Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Mock Lawyer
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If People Are Basically Good, we don't need a Government; If people are basically Bad, then We Don't Dare Have One!
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I'm Tails' apprentice (possible with a British accent)
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Foolish Fool
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Anyway, in one lecture it was at its worse and his entire belly was on show, you could see the foul belly hairs. Everyone in class just tried no to make eye contact with it and giggled slightly to each other. Whereas one girl got so offended by it she left the room and had a slight panic attack over it.
funniest part was when the teacher was like
is she okay, why did she leave?
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Phff, You call this a Zombie apocalypse?
Gender: Male
Location: Ontario
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thatgamerguy wrote:
Dude what are you smoking? They are totally close. Try Mike Hunt or I. C. Weiner
Do you know how many times I had to say it before I thought "Oh its sounds a bit like that" Mike Hunt would be better....
Gyakuten Phoenix wrote:
Yeah, well maybe if I wasn't so much better than everyone else, I wouldn't have to talk about it so much.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
I'm ready Your Honor! :D
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Location: San Diego, CA
Rank: Medium-in-training
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Posts: 559
^ L from Death Note, but I edited it a little for me :]
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Guilty of being an AA addict
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: Math Teacher
: Kid
: Me : Ok, so how do you feed three kids with two potatos WITHOUT cutting the potatos up? : Hm........................ : Anyone? Hm.............. : Come on, people, gimme an answer! : Is it "Make Mashed potatos?" : (There's no way that's the answer....) : CORRECT! It seems someone has a sense of logic in this room!
I will take over Court-Records with my army of Klavier fanboys!
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Mock Lawyer
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Posts: 1013
If People Are Basically Good, we don't need a Government; If people are basically Bad, then We Don't Dare Have One!
You Need To Click This Now!
I'm Tails' apprentice (possible with a British accent)
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Gender: Female
Rank: Suspect
Joined: Tue Feb 19, 2008 12:09 am
Posts: 25
My Civics teacher
Jessica *comes back from the bathroom; still in the blackout* Are there emergency lights in the bathroom? No. Then how did you go? Well, I kind of did like Hellen Keller did. Just kind of felt around, sat down, and let it all out.Afterwards, we took an open-book test. The teacher left the room and some kids started talking. This isn't really a funny teacher thing, but it kinda miffed me off.
Me (don't ask why I'm using this smiley) Stupid boy #1
Stupid boy #2 & *sharing answers* You know, the teacher said we could use our notes. She never said anything about sharing answers. (I've always been the good girl.)
Man, do you really follow the rules THAT much?
What? You don't?!Oh, and a flashback from last year:
My super-awesome English teacher Now, I need you to list any medical conditions you may have. That way, if you have a seizure during class, we know it's perfectly normal.Ugh... I need science moments...
Interesting signature? Uh... Look, a diversion! *flees*
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Ready to RAWK!?
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Location: Ontario, Canada.
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Alicia Jewel wrote:
Man, today was a nightmare. During 6th period, the fire alarm went off for no reason... but that's not the point. After that, the power went out (weird city-wide 10-minute blackout).
I was once in a Blackout that lasted... you know, I don't even remember how long. All I remember was that it was more than a day, and our town was without power... scary times.
But your post ALSO reminded me of this!:
Me.
Tech lab Teacher. Girl in my class. Alright class, we were warned that a Blackout could happen at any moment from the weather conditions, so be sure to save your documents whenever possible.*Class murmurs in agreement*
2 minutes later...
*BZZT!*
(All computers and lights turn off)
*Class starts to speak loudly from the sudden shock*
Alright, alright. Everyone calm down, and get back to work.Class: .............................
*typing on a keyboard* Maya, that was a joke.
Oh. Whoops! What were you typing, anyways? I was in the middle of a conversation with someone on MSN! I was just typing that there was a blackout and I won't be on! .......Class: ........
....... ...... Phoenix, can you take her to the principal's office, since Chatting with people Online isn't allowed in this class?
Why do I have to take her?
I have a feeling that if she goes alone, she'll somehow end up getting hit by a car on her way there.The joke here is that all doors in the school that lead to the outside lock down in the case of a Blackout.
Posted by Request.
