Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Moving on up!
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Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
1000% Knight
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And I couldn't just use the word 'ecstatic' in the first place b/c he's too crazy in general for that xD
Credit to Evolina for the sig+avatar!
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Ｍｙ Ｓｏｕｌ ★ Ｙｏｕｒ Ｂｅａｔｓ
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: Don't make me get the four founding fathers in here...
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Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
The master of Judging 64
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Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
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then my Teach is like: "Do you want me to fix your knob later?"
The whole class laughs! LOL
Teach: "I've been fixing knobs in this class for 10 years!"
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
NOW TAKE IT TO THE LAUNCH PAD!
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Teacher
Boy in Class Miss, one of our friends said we should nickname you Sabrina. What, am I a teenage witch or something?And in English...
and Two guys in class
Teacher*We were watching Romeo and Juliet, the Ziharo whatever version. We had gotten to the balcony scene. Romeo is staring hard at Juliet*
and *Whispers to each other and sniggers* NO, HE'S LOOKING AT HER EYES.*Everyone bursts out laughing*
Art by the talented Vickinator, thank you! ^_^
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Moving on up!
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Dahlia wrote:
My Biology teacher is epic.
Teacher
Boy in Class
Miss, one of our friends said we should nickname you Sabrina.
What, am I a teenage witch or something?
And in English...
and Two guys in class
Teacher
*We were watching Romeo and Juliet, the Ziharo whatever version. We had gotten to the balcony scene. Romeo is staring hard at Juliet*
and *Whispers to each other and sniggers*
NO, HE'S LOOKING AT HER EYES.
*Everyone bursts out laughing*
Teacher Boy in Class Miss, one of our friends said we should nickname you Sabrina. What, am I a teenage witch or something?And in English...
and Two guys in class Teacher*We were watching Romeo and Juliet, the Ziharo whatever version. We had gotten to the balcony scene. Romeo is staring hard at Juliet*
and *Whispers to each other and sniggers* NO, HE'S LOOKING AT HER EYES.*Everyone bursts out laughing*
Ah yes, the Zeferelli version. My friend told me once that there class actually got their teacher to keep rewinding that part. They told her they couldn't hear what was being said.
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Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Going fangirl over Larry Butz
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My homeroom teacher
Funny boy in class
Class Okay guys, I'm going to play the music. *puts on some music from the computer* *raises hand* Can we dance? I don't see why not! . . . C'mon guys! gets up to the front of the room and waves his arms around and shakes his butt =P See guys, if you go to the dance, then you'll get a piece of this *points at * lol
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Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Your Heresy Will Stay Your Feet
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Repede wrote:
Yes, I'm a dog that smokes a pipe and owns an Xbox Live account... So what?
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Ziggy Stardust
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Girl in class
Mrs. Nam *explains math lesson* Oh god No, it's Mrs. Nam. Close though.
Lousy sig made by me :3
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
1000% Knight
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: I can't believe this! A student is taking drugs right in front of me, and she's not even offering me any!(I swear my teacher said that xD of course, they weren't drug drugs, they were allergy medicine drugs)
Credit to Evolina for the sig+avatar!
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
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Annoying girl in my class Teacher Funny guy in my class
Teacher who lies. A LOT.---
*explains* I don't geeeet itttttttt >.< Shut up. Don't be bitchy.---
Did you hear? There was a guy who jumped off a 90ft building and LIVED! Oh yes, I - Yeah, it was Grey's cousin, actually.---
Did you know it's illegal to molest rubbish bins? Maya.....---
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Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
NOW TAKE IT TO THE LAUNCH PAD!
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Bad Player wrote:
:lana: : I can't believe this! A student is taking drugs right in front of me, and she's not even offering me any!
(I swear my teacher said that xD of course, they weren't drug drugs, they were allergy medicine drugs)
(I swear my teacher said that xD of course, they weren't drug drugs, they were allergy medicine drugs)
XD That's made of so much win.
Art by the talented Vickinator, thank you! ^_^
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Bronze Samurai
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Me Teacher
Class *wants everyone to announce who they want to peer edit their papers**Points at me*
I'd like you to do it. No, I'd like you to pick someone in the class But I want YOU. *laughs* MAN, I AM NOT THAT WAY! I HAVE A WIFE AND KID FOR GOD'S SAKES *Runs out of room*
Julia...<3
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Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
SonNeoKaku
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The name of this teach is better left unknown.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
The Modern Odysseus
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"When I lost to a high school dropout who had friends in the mob, I decided to quit politics. [. . .] If you ever want to run for office in Massachusetts, do NOT put an 'R' after your name."
