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TASTE THE RAINBOW
By: IkkiNickiey1408
Edgeworth: *puts head in hands* I can't believe this is here again…
Larry: Hey, Nick?
Phoenix: Hm?
Larry: That author has "Nick" in their name, too. Could you be related?
Phoenix: Oh, god, I hope not.
Maya: …Normally, I'd be spouting how this might be a conspiracy, but I'm just not in the mood.
Phoenix: Maya isn't in the mood to make conspiracy theories. That just shows you how bad this is, folks.
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Chapter 4: the rockies
Maya: Does that mean this chapter takes place on a mountain?
Phoenix: Maybe…?
Edgeworth: I'd hope so. Maybe someone will fall off.
Larry: Geez, Edgey, you don't need to be so, so… so, um…
Edgeworth: Sadistic?
Larry: Y-Yeah! That's not healthy for you, man!
Phoenix: *muttering* You clearly missed the time he was nearly suicidal when reading these things…
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One of my favorite times of year, winter!
Everything is so soft looking, clean, pretty. The air is crisp, everything is frosted, and cuddling is a must.
Phoenix: Huh, I actually agree. Well, except for the last one, at least.
Maya: Yeah, the trees look really nice with snow on them. And building snowmen with Pearly is always fun!
Phoenix: Hey, I'm the one who does all the work! All you two do is stay inside and drink hot cocoa while watching me!
Maya: I'm watching out for your health! If I didn't make you go outside and make snowmen, you'd turn into one big couch potato, and you know it.
Phoenix: (Says the one who actually hogs the couch…)
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I don't know anyone who could hate the winter.
"I fucking hate the cold" miles began the bitching being the debby downer he is best at being
Phoenix: Well, we found someone who hates winter. Not that fic-me should be surprised.
Edgeworth: I've always wondered if our pasts are as they're supposed to be in this fic.
Phoenix: Who knows. I don't even think the author cares.
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"Miles I don't understand why, it's the best time of year! Hot cocoa, lights, Christmas, new years kiss" I said as I leand in for a kiss…
Phoenix: Once again, except for the last one, I agree. Am I actually kind of in-character?
Edgeworth: If you'd remembered correctly, this author has a "talent" of writing you slightly in-character, and then completely out-of-character a few sentences later.
Phoenix: Oh yeah…
Larry: Hey Nick, what do you mean except for the last one? That's the best part of the entire winter! Last year I kissed the adorable Janie on New Year's, and she still has my heart. I swear I won't give it to another!
Phoenix: Yes, just like after Cindy, and Kandice, and Bennifer, and-
Larry: Those girls were completely different! Man, you really don't know anything.
Phoenix & Edgeworth: …
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" No, its just an excuse. You waste money on people you feel obligated to buy shit for, for no reason. The electric companies love the fact that people feel the need to waste electricity, the ground is slick, hot cocoa prices are increased, and my weiner is always smaller than normal because my suit is too thin for the fucking wind chill!"
All: …
Larry: Ew, Edgey! TMI, I don't want to know that! And there's a lady here, you don't talk like that in front of one!
Edgeworth: …Larry, since when have I ever talked like that?
Larry: Well, you're always complaining! It's not too hard to imagine that you're just coming up with more things to complain about just for the sake of it.
Edgeworth: *Boom* Nngh…! My truth bar!
Phoenix: …Let's just pretend that we didn't read that, OK?
Maya: G-Good idea, Nick…
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Of course he rejected my kiss and continued to be the fucking Grinch before Christmas….
" Miles, little wennies are nothing to be ashamed of! Phoenix isn't embarrassed of his, Right Wright?" Larry said with his typical over excited annoying voice of his…
Phoenix: …
Maya: Nick, I don't think the fic is going to
let us pretend that we didn't read that.
Phoenix: Yes, I realize that now, Maya.
Larry: W-Wait a minute! Why do I know
that? And why am I being so formal with Nick all of a sudden?
Edgeworth: It'd be better not to think too hard on that, Larry.
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Why do I hang out with larry?
Phoenix: Good question.
Larry: H-Hey!!
Phoenix: It was a joke, Larry.
Larry: Yeah, suuure, just blame on a joke like always. I'm not falling for that!
Phoenix: (You do the same thing all the time!)
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" Larry… my dick isn't small…. And even IF it was…WHY WOULD YOU KNOW?" I couldn't be more frustrated with him, who does he think he is talking about my penis like its his property
" And thee yelling begins" Miles begin the attitude and eye roll.
Phoenix: Oh, great. Now Edgeworth is speaking in Bible times, for some reason.
Edgeworth: Not that any of this belongs in a bible. Ever.
Maya: Unless it was a bible on how
not to write fan-fics. But, yeah, I agree.
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He acts like it is my fault that I yell at Larry. Its not! Larry is a dumb ass and needs his mouth closed with a muzzle sometimes.
