with me, you must stop acting like a foolish fool and do this properly!" Edgeworth: Be with? Franziska: Be...with? Phoenix: (It seems they've connected the dots.) Quote: "Hmm. . ." "What has caused you to look so smug? Wipe that look off of your face, Miles Edgeworth! You cannot carry this out properly, you've no reason to look smug!" Kay: Ah, Mr. Edgeworth looks smug all the time. Edgeworth: I do not. Kay: Do too! Phoenix: Ladies, ladies, you're both pretty, now be good and pay attention. Quote: "I was just thinking about how you claim to be doing this 'properly', and 'perfectly. But do you recall the last time we did it? I recall you doing all of the dominating and wouldn't even let me protest that you were not doing it right." Franziska: W- Edgeworth: W- Phoenix: Yeah, I'd like to solve the puzzle: "What the hell?" Quote: "Because you were not reacting when I gave signals. I recall removing some of my clothing and nestling against your body; all you did was give one minor glance and walk away." Kay: I'm gonna go ahead and leave. *Smoke-bomb* Edgeworth: As will I. *He gets up and starts for the door* *Ffffft* Edgeworth: Wha- *collapses* Speakers: Oh yeah, new trap. Edgeworth: I hate you. Speakers: Don't worry, it's just a numbing dart. Looks like it got ya right in the right leg, so go back to your seat and sit down before it kicks in and you can't move your legs. Dude, I told you, you're s'posed to talk like a professional. And start with "the management"! Oh, er, right. Uh, the, um, management... would like to, uh, suggest you return to your seat. Mr. Edgeworth. Did that sound about right? Edgeworth: My legs? I can't feel my entire body. Speakers:The management would like to inform Mr. Edgeworth that the dosage was too large, which will numb your entire body. We apologize. Oh my god, are you serious? If she finds out about this, we're so gonna be in trouble! Phoenix: Oh well, at least they clean the floor, right? Speakers: No. Edgeworth: *grumble* Quote: "Yes, that is what happened. But you seem to have forgotten this: I was trying not to look because I was well aware that I always give in when I look more than once. If you're wondering why I'm not reacting excitedly, it has much to do with the fact you're dominating too often." Edgeworth: Mrphermphh. Phoenix: Uh, it seems that your face is numb as well. (Something tells me the management did not think this through.) Franziska: I am tempted to try this trap out for myself and see if it will affect my ability to watch this repulsive fanfic. Phoenix: (Oh please, do go ahead.) Quote: ". . .I assume you don't understand that I am entitled to have the dominating position?" Franziska: Of course I am. Phoenix: Not a good thing, von Karma. Franziska: Of course it is... -professionally speaking. Anything else is merely a twisted fantasy in a foolish fool's mind. Quote: "Franziska, you aren't automatically given it because you're more. . .intense. Wielding that whip doesn't help you either." Franziska: Yes it does! *screen-whip* Phoenix: (Oh brother...) Quote: "Oh. . .I believe I know what the problem is now." Phoenix: Tell us, we're dying to know. Quote: Phoenix couldn't beat the record for 'how long can I go without being stunned by what I am hearing'. Phoenix: Hah, Maya can, she wrote it down on a slip of paper and taped it to my wall. Quote: His expression turned from curiosity to a priceless look of shock. The floodgates opened and a red shade began to rush into his cheeks. Edgeworth: You know that floodgates are usually associated with tears, not blood, right? Phoenix: You can talk now? Edgeworth: Yes. Still can't move, though. Phoenix: I'm sorry to he... -blood? I'm not bleeding. Edgeworth: I'm talking about the blood rushing to your face, obviously. Quote: For some reason – he blamed human nature, curse it – he just couldn't peel himself away from the door and give them some privacy. . .for whatever they were doing. . . Phoenix: Fic!me, please, do this for us, for us sporkers! Just leave, and never come back! Franziska: While you're at it, give up, go home, consider a career change. Quote: Franziska von Karma and Miles Edgeworth, really? Well, the combination wouldn't be impossible. It did kind of seem logical from another perspective, and Phoenix felt like he could agree to that. Phoenix: NO I CAN'T! *Whip-crack* Phoenix: AAAAGGGHHAAAAOOOWWWW! Franziska: Be quiet, Phoenix Wright! Your foolish screaming is distracting my aim. And just what about all that nonsense is "logical"? *Screen-whip* Quote: "(Well. . .I don't think I could reach the level of 'shipper'.)" Phoenix: Yeah, that's Pearls' job. Franziska: Pearls? You mean that rude little cousin of yours? Phoenix: She's not my cousin. Quote: Phoenix corrected in the mind, silently laughing nervously at the thought. "(If they're really into the concept, I guess I could be okay with it. But I have to admit that the relationship would be as I'm hearing it – I don't think Franziska could settle for traditional roles. Not that there is anything WRONG with that. . .ahem. . .)" Phoenix: It seem this has been written by Mr. Grossberg, now all we need are some lemons. Franziska: Who? Edgeworth: ...Lemons? Phoenix: Nevermind... Quote: There was a brief moment where Franziska was overheard rising to her feet. And she began talking in that smug tone of hers that gave Phoenix bad memories of her father. . . "You have a sexist perspective of the situation, Miles Egeworth. You can't live with the fact that there are a lot of women who are not going to lie down when instructed and don't always have open legs." Edgeworth: How does me not wanting to do... something with you make me someone who oppresses women? Franziska: The world may never know... Phoenix: (I for one can live with the fact that her legs aren't open. *shudder*) Quote: "Sexist?! Where. . .where