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I've felt worse.

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Pierre wrote:
sumguy28 wrote:
Quote:
I ... am currently waiting for my application to a master's program to go through

I GOT ACCEPTED
Goodbye, "will I get accepted" anxiety, hello "what if it doesn't work out" anxiety.


Congrats man. What's the masters in?

It's a research-focused forensics program.
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Oh wow, nice to hear. Congrats, sumguy!
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I feel like I should have some alcohol in my system before my next shift.
On a stomach that has food, of course. I'm not stupid, and won't drink on an empty stomach.
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CatMuto wrote:
I feel like I should have some alcohol in my system before my next shift.
On a stomach that has food, of course. I'm not stupid, and won't drink on an empty stomach.


Ain't it generally a bad idea to go into work after a drink?
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CatMuto wrote:
I feel like I should have some alcohol in my system before my next shift.
On a stomach that has food, of course. I'm not stupid, and won't drink on an empty stomach.


How much are we talking here? A glass of wine or more like 4? Regardless take some breathmints as well so people can't smell alcohol.

To be honest we've all had days where you don't start work sober or hung over (or you probably will somewhere in the future). As long as its an incident and not a structural problem its no big deal.

Sounds like you need a better job if this is the regular state of affairs though.
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CatMuto wrote:
I feel like I should have some alcohol in my system before my next shift.
On a stomach that has food, of course. I'm not stupid, and won't drink on an empty stomach.


I've seen alcohol destroy too many lives to ever let it be an escape for me.
I know I've lost at least one of my jobs because I called out too many times, I know what it's like to have a hard time forcing yourself to go somewhere you don't want to be, and I know from personal experience that this can be a chronic problem.
I'd be a hypocrite if I told you to find some help, I've never done so myself, but even so...
I've found that being calm the night before helps me, I usually accomplish this with different music.
Maybe you were just venting, and drinking before work would be a one time thing, hell maybe we have a functional alcoholic reading this and they're insulted by my opinion, but please, don't use alcohol as an escape.
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I drank one glass of juice mixed with alcohol (like 1 part alcohol to 10 parts juice), so it wasn't even a lot. About as much alcohol as I usually drink, on the rare occasion I do drink. Haven't done it since.

You know, I want to say that I am enjoying Berserk a lot... but the huge amounts of gore, nudity, and rape (attempts) is really a damper. Now, I don't care much for sex scenes to begin with, and my stance is that it really should only be in there, if it advances or influences the plot. So, since I'm at about the part where 'the Moonchild' has first appeared, I can say that 4 sex scenes are important to the plot, and I would keep them.

Spoiler: Berserk
Those would be Griffith sleeping with Princess Charlotte, since it leads to his downfall and, eventually, The Eclipse.

Guts and Casca making love, since she gets pregnant from this, and it does create the 'Demon Child'/eventually Griffith's reincarnation in human form/the Moonchild.

Femto raping Casca. Because partly the above reason, and because it does create the Casca we know for a good portion of the series, and the goal to heal her mentality.

And Guts almost raping Casca, since it shows his own instability, and how his sense of revenge is basically taking form.


Those, sure. All the others, I could really do without.
I definitely enjoyed reading the Golden Age arc, even though having 10 volumes worth of a flashback is kinda off... almost makes me think, why not begin the manga with the Golden Age arc? Either way, I made sure to pay attention to the events of The Eclipse because I had read that it's a really tragic, very disgusting, and emotional occurence.
...I don't disagree. It was sad to see things happening, but... I hate saying this, but I feel the repeated rape occuring in the series, as well as the multiple rape attempts Casca had to fight off, REALLY took some of the impact of the events off. The same goes for the amounts of gore going on. I just went through 13 volumes of gore: people being ripped apart, eaten alive, stabbed, mutilated, and all sorts of other stuff... so, I felt desensitized for The Eclipse.

Spoiler: Berserk Eclipse
Especially Casca's rape. I read that it was a super traumatizing, horrifying thing to even read in the manga because it was so violent, she was in such pain because of her brand of sacrifice and being close to dozens of demons (and a Godhand), and what Femto did was basically sexual sadism... it really didn't feel that much like that to me. It was bad, but... I didn't get the sense that she was in excruciating pain. I almost want to say it was tame...

