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A rainy day, A weathery case. (Goodbye, Turnabout)Topic%20Title
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It's Time

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I have another topic in my fanfic mentality again. I won't be using fanfic.org anymore though. So I've started on a new concept for my next one. Here is a spoiler for things if you wish.
Spoiler:
Mar. 25 8:30 PM
A cold rainy day greeted Phoenix as he headed to the office, he noticed Maya greeted him along with Pearl as usual. He sat down and recalled the Misty Fey murder case that happened a few weeks ago. Suddenly an old client comes to his office.
Maggey:*Salute*
Phoenix:Oh hello, Maggey. What brings you here?
Maggey: Mr. Wright. It seems I'm caught in another case again.


I'll work on the rest very soon. Comments are welcome as always.
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Last edited by Razor2010 on Sat May 29, 2010 5:26 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Re: A rainy day, A weathery case.Topic%20Title

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Interesting! Maggey Byrde, in a case, again? :salute: I like this idea!
Only thing is that the chapter is too short... so I look forward to longer chapters.
Re: A rainy day, A weathery case.Topic%20Title
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It's Time

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It's just part of it. I'm crammed up with case making and fic. making :bellboy: So I don't have much time to edit it. But thanks for supporting it. :godot:
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Re: A rainy day, A weathery case.Topic%20Title

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Ahh, okay. I'm glad there's more :keiko: I hope you'll put it up soon :]
Re: A rainy day, A weathery case.Topic%20Title
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It's Time

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Of course I will. :will: I'll post the next few parts here if you need to see what happened next. :wellington:
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Re: A rainy day, A weathery case.Topic%20Title

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Razor2010 wrote:
Of course I will. :will: I'll post the next few parts here if you need to see what happened next. :wellington:

Of course I need to see what happens! :uramidn: Maggey is a really nice character... probably one of my favourites.
Re: A rainy day, A weathery case.Topic%20Title
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It's Time

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Here is the continuation of the story (This is actually a prologue)
Spoiler:
Phoenix:Another one? What case is it this time.
Maggey:Murder
Phoenix:Another Murder case? But why...
Maggey:I WAS FRAMED IN THIS MURDER!
Phoenix: All right, I know, please calm down and tell me what happened
(End of Prologue)

Chapter 1:Almost Ready
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Re: A rainy day, A weathery case.Topic%20Title
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It's Time

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Chapter 1 is here!
Spoiler:
Chapter 1: Explanation
Maggey: So I was walking to my workplace, the police station. When suddenly, someone shouted:"She Killed Him!, Arrest her!" I was arrested on the spot. But I managed to escape due to my experience.
Phoenix: Did you see who the person was?
Maggey:No, I couldn't, I only saw the police trying to arrest me.
Phoenix:Well Maya, Pearl. It seems we have another case on our hands.
Maya:Ok, Nick! Let's get going.

Chapter 2: In the works
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Re: A rainy day, A weathery case.Topic%20Title

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Razor2010 wrote:
Maggey: I was arrested on the spot. But I managed to escape due to my experience.

XD Maggey is very experienced in murder cases... this is her 3rd trial, right?
Chapter is nice... just short. But you update quickly :keiko: So I guess it doesn't matter much.
I wonder if the victim or murderer is someone we know... :uramidn:
Re: A rainy day, A weathery case.Topic%20Title
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It's Time

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It's going to be a surprise. :karma: Sorry, if it's short or something. :payne: It's supposed to be intros. When it goes to the investigations. It will be quite longer because of the "bumps" that Phoenix will encounter throughout the entire case. And I update a bit quickly so I can draft my next few concepts for the future chapters. Oh and yes, this is her 3rd trial. I'm making a case representation of that in ace attorney online.
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Re: A rainy day, A weathery case.Topic%20Title

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I'm glad the length will be longer. :will: And I can't wait for the surprise!
I'm guessing there will be lots of surprises Phoenix faces? Sounds cool...
What's a case representation, and what's Ace Attorney Online?
Re: A rainy day, A weathery case.Topic%20Title
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It's Time

