Soccer = Too much fun.

= Me
= Amanda
= Cassie
: Other Team
: Coach Gravin

_________________________________

: *On the sidelines taking stats doing the commentary*

: All righty than, folks, there goes Amanda with her 1,000 points of SOCCER SKILLZ and 2,400 points of HAIR SKILLZ. She's dribbling down the field, crossing around another person-OOH, slidetackle, +50 Attack Points.

: *Dribbling* 'The hell?

: *Continuing* Oh, no, the other team has the ball! They're going down the field, getting past our team-+15 for every teammate they knock over-and are going towards the goal! One girl shoots! The ball flies into...

THE GOALIE'S HANDS! +4,700 Defense Points for Cassie!

: SHUT UP, HANNAH.

: *At the end of the game* Hell yeah, people! Our school finally won a game! HEAR THAT, WORLD?! ALL OUR WINS BELONG TO YOU.

: ...What the fuck?

: And, as a special mention, I'd like to thank our coach. COACH GRAVIN, I CHOOSE YOU!

: Is she...always...like...this...?

and : ...Pretty much.

---

: my Friend
: other Friend
: Nerds

At lunch one day...
: There is no way the Xbox360 beats the PS3! It's impossible!

: Well, the PS3 has a bigger hardrive and better graphics-

:But the games suck, though.

:Give it time, soon, the PS3 will pwn you all!

: What about XboxLIVE?

: If the Xbox and Playstation are so good, then why is the Wii sold out all over the country?

:..................

: Well...

: SHUT UP AND LET ME EAT MY CERAL IN PEACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

---

...

Where's PacMan when you need him?

---

I had a fun bus journey today:

= Me
= Friend 1
= Friend 2
: Friend 3, who wasn't actually there but is relevant
: 's girlfriend who again wasn't there but is important. You should know that was recently joking about having killed her. Don't ask.
= Annoying younger student

: Hey, Godot, are you Chinese?
: No, I'm Slovenian.
: Does that mean you can talk to snakes?
: He's Slovenian, not a Parselmouth!

(Later the same journey)

: Klavier, did you know that Glen didn't realize you were going out with Ema until recently?
: I know, he told me. He said 'I heard something on the grapevine about you and Ms. Skye.' I thought he was talking about me killing her. So I said 'I gave her a couple of punches to the face first.'
and : HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
: God, a real Larry David moment!

I have a semi-poor memory of conversations I have with other people, but I'll try:

- Me
-My friend Mike Allison, who we all call "Allison". i don't remember why... (becuase he's overly eccentric himself)
- My friend Gabe (because he's moved from Maine to Texas twice and moved back both times.)
- My friend Chris (Because I say so)
- My friend Greg (becuase he's the only guy who goes to GU who can actually beat me in GH3)
- My friend Kirk (because there's no Brushel sprite)
- An acquaintance of mine, Logan Acorn a.k.a. "Stalk".
- Brian Nesbitt, one of my least favorite opponents due to his overly inflated ego. Commonly referred to as "Itty Bitty" or "Bitty" for short.

- Afternoon, Allison. *sets 20lb. duffel bag down* You actually sleep last night for once?
- Hey dude! Er, I mean Logan.
Author's note: I don't like to be referred to as "dude" by people.
- Afternoon, Gabe. What're you doing?
- Modding my DS. I can't get my Flash Card to work on it.
- Wouldn't that be because you were poking-and-prodding in there before?
- No... it's because I need to mod it for the flash card to work.
<later that day, during the weekly Yu-Gi-Oh! Tournament>

Okay! Everyone listen up! Next round pairings: Chris, you get Bitty!

Don't lose or that baka'll never shut up.
Don't worry, I won't.
Come on and sit down, noob!

Mr. Logan, you get Greg.
Fantastic. haven't played you in a while.
Yeah, I've been waiting. You still use E-Heroes?
Of course. At least until I get my old Rock Control deck reconstructed.

Allison, you get Stalk.
Oh crap.
Don't worry, maybe he'll actually tone it down for onc-
DON'T WORRY, MA'AM! I'M FROM THE INTERNETS!!
Or not...

---

English: Reading Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet

Original quote:
I cannot bound a pitch above dull woe.

Student's ( ) version:
I cannot pound a bitch above dull woe.

---

- Substitute teacher
- Kid in my class

What year are you in?
*wasn't listening* What?
What are you?
I'M A BOY!!

It was kind of a "you had to be there" moment.

---

Hahaha.

Oh, pit crew. So many good quotes~

me, members of pit crew, director

::important context note: the musical is Guys and Dolls, and the three songs everyone hates are Follow the Fold, Havana, and Luck be a Lady Tonight::

I lost the measure I was on!
><;; Well, it would help if I was doing the right notes on the piano.

...Aww, crap, I got lost in Havana.
Have you had any dolce de leche yet?
...Wait, so I'm lost in Havana, AND drunk?
::there's a scene in the play where two of the characters go to Havana, Cuba, and the lady gets drunk off this alcoholic milkshake called dolce de leche::

<<;; I hate Luck be a Lady!
At least you're not lost and drunk in Havana.
...I got lost in Follow the Fold. 'Cause it's so annoying.
Yeah, Emily followed the fold to Havana and got lost.
I already was...
And I got lost in A Lady.
...What did you just say?
I got lost in A Lady--Oh, crap...
So... I followed the fold and got lost, Katie's lost in Cuba, and Preston's lost in a lady?

---

= Me
= Friend
= Other friend

Today at school:

: *Walks into room*
:Congratulations! *Holds out hand*
: *Shakes hand* What did I do?
:You know! The girl!
:Girl?
:Your... Girlfriend.....
....?
: .... -.-" Its not you, is it?
:Nope. Thats the other [Balrog]

---

I see what you did there, Balrog...

Anyway. In Algebra this morning...
me, my gf

::writing on hand::
...You're going to give yourself ink poisoning, Katie.
Don't worry about that, you're in my hands!
...huh?
::shows hand:: See, I wrote our names on my hand.
Oh. ::thinks:: Actually, if our lives were really in your hands... I'd be kinda scared.

---

I have a bunch of friends quote written..... somewhere, I'll go find them. Till then here's one I can remember off the top of my head:

-My friend Richard
-My friends Alex


:Alex is the only person I know who compares Ajax to an inferior Brand by taste.
:So?

---

= Me
= My friends

(We were talking about random crap and so I tried to think of something really arbitrary)

: Okay, let's see . . . describe you're last intimate or sexual experience . . . using Starfox 64 quotes! Go!

(We're big nerds and these were some of my closest friends so I knew damn well they played the game tons of times)

: "I think I'll torture you for a while!"
: "I guess I should be thankful!"
: "Get this guy off me!"
: "It's foolish to come against me!"
(and the last was the best one)
: "Your daddy screamed REAL GOOD before he DIED!"

One of the funniest moments in my life.

---

Right, I found a bunch, most of which are one liners and out of context, but still funny.

The Cast:
= Me
=Alex
=Richard
=Adam
=Cindy
=Megan
=Jess
=Nicole
=Shane
=Joel
=Jason
=Phil
=Geoff
=Hari

