Gender: Male
Location: The Shadow Realm
Rank: Ace Attorney
Joined: Wed Mar 07, 2007 10:37 pm
Posts: 1320

Hi, I'm Chinese Infantry, once again using the body of Yuusaku to enter the funny as himself. Recently, certain people have questioned the ethics of this practice, showing it to have longterm psychological effects on the host body's real personality. Well, I too have thought about those things, but I guess I really didn't give enough of a fuck to care! However, now it is time for another origin video: where we take a somewhat popular joke, dissect it and explain it so it isn't funny anymore! So without further ado:
THE ORIGIN OF SMILIE POSSESSION:

The joke itself was based off the practice in Red Vs. Blue of ghosts being able to possess robots as vessels for them to come back to life. In a similar manner, authors can use smilies to have life in the funny itself. I used Yuusaku for two reasons:
1. Not a lot of funnies used him, so I figured it would be a safe bet.
2. I was stamped as him on the gyakusai_ratings LiveJournal community.

Several instances of this practice have been done on the old forums when the author was simply too lazy to make a smilie of themselves. However, possession now seems to be the accepted excuse for why a Phoenix Wright character is suddenly doing an author's bidding. At first, I went through the motions, but as time went on, I eventually stopped doing this for the same reason: I was lazy. As for if I will make a smilie for myself, due to the fact that I have done image editing before, I have this to say: not fucking likely! And that is what I came here to say. Now sit back, relax, enjoy the after party and pour yourself a tall glass of whatever beverage you enjoy. Thank you!
***

*Farts*

*talking with Canadian flapping head and Canadian accent* I say, Matt, did you just fart?

*Also talking with Canadian flapping head and Canadian accent* Yes I did, Max *farts again, then sniffs* Ahh, refreshing like a spring breeze!

AHHH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!
***

Ermmm, sorry about that. That was archived footage I made of an unused joke. Here's the actual sketch:
Chinese Infantry presents (and finishes off what he started):
~The After Party of the Wedding of Phoenix Wright and Maya Fey Miles Edgeworth~

HA HA HA, VERY FUNNY, GODOT!

Just trying to make it accurate, bitch!

Ahem! As I was saying...
~The After Party of the Wedding of Phoenix Wright and Maya Fey~
*Location: Gourd Lake....again....*

Hey, uhh, Pearl is it? Can I ask you a favor.

What is it, Miss Skye?

Could you channel your older cousing for me?

Uhh, why, Miss Skye?

I....want to see her again.

Ok....

Did someone call for me.

Mia! *hugs Mia* I'm sorry to hear about what happened between you and Kaminogi.

Ohh...don't worry about it....

*blushes* Well now that he's out of the way *starts fondling Mia* how about a little more "experimentation"?

*blushes* Lana, you....must be hot in that dress. Let me help you out of it *starts taking off Lana's dress*
*Location: Front Stage*

I would like to make the first toast. First: to my good friend Wright for his marriage. Not only am I glad for his happiness, but finally people will stop calling me gay! I would also like to make a toast to Maya for the same reason. I would like the admit that although as first I did have a crush on her, I'm glad she is happy with Wright. *notices Mia and Lana* I'd go on longer, but I just saw something sexually arousing and therefore must have my world famous alone time *goes off to mas...*

Our Kazakhstani guest Borat would like to make a toast as well.

Jagshemash! I would like to clink glass to spiky hair liar and small-tit medium for wedding. May you make good romance explosion tonight in bedroom. I would also like to make toast to two women in back making a sexytime!

Say WHAT? MIA! LANA! STOP HAVING SEX BACK THERE! THIS IS A WEDDING FOR FUCK'S SAKE!

Huh?

...Doesn't it turn you on?

Yes! And that's the problem. I still have a toast to make and I can't do it if I'm fondling myself on stage! Once I'm done, proceed fucking eachother.....please.

Fine!