Larry: Nick, you dog! I'm not dumb! I graduated middle school, y'know!
Phoenix: …If I was anyone else, I would tell you how that just proves my point.
Larry: N-Nick…!
Phoenix: That's why I said if I was anyone else!
Edgeworth: Still, Wright, you didn't exactly help with your blatant implications.
Phoenix: B-But…
Maya: Yeah, Nick. You're such a meanie.
Larry: You're the worst friend ever.
Phoenix: … (What is this? "Gain up on Phoenix" day?)
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" All im saying is, love eachothr for the motion in the ocean, not the bees between the knees.
Maya: What is the first part of that supposed to mean?
Phoenix: I don't want to know.
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Miles you shouldn't be a though, you and Phoenix are taking your trip tomorroe which will be relaxing and romantic!"
" Ye and its going to just be you and I (I grab Miles's hand) I also have a surprise for you"
Phoenix: Yeah, like Edgeworth
loves surprises. And who says "ye?"
Speakers:
I use "ye" all the time. Especially on the internet. It's a fun word, really.Maya: Hey, I use it on the internet, too! You should really get with the times, Nick!
Phoenix: Ehh… Well, it seems that fic-me is up to date with "the times." Heheh…
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" yes so fun, being stuck in a cabin surrounded by snow…Lets just finish packing and going ovr the house rules with Larry so we can get a good nights rest please. I want to just get this get away over with" miles expressed his hatred even more..
No surprise there though, Yea I wish he would be more open to the snow, but I think after he sees where we are staying and the adventure I have planned, he will lighten up! He is so focused on work, and after the new year he has to travel to England for shit, I just want to make sure he knows how much I love him and spend as much one on one time as I can.
The rest of the night We both packed and went over and over and over the rules with Larry. I wish he would pay the fuck attention so the house care part would have been 2 minutes not 42 fucking wasted minutes.
Edgeworth: F-Forty-two minutes? No wonder Maya gave Larry some ADHD medication in the last chapter. Although, that is heavily exaggerated of how ADHD actually is…
Phoenix: You still remember that?
Edgeworth: It's coming back to me, regrettably.
Larry: Huh, yeah. That is ringing a bell. But that fic was terrible!
Edgeworth: …It took you that long to figure out that we were reading the continuation!?
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Im still sure he is going to mess up, that's why I secretly have Maya scheduled an hour after larry is here to make sure the apprtment is in tip top shape.
Phoenix: (Like Maya's going to do that much of a better job…)
Maya: *frowns* I see that look on your face, Nick. Rude.
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1:27 am…
" Phoenix…are you awake" miles whispers
(Snoring)
"PHOENIX ARE YOU AWAKE!?"
I nearly jumped 10 feet out of bed
Edgeworth: What great use of hyperbole! *slow claps* Bravo.
Maya: …Um, are you feeling OK, Mr. Edgeworth?
Edgeworth: *sighs* Look where we are. What do you think?
Maya: But I thought you maybe started liking this place!
Edgeworth: I never liked this place, I just stopped caring.
Speakers:
In that case, this sporking theatre will stay open until you all actually enjoy coming here!Phoenix: Well, then. We're doomed.
Speakers:
That's the plan.Quote:
" GEEZ WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING?!" my heart now racing has fast as a cat jumping out of the wet
" Can we reschedule this trip until about may? And maybe make it In wine country?" miles twiddled his thumbes as he looked down at the bed
" This is why you woke me up? To puss out of our trip I have been planning since august for us? You sir have some god damn nerves" I adore my sleep. Wy wold he think its ok to wake me from my fucking slumbeer
Phoenix: That's what fic-me is mad about? Getting woken up from his "slumbeer?" Not that, y'know, he wants to cancel our trip?
Larry: And, Edgey, dude… Why would you want to go to the wine country? That stuff's boring! It's all like, "Now place the glass below your nose and inhale… Like
so. If you pay close attention you'll notice that the wine is very accessible. With notes of raspberry… And all just the faintest hint of cardamom." What a bore!
All: …
Larry: W-What? Why are you all so quiet?
Phoenix: Um, Larry. That all seemed very… specific. Have you ever been to one of those before?
Larry: …I knocked over a whole shelf of wine. I don't want to talk about it.
Edgeworth and Phoenix: (Figures…)
[After Edgeworth attempts to sell his tickets to someone else, Phoenix reminisces about Edgeworth flying on a plane and worrying if he ever was going to come back.]Quote:
I lost him once and I wasn't about to have my heart broken again. No one needs to relive the court room incident….
(FLASH BACK)
"OK well umm….ummm. are we all ready to start?" Judge asked
"Yes judge, I am." Miles replied calmly
God every word they said sounded like they were yelling in my ear.
