You're Mia's little sister, aren't you?
Yes, I am!
You've grown since I saw you last.
My boobs are as big as yours now!

---

Hello, my name is Elias Bloodmoon. I am here to show two things. 1: The start of a new series called Larry Butz: Crappy pick-up attempts. 2: Elias Bloodmoon's rant on the new trailer for Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney. First, the rant.
----
00:06: CAPCOM Presents Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney. I'm amazed that the name has grown on me. I actually like it.
00:23: So far, it's pretty much the same as the GS4 trailer. Same text and everything.
00:24: I pause the video to go change my pants. Apollo's OBJECTION! voice was so awsome that I splurged the moment I heard it.
00:33: The text makes his name look cheesier than it is, in my opinion.
00:40: I would ask WTH The Chords of Steel are, but I have a feeling I'd look like an idiot if I did.
00:55: Trucy!? WTF!? They better have misspelled Tracy for the trailer, or else I'm going to be pissed.
01:05: Hehehe. Passionate heart burning red. That always makes me laugh...Maybe he should get some Alka-Seltzer. ROFL!
01:09: I have to change my pants again, thanks to Apollo's HOLD IT!
01:17: The only thing that matters in the truth, Justice...ANd the American Way! *Does Westside Handsign*
01:21: Kristoph....Nice ring to it.
01:25: A you mean a turn for the worse, right? Who says "Turn for the interesting?"
01:29: I plead silence regarding the murder...What happened to "I'm staying silent about what happened"?
01:37: ....They changed "And isn't it your job to do something about that" too...The jerks.
01:42: Do they have to do the flash of all the different screens in every trailer?
02:00: Final thought: It looks awsome. I'm so getting it. Heck, I'd get it just for Apollo's voice if the game sucked.
----
Now, for Larry: Crappy Pick-ups.
----
Sorry, but I don't like guys.
What a coincedence! Neither do I! *whipped*

---

Bloody brilliant.

---

edgeworth why do you always have to use my facilities?
because....you still owe me $38?
Wait that wasnt me! That was Larry!
Ok I saved your butt during many trials you were involved in?
like?
the 4th grade incident, the steel samurai case, the really freaky case with gant, Matt Engarde....(goes on for another hour)
FINE! WHATEVER JUST MAKE SURE YOU CLEAN UP THIS TIME!
but thats not what private time is about....
no.....NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooo...

---

The Search for Phoenix's Parents: Episode 9

Last time on The Search for Phoenix's Parents, Phoenix and the gang arrived at a strange motel run by strange uh.... people. Anyways, as the gang was about to go to sleep, a mighty storm started to rage outside and knocked out the electricity. As they started to panic, a strange laugh was heard out in the hallway. What will happen next? And is this a poor attempt at an intro to another episode? YES! Why? Because I am out of unique ideas to introduce a funny!
_____________________
I....I....Is someone going to see what that strange noise was from the hallway?

I GOT IT!!!!

Thank you Nick!

Huh? I mean I figured out the mystery.

The mystery of what Wright?

The mystery of the strange people at the motel.

Wait!?! There were strange people here?

Ignoring Gumshoe's pointless question, I have figured it out! I'm sure you have all realised that everyone in this motel all look the same, correct?

No freakin' duh!

Well I just figured out who they resemble! They resemble somebody I have seen before. In court!

Who?

Its very easy! They all look like.... uh....

Yes?

Um.... that guy.... his name is on the tip of my tongue.... just let me think..... its....

Prosecutor Payne!

Who?
----------------------*meanwhile*---------------------
Mystic Maya, did you hear that scary laughter?

Yes. I wanna go out there and kick whatever it is in the balls. I hate it when people interrupt my beauty sleep.

But you haven't gone to sleep yet....

You're interrupting me.....

Shutting up!

*Maya and Pearl head out into the hallway and hear more laughter*

GAH!!! Where in the world is that stupid laughing coming from??? I hear it, but it sounds like its all over!

This is like a scary movie!!! Its all dark and scary!!! I'm going to pee my pants!

Not now Pearly! It was because of that that we are here in the first place!

Sorry....

Y'know, why haven't I gotten laid yet? Don't you know that the pretty young virgin girls always die first in these kinds of movies?!?!

What's a virgin?

You ask too many questions. Shut up stupid.

............

Just you wait Mystic Maya.... I'll kill you yet....

What was that Pearly?

You almost made me cry.....

Baby.

-----------------*meanwhile*----------------
You go out into the hallway.

No, you go out into the hallway.

No! You go out into the hallway!!!!

*more laughter is heard, followed by a scream*

YOU GO OUT THERE WRIGHT!!!!

WILL YOU TWO BOTH SHUT UP FOR ONE MINUTE!!!! IF NONE OF YOU FREAKS ARE MAN ENOUGH, I'LL GO OUT THERE AND SEE WHAT IS OUT THERE MYSELF, PAL!!!! *gets up and goes out into the hallway.*

....................

..........Such a brave brave man.

You know, that scream sounded like a woman's. Maybe she is getting raped by the laughing guy. We should go check it out.

Not my cup of tea Wright.

So you are a flaming....

No I am not!!! The getting raped by a molester is not my cup of tea Wright!

Whatever, I am checking it out.... *leaves room*

Thank goodness!!! Now I can rest easy.

Good.... now I can kill you myself....

WHAT?!? You're the killer?!

No.... wish I was.... I hate your guts.

That's what she said.

------------------*in the hallway*------------------
Nick!!! You came!!! But I am disappointed. I thought you slept in nothing but your boxers, but you're all covered up in your pajamas.

I'm sleeping with Edgeworth. I didn't want to give him any ideas.

*more laughter is heard down the hallway, followed by another scream*

C'mon pals!!! Lets investigate this right now!!! *runs off down the hallway*

Hey Gumshoe! Wait for me and Maya!

Don't forget Pearly.

Pearls? I haven't seen here anywhere!

What?! *looks around the hallway and checks the room* She's not here! The crazy laughing guy must have gotten her!!! His first victim!!! Why couldn't it have been Larry instead? No one likes him!

True that.

Quick Nick!!! Do me right now!!!

Maya, is that all you can think about at a time like this?!?

Thats not it!!! If we aren't virgins, we won't die first!!! All virgins die first in scary movies!

Nice try Maya, but I'm not falling for it....

......... But I love you Nick......

Congratulations, lets go find Gumshoe.

Nick......

--------------*back in the guy's bedroom*-----------
One supermodel babe, two supermodel babes, three supermodel babes, four supermodel babes,...

Shut up your face hole! Can't you see I'm trying to sleep???

No..... the power is out.....

What are you doing anyways?

Counting pretty girls in my head always makes me fall asleep.

You know..... that idea might actually work....

So you respect me now since I gave you a good idea?

Not on your life....

-------------------------*Phoenix and Maya have made it down to the lobby, but no one is there*----------------------
*ringing the bell at the counter* Hello? Anybody there? I'm dissatisfied with your services! Come on out here and punish me!!!

Its not going to work Nick. I mean c'mon, the guy is only...

voice:

How may I be of service?

Holy crap!!! The bell just spoke!!!

Idiot... it was just a..... creepy voice from nowhere..... hold me....

voice:

You want me to punish you?

Um.... no.....

voice:

YOU DARE LIE TO ME?!?!?

Uh.....no sir... I uh....

voice:

PREPARE TO HAVE YOUR SOULS DEVOURED!!!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *screen goes dark*

*both of them wake up, tied up to each other*

Oh no!!! I'm having another bondage dream!!! Stay away from me Edgeworth!!!

Shut up Nick!!!.... Wait a minute, you have gay dreams?

Hush!!! Where are we?

Beats me.....

Mystic Maya! Mr. Nick! Is that really you?

Thank goodness you two are okay pal!

Where are you guys?

Tied up right next to you..... I think. We are all wearing blindfolds as far as I know.

Oh..... *blindfold lifts up* ....not anymore.....

AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! NO!!!! IT CAN'T BE!!!!!!!!

What will happen to the gang....... wait a sec!!! Screw a cliff hanger! I'm continuing!

Heheheheh....... Its been a while.....

Von Karma?!?!?

VON KARMA?

That's right!!! It is I! Manfred Von Karma! The ideal perfectionist!!!!

And you are here because????

Because this.... wait, let me turn off the haunting speak since you know who I am now....

Ahem. I am here because this hotel has screamed imperfect to me from far away! I have come to purify it!

How are you doing that Mr. Big Booming scary voice man?

Easy! Hehehehe......

Um...... we don't have all funny. Explain soon before this funny ends!

*crawling towards Von Karma in a bondage outfit* P-P-Please your perfectionist..... have mercy on my imperfect soul!!!



That voice still makes me pee my pants.

Not you too....

Why not sir???

Because I have not punished you enough!!!! *kicks the long haired Payne back*

Now *looks at Phoenix* I must deal with you!!!!

What? Because of that trial? I thought you were given the death sentence! Is that why you are after me you fiend?!?

No, but thanks for reminding me! Now I have two reasons to deal with you!!!!

Then whats the other one?

Stupid fool!!!! *kicks him* I can't believe you don't know!!! It is of your birth! You are born of uncleansed parents!!!

What in the freakin' world are you talking about?

The truth about your parents!!!!

About time this plot moves forward. Aside from the title, I haven't heard no hide or hair of my parents for the last few funnies.

And..... insert cliffhanger....

Thank you Maya!!!! So what is this big secret about Phoenix's parents that Von Karma knows? And why is one of the Paynes in a bondage outfit? Do I just like writing about Paynes' in kinky outfits?! To be continued!

---

NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! Not another cliffhanger! Anyways...
-----
*You see a small house in a residential area*
Gumshoe goes long!
*Cut to a kitchen, where Maggey and is making some food, and Gumshoe is holding a football*
And he makes the catch! *hits table with football* Touchdown!
Hey, Gumshoe... *She works as a babysitter now, and it's her day off. She's invited Gumshoe over. She wants to go steady with him* I was thinking, maybe we could go stea...*Doorbell rings, so she goes and opens the door*
Kids, Maggey will look after you today.
TODAY!? Uh, NOT!?
and a baby:*Run inside*
Appriciate it!
WAIT!
*You hear loud bangs in the distance*
GUMSHOE!?
Maggey! Get these kids off of me! Either they go, or *Dramatic point* I go!
Nooooo!!!!....HEEEEEEAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLP!
----
*Looking at Maggey's face on a screen* Attorneys....Are...*Dramatic point*GO!
----
I think it would be a good time to say that all the lyrics were copied from the fic Life of an Agent on Fanfiction.net, which means if White Jet got them wrong, I got them wrong.
----
*You see the street outside of the house. A black car pulls up with a picture of an attorney's badge on the side, and you hear a guitar begin to play Walkie Talkie Man by Steriogram. The car screeches to a halt and three figures jump out*
*Lands with and behind him, one on each side. He flashes a badge which says BA-5. All three of them are holding microphones*
Mission!