Right! First of all, I would like to make a toast to Phoenix and Maya for finally tying the knot. I always knew you two were right for eachother! Second, I would like to make a toast to all the people on Court Records. I love you guys. I want to kiss each and every one of you! Also, a few people I would like to acknowledge: Tsurikato for making the wedding sketch. You're artwork is awesome and I'm glad you did that for me, considering I could not give you anything in return *looks down*. I love you! Also I would like to acknowledge ButzPuff for sending me that positive PM complimenting my work: much love, man, much love! Also to RevFirst for creating the awesomeness known as Phoenix Wrong: Next Generation. Your work will truly be a revolution in Phoenix Wrong flashes. Also to all of the fans of my work: you guys are great. Really, you are!

And that concludes Chinese Infantry's suck-up hour, bitch!

Godot, please find the nearest wooden plank and shove it up your ass sideways. Everyone else, it is now time for Maya to throw the customary bouquet!
(Authors Note: I seriously have no idea how this is supposed to go, so if I fuck up bad, just tell me)

Alright, maybe I'll take some luck this time!

I'm ready.

You foolishly foolish fools won't stand a chance.

*TsuriKato* Wheee! This is my favorite part of the wedding!

*LySs* Mine too!

*Friska Swift* Hmm, I've got a good feeling about this.

LET'S DO THIS!

Elias? What the hell are you doing?

I'm trying to catch the bouquet of flower from the bride.

No, you see, only the women are allowed to do that.

Well then: why is Franziska allowed to participate then?

*Whips Elias*

OHH SWEET JEBUS!

Before I throw the bouquet: I would like to say that Franziska von Karma is disqualified from participating.

Ohh, you better have a good reason!

I have two! One: I know for a fact you will just whip anyone and everyone that trys to catch the bouquet. Two: since Adrian is also participating, you are effectively doubling your chances of winning and since Adrian isn't wielding a whip, I'm disqualifying you.

DAMMIT! *Looks over at Adrian* you better catch it, or I'm going to punish you so hard tonight!

*blushes* Oooooh, sounds hot!

And Elias, you are disqualified by default because you're a guy.

....fuck........

Now then *throws the bouquet*
*Insert female wedding guests scrambling for bouquet here*

*Catches the bouquet* Yaaay, it's good to finally have some luck for once. So, what do I do now?

Well, you're the next to get married, so start making arrangements!

Ok *latches onto Gumshoe* you hear that, big guy? Someone else is getting married sooooooon!

Huh? Who, pal?

Well, whatever, I feel like a drink. *Goes over to a bowl, apparently containing punch* hello, is this punch? Don't mind if I do!

*RevFirst* You might not want to drink that.

Rev? Tell me again why you are possessing Hobohodo?

Because I didn't want to enter the funny as a parrot, maybe?

*Darzie P.* Seriously..........don't ask......

So why don't I want to drink the punch?

*Points to Godot* That's why.....

*In his underwear, holding a microphone that isn't plugged in singing*
When the coffee pimp's in the crib ma
Drop it like it's hot
Drop it like it's hot
Drop it like it's hot
When the judge trys to get at ya
Park it like it's hot
Park it like it's hot
Park it like it's hot
And if a witness get a attitude
Pop it like it's hot
Pop it like it's hot
Pop it like it's hot
I got the bitches on my arm and I'm pouring Coffee, mon
And I roll the best weed cause Maruhodou and Edgeworth like to get in on!

Look, I'm not planning to get drunk...

No, it's not that. He only have one glass.

So...

Yup! Rev and I spiked the punch....

Ok......why?

Well, we needed some new ideas for Phoenix Wrong: Next Generation, so we're going around to weddings and spiking the punch so we can record the antics these guys perform for my next batch of flash shorts.

Ok, that's just wrong.

...And videotaping people while they have sex and selling the tapes isn't?

Hmm...touche.
*Meanwhile, on the dance floor*

*Dancing with Phoenix* I didn't know you could dance, Nick!

Well, I took lessons a couple of months ago so I wouldn't look like a complete ass to you when this day came.

Aww, that's so sweet of you! *kisses Phoenix* But I still would love you even if you danced like....say isn't that Godot dancing to Snoop Dogg's "Drop it Like It's Hot?"