-On his political career
"A couple things to keep in mind so that you don't look... ignorant next time. One, there's no such thing as a former Marine. Two, never call a Marine a soldier."
-Talking to the editor in chief of the school newspaper
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
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Credit to Evolina for the sig+avatar!
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
uh oh
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E.A.: I'm going to picton this weekend you want some spartans?
Teach.: nah, man I don't like spartans that much...
Kid: Are you talking about apples? :S
Teach.: No, Warriors.
LOL
-kid listening to ipod-
Teach.: if you don't turn that off right now I'm going to take it. put it in a sock and beat you over the head with it.
-Class laughs-
Teach.: No I'm serious. do you know how cool that would be to tell my buddies that I beat a kid with a ipod in a sock! :D
-kid takes teachers waterbottle and rubs his face on it-
Teach.: kid can you stop molesting my water now? I'm thristy.
there is more but I can't remember any right now.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Crime Scene Junkie
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Signora
Kid who shaved part of his head for halloween (XD Idiot) Annoying kid *Talking to * Are you making fun of 's hair Signora? He has no hair to make fun of!-------A bit Later---------
See your getting the lesson! You may have shaved your head and now look stupid but your getting the lesson! ...D:---------------------------
Another time
----------------------------
(signora) I wasnt making fun of you, i was mocking you.---------------------------
Another time
----------------------------
(Signora) you know i wanna teach torture 101. I dont think hanging some one is enough....ya know?
(Kid) I know! you should poke them with the eraser end of a pencil in their belly button!
(me)Thats a new one...
Not evil enough.
(other kid) Ive got one!! 
So you know how its illegal to kill praying mantis's? Well i think you could gather a bunch of them up and let them loose in someones house! Now THATS evil! *evil laugh* ....Yikes...i'd hate to be on her bad side...---------------------------
Another time
----------------------------
(Signora)So Swatch Watches are the official watches of the olympics...all the olympiads have them. Their pretty cool, their water proof and if you click a button on the side it glows! (me)Im pretty sure ALOT of watches do that... (A girl in the class) Oh i know about those watches! no you dont mary. stop lying. (Mary is the same girl who
called a sketch once XD)
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Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Lack of sleep sucks...
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: teacher
: friend : friend's girlfriend
: friend's girlfriend's friend------------------------------------------------
& *Are talking and laughing in class* Hey, I think he's steeling your girlfriend! Um... Thier siblings... ...................... Moving on.............
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
NOW TAKE IT TO THE LAUNCH PAD!
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Me My Drama Teacher Most annoying kid ever 
ClassNow, to understand this, our teacher had set us homework, and none of us had done it except for me. It was fairly pointless though. So...
Okay guys, I'm gonna make you a deal... *Keeps talking over her* ...New plan, everyone. We kill [name], hide the body and feign ignorance. Miss, I love that plan.
Wh-what?! LET'S DO IT, MISS!And earlier in the lesson, we had to form a circle holding hands, and my teacher was holding two boy's hands.
Boy Okay everyone, hold hands tight!...[name], why is your hand slightly...weird to feel? This is my special hand! I use it for special things!
... ...I'll be right back class. *Goes off for a few minutes, then returns and holds hands with two girls: Note that her hands seemed to have a large degree of soap on them*
Art by the talented Vickinator, thank you! ^_^
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
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: So if it feels like it's way too hard and over your head, it's because it is. Now let's get started! :D
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Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Putting the M in Cobalt
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~ Mr. WC(We were talking about politics for a few days after Tuesday. The subject drifted over to Sarah Palin walking into the White House.