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Wow, I'd heard Berserk was intense but I never imagined it was THAT extreme to have repeated rape scenes
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Pierre wrote:
Wow, I'd heard Berserk was intense but I never imagined it was THAT extreme to have repeated rape scenes

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A_UfoQW0M0c
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Pierre wrote:
Wow, I'd heard Berserk was intense but I never imagined it was THAT extreme to have repeated rape scenes


Wyald and the Trolls are definite moments, where you can see an increase in rape and nudity occuring in the series. Which is weird because I think Wyald had a much better impact by having Guts go up against an Apostle, and showing how he had improved since his initial fight/defeat against Zodd. That showed development and such, and was a neat indication of the upcoming Eclipse. But no, mostly Wyald is remembered for the amount of rape he added to the series, including being another one of many that attempt to go after Casca. (Poor Casca... I know this is a medieaval world, but it's almost ridiculous)

Berserk is definitely good. Just... don't go for it, if you cannot stomach this stuff in excess. Unfortunate because the characters and development (and the art! Some of those monster designs are really cool) is really well worth going for. :ron:
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Pierre wrote:
Wow, I'd heard Berserk was intense but I never imagined it was THAT extreme to have repeated rape scenes



Yeah I agree with Cat a bit, sometimes these scenes detract from the rest of the show/manga, but its still a good 'growth through struggle' story with emphasis on struggle.


My favourite scene is where
Spoiler: slight midway spoiler
He battles 100 soldiers in the woods to let everyone else flee
. Not sure why, but this scene in particular is one of the coolest things I've seen in anime.
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Ugh our system seems ridiculous that after two Prime Ministers screw over the UK the same party is just allowed to replace them rather than having an election. It'll be the second unelected Prime Minister in the face of all the political failures of their party.
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I’m having problems with impulse control.

I’ve always been like this, but lately this seems to be getting out of hand. It seems awfully difficult to do what I don’t want to do, or to keep myself from doing what I want to do.

This extends to almost all areas of my life: money, love, school, even videogames. When I’m in love with something, I’ll do too much of this something. I won’t focus on anything else.

This applies to food even lol. Last month I was obsessed with one brand of peanuts. I was buying the same stuff every single day. It was like I couldn’t live without it.

I don’t know how to explain it to a psychologist or psychiatrist without making this sounds like I want to be a decadent Amy Winehouse or Kurt Cobain. But just being who I am is kind of difficult, because I can’t be as disciplined and ordered like the world wants me to be. It sucks.
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You considered seeing a psychologist or therapist about it? Anything you think triggered things getting worse?
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I did, maybe one or two years ago. I actually have a mild case of Bipolar (also called Bipolar II). Almost sure this increase in poor decision-making and impulsivity is due to this. I thought I would never become high energy like I did 2-3 years ago, but I might be wrong.

Unfortunately, my lack of discipline hinders my consistency in treating myself as well. Last time I went to the doc and psychologist, it was only because of external pressure/family and friends telling me to do so. Like, it is extremely difficult for me to stay on schedule with health-related stuff. I hate having to go to the psychiatrist every two months or so.

Basically, anything which involves “you have to”, schedules, appointments, numbers, deadlines etc just feel like hindrances and/or are obstacles that keep me from doing what I really want to do right now. It is like life, people and the world are just a huge conspiracy to keep me from doing what I want to do.
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Sjibbey wrote:
Pierre wrote:
Wow, I'd heard Berserk was intense but I never imagined it was THAT extreme to have repeated rape scenes



Yeah I agree with Cat a bit, sometimes these scenes detract from the rest of the show/manga, but its still a good 'growth through struggle' story with emphasis on struggle.


My favourite scene is where
Spoiler: slight midway spoiler
He battles 100 soldiers in the woods to let everyone else flee
. Not sure why, but this scene in particular is one of the coolest things I've seen in anime.


It's a pretty cool scene.

I know that Miura hadn't actually created the Band of Hawks when he started Berserk, and didn't have things planned out, which is exactly why the beginning 2 to 3 volumes - before the Golden Age arc - end up feeling so... out of character and weird. Just the opening scene - remember that one? Given what is eventually revealed about Guts, and his later relationship with Casca, it just seems completely out of character for him to do.

But I also see no reason why Berserk had to start 'In Medias Res'. You could have started with the Golden Age arc, and go from there. Minor differences done to the succubus apostle and The Count, things would work better with what was established, and then you go on to the arc of the Lost Children, etc. Minor change resulting in the beginning volumes not feeling so very-un-Guts-like. Though I can see why most adaptations ended up focusing on the Golden Age arc. It's a good arc, establishes things, and is basically what leads to the rest of the series.
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Thelema wrote:
I did, maybe one or two years ago. I actually have a mild case of Bipolar (also called Bipolar II). Almost sure this increase in poor decision-making and impulsivity is due to this. I thought I would never become high energy like I did 2-3 years ago, but I might be wrong.