Episode One: Trio of Mayhem
Love and Boyfriends

Gotta put Tommy to sleep first! *grabs baby*
*Start waving side to side*
*Looks completely defeated, but then starts waving her arms side to side too*
*Point towards the camera* Are you ready? 3 2 1 GO!

Well, you're walkin' and a-talkin'

And a-movin' and a-groovin'

And a-hippin' and a-hoppin'

And a-pickin' and a-boppin'

Those bods are being bad,

You better take a stand,

You gonna wake up that thing in your hand.

You're looking all around,

There's trouble to be found,

Make sure, when you find it, you get to say it loud.

Got a code three - need back up -

Bring me my bright pink fluoro jacket

*stretches her arms out, holding the baby in her hands, and began swinging him around.*

He's fat and he don't run too fast, (Well, you're walkin' and a-talkin')

But he's faster than me. (You're my walkie talkie man)

Last night at the show we saw him (Well, you're walkin' and a-talkin')

Going out of his tree.

Go! Go! Go! Go!

*The baby's diaper starts growing*
Oh no! We don’t have any diapers!
*In his head to see an equation: Diaper=Football. He puts on his football helmet, grabs the baby, then sits the baby on the toilet before he seriously dirties his diaper*
*Holding baby, who she puts in crib* Sleeping like an Angel! You know Gumshoe, I was thinking...
I’M HUNGRY!

Well, you're walkin' and a-talkin'

And a-freakin' and a-yellin'

And a-bossin' and a-speakin'

And a-lookin' and a-pointin'

Always tell us what to do

With your high top shoes,

And you wave your torch

With your black short-shorts.

Don't let em get away;

Don't think they can play;

Nail 'em to the wall,

'Cause you really need to say:

Got a code three - need back up -

Bring me my bright pink fluoro jacket

*Finds some donuts, and begins handing them to Pearl, who begins scarfing them down like mad*

He's fat and he don't run too fast, (Well, you're walkin' and a-talkin')

But he's faster than me. (You're my walkie talkie man)

Last night at the show we saw him (Well, you're walkin' and a-talkin')

Going out of his tree.

Go! Go! Go! Go!

*Runs out of doughnuts* I'M STILL HUNGERY!
*Panicky* Okay...How about a hotdog?
*Hotdog=Football. Grabs hotdog and throws into Pearl's mouth* Hotdog ala Gumshoe special!
*Turns back to Gumshoe* I was really thinking if we could...
*Bursts through the two on a skateboard*
ARG! *Chases after him*

Well, you're walkin' and a-talkin'

And a-movin' and a-groovin'

And a-hippin' and a-hoppin'

And a-pickin' and a-boppin'

Those bods are being bad,

You better take a stand,

You gonna wake up that thing in your hand.

You're looking all around,

There's trouble to be found,

Make sure, when you find it, you get to say it loud.

Got a code three - need back up -

Bring me my bright pink fluoro jacket!

*Grabs the edge of Cody's skateboard, significantly slowing it down as she gets dragged along*

He's fat and he don't run too fast, (Well, you're walkin' and a-talkin')

But he's faster than me. (You're my walkie talkie man)

Last night at the show we saw him (Well, you're walkin' and a-talkin')

Going out of his tree.

Go! Go! Go! Go!

*Loses her grip*
*Goes flying through the air, falling off his skateboard, about to crack his skull open on the stairs*
*Skateboard=football. Runs and grabs Cody before he hits the ground*
*As she pushes Cody for a time out* Kids just wanna have fun! *Goes back to Gumshoe* Dick, I...
Baby: *starts crying again*
Gotta put Tommy to sleep again!

He's fat and he don't run too fast,

But he's faster than me.

Last night at the show we saw him

Going out of his tree.

*Does the swinging thing with the baby again*

My walkie talkie man!

(First verse overlaps with chorus)

He's fat and he don't run too fast, (Well, you're walkin' and a-talkin')

But he's faster than me. (You're my walkie talkie man)

Last night at the show we saw him (Well, you're walkin' and a-talkin')

Going out of his tree.

Go! Go! Go! Go!

*By the time the song nears the end, all three kids are warn out, sleeping in Maggey’s bed. She and Gumshoe watch from the door with happiness and relief on their faces.*

Thanks to you, Gumshoe, the kids are finally asleep...Gumshoe *starts blushing* Be my steady.
*Maggey=fieldgoal* It'd be my pleasure! *Kisses Maggey on the cheek* It's victory for Gumshoe!
Oh Gumshoe.
----
YEAH! *Thumbs up*
Mission complete!

---

*in the maternity ward*
I wonder if I'll have a boy or a girl?
I'll have a girl, because when she was concieved I was on top.
Then I'll have a boy, because when he was concieved my husband was on top.
Waaaaah!
What's wrong?
I'm going to have a puppy!

