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Things You've Learned From Pheonix Wright...*SPOILERS*
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Author:  TheSteelSamurai [ Sat Mar 29, 2008 11:42 pm ]
Post subject:  Things You've Learned From Pheonix Wright...*SPOILERS*
A sort-of parody thread. NO APOLLO JUSTICE TALK, PLEASE!!!

I'll start it off with something I've learned:

No matter what the circumstances, a dying person will try to write down the name of their killer. And, even if they broke their neck or the alleged killer was a teenage girl who made a mistake, the police will never suspect it was someone other than the victim who wrote it.
Author:  arimnaes [ Sat Mar 29, 2008 11:51 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Things You've Learned From Pheonix Wright...*SPOILERS*
The true killer always comes in to testify against the poor sap they set up to take the fall. Because clearly that's safer than simply avoiding the trial altogether.
Author:  Caelestis [ Sun Mar 30, 2008 12:00 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Things You've Learned From Pheonix Wright...*SPOILERS*
Well I've learned that Prosecution always gets the evidence and the police force to back them up while the poor defense has to scrounge for evidence, illegally take it, and bribe poor police officers :sadshoe: for information and an autopsy report.
:redd:
Author:  TheSteelSamurai [ Sun Mar 30, 2008 12:05 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Things You've Learned From Pheonix Wright...*SPOILERS*
(Well, Dee did try to avoid the trial. And, in most cases, they're not left with any other choice.XD)

I've learned:

The Prosecution is NOT your friend...yet will still end up being paired with you romantically in a series of fanfics, fanart, and doujinshi the minute you agree on even the slightest thing.
Author:  Clarissa Gavin [ Sun Mar 30, 2008 12:09 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Things You've Learned From Pheonix Wright...*SPOILERS*
^ I dislike you.

What I've learned:
No matter how thorough the police are while investigating a scene, they always have to go back the next day to find something they missed.
Author:  TheSteelSamurai [ Sun Mar 30, 2008 12:19 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Things You've Learned From Pheonix Wright...*SPOILERS*
I <3 Edgeworth wrote:
^ I dislike you.


That was rude and uncalled for, not to mention it made no sense whatsoever, since this is a PARODY thread. It will be reported accordingly.


Getting back on-topic:

I've learned that having "Samurai" in the title will make any show ridiculously popular, even if the concept is completely ridiculous(A ninja with a bright red guitar?>_>;).
Author:  Leo [ Sun Mar 30, 2008 12:22 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Things You've Learned From Pheonix Wright...*SPOILERS*
TheSteelSamurai wrote:
I <3 Edgeworth wrote:
^ I dislike you.


That was rude and uncalled for, not to mention it made no sense whatsoever, since this is a PARODY thread. It will be reported accordingly.


Getting back on-topic:

I've learned that having "Samurai" in the title will make any show ridiculously popular, even if the concept is completely ridiculous(A ninja with a bright red guitar?>_>;).


That was Jammin' NINJA.

I learned that manly women can somehow me attractive to straight men! :adrian:
Author:  Ulala [ Sun Mar 30, 2008 12:30 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Things You've Learned From Pheonix Wright...*SPOILERS*
I've learned that people do speak in internet style off the internet. >_>
Author:  Clarissa Gavin [ Sun Mar 30, 2008 12:41 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Things You've Learned From Pheonix Wright...*SPOILERS*
TheSteelSamurai wrote:
I <3 Edgeworth wrote:
^ I dislike you.


That was rude and uncalled for, not to mention it made no sense whatsoever, since this is a PARODY thread. It will be reported accordingly.

I apoligize. It was quite rude. I just got a bit touchy since you sorta insulted P/E. It's not only because, as you put it, they agree on the slightest thing. There's a lot of other evidence to back it up. You may have been being sarcastic or not really meaning it, and as I said, I apoligize. I hope you can forgive my insolence. That, and you've got to understand, not everyone means everything they say on this thread. I'd never seriously hold it against you if we were in a different conversation.

