High level play
Gender: Male
Location: Netherlands
Rank: Ace Attorney
Joined: Mon Nov 12, 2012 1:37 pm
Posts: 1173
Thelema wrote:
Guys, I'm feeling so bored it hurts.
I'm not exaggerating. The boredom is starting to feel physically painful to me.
Since this COVID shit started, I've been locked up at home for most of the time. My routine has definitely changed and it won't be going back to normal any time soon (especially when it comes to college).
I ask people who are in similar situations what they have been doing, and I always get the same kind of answer: "I've been focusing on stuff like drawing or cleaning up my room", "I have been trying to learn a new language", "I have been reading", "I have been watching TV".
Guys, I love doing these things - I genuinely like them. But I feel despair when I think things like these will have to fill almost 100% of my daily time from now on, for months and months. I miss a little bit of social interaction. Actually, I don't know what it is that I miss so much (being honest with myself, I haven't been seeking social interaction). Maybe I miss having the FREEDOM to go wherever TF I want. I miss not "having to" stay at home. I miss how things were before this shit came along destroying everything.
I know I shouldn't do this, but during the last days or so I have been taking anti-anxiety pills to relieve my boredom (when I'm sedated, I don't feel as agitated and bored). I have been sleeping more than I naturally do, because in my mind sleeping more = less time awake feeling bored. I have been posting compulsively on forums (like this one) where everything is calm, quiet and people are too slow to reply.
In short, I don't know what to do. I don't even know what is making me so agitated, bored and dissatisfied with my leisure time options. Maybe this is an exaggeration but I genuinely feel like COVID-19 is one of the worst things that happened to my life.
We all feel the mental drain the lockdown and COVID put on our daily lives. Even simple interactions at the supermarket have changed to the point you always have to be aware of people around you to avoid them (social distancing).Normally you would go around doing your business and pay them really no mind unless its necessary for some reason. In addition you have people who completely disregard the social distancing rules, which causes frustration in it's own right.
These changes seeped in a lot of normal outings. Not to mention the dissappointment that everything that got planned is cancelled, a LOT is happening in the world right now and people are getting more anxious collectively.
For me I've been focussing on my physical health and catching up on some games I've been meaning to play, which is great, but I'm feeling I lose my sanity slowly as the months progress. Probably because my friends are all getting hitched up/or kids and my GF broke up during the pandemic. It's hard to fully close the chapter when it's nearly impossible to meet new people right now.
However, when I look back at my life I wouldn't say this pandemic is the worst time of my life. Its a struggle, but I'm at a point where I am experienced and being able to handle it. I know what tools to use to combat my anxiety and resolve my issues.
So my advise would be to reflect on your situation. Similar struggles and your experiences with them help you identify the points you could work on. Or on the flip side: try to find something something you can work on with passion. In my case I noticed 2 major things during the pandemic:
1: I was inside my house way to much, especially since I'm working from home
2: I really miss social interaction with friends and family
After a while I found some salvation from these problems. For point 1 I started biking around the neighbourhood and for point 2 I deeply dived into the world of Dungeons & Dragons with friends (and my cousin). I also resumed visiting friends and family (with washing hands and proper distance)
This is mending the problem and not fixing it, I know. The lockdown and all it's associated problems won't go away for a while, so that freedom will be restricted.
Finally, I understand the need to use your medication to deal with the 'boredom'. To be honest I also bought some extra de-stressing natural product which is associated with the Netherlands. It is not wrong to have vices as long the substance doesn't control you or your performance. If you take (more) medication for the purpose of relieving boredom then that sounds like a slippery slope to addiction. Look what you should use and cut down when necessary. Especially, during the pandemic you have to be vigilant regarding your physical en mental health.
Face your emptiness don't be afraid. Breathe in and out, follow the lines in your hand. The danger is often smaller than your fear. If you dont know what is true, what motivates you or who you are: you are closer to the core than you realise