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It's always going to be long during investigations naturally. :godot: Yes, there will be a lot to expect from the next few chapters :odoroki: A case representation is where you make the fic into a real case. Ace attorney online is a case maker that has investigations, trials, psyche-locks to make your own case. Head to aceattorneyonline.sparklin.org if you want to know more.
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Re: A rainy day, A weathery case.Topic%20Title
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It's Time

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I will take a short break from this so I can draft my next few chapter concepts. Rest Assured, I will be back with 2 chapters. I will be busy effective today... Until May 22. Thanks.
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Re: A rainy day, A weathery case.Topic%20Title

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Thanks :minuki: I'll go to that website and find out more... it sounds hard and confusing.
Okay... May 22 is Saturday, right? I'll be on then! :keiko:
Re: A rainy day, A weathery case.Topic%20Title
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It's Time

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It's a bit complicated at first but, once you get used to it. It's not that hard. Yes, the 2 chapter circulate around 3 places to investigate that's why it takes time. Here is a spoiler for the latter chapters that popped in my head
Spoiler:
*Steel Samurai ringtone sounds*
Phoenix: Hello?
???:It's time to prove your worth, Mr Wright.
Phoenix: Wh-who who are you?
???: The name does not count, All I want is Maggey Bryde GUILTY!
Phoenix: Outrageous! I am a defense attorney! Not a prosecutor
???: If you value these peoples' lives, then you will do that...
Maya and Pearl: NICK! SAVE US, HELP!
Phoenix: Maya! Pearl! Why have you done this?
???: It doesn't matter why.
Phoenix: Wh-who are you? I'll do what you want.
???: ...Trite...I suppose you don't remember?
Phoenix: GODOT???

Tell me what ya think. If this is go, then I'll include it. If not, updating and revising might be needed.
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Re: A rainy day, A weathery case.Topic%20Title

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GODOT?! :spit: Now that's unpredictable... or maybe it's just a red herring. :yuusaku:
Maya getting kidnapped again? A De Killer? She has really bad luck... :larry: and poor Pearly is dragged into this mess.
However, I still like it. :karma: I'm sure Nick will find a way to save the day... and Maya and Pearl.
It's definitely go!
Re: A rainy day, A weathery case.Topic%20Title
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It's Time

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Thanks for the approval! :minuki: This should help in my latter chapter creation :redd: Oh and Godot's position in the case is a surprise. :karma:
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Re: A rainy day, A weathery case.Topic%20Title

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Godot's position is a surprise? Hmmm... I guess he can't be the kidnapper then? It's confusing :yogi:
I guess he's an accomplice... but I though he was in jail. :javado:
Re: A rainy day, A weathery case.Topic%20Title
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It's Time

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You'll have to wait until chapter 4 arrives to know. Somehow a mystery person managed to bail out all the criminals in the entire series. It's a mystery to be solved soon. :garyuu:
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Re: A rainy day, A weathery case.Topic%20Title
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It's Time

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Chapter 2 is here! (Quicker than expected)
Spoiler:
Chapter 2:Investigation: Phase 1
Phoenix: Right, let's go to the CAD first and meet with Gumshoe
Mar. 25 9:40 AM Criminal Affairs Department
Gumshoe: Hey, pal. What do you need?
Phoenix: Do you have the autopsy report on today's murder.
Gumshoe: Yes, here you go.
Autopsy Report: Victim:Max Galactica COD: Pistol wound to heart Time: 9:50 PM
Phoenix: So the victim was Max, the magician from Berry Big Circus?
Gumshoe:Yes, pal.
Phoenix: And do you know that Maggey is the defendant in here.
Gumshoe: Of course, pal. I was notified on her sudden arrest at the Berry Big Circus grounds.
Phoenix: Did you even know she was framed?
Gumshoe: No, pal. But some say that there is evidence in the crime scene pointing to her.
Phoenix: Can we go and examine the crime scene.
Gumshoe:Sure. If it means getting Maggey free.

