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Dataman's fanfictionTopic%20Title

One hyperactive finn.

Gender: Male

Rank: Desk Jockey

Joined: Wed Oct 17, 2012 2:05 pm

Posts: 77

I wrote some of this stuff, and well, it doesn't hurt to post it here.

This is one very short one, and my first fanfiction ever.
Spoiler:
Edgeworth smiled. He smiled happily behind the glass.
He had been for less than a week in that small room. Little humming came through walls, and the whole room swung calmly. Clouds were slowly flowing outside little windows.
He still smiled.
A picture always smiles.
"Good night", Rhoda whispered, and switched off the lamp.
Re: Dataman's fanfictionTopic%20Title
User avatar

Prolific Writer

Gender: Male

Rank: Medium-in-training

Joined: Tue Dec 20, 2011 5:34 pm

Posts: 305

Um, that's a good start, I guess? As a general rule of thumb, fanfics tend to be about 1000 words or more (unless you're delving into poetry or something similar). If you're planning on doing more with this, great. But if not, what's stopping you? :yuusaku:
Some call me eccentric. I call myself creative.
My Fanfiction
My Fan Trial, Spirit's Turnabout
Re: Dataman's fanfictionTopic%20Title

One hyperactive finn.

Gender: Male

Rank: Desk Jockey

Joined: Wed Oct 17, 2012 2:05 pm

Posts: 77

I will be writing more, and this was just the first one. This story's idea was not to be so long, it would have ruined the idea. I will write longer ones soon.

If you mean making this one longer, I can't catch the reason. I think there is no need to longer story when it has said everything it was supposed to. :phoenix:
Re: Dataman's fanfictionTopic%20Title
User avatar

Prolific Writer

Gender: Male

Rank: Medium-in-training

Joined: Tue Dec 20, 2011 5:34 pm

Posts: 305

~Dataman~ wrote:
I will be writing more, and this was just the first one. This story's idea was not to be so long, it would have ruined the idea. I will write longer ones soon.

If you mean making this one longer, I can't catch the reason. I think there is no need to longer story when it has said everything it was supposed to. :phoenix:


You may think it doesn't need to be longer, but trust me, it does. This isn't a complete story, I'm sorry.

You have the Who (Rhoda), the What (the picture of Edgeworth), and the Where (Rhoda's bedroom, presumably), but you don't have the When (I'm still not sure when this is taking place. You say "less than a week has passed", but you don't get anymore specific) or the Why (Why does Rhoda have that picture on her nightstand? How does she feel about Edgeworth? etc.). If you want to make this a purely introspective story, fine. But you still have to answer those questions.
Some call me eccentric. I call myself creative.
My Fanfiction
My Fan Trial, Spirit's Turnabout
Re: Dataman's fanfictionTopic%20Title

One hyperactive finn.

Gender: Male

Rank: Desk Jockey

Joined: Wed Oct 17, 2012 2:05 pm

Posts: 77

Hmm... You are right. I will make different version.
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