Featuring:
:Dude that got burned.
:A Teacher that got burned.
============
: How can I make this more interesting?
: Set it on fire
============
: I Reckon I know why I did so bad in the half yearly... I didn't read the question.
============
: Old ladies eat cat food.
: Yes, all old ladies eat cat food.
============
: Why did you throw that bottle at me?
: I didn't, I dropped it horizontally.
============
: There's a pocket watch I'm in the line to inherit when someone dies, but I can't remember who dies.
: Dumbledore dies.
============
: I believe criminals cause crime.
: Hey Shane, are you poor?
: Yes.
: You're a criminal.
============
: The word "cat" is not the small, furry creature that could be sitting on my lap right now, purring contentedly...
(whispers): As you stroke it, like the evil arch-villain that you are.
============
: As if anyone's gonna commit suicide in the next 3 weeks!
: You know somewhere, someone will.
: Yeah, but if I don't know them it doesn't matter.
============
: How does mandatoring sentencing serve the greater good?
: By locking up the terrorists! I think it's pretty simple.
: I think you're pretty simple.
============
: What's the capital of Africa?
============
: What is steak?
============
: Do you know what 50 x 20 is?
: Ten.
============
: We want to see Snakes on a Plane this weekend.
: What's that about?
============
(talking about Muslims): I'm not discriminatory, I just don't like them.
============
: But surely if you get liposuction you end up with huge flaps and flaps of skin.
: Good for drug smuggling.
============
: My cat attacked a bird... this time it just attacked it and left it for dead.
: What did you expect it to do, take it to a vet?
============
(Sees Laura out the window): Sir, Laura's coming.
: Look who's first to notice!
(Some time later)
(Sees Adrian [male] out the window): Sir, Adrian's here.
: Look who's first to notice!
& : Buuurn!
============
: At least I have parents. Yours died in the great revolution of '63.
: What, Beatlemania?
============
: Unlike Socialists, Capitalists actually care about someone other than themselves.
============
: London, that's in France isn't it? Seriously, where is it, Denmark?
============
: This video has strengthened my belief that sound is audible.
============
: I'm sorry, my Concorde is getting serviced.
: Mine's getting a nose job.
============
: You're all chlorinated! Why don't you have a shower?!?
: A what?
============
: A limpet.
: Yes, I know what they are, they make me limp.
: That was very lame!
: In so many ways.
============
: And what if Joel thinks he's perfect in every way?
: Well then Joel's a stuck-up prick!
============
: Does that say"UK"?
: "U-P".
: What does that mean?
: Up.
============
: He's perfectly sane apart from the voice inside his head.
============
: What were you two doing grunting in the tent?
: I was probably trying to find something.
============
(threatening Joel): You're lucky I don't have anything large and blunt to shove down your throat.
============
: Debauchery is the act of debauchery.
============
: C, as in the letter between B and D.
: Yeah, P, as in the letter between O and N.
============
: What's that symbol mean?
: "Hazardous Medical Waste".
: No it doesn't, that's more spiky.
: It does in a parallel universe.
: You're a fucking moron!
: Thankyou. In a parallel universe you just paid me a high compliment.
============
: The frozen one had more penetrating power.
============
: My dad would eat anything to please me.
============
: Alex is the only person I know to compare Ajax to an inferior brand by taste.
============
: Nobody listens to me.
: I don't listen to anybody.
: I don't listen to anybody.
============
: Women are different...
: After four years of High School health lessons you've only just realised that women are different.
============
(referring to Einstein): He wasn't very good at things like English.
: That's because he was German.
============
: Hey, look! A find-a-word!
: That's the periodic table.
============
: Since Alex got his hair cut he's gone from looking like a woman to looking like a lesbian!
============
: I had 14 cups of coffee last night!
: In how long?
: An hour and forty minutes.
: That's one every ten minutes!
============
: What year were we in last year?
============



And there you go... gee that was alot. ^_^

---

Funniest. Moment. Ever.

---

- Me
- Cory, my friend

Why are you going up the stairs sideways?
*Without missing a beat* Because it's better than going up backwards!
...That's such a Matthew answer.



That. Was Awesome.
I used to have friends like that.
*sigh*

---

Last edited by The Doctor on Sat Apr 12, 2008 5:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.

= Me
= Neurotic girl
= Other girl
= Friend of mine

(These all occurred on different days)

: If I were to learn another language, I think it would be Japanese.
: Why?
: Because it's such a beautiful language. It has words for concepts our words get nowhere near.
: I think there's a Japanese word meaning 'rape monster'.
: Yes. Curiously enough, when I said that Japanese was beautiful that wasn't what I was thinking of.

: (Displaying her 'Death Note'.) If anyone's name is written into this book, they die.
: Um, Dahlia, on the inside cover, you've written 'this book is property of Dahlia Hawthorne'.
: That doesn't count.
: Er, okay.

and : (Having an in-depth discussion about the desk slams of the different Ace Attorney characters)
(who has no knowledge of Ace Attorney, and probably wasn't even listening to us): (walks up to the desk and talks to her friend) God Vicky, this is so incredibly frustrating! *Slams the desk repeatedly to punctuate her words, in the exact fashion Franziska does when losing Turnabout Big Top*
: Well, I think we've established that Ellie would be the scaries Ace Attorney character ever.

Mein Gott, pit crew rehearsal has so. Many. Innuendos. And violence o.O

me, other orchestra members, choir director, two guys in the play

::During break::
Pfft, Preston, you owe me so much money.
<<;; I know...
Hell, you owe me your life. You are so my bitch.
<<;; I know that too.

I get lost every time we play Havana.
At least you're not drunk yet. Preston almost is, though.
Yeah, totally. I mean, I always get lost in A Lady when I'm drunk...
What about when you're sober?
Well, then I get lost in Guys. ::The finale is title Guys and Dolls, FYI::
And when I'm sober, I get lost in A Lady... ::stops referring to the song all of a sudden:: I mean, that's what Allisa's for.

::While playing Havana::
Crap, I got lost in Havana AGAIN!
Yeah, me too. Hey, let's go get some alcoholic milkshakes.
Great, then we'd be lost and drunk together.
That's kinda scary actually.
::For some reason we have an obsession with being drunk when we talk about this song, and no, I don't get it either::

::while working on another song, in which there's a fight scene::
::hums the melody:: ...And this is when you hit Shroom, Ben.
So, I hit on the last "bum"?
I thought you hit on the first bum?
No, I swear you hit on the last bum!
::snicker::

---

(me): roflcopterrrrrrr for the creativity~

P/S: it's NOT The Doctor who wrote that reply. It was altered by that banned member.....

---

OMG, I dont how where you got that quote from. BUT THATS GREAT! XDDDDD

---

Simple, scroll the reply after this one:

Subject: What/who... ARE you?

---

One of my friends was dumped recently, but seems to be in very good humour about it:

= Me
= Friend
= His friend
= His other friend
= Random girl

: I think what started the problem was when it was all kicking off in chemistry last week.
: What happened?
: She was really upset, but my sympathizing is more patronizing. So I didn't say anything.
: What are you guys talking about?
: Charlotte played the 'let's be friends' card.
: Why?
: She was really upset last week, and instead of comforting her, Klavier threw pens at her.
: NO, I threw the pens before she start crying.
: That's probably why she started!

(Later on)
: Charlotte and I have finished.
: Why?
: She played the 'let's be friends' card. I told her 'it's not what it looks like, I was bitten by a snake and this nice lady came to suck out the poison'. (This comment was made really funny by the fact that it bore no relation to the actual reason for the break-up. It was just him being weird).

Hahaha.

Anyway, another quote from my girlfriend, during Algebra this morning...
me, her

Wow, I brought my test grade up THREE POINTS! [/sarcasm]
At least yours is okay. I need a good luck charm or something.
...You should try writing on your hand. It helps for me.
With my luck, if I did that I'd end up getting actual ink poisoning and having WORSE luck.

---

WARNING: NOT FOR VERY RELIGIOUS PEOPLE.

: My "Christian Scriptures" Teacher
Me
: Friend

*Trying to Explain How Mary Was Born Without "Orginal Sin"*
: I don't understand "original sin."
: Well, you know how you have that urge to cheat, but you don't?
: Uh...Yeah?
: That "urge" is what Original Sin is all about!
: Isn't that "free will"?
: WHAT?! Mary had no free will?! No wonder she didn't object to being knocked up at, like, twelve!

---

My friend and I had a sort of continuation of this today:

: Someone said to me about Diversion today Apollo.
: What?
: If I could remember that time when I couldn't remember the name.
: Oh yes. Who asked you that?
: I can't remember.
: Somehow, I JUST PLAIN KNEW you were going to say that.

Hahaha.

...I love musical rehersal.

me, members of pit orchestra, girls in play, choir director

Okay, this whole family tree thing is getting convoluted.
I don't know how this happened...
Ha, Emily and I gave birth to you, Preston!
Huh? When'd that happen?
Yeah, Emily's my mom.
I dunno. Time paradox or sumthin'...
...I know! Emily's an abortion baby! Then we cloned her, and--
::is just walking out from the backstage to the break hallway:: Huh?
Uh, hey, there...
...I don't want to know.

Oh, hey, when George starts singing, I wanna jump on the desk and dance.
Actually... That kinda works.
...Do Jazz hands, Ruthie!
Pit Orch: Jazz hands!
... o.O

---

= me
= friend 1
= friend 2, AKA my crush

- I still don't like the new Transformers.
- Me either. It didn't even make me go...
- Don't say it.
- She's gonna say it anyway, John.
- Don't say it, Jess!
and at the same time - OH MY MEGATRON!
- I swear you two are Decepticons.
- I'M SKYWAAAAAAAAAAAARP! -Runs across the bridge.-

It might just be a "you had to be there" moment, but I still laugh thinking about it.

---

I've realised that I've actually become one of the most frequent posters in this topic. I must really love subjecting you to my strange tales.

Anyway, good MSN moment from recently:

= Me
= Friend

: I'm reading the manual for Guitar Hero 3.
It says 'don't stand on the controller'.
How helpful.
: Gee whiz, thanks red octane!

...Another quote from my girlfriend, in Algebra this morning (again).

me, Allisa

I swear we need to make Andy a General Wallace cosplay, and drag him to OMG!Con with us.
Yeah, we do. Then we could listen to him clank everywhere.
Pfft. With us, Ed, Preston, and Andy, that would be Kristoph, three ninjas, and a knight.
...That would be THE most messed up trial EVER.

---

An EXTREME game of Pick up Sticks happened 2 days ago (Not like that. I mean that the game was intense. Get your mind out of the gutter)

= Me
= The girl I like.
= Another girl, who was playing.
= A friend of mine, also playing
= A guy who wasn't playing so much as inviting himself to play.

