Re: I just imagined... what if Phoenix Wright were a MECH PILOT?
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Certainly a departure in tone from the previous chapters. You managed to convey very well the stress that Phoenix is under, and how he feels about the whole situation. I also liked how you write Grossberg. He frequently goes back and forth between jovial and somber, which makes him a very interesting character to read, and it fits him well.
...and yay lemongrass!
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Re: I just imagined... what if Phoenix Wright were a MECH PI
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Re: I just imagined... what if Phoenix Wright were a MECH PILOT?
Witty filler.
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Aside from that, very good.
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Re: I just imagined... what if Phoenix Wright were a MECH PILOT?
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Quote:
Apparently, he’d discovered reverse alchemy—the golden eagle pinned to his right breast had undoubtedly turned to solid lead.
I love that line; it's just so snarky in the way that Phoenix is, yet sad at the same time. And to echo Greg, your style of Grossberg is so close to canon and really...jarring isn't the word, but the way it's never quite clear what he's thinking or feeling really gives him some depth.
One thing that's really struck me about GyakuMECHA is how much focus each individual character gets. I mean, Phoenix gets the majority of course, but Redd, Grossberg, Larry and even the security guard get their own scenes. It's really refreshing, after so many fanfics where only the main three characters or the main two love interests get any detail at all <3
I only have one slight critique. In the lines
Quote:
For a second, it looked like Grossberg was almost glad to see him, but in the next instant the corners of his bushy gray moustache seemed to droop, and he suddenly appeared far heavier than he actually was.
and
Quote:
Despite his already-large bulk, Grossberg seemed to suddenly get heavier, his gaze dropping to the hard wood desk for the slightest of moments as he rested one hand on the other.
it seems slightly off-putting with the repetition of 'suddenly to get/appeared heavier'. Other than that, it's perfect. Even for just an excerpt (How long's the actual chapter gonna be, if this is an excerpt?
)~Zizzo
Re: I just imagined... what if Phoenix Wright were a MECH PI
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How long will the actual chapter be? Well, it depends on how much I put in it :P With Grossberg, I still have to do Phoenix's promotion/refusal, giving MIA. I -could- end it there (and then have the final scene introducing everybody's favorite childhood-friend-turned-enemy-pilot, and sort of introducing Flan as well... either way, this is the ending scene).
I might do that, just to keep the length down, but I've still got to do Phoenix trying to decide if he should accept the promotion, Maya helps him decide... I probably SHOULD do something with "hey Maya, your dead sister is now my AI, lol" too.
And then, of course, Phoenix finally taking command of the Turnabout.
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Re: I just imagined... what if Phoenix Wright were a MECH PI
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CantFaketheFunk wrote:
I probably SHOULD do something with "hey Maya, your dead sister is now my AI, lol" too
I laughed much too much at that line. Probably something to do with the fact I was already giggling at the thought of Franny as an FF9-style flan. OhgodohgodMYBRAIN, as it were.
And as for Worthy being introduced, how soon will it be until he hears of his favorite childhood-friends-turned-enemy-pilots? The thing that starts his whole 'Aren't the Fusegi evil? Are Phoenix and Larry evil? Am I on the right side?' debacle.
~Zizzo
Re: I just imagined... what if Phoenix Wright were a MECH PI
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Re: I just imagined... what if Phoenix Wright were a MECH PILOT?
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Like Zizzo said, the individual attention you give to all the characters, no matter how minor they are is incredible; little things from the description of Grossberg's uniform to his behaviour is just wonderful.
That said, Phoenix totally stole the show in this not-quite-chapter. His thoughts and emotions were portrayed absolutely amazingly; his guilt and confusion at being praised when he didn't think he did enough to help and lots of other little things that make it so much better and special than most other fics.
Yay~
Re: I just imagined... what if Phoenix Wright were a MECH PI
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Now I'm in love!
Please accept this fan art as a token of my appreciation. I noticed White was missing on the official page. I might try a Grossberg later.
Re: I just imagined... what if Phoenix Wright were a MECH PILOT?
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Not sure when I'll be able to get at my CG stuff again, but when I can, I do think I'll take a stab at some of the mecha. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I envision the Kurain being somewhat "bricklike" in design, maybe similar in design style to something like the Magellan class spacecraft from the Mobile Suit Gundam series. Basically a solidly built thing covered with guns, and probably housing some sort of linear launch catapault or at the least a large open hangar bay door.
