This... this is probably going to sound like a heap of emo BS. But it's the way it is. Over the past few months, I've slowly been coming to realize that my life is, as I know it, fairly pathetic. I have only a few friends, some of whom I've drifted apart from. I don't get very much physical activity, and I spend what is likely an unhealthy amount of time each day on the computer. I don't have the actual willpower to work hard on something I want to help with. I feel like something worthless wherever I go, just there but not contributing at all.

My interests are limited to computers and videogames. Even books, my once-favorite pastime, have fallen to the wayside, in part due to the fact I am no longer allowed to read something 'non-adult.' I have to read adult fiction and novels or my parents consider it a waste of time and money, and that I'm 'too old for' it. Ergo, I cannot read teen fiction or any other sort of thing I might want to check out, even if it's below my reading level. Physically, I can't stand sports, and I can't play most of them, either. I was born with extremely bad joints and bones and contact sports and the like could break something very badly very easily.

I think what really is getting to me is the realization that the only thing keeping me together in the school year was school itself. Then I could focus on it, I had something I had to do all the time, I could justify my computer time as a break from working. Now in the summer, I find myself without anything to do, and I'm beginning to hate myself for it. I joined a subbing group as a part-time quality checker, but I'm not very good at it and I have to keep it a secret from my family, who would ridicule me if they found out.

I just can't shake this feeling of depression I've been having. I know I should get out with my friends more, that I should be down at the park throwing frisbees or something, but I never do. I feel worthless and lazy, and I probably am. I spend upwards of four hours a day on the computer, I'd guess, probably more. Even when we went up to our cabin for the Fourth of July, the most I did was get out to swim.

I need advice on how to get out of this rut I'm stuck in. The worst part is that even though I know I should get out more and the like, I end up knowing that I'd hate it if I did. Visits to my friends usually just end up being sitting around and talking or at most heading down to the park - and sitting around and talking. I can't stand sports, like I mentioned before, and I haven't had summer classes in anything for years. I used to take lessons in art, music, and computers, but I just got bored of them and stopped taking them. I need some way to get myself out and active and away from the computer. Advice?

---

Dude, you're not worthless. I think the biggest step in feeling better and more confident in yourself is acknowledging that. I don't know you at all; don't know how you tick, but if this has been a really long-term problem, I'd seek medical help or guidance.

I don't have much to offer in the way of advice, but what you're describing sounds a lot like the situation I was in a couple years back, and what worked best for me was taking guidance programs at my school. Most of the time they're not really specific or path-driven, but it's good to have an outlet to talk about what's bugging you.

I'm really sorry I can't help any better, but I hope you feel better >_>

---

Firstly, you have to stop putting yourself down. Everything starts with a positive attitude.. sorry to sound cliche but it's true. If you don't like sports, there are other ways of becoming active.. like riding a bike, going for a walk or a jog. Just think that if others can do it, then so can you. I always tell myself that and it keeps me focused. Nothing's impossible :)

As for your lack of interest in more "grown up" books, try to venture out a bit. There are millions of books out there, chances are that there must be more than a few that can pique your interest.

---

...This is going to sound weird and perhaps irrelevant, but...Try looking into some community service? >> It sounds like you have major self-esteem problems, so doing something to help out in your community might make you feel more useful. And it would make you get a bit more out there and be active without having to be too active, and it doesn't have to be stressful or difficult.

---

You don't need to be physically active to have a social life. Hell, if everyone just went out to the park and made small talk all day, the internet would probably rot up and die from lack of use. I'd say to just lounge around until classes pick up again, or else get a summer job.


You're really not much different from most students during a long break, though that's to be expected; a key reason schools are usually 6 - 8 hours long is to prepare future workers to be away from home (working) for roughly the same amount of time. Getting a break from that makes it seem odd because you've broken a cycle, so simply getting into something that can keep you busy for a few hours can help, which for most people means going away on vacation or getting a summer job.


Of course, you could just wait it out as you are until school starts again, but that's just what I'd do.

---