"Umm yeah sir, we need this show to roll on and stuff." It was hard to talk
Edgeworth: These are some of the most unprofessional courtroom proceedings I've ever seen. "Yes judge?"
Maya: Would you like me to fix it? I'm sure I can do a much better job!
Phoenix: Yes, I'm sure you can, Maya.
Maya: OK! *ahem* "Court is now in session for the trial of, um, Dee Fendant! Is the defen-"
Phoenix: Wait a minute! Dee Fendant? Couldn't you come up with something more, y'know, original?
Maya: But, puns, Nick! Puns! Don't tell me you've never noticed them before?
Phoenix: Of course I have! It's just that that poor person is doomed to be a defendant…
Edgeworth: I wonder what that makes Deid Mann, then…
Speakers:
The management would like to remind Maya Fey, Phoenix Wright, and Miles Edgeworth that breaking the fourth wall is strictly prohibited.Larry: Man, what are you talking about? All the walls are up!
All except Larry: … *sigh*
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As Miles presented his case, all I could think was…
"YOU'RE AN ASS HOLE, ASS HOLE, DICK HEAD, WHORE, ASS HOLE, HEART BREAKER, WHORE, ASSHOLE!"I began to yell
"WHY! WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU DO THAT TO ME MIIILES HUH?" I couldn't control my emotions
I cut him off and everyone was silenced
"Mr. Wright! Well I never-" The judge snapped
Edgeworth: Yes, most definitely the most unprofessional court proceedings ever. No wonder no one wants to re-live that incident.
Phoenix: I feel bad for fic-Judge. I'm pretty sure the only time I've ever seen him "snap" was at Moe…
Larry: Yeah, no swearing in front of the old man. You gotta be polite, Nick.
Phoenix: I've never sworn at him, believe me.
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Our flight wasn't that long, felt like it went by really quick, and it was very smooth, no turbulence, thank god! Once we got off the plane and went down to grab our luggage it only took Miles about 3 mminutes to began complaining.
Who is driving? Phoenix cant drive! Do you have to fork out more money for a Taxi? Taxi's are dirty! We all know Phoenix doesn't have the money for a fucking urber! Its cold! My dick is small! Blah blah blah
Edgeworth: Oh, give me a break! I don't complain this much!
Phoenix: Yeah, this is actually going a tad overboard… And also, taxis aren't dirty.
Maya: You're only defending them because they're your only source of transportation when you can't ride your bike or walk.
Phoenix: So? They're still rather clean.
Larry: I can always pick you up if you need it, Nick!
Phoenix: Yeah, um, thanks…
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I just ignored him as we waked out of the airport, as we stood out on the curb he just kept bitching about the snow, its cold, someone is going to fall, why are we waiting? Why wasn't there a taxi? Who is the big shot who is getting picked up in a limo? Wht a show off
Little did he realize that the limo was for us!
" I am lookin for a MR. Wright…" the limo drive said looking us over
Edgeworth: So if Wright was too cheap to afford uber, he can somehow afford a limo?
Maya: Cool! Nick, why don't you hire a limo for us?
Phoenix: What? Why would I do that? They aren't cheap! Also, hiring a limo for a winter vacation is very tacky.
Maya: Phooey. You're just saying they're tacky as an excuse…
Phoenix: No, just for everyday use and dumb vacations.
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I looked over at Miles and he just shur up as quick as he could. I greeted the limo driver and he opened the door for us and took care of our luggage. Miles sat inside the limo and just could cloe his jaw, He was in too much shock. Trust me This was hard to pay for but it was worth it
" Is this the surprise? A limo ride?" could miles have said that with anny more disappointment
Phoenix: What, isn't this better than the "dirty" taxi?
Edgeworth: Honestly, don't even pay attention to fic-me. He's aggravating me more than usual today…
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" It is part of the surpisse, also we have the limo for the whole trip! Champagne?" I was trying to keep a smile on my fce
Miles and I shared the champagne as we drove up into the mountains to our cabin, The drive was so beautiful. The trees were all white, there were twinkeling lights one ever building we passed, it was a small town but had everything needed. As we kept passing all the small cabins, I could tell Miles was a little bit confused. Where were we going? The Cabins are getting bigger which means more expensive? How was all this being paid for? As we approached our stop, Miles was wide eye…
"Your destination MR. Wright" the limo driver said while pulling around the driveway
Phoenix: Why is the limo driver always pronouncing "Mr." like that?
Edgeworth: Does it really matter? For once, I'm sharing an opinion with my horrible counterpart in this story. How
is all this getting payed for?
Phoenix: Um, fic-me suddenly became rich?
Larry: Really? Dude, I need money all the time! C'mon, Nick, why don't you help a buddy out?
Phoenix: Did you miss the memo when I said
fic-me is rich? I'm not actually rich.
Larry: You've gotta have more money than me! I mean, you're a lawyer! I'm just a crummy-
Maya: Don't worry, Larry. We could always rob a bank like in the fic where Nick had lung cancer!
