Funny things your teacher has said?
Proud PxM shipper.
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Teacher: Petifile!
_____________________________________________________________________________________
*different teacher*
Teacher: Okay, we're going to read a poem in class tomorrow. "Roses are red, violets are black, you'd look good with a knife in your back".
_____________________________________________________________________________________
*Same teacher as the second one*
*Kids are watching boring video.*
Kids: We don't wanna watch this!
*Teacher turns it off and stands in front of class*
Teacher: Quit your bitching and moaning!
Click sig to go to my sig thread. If you would like one, you may request. Devoted Phoenix and Maya shipper. Also a Diego and Mia shipper.My fanfic thread. Law, Lust, and Coffee currently ongoing (Miego).
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
One K, one R, two V's. Gawd.
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Kid 1: Hey! I just got new shoes!
Kid2: Really? mine are better.
K1: I think we have the same shoe size!
*shoe swap*
*about five minutes later, five kids have mismatched shoes*
k1: Hey! Mr. D.! What's your shoe size?
Mr. D.: You aren't touching my shoes!
k2: Come onnnnn, this is what guys do in their free time!
Mr D: Not the straight ones!
K1+2: D:
Married to Don- Mom to Obby, Wassa, Gavinner, and someone whose name starts with a C... :P
Comics Updated August 13th
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Ask about my avatar for a chilling story
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Me: ...Franziska's long lost music teacher? o.O
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Smooth operator
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Platoon Commander-Attention on Deck!
ROTC instructor-Oh hello there coach, we were just talking about head!
In the Navy head=bathroom
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
I'm in your skies; raeping your balloons
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"You...you draw...you draw half-price!"
He showed us hi webpage where the first image on-screen was of him naked with two other naked ladies. That was our first day meeting him too...
------------------------------------------------------
*Science teacher from Secondary school days*
"The rise of the D-cup chicken!"
"She's a pillar! Follow her pillar!" (referring to a classmate)
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Proud PxM shipper.
Gender: Female
Location: A dark scary place with enchanted creatures.
Rank: Ace Attorney
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Posts: 1516
Teacher: I'm sorry we didn't have a Euro sale this quarter. But, when I went to the store, I had to get the Christmas collar for my dog Sophie. See, when Sophie sits on my lap and licks my face, I just can't resist. But, the problem is, you guys don't sit on my lap and lick my face.
Click sig to go to my sig thread. If you would like one, you may request. Devoted Phoenix and Maya shipper. Also a Diego and Mia shipper.My fanfic thread. Law, Lust, and Coffee currently ongoing (Miego).
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
ケーキたん（仮）
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Posts: 1383
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
GearsoftheApparatus
He was also balding in his early 20s. :)
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
A Kodac moment.
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Posts: 349
Mr. D: "I really hate having to be Moses every time I walk down this aisle."
Everyone loves our science teacher! =)
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
offer. cookies. now.
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....everyone was staring like about this: O_O.....*silence*
--------------------------------------------------
my old chemistry teacher when asked what he was doing when he was sitting at his desk writing something and grinning: "I'm just trying to find new ways to screw you kids up =D"
-----------------------------------------
my old maths teacher (he was the best ^^"): "Maths? oh! that is (complicated)^3 ! ....so... really easy! =D"
or one day when we entered the classroom...
maths teacher: *is hugging the blackboard*
student: "...sir... why are you doing that?"
he: "well... if I don't, this happens! =D" *lets go and the entire thing collapses*
or he when asked by two kids if they could check his room at school: "NO! god no! if they find out I've been smoking in there I'll be BANNED! D= " *slams the door in their faces*
...he told us that if either his wife or his bad smoking habit had to go.... it'd be his wife...
-----------------------------------------------------------------
...and our physics teacher today yelling at two guys: "Simon! get your hand out of Onno's lap and pay attention!"
sig by Jibo <3 (a.k.a. the best person ever, yup!)
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Do you see the black one...or the white?
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On April 3, 2016, Court Records Forums experienced a miracle upon that day.