Almost done with chapter 3.
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Re: A rainy day, A weathery case.Topic%20Title

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Nice chapter! Only think is I think you should try to develop the characters personalities more, and explain in depth the situation.
But other than that, it's good! :godot:
Re: A rainy day, A weathery case.Topic%20Title
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It's Time

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Thanks for the liking of the chapter. :will: The situation will be clearer once the body and evidences are found. For personalities, I'm still trying to fix that, though. Oh, and if you have the time, check my 1st fanfic here: http://forums.court-records.net/present-testimony/21st-century-turnabout-t19062.html I need some hype here.
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Re: A rainy day, A weathery case.Topic%20Title
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It's Time

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Chapter 3 is HERE!
Spoiler:
Chapter 3:The Evidence
Mar.25 11:40AM Berry Big Circus grounds
Phoenix:So, this is where the murder took place?
Gumshoe: Yeah, pal
Phoenix: But where is this incriminating evidence here?
Gumshoe: This one, pal.
Phoenix: A revolver?
Gumshoe: This is one of the standard revolvers all police officers carry.
Phoenix: Any thoughts on this Maggey?
Maggey: I swear! I did not drop my revolver!
Phoenix: Ok, how about you....
Gumshoe: Where are the other two companions you had?
Phoenix: I don't know. They were following me.
???: HEEEEEELLLLPPPP!
Phoenix: Who's that?
Moe: Regina's been kidnapped!
Phoenix: What?
*Steel Samurai Ringtone rings*
Phoenix: Hello?
???:It's time to prove your worth, Mr. Wright

Chapter 4: Almost Ready
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Re: A rainy day, A weathery case.Topic%20Title
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It's Time

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Chapter 4 is here!
Spoiler:
Chapter 4:The Hotline of fate
Phoenix: Wh-who are you?
???: The name does not count, All I want is Maggey Bryde GUILTY!
Phoenix: Outrageous! I'm a defense attorney! Not a prosecutor!
???: if you value these peoples' lives, you will do it.
Maya and Pearl:NICK! SAVE US! HELP!
Phoenix: Maya, Pearl! Why have you done this?
???: It doesn't matter why.
Phoenix: Wh-who are you? I'll do what you want.
???: ...Trite....I suppose you don't remember.
Phoenix: Godot???
Godot: Actually I'm not the lead kidnapper, I've been assigned as the prosecutor to this case
Phoenix: You are the prosecutor? Why are you working with the kidnappers?
Godot: I will tell you soon, why I am like this. But don't worry, the kidnapper will testify in court so you know who really did it.
Phoenix: You are a strange man, you know that.
Godot: My ambitions are blacker than a moonless night, just like coffee.
*cut off*
Chapter 5: In the works
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Re: A rainy day, A weathery case.Topic%20Title

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Oh. Godot is not the kidnapper? A little odd, but still interesting. :will: I like the Chapter 4 title.
I still think de Killer is the kidnapper...
Good luck with developing the plot and personalities :keiko:
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It's Time

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Thanks, yeah I will continue developments until the end. Godot not being the kidnapper is indeed odd. Oh, but De Killer's connection to the case becomes known in chapter 6.
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Re: A rainy day, A weathery case.Topic%20Title

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YES! De Killer was a cool character :godot: I wish he re-appeared in AAI, or would re-appear in AJ2, though...
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It's Time

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Of course he will appear. hint: He will help... Yeah. That opens up a possibility of him being still alive by that time.
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Re: A rainy day, A weathery case.Topic%20Title
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It's Time

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Chapter 5 is here (Once again, quickly made)
Spoiler:
Chapter 5: Farewell, My Turnabout
Phoenix: Why is this happening again.
???: PHOENIX!
Phoenix: Jake, Bikini, Edgeworth? What are you all doing here?
Jake: This is terrible pardner. Lana, Ema, Lotta and Ms. Andrews have been abducted by the winds
Bikini: So is sister Iris!
Edgeworth: And most especially Franziska.
Phoenix: Jake, how do you know all this?
Jake: Got a radar that's why
*Steel Samurai ringtone*
???: It looks like some extra motivation was needed eh, Mr Wright?
Phoenix: Why do this?
???: I cannot explain my reasons yet.
Phoenix: You are sick, you know that!
???: I know I am.
*cut off*
Phoenix: What do I do now?
???: Allow me to offer my services.
Chapter 6: almost ready
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Re: A rainy day, A weathery case.Topic%20Title

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Wow. There must be one ace kidnapper behind all of that...
But I don't get why Adrian and Lotta are abducted... but it'll all be revealed soon, right? :udgy:
Re: A rainy day, A weathery case.Topic%20Title
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It's Time

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Yes. But there will be a story behind the kidnappings and why it happened. Yes, it will all be made clear come the next chapter. :grey:
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Re: A rainy day, A weathery case.Topic%20Title
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It's Time

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Chapter 6 is here!
Spoiler:
Chapter 6: A prelude to darkness
Phoenix: Shelly??? You are going to help me?
Shelly: Of course, I'll even tell you some info on this.
Phoenix: Please, tell us what you know.
Shelly: Very well then, it all started 1 month after the State vs. Iris case. Dahlia is involved here
Phoenix: Dahlia? So she is still alive until now?
Shelly: No, a mysterious channeler has been controlling her spirit in a longer time than any of us
Phoenix: But, that's impossible.
Shelly: That is where the kidnapping starts
Phoenix: But why is Dahlia involved here?
Shelly: Remember the last thing she said before "burning" out last time?
Phoenix: She said "I can't go yet" Somehow, she still has business here
Shelly: You already know Maya is the successor to Misty Fey right?
Phoenix: Yes...Oh my gosh.
Shelly: Realized it now Mr. Wright?
Phoenix: Yes, I now know how Dahlia is here, But please, tell me about the kidnapping.
Shelly: Very well, I'll give you info on this matter
Chapter 7: Almost done
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Re: A rainy day, A weathery case.Topic%20Title

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Wow, Shelly is on Wright's side this time...
And Dahlia is back!? :chinami: She makes everything crazy.
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It's Time

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Of course, after Farewell My Turnabout. He decided to help Phoenix in any way that he can to apologize for his actions. Yes, Dahlia is back and this time. She's badder than ever.
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Re: A rainy day, A weathery case.Topic%20Title
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It's Time

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Chapter 7 is here! (I can't stop this momentum of thought now! :javado: )
Spoiler:
Chapter 7: The hunt (prelude)
Shelly:You have obviously known that there are many people kidnapped. But don't you notice anything peculiar about it?
Phoenix: They are all women.
Shelly: Correct, but I have something to tell you that is very important
Phoenix: What is it?
Shelly: Er... the mastermind according to my deduction is Mr. Gant and I'm sure you know what he wants to do.
Phoenix: .... I'd rather not imagine it. (People start doing disgruntled looks)
Shelly: But here is what he really wants to do. Since Dahlia wants to come back here. He will threaten Ms. Maya to channel her. Even if it takes until the trial end.
Phoenix: Well, why don't we go to the hideout then?
Shelly: Um... we don't know where
Jake: Luckily, pardner. I put a tracking blip on Lana before she got kidnapped
Phoenix: And why did you want to do that.
Jake: Um...never mind that, pardner. Come on! Get on the steed!
Phoenix: Right you are! Let's do this!
Chapter 8 :In the works
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Re: A rainy day, A weathery case. (Goodbye, Turnabout)Topic%20Title
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Grand Balance (Yin-Yang)