Even game designers, who are supposed to be against the man, are afriad of having openly gay characters. So they settle for not hiding the sweet, sweet, gayness very well.
Author:  MikeMeekins [ Sun Mar 30, 2008 12:45 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Things You've Learned From Pheonix Wright...*SPOILERS*
I've learned that weird hairstyles are FTW.

And that 7 year old kids have nothing better to do than sneak into movie studios during school.
Author:  TheSteelSamurai [ Sun Mar 30, 2008 12:57 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Things You've Learned From Pheonix Wright...*SPOILERS*
I <3 Edgeworth wrote:
I apoligize. It was quite rude. I just got a bit touchy since you sorta insulted P/E. It's not only because, as you put it, they agree on the slightest thing. There's a lot of other evidence to back it up. You may have been being sarcastic or not really meaning it, and as I said, I apoligize. I hope you can forgive my insolence. That, and you've got to understand, not everyone means everything they say on this thread. I'd never seriously hold it against you if we were in a different conversation.

Even game designers, who are supposed to be against the man, are afriad of having openly gay characters. So they settle for hiding the sweet, sweet, gayness!


That would be why I made it clear this was a parody thread. I never even actually insulted the pairing, and really have no problems with it at all. They are quite cute together. It's just like people making fun of Ron DeLite's hair. Doesn't mean they dislike him in any way, shape, or form.


I've learned that evil NEVER dies. :chinami:
Author:  Clarissa Gavin [ Sun Mar 30, 2008 1:03 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Things You've Learned From Pheonix Wright...*SPOILERS*
^ I understand that now. My mind tends to be clouded for a few moments when I feel something very strongly, and even in that short time, I can end up doing something I regret. No hard feelings, then?

99.9% of the people the police arrest are innocent of the crime they're charged with.
Author:  TheSteelSamurai [ Sun Mar 30, 2008 1:19 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Things You've Learned From Pheonix Wright...*SPOILERS*
I suppose.O_O Good thing I'm not Acro, huh?

And "ninja" was just their codeword for samurai.>_> Yeah, you know it...


I've learned that only real men are brave enough to wear pink. And the bravest are the ones who wear it on national television, pretending to be a girl. :will:
Author:  Wrighteous Fury [ Sun Mar 30, 2008 1:48 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Things You've Learned From Pheonix Wright...*SPOILERS*
I've learned that on one came through those doors last night.

Image
Author:  The Innocent [ Sun Mar 30, 2008 1:53 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Things You've Learned From Pheonix Wright...*SPOILERS*
o_o; is this a serious thread? rofl XD cuz it sure doesnt seem like it :yuusaku:

Serious: I learned that no matter how difficult or how bad the situation might seem, you should never give up >:] (of cuz, i believed in this way before the game but...lol it still counts, right?! :O).

Not-so-serious: I've learned that you can always persuade an officer into telling you the details of a crime. I've also learned that the real killer would always be one of the witnesses (similar to what arimnaes said)
Author:  Oos [ Sun Mar 30, 2008 1:59 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Things You've Learned From Pheonix Wright...*SPOILERS*
I've learned that even if guys wear mascara, flip their hair, fret about fashion and talk about bananas, people in the fandom will STILL say they're straight. :C
Author:  WhiteElephant [ Sun Mar 30, 2008 1:59 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Things You've Learned From Pheonix Wright...*SPOILERS*
I learned when people break down or expose the truth they usually have crazy effects and or gestures to along with them.

Perfect examples:

:zap: :spload: :headbang: :cough: :zennybw: :evil: :glasses: :toupee: :foam:

Some not listed as smilies: Dahlia's evil spirit flames, Luke Atmey's crazy laughter and probably others that I forgot about.

Now if real court hearings were like that then I think court would be 5x more interesting to watch 8D -shot-

Lol, ON ONE CAME THROUGH THE DOORS -loves that typo- Ah, Pearls <3
Author:  TheSteelSamurai [ Sun Mar 30, 2008 2:19 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Things You've Learned From Pheonix Wright...*SPOILERS*
The Innocent wrote:
o_o; is this a serious thread? rofl XD cuz it sure doesnt seem like it.