I feel the same
CatMuto wrote:
Pierre wrote:
Man...that looks dull...this actually makes me worried for KH3 (since that team worked on the battle system)
I feel the same
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
The girl who's kicking the coke machine
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Yes, it's un PC. No, I don't care. XD He's pretty funny overall, actually.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Gender: None specified
Rank: Ace Attorney
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Posts: 2155
It's my biology/geography teacher. He is pretty weird and it sometimes feels like being on a stand up club while on his classes. He has really started blabbin about how Poland lies to get money from the European Union while speaking about space. That went on for 30 minutes. One time he was talking about winds and started to talk how people get mad at Riviera and start to chase eachother with knives running circles around houses at the same time. He is a weird fella.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Proud PxM shipper.
Gender: Female
Location: A dark scary place with enchanted creatures.
Rank: Ace Attorney
Joined: Wed Sep 05, 2007 2:03 am
Posts: 1516
Teacher: If my wife was with you, she'd stab you right in the heart after the first 5 minutes.
Click sig to go to my sig thread. If you would like one, you may request. Devoted Phoenix and Maya shipper. Also a Diego and Mia shipper.My fanfic thread. Law, Lust, and Coffee currently ongoing (Miego).
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
A Kodac moment.
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Joined: Mon Mar 05, 2007 7:26 pm
Posts: 349
"In which direction does friction go? And if you get this wrong, I'm going to throw you out the window."
It wouldn't really matter since we're on the first floor, but...
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
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So, our music teacher was giving us a mini-lecture on how when we play the notes on the page, it brings them to life, and how we created them, and how they exist in our universe, blah blah blah. So we start the scale, only we didn't start together, so he stopped us and got us in position to start again. Before we started, he said "Now lets make life together." Which, due to our sick, perverted minds, sounded wrong. We all start cracking up, and have to stop again and restart. It doesn't sound that funny typed out, but it was hilarious when it happened...I swear.
"Last daughter of your royal house/ Go I, his prisoner, because I honoured/ Those things to which honour truly belongs." Antigone, Antigone.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Faith is for the transient people.
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Proud supporter of Phoenix/Iris, past, present and future
Thank you Elriel! :D
Thank you Elriel! :D
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
The girl who's kicking the coke machine
Gender: Female
Location: England. Land of the RAIN~
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Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Gender: Male
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Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Speed up, n00b
Gender: Male
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Posts: 83
------------
(A cop visits the class)
Cop: Alright, let's say this ruler is a knife. Imagine that this is in alley, and I attack you and demands your money. What will you do?
Kid: Pick up an metal pole and fight back.
Cop: Come on, how often are there metal poles lying on the ground?
Kid: How often are you attack by someone with a ruler?
--------------------
(The WoW-addicted chemistry teacher)
CT: Come on, your doing it as if you were an lvl 7 paladin. Do it right.
---------------------
(Computer-teacher, just before ending an lesson where the class should had done a test. Everyone practiced for it just before the class started also)
T: Oh right, we must plan that test. Let's see, how about thursday?
Class: OK
T: Alright, i'll just write it*picks up a notebok* what... we were supposed to have that test today. Did anyone of you remember it?
Class*all look at eachother before anwsering*:No.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Teh insane Arteest
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"Blahblahblah AND REMEMBER! The Force is with you, always!"
He's really funny and VERY enthusiastic about everything :P Some people complain about how hyper he can be.
Also, my English teacher is HILARIOUS, but for some reason no quotes come to mind. Maybe I should record one of his lectures someday.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Proud PxM shipper.
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Rank: Ace Attorney
Joined: Wed Sep 05, 2007 2:03 am
Posts: 1516
Kid: Look in the shelf
ST: I just looked there *looks in shelf* Oh! There's one! And there's another one! And another one!
Click sig to go to my sig thread. If you would like one, you may request. Devoted Phoenix and Maya shipper. Also a Diego and Mia shipper.My fanfic thread. Law, Lust, and Coffee currently ongoing (Miego).
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
stirring
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Lord Wackruntlje wrote:
(A cop visits the class)
Cop: Alright, let's say this ruler is a knife. Imagine that this is in alley, and I attack you and demands your money. What will you do?
