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| Author: | Lana_Skyes_Heart [ Tue Apr 22, 2008 2:12 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Funny things your teacher has said? |
Well, this isn't in school, but my guitar teacher is really something. xD  Guitar Teacher Me So...you go up the 2nd fret and pull off to the 4th? Yup, remember to use your "peace finger" when you do that. What's the peace finger? *intentionally sticks middle finger up*XD... |
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| Author: | thatgamerguy [ Tue Apr 22, 2008 2:14 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Funny things your teacher has said? |
 Spanish Teacher Girl in Class    ClassWe were doing seat moves. Okay, anyone want to move seats? " does!" No, likes it in the back. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA What did I say?
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| Author: | Regy Rusty [ Tue Apr 22, 2008 2:39 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Funny things your teacher has said? |
thatgamerguy wrote: THATS NOT TRUE! What if a guy draws a line on a wall and holds a gun to your head, saying, "Find the slope or die." This is why I always keep a bowl of strawberries in the refrigerator. 
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| Author: | thatgamerguy [ Tue Apr 22, 2008 4:21 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Funny things your teacher has said? |
But what if he has pancakes? |
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| Author: | Balrog [ Tue Apr 22, 2008 10:53 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Funny things your teacher has said? |
thatgamerguy wrote: :udgy: Spanish Teacher Girl in Class ClassWe were doing seat moves. Okay, anyone want to move seats? " does!" No, likes it in the back. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA What did I say?AH HA HA HA HA HA. That made my mourning, thanks XD |
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| Author: | Bombom Dubbie [ Tue Apr 22, 2008 7:25 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Funny things your teacher has said? |
Me Friend 1 Friend 2 Art teacher 1 Art teacher 2(In a car, no-one spoke and we were going to a friend's wedding. I was bored as hell...) Hey We should do something that we usually do. What is that? Wave to random people on the streets! Hahahahaha!! Oh god. We should really kick you out of the car and leave you in the tunnels.-------------------------------- (Some time later) Let's play another game! Oh god... Are you bored again?-------------------------------- (:maya: took my scarf for 3 months!) You'll have to pay me for using my scarf or I'll beat you when we get home! God, you're a monster outside college, Dubbie!Yeah, my art teacher 2 loves to insult me xD Oh yeah...my old music teacher said this to me in the morning one time right in front of my younger sister... "Hi horrible." |
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| Author: | Quandtuniverse [ Wed Apr 23, 2008 1:09 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Funny things your teacher has said? |
 In my time people didn't go to the bathroom!Also, not a quote but I had a sub the past two days who at the very beginning of class on Monday pretended to be from some country near Russia using a fake accent. Half the class fell for it :P  = Creative Writing teacher I've just invented a new word. *writes on board* Clichedar!
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| Author: | Phoenix_Apollo [ Thu Apr 24, 2008 12:18 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Funny things your teacher has said? |
 teacher me kid   Class*during class* Fe fa fa fe...do dada dodo da da do... Mr. Gavin...are you a Scatman? *Chuckles* What? What does that mean? That joke went so over your head... What? Apparently, that went over your head as well... *snicker, laugh, chuckle, sneer*
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| Author: | RyoKage [ Thu Apr 24, 2008 1:38 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Funny things your teacher has said? |
In Biology, we're going over the human reproductive system. So when my teacher puts up a diagram of the vagina, he says: "That looks kind of like Cloverfield..." XD And to make this post a little less awkward, I'll add one from my geography teacher: "I think America is a great country! Nowhere else in the world can you start off with nothing and become President of the United States!" Oh, really? |
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| Author: | Rov [ Thu Apr 24, 2008 1:51 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Funny things your teacher has said? |
Aw crap. I wanted to grow up to be the president of the US 
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| Author: | thatgamerguy [ Thu Apr 24, 2008 4:22 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Funny things your teacher has said? |
Only in America can you get a Pizza faster than an Ambulance. |
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| Author: | Ty': Ace Attorney [ Thu Apr 24, 2008 3:08 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Funny things your teacher has said? |
College Algebra Teach.: "How many yards are in a feet?" |
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| Author: | The Doctor [ Thu Apr 24, 2008 6:07 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Funny things your teacher has said? |
- Me - Teacher - Other teacher - CoryCory was trying to get one of our friends' attention, so I yelled. Hey, ADAM! Young man! Why did you yell!?*He meets up with and they start to walk off* I am part of what is called the "younger generation", sir! A generation whose actions adults cannot possibly comprehend! H- ? W- ?*They walk off* It looked like they didn't know whether to punish you or not!