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Sig changed on December 08, 2008. Avatar changed on December 14, 2008.
Last edited by Wrestlemania on Sun Apr 13, 2008 5:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Gender: Female
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Man, I wish there was a topic for just random quotes... I've got a ton on my computer...
Oh, wait, this one's sort of related to teachers...
Same stupid boy from previous post.
8th grade science teacher (looking for an excuse not to write his paper) I hate Google. I was searching for Landsat (a sattlelite) and it gave me pudding! What's next, are you gonna look up Sir Issac Newton and get Santa Claus? Yeah, about that...Corny math joke time!
Geometry teacher who thinks he's funny. Some people say pies are round, but everyone knows pie are square!(This makes more sense if you know the formula for the area of a circle.)
Ugh. I needa start bringing a tape recorder to school or something. >.<
EDIT: I was reading my old blog, and I found this! I'm too tired to smiley-fie it, so I'm just gonna C&P from the blog.
"The other day, my science teacher was telling us this story about her crazy cat who, believe it or not, is on medication. The following is from the point of view of my science teacher.
I had just given my cat her medication before I went to bed. I'd had a long day. Suddenly, my husband shook me awake, saying, "Honey, wake up! We're gonna be late! It's ten minutes pase time to leave!"
I groaned and got out of bed, then realized that the time was, indeed, 7:50 AM. I ran to my daughter's room and shook her awake. We all ran around the house, trying to get ready in time. I turned off all the lights in the house, went outside to turn off the porch light...
And it was pitch-black.
"Now, that's weird..." I thought. "It's 8:00 in the morning. It shouldn't be dark!" So, I looked up to see stars in the sky. I figured something was up. I ran to my car and asked my daughter to check the time on the dashboard. Her answer shocked me:
"2:59?"
Turns out my crazy cat had knocked off the alarm clock and unplugged it early the previous night. My husband plugged it back in and didn't reset it. For almost seven hours...
The moral of this story?
My science teacher's cat is CRAZY! "
Interesting signature? Uh... Look, a diversion! *flees*
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Ready to RAWK!?
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Posted by Request.
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Sig changed on December 08, 2008. Avatar changed on December 14, 2008.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
I just don't care, so give it a break
Gender: Male
Location: Half Jack
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"Now, please don't make any messes in here. I don't want the desks to be stained or sticky. I mean, it's not like I just barge into your house and shit on your carpet."
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Spriting phailure
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Rank: Prosecutor
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Teacher, 
guy in class Okay, so the table's listing how many blocks the students have for school, so I guess you'd just list them all down and start finding the mode-- Uh, Mrs. Lambert? ::not listening:: --but this is weird, why would you only go to school for one or two blocks a day? MRS. LAMBERT! ::waving hand in air:: It's blocks FROM school, not classes! ...Oh. Right. I knew that.
I have many yaoi OTPs which overlap... And most of which involve the Gavins.
I do write/support yuri and het from time to time though.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Lives in a box mansion
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Cue havoc.
Fifth Period-Italian class
- Annoying kid in my class who the teacher dislikes because he never does much at all.
- Teacher Right. So sometimes reflexive verbs don't sound right at all in Eng---[name], what do you have there? ...*attempts to hide balloon* Nothing.... I know you have something there. Take it out before I call the principal. Okay, Okay. *Takes out balloon with stupid face drawn on* Put the balloon over there. But he's my friend! His name is Fred! D: Now. No! I'll be good, please! [name], Put it away. Now. B...But! No! Please! I'd advise putting that away right now, unless you want me telling your parents about your new friend on the phone right now, and I believe Fred is one of those kids your mom doesn't like you hanging out with.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Bronze Samurai
Gender: Male
Rank: Ace Attorney
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Posts: 1711
Science teacher
kid (don't ask why)(we're talking about stars)
That one looks like a rat's head! I wouldn't exactly be talking about rat's heads, if I were you.In Honors English
(we're studying poems here)
immature kid Teach
Class Me This book is innapropriate. *goes over to show her* See? the poem is "Boy parts, Girl parts!" So? It's poetry. *flips to a new page* What about this one? Hmm..."Consider the Anus"... Now class, this is a perfect example of opening your mind to poetry. The poets are un-censored and will write things for the mature. We can't be going around "complaining" about poems that seem innapropriate.Not that I'd let you write that or anything...
