Hahahahaha...I need more Gant stories, or how about some more satirical pairing reviews.

---

^ *gives you protection* You're gonna need this when everyone on the forum Gants you.

Alright, alright.... settle down little children. Mr. Damon Gant has another story for all you little ones out there.

....I'm back here because???

Shush Pearly!!!! I paid five bucks for this!!!

But Mr. Gant doesn't....

Oh ho ho ho!!! You better keep quiet lil' Pearldickie!!! How about we get on with my story, shall we??? Today's story is entitled....

Losing Something Dear.

Is it a love story???

Yes.... once upon a time, in a lawyer's office, there lived a scruff handsome sexy...

Is it Mr. Nick?

Why..... yes...... how did you know?

Because every story you tell is about Mr. Nick. When can we have someone new as the protagonist?

SHUT UP!!!!! STORY NAO!!!

But that isn't even a real storybook! He's been reading from Mr. Nick's private journal for the past few stories....

Ahem.... Pearldickie.... you want me to punish you?

No Mr. Gant..... I mean pookie-pie.

Thank you. Now where was I? Ah yes.... it all started with a normal day in the office of Phoenix Wright..... I mean Wrighto.
------------------
Ahh.... nothing like a normal day here in the office of Phoenix Wright. Everything I need is here. My computer, my lounge sofa, Charley, a pair of talking breasts...

I resent that. I was just here to help you decorate Wright.

And of course..... my one true love..... *reaches for something in drawer*

Reaching for your picture of Edgeworth again???

HECK NO!!!! I HATE HIM!!! I was talking about this..... *reaches into drawer*.... where is it??? Where is my love???? I'm going to die a virgin!!!!

Screw this, I'm leaving!!!! *leaves Maya*

I DON'T WANNA DIE A VIRGIN!!!!!!!!!

I'm here Nick!

You don't understand!!! My badge is missing!!! My attorney badge!!! Without her.... without Nikki.... I'm nothing.

Nikki??? You named your badge?

We happen to have a very intimate relationship.
----------------
HOLD ON!!!! I don't remember any of this!!! Nick isn't into.... things like that.

Yes he is.... I saw him buying trees the other day to find a girlfriend for Charley.... then he took his Court Record out to eat. Said they had important matters to discuss.

This is stupid.....I'm not going to sit here and listen to this crap!

They are stories my dear.... not biographies!

They're from his freakin' journal!!!!

You don't remember??? You told me you wanted to block out that memory forever. You said you didn't wanna compete with a badge....

............oh yeah......

ANYWAYS!!!!
------------------------
She's no where in this building!!! I have searched everywhere!!! Maya!!! Where was the last time I was seen with Nikki???

This is stupid....get a new badge....

That's like asking me to cheat on Nikki..... I can't do that.

Yes you can.

You don't understand. Me and Nikki are like Edgeworth and his cravat.....we belong together.

Who? You and Edgeworth?

NO!!!! ME AND NIKKI!!!!!! Help me find her!!! I'll uh.....feed you burgers!!!

Deal. *takes out a folder* We should be able to find it...

Her.

Huh?

Nikki is a girl!

Whatever..... anyways, we should be able to find HER if we check your last case. We will just scan all the areas we examined and the court house.....*looks through files* AH! Here we go!!! Our last case was 2 weeks ago at the Big Berry Circus.

Again!!!!???? That place scared me the first time!!!! Are you sure?

Yes..... someone framed Regina for running around naked at the circus.

It wasn't a murder case?

Nope. I know rare occasion....

So then....

Oldbag was found to be the culprit and was arrested on the spot. She was trying to capture Ben's attention.

Eww..... old people are gross.

Well, lets go, we got a lot of work to do....

*at the Big Berry Circus*

I'm so sorry!!!! I couldn't find your one true love Mr. Wright!!! Now I'll never be a star!!!

Its ok little girl. We can do something later at my place if you want. You are under 18, right?

NICK!!!!

I mean.... thanks anyway Regina.

Hey, what do you call a badge who never stops nagging you? A BADGER!!!! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA!

*slaps Moe* NO ONE MAKES FUN OF MY NIKKI-KINS!!!!

Oh great.... he's moved on to pet names..... delusional idiot.

Whose up for a BLT?

BLT?

Badge Loving Twit! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! AHA! *gets shot*

Um...... BEN DID IT!!!! *takes Maya's hand and runs*

......................................crap.
*in the city*

Well, we know she's not there.

But you didn't really investigate....

SHE'S NOT THERE!!!!

Fine.... wanna check the courthouse then?

Yes.

*in the courthouse*

I hear a trial, lets go check it out....

*phoenix and maya enter the courtroom*

This has got to be the most stupidest court proceeding I have ever heard..... and the defense????

Quiet down thar pardner. I am the judge and what I say goes, you hear that ye yellerbelly???

Worthless piece of --

What was that?

Fine..... let the defense proceed....

I found beer in his apartment!!!! They were empty!!! And he was throwing up in the toilet talking about how last night was bad to him!!! I have concluded that he was drinking!!!!

When will this hangover go away???

Ok...... but that doesn't explain why we've put Winston Payne on trial for the murder of...... Barney the Dinosaur.....

My client Meekins is guilty!!!!

Pardner..... he ain't even involved in this case. He ain't a witness, suspect, or accomplice. No evidence was found to support he was there, and he has an airtight alibi....