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| Author: | Rov [ Thu Apr 24, 2008 6:10 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Funny things your teacher has said? |
Lol! Meekins FTW!! |
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| Author: | Balrog [ Thu Apr 24, 2008 8:20 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Funny things your teacher has said? |
XD lol in the Family |
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| Author: | Mackers [ Thu Apr 24, 2008 8:24 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Funny things your teacher has said? |
 -chem teacher -girl in chem class -*isn't listening while explains something* - "So when your mom calls to ask why you're failing, i can tell her that you don't do a damn thing in my class!"(later, same class) -*is explaining the new grading policy for the 4th quarter of the school year.*"During the first three marking periods, the lowest grade we could put on your report card was a fifty. So if some kid got a thirty average, we could only put a thirty as his grade. But this quarter, you get a 15, that 15 is going on your report card." *proceeded to explain how the parents complained about the kids receiving lower than a fifty which changed the grading policy* "So when you get a 50, there are people who are just given that 50!" -"That's not fair! I work hard for that 50!"
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| Author: | Quandtuniverse [ Thu Apr 24, 2008 8:49 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Funny things your teacher has said? |
LOL Merchant of Venice.  So, in this passage, Bassanio and Portia get together, Gratiano shows up, says he's fallen in love with Nerissa, and that they'll get married, they bet on who's gonna have a son first, Gratiano makes a penis joke- Wh-what? What, you don't get it? Here, I'll explain- *bell rings*
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| Author: | Mackers [ Thu May 01, 2008 8:39 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Funny things your teacher has said? |
-chem teacher -kid in chem class*we're talking about 'effective collisions' of particles* -*is explaining an example of effective collision*"Effective collision: my fist in his face!" *comes over to *"Now, if I punch and graze his hair, will that knock him out? No. But what if I hit him right on the forehead? Will that knock him out? No, unless you have enough energy." *walks back to chalkboard* "But is a wuss, so I could knock him out without energy." -  (different day)  -class -kid in chem class (who is from Ecuador, but has been in the US for a few years)(this one kid was joking around with about being new to this country, even though he's been here for over 7 yrs.) -*takes 's pen off the desk while is explaining yet another pre-lab* - "Dude, that's my pen!" - *shrugs* - "I was sick , and I COUGHED ALL OVER the pen." - *examines pen, and then shrugs again* - "Yeah! And tell him that you licked the pen!" -"What did you say?"- "Tell him that you licked the pen with your mouth!" - *stares at *"What else would I lick it with?!" - *the class laughs* -"That's like almost impossible to lick it with any place else!"*turns back to the chalk board* "That's okay, is new to this country..." - *  *
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| Author: | Quandtuniverse [ Fri May 02, 2008 1:18 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Funny things your teacher has said? |
 (examining a map drawn by 2 girls) Oh, you have a rehab center in your town. That's nice. And is that a hotel/casino? I don't think you should put that right next to the rehab! Oh, there's a wedding chapel. So you can get drunk, get married and then go to rehab.(another day, explaining an essay prompt) "Lawmakers wish to censor videogames that encourage violent and destructive acts". So, pay attention, Grand Theft Auto 4 people! I GOT THAT YESTERDAY! Yes, it's the kind of game where you pick up a prostitute, then shoot her in the head and take your money back. Mr. Y!! It's true. So, the prompt is- How do you know so much? I had Vice City. Huh?? One of the older ones, in college. Did you pick up a prostitute and shoot her in the head? Maybe. Mr. Y!!!! 
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| Author: | Maro-chan [ Fri May 02, 2008 1:23 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Funny things your teacher has said? |
In my Earth and Space class today, we were doing this "experiment" involving Graham crackers, icing, and fruit roll-up that was supposed to model plate tectonics. ><;;  teacher,  me,  guys in class, rest of class This is why I don't like this experiment. Everything gets covered in white, sticky stuff. Okay, we don't need one piece fruit roll-ups anymore, so please "dispose" of half of your roll-up. By that, do you mean eat? ...Sure, why not. Even if it will be covered in icing. YESSSSS! <3 Aww, snap, Mrs. Hadden, I need another fruit roll up. Um, why? Well, I, uh... "accidentally" ate my other half. How do you accidentally eat anything? I dunno, I just did. o_O Okay...