pretends to be unbiased, but he's pro-Obama like hell XD) : "...Let's just get something straight: the moment Palin walks into the door.....well, okay, eventually, she would open it and go through it, too, but..."There was this one girl in my class who was bothering
, and she happened to have red hair and wear them in braided pigtails that day... : "You know, from now on, I'm calling you Wendy." The name stuck. XD;The other World Civ/US History/Philosophy/Logic(he's the only one who teaches the last two) teacher,
, gets into these incredibly epic arguments with all the time. There was this one time where they were talking about Logic(something having to do with "If A is B, and B is, C, then A is C. But why not the other way around?"), and then it quickly turned into an argument that lasted 4/5ths of the class period. XD;
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Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
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Japanese teacher----------------------
(We had to do this Venn diagram thing and he's giving an example. (I'm just gonna say Johnny because I forgot who exactly he was using as an example)
In this circle is Johnny, and in this circle is me. We are alike in some ways. We're both male, Korean, and have cool haircuts. But we're different in some ways, too. Johnny is handsome. Sensei is... not so handsome. Johnny is nice and fit. Sensei is... not so fit.--------------------
(Another time)
--------------------
This is "shukudai", [insert kid with bad grades here]'s favorite word!(shukudai means homework)
-------------------------------------------
World History teacher---------------------------------
Yeah, those Spartans were kickass. They had two jobs: making sure the slaves were in place and kicking ass.---------------------------------------------
Theater teacher Classmate---------------------------
(on the topic of Greek Theatre)
Man, I would've hated to be a guy in Ancient Greece. Especially in winter. Why's that? The Greeks didn't know what underwear was.
My CR family~ Mother: Naturally Lazy//Father: Phoenix_Apollo//Brothers: JadeRoach and Game Over
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Crime Scene Junkie
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My italian teacher Class------------
*goes over to the blackboard and writes something* "I have a very bad cold. I can't speak much"
*Adds to whats written*"And if you are cattivi (bad) I will cough on you"
....D:
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Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
SonNeoKaku
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= Teach*runs over to the blackboard and writes "PENIS"*
I just wrote something nasty on the blackboard!*erase it*
Anyway, the french revolution started...I still have no idea why this happened.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
The Cookie is the murder weapon.
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Electronics:
*attacks some random guy who nicked my stuff*
*teacher walks in* "...I'm not gonna ask *walks off*
---
Biology
"Where do we find fungi and bacteria?"
"CHEESE!"
"...I'm gonna have fun marking your mock exams."
---
Physics(the list of these is too long to remember them all)
"Maybe the ruler-ninjas from lesser Rulerdom came and stole your rulers."
-
Hey, I'M the one who does all the weird stuff!"
-
"You do realise i'm just seeing how long I can make you go 'yeah-umm..no-yeah!' for just by raising an eyebrow."
-
"Well seeing as it's cheaper, we're actually using second hand vasaline. The man who sold it to us wouldn't tell us where it came from..."
*O.o*
Thats all i can be bothered to type for now.
"The camera is glaring at me...*glares*"-Edgey
"...Think of the kittens!"-Pheonix
Actually, those quotes fit well together O.o
"...Think of the kittens!"-Pheonix
Actually, those quotes fit well together O.o
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
~There's Some Sorrow In Every Life~
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Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
UNDER CONSTRUCTION
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-Me-Algebra Teacher: I've never made a mistake in my life.: Really?: Well, there was one time I thought I made a mistake but I didn't actually.: Wait, wouldn't that mean you made a mistake of thinking you made a mis-: Shut up!===========================================
And in gym when we do streaches, one of them is tilting our heads up and then down and he always gives them different names...
-Gym teacher 
-Class: Where you want to go...*tilts head up* : *tilts heads up*: Where I'll be seeing you...*tilts head down* : *tilts heads down while laughing a little bit*
UNDER CONSTRUCTION
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
SonNeoKaku
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= Teach = random girl in class, let's call her Mary So anyway, what do you think about the election? (this was not this year's election) I think that... Shut the f**k up, Mary! You shouldn't be allowed to talk at all!! ......
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
NOW TAKE IT TO THE LAUNCH PAD!
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Teacher Me again! Random girl.(We were discussing mutated creatures...like how giraffes mutated with long necks and such? Anyhoo...)
Okay guys, let me put this in certain terms.*A picture flashes on the projector. It shows a normal turtle and then an arrow from the turtle to the Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles*
Okay, we've all seen Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles, right? No. LIES! YOU'VE GOT THE BOX SET AT HOME, I BET, YOU LITTLE FIBBER! Anyway, they got dumped in some slime and became super walking talking ninja pizza loving turtle- *Opens mouth* No [name], you can't sing the theme song. ;_;And in Chemestry...
