Hi, this is GavinnerRock, a.k.a Gavvi, this is my first fanfic on CR, so enjoy! I will update when I get more chapters done, I've only done two so far I'll update eventually!
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Sleepover Fun
By GavinnerRock

Chapter 1
Miles Edgeworth walked around his bedroom, searching for his darn toothbrush. He was nine years old, in the fourth grade. His best friends were Larry Butz and Phoenix Wright. He mumbled and picked it up off of the corner of his bedroom. He packed his sleeping bag, toothbrush and toothpaste, pajamas, and popcorn to make while watching a movie. The trio were going to sleep over at Phoenix's house, and they were all excited. Miles packed his Nintendo 64 controller and he also packed Mario Kart 64. It was a multiplayer game, after all. He waited as his father grabbed a bagel and a thermos filled with coffee. "Come on Miles! Let's get moving, son." his father called as Miles ran to the door and rushed into the car. They drove to Phoenix's house, where Phoenix was waiting on his porch. He waved and ran up to Miles, with Larry running right behind him. Miles got out of the car, took his things, and put them where Phoenix pointed to put them.

"Hey Edgey! Glad you could make it, dude." Larry said, kicking a soccer ball around.

"Of course I could make it, Larry." Miles said, shaking his head. "So...what are we going to do now, Nick?" he asked Phoenix.

"Well, um...we could play soccer in my backyard." Phoenix said. "I have a big backyard, and two portable goals."

"Awesome! Okay dudes, I brought the soccer ball, so come on!" Larry cried, dropping the ball on the grass and looking at Phoenix and Miles. "Okay, Edgey dude, you can play goalie. Me and Nick will be forwards." Miles agreed and got into his goalie position. It's okay, just remember to block the ball! Larry started with the ball. He dribbled it around Phoenix, tapping it around him. He stepped up with his right foot and aimed right at Miles. Miles dove for the ball and just about caught it. Larry smiled and gave him a thumbs up. Miles grinned and booted the ball. Phoenix headbutted it as it came down to him, and it aimed perfectly right in the middle of Larry's net.

"Goal!" Phoenix cried as he ran up to Miles and high-fived him. He grinned in pride, while Larry stomped his foot and made an evil smile. He threw the ball in to himself, and started dribbling. Phoenix ran up to him and hopped to the left. Larry kicked the ball to the right, but Phoenix stole it and aimed at Larry's goal again. This time, Larry blocked it with his foot and made a wild kick right at Miles. He thought the ball was going right, so he dove to the right. But the ball circled around him and into the goal!

"Goal! Uh-huh, oh yeah, I'm the best, got you good, huh, Edgey?" Larry cried as he pumped his fist in the air and laughed at Phoenix and Miles. Phoenix gave him a glare and motioned his head toward the little gate that led to a pond and grinned. Miles grinned and threw the ball towards the gate. Of course, Larry ran wildly after the ball. He ran so fast he was a blur. However, Phoenix was already by the gate. He simply opened it and watched Larry trip over the ball and dive into the pond.

"Dude, that was awesome!" Phoenix cried, high-fiving Miles as he pointed and laughed at Larry. "Who's the laughing stock now, huh, Larry?"

Larry didn't reply as he ran around the side of the house to his bag. He ducked behind a wall as he took something out and crept back, being careful for Phoenix and Miles to not notice him.

"Ha ha! That was too funny!" Phoenix laughed, doubled over in laughter. Miles slapped his leg and laughed. Then, Larry appeared and just then, water squirted in their faces! "Wha-wha?" Phoenix and Miles cried as Larry laughed and tossed them both a Supersoaker. "Water fight!" Larry yelled as they all blasted each other with water. It was a battle royale- every man for himself. Phoenix ducked inside and garbage can and opened fire on Larry. "Dude, you're in a garbage can!" Larry cried, blasting Phoenix. "Yeah, but it's empty." Phoenix grinned as he turned to Miles and suddenly blasted him. Miles returned the favor and blasted him back. Just then, Larry gave Phoenix some kind of signal. Phoenix grinned and made a thumbs-up. He clambered out of the garbage can and opened fire on Miles. Larry did also, and the overpowering blast sent him towards the gate. Suddenly Miles knew what they were planning. He let them carry him to the edge, then he swiveled around and pushed them both into the pond! Miles doubled over in laughter and helped Phoenix out of the pond. Then, when Phoenix was behind Miles, he pushed him into the pond! Miles squirmed, struggling to breathe. Then, Larry dove back into the water and grabbed Miles, pulling him to shore with him. Then, when they both got out of the water, they laughed at Edgey. "Dude, you don't know how to swim?!" Larry cried, doubled over. Miles cringed, feeling his face getting hotter and hotter. It's okay, just calm down... Then Phoenix broke the laughter. "O-Okay, want to go inside? We have pizza, you know." he said, hurrying to the door. Larry and Miles followed him.

Chapter 2
Miles went upstairs to change into his emergency clothes, took specifically for this occasion. It was a black polo shirt and jeans. He wrapped his wet clothes in a towel and shoved it into his bag and raced downstairs, where Phoenix and Larry were already chowing down on Dominos pizza. "Hey Edgy. Wanf sumf pise?" Larry asked, with his mouth full. Phoenix pointed toward the box. There were two slices left. Two. They had eaten 4 slices each already?! Miles thought as he grabbed a paper place and napkin and heated up a cold pizza slice. He then ate slowly, enjoying it's warmth, it's cheese, it's soft gooeyness. Phoenix and Larry lapped up their pizzas like dogs; grabbing and stuffing their mouths full, grabbing and stuffing. Soon they were done, staring at Mile's second slice. Miles soon finished, wiped his face with his napkin, and threw out his paper plate and napkin. Miles turned and saw Phoenix and Larry bounding down the stairs to the basement. "Hey, wait up!" Miles said, following them.

When they got to the basement, Larry had a telephone in his hand and was dialing a number, while Phoenix was laughing. "What are we doing?" Miles asked Larry. "Duh, dude, we're making prank calls! Right now I'm calling our fat gym teacher." Suddenly, there was silence and the phone was ringing. Then a voice came from the other end. "Hello?" it croaked.

Larry made his voice deep and said, "Hello sir, have you requested 10,000 pizzas that were all pepper, cheese with mayonaise on top?" Phoenix clutched his stomach and stuffed his face in a pillow. Miles just sat there, wondering why Larry would say pepper, cheese and mayonaise on top. There was no such topping! But it was a prank call, after all. He sighed and flopped onto his stomach.

"Why, I reckon ordering five large, but never 10,000! You must have gotten my order wrong! Hey, if it's one of you kids pulling a prank, I-" he was stopped midsentence by Larry.

"BYE, FATTY! GOOD LUCK LOSING 100 POUNDS!" Larry yelled and hung up, laughing so hard he was almost crying. Phoenix was laughing so hard he was crying, and Miles let out a fit of giggles. Then Phoenix turned to the phone book. "Let's see...how about Kate?" he said. Kate was a girl in their classroom who wore glasses, had buck teeth, freckles, braces, and snorted when she laughed. "Why Kate?" Larry asked. "Okay then." he began dialing her number. Seconds later, Kate responded. "Hello?" she replied.

"Hi Kate, it's me, uh..." Larry thought for a moment. "It's me, Miles Edgeworth." he said, deeping his voice to match Edgeworth's.

"What?!" Miles managed to cry out, but Phoenix taped his mouth with duct tape before he could say anything more.

"Miles? Why are you calling me?" Kate asked.

"BECAUSE I...UH...I LOVE YOU AND WANT TO MARRY YOU!" Larry yelled and hung up. Phoenix ripped off Mile's duct tape. Miles jumped up and grabbed Larry's neck and began to strangle him. Phoenix eventually tore Mile's hands from Larry's neck and gave Miles the phone. "Now you call someone." he said, passing him the phone book. Miles grinned and knew exactly what he was going to do. Miles called the principal, who was an oldbag who ranted whenever she got the chance, but no-one dared to say it. Miles then heard a voice on the other end. "Hello?" it was the principal.

"Hello, this is Larry Butz, miss." Miles said, trying to match his voice to Larry's. Phoenix almost died laughing in a pillow, and Larry looked sad and punched a pillow. Then he jumped and wrestled Miles for the phone. But Miles managed to wrestle it away. "Um, what is it, Larry? I haven't got all day." the principal said, growing impatient.

"I just wanted to ask something...will you marry me?" Miles said. Phoenix laughed so hard he had started to cry, and Larry punched Miles and punched the wall, making a little dent. Phoenix taped Larry to the couch, so he couldn't move.

"Larry, I hope this isn't your idea of a joke. Besides, you are only nine years old. This is a prank call, isn't it? If it is, I'm going to have to-" she never got to finish.

"I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART FOR ETERNITY, MY LOVE!" Miles shouted and hung up. Phoenix fell off the couch from laughter. "Oh my goodness, Miles, I almost died." Phoenix choked out, laughing so hard. Larry ripped off the tape holding him and pushed Miles to the ground. "I'M GONNA KILL YOU, EDGEY!" he yelled as he punched Edgey and began wrestling him. "Guys! Don't! My parents will be back soo-" Phoenix didn't finish what he was going to say because he heard the click of the door opening. "Quick! Stop! Get on the couch and pretend to watch TV!" Phoenix whispered, switching the TV on to SpongeBob, while Larry eventually grabbed Miles and ran to the couch and slammed him down, then plopped on the couch himself. Then Phoenix's mother appeared on the steps. "Hi boys. Are you having fun?" she asked.
"Yes, Mom." Phoenix said, grinning.
"Yes, Mrs.Wright." Larry and Miles said together.
"Good. I'll be upstairs. You boys be good down here, okay? By the way Phoenix, we're leaving to the arcade in a few minutes, be prepared." Phoenix's mom said as she hustled back upstairs.

Phoenix wiped his forehead in relief and then bounded upstairs, Miles and Larry following him.

Chapter 3
Miles, Phoenix and Larry were in the car in two seconds. They went to a place called "Penny's Arcade". When they went inside, everything was mirrors, light beams from the ceiling in red, green and purple, and game booths. "Cool!" all three of them said at the exact same time. Larry ran towards a game called "Pac-Man" but then he bumped a mirror and fell on the floor! "What the-" Larry said as he pounded the glass. "Larry, stop! It's right there." Miles said, dragging him towards the booth on the right of him. "Gee, thanks Edgey!" Larry said, inserting his quarter and booting up the game. Typical Larry, Miles thought as he went towards a game called " Drag 'Em All" which was a puzzle game where you had to herd specific blocks into their stations. It was pretty hard, and the blocks appeared fast. Phoenix went to a game called "Mission 24" which he had to be a solider and rescue people part of his country and make the enimies go back to where they came from. Miles shook his head at the shooting and violence. Bad examples for young kids. