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SC's Minifics (6/17: Absolutely Anything [Neilcentric])
https://forums.court-records.net/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=5794		 Page 3 of 3
Author:  vio55 [ Wed Jun 11, 2008 3:38 am ]
Post subject:  Re: SC's Minifics (6/4: Depth Perception [Apollocentric])
I really like your one-shot “Depth Perception.” The title immediately drew me in when I saw the thread title… that, and the fact that it’s Apollo centric. XD Apollo doesn’t get nearly enough love.

Your characterizations were great. Spot-on. Apollo always acts so happy and confident and such but I still think he’s more of a lonely kind of person. No complaints here.

Also, I’d like to compliment your ending sentence. That was an awesome way to end an awesome one-shot.

The biggest problem I have with your piece, though, is that it looks all jumbled together. It would be so much easier to read if you made a space between each paragraph. No one else pointed it out, but … meh. Some people might just not read it because they don’t want to read a jumbled mess.

Quote:
Apollo’s heightened senses examined the dark circles underneath his eyes, the steadily growing stubble, and the gradually-forming frown-lines.


I think the last part would sound better as “and the frown lines that were gradually forming."

Quote:
His eyes tended to dart back and forth when Mr. Gavin or Daryan were mentioned, like a puppy that’s been kicked one too many times and is now waiting for the next blow.


Mr. Gavin? I know most people who have/will read this will know who you’re talking about. However… it might still confuse readers. And that’s the last thing you want to do. My first thoughts were “What? His eyes dart back and forth when someone mentions... him?” Just say Kristoph. O_O

Quote:
It was... Horrible.


Horrible shouldn’t be capitalized. It’s not a sentence on it’s own.

Hmm, that’s about it. I hope to see more Apollo fics from you.
Author:  Soramimi Cake [ Wed Jun 18, 2008 2:59 am ]
Post subject:  Re: SC's Minifics (6/17: Absolutely Anything [Neilcentric])
Title: Absolutely Anything
Summary: A doomed man reaches an epiphany as he watches late-night TV with his dearest companions.
Characters: Neil Marshall, Jake Marshall, Lana Skye, Ema Skye
Trigger: for once my fic has a trigger...
... and I can't remember it.
Music: Stop Crying Your Heart Out - Oasis. it's quiet and it's sad - it works. :D
Misc. Notes: Neil. <3 For the Neil Lovers out there, you know who you are but I'm looking at YOU mr. trite
--
The cowboy wouldn’t trade this moment for anything.

It was so very quiet there in the office, but it was the kind of silence he loved. He loved the ticking of the clock, the warm glow of the television and the mumbling of the half-muted voices, the blue darkness, and the smell of his own cigarette - but above all he loved his company.

Jake was already asleep on the couch, the empty bowl of popcorn perched on his chest, which steady rose and fell with unconscious breaths. He couldn’t help but smirk at his older brother looking so childishly content, slumbering like a man in a coma. It reminded him of when they were kids, the disobedient sort that stayed past curfew in their rooms like little ninjas, trying to make it through the late-night movies they were forbidden to watch.

Lana Skye slept to his left, having just dozed off herself. Her head had lolled against his shoulder, a gesture she would have corrected had she not been wandering in a languid dreamscape world all her own. He didn’t mind, of course; she looked safe, and she felt safe, and he could put up with a little extra weight for her sake.

And then there was young Ema Skye, leaning into him, resting her head on his chest as if he were some sort of pillow. The aspiring scientist was one of two that had not yet surrendered to their own sleepiness, instead watching the television through half-lidded eyes that were so desperately fighting their instinct to close for the night.

It was rare for Neil Marshall to feel so important, so surrounded by adoration and unconditional love. And as he himself fought the siren call of sleep, his tired eyes focused on his companions, he realized something: He would do anything for these people.

Absolutely anything.
Author:  Mia_Fey [ Wed Jun 18, 2008 3:14 am ]
Post subject:  Re: SC's Minifics (6/17: Absolutely Anything [Neilcentric])
That gets a big "aww" from me. It's so very sweet and beautifully written. Nicely done. :)
Author:  Soramimi Cake [ Wed Jun 18, 2008 3:37 am ]
Post subject:  Re: SC's Minifics (6/17: Absolutely Anything [Neilcentric])
Thank you so much for all of your compliments ;; <333 I haven't forgotten about the fic I promised you, either!

=_= final exaaaammmssss ~fist shake~
Author:  FdrlPrsctrTails [ Wed Jun 18, 2008 3:53 am ]
Post subject:  Re: SC's Minifics (6/17: Absolutely Anything [Neilcentric])
GREAT FIC!!!!

I love it.
Author:  Soramimi Cake [ Wed Jun 18, 2008 4:17 am ]
Post subject:  Re: SC's Minifics (6/17: Absolutely Anything [Neilcentric])
Nyaaaaw thanks :D <333 I'll write moar Neil for you guys once tests are over and done with.
tests. ~hiss~
Author:  Mr.Trite [ Wed Jun 18, 2008 1:53 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: SC's Minifics (6/17: Absolutely Anything [Neilcentric])
I DON'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT NEIL, SO HERE GOES NOTHING.

All joking aside, I really loved this fic! You're the one that installed smoking!Neil into my head, and I've oddly got to thank you for it- It really makes the fic. You're so good at writing the guy- I'm jealous!
Author:  PeachySweetPearl [ Wed Jun 18, 2008 5:28 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: SC's Minifics (6/17: Absolutely Anything [Neilcentric])
I really liked the idea of them all spending an evening together- it was the sweetest thing I've read for ages =)
Author:  Becky the Frog [ Sun Nov 02, 2008 4:15 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: SC's Minifics (6/17: Absolutely Anything [Neilcentric])
Scent to Memory was beautiful.
It made my cry.
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