---

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Oh my god...I think my roommates think I'm insane for laughing that loudly now. XD

---

0_o

hmm...this calls for two things...make that 3...

---

Glad you liked my blonde joke. Here's more.

This jigsaw puzzle makes no sense! It doesn't look like a tiger at all! What do you think?
I think you should put the Frosted Flakes back in the box, sweetie.
---
*fleeing from the police, hide in burlap sacks*
*kicks the bags*
Meow!
Woof!
Potatoes!

---

Elias, awesome EBA ref!!!

ShyTenda, sweet blonde jokes! They are cracking me up! Love 'em!

---

Hey, guess what I learned? ...How to create a ripft in time in reality!

A ripft?

Yeah watch!

DOdoDOdoDOdoDOdoDOdoDOdoDOdoDOdoDOdoDOdoDOdoDOdoDOdoDOdoDOdoDOdoDOdoDO!

What just happened? I'm not a hobo anymore!

It's magic!

...Lisa?

No, I'm Trucy or Minuki or something!

Uh... ok, now what?

Just watch! Al sorts of weird stuff can happen in ripft world!

The old grey mare she ain't what she used to be, ain't what she used to be, AIN'T what she used to be...

...

That's just Tim!

You say that like it would explain everything...

WHO WANTS TO HEAR MY RENDITION OF USS PINAFORE?

OK, this is getting seriously fucked up. When can we leave?

Well, I'm not sure! It could be five minutes, it could be twenty years!

I'll get old!

No you won't! Age does not exist in Ripft world! This is a ripft! Nothing is real, but nothing is nonexistent! It's like a paradox world! I bet if we look hard enough we could find the meaning of life!

Well... when in Ripft World... I'm going to go fishing with a dotted line!

Now you're getting the hang of it!

Yeah, yeah! And I'll fish in that puddle! Or is it a puddle? Is it a cow?

Yeah, yeah, that's perfect!

Look! It's Salvador Dahli! He can help us!

Where is it? I've been looking for it for months!

Here it is! Your sprinkles!

Hey, we're returning to normality!

Why, hello there office! How's the weather in Boise?

...Dad? I said we're going back to normal.

And here is my umbrella! Let's use it to tell us what time it is! ...Hello Mr. Wobbles!

...I guess I'm Mr. Wobbles now...

He seems to be having trouble realizing he's in the real world again. What will we do?

We have to do something so outrageous he knows he's in the real world!

...Makes sense. HEY DAD!

Yes no my yes flowerhead?

This statement is false!

.............Woah. That just blew my mind. Hey, where am I?

---

Mr. Edgeworht! I want you to make science to me!
(Yes! Now I can lay all these "gay" rumors to rest!)
ZOMG PAEDOPHILE!
DAMMIT!

---

So, do you have any idea how you even got into this mess?
I told you, it was I who killed Goodman. Don't take up my case, please.
I don't believe you.
Then ask Mr. Edgeworth, he's right over there. Hey, Mr. Edgeworth, according to the prosecutions case, how did I get into this mess?
I was mas-

---

MOAR BLONDE JOKES!

*facing a firing squad*
Ready... Aim...
EARTHQUAKE!
ZOMG WHERE?!
*escapes*
Let's try this again. Ready... Aim...
FLOOD!
ZOMG WHERE?!
*escapes*
One more time. Ready... Aim...
FIRE!
---
*eating sandwiches on a bridge*
Grilled cheese again? *jumps*
Tuna salad again? *jumps*
PBJ again? *jumps*
If I knew she would jump over this, I would have made something else!
Same here!
She made her own lunch...

---

I was thinking of doing a Gyakuten Saiban version of High School Musical, with:

Troy:
Gabriella: (thanks to Croik!)
Chad:
Taylor: (my OTP...)
Sharpay:
Ryan: (I know, it's sick...)
Zeke:
Jason: !
Kelsi:
Mrs. Darbus: Bikini (we need a smilie!)
Coach Bolton: Tsunekatsu!
Martha:
Principal Whatever:
Mr. Fulton (from 2):

If this is okay, tell me, and I'll continue.

Bye.

---

NO. HIGH SCOOL MUSICAL SUCKS ASS.

---

Instant no.

---

So you're an Science stundent?
Yes. Also a math genius. There is nothing I can't count.
Alright then. What's 2+2?
4!
9,53434*209?
1992,67706!
The number of series in the funnies thread?
....*dies*

---

hmm i got one for regina

Hey whippersnapper look! *points in the pool* Its a scratch and sniff and the bottom of the pool! why in my day...(rambles on for hours)
SCRATCH AND SNIFF!? WHERE!!? *jumps in the pool scratching and sniffing the card then drowns shortly after*
YAY NOW I CAN BECOME A STAR! lolz!!!!!!!!111111oneoneone

i appologize if this one stinks

---

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE WORST PART IS SOMEONE AS AWESOME AS TAKITA SHOULD NOT BE USED AS A MAIN PERSON IN THE WORST MUSICAL EVER!!!!!!!!!

---

HSM...I'm not going to complain, 'cause I'm one of the 5 people in the universe who like HSM, but I don't think it'd be smart with all the haters...It's amazing how it's classified as one of the biggest pop culture things in the universe, yet pretty much everyone I know hates it.

