Plot
I liked the plot, and the way you delved into Miles and Franziska's past was handled quite well.

Criticism
This criticism is connected to some parts that I liked, so don't lose face just because this section is long. The most significant issue I had was my difficulty believing your portrayal of Franziska, as well as how quick her transition was. I'll admit that she does have a softer side, but that does not necessarily mean that she is not prideful. The same applies with Miles; even after his own transition, he was still a very proud man. While I'm on the topic of character portrayal, I feel I should add that they both seemed too... I can't think of a perfect way to phrase this; hopefully this will do: "bathed in light." One thing that makes me admire Miles and Franziska is the darkness that exists within them--their uncertainty, their perceived weaknesses, their desire to be stronger, and their occasionally foolish pride (especially their pride). I also have trouble picturing either of them being as passionate in romance as you portrayed them. In essence, I imagine this story could have done just as well using a different couple.

Personal Thoughts
My guess is that you interpreted Franziska's tears in Justice for All differently than I did, thus causing the difference between my view of her and your view. If that interpretation is the reason behind your portrayal of Franziska, then please disregard my criticism of it.
Plot
I liked the plot, and the way you delved into Miles and Franziska's past was handled quite well.

Criticism
This criticism is connected to some parts that I liked, so don't lose face just because this section is long. The most significant issue I had was my difficulty believing your portrayal of Franziska, as well as how quick her transition was. I'll admit that she does have a softer side, but that does not necessarily mean that she is not prideful. The same applies with Miles; even after his own transition, he was still a very proud man. While I'm on the topic of character portrayal, I feel I should add that they both seemed too... I can't think of a perfect way to phrase this; hopefully this will do: "bathed in light." One thing that makes me admire Miles and Franziska is the darkness that exists within them--their uncertainty, their perceived weaknesses, their desire to be stronger, and their occasionally foolish pride (especially their pride). I also have trouble picturing either of them being as passionate in romance as you portrayed them. In essence, I imagine this story could have done just as well using a different couple.

Personal Thoughts
My guess is that you interpreted Franziska's tears in Justice for All differently than I did, thus causing the difference between my view of her and your view. If that interpretation is the reason behind your portrayal of Franziska, then please disregard my criticism of it.

First off, thanks for taking the time to read it. I know how romance stories aren't your cup of tea, but I appreciate the time you took to read it

Now, I understand what you mean by their... "darkness within" traits, is how I'll put it. This story really was more of a protrayal of Franziska's growth, not necessarily Miles's, though I cannot deny that I did attempt at his. I was using Fran's "wall" as her pride that she shows most often; however, while in most characters like Fran, we all know that really behind that 'wall of pride' is really more of a softer side. However, I was attempting something a little different: that Franziska wasn't using her 'true strength'. Here's how I characterized Franziska: due to the pressures of her father (and from herself), she is forced to put up this 'wall' to protect herself so that no one can see the damage this pressure is doing to herself. So while many saw a prideful Franziska, there were a few that could perceive that inside, she's not really so 'hard-core' (if that's a pun, I did not intend it ). BUT, and here's where my strange attempt at something different, Franziska actually has an inner strength that she "hasn't been using". Basically, it's supposed to relate to the whole theme of "truth" in Phoenix Wright. I'm not sure if I can explain this correctly, but basically, once Franziska discovers what Miles had to discover for himself, she, in essence, is able to a) live with herself and b) become a better keeper of the law. Am I making any sense?

Here was my issue with Miles: I needed someone who would be 'assertive' in the relationship. I also had trouble with his 'motives'. That's why he seems... awkward. I understand what you mean about that both characters seemed 'bathed in light'. I know this is silly, but in my mind, I tend to relate Miles and Franziska with Riku from Kingdom Hearts. However, in this story, I was attempting to have Miles be, as it is said in the story, "a light in Franziska's darkness". This obviously can have two symbolisms: a) that he teaches her about the meaning of finding "truth" (light can symbolize truth) and b) that he's also like her happiness in her life. I guess I find it a little strange that Franziska, in my story, was perceived as too much 'bathed in light' only because she indeed was in the dark before the events in this fanfic took place. However, perhaps, unwittingly, I had both characters become 'bathed in light' in the end. Ah well, different ways.