Kid: Pick up an metal pole and fight back.
Cop: Come on, how often are there metal poles lying on the ground?
Kid: How often are you attack by someone with a ruler?
Cop: Alright, let's say this ruler is a knife. Imagine that this is in alley, and I attack you and demands your money. What will you do?
Kid: Pick up an metal pole and fight back.
Cop: Come on, how often are there metal poles lying on the ground?
Kid: How often are you attack by someone with a ruler?
Uh, dude. That's not funny. My brother died that way.
If you come across an older post of mine, sowwy
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
fwee
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Learn your trig identities kids.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Struck by a blunt objection
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Anyhow, I tend to get into some rather heated, and loud, arguments with my math teachers. Of the 5 math teachers I've had, I've gotten into loud discussions with 4 of them. Its always fun to put a teacher in the position in which they have to defend their teaching with "but the book says so!".
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Gender: None specified
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Posts: 29
Angelswings wrote:
or one day when we entered the classroom...
maths teacher: *is hugging the blackboard*
student: "...sir... why are you doing that?"
he: "well... if I don't, this happens! =D" *lets go and the entire thing collapses*
maths teacher: *is hugging the blackboard*
student: "...sir... why are you doing that?"
he: "well... if I don't, this happens! =D" *lets go and the entire thing collapses*
ROFL.
I'm a very different case. All my life I was in a private school or home schooled, but I had the same curriculum. All my teachers were on a video or dvd. Once in fourth grade, my English teacher was pacing about the room talking about something, and it instantly cut out then cut back in to her standing there facing the camera. Then she says something like:
"We're sorry about that, some of the students here in the class suddenly said that I had stepped in marshmellows and I did."
...Then she just goes right back to what she was talking about.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Part of the Elventh Commandment.
Gender: None specified
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Joined: Tue Nov 20, 2007 6:49 pm
Posts: 1
Class: ....
Mr. H: So, who can tell me how to get past the net proxy on the computers so I can go on Facebook?
Class: !!!
Girl: *lists off a site*
Mr H: Sweet. *tosses her a chocolate bar*
----
Mr. H: Why dont any of you laugh at my jokes? ;__;
Kid 1: Cuz they aren't funny.
Mr. H: ....
Me: Or they're badly timed.
Mr. H: . . .
Kid 2: Wait, you make jokes?
Mr. H: Okay, thats it. *leaves class*
Class: ... o.O
Mr. H: *returns with a chocolate bar*
Class: O.o
Mr. H: What? Chocolate fixes everything. Including broken dreams ;_; I always wanted to be a comedian.
Class: LAWL
Mr. H: OH SURE, NOW IM FUNNY EH??? >O
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Lives in a box mansion
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Mr.O: *in current events enrichment* Okay, okay, I got one. YO MOMMA IS SO FAT, SHE GOT MO' CHINS THAN A CHINESE PHONE BOOK. OH!
And the conversation leading to that began on dramatic arts.
Oh, yeah, and science class last year:
Mrs. C: Oh, and because X chromosomes are higher in likelihood than Ys, boys can be considered mutants.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Wild BLUETWO appeared!
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RazeTora wrote:
Mrs. C: Oh, and because X chromosomes are higher in likelihood than Ys, boys can be considered mutants.
The sad thing is that I think some people believe this.
Let's see... my American History teacher stated to one of our classmates that if he didn't change his attitude or behavior, he would eventually die in a bar fight. Luckily, it seems that student is now leaning toward the former.
My Apologetics teacher (ethics, religious studies, whatever you want to compare that to) has immense sarcasm powers. He's referred to Darwin as "Rap Master Chuckie D." multiple times. I believe we've spent an entire period just having off topic discussions from the get-go. I really love the class, though - you can actually ask questions about life as opposed to, "How does the fungi get its nutrients?"
No, I seriously don't have anything else to put here besides a link that gets me rewards when people click on it.
If you like video game music, it might actually be worth your while.