could that idea come from?" "I can see you weren't expecting that. Well, allow me to explain: you previously stated you don't find my dominating tendencies to be pleasuring, that's all the background I need." This was so wrong. . .he knew he shouldn't be listening. Edgeworth: My thoughts exactly. In fact, none of us should be listening to this. Phoenix: Please, fic!me... just leave! Franziska: Let the door hit you on the way out. Quote: But Phoenix just shoved his ear closer to the door, straining it and trying to hear even the slightest breath that was taken. Franziska: Fool! *Whip-crack* Franziska: What did we just say!? Phoenix: Owwww... (Aim forward, woman! Forward!) Quote: Ahem, of course he would feel ashamed of this tomorrow. . .tomorrow. . . After a few moments of silence, Miles began to speak again. His tone was now normal, low but certainly full in the smug type of confidence as if he pointed out a crucial point. "There's one problem to your thoughts: I never ADMITTED to that. And I can't admit something that isn't true." Phoenix: Great, yet another author who's on close terms with Edgeworth. And what a good moment they picked to show it. Quote: Ah, there was that sound of Franziska readying the whip. Phoenix totally missed that. "Foolish fool! If you don't admit it sooner or later, I'll have no choice but to end this foolish moment with-" Franziska's angry lecturing was cut short, when she suddenly gasped as if truly caught off guard. Franziska: I am never caught off guard! *Screen-whip* Phoenix: Keep trying, you can do with some target practice. Franziska: Silence, Phoenix Wright! *Whip-crack* Quote: Phoenix listened for any sound at all, he honestly was worried that something terrible happened to the perfection-obsessed prosecutor. Finally, he overheard. . .er. . .sounds. Like two people smacking into a rough surface and then the collision onto a soft couch or something. And the loudest sounds were rather pleasured ones. Edgeworth:How could you possibly know it was a couch? Phoenix: You're worrying about how I think it was a couch, and not that you and Franziska are snogging it in your office... Edgeworth: Who says snog these days, Wright? Phoenix: (Did I really just hear a comment about getting with the times from Edgeworth?) Quote: You know; the pleasured sounds people make when they snog in every romance movie ever. They're loud and awkward. . .but they certainly make you feel hot after listening for a few seconds. Phoenix: This guy says it! Edgeworth: I don't think this author knows what they are talking about, as you can tell by their clumsy attempt of an explanation. Quote: Phoenix's expression had drastically altered four times in those few moments. He originally looked very fascinated, then sly, then utterly mortified, and finally 'what the -Bleep-?' blank. Phoenix: And they didn't hear me? They must be really goi- Edgeworth: Stop right there! Franziska: *nervous* Quote: Strangely, he felt like he needed to take a really long shower. Unfortunately, he was overcome with mental imagery of the apparent couple getting intimate in his mind. Phoenix hated it when that happened. Not that this happened frequently – we SWEAR it doesn't. Edgeworth: We? *gets up* Who's "we"? Speakers: The management swears it has nothing to do with it! But while you're standing, please return to your seat. Quote: For what seemed like forever, their alleged kiss carried on. Phoenix literally counted it with the time on his cell phone screen, Phoenix: I seriously had nothing better to do? Quote: he was stunned to realize this went on for one minute. One freaking minute, people! What is oxygen to them?! At long last, they must have separated because both sounded dramatically breathless and in need of paramedics. But we're probably exaggerating that a little. Edgeworth: One minute without air is quite a bit... and I have an inkling that our fic selves were not the only ones lacking oxygen during the production of this fic. Quote: Apparently, Franziska has superhuman lungs or something. Despite apparently breathless, she began speaking again. "Miles Edgeworth. . .what. . .what are you. . ." Franziska: Let me pick this up: "What are you doing? I've got an eavesdropping fool to whip within an inch of their foolish life!" *glares at Phoenix* Phoenix: Gyah! It's just fic!me. Learn the difference! Quote: Promptly, Miles began to carry on despite sounding a little shaky and unable to get breathing back in order. Yeah, that's what getting lost in a moment can do. "I. . .I don't think it's unappealing if you dominate. . .sometimes however, I feel like it's appropriate if I dominate." Edgeworth: And then I passed out and the rest never happen. Speakers: The management would like to remind Miles Edgeworth that gray... gary... gravy... grape viol... uhm. Fourth wall breaks are not permitted! Quote: "Well. . .do it. . ." Edgeworth: Rest. Never. Happened. Quote: "So. . .you're finally. . .? You're finally convinced I can give you special treatment?" Edgeworth: NEVER HAPPENED! *frantic* Quote: "After that. . .hell yes." Franziska: NO, HELL NO! NEVER HAPPENED, NEVER HAPPENED!! N-Never...! *clings to her whip for security* Phoenix: (One of the rare ocassions von Karma loses her cool...) Quote: Floor, meet head. Head, meet floor. That was just Phoenix internally prepping himself for the confrontation between the floor and his unresponsive head. But that confrontation didn't happen yet. Briefly, there was yet another sound. . .like something being tossed through the air and smacking into the wall. Franziska's sharp cry of protest hinted to Phoenix that it must have been her trusty old whip. Her next words spoken in uncharacteristically shaky manner backed up the theory. . . Franziska: *glares at Edgeworth* Franziska: Now I'll beat you within an inch of your life! Edgeworth: What did I do to deserve this? Quote: "W-w-w-what did you just do?! You foolish fool, how dare you. . .th-throw away my-" "Franziska, the whip will not be needed for the upcoming affairs. You should relax and allow me to try something new. Hmm. . .I like that helpless look on your face."