Prolific Writer
Gender: Male
Rank: Medium-in-training
Joined: Tue Dec 20, 2011 5:34 pm
Posts: 305
~Dataman~ wrote:
I will be writing more, and this was just the first one. This story's idea was not to be so long, it would have ruined the idea. I will write longer ones soon.
If you mean making this one longer, I can't catch the reason. I think there is no need to longer story when it has said everything it was supposed to.
You may
think it doesn't need to be longer, but trust me, it does. This isn't a complete story, I'm sorry.
You have the Who (Rhoda), the What (the picture of Edgeworth), and the Where (Rhoda's bedroom, presumably), but you don't have the When (I'm still not sure when this is taking place. You say "less than a week has passed", but you don't get anymore specific) or the Why (Why does Rhoda have that picture on her nightstand? How does she feel about Edgeworth? etc.). If you want to make this a purely introspective story, fine. But you still have to answer those questions.