Phoenix: Don't expect me to defend you.
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We got out and grabbed our luggage. Our cabin looked like something out of a magazine, big, beautiful, pool, hot tub, Fireplace, open bar, perfect view of the mountains. Couldn't have asked for a better place to be residing in.
We settled into the master bedroom which was covered in rose petals and had wine and candels waiting for us. The master bath was huge, about the size of my apartment alone. As Miles looked around the Cabin, I drew us a bath, added some rose petals in, poured the wine and undressed and jumped into the robe.
Phoenix: Yeah, this is
definitely tacky. And did I just pour the wine into the bathtub?
Edgeworth: I hope not. That is rather unsanitary, not to mention a waste of the wine.
Larry: But Nick, I think they meant that you poured the wine into glasses, since there were wine and candles waiting for you…
Phoenix: It doesn't matter what they meant, Larry, but what they
say. And they just said that fic-me poured wine into the bathtub.
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" Oh Miles…Your bath awaits you" How can he resist me, im pretty seductive
" How is this happening? How are you paying this? Are you gay for pay?"
Edgeworth: Um, well, that's one conclusion as to how Wright has the money to pay for this…
Phoenix: NO! Don't even think of that! That's not funny, author! I like my I-suddenly-got-rich idea better!
Maya: Even if you suddenly got rich by robbing a bank?
Phoenix: Yes! Or, um, probably…
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" NO I AM NOT GAY FOR PAY" can miles just shut his face whoel for one minute and just enjoy the good life
" But you are gay….and now yelling more…" there it is. He is being cocky again
" I AM NOT YEL…Oh wait…OK so I did yell.. Doesn't make me gay for yelling Miles" I rolled my eyes
" Sucking my Dick makes you gay though" He says with a cocky smile…
"Yeah..Your little dick was it?" I giggled
At the moment I got the look of death….
" uhhhhh… I mean you have a preety penis…Miles? Miles? Our bath is ready…"
"….Fuck…You" He glaed
Edgeworth: Yes, fic-you really is as "seductive" as he claimed earlier. Right, Wright?
Phoenix: Hahaha. Very funny, Edgeworth. Fic-me is full of himself if he thinks he's seductive.
Larry: I don't want to read this anymore… All this talk of, um…
Maya: Yaoi?
Larry: Yeah, I don't really like it. Especially if it's this bad.
Phoenix: *pats Larry on the shoulder* Don't worry, we all feel the same way.
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After begging and pleading my case to miles about how much I love his not so little dick, he eventually got into the steamy tub with me. As I laid back into his chest, looking out the window in out bathroom, the sky was so clear and full of stars, all I could think about was how much I loved Miles and this weekend had to be perfect. We sipped our wine, massaged eachother in the tub, talked about work, talked about memories, and our future. I wanted to stop time, wanted to stay in this moment longer.
Maya: So, is the author trying to make this "romantic," now?
Phoenix: It's not very romantic if you picture that the two of us are sipping from the wine-filled tub that we are sitting in…
Larry: Eww! Did you have to remind us of that?
Speakers:
Yes, because that's the rule of sporking. One grat point for you, Phoenix.Phoenix: Grat…? Oh! We're still doing those?
Speakers:
Not really, but I just feel like congratulating you.Phoenix: Oh. Thanks…
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1:07 am…
" Oh god Miles we have to go to bed, I have the day planned out for us tomorrow"
" Why is it we can never do anything without you have a set plan about what we are doing?"
Maya: Huh, I always thought Mr. Edgeworth was a J and Nick was a P…
Phoenix and Larry: Um, what?
Edgeworth: I believe she's talking about the Meyers-Briggs personality types.
Maya: Uh-huh! The J kinda means that they like following through set plans while the P sorta means that they're a bit more… spontaneous!
Phoenix: Oh. Then, yeah, Edgeworth would definitely be a J. Or at least the real Edgeworth, I'm not too sure about fic-him.
Larry: So… the author got you two switched?
Edgeworth: No. The author has never been consistent with their characterization to begin with.
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" Miles you know that is ot true, If anything you are the one who overly plans everything…."
Edgeworth: See what I mean? Even the author admits it.
Phoenix: Oh, no! Now fic-me is becoming aware! Soon he's going to figure out that he's a really bad fictional version of me and be confused about his life!
Edgeworth: No, because that'd be interesting.
Phoenix: Oh yeah, you're right. It's too good to be true, then…
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Always has to argure with me doesn't he? Like a typical women
We didn't get anywhere with that argument, both being lawyers and all, we had enough evience to prove we are both typical gays who like to go above and beyond with pointless shit. And yes this trip I have over planned but ita all for a reason, and if everything isn't perfect, then its not worth it all.
All: …
Edgeworth: This fic wasn't worth the amount of time the author spent on it.