/ Franziska: ... *Whip-crack* Franziska: Don't you dare get ideas, Miles Edgeworth! Quote: "Don't look so seduced, Miles Edgeworth! You act as though I-I-I'm not threatening enough without my whip." "Unfortunately for me and everyone else you speak with, the whip will be back in your possession when we're finished. Be a good sport for once and get undressed." Phoenix: Well, at least we won't get to see it through that door. (For all we know, she could be wearing a tutu underneath.) Quote: "The same goes for you. I am not getting undressed until you do it first." Franziska: Good. That should prevent further shenanigans from happening. Quote: "Strange. . .didn't you previously rant about wanting to be the one to do everything first?" Franziska: I'm leaving! *gets up and turns toward the exit* Edgeworth: You might want to reconsider. The dart trap is still in effect. There's no telling how strong the next dosage will be. Franziska: *grumbles and returns to her seat* Quote: "V-Von Karmas don't ALWAYS have to be first. Just get undressed, damn it. . ." Phoenix: No, they need to be... Furst in everything. Speakers: The management would like to remind you that breaking the fourth wall is not permitted, and neither are horrible jokes. Phoenix: Are they ever? Speakers: Depends if Kay Faraday is here. Phoenix: (Oh, brother!) Quote: "No, I believe you should do it first. 'Ladies first' is something I have to follow." "Miles Edgeworth! If you do not get undressed this instant, I will walk over there and do it MYSELF – and it's not going to be very lovingly when I almost break one of your limbs." Oh God, it sounded like a violent bedroom scene in there. Threatening and not very lovingly, but still kind of hot in a strange point of view we'd rather not elaborate on. Suddenly, Phoenix no longer knew what he was listening to – he was torn between barging in anyway or leaving and pretending he heard nothing. Phoenix: Leave, leave, leave, leave... Quote: For some reason, he couldn't help shipping them so hard in this moment – especially more so when he could overhear some gasps and then what could have been those two falling back to the couch or something similar. There was a slight rustle, like. . .clothes being removed? Phoenix: LEAVE, LEAVE, LEAVE, LEAVE... Quote: Phoenix was basically trying to fuse with the door, pressing an ear close and trying to pick up any kind of noise. . .something to give him context back. God knows that he needed it, he feared it died long ago. There was something about the following gasp of pleasure from Franziska, it sent the floodgates open and a red shade fell over his cheeks. Phoenix: GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! Franziska: *blush* Edgeworth: Was that...red on your cheeks? Franziska: No. Edgeworth: I'm pretty sure it wa- *whip-crack* Edgeworth: Ack! Never mind. Quote: "Miles Edgeworth! How dare you attempt to catch me off guard with those fast hands!" Edgeworth: I'm still pretty good at the piano... Quote: "The gasp was all I needed to know you enjoyed being touched like that, you know." Phoenix: Please tell me he just gave her a manicure or something! Franziska: Under normal circumstances I would object, but between that and the alternative, I will gladly pretend that my nails were uncharacteristically untended. Quote: "Wipe that smug smile off of your face. . ." Franziska: Please do. Quote: "I could, but I think it's more than necessary in this moment." Franziska: Now! Quote: "What are you implying?" "It turns you on. Now, let's end words for a moment and focus on actions." Franziska: How about the "actions" of getting back to work and having Phoenix Wright removed from the door! Quote: Well, Miles did mention he wanted to silence them and focus on actions. He apparently must have been doing that, because they stopped exchanging randomly. Phoenix didn't have to press himself uncomfortably against the door to know that he was overhearing. . .you know. . .pleasured and kissing sounds from the inside. [Our sporkers all stare at the screen with varying degrees of horror and disgust on their faces. After a moment of perplexion, the short silence is disturbed by at least a douzen screen-whippings.] Quote: What is context? Why was he here in the first place? Phoenix wished he could grapple the answers, but he was simply left in the freaking dark. Those sounds. Really, the temperature in this building should not have been as majorly high as it felt. Edgeworth: Hmm, "someone" must've bumped the thermostat. Franziska: *glares at him with the fury of a thousand suns* Edgeworth: Ngh! I-I meant Detective Gumshoe! What are you thinking of me? Quote: He really should leave them alone for. . .that. Phoenix: Nice idea, self. Quote: Okay feet, anytime now. Phoenix: It seems fic!me has been hit by one of the management's darts. Quote: Freaking MOVE already, feet! Franziska and Miles would flip out if they knew he had been eavesdropping – especially Franziska! Franziska: Flip out? No, you'd flip out. Phoenix: Oh, really? Franziska: Yes, all your blood would flip out of the gaping wounds left by my whip leather! Edgeworth: (Gah, that was dark.) Phoenix: (I'd best shut up now.) Quote: "Aah!" "Franziska, why did you jump back?" Franziska: Because I need to put distance between us so I can whip you with the tip of my whip. Phoenix: That rhymed. *Whip-crack* Franziska: Keep your foolish thoughts to yourself! Quote: "I don't know how you're capable of doing so, but I do know that my tongue can't handle going that far! Fool, you