Lookin' forward to more of the story!
"Violence is the last resort of the intelligent, and the first resort of the incompetant." -FFA
Re: I just imagined... what if Phoenix Wright were a MECH PI
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Re: I just imagined... what if Phoenix Wright were a MECH PI
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syke1083 - thanks! Glad you like it! Nice sprite edit :D that's more of a dress uniform than a flightsuit, but I don't doubt that it's the sort of color he'd go for (if military regulations allowed for it XD). Welcome to the thread. And of course, you're perfectly allowed to point out errors here. I'd appreciate it, in fact!
Firefury - Hey! Welcome to the thread. As for your suggestion... well, uh, I don't actually have any experience or know the first thing about 3D modeling, so I'd be useless with it. However, if you'd be interested and willing, I'd love to see what you can contribute! :D Welcome to the project!
Hm. It's a cool design, but I was actually thinking that'd suit the Turnabout more... just a bit sleeker. I think of the Kurain as sort of flat, maybe wedge-like. But that's a cool design nonetheless :D
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Re: I just imagined... what if Phoenix Wright were a MECH PI
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I wasn't sure how else I would make a flight suit flamboyant. As for the errors, I only found two in chapter one.
Quote:
Shaking his head—though the sudden flash of pain from his temples made him vow to not it again for the next hour or so
vow not to do that again is what think you meant.
And the second one might be an inconsistency with Mia's hat. Maya had it when she ran off for her training session but Mia has it later when she's talking with Souryuu in her office. Maybe Maya dropped it off or Mia has two. But it was missing for the rest of the story. That and military people don't wear hats in an office (one year of Jr. ROTC in high school). Maybe in the corridors or on the bridge.
Great work otherwise.
Re: I just imagined... what if Phoenix Wright were a MECH PI
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You know, the hell with Doga, I think I'll take a stab at it with Maya! (The 3-D modelling program, not the spirit medium!
)Don't suppose you've got any technical specs on the ships? Gun turrets, main weapons, that sort of thing?
"Violence is the last resort of the intelligent, and the first resort of the incompetant." -FFA
Re: I just imagined... what if Phoenix Wright were a MECH PI
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...yeah, I got nothing >.>
Firefury - Wow. I'd be pleased! As far as your other question goes, though... I honestly haven't given it a moment's thought XD. This is why it's a group project--and I'd be honored if you'd maybe lend us your thoughts, since you appear to know a lot more about mechaverses than I do XD
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Re: I just imagined... what if Phoenix Wright were a MECH PI
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EVERYONE KNOWS KAMINOGI STOLE THE HAT WHEN HE EXITED THE OFFICE, ROFFLEMAYO.
does anyone get that
Re: I just imagined... what if Phoenix Wright were a MECH PI
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Urby wrote:
Phhhh.
EVERYONE KNOWS KAMINOGI STOLE THE HAT WHEN HE EXITED THE OFFICE, ROFFLEMAYO.
does anyone get that
EVERYONE KNOWS KAMINOGI STOLE THE HAT WHEN HE EXITED THE OFFICE, ROFFLEMAYO.
does anyone get that
I do. XD
Re: I just imagined... what if Phoenix Wright were a MECH PI
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Urby wrote:
Phhhh.
EVERYONE KNOWS KAMINOGI STOLE THE HAT WHEN HE EXITED THE OFFICE, ROFFLEMAYO.
does anyone get that
EVERYONE KNOWS KAMINOGI STOLE THE HAT WHEN HE EXITED THE OFFICE, ROFFLEMAYO.
does anyone get that
I guess I find out in September.
I made a Grossberg in uniform but I'm not sure it looks quite right.
Lumby snowman.
Re: I just imagined... what if Phoenix Wright were a MECH PI
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CantFaketheFunk wrote:
Firefury - Wow. I'd be pleased! As far as your other question goes, though... I honestly haven't given it a moment's thought XD. This is why it's a group project--and I'd be honored if you'd maybe lend us your thoughts, since you appear to know a lot more about mechaverses than I do XD
Well, I am a die hard Gundam fanatic :D And my fictional nation on the Nationstates online game borrows a lot of spacecraft design and concepts from various games and shows.