........ can I have a do-over???

HEY!!!! THAT'S NIKKI!!!!! THE JUDGE IS WEARING MY NIKKI!!!!

Um..... no I'm not....

Not you!!!! *points at defense* HIM!!!!!

Who, me???

GIVE HER BACK!!!! *jumps on Udgey and starts to beat him up while trying to reclaim his badge*

I give up..... Edgeworth, Payne is guilty, you win.

About freakin' time.

Nick....... is such an idiot.... *facepalm*
--------------------
And that's how true love was found.

I'm sorry..... are you high?

High on life my dear!

Uh..... yeah..... I'm gonna go get some burgers first so I think I will leave so....

Not so fast!!! I have a guest for you!!!!

MAYA!!!!! I WANNA RAEP YOU!!!!

NO!!!! STAY BACK!!!! PEARLY!!!!!

Sorry.... too busy watching Children's Masterpiece theater.

Make a man outta me!

PEARLY!!!!!

Well, I hope you enjoyed another one of my fabulous stories and learned a valuable lesson. If you want to find true love.... make sure its an inanimate object. They will never object to your love, nor will they forsake and will always be with you without any complaints. That's why I go swimming with my favorite bikini briefs. I wouldn't be me without them.

Eww......

Good night and remember..... you make fun of me.... well, let's just say you won't get a second chance....

See you soon!

---

...Excuse me while I fall off my chair and die of laughter.

---

Warning: The War For Love Begins Now!

-Humming something from Vivaldi's Four Seasons as he's walking on by-
"Mine eyes have seen the glory of a man not as old as Manny! Ahaha!"
"Holy freaking GRAPE JUICE. ...Are my eyes deceiving me? Or is the god Adonis standing before me? Or am I drunk again?"
-Looks around. Shrugs. Goes back to humming and walking.-
"Been swimming lately, m'boy!?"
"Pardon!" -Gasp. Freezes up. Turns toward Gant.-
"Oh, don't listen to that windbag. Now your legs must be tired from you runnin' through my dreams..."
"I BEG YOUR PARDON."
"Back off, hobo. MINE."
"You'll think yours when you're swimmin' in CONCRETE SHOES."
"I...I beg both of your pardons!"
-Runs up to Kiri- "NIIIIIIIIIICHAAAAAAAAAN!" -Eyes Gant and Hobohodo.- "...MINE. Back off. My family. Not yours."
"I...um...don't think they want me for family, my little dear sweet angelic brother that can do no wrong."
"Ohhhhh! So they like you like I like Mei-Mei!" -Schoolboyish giggle.-
"...That girl is going to make a fool of you yet. And...um...duke it out for me you two. I'll be back after giving my brother a talking to." -Leans and whispers in Kyou's ear.- "Let's make a run for it..."
"Why should we--" -Kiri clasps hand over his mouth and drags him along running.-
"SHUSH!" -Keeps running.-
-Punches Hobohodo- "YOU SCARED HIM OFF."
-Starts drilling Gant with punches.- "IT. WAS. YOUR. RAPE. EYES."
"H...HI!" -Stops, staring at the fight.-
and -Stop.-
"...Damon. If we pull apart he won't make a comment about us..."
"Are you two fighting over someone who ran off?"
"...He's good."
"He IS. Now young man...tell me...do you know a handsome blond who wears glasses?"
"THAT'S MY MENTOR! How...HOW DARE...HOW DARE YOU FIGHT FOR HIS AFFECTION! He's...very sensitive."
"...I know what I'm getting."
"...I'm going to get a bigger, more comfortable box..."
-Facepalm. Walks off.-

---

I wanted to give this a try for a while now but inspiration never struck... until I had an AJ dream...

The Sadistic Doctors


Alright, Trucy, I'll be back to pick you up for your appointment.

Ok, dad.

*leaves*

Ah, Ema, you have a doctors appointment too?

Yeah, but the receptionist refused to tell me who the doctor was going to be.

*in a lab coat* Ms. Skye, Ms. Wright, I'll be seeing you now.

What the... Klavier?!

Is there anything he can't do?

~*~
Apollo, check their charts.

Looks, like their both due for booster shots...

Huh?

Wha?

*talking out a syrnge* This WILL hurt... alot.

Excuse--

*slices Ema's knee with syrnge*

YEEEEEEOOOOOWWWWCCCHHH! KLAVIER WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?!?!

*laughing slightly* Make note of how the patient reacted.

Ema! Are you alright? *looks at her knee*

*throws softball*

*looks up* Dr. Gavin why-- *gets hit in the head with the softball* APOLLO!!!

It seems our patients are ready to revolt sir.

Alright then, let's strap them in then.

+ What?

*leather straps apper from nowhere and bind them by the ankles and wrists*

~*~
After many "tests"...

Alright, one more test...

*opens closet door*

It's raping time!!!

+ NOOOOO!!!! *break free of straps and run out*

Trucy, I'm-- OH MY CHEESE WHY ARE YOU BOTH COVERED IN CUTS IN BRUISES?!?!

HOME! NOW!

TAKE ME WITH YOU!!!

Meanwhile...

Aw, they left...

Can I rape one of you?

No, back in the closet.

That was fun, wasn't it, Justice?

Yeah but next time we do malpractice let's not try it on people we know.

~*~

The end!

That was a horrible story! The only person I knew in that was you and Nick!