Teacher. Random boy. Class.*Teacher presses a button and the picture changes to a rugged shirtless man climbing*
Okay, here's a guy climbing up a wall of rock with a rope of nylon... Sir, is that you when you were younger? Ah, well, I haven't had a body like that since... .....
...Never.XD
Art by the talented Vickinator, thank you! ^_^
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Itz s-u-p-e-r-n-a-t-u-r-a-l...really.
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Oh, yes. This was one of those misunderstandings that happen so often, but this particular teacher enjoyed taking things a little too far.
Kid: Here's my note, Miss.
Teacher: Ah, thank you. You may sit back down.
*Around a minute or so later*
Teacher: Mr Tyne, would you come with me? (Mr Tyne was the kid)
Kid: Uh, ok.
They walk into the resource room.
Class: *start talking.*
*Loud scream.*
Teacher: *From inside resource room, immediately after scream* Oh, the note said excuse!
The teacher was joking about because the note said 'execte' (Mrs Tyne was obviously very rushed in the morning). Funny, funny Science teachers.
Oh, and another one.
R.E teacher: Would you all stop dissing Jesus! He's born, you get presents. He dies, you get candy! Do you really want to make that stop?
Another...
We were doing a school play (Annie, I think), and there was this song called 'Little Girls'. The music teacher came in when we were rehearsing and said 'Ok, let's do little girls'. Unfortunately, the teacher had to explain what he had meant to the Head (who was listening in from outside).
Another one...
Another time our R.E teacher's wife was a couple months pregnant and he was researching what his baby was like at this point in it's development. All of a sudden he blurts out in the middle of class, "Wow, I have a 6 inch zuchinni". Apparently the site he was on told him that is how big and what size his kid was.
And another. Again, to do with music.
It was at a choir rehearsal and the conductor was working on a song where the girls were singing words and the guys were singing ho. He said at least twice "Come on boys, slide up into those ho's" 200 kids were crying they were laughing that hard.
The same teacher tends to call the flute section "fluties." One day one of the boys asked, "If the flutes are the fluties, what are the horns?"
Ok, I'm done. For now. I will probably find some more, like, tomorrow and post them too
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Otaku, #1 Machi fan, #2 Machi Fan
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MissJellybean wrote:
Kid: Here's my note, Miss.
Teacher: Ah, thank you. You may sit back down.
*Around a minute or so later*
Teacher: Mr Tyne, would you come with me? (Mr Tyne was the kid)
Kid: Uh, ok.
They walk into the resource room.
Class: *start talking.*
*Loud scream.*
Teacher: *From inside resource room, immediately after scream* Oh, the note said excuse!
The teacher was joking about because the note said 'execte' (Mrs Tyne was obviously very rushed in the morning). Funny, funny Science teachers.
Teacher: Ah, thank you. You may sit back down.
*Around a minute or so later*
Teacher: Mr Tyne, would you come with me? (Mr Tyne was the kid)
Kid: Uh, ok.
They walk into the resource room.
Class: *start talking.*
*Loud scream.*
Teacher: *From inside resource room, immediately after scream* Oh, the note said excuse!
The teacher was joking about because the note said 'execte' (Mrs Tyne was obviously very rushed in the morning). Funny, funny Science teachers.
Heh. There's a classic one.
ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOGANT
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
It Burns!
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Me: I see.
Mr S.: You sound like a pirate.
Me: ...
I didn't get it then.... I still don't get it.
In Soviet Russia, Coffee drinks you.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Itz s-u-p-e-r-n-a-t-u-r-a-l...really.
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thehypnoticllama wrote:
Mr S.: I've submitted your entry already.
Me: I see.
Mr S.: You sound like a pirate.
Me: ...
I didn't get it then.... I still don't get it.
Me: I see.
Mr S.: You sound like a pirate.
Me: ...
I didn't get it then.... I still don't get it.