*Mumbles about it being unfair, double standards, etc* Hey, these are professonals! If I let you write what they write, I'd have to start accepting five year olds in here!
Julia...<3
Related to NaturallyLazy, fatalfeline, JadeRoach, and Game Over!
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Spriting phailure
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director, choir director, 
Me and various pit members Okay, guys, opening night is TOMORROW, so hopefully you know the music by now... What if we don't? ...Then cry. Hey, can we go through curtain calls one more time? NOOOOOO! ::sick of curtain call music:: Please? No. Well... Too bad. I said so.
I have many yaoi OTPs which overlap... And most of which involve the Gavins.
I do write/support yuri and het from time to time though.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
I seized fate by the neck alright...
Gender: Female
Location: Stalking K'.
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= Chem professor
= Me = one of my classmatesTo set up the scene: we're in his office and he's just led me to a little room to let me make-up my quiz.
"Alright. I'll leave it here if you're not in." "Good." -Closes the door.- "Whatever you do, don't lock her in." "I won't." "Remember not to lock her in." "If I was going to lock her in, I would have locked the door to that little room she's in and gave a crazy supervillain laugh." -Thinking- "...Now that's a scary thought. OH CRAP MOLALITY..."
There are no heroes left in man. Mankind is doomed by the likes of you.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Giant Enemy Crab
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"Wait, why are we talking about heroin?"
It would have been so much more awkward if I wasn't familiar with how off-topic the discussions can get.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Gender: Female
Rank: Medium-in-training
Joined: Mon Apr 14, 2008 2:43 pm
Posts: 418
Last year in jazz band, we were taking the class off so we could get everyone's marching band outfits taken care of. One of our female trombone players needed a larger pair of pants...
- band director - our drummer "Yeah, instead of an extra-extra-extra-extra-extra-extra small, she needs an extra-extra-extra-extra-extra small." "How the hell would you know what size pants she wears?"This year in band:
*band plays a beautiful final chord in a song*
*grins* "That was beautiful! That chord is better than drugs! In fact, if I could shoot that up my veins, I would!"(And then a couple classes ago, the band shirts we ordered came in. He was passing them out, and came to one that belonged to a tuba player. Instead of passing it to the front row and having us pass it back, he chucked it to the back of the room, where it landed in the bell of the player's tuba.)
Last year in freshman science:
- one of my classmates
- my science teacher "What are you doing to Andrew?" *helping Andrew with homework* "Probably something you'd like me to do to you!"
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Spriting phailure
Gender: Female
Location: Owensboro KY
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Posts: 936
me, director Oh, come ON! Why can't I have the trumpet part for our full-orchestra piece, and learn it on my clarinet? I suppose you could, but then you'd have to like, throw your violin down and pick up your clarinet or something between parts. ...That works.
I have many yaoi OTPs which overlap... And most of which involve the Gavins.
I do write/support yuri and het from time to time though.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
I seized fate by the neck alright...
Gender: Female
Location: Stalking K'.
Rank: Medium-in-training
Joined: Thu Apr 19, 2007 2:39 pm
Posts: 516
= Dr. M. [History professor]
= Classmate 1 = Classmate 2 = meSet up: We were talking about what time he was going to let us out of class.
"How about six-thirty?" "Seven 'o clock." "Six forty-five?" "Seven." "I'll bet you this Hershey bar on my desk six fifty-five." "You're on. I still say seven. And I'm always right because I'm the professor." "We'll see, Doc M. But I know that a lot of people will skip to go to the festival." "And they're going to miss World War II. It's epic!" "And it's a whole awesome chapter that we'll have as epic awesomeness." "You've earned a cookie, missy." "Does it have sprinkles?" "No sprinkles." -Puts a handdrawn picture of a cookie on my desk.- "There. Cookie." "You make me wish I were a history major."