*sing-song* It's in his journal...

---

Lol!!! Mitzy and Pylons, those were both awesome!!! *appluads them both*

---

That was really funny.

---

That was rather entertaining. Got any more up your sleeves?

---

XD at both.

---

Warning: part two of the war for LOVE.

-Busy cleaning up his box to make it look VERY nice and VERY spacious.-
-Blank stare.- "What makes you think he'll like that...trash heap?"
"...Oh. He will. HE WILL."
"...He'll swoon when I reserve the public pool for me and him..."
"What if he's scared of water?"
"I'll bet he's more scared of your fleas."
-Walking by, clenching eyes shut.- (If I don't acknowledge them, maybe they won't hit on me again.)
"Wanna go swimming with me?"
-Facepalm- (Damn. So much for that.) "...Nah. I...have an errand to run. Yeah...an errand. My dear sweet angelic brother that can do no wrong needs some guitar picks and...um...some Coldkiller X..."
"I have Coldkiller X."
-Blank look.- "...You've been drinking it, haven't you?"
"Nope. Been saving it for when I might get a cold. It's still in the box and everything."
-Facepalm- (...If I accept, he'll try to get me out of his dreams and into his box...but if I don't...poor Kyouya will be sick for a while.)
"Well...?"
"...I guess...I could take it. But I still need to get him guitar picks..." -Chintap.-
"...I happen to have a package of those in my pocket." -Slides a package of guitar picks out.-
(Oh crap. And if I accept the guitar picks...that swimming freak will rape me in a swimming pool...) -Bites into his lip, then looks at the brand.- "He's picky about the brand he uses though...that's not the brand he likes of them..." -Grins, sweatdropping.-
"Liar. Guitar picks are guitar picks." -Shoves them in his hand.-
-Shoves the box with the bottle of Coldkiller X in the other hand.- "There ya go."
". . ." -Runs away.-
-Kicks in the side of Hobohodo's box.- "THIS IS YOUR FAULT AGAIN YOU FLEA-BITTEN HOBO!"
"..." -Demonic look.- "You DESTROYED my HOME." -Dives on Gant and starts punching.-
-Walk by together.-
-Glances at them fighting, then sneezes a few times, rubbing his nose with a tissue.-
"...They're being foolishly foolish fools who foolishly fight foolish fights over foolish things...aren't they?" -Sighs- "And you shouldn't be out like this when you've got a cold, my cute little fool."
"I think it's those creepy guys that are always hitting on my nii-chan..." -Sneeze fit- "They're fighting over him again. Um...let's keep going, Mei-Mei..." -Sneeze, sneeze, coughing fit.-
"...I agree. Let's go, my cute little fool..." -Drags him along.- "I'll take you to get some nice chicken soup..."
"...I hope the pool water bursts into flames when you go..."
"I hope your box bursts into flames with you in it."

---

Mitzy, I got a good laugh from both parts of "The War for Love". The pool bursting into flames got me. XD

Unfortunately, despite me having a cold and taking medicine for it, I STILL CAN'T MAKE GOOD CRACK! STUFF. *eats swiss cake rolls and tries to come up with something*

---

I like mine with lettuce and tomatoes, Hiens 57 and french fried potatoes. Big kocher pickle and a cold glass of beer. Good god almighty, which way do I steer?

A free easter egg from Legend of Zelda Ocarina of Time for whoever guesses the song.

---

Hello, Apollo.
Morning, sir.
You've, uh, got a new case today.
Oh, really?
Well? Who is it!?
Er...he's..in the closet. Waiting for you.
.....Excuse me?
Sir, Mr. Justice is here. You may come out.
Feel free to let him in here!
Do what the man says, Apollo.
Hey! Why do I have to go in there!? I'm the one helping him!
Go. Now.
*runs in* DON'T DO IT, KID! HE'LL---
WHAT are you doing in this office AGAIN!?
Uh-oh...
*chases with broom out the office* You! Go!
....Yes, Mr.Gavin, sir.
--a few moments later---
"AAAAAAAAHHH! AAAAH! HOLY GOD IN HEAVEN! HELP MEEE! SOMEONEEE!"
Sorry, kiddo, rape was legalized in 2020.
Erm..so...
Hi! Hi! I'm here! What's up!?
....why are you following us?
DUDE! I have to be in EVERY funny involving GS4!!!
*walks in*
Uh...who are you..?
....*beats Kyouya* TAKE MY PLACE, WILL YOU?
*leaves closet* Well, that was fun! Oh, look at all of you, standing here with me in a locked room!
The door's not locked...
*locks door* Why, of course it is!
I blame you, Kristoph.
I should really go back to alone time. It's safer.

(I personally believe this would make the best Phoenix Wrong EVER.)

( as lead guitar, on bass, doing rhythm guitar...)

DO YOU FOLKS LIKE COFFEE? REAL COFFEE, FROM THE HILLS IN COLUMBIA?!

This can't end well....

THE DUNCAN AWAKE YOU
FROM A THOUSAND DEATHS
A CUP OF BLACKENED BLOOD
DIE DIE
YOU'RE DYING FOR A CUP!

GUATEMALA BLEND
ETHIOPIAN,
FRENCH VANILLA ROAST.
DIE DIE
YOU'RE DYING FOR A CUP

PREPARE FOR ULTIMATE FLAVOR!
YOU'RE GONNA GET SOME NOW
AND SCREAM...FOR YOUR CREAM!!

DUNCAN HILLS, DUNCAN HILLS,
DUNCAN HILLS COFFEE!

...

Brutal.

---

Try to gess the reference

Yo edjworth, come over here
What is it wright, you were interupting my alone time
Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig anyway, I found a extream makeover program on the internet. You put pictures of people and then mess with people. Here i loaded in
Oboy
Befor she messes wiht you

---

:...Hm?What's this?

..."Wright & Co. is falling down"?Well,I've got nothing better to do..

Chapter 1:A Package for Mr. Wright
------------------------------------------
*Miles,the prosecutor,frowned.*
*The yard was a mess.There were pencils and pieces of paper everywhere.
How'd all this junk get here?he wondered.Well,I'm not going to pick it up!*

*It wasn't his job to pick up the garbage.He was just supposed to pass out the coffee during lunch,and make sure the other people at the office didn't kill each other.*

*Miles sighed,and began cleaning it up.He loved all of the people at Wright & Co,or at least most of them.He didn't want the people to be near a dirty yard.
As he was cleaning,a large truck drove into the parking lot.It honked its horn twice,then twice more.
Miles ran to the truck.*
:Quiet!People are trying to work in there!*Miles knew they hated being interupted.*
I have a package for somebody named Mr.Wright.
..I'll take it.
Are you Mr.Wright?
No.
I have to give it to Mr.Wright.
...I'M Mr. Wright!
But you just said you weren't Mr.Wright.
I changed my mind.
...Here you go,Mr.Wright.*hands Miles the package*
Uhh!*The package was very heavy.
*Miles begin his way to Mr.Wright's room.He knew the way by heart,but it was on the top floor.
*Miles finally got to Mr.Wright's room,and knocked on Mr.Wright's door with his head.*
Come in.
I can't open the door.My hands are full.I have a package for you.
*faces the group in his office*Who wants to open the door for Miles?
*Everyone raised there hand.They loved to be interupted.*
Oh dear,how will I choose?I have to be fair about this..
I know!We'll have a spelling contest;the winner will get to open the door.
It's heavy..and I'm very tired..
Just a second!Godot,the first word is for you.Heavy.
Heavy. H-E-A-V-Y.Heavy.
Good.Apollo,you're next.Tired.
Tired.S-L-E-E-P-Y.Tired.
Maya,package.
Package.B-O-X.Package.
Excellent!
*At last Gumshoe opened the door.*
I won!I won,I won,I won,pal!
Very good,Gumshoe..
Aren't you going to shake my hand?
*Miles went into the room.*
Where do you want it,Wright?
I dunno..what is it?
I dunno;I'll have to put it down someplace so you can open it.
But how can I tell you where to put it until I know what it is?You might put it in the wrong place.
*Miles finally got it opened,and in the right place.*
It's a computer!
Get that piece of junk out of here..*sob*
That's dumb,y'know..
We don't want it..
Now,don't be that way.The computer will help us figure out the case.It's a lot easier than everything else.
But the quicker we find things out,the more work we have..
Set it over there,Miles.
*Miles did so,and then collapsed on the floor*
Watch closely.
*Mr.Wright pushed it out the window.*
See?That's how he died.
Oh,now I get it!
Thank you,Miles.I've been trying to tell them how he died with pencils and paper all morning,but the computer was a lot quicker.
-----------------------------------------------
..wonder if these stories are true..

---

^ WAYSIDE SCHOOL <3

Warning: Part three of THE WAR FOR LOVE
And Kirihito's peace

"..." -Kicks the box again.- "...You're not getting him out of your dreams and into the box if I can help it."
"...They closed the pool for the season."
"...I'll just take him to my private hot tub in my home."
"...He's just not a hot-tub type to me. He's a warm box type."
-Facepalm- "...Ahem. I have made my decision you two."
"Is it MEEEEEEEE?!"
"...You want in my box, don'tcha?"
"Nope. Neither of you. I found the one for me."
"You're on crack."
"Show us the mystery man."
"Woman."
"Show us the mystery woman."
"...Show us. Please."
"Come on out, Ki-chan."
"You sure, 'Hito-honey?"
"Behold. The most beautiful woman in existence."
"...Let us destroy her."
"As long as you don't destroy my home again...let's."
"Shall we, surely?"
"Surely, we shall."
-Both dive on Kirio.-
"HEEEEEEELLLLLLLP HIIIIIIITO!"
-Zips down on a zipline.- "I'll save youuuuuuuuu! I'm Tonosama..." -Punched out by Kirihito- "Tonosaman-Hei..." -Swirly eyes.-
"My job, fool." -Yanks Kirio out of the fight.-
"My hero!" -Clings to Kirihito-
"...Let's get goin' baby. You and me have a double date with my baby bro and Mei Karuma."
"...Let's get goin' then, right, honey?"
"Yep." -Trots off all high-and-mighty with Kirio-
-Pushes himself out of the fight.- "...You know what...?"
"We've been had, right?"
"Yeah. We gotta break those two up. And then fight for him ourselves."
"Or you can accept the fact that he's got himself a WOMAN and get on with your lives. Or make out in that nice warm-looking box."
-Eyes Hobohodo.-
-Eyes Gant.-
"...Let's just beat this kid up and leave him bleeding in your box. I can give you a nicer box than this one. And then we can go back to trying to impress blondie."
"Agreed. Gimme a bike chain. You take a knife."
-Face goes pale- "Oh crap." -Beaten to a bloody pulp and left in Hobohodo's old box.-
and -Walk off together for now, plotting their own individual ways to break Kirio and Kirihito up as well as impress Kirihito.-

---

Apologies for the long quote and quoting the whole thing but that was brilliant dullahan.