All else: Agreed.
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9:12 am….
" Good morning Mr. Edgeworth, I hope you like breakfast in bed"
I leaned in and gave him a kiss as he was waking from his slumber
Miles slowly was waking up, looked at me, looked outside, looked at his breakfast…but no real reaction…I was really confused. I brought mimosas, French toast with fresh barriers, bacon, and eggs sunny side up.
Phoenix: That actually sounds pretty good. I wouldn't mind a breakfast like that. Except that I'd prefer berries over "barriers" on my French toast.
Maya: *pokes Phoenix* Nick…?
Phoenix: No. Don't even dream of it, Maya. And don't give me those eyes, either.
Maya: But I want breakfast in bed!
Phoenix: Nope.
Larry: I'd make you breakfast in bed anytime you want, Maya!
Maya: See? Larry's nice, unlike you.
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" How did you sleep?"
(No response)
" Is everything ok? Do you not like your breakfast?" I continues
Im getting nervous waiting for him to say something other than just staring at the food with a blank stare…I cant start the day off like this…this is according to plan…
" Miles…I don't know what is going on in that head of yours…you need to talk to me if something is wrong…" well now this is worrying me, this isn't according to plan
" Phoenix…This is nice…"
What the fuck does that mean? Nice? That's what I get is nice!
"That's it? Nice?" I couldn't be more confused
" Wright, its more than nice, this is amazing..look outside..Fresh powder, look where we are staying…breakfast in bed, but most importantly look who I am with…a wonderful man who thought of all of this for me. I just am speechless…that and I just woke the fuck up and it taks me awhile to come together" he sounded super groggy
Edgeworth: So now fic-me is trying to be sentimental? He's not doing a great job at it…
Maya: Don't be so hard on fic-you, Mr. Edgeworth! He's not doing the
worst job, either…
Edgeworth: I suppose not, but that last sentence entirely ruined the moment. As did the sentence where he referred to the snow outside as "white powder." For a second I thought he was talking about the powdered sugar on his French toast.
Phoenix: Um, I actually agree with Maya. Let's just agree that this part wasn't so bad and move on. We still have half of the chapter to get through.
[Phoenix narrates that he plans to take Edgeworth exploring and up to a mountain lodge for the day.]Quote:
MEAN WHIE BACK AT THE HOUSE
" Man watching the house is so cool! Its awesome that they trust me so much, but I don't think they though this through too much, wha is someone decided to break in at night? Or while im not here to watch the place? No one thinks of that now a days, too much trust, so im gonna do them a favore and stay alllllll dya and night to make sure nothing happens. And at my house I have Dick watching it…I hope he is staying there all day too…what if he isn't…what if I go home and he isn't there? What if someone breaks in at my place? I NEED TO GO CHECK ON MY HOUSE!" Larry ran out as he yelled about his house
Edgeworth: Well, Larry sure gave up on his plan rather quickly.
Phoenix: And since when were he and Detective Gumshoe such close friends that he'd have him check up on his house?
Edgeworth: Also, Larry seems to think that robbers just run amok and attempt to break into every home they can find…
Larry: Hey, I know that's not true! Fic-me is an idiot! I know that house-sitting just means that you keep it clean and water the plants! …I think so?
Phoenix: Yes, that is exactly what it means. Not that you have to move in. (When an author makes even Larry sound unbelievable, you know they've messed up badly…)
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As Larry runs home, maya comes in and check on the house.
" Ok Peark, I don't think youre supposed to be here with me so please don't touch anything and just sit on the couch and do..nothing… do you understand?" Maya explains while trying ot sound mature
" If I cant do anything then why did you bring me? I don't want to just sit here, that's boring" pearl sounded annoyed
Phoenix: Hey, Pearls has a point. I wouldn't get mad that she went in the house, by the way. But even if I did, you could've just let her play around in the backyard or something…
Edgeworth: If the town is anything like Larry imagines, then there are probably kidnappers hiding in every corner as well.
Maya: But there actually aren't! So, fic-me is just being mean to Pearly for no reason…
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" BECAUSE AFTER WE ARE GOING TO THE PARK" Maya yells
As myay goes throught the house, room by room pearl bounces her ball in the living room trying to keep her little self entertained.
*CRASH*
" PEARL! What did I tell you? I asked you to sit and do nothing!" maya was screming
" I was just bouncing the ball and Picture frame fell off the wall" pearl just sat and looked at the floor knowing she was in troule
" That's not how it happened! There is a dirt mark on th wall right here!" Maya aways has to know better
Phoenix: What? How did that happen?
Edgeworth: I suppose the narration was supposed to be unreliable. For some reason.
Phoenix: OK, but still. Did she chuck dirt at the wall? Use her shoes to make prints on the wall?
Maya: Pearly would never do that!
Larry: Uhh, so, what actually happened, then?
