Like, what?
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You know, all these years, I KNOW you've been smuggling something. SOMETHING, but I don't know what, and it's been bothering me every night. Just between you and me, what is it you've been smuggling? I swear I won't tell anyone.
The guy replied: "Bicycles."I hope that wasn't too offensive
Super Tuff Pink Puff
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My son is bored. Care to play with him?
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DO WANT!! DO WANT VERY MUCH!!!
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Doesn't know how to ride a bike D:
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Location: Where do you live, bub? On Mars?
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Gold walks into a bar and orders a drink. After a few minutes, he starts trouble with the other customers. Annoyed, Silver walks in and shouts, "Au! Get out of the bar!"
Mmm, bacon.
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Yo Dawg!
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pew pew pew, pal!
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Gold walks into a bar and orders a drink. After a few minutes, he starts trouble with the other customers. Annoyed, Silver walks in and shouts, "Au! Get out of the bar!"
Aha, I think this has just become one of my favorite jokes because I'm a nerd :B
Feed Godot, click on the image. xD;;
キラキラ ♥
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Three guys go to see a witch doctor about their problems.
One has a smoking problem, one is an alcholic and one is gay but wants to change.
The docter puts a curse on them that if any of them indulge their habits again they will die.
Two days later the alcholic dies because he gave in and had to drink.
The next day the gay guy and the smoker are walking down the street together. The smoker sees a cigarette lying and the ground and stops to stare at it.
The gay guy looked at him and said "if you bend over and pick that up we are both fnck'd"
~There's Some Sorrow In Every Life~
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An Newbie
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how do you know when a blonde is having a bad day?
Super Tuff Pink Puff
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Gold walks into a bar and orders a drink. After a few minutes, he starts trouble with the other customers. Annoyed, Silver walks in and shouts, "Au! Get out of the bar!"
I can't believe how much I was cracking up at that one. My old Chemistry teachers would be proud.
On the subject of smart jokes...
Like, what?
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My son is bored. Care to play with him?
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Attorney
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Holy cow that was funny! XD
What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho Cheese.
Ask about my avatar for a chilling story
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Ac#e to the rescue!!! Avvy be Leeling.
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AW CRAP THAT WAS MEAN!!!!! DX
Thanks to the combined awesomeness of Ceres and the Vickinator, I shall TAKE OVER THE WORLD!
...Just kidding. But check out the sig they made me!
pew pew pew, pal!
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Ahaha, that's totally awesome xD
Feed Godot, click on the image. xD;;
Super Tuff Pink Puff
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That had to be one of the best long jokes I ever read.
Breaking hiatus.
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"If you choke a smurf...what color does it turn?"
pew pew pew, pal!
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"If you choke a smurf...what color does it turn?"
Invisible!
Feed Godot, click on the image. xD;;
The master of Judging 64
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"If you choke a smurf...what color does it turn?"
DUN HAM DOT COM
<_<
Like, what?
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That's hardly a joke! So...cruel!!!
I give love a bad name.
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"If you choke a smurf...what color does it turn?"
DUN HAM DOT COM
<_<
AHAHA JEFF DUNHAM FTW!
The Modern Odysseus
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Oh, and XFD at that monk joke.
And that's all.
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:D.
Dag, yo.
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Well, I think they're bear tracks.
Bear tracks?
You're kidding, right? Come on, they're obviously bear tracks!No. Look, they're totally wolf tracks. Yeah, they- what??? No duh, they're wolf tracks! A wolf went through here. I'm surrounded by morons. I still think they're bear tracks. Alright, idiots. Quit fooling around. They're clearly deer tracks. What? You're crazy! Bear tracks! Wolf tracks! Deer tracks! Dummies!And they were still arguing when the train hit them.
Super Ace Attorney
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Well, I think they're bear tracks. Bear tracks? You're kidding, right? Come on, they're obviously bear tracks!No. Look, they're totally wolf tracks. Yeah, they- what??? No duh, they're wolf tracks! A wolf went through here. I'm surrounded by morons. I still think they're bear tracks. Alright, idiots. Quit fooling around. They're clearly deer tracks. What? You're crazy! Bear tracks! Wolf tracks! Deer tracks! Dummies!And they were still arguing when the train hit them.
That's actually good.
Death Note is awesome.
"No, this is a reasonable discussion about pillow humping." -Tinker
Lives in a box mansion
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Two blondes are sitting on a porch at night and talking.
What's closer: the moon, or Florida?
Well that should be obvious. I mean, we can see the moon...
Super Tuff Pink Puff
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Why do you call an owl you dry off with after a bath?
Like, what?
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Your management course
Management Lessons
Lesson One
A crow was sitting on a tree doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow & asked him, "Can I also sit like you & do nothing all day long?" The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it. Management Lesson? To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
Lesson Two
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree. Management Lesson? Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
Lesson Three
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Management Lesson?
1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!
Here endeth your management course.
The master of Judging 64
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Not too sure about this bunny...
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Ask about my avatar for a chilling story
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Hey, could you tell me if my blinkers are working? Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no....
Doesn't know how to ride a bike D:
Gender: Female
Location: Where do you live, bub? On Mars?
Rank: Medium-in-training
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Super Ace Attorney
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Two blondes are sitting on a porch at night and talking.
What's closer: the moon, or Florida? Well that should be obvious. I mean, we can see the moon...Klavier died?
Death Note is awesome.
"No, this is a reasonable discussion about pillow humping." -Tinker
Super Tuff Pink Puff
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EDIT: Misclicked
Lives in a box mansion
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Two blondes are sitting on a porch at night and talking.
What's closer: the moon, or Florida? Well that should be obvious. I mean, we can see the moon...Klavier died?
In the one about the tracks.
pew pew pew, pal!
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One ... no, two! No, four! No, eight ...
and I refuse to tell any lawyer jokes because they're pretty mean xD;
Feed Godot, click on the image. xD;;
Yo Dawg!
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