---

And It's My Turn with a few Blonde Jokes (and I mean it with no offense to anyone as I'm a blonde myself ):


* is tip-toeing in bathroom in the dark as Max turns on the light.*

Sweetie, Why are sneaking past the medicine cabinet?

*whispers* Shhh, Keep your voice down.

Why?

I don't wanna wake the sleeping pills.
_____________________________________

* walks into a Doctors office*

Doctor, I'm hurting all over my body.

That's odd. Show me what you mean.

So Regina takes her finger and pokes her elbow, and screams in pain. She touches her knee and cries in agony and so on.

You're not a natural brunette are you?

No, I'm a blonde.

I thought so.... your finger is broken.
________________________________________

Max, Please come over here and help me. I have a jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started.

What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"

According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger

* picks up and looks at the box and and looks down at the pieces and back up at the box on the table*

No matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger, sweetie:



Princess, I want you to do two things me for me. OK?

First , you need to calm down and relax.

*wipes away tears* ...OK...

Now, help me put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box.

LMAO :D

---

THANK YOU ELIASBLOODMOON!

---

How about Star Wars, then?

I posted that previously!

---

Oh, yeah. I also hate Godot Fan, Takita, and DarzieP! That was harsh, so Shelly is watching you...

So, three people, eh? I'll get that coffee drinker, that guy with Megaman on his signature, and that wierd name guy.

No offense.

---

Sorry, Godot Fan, Takita and DarzieP about the last post.

I'm new, so I'm really sorry. Please forgive me?

---

Previous episode:



Act 1:
Continuing from last time, Miles Edgeworth and his two minions (CI and LySs) confronted to get some important info out of Damon Gant in his room at the asylum.

: Before we begin the real questioning Cheif Gant, I'd like to know... What in Zues' name is with the santa costume?



: I'm still wearing this? How clumsy of me, I must have lost it at the mall in Christmas. Sure that's the reason I'm in this dreaded place but a guy like me can't help having a child on my la-

(CI) : We know where this is going, so we-

: I must get a little comfortable first, this costume is starting to get on my nerves. *takes of costume*

(LySs) : You were wearing nothing under that!?

: I would get shocked but I'm sadly used to it all, I don't have time for this.

: *runs*

: What in the-!? After him!

: ...*sees the bunch running past* We got a naked guy on the loose again. Mimi!

: *brings out a kickass minigun* I'm on it. ...You Becker ripoff.

: *stops just outside the asylum* Ah! Great place to let my babies free!

: *tired* I said that I don't have ti-



: Hell to the mother-objecting no!

: If that's the case! *runs*

: Not again! *runs after him*

Act 2:
Believe it or not, Edgeworth's minions couldn't catch up with him and Damon Gant and lost themselves in the asylum's parking lot. No matter though since they've got other things to worry about.

(CI) : For the last time, stop addressing us as minions.

(LySs) : I'd suggest that we not anger the author.

(CI) : Who the hell is the author of this shitty author any-all true worriers strive for cum.

(LySs) : What in the-!? Godmodding?

(CI) : Now I know for a fact that it's that sonuva-bitch Revive from Volvic! I'll eat you for breakfaaaaaaaaaaast!

: *holding the kickass minigun* This is where it ends. You let out that crazy bastard, you must pay for it.

(CI) : Oh great, it's the retard's sister? How's she doing handling all those blond funnies above this post?

: For your information, she wasn't in any one of those.

(LySs) : We don't visit much often like RevFirst 'cuz he's a loser. Enough with the funny series #265, I'm off to meet my uncle.

LySs has left the funny.

(CI) : Yeah, the only reason we're here is to see Edgeworth in more pain but getting shot to a million pieces by your massive weapon doesn't seem to be worth it. Gotta go to college now.

(CI) : MIND FUCK!

CI has left the funny.

: I stood right in front of them and even I don't know how they did that!

Act 3:
Damon Gant's on the loose naked somewhere in downtown L.A. and Edgeworth has lost track of him. He begins to lose faith.
: More and more, I find myself wondering if it's worth ending the blasted pairing joke. *remembers the horrible things that involves him and the word 'yaoi'*

: ...*hears something*



: I have a goal, and I'm gonna see it through!


: Okay, this is just getting stupendous amounts of awesomeness from RevFirst and he most definitely does not dream of a hotel full of Winston Payne clones... Or does he?

: What the deuce!? Why did he go and say that!?



Last edited by RevFirst on Tue Sep 25, 2007 7:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.

: Want to hear a song?

: Is it the-

: Numa numa yay! Numa numa yay! Numa numa numa yay!

: NNOOOOOOOO! I knew it! That song is every bad guy's nightmare! AAAAAAAAAAHH!

: Matt's weakness is the Numa song?

: Apparently so!

---

I didn't care. I have a lot of enemies already so...

---

Turnabout Girl Squad!

Cheerleader!
So and So!
What's Her Face!
The Ugly One!

Hey gals, let's go get ready to LOOK SO GOOD!!!
Word.
Word.
Word.

Ak-ak-ak-ak-ak!

Okay, now let's start LOOKING GOOD!!!
A'ight.
A'ight.
A'ight.

VOIP!
Ema, you look burnt, or DEAD.

I miss Em...a.

I have a crush on EVERY BOY!
ARROWED!
OW! My skin!