:My turn! (Bats at a stick, and gets it without moving another stick)
: Like a Racoon!
(Flicks a stick into the air, still not moving another stick)
: Like a Bear, getting lunch from the stream.
: (Bends the stick getting stick, and lifts another slowly, with the stick getting stick)
: Like a beautiful Ninja.
: Ok. Let's do this... (Starts to aim for another stick...)
: Wouldn't it be funny if someone said "Like a dodo" and she missed?
:(As she lifts up the next stick, she moves twelve other sticks)
:...(Pats her on the back.)
: Like a dodo.

---

This happened at lunchtime today:

= Me
= My friend (Because his name is Matt and he's blonde. Not because he's anything like Engarde. Thank God.)
= Other guy

(doing a maths practice paper) I can't even remotely begin to answer this question. Stiles, can you look it up? It was written by a 'Shaun Armstrong'.

(googles it) It says here that Shaun Armstrong was recently convicted of the murder of Rosie Palmer, a three-year-old.

: Our maths paper has been written by a child killler!

(Later on)

: (still on the same question) Argh! Why is it impossible to find angle ADO?

: Well, the paper was written by a child killer.

(laughing) You're right, he would want to make things difficult.

= Me
= Guy friend 1
= Guy friend 2, AKA my crush
= my friend Jess.

Set-up: We're all hanging in Jess's dorm doing stupid impressions of characters from games and shows.

"Jess. Jess. Do the impression."
-Mimics Manfred von Karma as the dinosaur from Meet the Robinsons.- "OBJERKSHUN! I have a big head and little arms and I don't think that plan was very well thought out master."
"Wait...what was that?"
"Manfred von Karma."
"...Oh oh! Mitz! Do that one impression!"
"Which one?"
"The Shen one."
-Musters up best Shen Woo voice.- "COME ON BEEYOTCH! I HAS A SHIV!"
"A shiv?"
"I didn't get it."
"Wrong Shen?"
"Yeah. Do the one where you said 'this is what happens when Shen Woo plays DDR.'"
-Does a more hysterical Shen voice.- "THE ARROWS ARE TOO FAST! TAG OUT! TAG OUT! DAMNIT!"
"That made me think of Family Guy."
"Chris, Peter impression. Do your Peter impression."
-Mimics Peter Griffin's voice.- "Hurrhurrhurr. Lois! Lois! Pull my finger!"
"..." -Facepalm.- "John. You're the only one who didn't do one yet. Just do one from out of nowhere."
-Takes a deep breath and then mimics Ed Elric.- "IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII'M NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT SHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORT!"
-Roar with laughter.-
-Sudden mimicking of Al Elric.- "But 'big brother'! You can't prove that."
-Sudden mimicking of what we think Ema would sound like.- "Not...scientifically speaking."
-Sudden mimicking of Apollo.- "Yes he can! MEASURING TAPE!"

---

Me
Friend

Hey, Matt, want my rice?
I'd love to, but I'm kind of on a diet. Don't want to get fat.
Hey, rice is good for diets! Just look at all those skinny Asian people out there!
...OK! *Eats rice*

---

ROFLCOPTERRR!!! Rice doesn't make you thin... LMAO!!!!

Unless, you eat the Indian ponni rice~

---

Well, my friend chris is on Youtube...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jewBkMmVaxE

That's him doing the voices of Peter, Joe, Quagmire, Cleveland, and Stewie all playing World of Warcraft.

EDIT: ...and the other videos posted in that station are my other friends who co-own the game shop i go to ranting either about WoW or other stuff.

---

Yesterday, I was helping my gf with our algebra homework before the musical started.
me, Allisa

Yeah, so all you do is find the average, and then square root it.
See, that is an explanation I can understand.
I don't get it, you understand my lame instructions, but not Mrs. Lambert's "real" ones?
Well, Mrs. Lambert doesn't speak my language. You do. She can't speak Idiot, you see.

---

<< ^^ >>

---

Here's my friend Rachel speaking about Battlegrounds in World of Warcraft (Sorry, fellow nerds. She's taken, but not by me.):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mCChGC4zvc8

---

ROFLMAOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLYAYEAH!!

(9^_^)9

---

gjiorejfglfsj!! Double-post scukz~

---

= me
= my friend (cos she has hair like that)
On the way to P.E.
It's raining. Do we have an umbrella? I don't want to be soaking in P.E.
*takes out umbrella* here it is!
To the UmbrellaMobile!
Woo!
We need a themetune. Danananananananana
UMBRELLAS!