Edgeworth: …Are you three really that intrigued by this clumsy attempt at mystery?
Phoenix: Um, well…
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As maya swong her arm to point to the wall she knocked over a book…that hit a vase and broke that too.
" Oh MY GOD! Pearl we need to clean this up and quicj!" maya just making the situation worse
" What am I supposd to do? My mom doesn't let me near broken glass"
" you are so useless…" Maya rolls her eyes
Maya: H-Hey! I would never call Pearly that! Ayam is such a brat!
Phoenix: And Maya's not
that clumsy…
Maya: Yeah! …Hey!
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Maya began to searn the house for a brrom and dust pan.
" GOT THE BROOM" She yells from the other room
As maya came out of the kitchen running, the end of the room hit a shel and it came off the wall, breaking everything on it and leaving a hole in the wall. Maya screamed and tried to fix the shelf but as she did, she cut herself on a piece of boken glass on the floor.
Phoenix: Oh, c'mon this is just ridiculous. This seems like the kind of thing that would happen in a gag comedy.
Larry: At least this time it's not
my fault, right? Usually these… fics, always make me do this kind of stuff. Right?
Maya: So, it's better that fic-me made this mess?
Larry: No, don't be silly, Maya! It's just, um…
Edgeworth: A nice change of pace?
Larry: No, dude! Well, maybe…
Quote:
" And this is why I am not allowed to clean up broken glass"
(Maya glared at her)
"But ummm are you ook?" Pearl was feeling awkaward
" Pearl we hve to get out of here, Ill tell phoenic later but I need to go get this looked at, what if I get an infection?" Maya is such a hypocrodiract
Larry: Hippo-what? Is that that thing you learn in science class? Where it repels water or something?
Edgeworth: No, you're thinking of hydrophobic. I'm pretty sure they mean a hypocrite. Although, that is a… creative spelling error.
Phoenix: And I don't think the author knows what a hypocrite really means. Fic-Maya didn't exactly do anything hypocritical…
Maya: *sniff* I don't think the author likes me…
Phoenix: …I don't think you
want the author to like you. Look what happened to Edgeworth.
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7:38 pm…
" Ok ok so I went ot my house and fell asleep, but everything should be fine here, it has only been a few house right? And we live in a realative nice place, so things should be ok." Larry prances up t the house
Larry opens the door and walks straight to the kitchen, disregareding all the the mess on the floor and begins to cook pizza rolls in the microwave. After they are finished, he again walks over all the broken glass and blood on the floor and sits on the couch and begans to eat.
"Its so tyrpical of them to have pizza rolls, I wonder if it's a gay thing? I mean tossed salad is a thing gays like, so maybe it's the same thing as pizza rolls…
Phoenix: …What? What is this even supposed to mean? Can't people just like salad and pizza rolls anymore? Where do you get this stuff?
Larry: I don't know, man! This isn't me!
Edgeworth: This is actually rather… rudely stereotypical. And not something I think Larry would do, in any case.
Larry: Th-Thanks for sticking up for me, Edgey…
Quote:
..something is different in the house…now that im thinking about it…something is off….OH MY GOD SOMEONE BROKE IN! What do I do? What do I do? Who do I call? Who am I gonna call?
Phoenix and Maya: Ghostbusters!
Quote:
Ghostbusters?
All: …
Phoenix: …I- I feel so ashamed…
Maya: Me too…
Edgeworth: *sigh*
Quote:
Do they work with this kids stuff? Im gonna call dick and ask if ghostbusters will help"
Phoenix: Seriously? The Ghostbusters are for
ghosts, Larry.
Larry: I know that! Gee Nick, how dumb do you think I am?
Maya: *puts hand on her face, thinking* But y'know, I
am a spirit medium, after all. Maybe we actually could blame it on a ghost?
Phoenix: Good luck with that, Maya.
[Gumshoe berates Larry for being an idiot and tells him to touch the blood to make sure it isn't goo.]All: …
Edgeworth: There's only so much irony you can fit into one sentence…
Quote:
BACK AT THE LODGE
" Phoenix you have really outdone yourself this weekend, Everything has been beyond wonderful, and you have spoiled me so much. Walking through the town with you, and I love my new watch you bought me, its stunning, I am so lucky" miles gazes in my eyes, so much love
The waiter comes by and pours some more wine, we have a beautiful table near the big window looking out to the mountains, and suddenly the sno begins to fall, Miles is in awe with how magical this night seems.
Phoenix: Well, Edgeworth sure changed his mind about this trip quickly.
Edgeworth: Yes, a little
too quickly. It almost seems like the author was trying to make me into a tsundere and forgot halfway through writing.
Phoenix: There you go again, throwing in these weird Japanese words that I don't understand.
Larry: Yeah, speak English, Edgey!