---

and Tonight, You
Wimper, wimper

----------------------------------------------------------

I was.....
WE KNOW!!!!
Ouch

---

My law alphabet soup (google these if you dont know the meaning)

acquittal
bail
capital offense
defendant
evidence
felony
grand jury
habeas corpus
indictment
judge
killer
lawsuit
magistrate judges (has nothing to do with 's alone time)
nolo contendere

plaintiff
question the witness
record
sentence
testimony
U.S. Attorney
verdict
witness
err..um
x ray
yellow
zoo



THAT WAS HORIBLE. THE LAST 3 DONT MAKE SENSE

________________________________________________________________________________



And thats how I became a hobo
....................
How did come back?
Im saying silent about that
Of course

---

Hello, Mr. Hobo.
Hey, kid.
I just came to let you know I'm placing a lawsuit against you for continual harassment.
....Are you kidding me?
No. I'm sick of your "and that's why I'm a hobo" junk. See you in court, A**hole. *walks away*
....Okay, then.....
------------------
And that's the dream I had last night.
You were a hobo harassing some kid with antennae...and he sued you.
Mm-hmm.
You need to stop taking too much NyQuil.
------------------

Its time for another....

AHA!!! I found you at last!!!

Crap..... I.... uh....

*takes diary* I hope no one harmed you.... *walks out*

Well.... now what? I don't even have an audience... and now my magical adventure stories are gone....

*the door opens and two people are thrown in, along with a book*

I do say.... what in the world are we doing in this lone dark room Odo-kun??? I mean Apollo!!!

I dunno.... isn't this the wrong... time period? I am so confused...

*snatches book* Hello there kiddies! My name is Damon Gant!!! Storyteller extraordinaire!

Damon Gant???

Stand back Odo... Apollo! He is alot tougher than he looks! Arm yourself!

Who is he?

Beats me... I just hate old people...

Ahem... before I decide to include you in my hot threesome, I have a story I would like to share with you.

OOH!!! It'll be just like the old days when Mr. Kristoph would tuck me into bed, give me a glass of warm milk, and sit at my bedside and read me a story until I feel asleep.

Uh.... that was me sweetie.

Really? I can't tell, you both look alike.

Hello??? I look nothing like my horrendous brother!!! I AM NOT A FOUR-EYED FREAK!!!

I thought you were wearing contacts....

AHEM!!!! Can I start my story??? Today's story is fantastically entitled.... uh... *looks at book and flips through pages* AHA!!!

Problems in the courtroom!!!! It all started in the Court lobby.....

-------------*in the court lobby*--------------------
Ahh... it feels great to be here again!!! Today, Miles Edgeworth is going down!!! I will remain victorious over that loser!

Its just a case.... not a contest.

Haven't you noticed, Maya? I haven't lost a single case against that so-called demon prosecutor! I AM UNSTOPPABLE!!!! Hahahaha!!!

What about your client?

As long as get him declared innocent, I will win against Edgeworth once more! HA!

Our client is a she....

Who cares. Its all about winning.

Right....

You will.... defend me, right? I didn't kill anybody Mr. Nick!!! I swear!!! Mr. Hotti set me up!

Don't worry, your innocence will be seen through in the end because I am awesome like that.... uh... who are you again?

I'm Pearl, Mr. Nick!!!

Pearl...... nope, don't ring a bell!

That's my lil cute cousin Pearly, Nick!!! She's been with us since...

SHUT UP!!! According to my watch, its ten o' clock!!! Time to go kick some butt!!! *runs into the courtroom*

I'm doomed....

What a weirdo....
--------------------------------------

Wait.... this man sounds alot like that hobo who is always following me around and trying to get himself some free food.... and get me in his box....

Ooh.... sounds kinky, you'll have to introduce me to him.... I mean.... YOU'RE INTERRUPTING MY STORY!!!

*in corner sucking thumb* Need..... guitar..... haven't..... played..... in 5 minutes..... feeling.....withdrawals....

Oh Kristoph-sensei, you always say such silly things!

MY NAME IS KLAVIER!!!!!!

..........

...........

Why can't I be accepted for who I am???

I accept you Kris...

BACK TO THE STORY!!!!
---------------*in the courtroom*-------------------
*insert random mumbling from the useless jury, followed by a gavel bang from the judge*

Court is now is session for the trial of Pearl Fey.

The prosecution is ready your honor.

The defense is way more ready than the prosecution will ever hope to be!!!

.....'Kay.... any opening statements.

*raises hand* Pick me! Pick me!!!

Um.... yes Mr. Wright?

My client is innocent. I know because I am better than Edgeworth, therefore... I mean ERGO, I have already won the case!

How DARE you steal my phrase Wright!

The defense has a good point... I guess I can deliever the verdict...

HEY!!!! I didn't even get a chance to prosecute! Wright, you suck!!!

Hmm... the prosecution brings up a very good point.... Mr. Wright? Any thoughts?