PUNT!!!
Dag, yo.

I look so good!!

Hey there Maya. You're lookin so good. You want to go with me to Checkers? Or Rally's? Or, um, Sonic... Burger?
Whatever we got around here.

IT'S OVER!

---

"Is that you, Santa?!"
"Santa? Am I that old?"
"No...he's just that st--
"Shut the hell up, I'm talking to Santa, damnit!"
"Santa's here?! I've been very very good! I WANT A NEW FENDER STRATOCASTER!"
"NO! MY TURN! I WANT...A LASER THAT CAN DESTROY THE WORLD!" +Evil laughter+
"Santa doesn't give things to people on the naughty list."
"...Santa hates you."
"But I'm not Santa!"
"...I'm leaving. Wanna come with, Udgey?"
"Gladly."
and +Bicker for the rest of the day about Santa.+

---

T&T Case 1 spoilers





NO! Dahlia would never try to kill me!

But the evidence says that she did!

NO! I'll show everyone how much I love her by singing her this song!

...

Hey there Dahlia
What's it like in New York City?
I'm a thousand miles away
But girl tonight you look so pretty
Yes you do
Times Square can't shine as bright as you
I swear it's true

Hey there Dahlia
Don't you worry about the distance
I'm right there if you get lonely
Give this song another listen
Close your eyes
Listen to my voice it's my disguise
I'm by your side

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me

Hey there Dahlia
I know times are getting hard
But just believe me girl
Someday I'll pay the bills with this guitar
We'll have it good
We'll have the life we knew we would
My word is good

Hey there Dahlia
I've got so much left to say
If every simple song I wrote to you
Would take your breath away
I'd write it all
Even more in love with me you'd fall
We'd have it all

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me

A thousand miles seems pretty far
But they've got planes and trains and cars
I'd walk to you if I had no other way
Our friends would all make fun of us
and we'll just laugh along because we know
That none of them have felt this way
Dahlia I can promise you
That by the time we get through
The world will never ever be the same
And you're to blame

Hey there Dahlia
You be good and don't you miss me
Two more years and you'll be done with school
And I'll be making history like I do
You'll know it's all because of you
We can do whatever we want to
Hey there Dahlia here's to you
This ones for you

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me.

...

...

...

ENCORE! Hey there Dahlia-

AUGHHH!!! I CONFESS!! I KILLED DOUG!!!

What's it like in New... YOU WHAT!?

---

Turnabout Girl Squad!

Cheerleader!
So and So!
What's Her Face!
The Ugly One!

Hi gals! How you looking?
SO GOOD!
OKAY!
I mean, so good.

I just picked up this fashion magazine with MORE HOT TIPS!
w00t!
w00t!
w00t.
Let's get started!

*chomp chomp*

You must be girls.
(I think I have a chance with this guy!)
BAT! BAT! BAT! BAT! BAT! BAT! BAT!
What happened to her?
She got hurt because Cody hit her with a bat.
...Let's date.
I'm down.

SWOOP! GRASPED!

I'm totally crushing.
CHILDREN!

Where were you guys?
We got jealous.
...Let's get yougurt!

I got jimmies.

IT'S OVER!

---

The Search for Phoenix's Parents: Episode 10

That's right folks! This episode I will discover the origins of my birth!

QUIET!!!! You cannot break the fourth wall and discuss the plot with the audience! That is imperfect!

Oh yeah, why are you being so kind as to tell me who my parents are?

I'm not.

You're...... not?

Oh please! I can't possibly be nice to you! You are too imperfect for me to do that! Its so I can torture you!

Its because I got you guilty in the court of law and got you the death sentence that you're mad at me, huh?

No. But thanks for reminding me!!!

Wait, if I had to remind you then you aren't....



MY EARS!!!!

I AM PERFECT!!!! Do not question the perfectness of my perfection!!!

Um.... Mr. Von Karma.... can we actually get on with this funny? I think you're stalling for time to think of a plot.



OWWWWWWWWW!!!!!

It is not me who is stalling for a plot! It is the author!!!

Dullahan1: HEY!!!!

You stall because you are imperfect, unlike me, who is perfect!!!

Dullahan1: I'm telling my mommy!!! *runs off crying*

Umm.... if the author is gone, who is going to write this funny? In fact, how is it possible that I have dialogue right now at this very moment?

Simple. I am more perfect than God himself. I have the power to make this funny go on.

God is too omnipotent and perfect!!! You couldn't possibly be more perfect than God!!! That would make you more um.... perfecter than perfect and that's not possible!!!

We shall see then. *snaps fingers and a glowing figure appears*

God: What is it Manfred.

I would like to ask you right now who it was who created all human life.

God: I did of course.

This is a no brainer. Of course he created....

AHEM! And God, who created you?

He has always been!!! No one created...

God: You did oh perfect Manfred.

My point. *snaps fingers and God goes away*

Wow.... Von Karma is omnipotent!!!

There is just no way!!!!

Oh, but there is!

Um.... I feel slightly ignored in this episode...

Me too...

As I have just demonstrated, no one is more perfect than me. Even the almighty God falls short of my perfection.

Then how about Buddha, or Allah, or maybe...

They will just say the same thing as God. Proven fact. Now, enough of this banter! I shall get back onto the plot as of now!

This funny sucks.

