Title: The "Blue Beauty"
Author: Morinzilion
Rating: PG
Genre: Crack/"Romance"
Status: Finished. (One Shot)
Pairing: Mike Meekins/Blue Badger
Word count: 404
Notes: Crack fic, not to be taken seriously. Cross-posted at my LJ and the Gyakuten Saiban LJ community. More or less a drabble.

Mike Meekins had something on his mind, or someone, as he knew it by. He saw the dancer every morning, as diligent as he. Every morning, Meekins would pass by, the dancer. Lately, because of the "Blue Beauty" he was unable to concentrate on anything else. His formerly perfect record of punctuality had suffered due to it.

He had been meaning to ask, how exactly the dancer did it every day. Meekins had no idea if the dancer even got a wage for what the dance did every day. Meekins, after his shift approached Detective Gumshoe, who was not in the middle of anything remotely important, and asked a question. (Meekins had planned this, to gain the full attention of the good Detective.)

"Sir! Detective Gumshoe, SIR!!" The excitable officer said with a salute, and fortunately for the rest of the office, he said it without his trademark megaphone.

"Hey, pal," Detective Gumshoe said, "You don't have to yell. I have ears, you know, pal?"

"Sorry, sir!" Meekins had decreased his volume, just a little bit, "But I have a question in dire need of answering!"

Meekins paused, saluting still, Gumshoe nodded dumbfounded. Meekins then continued, "How, how does that blue beauty keep dancing… so enticingly. How!? I must know, I—love—"

"You love the Blue Badger? Ain't 'e a great mascot? Glad you like my workmanship, pal!" Gumshoe said proudly, a wide grin across his face.

"M-M-MASCOT?"

"Yeah, I spent an entire paycheck on buying the paint and plywood. Blue Badger's Number one fan, um, what was your name again, pal?"

"Mike, Mike Meekins, sir," he said softly, his eyes welling up with tears.

After and overly dramatic sob, he spoke again, "You mean that the blue badger is… plywood? Devoid of human," a sob, "emotions, and," another sob, "and the ability to love?"

"Hey, pal, don't get so emotional on me! I didn't know you like the blue badger that much, pal." Gumshoe said, completely baffled at the younger officer's behavior.

"I'll be leaving, my shift," a small sob, "starts soon," he blew his nose with a great honk, "Thank you, Detective Gumshoe," Meekins saluted then left, sobbing more and more.

Gumshoe ran his fingers through his hair, still completely dumfounded about Meekins' behavior. Gumshoe shook his head, not wanting to spend too much time thinking about Meekins and his "love life" and went back to balancing a pencil on his nose.

I saw this on FF.net(I think...) and I couldn't stop laughing! Great work!

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Poor Meekins! ;_;