Quote:
We enjoy an amazing lobster dinner, and gushed all trough dinner. I love this man, even with all that shit that has happened between us in the past, being a dick in court, always knowing more than me, acting like he is better than me, showing off his fancy car to me, leaving me, teasing me and then leaving me again, BUT that is what makes all this stronger to me, we made it though all that shit, and now we are here…this perfect lodge…with all these feelings…Its time…Once again the waiter comes by to offer the last glasses of wine
Phoenix: Um, I'm afraid to ask, but time for what?
Edgeworth: A marriage proposal.
All else: …
Maya: N-Nick, are you
sure you want to get married to a tsundere?
Phoenix: Not you too, Maya!
Edgeworth: No, Maya, a
failed tsundere. Let's be more precise.
Phoenix: I'm so lost…
Quote:
" Ill take a little, but you can top off his glass with the last bit of wine" I suggested miles have more wine
" Are you trying to get me drunk againg ? we don't need to relive the last time that happened." Miles giggled
Edgeworth: I do not
giggle.
Phoenix: Yeah, remember the first chapter of this? Fic-you was looking at his nails and got a br-
Edgeworth: I thought you forgot the earlier parts of this!?
Phoenix: Um, well, it's kind of hard to forget something I needed therapy for…
[Edgeworth gets up to use the bathroom and is marveling at how "awesome" the faucets are.]Edgeworth: …Is fic-me sure he's not drunk already?
Maya: I dunno. It's not the strangest thing to be excited about…
Phoenix: Yes it is, Maya.
Quote:
" Come Come sit please, its about to happen" I rushed
" What? Whats happening?" I could tell he was confused
As miles sits, I tell him to look out the window and with the beautiful falling snow, There is clear sky still here the snow clouds havnt reached yet and there it was…the sky full of shooting stars. They were having a metor shower tonight and we had the perfect view, to end the perfect day. Oh wait the wine…Miles picks up his glass to sip some wine, I look at him and watch close…
*Clink*
Miles brings the glasss down from his lips and looks in his glass…
" Phoenix…what…?" He looked at his glass and looked up at me
I get out of my chair and on my knee
Phoenix: Ugggh. I really wish you weren't right…
Edgeworth: Believe me, I've never been more disappointed in being right.
Larry: Yeah, but the two of you in the fic are really, um, weird! It's a perfect match, dontcha think?
Phoenix: Um…
Quote:
" Miles Edgeworth, we have been to hell and back, we have had our rival period, you abonded me, you took advantage of my love, but it onlt made me love you more, call me stupid I don't care, but in the end, I won. I won because in all that, here you are, and you always have been and I knew in the end you would be mine, you came back into mylife after leaving me, and you came to me after my meltdown, and you havnt left again. You have made me a better lawyer with all your cockiness in the courts, made me a stronger person with the emotional rollercoaters you put me on, and a better lover, and that's why in this magical moment….I ask…Miles…Will you marry me? Marry me and make me the happiest man ever? Marry me and deal with all my useless yelling? And put up with all of Larry's bullshit with me? Because lord knows Im gonna kill him one day and I need a good laywer by my side" I began while trying not to cry
Larry: N-Nick! What? I should be the one crying! To think you want to… to…
Phoenix: Larry, this is
fic-me, OK? I wouldn't hurt you.
Edgeworth: And Wright, you are aware that I am a prosecutor, correct? I can't exactly defend you.
Phoenix: Don't tell me I need to give you the same speech, too!
Quote:
" Phoenix Wright…I didn't think you had it in you…but yes, I will marry you, and I am the one who is the luckiest…you did all this for me, after all I have done to you, and I don't deserve you, but yes"
Everyone around began to clap like that corny shit in romance movies, and the waiter brought us some cheesecake to help with our celebration, but the true celebration will happen when we get back to our cabin, alone, together…if you know what I mean
Phoenix: TMI, fic-me.
Maya: This entire story sounds like one of those fake tumblr posts. Y'know, where everyone in the train claps?
Edgeworth: Yes, but this one dragged on for far too long.
Quote:
BACK AT THE HOUSE
12:09 am…
" Larry I don't know what youre going to tell Wright and Edgeworth…You seriously messed up and they are coming home today. You have ruined the perfect weekend for them, what did they say when you called and told them there was a break in? ecause you called them right? And at least gave them a heads up to what they were coming home to?" Dick continued to rip on him
"OF COURSE I DID….nt…no I havnt called them…THEY TRUSTED ME AND I MESSED UP…again…FUCK DICK SHIT"
Edgeworth: A comma is needed in the last part of this sentence. Or else it just sounds very… odd.
Larry: Hm? How?
Maya: Um, we'll tell you when you're older, Larry.
Quote:
MEANWHILE AT THE HOSPITAL
" Miss Maya, your hand seems to be ok…it stopped bleeding an hour ago while you were in the waiting room, but here is a bandaid…and a sticker for the little pearl" The dr talked to maya
Maya: I went all the way to the hospital for just a band-aid? Lame.