could have-" Phoenix: ("...choked and spared us the rest of this scene"?) Quote: "Sorry! I assumed you could handle it, after all. . .isn't your tongue more than prepared when we're in your bed?" Edgeworth: Uuuggghh! Why are we being subjected to this? Franziska: *cringes* Is this... a punishment? Phoenix: (Where are the paper bags when you need them?) *covers his face in his hands and sobs silently to himself* Quote: Context! Context was so badly wanted! Phoenix knew this was the worst possible time, but he just couldn't stand here and not know what was going on and why! Phoenix: Yes, fic!me, go in while they're having sex and ask them "What're you doing!?" Edgeworth: Wright, please! Phoenix: What? We all know what the fic's implying. Quote: He hurriedly reached for the unlocked knob, clasped his other hand over his eyes – just in case there was something sensual he shouldn't have in his mind forever, and then it was all in a rush of shock and curiosity when he burst in uninvited. Phoenix: Eh, might as well die knowing. Franziska: Now that you know, can I make it happen? Quote: "Wright?!" "What the hell?!" Edgeworth: Sounds like a proper reaction to me. Franziska: Agreed. Quote: Phoenix was torn between staying there and looking at the context that went missing, or hurrying to leave and pretend that he never heard even the slightest peep from the inside of the office. He waited for several seconds, trying to give them a chance to get into a more modest position compared to what he just knew they had been wrapped up in. Phoenix: Modest position? After what I just heard? Nah... Quote: But strangely. . .he didn't hear anyone move, put on clothes, or say anything else. Confused, Phoenix slowly peeled his palm away from his eyes. . .and the logic was suddenly stripped from the situation entirely. Phoenix: No, the logic was strip- *whip-crack* Franziska: Best not finish that, Phoenix Wright! Quote: SURPRISE! Miles and Franziska. . .they. . .they weren't doing anything sensual at all. Both were fully clothed, not looking even the slightest disheveled from intimate actions, and even more strangely – Miles was sitting at his desk staring at him with an equally confused expression. Franziska was leaning against the bookshelf looking over her whip and barely shifting her eyes to look in their invader's direction. Franziska: Wha- Edgeworth: Wha- Phoenix: I already knew this, not gonna continue the "What" chain. Quote: Were his eyes really as wide and his jaw as low as he assumed it to be? Because Phoenix was certain that he must have looked like a complete idiot in that moment. Franziska: Not to worry. I think we have both seen enough of those "moments" to be quite familiar with the sight. Quote: When their intruder didn't make an explanation for his presence, Miles took the hint that something had to be said to break the ice. He cleared his throat and then rather calmly inquired him, "Wright, do you need something? You seem to be in a rush." Phoenix: Why, yes, allow me to explain. Ahem, I heard you two having sex and making out while I was eavesdropping behind that door that keeps sounds out as well as a wet paper bag. Franziska: Oh well, it was most likely just the TV. Phoenix: (I don't think she realizes what she just said...) Quote: "Uh. . .well. . .I-I. . ." What was he supposed to say? What? Phoenix leaned upright again and then he tried with a struggle, but did manage to reply, "I can't remember why I'm here in the first place. It was something important. . .I think. Uh. . .what are you two doing?" Franziska: Then I whipped you, hard, and you passed out. The end. *Lights turn on* Phoenix: Wait, that was it? *Lights dim* Edgeworth: Argh, learn to keep your mouth shut! *Whip-crack* Phoenix: YEAAAAHHOOOWWWW!! Franziska: We were almost free! Quote: Miles and Franziska exchanged totally calm, blank expressions that spelled out their lack of understanding to his random appearance. Edgeworth: He's done and said stranger things in my office, believe me. Quote: "Not that I was listening in or anything, but I overheard. . .something going on in here." Phoenix added nervously after several more seconds, he then tried to laugh and act as if he wasn't being a complete idiot. Edgeworth: I believe what you described was "eavesdropping" and you are a partial idiot sometimes. Franziska: Sometimes? All the time he's a foolish fool who will foolishly cheat his way to a "Not guilty"! Phoenix: (Says the woman who tried to silence a witness.) Quote: "Fool! Are you hearing things?" Franziska randomly exclaimed, now giving him a less than blissful look. Yeah, she was ticked off now. "I merely took a few seconds out of my day to come here and find out if my talent has been understood – it's no different than every work day." "That's true, I can always count down the seconds when you burst in with the whip ready." Miles promptly deadpanned, eyes shifting to Franziska's direction. And when she rotated around and gave him her ticked off face, he reached for some papers and focused his attention on that. Franziska: *readies whip* Edgeworth: *groan* *Whip-crack* Edgeworth: Aaagh! Phoenix: You asked for it. Quote: Meanwhile, as lovely as that scene was, Phoenix really felt disturbed. He KNEW he heard something – and it was in no way a discussion about someone's talent with prosecuting! They were freaking SENSUAL just a few moments ago, he was sure of it! Phoenix: Yeah, how did you pull it off, Edgeworth? Edgeworth: What are you talking about? Phoenix: That whip, peeled from Franziska's hand. Quote: Weakly, Phoenix tried to insist that they were previously getting intimate. His expression changed to that of disappointment, strangely. "Y-you two were not discussing that. I swore I heard you. . .you know. . .Edgeworth, you were dominating. . .and the kissing sounds. . ." Phoenix: You were playing Counter-Strike? Edgeworth: ...What? Phoenix: It says you were "dominating". Edgeworth: Wright, it's just a common everyday word. And that voice clip is from Unreal Tournament, you know. Phoenix: How do you know that? Edgeworth: Erm, uh, common knowledge... Quote: "I have no idea what you're referring to." Miles promptly admitted, shaking his head and then acting as if he was told of a very stupid story that no one cared about. Franziska: I'd call that an accurate description if ever there was one. Quote: Almost immediately, Franziska approached Phoenix and they found themselves eye to eye. He cringed and watched as she smiled smugly and wagged finger in that way she did. "Tell me you're not loosing your mind before our next little battle, Phoenix Wright. We were simply conversing, there was nothing more to it – this is something you cannot prove otherwise." Franziska: Yes, don't lose it yet, I don't want it to be too easy for me to win. Even though I seem to suffer from a temporary inability to speak proper English. Quote: "But-but the SOUNDS. . ." "Are you trying to test my patience? It's more than a little foolish, even for you. . ." Edgeworth: Too foolish for Wright? I have to disagree. Franziska: So do I. Phoenix: (Why do you hate me so...?) Quote: ---Edgeworth and von Karma kick Phoenix out of the office--- Quote: As soon as the last footstep faded, Miles felt like he approved of it. He peeled himself away from the door and then began to approach an awaiting Franziska. "We pulled it off successfully." Wait, what?! Edgeworth: Is the fic questioning itself? Not that I could blame it... Quote: Franziska felt herself almost smile impishly. . .almost. . .she managed to cover that up with a fake frustrated expression. "I told you it was the perfect plan, he'll never catch on now." Franziska: ..? Catch on to what? Phoenix: I dunno, theres nothing to catch on to... Edgeworth: This is stupid... Quote: "Although I can't say I approve of messing with his mind," Miles began to approach her even more, the two were in proximity soon and he could say he approved of that. "It's too soon to let anyone know of our true relationship. That act should throw Wright off, you did sound convincing when pretending to be dominated." Edgeworth: Relationship? Phoenix: Counter-Strike? *Whip-Crack* Quote: "And I have to admit. . .the kissing sounds wouldn't have been convincing if you hadn't joined in." Franziska slowly admitted, nervously letting her eyes flicker all over the room. . .except in Miles' direction. She randomly pulled at her whip a little, trying not to seem too affected by the mood. "You enjoyed that, Miles Edgeworth." Phoenix: So they pretended to kiss...by...kissing... on the off-chance that specifically I would be at that specific door at that specific time? *Explosion* Edgeworth: Agh, my truth bar! Phoenix: I was starting to wonder what kept you so long. Quote: "Well, it had to be done." Miles was prompt in replying, sounding very calm about it as if he had been waiting to say that. He pretended to be worn out, faking it by sighing and flicking the imaginary perspiration from his temples. "After such a performance, there's only one result from that. If you know what I'm implying. . ." Edgeworth: I've stopped caring. Phoenix: Same. Franziska: As have I. Phoenix: Wanna talk about something else? Edgeworth: Such as? Phoenix: Counter-Strike? Edgeworth: Drop the Counter-Strike!! Quote: "Fool, of course I do. A von Karma ALWAYS knows a cue, even before it surfaces." Franziska bitterly murmured. Only a few seconds afterward, she raised her head and gazed at Miles. She revealed the almost fond smile that crept over her lips. Franziska: Agh, I am not enjoying this! Edgeworth: It seems Franziska can't drop this... Phoenix: It must be hard... Quote: And she was very prompt in giving in to that cue that has become an everyday thing. She rushed closer and then strongly locked her arms around Miles' helpless neck, you can probably guess what happened next. Yeah, Miles remained unmoving with a sense of totally wanting this to happen, Edgeworth: I believe the correct term is "defensive immobility". Quote: whilst Franziska captured his lips with her own and captured him with nary a sign of mercy. But somehow, the fact there was no mercy was fine with Miles. Yes, this was just fine in this mind. He was quick to relax instantly and let his eyes close as he returned her sign of affection – just not with as much strength as she did, he could never match the fierceness she put into it. Phoenix: Ya know what, I'm just gonna be quiet. Edgeworth: Same. *grabs bottle of water* Speakers: Hey! Where did that come from? The management would like to inform you that the consumption of refreshments not provided by the management is not permitted! We're trying to run a movie theater here! Franziska: ... Quote: Honestly, that was hot. He could have at least attempted to dominate her, but this felt too good to put a stop to. She always wanted to be the one leading, she seemed to get more excitement out of it when that was the case. Edgeworth: *Spits out water* Quote: Now they could finally begin what they intended to start this morning. It wasn't like they were against a relationship, but Franziska was the one who feared it wouldn't be good for their reputations if they were discovered to be attracted to each other romantically. Miles was the one who came up with the plan to screw around with the head of whomever was about to walk in – judging by the reaction of his old friend, Miles knew this would work well. . .he was like an internet troll in that sense. Little by little, the kiss evolved from simplicity. And it all began when Miles lost his senses just momentarily, he did so long enough to wrap his arms at the spine-level and prepared to deepen this