There are no heroes left in man. Mankind is doomed by the likes of you.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
(ace attorney gremlin mode activated)
Gender: Female
Rank: Ace Attorney
Joined: Tue Aug 07, 2007 8:29 am
Posts: 2566
: Me
: English Teacher Another Student : [reading from a text] "... and then the clouds opened up, and it poured like waterfalls onto the group of boys." : Now, before I read any farther, I'm going to ask an easy question: What does water do? : It... falls? : ... ... [class] : ... ...
: Yes, EVERYTHING falls. Try again. : It clenses? : Correct! : *sniff*I have these moments when people ask me questions, I state the obvious.
But I could of answered that question.
:<
My (not spoiler-free) Ace Attorney doodle blog
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Spriting phailure
Gender: Female
Location: Owensboro KY
Rank: Prosecutor
Joined: Fri Feb 29, 2008 7:02 pm
Posts: 936
Anyway, last night at musical...
director, me, Alex Good thing you're all wearing dark clothes. Now all I'll see is Katie's shining hair, and Alex's nose. ><;; That's my skin that glows... Wait, are you saying I have a big nose? Uh... Maybe?
I have many yaoi OTPs which overlap... And most of which involve the Gavins.
I do write/support yuri and het from time to time though.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Gender: None specified
Rank: Decisive Witness
Joined: Mon Mar 24, 2008 12:14 pm
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Me Teacher
video game fanboys(Art)
Since today is Friday, you can all have delicious cake if you work we-
THE CAKE IS A LIE! *snicker* ...what?Obviously, she didn't notice that she'd referenced a video game =P
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Dirtiest lil attorney ever!
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Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Gender: Female
Rank: Decisive Witness
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: Don't let the man bring you down!That's my calc teacher. He says priceless things every day but I can never remember them.
:Okay, now, spread and blow!Band director, after instructing us to halt (marching), spread out our legs and lift our horns up to the press box.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Lives in a box mansion
Gender: Female
Location: Making a blanket fort under the defense bench
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Bus driver Kid on bus Girl on bus HEY! GUESS WHAT? *points at kid* YOU'RE GAY!AND YOU'RE GAY! AND YOU'RE GAY! AND YOU'RE GAY! *this goes on for a while*
*says something to girl* HAY DAYLIN, STEVE (Bus driver) SAYS YOU'RE GAY! ..... :(
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Bronze Samurai
Gender: Male
Rank: Ace Attorney
Joined: Sat Mar 29, 2008 1:58 pm
Posts: 1711
: Me: Honors English teacher: Another kid: Another teacher*I walk over to my teacher, and hear this:*
: So anyway, my Gamertag is *says Gamertag* Well, my Gamertag is...: YOU HAVE A GAMERTAG???: Yes, I do, and so does Mrs. Violetta( ).: It's true, I play with her all of the time.: Maybe that's why you do so bad in school.: Uh, but she helps me with things!: Like throwing plasmas and things, right?:...Yeah.: Oh, you play Halo 3, then?: Yes.: That changes things! My Gamertag is *says Gamertag* *stares oddly, then walks away*
Julia...<3Related to NaturallyLazy, fatalfeline, JadeRoach, and Game Over!
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Teh insane Arteest
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Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
(ace attorney gremlin mode activated)
Gender: Female
Rank: Ace Attorney
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Posts: 2566
Quandtuniverse wrote:
I should bring my recorder to 7th period one of these days. My German teacher is always springing jokes on us. He has one for every occasion, it's actually kinda creepy sometimes.
And then bring it to Creative Writing (or to my English class), because Mr. Orders has an accent for every occasion XD
My (not spoiler-free) Ace Attorney doodle blog
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Ready to RAWK!?
Gender: Male
Location: Ontario, Canada.
Rank: Ace Attorney
Joined: Wed Oct 10, 2007 10:56 pm
Posts: 9051
As some may recall, my former Teacher tried to "Plagerize" a few of my slogans, and claim them as their own. I recently spoke with them again to ask how they were doing.
They told me that for a few days, they could no keep control of the class since that day. People share notes, and if he tries anything, they make fun of the guy for "Plagarizing another student's work".
It's funny how things work out though, ja?
They DID say, though, that lately they have gotten things back in working order... so I'm glad for that, personally...
Last thing I want to do is sit in front of a group of teenagers telling them it's wrong to use someone else's work, while defending someone who just did that to me...