Um.... Edgeworth has unnatural tendecies to touch himself while he prosecutes in court.

Mr. Edgeworth!!!! Is this true???

Um... I... uh....Wright gets a kick out of seeing the elderly naked!!!

MR. WRIGHT!!!! YOU PERVERT!!! STOP LOOKING AT ME WITH THOSE UNDRESSING EYES!

I'm not your honor..... if Edgeworth is going to be like this, I suggest we bring in a witness....

Alright.

*witness enters*

Witness, name and occupation.

Steel Samurai... occupation? Um... saving Neo Ole' Tokyo.

We have had over 1200 reports accounting your credibility of seeing the crime in full action. Am I correct?

Yes.

The testify.

I'll break you down in cross-examination!!!! I am the best!!!

Ok....... anyways.....



There I was.... in the Hotti clinic. Dr. Hotti was sleeping on the couch when I heard a fight in the next room. I walked on over in there to see the most cutest little girl in the world. She was having an argument with a boy named Sue. The boy kept on telling the girl... I think her name was Pearl.... that she was a poo-poo head. She then took out a knife and stabbed him in the heart.

Okay, the autopsy report does indeed state that Sue died from one stab to the heart and I have the knife right here and it has the killer's fingerprints.

The court accepts both of these items into evidence.

Ok.... now to look through my court record and check my evidence.... *looks through court record and finds the knife, autopsy report... and 5 cents....*

Crap... investigation sure didn't go well that day.... oh well... *takes out 5 cents*



You um.... are wrong!!!! My client is innocent...

No she's not... we got it all on camera. From about 6 different angles. She even went up to the camera and stared at it for about 5 minutes... we got a good look at her face...

Um.... *throws 5 cents at the steel samurai*

OWW!!!

Mr. Wright! You are hereby penalized!!! You lose all your HP!!!!

NO!!!! It can't be!!!

Now to lay down the verdict.... I declare the defendant.... Pearl Fey....

*suddenly, an earthquake hits and it blacks out*

*lets out a fart*

*earthquake stops and lights come back on*

Now then... as I was saying... I declare the defendant.... Pearl Fey.... *sniffs air* GOOD GOD!!! WHO DID IT???

HOLY SNAPPLE!!! THE SMELL!!!!

IT WAS EDGEWORTH!!! HE DID IT!!!

Wha??? Don't you go blaming this on me....

Mr. Edgeworth! For your horrible deeds, I declare you in contempt of court!!! You lose the case!

Wha??? But I didn't...

I hereby declare the defendant.... Pearl Fey....



IN YOUR FACE EDGEWORTH!!! I TOTALLY... *lets out another fart*

What the??? Wright! It was you!

IT WAS???

Hey, you already declared my client innocent. No do overs judge.

Crap...
------------------------------------
*closes book* And that is why you should drink plenty of fluids before you decide to fight in court.

*sleeping*

I.... think.... I just got stupider after hearing this..... THIS is the legacy they left behind?

Yes.

Life.... is worthless..... WHERE'S MY GUITAR?!?!?

Don't worry..... I'll be sure to use it when we have our sexy time.... *wink*

Oh sweet...... wait.... what?

*pushes button and Apollo and Klavier fall down a hole* Alright, now what was today's lesson? I'll tell you what it was! Everyone is special. Even you. If you want to see how special you really are, just come and pay me a visit. And that, is the moral of my story. Now, if you will excuse me... I have some business to take care of. *walks off*

---

Haven't seen anyone else say it, so I will. Cheeseburger in Paradise, Jimmy Buffett.

D1, I thought Klavier had an accent, but it was funny anyway.

---

HAY THAR EDGEWORTH. What's up?
I'm filing a missing persons report.
Oh? Someone went missing?
Erm..yeah. Two Feys and two young boys.
Well, maybe I've seen 'em. Can I see?
Alright.
(Picture 1 added to Phoenix's pocket.)
(Picture 2 stuck to gum in Phoenix's pocket. Ewwww.)
Mmkay, then. *robotic voice* COURT RECORD. EXAMINE. PICTURE 1.
[ ]
Huh...never seen him. *robotic voice* COURT RECORD. EXAMINE. PICTURE TWO.
[ ]
......
Hey...Edgeworth.
Yes?
Here's a twenty. Forget this poser.
..."Poser," Wright?
Er..I mean..HE'S BEEN CONVICTED FOR MURDERRRRRR!
OH EM JEEEEEE.

-Is flipping channels on a TV-

-----------------------------
Hello!This is ...a respected buisness-man wanting to advertise his buisness!
Here at Crack-No-More,we make your crack pairings into REAL pairings!
Tired of everyone saying "That makes no sense!"?Then just hop down here!Take a look at some of our more succesful pairings.

Come in.
...how did I get here?how come I'm not in Hotel Dusk anymore?
Hold on a moment,I'm the one asking questions.Have you ever met a man named Miles Edgeworth?
..No,I haven't.
mm-hmm,mm-hmm..*writes something down*
Now,say you do know this person..would you like him?
..probably not.
...Are you suuurre?
..Yes,of course I am!I'm not gay.
Haha..sure.Next!