I'm going to present my interpretation of Franziska's tears in relation to my protrayal of her in my story. To me, Franziska had part of her 'wall' broken at that point, you could say. It was probably a mix of Miles trying to tell her the meaning of being a prosecutor (which conflicted to what her dear papa told her) and (dare I say it?) a little bit of the fact that Miles said something along the lines of: "If you choose a different path, then this is our good-bye" (I think you can get where I'm going with this. Curse my shipping mind!). To be honest, to fit the story I was weaving, that's how I envisioned it.

And yes, the romance part. Indeed, it was out-of-character, but otherwise, I don't really have an explanation for that. Sorry, no psychological endeavors for this one!

I knew when I first wrote this fanfic (since it was indeed my first) that it would be... different. Actually, this was my first ever fanfic for any video game or anime. So that's why... er, I think you understand?

Pleasure exploring characters' psyches with you! Sorry, I have this strange facination with psychology, and it can get to the better of me sometimes. *sigh* I really wish, though, that I was actually good at it...

To start, I'm fine with romance stories; most of the stories I've written focus heavily on romance, although I try to avoid making romance the only subject of the stories. One significant difficulty in writing a romance story is keeping people in character during the more passionate scenes.

Also, I try to make a habit of reading and reviewing the stories written by people who took the time to read and review mine. I can both help them improve as well as learn from them. Sometimes you learn better from the actions of others than you do from your own actions.

Moving on, it appears most of my criticism stems from my different interpretation of Franziska. Your own interpretation showed in your portrayal of her. Moving on, I will still commend you for your effort; Miles and Franziska are both difficult characters to portray properly (let alone in a romance story) because of their personalities.

The theme of truth in the Ace Attorney games did show itself quite prominently in your story, so I'm glad to see that it wasn't by accident. I still have a bit of an issue with the speed of Franziska's transition, though--perhaps something you should keep an eye out for in future stories. Still, the storyline connected well to the theme, and I give you credit for that.

And I can also understand Miles's change in personality in order to fit the role you gave him. One major issue with giving someone a role is making sure they are fit for it, which is why some of my better stories use original characters rather than pre-made ones. [chuckles] Ah, Riku... He's definitely one of the more complex characters of the series--probably why so many people enjoy writing about him. I can see the connections between his character and that of Miles--they both accept the darkness, yet they also take care to avoid completely immersing themselves in it. However, going further into that topic is partially digressing from the subject at hand: your story. He was definitely assertive--to the point that he seemed out of character. It would be wise to keep a character's own limits in mind when giving them a role. I fear I may have done that a few times in my own story (particularly Chapter 1, which I have revised to make Mia more realistic).

As for the more passionate scene, I wouldn't be surprised if I encountered similar problems later on in my own story. Still, you handled it relatively well--although there still was room for improvement. Hopefully, I'll be able to use what I've learned from your story to make such scened in mine work just as well as--if not better than--yours.

Finally, I, too, enjoy psychology. People like Miles, as well as odd relationships, are what I call "the playthings of psychologists." I wouldn't be surprised if my fascination with Miles's mind is what made him my favorite character in the first place.

No problem, though I'm intrigued by your curiosity

On this forum, I've completed two fanfictions (you've commented on both of them) and am in the process of another: Flawless Achievement.

Overall? Well, I used to be part of this one forum for this series of mystery computer games, but they weren't fanfiction. You just rewrote the ending to the mystery game, and that was it. I wrote three of those, as well.

Otherwise, Phoenix Wright is the first "anime-based" game that I've ever written fanfiction for.

*Scratches chin* Reading reviews as long as the chapters themselves, it's these things that slaughter my lunch break.

The fun thing about fanfiction is that every writer's perception of the characters is different and the idea's of the writer will differ greatly depending on their perception of the characters. This is why we have Phoenix paired with everyone from Maya to Violetta, it's a matter of perception.

While I might agree that Franny did seem to change a little bit quickly, she also had a lot of things pressing her. While she is a very foolishly prideful person, by the time the third game came out I think she was already a bit on the path to searching for personal truth.

Miles was a bit assertive, however we have to factor in that we rarely see Miles in a one on one situation with someone that he cares about and trusts, in fact, I'm not sure we ever get to see it. The way a person acts when in a crowd and the way they act with the people closest to them are often times two very different things, Edgy's actions could easilly be described as just the difference in comfort level that he has from when we normally get to see him, compaired to how he acts around people that he loves.

I really love Edgeworth's character, there are portions of it that remind me of myself and nothing rocks more than being able to relate to a character. As I read this one, I never really felt that Edgey was acting overly OOC based on the situations he was in, if for no other reason than that many of the situations he's presented with are much different than ones we get to see him in.