So the Kurain is an older ship, probably with a wedge-shaped hull. I would guess then it was originally built as a cargo hauler and later refit for combat duty, since I would figure if it's an older model, it was built and refit before the alliance had the resources to produce dedicated warships. Probably lighter on guns since the hull wouldn't have been intended for combat. Mostly point defense weapons to try and deal with inbound missiles and fighters, and few capital grade weapons (if any) for use against other warships.
In comparison, the Turnabout is supposed to be one of the latest ships of the fleet if I understand things correctly. For dramatic purposes, I would propose it to be a great deal smaller than the Kurain, with a smaller mecha capacity but greater speed and mobility, as well as providing a much smaller profile to enemy weaponfire. The better for wiggling out of seemingly impossible situations, after all! Also, as a dedicated warship hull, it would have been built with ship-to-ship combat in mind and would be carrying capital grade cannons of some variety, perhaps a spinal-mounted energy cannon (or a kinetic cannon- high velocity scraps of debris are perhaps more devastating to enemy armor than laser or plasma weaponry.) It would probably have several large turrets down its flanks with overlapping firing arcs to provide good coverage to the sides and rear but also enabling an impressive forward barrage.
Hrm... not that I'll be reaching the point anytime soon, but has someone else already designed insignias for the major factions? Unless a ship is working undercover, I figure the major capital ships on both sides would have their respective emblems all over them.
"Violence is the last resort of the intelligent, and the first resort of the incompetant." -FFA
Last edited by Firefury Amahira on Thu Jul 12, 2007 1:40 am, edited 1 time in total.
Re: I just imagined... what if Phoenix Wright were a MECH PI
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Re: I just imagined... what if Phoenix Wright were a MECH PI
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Re: your thoughts for the Kurain and Turnabout... well, uh, this is why this is a project. I'd have NEVER come up with something like that. I really like it! Nice stuff there!
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Re: I just imagined... what if Phoenix Wright were a MECH PI
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CantFaketheFunk wrote:
Right, we don't have emblems for the factions yet. We probably should >.>
Well, you do now!
Saiban Federation flag:
Insignia (for use on ships/mecha):
Explanation:
The dark red field is cut by dark blue- representing the field of battle being split by the power of the Federation- represented here by the large white star in the upper right. (Near the top, coupled with traditional cultural bias for the right hand being superior.) The dimmer yellow-orange stars represent "member" worlds. Well, maybe 5 stars for the original member worlds of the Federation? The sunburst indirectly connects the smaller stars to the largest one, representing the pooling of member resources to create a more powerful whole.
Fusegi Alliance flag:
Insignia (for use on ships/mecha):
Explanation:
The blue field is unmarred except for the golden sunburst in the upper left representing the Alliance's homeworld. In other words, peace and order under the leadership of the Alliance. The white stripe across the bottom represents a solid foundation on which to build, while the red band represents the sacrifices of those killed in the fighting.
... Yeah right, I think everybody else here can see the REAL explanation for the Alliance flag design!
Hope these are usable!
EDIT: The flags should be the right size for use on Nationstates, too. Heh, old habit since I've done custom flags for my nations on that before!
"Violence is the last resort of the intelligent, and the first resort of the incompetant." -FFA
Last edited by Firefury Amahira on Sun Jul 15, 2007 12:56 am, edited 1 time in total.
Re: I just imagined... what if Phoenix Wright were a MECH PI
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Wow. Awesome. <3333
This weekend I'll get 1-5 done.
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Re: I just imagined... what if Phoenix Wright were a MECH PILOT?
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Re: I just imagined... what if Phoenix Wright were a MECH PILOT?
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Re: I just imagined... what if Phoenix Wright were a MECH PI
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Re: I just imagined... what if Phoenix Wright were a MECH PILOT?
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Dannichu wrote:
^ That's what I thought. How long did it take you to come up with those? They (and all the reasoning behind them) are just amazing.
It actually didn't take me all that long once I got the rough idea. Since the Saiban side describes itself as a federal entity, the idea of using stars to represent subserviant worlds like the stars on the US flag represent the States came pretty naturally. The color choices were basically that I wanted something darkish that didn't automatically look ominous, hence the dark red and dark blue.