As you know, I came into this hotel seeking to clean out the imperfection that was wreaking from it. It was just by perfect luck that I ran into you. Your past has screamed imperfect to me for sometime and I must now correct what is wrong. After I tell you of your parents, I must kill you.

What the crap?!?

Heh heh..... your parents are....

HOLD IT VON KARMA!!!! I am here to fend off my childhood nightmares and slay you once and for all!!!

Shut up Edgeworth!!! I was about to find out about my pa..

I have come for revenge!!! You.... you killed my father!!!

No Miles.... I AM YOUR FATHER!!!

That can't be!!! That's impossible!!!

Search your feelings, you know it to be true!!!

I am. Gregory Peck.... I mean Gregory Edgeworth was my father!!!

As was I.

No you weren't!!! Just because my father's wife died when I was 3 means nothing!!! He was very happy with me!!!

On the contrary, he was very happy with me.

Liar!!! I know you would never date someone less perfect than you.

True, but Gregory was different. He was the most perfect human I could find.

I don't believe you!!! And you aren't my dad!!! My father never married you!!!

Yes he did Miles. I just never told you back then because your little imperfect mind couldn't have handled it.

I don't believe you!!!

Your father was one of a kind. A nearly perfect man. We met, it was love at perfect sight. We got married. And your father was a perfect lover. In bed he would do...

SHUT UP!!! SHUT UP!!!! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ANY MORE!!!! YOU HATED HIM!!! YOU KILLED HIM!!!

I had to. His perfection died out. He..... he... betrayed my perfect trust. He drank a can of Pepsi. Everyone knows that Coca-Cola is the only perfect soft drink!!! It was then that I decided to kill him. Of course, him almost defeating me in court just put it over the top. He had promised to let me win, but he fought back. It was then that I killed him, right then and there. Thus, the whole DL-6 incident.

Boy, the game sure leaves out alot of significant plot points.

Don't make me cut myself Von Karma!!! I'm already traumatized enough!!!

That's what I hate about you!!! Your emoness just screams imperfect!!! But your sister, now she knows what perfect is, but then again, she is the daughter of a god.

What happened to the plot about my...

DIE VON KARMA!!!! EAT CRAVAT!!!! *throws cravat at Von Karma*

............

Beware my power?

............

Crap...

Stupid. Your gay attack won't work.

How many times do I have to spell it out for you Wright?

.............. *ack*..........

Huh?

Cravats...... as perfect as I am.... I never.... developed a resistance to these..... you have won....... curse you Miles..... *melts into a puddle of goo*

*picks up cravat* Eww..... its covered in man goo.....

Now you know how your father felt...

Well, I conquered my fears and I saved your butts. You should all be thankful!!!

YOU IDIOT!!!! You completely ignored the plot of this funny and killed the only man who knew of my parents!!! Now I will never find out!!!

Um.... if that were the case pal, why are we here in the first place?

What about your twin Mr. Nick?

I forgot all about that!!! Quick! Back to the RV!!!

*lights come on*

How convienent. A perfect end to this horrible nightmare.

Don't ever say the "P" word again....

*everyone leaves*

*tied up* H....Hello???

Anyone there???

We don't enjoy being tied up and stripped naked like bondage slaves.





HELP US!!!!

This steak is still inedible....

*outside the motel*

That motel was crap. I ain't staying there again.

The guy next door seemed to have been having a blast. He kept on yelling 'More! More!'

Larry?

No.... some guy..... named.... uh.... DeadThirst.... HevBurst..... Liverwurst....?

Who would have a good time in a hotel full of freaks?

Um.....speaking of Larry, where is he?

We were talking about Larry?

Are me and Mr. Gumshoe the only ones who care about him???

Yes.

*runs outside* Are you guys leaving without me??? You all should have warned me before we decided to leave the Brooklyn Hot Macho Motel!!!!

Did you say Brooklyn?

Wow!!! Maybe we shall see your twin pal!

Maybe he was one of those freaks in that motel!!!

Please don't say that. Let us go!!! Onward to find my twin!!! *walks off into the sunset in a respectable way*

What an idiot. Doesn't he know we have an RV???

It smells like pee.

Good point. *all follow Phoenix, with Larry lagging behind*

Don't leave yet!!! That will mean this episode is over!!! I want more lin...

_______________________________________
So thus ends episode ten! In case you are wondering, yes I am back!!! I told my mommy about Von Karma, but she said to talk to my dad, who told me to talk to my mom...... I'm sure you can see where this is going. Anyways, no one cared, but since Von Karma is dead, I can honestly say that he had what was coming to him, jerk. Well, anyways, I promise that I shall continue this funny sometime soon, so stay tuned!!! Next episode, Phoenix might meet his twin!!!

---

Dulla, great work once again and I just love how you ended it.

FOUR THREE GUYS TALKING SHIT

with RevFirst, DarzieP, and Chinese Infantry

(RevFirst) Hey, have you guys noticed that Waffle's been gone for a while?

(DarzieP) No.

(Cee-Eye) Who?

(Rev) You know. Little nerd who hangs out with us?

(Darz) That's Waffle? I thought his name was always "Hey You."

(CI) He did answer to it.

(Rev) Whatever. Why do you think he's gone?

(Darz) It's obvious...