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| Author: | root_beer_junkie [ Fri May 02, 2008 1:31 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Funny things your teacher has said? |
| =Teacher =Me Could you help me with these worksheets? I don't know whether I was supposed to multiply or divide... Hm. *looks* You divided where you should have multiplied, and multiplied where you should have divided. Do it over. (A few minutes later...) *turns in worksheet* Did you do it right this time? Yeah. Are you sure you didn't screw up? Yeah... Why? Well you were so sure a few minutes ago that you were right, and you got them ALL wrong! Check your work. O_o ((Why would I ask for help if I was so sure?))
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| Author: | ItaniMajere [ Fri May 02, 2008 3:27 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Funny things your teacher has said? |
My band director said this the other day...  *puts on music* Feel free to finger your parts while you listen if you'd like.(My director is a perpetual grump XP) And for the record, it was a recording of one of the songs we were playing for band. But still XP To my fellow band geeks out there: Have you ever heard this in band and not thought antything of it? To all non-band members: Don't you wonder how band can be so perverted? |
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| Author: | Lana_Skyes_Heart [ Fri May 02, 2008 3:39 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Funny things your teacher has said? |
ItaniMajere wrote: My band director said this the other day... *puts on music* Feel free to finger your parts while you listen if you'd like.(My director is a perpetual grump XP) And for the record, it was a recording of one of the songs we were playing for band. But still XP To my fellow band geeks out there: Have you ever heard this in band and not thought antything of it? To all non-band members: Don't you wonder how band can be so perverted? Ugh, I was in band before, I never really realized what my director meant by "mouthing and tonguing" your instruments. Then this guy would also joke, and "make-out" with his saxophone and pressing random notes as he played, which he called "buttons". Nasty. |
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| Author: | DaemonForce [ Fri May 02, 2008 4:12 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Funny things your teacher has said? |
Lana_Skyes_Heart wrote: Ugh, I was in band before, I never really realized what my director meant by "mouthing and tonguing" your instruments. Then this guy would also joke, and "make-out" with his saxophone and pressing random notes as he played, which he called "buttons". Nasty. Ahahahahahhahaahaah!  My director was a bit of a pervert. Especially on early mornings when he wouldn't have anyone to pick on until Jazz shows up. There was one part of spirit week where most of us showed up in pajamas, flip-flops and pillows the size of a small continent. I was in a robe. I would sit in front of a partition of the middle stair row. It kind of went like this: Okay that was good. Once more from section III... Ugh, if it was so good, why are we still practicing this part? Because we're not mean enough to say you still need the practice. Uhm...Lucas do you mind closing your robe more? It leaves the impression that that's all you're wea- I question your attention to this of all places. Well you're right in front of me. If I wanted to flash people, wouldn't I have done so? Good point.Someone was always doing something wrong in that class. I quit band for my third year and came back on the fourth as a lead guitar. Quite a change from a wind instrument. I was also the only one there without my own guitar.....Also, the only 12-string in the school. 
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| Author: | Quandtuniverse [ Fri May 02, 2008 6:47 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Funny things your teacher has said? |
| -Creative writing teacher - Government teacher - Students YAY! WE'RE ALL HEROIN ADDICTS!! *random spazz* Was that a Vietnam twitch? Why doesn't our class have a clock? My 8th period class is full of slackers. When they see there's only 15 minutes until the end of school, they stop paying attention. So I took down the clock. Oh. That, and some kid had a rage attack, slammed the door and the clock fell and broke. Oh. That particular student tends to flip out and break things a lot. Oh, the joys of an 8th period class.
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| Author: | Addikt [ Sat May 03, 2008 3:01 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Funny things your teacher has said? |
Quandtuniverse wrote: YAY! WE'RE ALL HEROIN ADDICTS!!Oh man. He would say that XDDDD - An English Teacher - A Student. : FUCKING SHIT! : *stare* : Oh, dammit, I wasn't supposed to say that, was I? : Oh, no, it's OK. Those words are in the book. : Oh... ok...