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I'll say that the story concept is rather interesting, Razor2010. I commend you. However, they are a bit short, aren't they...?
Don't take it too hard. In this style of fanfiction, it is normal that there is no description, and only dialog, so I understand they to be short... and for some characters, you've done a decent characterization. But some aren't cutting it. It might be just my braging self, but there are parts where Phoenix is accepting things too fast as they come, and Shelly... stuttered? That doesn't sound right. Ok, that IS just my braging self. I like the way you made Jake and Godot, though, I guess it has potential. Good luck! :jake:
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Re: A rainy day, A weathery case. (Goodbye, Turnabout)Topic%20Title
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It's Time

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Phoenix really needs all the help he can get. Even if it comes to him at light speed. Shelly got lost for a second there that's why he did. Thanks anyway for the help you can give.
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Re: A rainy day, A weathery case. (Goodbye, Turnabout)Topic%20Title
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When noone can help Phoenix is there!

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Very good, I liked it....altthough the chapters ARE a bit short...it's good!!!

Gant...YOU PERVERT!! Man...who didn't he kidnap??? :minuki: , and only she...


Godot is...epic :godot: :godot: ...but I was suprised!! :spit: :spit: :spit: :spit:
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Re: A rainy day, A weathery case. (Goodbye, Turnabout)Topic%20Title
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It's Time

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Yeah, sorry about length issues. I wanna take it step by step. Gant did not kidnap the boys and Sister Bikini. :karma: So they will help Phoenix rescue them. Yeah, surprising he is working with the kidnappers.
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Re: A rainy day, A weathery case. (Goodbye, Turnabout)Topic%20Title
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It's Time

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Chapter 8 is here!
Spoiler:
Chapter 8: The hunt
Shelly: All right Jake, where is the blip coming from?
Jake: It's coming from the abandoned warehouse 13 at the docks
Phoenix: But we need a little transportation if we have to get there
*chopper blades whirr*
Gumshoe: Hey, pal. I have gotten permission to use this thing.
Phoenix: Gumshoe, is that a police chopper?
Gumshoe: Yeah, I explained the situation to the chief and he approved of using it.
Phoenix: All right! Let's go!
*10 minutes later*
Gumshoe: OK, pal. Good luck in your hunt.
Phoenix: Gumshoe why don't you come with us then.
Gumshoe: Um, ok then.
*Inside the warehouse*
Phoenix: So, did anyone find anything of interest?
Maggey: I found this note addressed to you Phoenix
Phoenix: Give it to me, I'll read it later.
Edgeworth: I managed to find a directives card.
Phoenix: What does it say?
Edgeworth: No clue. It's written in a weird language
Jake: Um, pardners and bambinas.
Phoenix: What is it Jake?
Jake: The blip is starting to move.
Gumshoe: Where is it heading, pal?
Jake: It's headin to another warehouse
Phoenix: Then let's go!
*5 minutes later*
Phoenix: Well, I think this is it.
Bikini: This had better be it. I'm worrying about sister Iris
Phoenix: Don't worry, she'll be ok.
???: Hello Trite.
*Godot emerges*
Phoenix: Godot, where are they?
Godot: They are inside this very warehouse.
Phoenix: Why are you working with the kidnappers?
Godot: They...they paid me.
Phoenix: What do you mean?
Godot: I'm sure you know Gant's position in the force right?
Phoenix: I know, but who is the real lead kidnapper?
Godot: Dahlia Hawthorne.
Phoenix and everyone: WHAT??? BUT SHE'S BEEN...
Godot: I know but Gant is forcing Maya to channel her.
Phoenix: Why is Dahlia doing this?
Godot: I'm sure you will understand once you read this file*hands Phoenix a file*
Phoenix: I know this file. I'll read it later.
Godot: Go, know the truth inside.
*inside the warehouse*
Phoenix: I wonder where Gant and the girls are.
???: Ah, Wrighto! Welcome!
Gant: It's a pleasure to see you.
Everyone: LET THEM GO NOW!
Gant: Not quite yet, allow me to introduce you to my other friends.
Matt: Hello, Mr. Wright.
Dahlia: It's been a while has it? Feenie?
Phoenix: Oh...my....gosh.
Chapter 9:In the works
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