NOT-RIPPED-OFF-FROM-FAMILY-GUY-FLASHBACK

(Waff) What a beautiful day in Australia! Ooh! A koala bear! Who's a cute little koala?

Grrr....*attacks Waffle*

(Waff) OW! MY BLOOD! I NEED THAT TO NOT DIE!

END FLASHBACK

(Darz) And that's why Waffle isn't here.

(CI) Bullshit. Here's what happened....

N-R-O-F-F-G-F

(Waff) *in an Indiana Jones outfit* I've journied long and hard to get to this ancient temple in the darkest jungles of Iowa to retrieve this statue of the ancient god Screwtherulesihavemoney. With its power, I will be as funny as LittleKuriboh! *grabs statue and the obligatory giant boulder appears*

The Band: Na naa nanana nana nanaa na Katamari Damacy...

(Waff) HOLY SHIT NOT AGAIN! *runs but gets flattened*

END FLASHBACK

(CI) And that's why Waffle isn't here.

(Rev) You're both retards.

(Darz) Well, what do YOU think happened?

(Rev) Hmmm....

N-R-O-F-F-G-F

(Waff) *playing DS*

(Jack Thompson) GAMER! EVIL!

(Waff) WTF?

(Jacko) *beats Waff to death with a baseball bat*

(Waff) OW! OW! I WAS JUST PLAYING ANIMAL CROSSING! AHH!

END FLASHBACK

(Rev) And that's why Waffle isn't here.

(Darz) Makes sense.

(CI) Yeah.

(Waff) *walks up* Hey guys. Sorry I was gone.

(Rev) Waffle! Where were you, man?!

(Darz) Australia?

(CI) Iowa?

(Rev) Jack Thompson?

(Waff) What? No. I was in California with an old friend.

FLASHBACK TO THE REAL THING

(Waff) DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU.

END FLASHBACK

(CI) That joke's five months old.

(Waff) Fuck you desu!

THE ENDESU

You see many famous symbols of Hollywood flash by, such as the Chinese theater and the Hollywood sign itself, until you zoom in onto one small area called Global Studios.
And...ACTION!
*Is wearing a white tux as Adrian runs up to him* BABY!
*Is wearing a wedding dress* Darling!
As they hold onto each other, you hear a creak, then you see the set to look like a chapel crash down around them.
Sal...
Ms. Vasquez...
You better make this next movie a hit or else...
Or else...?
Or else you're...
FIRED!
HEEEEEAAAAALLLLLLLP!
----
*Staring at Sal's face on a computer screen* Attorneys...Are...GO!
---
You hear Sum 41's Makes No Difference begin to play as a jetpack fires up, and you see three figures go flying over the LA sky, landing right in front of Sal.
Hey!
Mission! *Flashes badge that says BA-2*
Episode Two: Red Carpet Premiere!
Smash Hit or Box Office Crash!!
JUST STAR ROLLING!
*After taking off their jetpacks, start waving their arms side to side with the beat*
*Looks completely defeated, but the starts waving with the beat*
Are you ready? 321 GO!

You're running fast and missing but cannot help convincing

The reasons you gave me are all wearing thin.

*Starts making a magnificent wedding...vow...speech...majjigger...Hey, cut me some slack, I've only ever been to one wedding, and at that I wasn't paying attention*

It's not meant to hurt you but let me assure you,

It's not what I said but intentions you've read.

ACTION!
*As the priest* You may now kiss the bride.
And...Kiss!
*Lean in in a super romantic, super shiney, wedding kiss with glitter and tears and all that*
Good! Keep up the good work!
Next, the chase scene!

So when you hold onto the past then you

Will break down what little is left.

Yeah, there's nothing more you can't ignore,

And say it makes no difference to me.

ACTION!
You see a desert scene where is being kidnapped by the villian in a sports car, and is chasing after her on a white stallion.
And...JUMP!
The car hits a bump in the road, and gets sent soaring into the air.
*Makes the horse jump, and grabs and pulls her out of the car.
Good! Keep up the good work!
Now, the escape scene!

Now that you're older, life's weighing on your shoulders.

You can't seem to keep things so perfectly straight.

With most things so basic you might as well face it:

You can't help but worry it's all just begun

So when you hold onto the past then you

Will break down what little is left.

Yeah, there's nothing more you can't ignore,

And say it makes no difference to me.

ACTION!
*Is running down a tunnel with in his arms, being chased by bolder Indinana Jones style*
Get away!
Hang ON! *Jumps over the bolder*
I see $$ signs!
Now, to the meowzilla scene!

It makes no difference to me...

It makes no difference to me...

It makes no difference to me...

It makes no difference.

*IS in a giant monster suit, destroying a replica city*
Lift the paw!
A giant cat paw lifts up into the air.
DROP IT!
The paw lands, destroying a large building.
Now for the last scene!

So when you hold onto the past then you

Will break down what little is left.

Yeah, there's nothing more you can't ignore,

And say it makes no difference to me.

& *Standing on a beach, holding eachother's hands*
*starts out doing his lines horibally, but gets them right eventually*

It makes no difference...

It makes no difference to me.

It makes no difference...

It makes no difference to me.

*Walking down the red carpet at the big premire*
Random interviewer: What do you have to say for the fans?
Thanks for all the support!
----
*Thumbs up* YEAH!
Mission Complete!

---