I'd be Cannon Fodder for those teens! *shudders*
Posted by Request.
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Sig changed on December 08, 2008. Avatar changed on December 14, 2008.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Mock Lawyer
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Location: My United States of Whatever
Rank: Ace Attorney
Joined: Sat Sep 01, 2007 1:27 am
Posts: 1013
If People Are Basically Good, we don't need a Government; If people are basically Bad, then We Don't Dare Have One!
You Need To Click This Now!
I'm Tails' apprentice (possible with a British accent)
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Ready to RAWK!?
Gender: Male
Location: Ontario, Canada.
Rank: Ace Attorney
Joined: Wed Oct 10, 2007 10:56 pm
Posts: 9051
Posted by Request.
Sig by Elriel. Avatar taken from a YouTube video of Rawk Hawk's Theme.
Sig changed on December 08, 2008. Avatar changed on December 14, 2008.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Mock Lawyer
Gender: Male
Location: My United States of Whatever
Rank: Ace Attorney
Joined: Sat Sep 01, 2007 1:27 am
Posts: 1013
If People Are Basically Good, we don't need a Government; If people are basically Bad, then We Don't Dare Have One!
You Need To Click This Now!
I'm Tails' apprentice (possible with a British accent)
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Gender: Female
Rank: Suspect
Joined: Sun Feb 03, 2008 9:42 pm
Posts: 34
=Geometry teacher
=Kid 1=Kid 2
=Kid 3
=Kid 4 :*turns off lights* : -insert kids name here- you better turn back on that light before I turn your lights off. Permantly. : *explaining arcs of circles* : *reciting lines from Teminator* Get back to the chopper! : Now! :Do it! auuuuurgghhh! : .....Now after that wonderful performance over there by our mommas we will turn our attention back to arcs of circles or I will smash their heads inClass : O_O
She always refers to them as mommas I have no clue why
: Yo O.G. were you in the mafia at any point in your lifetime? : Yes Matthew I'm in the mafia, now do your worksheet.I'll try to remember more later
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
The Residential Dhampir
Gender: Male
Rank: Suspect
Joined: Mon Mar 24, 2008 3:49 am
Posts: 18
= Me = Teacher : So thats how you find the slope of a line.. : So when--- : You're never going to use this in real life ok? Now stop asking me.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Mock Lawyer
Gender: Male
Location: My United States of Whatever
Rank: Ace Attorney
Joined: Sat Sep 01, 2007 1:27 am
Posts: 1013
What if a guy draws a line on a wall and holds a gun to your head, saying, "Find the slope or die."
If People Are Basically Good, we don't need a Government; If people are basically Bad, then We Don't Dare Have One!
You Need To Click This Now!
I'm Tails' apprentice (possible with a British accent)
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Gender: None specified
Rank: Decisive Witness
Joined: Mon Mar 24, 2008 12:14 pm
Posts: 154
>_>
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Doesn't know how to ride a bike D:
Gender: Female
Location: Where do you live, bub? On Mars?
Rank: Medium-in-training
Joined: Thu Mar 06, 2008 2:29 pm
Posts: 470
Ice the frosty cat wrote:
...and why would a guy do that? It's not going to benefit him at all.
>_>
>_>
Haha, just humor him.
Actually, I'm just saying that because I found it kind of funny xD;
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
AKA Dr. Bokchoy
Gender: Male
Location: Ontario, Canada
Rank: Ace Attorney
Joined: Thu May 17, 2007 12:44 pm
Posts: 3035
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Mock Lawyer
Gender: Male
Location: My United States of Whatever
Rank: Ace Attorney
Joined: Sat Sep 01, 2007 1:27 am
Posts: 1013
Ice the frosty cat wrote:
...and why would a guy do that? It's not going to benefit him at all.
>_>
>_>
Scenario: A math teacher has for many years been told by students that math was useless. She couldn't take it anymore so she goes up to students and forces them to do math. She uses the media as a way to spread the news that people need math.
If People Are Basically Good, we don't need a Government; If people are basically Bad, then We Don't Dare Have One!
You Need To Click This Now!
I'm Tails' apprentice (possible with a British accent)
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