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| Author: | Quandtuniverse [ Sat May 03, 2008 3:04 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Funny things your teacher has said? |
Addikt wrote: Quandtuniverse wrote: YAY! WE'RE ALL HEROIN ADDICTS!!Oh man. He would say that XDDDD We were talking about the difference between junkie poets and poem junkies XD |
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| Author: | Addikt [ Sat May 03, 2008 3:13 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Funny things your teacher has said? |
:P That's awesome. We had some moments like that too XD |
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| Author: | thatgamerguy [ Sat May 03, 2008 3:48 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Funny things your teacher has said? |
So after our standardized testing, we were all playing mario kart in math class. The bell rang but we were in a race. We stayed and were the only ones there besides the teachers. Someone threw a blue shell and 5 people just yelled "DAMNIT" One of us came in 8th and just yelled, FUCK THIS GAME! The teachers laughed at us. I think I would rather have a detention before being laughed at by a geometry teacher. |
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| Author: | jungkih [ Sat May 03, 2008 11:18 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Funny things your teacher has said? |
| Me and my friend :wendy oldbag: History teacher :wendy oldbag: "Okay class, I want you guys to do a hand job from you and not from your computer." "hahahahaha" Tech teacher (pedophile (no kidding)) Boy Girl "Can you help me?" "No, do it yourself." "Can you help me?" "Sure I will help you." (does most of it)I didn't laugh that time but I laughed later Math teacher Class My pen is running out "hahahahahaha"
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| Author: | Awen [ Sat May 03, 2008 7:46 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Funny things your teacher has said? |
My music teacher told me that I'm very manly because I admitted that I'm very feminine. |
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| Author: | Scorchgid [ Sun May 04, 2008 3:39 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Funny things your teacher has said? |
thatgamerguy wrote: So after our standardized testing, we were all playing mario kart in math class. The bell rang but we were in a race. We stayed and were the only ones there besides the teachers. Someone threw a blue shell and 5 people just yelled "DAMNIT" One of us came in 8th and just yelled, FUCK THIS GAME! The teachers laughed at us. I think I would rather have a detention before being laughed at by a geometry teacher. BLUE SHELLS - keeping the good players from winning the race. |
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| Author: | Liquidzilla [ Sun May 04, 2008 4:02 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Funny things your teacher has said? |
Art teacher (evil lady) AT: Let's see your final piece for the portrait project Me: *Hands it over* AT: Well...This look a bit like a black blob doesnt it? Me: .... another AT: Well, lets see your structure project final piece (to my sis) sis: *hands it over* AT: Ah....*picks at a piece of tissue paper in shock/horror* English Teacher (kick ass lady) ET: Okay, we only have 6 hours of Pride and Prejudice left to watch! Everyone: O_O ET: Don't worry, you get to see Mr Darcy in a wet shirt Girls: :D |
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| Author: | CoffeeAddict [ Sun May 04, 2008 5:36 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Funny things your teacher has said? |
Foreign Language Teacher.  : Don't speak in English. I don't understand you.holy crap! |
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| Author: | Pandan [ Mon May 05, 2008 12:06 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Funny things your teacher has said? |
I just remembered that one of my teachers always says weird stuff, but we're so used to it... and usually we don't notice it. But he said this one thing today. He showed us a pair of really ugly glasses. (Which we need for our play) teacher class, all of us Whoa! That's perfect! Were did you get them? Oh, at this store you know... I bought them for a different occasion... ................. about the same time as the whip and the leather pants...
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| Author: | kaitouX [ Mon May 05, 2008 12:33 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Funny things your teacher has said? |
My Crafts teacher is a scary person, really... - Crafts Teacher - My friend  - Class-- *our teacher was prescribing us something*  *blahblah* Aww, man, you're talking too fast! Fast...? You know, dogs do it fast. W-what?! Didn't you hear me? Dogs do it fast. I know, because I was watching. .... D: What? Dogs walk fast, I thought you all knew this! ..... You have some maggoty minds, it seems. ~~ *we were talking about various substances* Alcohol is for people, just like sex. .... o__o Sex is the gift from God!*...and he started talking about sex, completely forgetting the topic of our lesson..* ~~ People call it "the male/female flex". Do you know why? Um, no. *shoves one flex into another* This is why. D:-- |
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| Author: | Scorchgid [ Tue May 06, 2008 7:56 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Funny things your teacher has said? |
A ture spoken like a true
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| Author: | Phoenix_Apollo [ Fri May 09, 2008 12:50 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Funny things your teacher has said? |
Drama director Kid  Cast of a play Right now, the rate that I'm giving these lines is just like a Hoover....What does a Hoover do? ...Sucks? Right. Exactly. It sucks. O_O
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| Author: | Andre_jcruz95 [ Fri May 09, 2008 1:43 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Funny things your teacher has said? |
| OK Students, line up alphabetically by height.
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| Author: | kaitouX [ Tue May 13, 2008 3:16 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Funny things your teacher has said? |
More creepy than funny, but.. oh well. It was the long break before physics. I didn't have anyone to talk to - my friend wasn't at school - so I decided to have a little chat with my ex-teacher. - me - teacher-- *so, we were talking and suddenly the wind blew up my skirt*  ARGH!! *trying to hold the skirt down* Ooh~~ The wind did the work for me~!-- |
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