It's a parody thread-the first post says so.^^;


I've learned birds are considered credible witnesses.O_O
Author:  Maro-chan [ Sun Mar 30, 2008 2:44 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Things You've Learned From Pheonix Wright...*SPOILERS*
TheSteelSamurai wrote:
The Innocent wrote:
o_o; is this a serious thread? rofl XD cuz it sure doesnt seem like it.


It's a parody thread-the first post says so.^^;


I've learned birds are considered credible witnesses.O_O


<<;; So are radios.

Also, prosecutors can pull anything they want (cough Karmas cough) but defense attorneys get penalized over everything.
Author:  TheSteelSamurai [ Sun Mar 30, 2008 3:05 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Things You've Learned From Pheonix Wright...*SPOILERS*
Adrian Andrews taught me that...

You have the right to remain silent, but everything you said before that will then be misquoted and used against you.O_O
Author:  yoshi927 [ Sun Mar 30, 2008 3:16 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Things You've Learned From Pheonix Wright...*SPOILERS*
Two things stand out above all overs for me;

1. The police are always wrong

2. The initial evidence is always wrong

Now, on whether which one causes the other, I don't know.

A few others;

3. Out of five randomly selected witnesses, the number of witnesses who should probably be in a mental institution numbers a healthy five.

4. All the cool lawyers have trademark gestures.
:pft: :rock'n: :whip: :object:
Author:  Bossmuff [ Sun Mar 30, 2008 3:19 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Things You've Learned From Pheonix Wright...*SPOILERS*
Accusing someone of something, if it is true, generates enough force to physically injure the person, or even shatter their glasses. :glasses:

Striking the defense with a whip or a thrown coffee cup is considered an acceptable method of objection. :coffee:

Just accusing someone of murder is enough for the prosecution to convict them, unless the defense brings concrete evidence against the charge. :think:
Author:  tox_2_much [ Sun Mar 30, 2008 3:24 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Things You've Learned From Pheonix Wright...*SPOILERS*
I have (not) learned why they call Payne the rookie killer.
Author:  TheSteelSamurai [ Sun Mar 30, 2008 3:26 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Things You've Learned From Pheonix Wright...*SPOILERS*
-You are guilty until proven innocent.

-All courtrooms contain hammerspace, from which an infinite number of things such as hats, glasses, and coffee mugs can be pulled.

-"Rookie Killer" is coutroom-speak for someone who has never actually killed a rookie, but thinks he has. Kind of like how Godot is the "greatest prosecutor in the country", despite having never actually prosecuted a case prior to that and losing all of the cases that he DID posecute.>_>;
Author:  Lilith [ Sun Mar 30, 2008 3:29 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Things You've Learned From Pheonix Wright...*SPOILERS*
The prosecution can make the judge shut up, whip him, do his work, and he only gets angry when the defense does something wrong <.< MAN he doesn't even do anything when the defense is psycally hit!....The game wouldn't exist if he wasn't there, though <.<
Author:  MikeMeekins [ Sun Mar 30, 2008 3:30 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Things You've Learned From Pheonix Wright...*SPOILERS*
I've learned that Smoking is allowed in the courtroom.
Author:  TheSteelSamurai [ Sun Mar 30, 2008 3:35 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Things You've Learned From Pheonix Wright...*SPOILERS*
Looking scary to some people does NOT make you guilty.

Mean old Maya...>_<
Author:  Chinese Infantry [ Sun Mar 30, 2008 3:56 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Things You've Learned From Pheonix Wright...*SPOILERS*
I've learned the following:

- Being a defense attorney is a shitty job. The pay sucks, you get fucked up clients, everyone physically and verbally abuses you and the court is biased towards the prosecution.

- According to half the fandom, the defense is always gay for the prosecution. No exceptions.

- Judges are easily swayed.

