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| Unexpected Turnabout (Hiatus broke! Last updated 4/19/09!) https://forums.court-records.net/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=14030 |
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| Author: | EdElricNeko [ Sat Feb 21, 2009 4:35 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Unexpected Turnabout (Hiatus broke! Last updated 4/19/09!) |
I'm going to use spoiler tags so people into the story won't have to scroll past individual chapters Title: Unexpected Turnabout Author: EdElricNeko Rating: PG-13 Genre: Mystery Status: (Not Complete) Pairing: (None) Summary: Franziska von Karma is arrested on the suspicion of murder, While Phoenix and Maya are not suprised they go to the Detention Center to ask to help her. Hillarity ensues at some points and at some other points it is merely but a drama. Intro Spoiler: Chapter 1 - Another day at Wright and Co. Law Offices. Spoiler: Chapter 2 - At the Detention Center Spoiler: Chapter 3 - The Dream Spoiler: Chapter 4 - Where it All Went Down. Spoiler: Chapter 5 - Trial Time Spoiler: Chapter 6-Gumshoe's Account Spoiler: Chapter 7 - Unexpected Turnaround. Spoiler: Comment on what you think so far and I will get to Chapter 8 Friday! (Maybye) |
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| Author: | Mina-Chan [ Sat Feb 21, 2009 8:36 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Unexpected Turnabout (SPOILERS FOR JFA END) |
I think it's really good. The only thing is that you should just put the whole thing in a spoiler tag, instead of a single sentence. It would make your work so much more neater and readable. Also you could just edit your first post to include future chapters in this way, adding a new tag each edit. Also, as this was the intro, then the next chapter should really be Chapter 1, not 2. Otherwise, good job and I can't wait for the next chapter. By the way, do you have a beta reader? If you don't, I would be more than happy to do it for you. |
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| Author: | EdElricNeko [ Sat Feb 21, 2009 11:31 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Unexpected Turnabout (SPOILERS FOR JFA END) |
Oh, Thank you No I don't have a Beta Reader but the position is open and thanks for the offer ^^ I'll try to make edits later but I'm going outside now X3 ~Chapter 1 Coming soon. |
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| Author: | Emperor Ing [ Sat Feb 21, 2009 11:35 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Unexpected Turnabout (SPOILERS FOR JFA END) |
"~Chapter 1 Coming soon." I thought that was chapter one. To your credit, I had a good laugh. |
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| Author: | EdElricNeko [ Sun Feb 22, 2009 12:25 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Unexpected Turnabout (SPOILERS FOR JFA END) |
Emperor Ing wrote: "~Chapter 1 Coming soon." I thought that was chapter one. To your credit, I had a good laugh. Intro is just intro as Amy stated To your carelessness, I had a good laugh ((I just HAD to go there XD))
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| Author: | DramaticaXIV2 [ Sun Feb 22, 2009 12:27 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Unexpected Turnabout (SPOILERS FOR JFA END) |
To be fair, your original post did say "Chapter 1." ...I think? |
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| Author: | EdElricNeko [ Sun Feb 22, 2009 12:31 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Unexpected Turnabout (SPOILERS FOR JFA END) |
I know but I just edited it =D Mwaha~.. Okay I begin work on Chapter 1! |
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| Author: | EdElricNeko [ Sun Feb 22, 2009 12:47 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Unexpected Turnabout (Intro-Chpt1 Last updated 2/21/09!) |
Bump to promote! Intro-Chapter 1 is up! |
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| Author: | EdElricNeko [ Sun Feb 22, 2009 2:21 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Unexpected Turnabout (Intro-Chpt2 Last updated 2/21/09!) |
Bump. Chapter 2 now up! |
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| Author: | Mina-Chan [ Sun Feb 22, 2009 5:11 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Unexpected Turnabout (Intro-Chpt2 Last updated 2/21/09!) |
Both Chapter 1 and 2 are awesome. I think you really have a talent for writing. Just make the chapters a little bit longer. By the way, I think that you should put each chapter in its own spoiler tag, so whoever is reading doesn't have to scroll down past old chapters to get to new ones. My offer is still open to beta read. Just PM me. |
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| Author: | kitty_sneeze [ Sun Feb 22, 2009 6:56 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Unexpected Turnabout (Intro-Chpt2 Last updated 2/21/09!) |
wow, great story! you did a good job keeping franzy in character, her diologue was just the kind of things i would imagine her to say! i guess it was only a matter of time before franziska got arrested for murder - after all, its happened to pretty much all the main characters by now!!! i can't wait for chapter 3! xxx |
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| Author: | EdElricNeko [ Sun Feb 22, 2009 9:45 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Unexpected Turnabout (Intro-Chpt2 Last updated 2/21/09!) |
To Amy: Yeah, Good Idea, And sure, I'll send a PM soon. To Kitty_Sneeze: Thanks =3 , And yeah, It was only a matter of time before Franzy was arrested. |
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| Author: | EdElricNeko [ Sun Feb 22, 2009 10:25 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Unexpected Turnabout (Intro-Chpt3 Last updated 2/22/09!) |
Chapter 3 Up! |
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| Author: | GDM [ Mon Feb 23, 2009 4:23 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Unexpected Turnabout (Intro-Chpt3 Last updated 2/22/09!) |
An interesting concept. Keep writing, you're pretty good! |
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| Author: | kitty_sneeze [ Tue Feb 24, 2009 4:42 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Unexpected Turnabout (Intro-Chpt4 Last updated 2/23/09!) |
i just read chapters 4 and 5, great job! i cant believe maya was so desperate to stop for burgers! typical maya XD one little thing i noticed was that you dont have many paragraphs, i think it would be easier to read if you put some spaces between sentences as its just a big block of text. but apart from that, fab! from kitty sneeze xxx |
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| Author: | EdElricNeko [ Wed Feb 25, 2009 2:07 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Unexpected Turnabout (Intro-Chpt5 Last updated 2/24/09!) |
Chapter 5 Up! |
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| Author: | EdElricNeko [ Sat Apr 18, 2009 12:59 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Unexpected Turnabout (Hiatus broke! Last updated 4/18/09!) |
HIATUS BROKE! Chapter 6 is up! |
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| Author: | Katherin Crae Dahl [ Sat Apr 18, 2009 2:34 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Unexpected Turnabout (Hiatus broke! Last updated 4/18/09!) |
Oh em gee, finish, you fool! ... I mean, you're doing really well. Please don't leave us hangin'. |
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| Author: | EdElricNeko [ Sun Apr 19, 2009 3:20 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Unexpected Turnabout (Hiatus broke! Last updated 4/18/09!) |
Yeah sorry about that, My internet is bust and I'm trying my best to post more. |
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| Author: | EdElricNeko [ Sun Apr 19, 2009 3:31 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Unexpected Turnabout (Hiatus broke! Last updated 4/19/09!) |
Chapter 7 up! |
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