Unfortunately, my lack of discipline hinders my consistency in treating myself as well. Last time I went to the doc and psychologist, it was only because of external pressure/family and friends telling me to do so. Like, it is extremely difficult for me to stay on schedule with health-related stuff. I hate having to go to the psychiatrist every two months or so.

Basically, anything which involves “you have to”, schedules, appointments, numbers, deadlines etc just feel like hindrances and/or are obstacles that keep me from doing what I really want to do right now. It is like life, people and the world are just a huge conspiracy to keep me from doing what I want to do.


Yeah psychological therapy wouldn't really work if folks don't want to go of their own steam. They won't force clients to do anything so the clients have to carry on under their own willpower. I only worked with bipolar symptoms a smidge but from what I recall of that it was largely related to being controlled and maintaining a balance. Tapering off the highest highs with a couple of methods in order to stabilise the lowest lows, coupled with regular treatment methods for depression.

The client would need to consider their swings a serious enough problem to warrant therapy on their own steam. Depending on how it affects you it might not warrant treatment. The dire circumstances are when like people are putting themselves on crazy high risks and spending all their money leaving them heading to poverty. Other than that, some folks might judge the low moods worth the high swings and that can be fine as well.

Hope your stuff works out Thelema.


_____

In other news I'm happy with the results of the EU elections in my Country at least. Scotland swung well in a way I can get behind. The Brexit party will be big in declaring their successes as proof we should leave the EU but the percentages tell a different story.

The clear pro-brexit parties were split between UKIP and Brexit Party and combined they were losing out in vote percentage overall to the pro-remain parties of Lib Dems/SNP/Change/Greens.

Can only be happy for my country for what we were able to achieve, even if the rest of the UK is a bit of a let down.
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Thelema wrote:
I did, maybe one or two years ago. I actually have a mild case of Bipolar (also called Bipolar II). Almost sure this increase in poor decision-making and impulsivity is due to this. I thought I would never become high energy like I did 2-3 years ago, but I might be wrong.

Basically, anything which involves “you have to”, schedules, appointments, numbers, deadlines etc just feel like hindrances and/or are obstacles that keep me from doing what I really want to do right now. It is like life, people and the world are just a huge conspiracy to keep me from doing what I want to do.


Well if the cause of your problem is clear and you seem to have appropriate expectations on how to manage it. Maybe you can ask someone you trust to help you with this issue / someone who kick you into gear when necessary. (That's what I would do any way.)

Pierre wrote:
In other news I'm happy with the results of the EU elections in my Country at least. Scotland swung well in a way I can get behind. The Brexit party will be big in declaring their successes as proof we should leave the EU but the percentages tell a different story.

The clear pro-brexit parties were split between UKIP and Brexit Party and combined they were losing out in vote percentage overall to the pro-remain parties of Lib Dems/SNP/Change/Greens.

Can only be happy for my country for what we were able to achieve, even if the rest of the UK is a bit of a let down.



You can't keep voting untill you get the result you want, thats not democracy. I get that Remain voters try everything in the book to overturn the decision but it sets a dangerous precedent where democratic elected results can be ignored through stalling and campaigning.


Are you really willing to pay that price?
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Quote:
You can't keep voting untill you get the result you want, thats not democracy. I get that Remain voters try everything in the book to overturn the decision but it sets a dangerous precedent where democratic elected results can be ignored through stalling and campaigning.


Are you really willing to pay that price?


Hmm I'm not sure I buy it, but I'm a pragmatist and have grown increasingly pragmatic through my training. Holding on to old values and virtues can be useful for a time but often it'll come up against situations where those aren't useful and then we'll make bad decisions because we feel that's how we have to be. I'll make use of what's helpful and good right now based on what I can see rather than the decisions made in the past.

In this case, the Brexit dream was sold on a bunch of things that didn't turn out to be true in the end. In that case I see nothing wrong with taking the time to stop and reassess the situation. The lies of the first campaign effectively invalidate the referendum for me on grounds of false advertising.

Now we've had time to see and assess and develop an accurate picture of what Brexit looks like I am fine with us taking a time to stop and think rationally about the matter.

To take it out of the Brexit context to clarify:
The public decided we should drive North for 20 miles instead of South for 20 miles because there's benefits to the North.

The bus starts driving North but then finds out that there's only a cliff edge at 15 miles leading right into some dangerous rocks in the sea.