by leading her along the floor over to somewhere nice to sit and get 'cozy'. Edgeworth: "Wrap his arms at the spine-level"? In what, wrapping paper? Quote: It wasn't long before they were near the couch-area. And Franziska cracked an eye open, noticing this. Only slightly, her lips retreated as they cracked the hint of a most sly smile – she knew what she was doing. Once hand retreated to reach for the whip. Franziska: This is a very good idea. Phoenix: (So where did she keep it, if not in her hand?) Quote: Miles realized she was stopping a little, he had the feeling of what was coming. . .so he made it a little easier by backing up slightly and letting his hands retreat at the same time. "Why are you stopping? We still have twenty minutes to ourselves and-" There was another crack of the whip, and this time. . .Miles gazed down at his hands. She just captured his hands within that freaking whip. Well, it certainly wasn't the first time. Those marks wouldn't be a problem, if this was leading to what Miles was pleasantly surprised to see incoming. "Miles Edgeworth, sometimes you need to shut up and allow me to have my way." Franziska scolded him, leaning closer to further interest him by giving that sly smile combined with bedroom eyes that were reserved for him only these days. "Behave, and this will last more than the usual twenty minutes." Phoenix: I'm sure she timed that on her cell phone. Quote: "Well, even someone in my position has a wild side." "I'm not convinced." Phoenix: Neither am I, unless we define his "wild side" as frustrated shouting when things don't go his way. Edgeworth: Which might well be the case here. Quote: "I will admit, you've every right to not believe it." No more words were said after that, Miles felt it was necessary to play along. He shut his mouth, only temporarily because he claimed a seat on the couch with Franziska claiming his lips again and falling into his lap along the way. SLAM! Franziska: What's with this choice of sound effect? *Screen-whip* Phoenix: (Looks like "someone" is being sensitive about her weight.) Quote: The door flew open as if the situation was serious. None other than Detective Gumshoe entered the scene, looking both distressed and fearful of what consequences were in store. "Mr. Edgeworth, I'm so sorry I'm late! You see, my alarm clock isn't easy to set and so I didn't. . ." All distress and fear was forgotten when Gumshoe fully noticed the scene he had burst in on. The two occupiers of the room hurriedly pulled themselves out of their snogging session and gazed at him, truly startled. "Oh, uh. . .am I interrupting something again?" Phoenix: They should try giving us interesting things to make jokes about... Quote: It wasn't every day when he saw Miles and Franziska looking rather disheveled as they hurriedly entangled themselves from what he assumed was a steamy moment. Edgeworth: I doubt that getting even more entangled than they already are will solve the problem. I'd suggest trying to untangle instead. Quote: The room fell into silence, all three trying to calm down and not make too much of a scene. . .keep it together. . .think of something to say – just so it wouldn't be remembered as TOO MUCH of an awkward moment. Fortunately, Gumshoe thought of something to say. Unfortunately, this was Gumshoe. He gasped with awe and then looked rather happy as he asked; "So the rumors that have been spreading all over the building are true?" Edgeworth: I wonder who could have possibly spread these "rumors". Phoenix: Hey, don't blame me. Blame yourselves for loudly making out in your office and leaving the door unlocked. Quote: Whilst Miles and Franziska just gawked at him, his chest swelled with pride as he gazed skyward for dramatic effect. "I believed them." So what happened to everyone after this awkwardness, you may wonder? Well, the courtroom drama had eventually proceeded on with the Not Guilty verdict given. Franziska: What a pathetic attempt at a transition. Try harder! *Screen-whip* Quote: Although, throughout the last trial, Phoenix kept recalling the incident he almost walked in on every time he looked Franziska in the eye. The Judge assumed he was merely checking her out, claiming that this wasn't the proper time for those kind of thoughts. The typical celebrations were made after this victory. It was during this time when things were discovered. For one thing, Phoenix kept accidentally leaving behind the bill his therapist entrusted him with. Phoenix: Well, if I had a therapist, I would absolutely "accidentally" leave the bill for Franziska to pay after what the two of you did to me in this fic. Quote: He seriously was starting to believe that all of the craziness he worked with was getting to him. Franziska tracked down where these 'rumors' began, she found that it was merely a repairman whom had once walked in on her and Miles having a romantic-type exchange. Phoenix: So you had been setting up this sort of act for a while even before I finally walked into your trap. Quote: This man was forgiven – by her whip. Franziska: After I put it to good use, of course. Quote: Miles looked into the salary of Detective Gumshoe after he decided it was okay to casually tell people they didn't have to talk about the couple behind their backs. Edgeworth: Only after that? Now I know this isn't me. Quote: As for Gumshoe, he feared that it would take a lot of work to be able to afford the silverware for his meal. It 'twas but a price to pay for him, he was just relieved that everything would return to normal. Phoenix: Or as normal as it gets for us, I guess. Quote: It's too bad that they lived in the world where nothing could ever be considered normal. Phoenix: Hey, don't steal my comments! Edgeworth: I thought you had read the script? So it's actually you stealing the fic's comment. Franziska: How unoriginal of you, Phoenix Wright. Quote: The End~ Phoenix: Oh god, it's done. Edgeworth: This was really... something. I'm glad we just skimmed through most of it. Franziska: As am I. Phoenix: Oh yeah, Franziska? Franziska: Yes? Phoenix: You've been really calm toward the end. Something up? Franziska: Huh? Oh, nothing... Edgeworth: We'd best not question it. Even though she's calm now, her inner viciousness is the same. Phoenix: Good point. (Which reminds me, I've gotta go grab burgers on my way back to the office - Maya hasn't been feeling too great this week...) [The sporkers leave the theater, another spork is over.] Speakers: ...And so we are left with the question: Will somebody more competent replace that door already and take down that darned new trap without shooting themselves in the process? Will somebody take care of that dirty floor? Well, I guess we'll have to find out next time. -NOW GET TO IT BEFORE THE BIG GUYS COME IN AND TEAR US TO PIECES! GO! Tell the security guys to help you with the doors! And turn off the speakers before you leave! |
Author: | Pessimistic_Fool [ Sun Sep 22, 2013 2:52 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Ah good, I see you figured out how to copy the quote tags. :) (Sorry, I was asleep when you pm'ed me.) I'm still surprised how fast you were with your part. You had so many good ideas rightaway. |
Author: | Builderkid107 [ Sun Sep 22, 2013 6:40 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Pessimistic_Fool wrote: Ah good, I see you figured out how to copy the quote tags. :) (Sorry, I was asleep when you pm'ed me.) I'm still surprised how fast you were with your part. You had so many good ideas rightaway. I was making parts while reading the fic |
Author: | Rubia Ryu the Royal [ Sun Sep 22, 2013 10:58 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
...Not bad for a first-timer. I can't say I've had the actual experience to do a spork myself, but I've read plenty enough, and this style of writing fits right in. Nice job implementing a new trap in the theater. (Unfortunately, school is going to resume tomorrow and I won't have nearly as much time for our co-spork. I can, however, do a little critique, review and proofreading if they'll help.) To be honest, I didn't like all that much how Neni began to include original characters in that 2-part piece. Her writing is good; I've read part of A Complete Turnabout, and it's got a steady rhythm going. Yet, the nature of sporking is to avoid falling into that gray area between fanfiction and otherwise. If we're going to criticize fanfiction, we don't want to sound like hypocrites. Besides, the Management already encompasses a major part of the rising internal conflict. At some point, though, someone should up the ante on the war between official and unofficial parties. A conflict isn't much good without a resolution. ...So, uh, nice weather we're having here, eh? |
Author: | Builderkid107 [ Sun Sep 22, 2013 11:33 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Rubia Silve Ryu wrote: ...Not bad for a first-timer. I can't say I've had the actual experience to do a spork myself, but I've read plenty enough, and this style of writing fits right in. Nice job implementing a new trap in the theater. (Unfortunately, school is going to resume tomorrow and I won't have nearly as much time for our co-spork. I can, however, do a little critique, review and proofreading if they'll help.) To be honest, I didn't like all that much how Neni began to include original characters in that 2-part piece. Her writing is good; I've read part of A Complete Turnabout, and it's got a steady rhythm going. Yet, the nature of sporking is to avoid falling into that gray area between fanfiction and otherwise. If we're going to criticize fanfiction, we don't want to sound like hypocrites. Besides, the Management already encompasses a major part of the rising internal conflict. At some point, though, someone should up the ante on the war between official and unofficial parties. A conflict isn't much good without a resolution. ...So, uh, nice weather we're having here, eh? I'm not about to take all the credit, that's not who I am, I am giving 2/3 of the credit to...Pessimistic_fool. Me: -I read the fic -I produced a rough draft -Wrote some dialogue Her: -Read it -Produced more dialogue -Fixed the spelling errors, lines. -Wrote Franziska (Yeesh, she IS hard to write...) -Intro -Ending So, I'm not taking a whole lot of credit. (I should've started on a shorter one, 5,659 is not my idea of fun...) |
Author: | Pessimistic_Fool [ Sun Sep 22, 2013 11:41 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Aw come on, I didn't write Franziska, we both did. And I was mostly going with the tone you set for her, I just rephrased a few things to work better. If you don't count things like quote brackets and spaces, you wrote at least half of the spork. |
Author: | Builderkid107 [ Sun Sep 22, 2013 11:46 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Pessimistic_Fool wrote: Aw come on, I didn't write Franziska, we both did. And I was mostly going with the tone you set for her, I just rephrased a few things to work better. If you don't count things like quote brackets and spaces, you wrote at least half of the spork. Yeah, I guess you're right, but we can all agree, she's a pain in the whip to write, amirite? |
Author: | Builderkid107 [ Mon Sep 23, 2013 7:01 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
I doubt it, but has anyone done this yet? http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4659121/1/Bath-Time It's really not that bad, but I can come up with some good material for it. (It was in the fanfic contest on C-R.net, im gonna get some flack for this one...) |
Author: | Pessimistic_Fool [ Mon Sep 23, 2013 8:06 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