..mrrr?
Why hello there.Have you ever met a person named Damon Gant?
.....mrr?
You have?Good..now,do you like Damon?
mrrr???!!!
Wonderful!Wait in the other room for a moment,please.-Gets Miles,Gant,Shoe,and Kyle all in one room-

..alright,where's Bradley?
Where's Phoenix?
Mrrr?
. . .
Aww,it's just so cute seeing new couples.
...WHAT?
Miles,meet Kyle Hyde.He loves you.
-both- WHAAAT?
And Mr.Gant..meet Shoe.
. . .
Why,he looks rather...handsome?Dare I say,sexy?
*hisss*

Well..Kyle,Miles,your room is over there.Mr.Gant,Shoe,your room is over there.
..please kill me.
..*begins to cry*
*hisssss*
Ho ho ho!We'll have fun!

So,as you can see,our buisness is sucsessful!Just call us and we'll get ANYONE you need!
--------------------------------------
that's...that's strange.
-knocks on his door-Excuse me!
-opens the door-..what is it?
..You're coming with us.

-later-

where...am...I?
Hello!I have a question..do you know a certain person named Winston Payne?
..what?
oo-hoo..Bring out Payne!

Where am I..
uhm...what am I doing here again?
Winston,Yanni..I'd like to announce you a new couple.
W-W-WHAAAT??
T-th-tha-that makes no sense!
Ahh,love..

-3 days later-
Where's the idiot?Where's the idiot?

---

He does??? Oops. I wouldn't know because I'm trying to keep myself as GS4 free as possible. lol. Thanks for letting me know though!

---

this evidence proves my client is not guilty!

but,it dosent make a bit of difference guys...
THE EVIDENCE IS INERT!!!
but umm the uhh
MR. WRIGHT!
WHAT!
your evidence IS inert! that means your client is...

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
*that day i ran out of the court room...the miracle never happen*
----------------------------------
and thats how i became a hobo.
well...hey its better than any other excuse.
yep
hmmm *grabs a flamethrower and burns hobohodo's box*
*in a demonic voice* HOW DARE YOU! *burns apollo with demon eyes*
ARGHHHHH!!!*dies*
dont mess with my box!


END...?

---

Warning: The final chapter of The War for Love
And a nice warm hobo box.

"...Damn...looks like all our plans have failed thus far, eh Hobo?"
"...If you weren't breaking that broad's glasses..."
"You're the one who kept on stealing glasses from that sexy target of ours."
"...I wanted to see how he'd react...and try to lure him out of the car during that drive-in movie..."
"Fat lotta good that did you."
"Ya could leave me outta this, reckon'course."
"...Crap...she's mad."
-Sways with a bottle of whiskey in his hand.- "That broad ditched me for my brother's ex...I hope they're happy whipping each other..."
"...We're enemies again."
"...We're always enemies."
"Good point." -Kicks the side of the box.- "HE'LL NEVER JOIN YOU IN YOUR BOX!"
"Pool's closed."
"I'll just hijack your box...if I have to."
"Oh hi there...aren't you that pervy old man that tells my angelic brother that can do no wrong those bedtime stories? And aren't you that crazy hobo that's always wrapped up in his flea-bitten blanket?"
"Um..."
"Sure?"
"...I need a warm place to stay tonight..." -Sways- "My brother kicked me out because he said I reek of alcohol..."
"Ugh...he's right." -Walks away.-
"...Oh yeah~! I win."
"Huh?" -Tilts his head.- "What'd you say, Mr. Hobo?"
"Erm...I mean...welcome to my humble abode. Be it ever so humble, there's no place like home..."
-Leans on all drunkenly.- "You have pretty eyes..."
"...Shush." -Squishes the other's cheeks slightly and leans forward.-
"OH MY FRAGILE HEART! SEMPAI GET AWAY FROM THAT DIRTY HOBO!"
-Jerks out of Hobohodo's grasp.- "...You tried to ply me with alcohol, didncha buddy? So you could get me in your damn dirty box...?"
"...You're the one who got yourself drunk..."
-Twitch- "I beg...your...I beg your pardon...?"

-------------
"...And that's the nightmare I had when I had a fever..."
"But...but...I nursed you back to health, didn't I?"
"Yeah."
"And I took good care of you, didn't I?"
"Yeah."
"And I helped really good, didn't I?"
"True..."
"And I took advantage of you in your sick state...riiiight?"
"HOW THE HELL DID HE GET IN HERE?!"

---

So what are we going to make fun of now?
...Let's make fun of Japaneze horror movies.
Sounds cool. Let's do that.
----
*Is looking a Maya, who is laying in a hospital bed. He notices a small, folded up stack of papers in her back pocket. He pulls it out, then walks over to a desk across the room, pulls out another stack of papers that match it, then starts reading* The fourth siren has sounded...
*You hear an air raid siren noise blare as she opens her eyes*
...I must kill them all.
*You see her looking all evil as she holds up a dagger*
*Cries out in pain as the screen cuts to black*
----
When the siren sounds, you must not go outside!
----
That's it?
A'yup.
That sucked...

---

Heres one for the Michigan and Ohio State fans...

Michigan vs Wisconsin

Im telling you Wright Michigan will wipe the floor with them.

whatever you say edgeworth ol' buddy

Later...

ZOMG WTF! they LOST!?

Ha told ya...

Ohio State vs Illinois aftermath

HOW THE HELL DID THEY LOSE!? THEYRE NUMBER 1!!

WERE Wright WERE now they are not.

Ohio State will still wipe the floor with Michigan I'm tellin ya...