For the Alliance side, it was a lot simpler. I had to work something that looks suspiciously similar to at attorney's badge into the upper left corner (since in the games, the defense lawyers wear their badge on their left collar), and it had to mostly be a lighter shade of blue.
Another plus... certain medals or rank pins (say... denoting the captain of a ship?) could be believably cast in the shape of that "sunburst" for wear on uniforms.
And for the record, I am a "her" ^_^ I've got some good mental images for some ship designs already, I just hope I can translate them into 3-D!
"Violence is the last resort of the intelligent, and the first resort of the incompetant." -FFA
Re: I just imagined... what if Phoenix Wright were a MECH PILOT?
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What program do you use to draw meacha/ship/things? Did you make your sig?
Re: I just imagined... what if Phoenix Wright were a MECH PILOT?
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Dannichu wrote:
Looking forward to it very much. :3
What program do you use to draw meacha/ship/things? Did you make your sig?
What program do you use to draw meacha/ship/things? Did you make your sig?
Well, my sig was done with a program called DoGA CGA System. It's more like playing with legos than true 3-D modeling.
The program I'm using right now to attempt the ships is Maya 7.0 Unlimited, which is practically industry-standard for a lot of professionals in cinema and video game animation. So far I'm still fleshing out the rough hull of the Kurain, so right now it's primarily a rounded blob. It'll likely take awhile- Maya has a lot more options and commands than DoGA and I'm trying to squeeze working on it into a schedule that's already rather packed.
I've also got design ideas for the Turnabout that should be fun, and some ideas for the Badger as well.
"Violence is the last resort of the intelligent, and the first resort of the incompetant." -FFA
Re: I just imagined... what if Phoenix Wright were a MECH PILOT?
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It's so awesome to have a renderer join the team! And having an actual picture (or should I say model?) of the Kurain would be wonderful, for drawing references especially.
The flags are great, also. The stars work especially well. I'm now trying to remember which planets are Fusegi and which are Alliance
~Zizzo
Re: I just imagined... what if Phoenix Wright were a MECH PILOT?
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However, I can already show you the blobby in-progress Kurain hull!
Spoiler:
"Violence is the last resort of the intelligent, and the first resort of the incompetant." -FFA
Re: I just imagined... what if Phoenix Wright were a MECH PI
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Re: I just imagined... what if Phoenix Wright were a MECH PILOT?
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Awesome work, guys. I'll make a more in-depth post when I get back from celebrations (today's a busy day).
Thank you for flying Phoenix Wright. We hope you have a nice day.
Re: I just imagined... what if Phoenix Wright were a MECH PI
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Awesome comic! You ppl gotta keep on it! <3
*bookmark*
Re: I just imagined... what if Phoenix Wright were a MECH PI
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While I'm currently working on writing something else secret, I should definitely have time to work on GM this weekend (now that there are no leaked Harry Potter books to read.)
Planning an interplanetary war is harder than it looks. >.<
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I have miscalculated the amount of alcohol needed to give me creative fuel but still leave me sober enough to write >.>
Anyway, I'm having problems with the two "infiltration" parts, both in Arc Three--rescuing Jake Marshall and then going in to kill Damon Gant.
I really can't figure out how to make that feasible but not make the Federation seem completely incompetent.
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Re: I just imagined... what if Phoenix Wright were a MECH PI
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Re: I just imagined... what if Phoenix Wright were a MECH PI
Witty filler.
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CantFaketheFunk wrote:
er.
I have miscalculated the amount of alcohol needed to give me creative fuel but still leave me sober enough to write >.>
Anyway, I'm having problems with the two "infiltration" parts, both in Arc Three--rescuing Jake Marshall and then going in to kill Damon Gant.
I really can't figure out how to make that feasible but not make the Federation seem completely incompetent.
I have miscalculated the amount of alcohol needed to give me creative fuel but still leave me sober enough to write >.>
Anyway, I'm having problems with the two "infiltration" parts, both in Arc Three--rescuing Jake Marshall and then going in to kill Damon Gant.
I really can't figure out how to make that feasible but not make the Federation seem completely incompetent.
Lesse, inside agent? Power outage? Engine goes down? EMP? Distraction (OH MY GOD THAT PLANET JUST BLEW UP)? Food poisoning? Hacker? Nukes?
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