Not much different with Fran either, she's faced with feelings and emotions that she's not comfortable nor familiar with. She can see, if only on a subconsious level that her approach to bringing justice was wrong, and every defeat she suffered she deserved. You put enough pressure on someone, even if they are prideful they will eventually crack. Heck, we see it at the end of every case in the games, where the evidence piles up to the point that the real baddie fesses up finally. Even Manny Von Karma Mr. Perfection incarnate eventually gives up and admits to his crimes.

While a little slower change and pace might have been a little better, I still feel that this story fit together pretty well.

Oh, and thanks for leaving a review on this story General Luigi, it gave me some ideas on how to review this a bit more fully, which I wanted to do, but didn't really think of how. Remind me to check out your story sometime.

The reason why I asked is that I saw a few of the same things in your works as I saw in my own earlier stories. The same mistakes, but also the same strengths. Oddly enough, those early stories are the only ones I've truly finished. Still, your chapters are worlds longer than the ones from my early works, not to mention the weaknesses in your works are much less prominent in my eyes.

I reread my first chapter and realized the mistakes I made. I made it seem like Franziska changed so quickly when in reality, I was trying to get the reader into her mindset that she's had before. I don't think it was written well enough, though, for the reader to make her mindset believeable, therefore it looked like she took a nosedive and changed. I don't know, though.

That's a good point. I think that got me into some trouble; I mean, we don't really know how he reacts in a situation like this. Like I said before, I had to make him assertive enough to keep the story moving.

Looking back, I agree with both you and General Luigi. I also think the problem is, well, I wasn't sure what to put between the events. In the future, I'll have to plan better

Hey haven't seen you in awhile!

It's a tricky thing to write that. I think I grasped it because I kinda had the idea that Franny was on the road to self discorvery even before the Phoenix Story arc ended, so the idea of things pushing her down that road a bit quicker didn't strike me as very odd. To a person who didn't have that take on Franny though, they might thing it's too quick.

The way I see it, if you're writing for a character in a situation that you have no cannon evidence as to how they would act in that situation, you get a bit of leeway. Like I sauid before, I had no issues with how you portrayed Edgey ^_^

Yeah, I know that feeling pretty well, I didn't have that problem much with Decisive Evidence because it's not much of a streatch of the imagination to see Phoenix and Maya happy together, neither of their personalities would have to change since they already hit it off really well. Edgey and Fran however need a little wiggle room. I think that's why pure romance stories are a bit of a pain to write and why usually people do stories on other things and sprinkle in romance when possible.




Anyway, I still feel this story was great warm fuzzy and nifty, hope you keep up the good work.

Wow...random thought, but I wonder if anyone would pair Edgeworth and Charlie (The potted plant in Wright's office) That my friends would be a total crack paring.


It's a tricky thing to write that. I think I grasped it because I kinda had the idea that Franny was on the road to self discorvery even before the Phoenix Story arc ended, so the idea of things pushing her down that road a bit quicker didn't strike me as very odd. To a person who didn't have that take on Franny though, they might thing it's too quick.



The way I see it, if you're writing for a character in a situation that you have no cannon evidence as to how they would act in that situation, you get a bit of leeway. Like I sauid before, I had no issues with how you portrayed Edgey ^_^




Yeah, I know that feeling pretty well, I didn't have that problem much with Decisive Evidence because it's not much of a streatch of the imagination to see Phoenix and Maya happy together, neither of their personalities would have to change since they already hit it off really well. Edgey and Fran however need a little wiggle room. I think that's why pure romance stories are a bit of a pain to write and why usually people do stories on other things and sprinkle in romance when possible.

Anyway, I still feel this story was great warm fuzzy and nifty, hope you keep up the good work.

Wow...random thought, but I wonder if anyone would pair Edgeworth and Charlie (The potted plant in Wright's office) That my friends would be a total crack paring.

This is one of the most beautiful stories I've ever read. It brought tears to my eyes, and I'm reading it at work!


I don't usually read fanfic because so much of it is abysmal. Your story was well-written and your characterization was amazing. Although the pairing isn't necessarily "canon", none of the characters acted "out of character" and it was very believable. It did tend to go a little quickly, but much slower than most fanfic I've read. Maybe it just seemed faster because I was enjoying it.

Thank you so much for putting so much time into this most excellent story. I think I'm going to save it into a Word document so I don't lose it, and can go back and read it again. <3