Ah, teachers and their delusional ideas of what pupils find funny. Oh, and I have another few stories as well
.There was a guy in my class whose parents had bought him a pair of super-huge wide leg pants with drawstrings at the bottom. Somehow, he had managed to scrunch the legs up well above the dress code limit for shorts. The teacher was having a pretty bad day, and when the guy walked in, he blurted out "Mr Johnson, pull your pants down right now!" I, realizing the teacher had left the word "legs" out of the sentence, immediately cracked back with "But sir, aren't you married?" We got absolutely nothing else accomplished in that lesson.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
We were working on a new piece and the flutes (including me) were fingering through a passage that was bugging us. We were making a lot of noise right in front of the music teacher so she said "Flutes, finger don't blow" Once again, no work was completed that lesson.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Another time, the music teacher was focusing on breathing and posture, so she was telling us how to sit properly. She said, "Sit up, straight and tall, but relaxed." What do we hear? "Sit up, straight and tall, butt relaxed." I don't think she even realised what we were laughing about. Actually, I don't think half of the class realised what we were laughing about. But anything is a good excuse to get out of music.
And, because you might be wondering why all these are about music, our music teachers (we have two or sometimes three each term) are the funniest of the lot, and they always say things that could be interpreted in other, funnier, ways.
Last edited by MissJellybean on Sun Nov 23, 2008 3:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Moving on up!
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MissJellybean wrote:
We were working on a new piece and the flutes (including me) were fingering through a passage that was bugging us. We were making a lot of noise right in front of the music teacher so she said "Flutes, finger don't blow" Once again, no work was completed that lesson.
Our band director when I was in 6th grade told us that our homework was to "go home, sit in front of the tv, and finger your instrument."
Yeah, that has to be the funniest thing that teacher ever said. He used to make up werid lyrics to the songs we would play too.
Thanks to Blinq for the awesome sig. Click the sig, see my stuff.
Edgeworth/Maya Community. A friends, as lovers, as part of OT3s. All Welcome.
"Yeah, I wouldn't go asking random guys if you can lick their penor." crouton December 2009
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Gender: None specified
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Mrs. W: Get out a sheet of paper, students. We're going to be recording the Preamble.
Class: K. *does so*
Mrs. W: Four score and seven years ago ...
Class: *begin to lose faith in our educational system*
Mrs. W: And what kind of animals are found in Australia, stuuudents?
Class: Marsupials.
Mrs. W: Like kangaroos! Kangaroos go hoppity hop! *demonstrates*
Class: WTF
Mrs. W: And don't talk too loudly on our way to the media center, students ...
*pulls map of globe away from the board to reveal "I will hunt you down" written in marker"
Mrs. W: *to tune of Mariah Carey song* Or ~*~I will hunt you down~*~
Class: ??!?!!?!?!? /DEAD
Kay, you might want to tone the ruffling down a bit.
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Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Itz s-u-p-e-r-n-a-t-u-r-a-l...really.
Gender: Female
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Lunaria42 wrote:
MissJellybean wrote:
We were working on a new piece and the flutes (including me) were fingering through a passage that was bugging us. We were making a lot of noise right in front of the music teacher so she said "Flutes, finger don't blow" Once again, no work was completed that lesson.
Our band director when I was in 6th grade told us that our homework was to "go home, sit in front of the tv, and finger your instrument."
Yeah, that has to be the funniest thing that teacher ever said. He used to make up werid lyrics to the songs we would play too.
Yes...weird lyrics...my teachers like to do that as well...especially that song Twelve Days of Christmas or something...let me see if I can remember it.
...
...
.....
Okay, I can't, but it was pretty damn funny. Although, everything she sang in the song, she gave us for homework over the Christmas break
I might be able to remember it later...
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
In The Middle of It Now
Gender: None specified
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Teach. Me.
Chav with an X shaved in hair (draws a triangle on the board and labels a side X) Baris, get up here and find X. (Draws a circle round the letter X) There it is. WRONG! (tackles off his chair, over two tables, holds his hair up!) There it is! DETENTION! Fair enough. Teach. Me.
Head. Baris, solve this algebra problem. Too hard. Fo Shizzle? My Bizzle, sir. Wrestling Match? Sure.(We fight, sir is about to slam me down when...)
(bursts in room) HEY Sorry miss, we were just DO NOT FIGHT IN THE CLASSROOM WITHOUT ME (throws a broom)Yeah, the fact that my Maths Teacher is my Cousin is FUN.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Moving on up!
Gender: Female
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Prosecutor Manella wrote:
:Yeah, the fact that my Maths Teacher is my Cousin is FUN.
Wow, they actually let your cousin be your math teacher. I'm sure in our school system that wouldn't be allowed. Does he always give you a hard time?
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