If you like video game music, it might actually be worth your while.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
offer. cookies. now.
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"oh!" *checks some site on his lap top* "looks like there's a special visitors day of the University of Utrecht on Friday!.."
class: "....."
he: "...say... Does ANYONE of you kids feel like going to school on Friday? cause I don't! come on, let's all go to the university together! my treat! oh! even better! we'll visit all the bars I used to go to when I studied there! and drink till we pass out drunk! oh wait... the university.. ehh.. if ANY of us remembers, we'll walk to the university after that to pay a short visit... singing and swaying on our legs! =D"
class: "O_o''..."
he: "YES! I will immediately sign up for it!" *starts typing wildly while mumbling to himself* "my name...name... how do I type my name ag-.... oh yeah... W-W-W-W-W-W-Woudman!! =D"
...he's really really hyper... heard from my friends that last time he spend a whole hour telling jokes about sex and alcohol
sig by Jibo <3 (a.k.a. the best person ever, yup!)
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
The foxy ladies can't resist my sandwich
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fuck
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Worthy's Girl. Den Mother. PxE Shipper
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My American Civil War History professor, Professor Palo.
I'm a HUGE military history fan and one of my top favourite Civil War battles is the First Battle of Bull Run--yes, I like battles. It always has been. I'm not really sure why although I suspect that Major Sullivan Ballou's letter to his wife, Sarah, that he wrote the week before the battle might have something to do with it. It NEVER fails to make me cry. He was killed in battle a week later, July 21st.
I took his Civil War class--there were 10 students in that class, including me and only 2 were female: me and my freshman year roommate (I was sans roommate from years 2-4).
Anyway, we were getting to what I lovingly termed the 'good stuff' (the Battle of First Bull Run-or First Manassas--which has ALWAYS been my top favourite Civil War battle. I was interested in the American Civil War and read up on it for 2 years before I went off to college). I looked at him when he came in that morning and said, "So. When are we going to get to the good stuff?"
He looked at me with quite a surprised look on his face. "The good stuff? The good stuff, according to you being blood, death, war and guts?!" (Emphasizing each word)
Without missing a beat I replied, "Yeah! When are we going to get to it?"
He just gave me a really weird look.
I thought it was funny.
------------------------------------
2. My freshman year Biology professor, Kevin Teather, was an attractive guy but I didn't drool over him like my fellow female students did (not surprisingly, the majority of the students who attended the class I took were mostly female). When we did a lab once, he really annoyed the hell out of me by standing behind me and looking over my shoulder for a few minutes; I didn't like that very much and I didn't care HOW good looking he was...he was invading my personal space. It bugged-and still does with strangers who get too close-the hell out of me since that person is invading my personal space and I am a bug about keeping it clear, particularly if they're strangers!
He said once that what he looked for in a girlfriend was hard teeth..and he was completely serious about it, too. His family--and he did, as well--have soft teeth so he wanted someone who had hard teeth for the next generation would have strong and not soft teeth.
Weirdest but also one of the funniest things I've ever heard.
------------------------------------------
3. My Religious Studies Professor, Dr. Sterling Bjorndahl (I attended a Lutheran college) that I had for my final year was AWESOME!!!! He was a hoot and a half!
I remember two close friends of mine that had taken his classes before spoke highly of him--what other professor do you know that refers to such things in class as Vogon poetry from HHG and the Lumberjack Song from Monty Python?!--so I took his Religious Studies class.
The first day, he was talking about something and then said "And, you know that to be a Lumberjack" and seg wayed right into the Lumberjack Song! How cool is that?!
Vogon Poetry also appeared in that class' final exam and I damn near laughed out loud when I saw that in the multiple choice section (I did when I saw my American Civil War class' final exam...right before it started. I got many a strange look and I was giggling throughout the exam as well.)
Kickin' AWESOME Sig By Elriel! Avatar Artwork by Enrychan (Commission)! Thanks! :)
"Bravo! Another triumph for deductive reasoning!"--SH (Michael Caine)
Last edited by EdgeworthFanGirl on Wed Nov 21, 2007 4:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Gender: Female
Location: Canada.