- Spirit Mediums are real.
Author:  Panicakes [ Sun Mar 30, 2008 4:02 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Things You've Learned From Pheonix Wright...*SPOILERS*
Sea-bears and fairytales are real!
I've learned that an entire trial with decisive evidence incriminating the killer means absolutely nothing if there's no motive.
Author:  La Diable [ Sun Mar 30, 2008 4:33 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Things You've Learned From Pheonix Wright...*SPOILERS*
I've learned that cravats grant ultimate legal authority to whoever wears them. I believe the only counter to this authority is spiky hair.
Author:  Angelux [ Sun Mar 30, 2008 4:36 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Things You've Learned From Pheonix Wright...*SPOILERS*
I learned you object to the witness, and not to the other attorney
I learned to love cyanide
I learned to battle in a more pacific way that using swords (using coffee mugs)
I learned that prosecutors explode, lose their hair or recieve inferference when beated
Author:  TheSteelSamurai [ Sun Mar 30, 2008 4:37 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Things You've Learned From Pheonix Wright...*SPOILERS*
If the murderer wore a costume, the person who typically wears that costume is immediately accused of the crime, even though no one actually SAW that person doing anything.
Author:  Chinese Infantry [ Sun Mar 30, 2008 4:43 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Things You've Learned From Pheonix Wright...*SPOILERS*
Here's a couple.

- If the person lacks motivation for a crime, they are arrested because "they are the only person that could have done it." (I'm LOOKING AT YOU, AJ!)

- Lawyers love slamming things to make their point. Defense Attorneys and Prosecutors alike are guilty of this.
Author:  TheSteelSamurai [ Sun Mar 30, 2008 4:45 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Things You've Learned From Pheonix Wright...*SPOILERS*
Prosecutors always win, except for when they lose. But then they just don't count it.
Author:  Angelux [ Sun Mar 30, 2008 4:46 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Things You've Learned From Pheonix Wright...*SPOILERS*
If you fix a broken urn, suspictiously the first time is fixed is equal to the original, the second time is equal but bad spelled, then the third is equal to the first but with stains
Author:  Sister White [ Sun Mar 30, 2008 5:33 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Things You've Learned From Pheonix Wright...*SPOILERS*
What I've learned, huh...

1) Everyone in the future has such bad eye sight that no one can tell a fake paper badge from a real attorney's badge. :zenitora:

2) The world is really small. Some characters never disappear *cough*WendyOldbag*cough*. :wendy:

3) You can ask the witness to repeat his/her testimony for as many times as you want until you find the contradiction (or until you've been penalized enough times).

4) To err is the defense attorney, to penalize, the judge (and sometimes the prosecutor). :godot:

5) People are able to become professionals at extremely young ages. Celeste and Adrian are managers at age 23. Valerie was a police officer at age 23. Heck, Phoenix is a defense attorney at 24! They must all be extremely talented! (I assume people are usually finishing up university at these ages...and take awhile to get to manager =\)
Author:  TheSteelSamurai [ Sun Mar 30, 2008 6:31 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Things You've Learned From Pheonix Wright...*SPOILERS*
-In the future, almost all detective work will be done by lawyers with really spiky hairstyles, whips, masks, or fancy clothes. Blame it on the anime.

-If you annoy Edgeworth long enough, he'll give you gum.

-There are some things money can't buy, for everything else, there's Pheonix's credit card.
Author:  The Innocent [ Sun Mar 30, 2008 7:49 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Things You've Learned From Pheonix Wright...*SPOILERS*
Oh! I've also learned that when things break, they can magically come back!

and and and that Adrian have an unlimited supply of glasses! :glasses: :D!
Author:  TheSteelSamurai [ Sun Mar 30, 2008 9:01 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Things You've Learned From Pheonix Wright...*SPOILERS*
I've learned that lying to and in turn endangering an emotionally sensitive person and almost getting them wrongfully imprisoned all for the sake of victory automatically makes you best friends with said person.
Author:  Jushiro [ Sun Mar 30, 2008 12:53 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Things You've Learned From Pheonix Wright...*SPOILERS*
Okay...

That you're aloud to bring a whip to court and hurt people with it in court. :ka-whip: yes, you von karma.

That people wear shiny vizers instead of a bandaid when they're cut on the face. :godot: Yes, godot. Also you can drink 17 cups of cofee in 1-3 hours.

That you can have big big bazooka enhancement. :mia: ...
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