Yeah, too bad that isn't even the song playing.

WHAT THE HELL IS GANT DOING?

*Singing and dancing like Michael Jackson*
BILLIE JEAN IS NOT MY LOVER!
SHE'S JUST A GIRL WHO SAYS THAT I AM THE ONE!
BUT THE KID IS NOT MY SON!

Gant, why are you singing Billie Jean? That's not even the song playing.

Ohh Wrighto my boy, the music here sucks, so I brought my own on my iPod.

...and why do you have Michael Jackson on you iPod again.

BECAUSE HE MOLESTS CHILDREN...LIKE MEEEE!

Ok, go be a sick fuck on the opposite side the dance floor so Maya and I can dance. *Resumes dancing*

Ohh Nick, you're so amazing at this.

I know *kisses Maya*
*Song ends*

That was the best, Nicky-darling *pulls Phoenix in for a long kiss*

Anything for you, my dear. Another round, perhaps.

I'm a bit thirsty, let's grab a drink.

Ok *notices Morgan Fey* Hey, I thought you were in jail.

They let me out on parole so I could see Mystic Maya get married.
(The same one you help frame for murder....) Ok...

's ass: LAST TIME I GAVE A SHIT, I GOT FUCKED!

....Did your ass just talk like a midget with tourettes?

Erm, weird. That's what Ini said to me when I left prison.

's ass: LETS SEE YOU TRY TO WALK A MILE IN THIS BITCH'S SHIT!

Ermmm...okay, Maya and I are going to grab a drink now.

Okay, I guess.

's ass: OHH BOB SAGET!

*At the punch bowl* WHY I COULD SURE USE A DRINK AFTER ALL THAT DIRTY DANCING! SAY, IS THIS FOR ME?

*Snickers* yeah, help yourself !

*snickers* heh, yeah, knock yourself out!

WHY THANK YOU! *downs punch in one gulp*
(DUDE! Did he just...do that?) 
DAMN THIS IS SOME GOOOOD SHIT! I FEEL LIKE I COULD CONQUER THE WORLD *starts taking off his clothes*

Aww, man, another stripper!

Dude, roll it anyways, he might do something else, like try to molest Pearl or...

*Is now naked* I FEEL LIKE I COULD SWIM ACROSS THE PACIFIC OCEAN *Jumps into the Lake* HEY EVERYONE, LET'S GO SWIMMING!

...You spiked the punch, didn't you?

Damn, how did you guess.

I know Gant's idiocy level. He usually isn't that idiotic unless he's drunk. And since I know for a fact that there isn't enough alcohol in one glass of punch to get someone drunk, I only assumed that it was spiked.

How did you know it was us?

Because you're the two biggest fucking Wedding Crashers ever. Well besides the guys on the movie Wedding Crashers.

Aww don't be pissy about it. Here, have a beer instead *hands Phoenix a beer bottle*

You didn't spike that as well, did you?

Believe me, we've tried, but couldn't do it without leaving evidence that it was tampered with.

And so, the party went on like so. Dances were had, stupid drunken happenings occured with Rev and Darzie videotaping them, Phoenix and Maya kissed a whole bunch, Edgeworth had alone time on at least three non-consecutive occasions and fun was had by all....except Godot. As for adhdgeniusmitsu's question: here you go:
*Location: Bedroom*

*In bed with Phoenix, naked* that was an amazing day, Nick, I'm glad to finally be married to you.

*Also naked* And who would have thought that young girl I defended for murder would end up being the one.

I guess we were meant to be. *Cuddles up to Nick* I love you, Mr. Wright!

*Pulls Maya up to him* And I love you too, Mrs. Wright!

And so, the two kissed and fell asleep in eachother's arms and lived together happily ever after, blah blah blah! Thank you for reading the Wedding of Phoenix Wright and Maya Fey! Good night!
~The End~
I yell "OBJECTION!" in the court sometimes!
Last edited by Chinese Infantry on Fri Jul 20, 2007 1:41 am, edited 1 time in total.