Rank: Desk Jockey
Joined: Fri May 11, 2007 12:11 am
Posts: 108
Well, he's a band teacher and he was teaching a piece of music called The Tempest. He said from measure 69 to the end was the trickiest part of the song, so he kept saying "69 to the end, 69 to the end, 69 to the end, 69 to the end!" He finally then shouted at the band, "I'll 69 you all!"
The class then burst into laughter, and he was completely oblivious. (He wasn't taught good family life matters, so yeah) Then a student came up to him and explained, then he was all "ohhhhh."
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Worthy's Girl. Den Mother. PxE Shipper
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Now THAT was funny! 
Kickin' AWESOME Sig By Elriel! Avatar Artwork by Enrychan (Commission)! Thanks! :)
"Bravo! Another triumph for deductive reasoning!"--SH (Michael Caine)
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Thank you, Trabz.
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Posts: 331
Nicky: Um, Mr. B (social studies teacher) is aesthetically pleasing.
Mrs. W: *walking across the hall into Mr. B's room* MR. BERNINGER! WE THINK YOU'RE AESTHETICALLY PLEASING!!!
Me: I think that she's the only teacher who's married and would say that to a person she's at least 15 years older than.
~*~
And this one isn't really a quote but my old science teacher would tell really corny jokes that were so corny, we laughed.
Thank you, Vickinator, for this very beautiful signature!
Wife to Takita and mother of Bleachlover, Lauren Order, and andrx. Anime Fever. You know you want to click it.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Meet you in the alley after court...
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Posts: 64
Mrs.J: Okay, let's say I'm going 100 in a school zone. Who's going to arrest me?
Class: The local police...
Mrs.J: Now while doing that, let's say I'm intoxicated and have an open keg of beer and ten kilos of cocaine in the passenger seat and a dead 13 year old in my trunk. NOW who's going to arrest me?
Class: ....D:
I also used to have an art teacher who would unintentionally say incredibly peverted things and accidnentally looked up ''melons'' on Google Images. She would always tell us that Santa Claus is dead. :[
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Proud PxM shipper.
Gender: Female
Location: A dark scary place with enchanted creatures.
Rank: Ace Attorney
Joined: Wed Sep 05, 2007 2:03 am
Posts: 1516
Click sig to go to my sig thread. If you would like one, you may request. Devoted Phoenix and Maya shipper. Also a Diego and Mia shipper.My fanfic thread. Law, Lust, and Coffee currently ongoing (Miego).
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Am I the only person who loves Athena?!
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.....
The time my Design Technology teacher misheard me when I said "I've had time off because I dislocated my knee" ...... He thought I had said neck...
How the hell do you dislocate your neck? And if it's possible, wouldn't that be fatal? O_o
........ Or my History teacher, talking to me:
"You will pass your exam."
... You're kidding, right?
Huh? What do you mean?
This is your best attempt at a sig?
Uh, yeah... You don't like? I like. I think you're just green with envy.
... You're an idiot.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Gender: Female
Rank: Medium-in-training
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Posts: 410
Although, I must say, Eternal Past's teacher was freakin' hilarious. I don't know if anyone can beat that out.
"Last daughter of your royal house/ Go I, his prisoner, because I honoured/ Those things to which honour truly belongs." Antigone, Antigone.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
AKA Dr. Bokchoy
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Posts: 3035
50% of most classes, including my English class, are Chinese, etc. So, apparently, some Chinese students in a tenth-grade class were having a conversation (in Chinese). This class is currently being taught by Ms D, my English teacher from last year. The students conversing mention a certain word a few times in their conversation, and Ms D overhears, and asks them what that word means, but they don't tell her. Now, Ms D is friends with my English teacher, so she comes to my class (since most of us were her students last year) and asks my teacher, Ms V, if she knows what the word means in a whisper. Ms V says no, and asks my class if we know what the word "Po-Kai" (sp?) means. The whole class started laughing. Man, my stories are long...
Last edited by Rov on Wed Nov 21, 2007 11:30 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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