No, I don't think it was done yet. |
Author: | Builderkid107 [ Mon Sep 23, 2013 8:26 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Pessimistic_Fool wrote: No, I don't think it was done yet. Cool, I'll get right on it. Also, I have a request to any artists, for a small piece of art that you could maybe to for...free. If you accept, pm me. |
Author: | WrightBrother [ Fri Dec 20, 2013 5:49 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
builderkid107 wrote: Pessimistic_Fool wrote: No, I don't think it was done yet. Cool, I'll get right on it. Also, I have a request to any artists, for a small piece of art that you could maybe to for...free. If you accept, pm me. builderkid107, were you still planning on sporking the above fanfic? If not, I'd like to take a shot at it for my first sporking :) Let me know! ~WB |
Author: | Builderkid107 [ Fri Dec 20, 2013 5:58 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
WrightBrother wrote: builderkid107 wrote: Pessimistic_Fool wrote: No, I don't think it was done yet. Cool, I'll get right on it. Also, I have a request to any artists, for a small piece of art that you could maybe to for...free. If you accept, pm me. builderkid107, were you still planning on sporking the above fanfic? If not, I'd like to take a shot at it for my first sporking :) Let me know! ~WB Which fanfic? |
Author: | Pessimistic_Fool [ Fri Dec 20, 2013 10:41 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
The one you were talking about a few posts up. ;) Copy-pasting the link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4659121/1/Bath-Time If I understand correctly, it was written by some member(s) of the forum? This might be a problem, because the author isn't supposed to know that their fic has been sporked. But if we loosen up on this rule, then you should be a bit careful and make sure not to offend the person(s) who wrote the fic. You could let them read it before posting it, I guess? |
Author: | Builderkid107 [ Fri Dec 20, 2013 8:34 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Pessimistic_Fool wrote: The one you were talking about a few posts up. ;) Copy-pasting the link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4659121/1/Bath-Time If I understand correctly, it was written by some member(s) of the forum? This might be a problem, because the author isn't supposed to know that their fic has been sporked. But if we loosen up on this rule, then you should be a bit careful and make sure not to offend the person(s) who wrote the fic. You could let them read it before posting it, I guess? That sounds about right, that'd probably be the best course of action...or we just don't do it. |
Author: | WrightBrother [ Mon Dec 23, 2013 7:16 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
builderkid107 wrote: Pessimistic_Fool wrote: The one you were talking about a few posts up. ;) Copy-pasting the link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4659121/1/Bath-Time If I understand correctly, it was written by some member(s) of the forum? This might be a problem, because the author isn't supposed to know that their fic has been sporked. But if we loosen up on this rule, then you should be a bit careful and make sure not to offend the person(s) who wrote the fic. You could let them read it before posting it, I guess? That sounds about right, that'd probably be the best course of action...or we just don't do it. I'm quite sure I could write it without offending the original author. That is, if you still do not plan on writing it :) |
Author: | Builderkid107 [ Mon Dec 23, 2013 7:48 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
WrightBrother wrote: builderkid107 wrote: Pessimistic_Fool wrote: The one you were talking about a few posts up. ;) Copy-pasting the link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4659121/1/Bath-Time If I understand correctly, it was written by some member(s) of the forum? This might be a problem, because the author isn't supposed to know that their fic has been sporked. But if we loosen up on this rule, then you should be a bit careful and make sure not to offend the person(s) who wrote the fic. You could let them read it before posting it, I guess? That sounds about right, that'd probably be the best course of action...or we just don't do it. I'm quite sure I could write it without offending the original author. That is, if you still do not plan on writing it :) Well, this is something I'm in the gra/ey zone about.... Go ahead, my friend. |
Author: | Glacius [ Wed Dec 25, 2013 12:07 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
All these sporks are awesome! I've been wondering for quite a while. Is it possible to add in Dual Destinies characters into these sporks without spoilers? Cause I haven't seen anybody use them yet. |
Author: | Builderkid107 [ Wed Dec 25, 2013 12:21 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
Glacius wrote: All these sporks are awesome! I've been wondering for quite a while. Is it possible to add in Dual Destinies characters into these sporks without spoilers? Cause I haven't seen anybody use them yet. I would recommend not doing a Dual Destinies spork for a wile longer, as the game has only been out for about 3-4 months, some people haven't played it. But some people might be getting it for Christmas, so we'll see. Just hold off for now, 'kay? |
Author: | Pessimistic_Fool [ Wed Dec 25, 2013 2:34 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction! |
I'd say if somebody has really good ideas for them, go ahead and write it, but put it under a very clearly marked spoiler tag. I mean, that's what I'd do for them even for a while after the year is over. You never know how long it may take some to obtain or play the game. |
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