Now then! Why am I awesome? Heh. Well I'll tell you! First of all, I'm a damn musician. I play the manliest instrument of them all. The saxophone. By initially playing the saxophone, I can play ANY member of the sax family in theory. Of course in theory means I CAN do it since I'm the best at anything that I do. Any other instruments you ask? Well I play the second manliest instrument of all. The guitar. Stairway to Heaven? More like Escalator to My House! That songs so easy I can play it underwater. How can I do such an amazing feat? Well, you don't even need to ask cause I've already explained how beastly I can be once I unlock my full potential.
*Sexy Hair Flip*

What else can I do? I'm trained in the coveted art of persuasion. I can manipulate ANYBODY into doing ANYTHING for me. Customer at work deciding between two kinds of apples? I be like: MAng! Get both! And of course they listen to my words. My silver tongue is made of the most polished silver.

Haters are like: "Yo man, Blak can't get a girl. He muss be gay." Do I hear them snickering behind my back? Well I don't like it.
To which I reply: "Guys, chill. The reason why I can't get a girl is simply because they can't handle my Alpha nature. I'm just too much man for them, so in order to overcome the hardship of not being able to become one with me they resort to boys like you who have much to learn about being a man. One day, a girl who equals me both ability and looks will ride up to me on a majestic mythical beast and extend her to me. By taking her hand as an equal, an equally awesome creature of ancient lore will manifest itself underneath my form and we will fly gloriously in the direction of the setting sun."

The hooligans hang their head in shame as I stride off and go about my schooling.
You say I don't have friends? That couldn't be further from the truth. In fact at this very moment, I've friends that span the globe and cover many timezones. I can sleep soundly KNOWING that a friend of mine is in another part of the world doin their own feats of splendor.
That very thought calms me down, and maintains my superiority complex at approved levels.

(Since there is no poster above me): Court-Records, you so fly! Without you then there would be no Court-Records. It's the truth since if you weren't here then I wouldn't have been able to make this thread that makes me feel better. So by you being here, I can bring the Feels to the denizens of Court-Records and rest soundly at night while my friends can give each other embraces to symbolize the love between them.