Title: Soapdishes, Soapboxes and Coffee
Author: (Witty Name Here)
Rating: G (teetering on PG)
Genre: Humor, Slice of Life, General
Status: Ongoing
Pairing: Implied Miego, subtly suggested Phoenix/Franziska and Edgeworth/Maya
Summary: Diego Armando never expected to learn everything that was important about life from a class of thirty odd six year olds. [Elementary School AU]

Listen up, children. This is based on a very strange dream I had a few nights ago (never eat baklava and drink Coke after midnight). It's not meant to be realistic in any way. Please don't approach this story with a serious mind, although you may be very surprised to find that young children often know more of how life works than older people do. That said, have fun.

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September, Part I


How, HOW did he end up with this job?

He had applied just for the fun of it, not expecting that he would actually get the position. For God’s sake, he went to law school! His goal in life was not to become a first grade teacher!

Still, here he was, facing thirty odd six year olds who were surprisingly seated, despite the volume rivaling that of a rock concert. For a brief moment Diego wondered if that she-devil principal had ‘coerced’ the children into behaving.

He had no idea how to approach the situation. He had no knowledge of kids and had no desire whatsoever to learn about them. This being said, he hadn’t the faintest idea of how to catch a six year old’s attention. In a fit of frustration, he slammed his coffee mug on a nearby table, trying to think of what to do.

This seemed to silence them. Fair enough.

“Alright then…” Diego tried to collect his thoughts. What was it like when he was in kindergarten? “I am Mr. Diego and you will address me as such. Is that clear?” Oh, wow. Smooth. Keep using that tone of voice and they’ll form a mutiny against you, he thought.

“Ego?” one of the girls asked in the back of the room.

“Eggo waffles?”

The whole class burst into laughter.

This was going to be a very, very long nine months.

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A week or so into the year, Diego Armando was very much on the verge of causing some grievous bodily harm to the next person who looked at him the wrong way. He was only mere days away from showing up with an Uzi in hand, ready and willing to repeat Virginia Tech all over again.

Not knowing what to do, he sought guidance from the only other first grade teacher.

“They’re always like that,” Mia Fey pointed out without the slightest hint of annoyance. “If you’re patient, you should be fine. As far as teaching goes, just read off the curriculum. These are only little kids; they’re not really capable of confusing you.”

He’d be running to her many times in the following months.

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Diego quickly discerned the troublemakers from the quiet kids, the obnoxious from the intelligent. Being the organized (read: utterly confused) man that he was, Diego had learned that no, it was not a good idea to teach math after lunch and that yes, little kids would do anything if it meant play time not getting taken away.

He had to say; by the end of the second week he had become significantly less annoyed than when he initially started this job. God knows he was scary enough to put the little twerps in their place, and the obedient students listened to him and were essentially at his beck and call. Teach them a couple things, read them a story, give them a worksheet or two and they were on their way.

He still tried to remember what it was like to be that age, but he drew up a blank every single time. He wondered if he was the token bully, the average joe, or the kid who had no friends. He wondered if his teacher acted the same way he did, and if so did said teacher scare the living daylights out of him?

He liked watching kids in their nature environment more than he cared to admit.

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There should have been a joke when some kid put some milk in his coffee or somehthing

great story! its a pretty random idea, but its funny to imagine diego being a teacher! is there going to be more??
xxx

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