Ha if they cant beat Illinois they can't beat Michigan Wright.

Appalachian State

SHUT UP AND DROP IT ALREADY!

---

(me) Theres just one thing i dont get. Why after 3 games of PW do we shift to a new cast, saving olny and of course . And then we go from the abstract background of sprit mediums and go to magicins. Why also do we end the life of charactures that so many people love like . we also end the posible relationship between / for (CI) leaving him with nothing to folow and exploit. We also have , what would Sigmund Furid say about that and the ponytails of . None of this makes sense, care to explain?

Im saying silent about that.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
(CI) The hobo dies at dawn. And I can sell tapes of his murder for $11.99
------------------------------------------
NOTE READ THIS THE FOLOWING CONTIAIS POLIDICAL MATERIAL. DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE OFFENDED BY POLIDICAL HUMOR

---

Last edited by FuturePWAA on Wed Nov 14, 2007 2:59 am, edited 1 time in total.

The Hotti one made me laugh.

I couldn't understand anything else in the post, though.

---

The Greek people had many gods and goddeses, one for each aspect of life. Here are the PW cast as gods and goddeses.

God of objections
God of alone time and emo-ness
Goddess of whips
God of coffe
God of child molesters
God of big words, splenderfireoustastic
God of the word 'AYUP'
Goddess of breaking glases
Goddess of misfortune
God of cinimon bun hair
Goddess of electronic stuff
God of hair that resembles that of the rear-end of a chicken
God of saying silent about that
God of losing girlfrends
God of the sent of fresh lemons
Goddess of the evil and weird laugh
God of the perverted doctors
God of humor
God of ................. well you know
Goddess of drawings
God of evil people who resemble lawyers
Goddess of hats that are bigger than the owners heads
Goddess of wipernsapers and talkingsofastthatnoonecancomprehndwhatisbeaingsaid
Goddess of low quality lunches

---

You're a crook!
Oh yeah? You're a bum!
You're an old fool!
...
Er, of course I meant that in the best way possible.
Of course, which is how I took it.
Say, I like that tie, old friend.
You should, I borrowed it from you seven years ago!
What?! You're a crook!
Oh yeah? You're a bum!
You're an old fool!

Waldorf and Statler FTW

---

Warning: May Contain a Not-So-Famous videogame ref and a KOF 2003 spoiler...in a way.

Peaceful Planet Invaded? OHNOES! [Gunstar Heroes]
"WE'VE HAVE TO STOP HIM!"
"Um...yeah! We have...to...um...STOP HIM!"
(Okie-dokie...time to look bad-ass on a mech platform...say nothing...look cool...follow those two dweebs and their guns...)
-Shot goes to the top of a really tall platform with someone all dressed in red at the top.-
"Your journey ends--oh screw it. I hate being dressed like M. Bison!" -Storms off, then changes into a more comfortable red suit.- "YOUR JOURNEY ENDS HERE! HAHAHAHAHA!"
-Cut to the trio standing on a lower down, but still quite high platform.-
"...Like...dude...where is he?"
"THAT LIGHT! It's too late..." -Sighs.-
"...It's your fault you two. I told you it'd be faster if we all took my mech platform..."
"...That's mean, Greenix..."
"Oh well...who cares...Mat--I mean Blue?"
"...You didn't even smart off to me..."
"Shut up Odoro--I mean Red."
-Cut to scene of a girl standing atop a treetop.-
"No...the earth...under one person's power..." -Goes all teary-eyed.-

...DAMN YOU MUKAI! [King of Fighters 2003]

"Did they get away?"
"No. Looks like we were transported here. Fascinating. Who knew that sunuvagun we just fought had such a cool power...I oughtta steal it..."
"........waitwut?"
"I mean...fascinating power, transportation is."
-Seethes and stuff.- "GRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAH! Feh...can't cry over escaped thugs, but I'm not gonna let 'em get away. I'M GOING AFTER THEM. Wanna set straight who REALLY is the strongest...but I guess my fun will have to wait."
"See y'all in the funny papers, dudes...we really oughtta mix it up sometime...y'know?"
"That's the pepper. You all are the aces, that's for sure...but that's enough admiration, 'til we meet again, dudes."
"Now what're your plans, emo-boy?"
"Nng!" -Has a flash of in his mind.- "I gotta leave you here too. Seems like I've got engagements elsewhere." -Disappears.-
"Damn you Mukai. I wanna steal your power like I did Chizuru Kagura's..."

---

THE BRADY BUNCH...
Feel the wrath of the parents! NOW DRINK YOUR COFFEE OR NO DESSERT FOR YOU!

WE'RE SIBLINGS?!

Foolish, fools of siblings!
I'm HUNGRY!
Who wants to be my test subject?

It could be funnier, especially with all the different combinations you can come up with, but eh, I gave it a shot. Anyone is free to go from here with the idea.

---

Just because it was liked in the other topic...


Lets go find Gourdy today Edgeworth!

Mr. Wright, that would require a boat, do you know anything about boats or sailing?

Sure I do!

Well in that case, say a strong north wind picks up, what will you do?

I'd throw out an anchor!

Alright, but then what if a strong south wind started blowing?

I'd throw out an anchor!

....... but what if a strong east wind starts up?

I'd throw out an anchor!

WHERE ARE YOU GETTING ALL THOSE ANCHORS FROM!?

Same place you're getting all that wind! ^.^

---