Phoenix: Talk about a bill for nothing…
Larry: But if it really was infected, Maya would've been in great danger! It's OK, don't worry. Nick will pay your bill for you!
Phoenix: (Not a chance.)
Quote:
" Thanks DR. blood just freaks me out…ok pearl so when Phoenix gets home tomorrow…today or what ever, I have to tell them what happened, I cant let Larry go down for this…they barely trusted him as it was! I mean crazy enough they trusted me more than him, and that never happens!"
10:52 am…
" Phoenix…what is going on in our home?" Miles said with concern
After a spectacular night, and a quick flight home, we walk to our door with caution tape in my door way, and my door cracked open. I see flashing from the living room as if there is a crime secen in my home…fucking shit…what happens when I leave to dick heads in charge! I would have had better luck with VonDitzTiz then the two I left in charge.
Phoenix: …Who? Von… DitzTiz? Wait, I don't mean… Franziska?
Maya: That's a very creative nickname…
Edgeworth: Don't ever let her hear you call her that.
Phoenix: Like I ever would, anyway! It doesn't even make any sense! Where did fic-me get that?
Edgeworth: *smirks* Well, it seems that you two have something in common after all. You both say things that don't make any sense.
Phoenix: That's rich, Edgeworth.
Quote:
WHAT IF ITS MAYA AND LARRYS BODY IN THERE? What if they caught eachother in the house and started a fight? As We walk in, taking down the caution tape, I see larry giving a statement and dick taking pictures while another cop Is taking glass samples with blood on it…
" Larry what the fuck! I leave you in charge and my house becomes a crime scence! What did you do?" What the fuck happened n my house
" Wow not even gonna ask if im ok? What if that was my blood? What if I was hurt?" Larry tryied to distract us from the real issue at hand
" Well are you? Is that your blood?" Miles was trying to be curtious
"Pause…Did you eat my Pizza rolls?" Here is the real problem at hand
Phoenix: Wait, did I actually say the word "pause?"
Maya: It's in quotes, so…
Phoenix: Actually, is that even me who said that line?
Edgeworth: I-I'm not sure…
Phoenix: In any case, why is whoever said that more concerned about pizza rolls than a potentially dead body?
Edgeworth: The author is trying to make it funny.
Larry: But it's not funny.
All else: Agreed.
Quote:
" No but it would have been nice to have been asked…look I messed up and I was hoping this would all be cleaned up before you got home, but omeone broke in and someone got urt, but we cant find any blood trail…and WHY do you assume I ate your rolls? I don't even like pizza rolls right! Shame on you" Larry said making it obvious he ate my fucking food….
" is maya ok? Was she hurt?" Miles began to question
" I don't know why? Wh wold you ask that?"
I hesitated to answer and quickly grabbed my phone from my pocket and called maya.
" Phoenix, heeeeeeey…umm are you home? How was your weekend? Is larry o?" Mya was trying to act cute
" God doog youre ok!
Maya: Nick, I'm not a dog!
Phoenix: But I never said you were one. Look carefully, I said that you were a "doog."
Larry: What's a doog?
Phoenix: Uh, something that doesn't exist?
Maya: That's even worse!
Quote:
Wait why are you talking like that? WHY WOULD YOU ASK ABOUT LARRY?! Maya something happened at the hosue and there us blood? Did larry do something?" Im low key freaking out
Phoenix: Yeah, fic-me. Says the person who was freaking out more about the pizza rolls than the crime scene. Maybe. I'm still not even 100% sure it was me.
Quote:
" NO….I did…I brought pearl to the house and she broke your picture off your wall, and as I tried to clean it up, more things were getting broke an di got cut, and I went to the hospital and I just needed a bandain it turns out but you know how blood freaks me out… Im so sorry I didn't men to cause all this, I hope you forgive me…"
" Don't worry aout it. I mean damn it for breaking all our shit, but at least youre ok…now time to go mess with larry.." I have a plan with this investigation and I began to laugh
Edgeworth: Now it seems that fic-you is a sadist as well, Wright. Wonderful. Two sadists getting married.
Phoenix: Yeah, fic-me is cruel for making Larry feel like he messed up and is responsible for ruining our house…
Larry: *sniff* Don't expect me to pay for any of this stuff…
Quote:
WEEEEEELLLL YOULL HAVE TO WAIT TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT….BEAUCSE YEAH BITCH…THERE MORE…TO BE CONINUTED…FUCK MY LIFE….
Maya: Does that mean we'll have to see this fic again next year?
Phoenix: Ugh, I really hope not.
Larry: Yeah! I mean, what if fic-me gets arrested for something I didn't do again? You're really mean, Nick…
Phoenix: Yeah, it's already established that fic-me is a terrible person.