The public shrugs and decides that since it was already decided they should stay committed to the course even if it warrants disaster.


There's no shame in taking stock and reassessing the situation considering all the misinformation that was thrown around. It's alright to get things wrong and when we do it's fine to change our mind.
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About the Brexit thing. I’ve always believed the end goal of democracy is to ensure that the majority’s needs and wishes prevail. If the majority feels the first referendum was done under misleading circumstances, or that the result of the first referendum doesn’t represent the majority at all, there’s nothing wrong IMO with calling for a second referendum. In principle, nothing anti democratic about it at all.

If the majority really wants to leave, the result should be shown in the hypothetical second referendum. If the second referendum shows the majority doesn’t want to leave, yeah, that would probably prove the claim that the first result was caused by misleading propaganda and/or a lack of awareness about what leaving really implies.

Ofc I might be wrong here. There is a lot about UK and EU politics I don’t know.

However, it does seem weird to me that England reeks “let’s be together and cooperate, pls don’t leave me” when it comes to Scotland’s independence; on the other hand, when it comes to the EU, the country has adopted the “leave me alone, don’t tell me what to do” rhetoric.
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It's worse for Northern Ireland who also voted to Remain and are at risk of violent consequences if they are pulled out without a good Border agreement.

And the icing on the cake: The Government advised during the Scottish Independence Referendum that staying in the UK WAS OUR BEST CHANCE of staying in the EU.
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So I've been feeling down when it comes to art and haven't felt motivated. Karim and I have been up-to-date with One Punch Man since season 2 started. Yesterday I REALLY wanted to draw Garou.... so I did and it came out WAY better than I expected. Now I actually feel motivated to keep drawing and that's something I haven't felt in a long time.
I'll put it in a spoiler tag because it's probably huge. :edgey:
Spoiler:
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Oh wow, looks incredible, certainly an S-rank drawing. And hey, someone else who's actually been watching season 2. I actually decided to read up on the manga instead and enjoyed it way more than season 2 so far.
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Yeah your skills are still top-notch Dawn.
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Lone wrote:
Oh wow, looks incredible, certainly an S-rank drawing. And hey, someone else who's actually been watching season 2. I actually decided to read up on the manga instead and enjoyed it way more than season 2 so far.

Thank youuuuu~! Yeah I like the manga more too, but I still like seeing it in action anyway. ^^ I've also drawn Bang and Saitama. I'll post them here soon.

Pierre wrote:
Yeah your skills are still top-notch Dawn.

Thank you so much! I feel like I've improved a lot since my last art post. :edgey:
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I have a job interview tomorrow, despite already/still working a job. But I will be absolutely honest about why I did it; I had a really bad day at work and thought all the mistakes, which were partly the system messing up, were making me look really, really bad, and I wasn't sure if I was gonna keep this job. I sent some applications out to prepare for the worst case scenario of being fired.
I was in a really bad, mental place when I sent the applications.
And I can very honestly say I don't know if I want to keep working at my job (but I can imagine doing so, feeling much better now) or if I want to work somewhere else (which I can also imagine).

Hope that my honesty will at least be something positive.
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CatMuto wrote:
And I can very honestly say I don't know if I want to keep working at my job (but I can imagine doing so, feeling much better now) or if I want to work somewhere else (which I can also imagine).

Hope that my honesty will at least be something positive.


I feel its always better to (try to) change something when you're not satisfied with something instead of just dealing with it. Although the anxiety from a 'bad' job will be replaced by anxiety for a new job the anxiety from being new will fade where a 'bad' job rarely gets better.
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Don't cry because it's over.
Honk because it can't possibly get any worse.
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Alternatively, cry because it's over because you have a right to be emotional whenever appropriate.
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Okay I've only posted my Garou drawing on here, but I've drawn two other characters from One Punch Man since then and I'm gonna post them here. In spoiler tags because they're pretty big. Anyway, I hope you all like them as much as I do. :yogi:

Spoiler: Bang
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Spoiler: Saitama
Since everyone had an epic full body and face I wanted to show the two faces of Saitama. This was actually so much fun to draw. :redd:
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Cool drawings! They look good.

Yo Domaya, whats going on with your profile?
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Man im so fucking hyped for No More Heroes 3. Missed playing that series so much
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Yesterday was such an amazing day. We decided to have a picnic at one of the many parks by our apartment and it was so beautiful. It was quiet, sunny, and there was a great breeze. After we ate and enjoyed the park we walked around to the trails. We walked through the forest for about 7 hours and we were a ways away from home, but it was so much fun! We encountered a bunch of chipmunks and one sat on my shoe and almost climbed up my leg. Sadly two loud children came running into the area and scared him away. ;-;
Anyway about about 7-8 hours of walking around we decided to go home. All we did was walk yesterday and I assumed that I'd be feeling really sore today but instead I feel so relaxed and completely chill.
10/10 would do again.


Edit:
It just hit me how close my birthday is. I'm so distracted I didn't even realize until Kidd asked me if I wanted to watch Spiderman on my birthday. Yikes. :basil:
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Ah, traveling by plane. So comfortable and safe, yet still make me nervous during the hours before boarding the airline.

I was so calm during the whole flight, though. Took a nap, woke up and then heard, “flight crew please prepare for landing”. It all happens so fast.
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Happy Maria

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Haha, yeah, I went on a plane recently for the first time in a while earlier this month. The waiting times felt a bit long but the plane trips themselves were fine. I loved staring out of those windows. Though when returning it suddenly started to rain just before we got onto the plane whoops. At least I managed to entertain myself with the AAI OST the whole flight.
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★ I wanna Yabba Dabba Die ★

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I'm another year older today.
Hope everyone is having a lovely day. :edgey:
FacebookKidd & Milky ArtPersonal/18+ Art InstagramArt Merch
Twitter: @miilkyweiPSN: Saebyeog ☆ Switch: SW-6480-0576-7900 ♡
*HMU if you wanna die or request commissions*
Currently (Re)Watching / Playing: Chainsaw Man / Pokemon Scarlet
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Happy Maria

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Happy birthday, Dawn! I'm having a fun time, today's a good day for writing stuff.
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Gettin' Old!

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My day's going alright! Hope you have a great birthday Dawn! Tell us about it later.
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You thought you could be safe in your courts, with your laws and attorneys to protect you. In this world only I am law, my word is fact, my power is absolute.
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High level play

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Hey, congratulations with your birthday Dawn. With timezones being a thing I guess I'm only 3 hours too late.

I kind of had a bad day yesterday though. Had to deal with a pretty draining experience at work and a co-worker raised his voice at me for
something I said to the customer. I need to talk to him about this today since it shook me up unexpectedly. I couldn't get rid of a looming feeling of faillure (or something like it) untill hours later when I was home and decided to go outside and go for a bike ride.

Or it is more accurately to say that anxiety started to build so intensely that I started to feel claustrophobic. Anyway after half an hour I calmed down, biked home and became dazed from releasing the stress.

I don't want to be shaken this easily. I want to find something that will help building my mental fortitude.
Face your emptiness don't be afraid. The danger is often smaller than your fear.

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Gettin' Old!

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Sjibbey wrote:
Hey, congratulations with your birthday Dawn. With timezones being a thing I guess I'm only 3 hours too late.

I kind of had a bad day yesterday though. Had to deal with a pretty draining experience at work and a co-worker raised his voice at me for
something I said to the customer. I need to talk to him about this today since it shook me up unexpectedly. I couldn't get rid of a looming feeling of faillure (or something like it) untill hours later when I was home and decided to go outside and go for a bike ride.

Or it is more accurately to say that anxiety started to build so intensely that I started to feel claustrophobic. Anyway after half an hour I calmed down, biked home and became dazed from releasing the stress.

I don't want to be shaken this easily. I want to find something that will help building my mental fortitude.



Yeah I had a similar situation the other day at work. We had a temporary agency staff member in and since they can't do any of the paperwork or medication I was told to ask him to clean out a vacant flat.

He doesn't raise any objection at first but when I checked in on him after doing the meds he made it clear he was NOT happy with how things had panned out. Said he felt we'd dumped the task on him just because he was agency and that he'd never have taken this job tonight if he'd known it was going to be like this and stressed that he wasn't a cleaner.

Now I know we ain't hired to be cleaners but it's a minor part of the job, especially on nightshift when our clients aren't likely to need support. The situation was just tense and it literally got the point where I told him I'd prefer to have a witness before we talk any further. He seemed to understand that it wasn't my fault but I'm so not used to being talked to like that by a coworker. He actually refused to complete the task too and reported the issue to his agency so it hit out as quite a shock.

Fortunately I had other stuff to focus on and was able to put it aside that night but was rough for a spell.
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You thought you could be safe in your courts, with your laws and attorneys to protect you. In this world only I am law, my word is fact, my power is absolute.
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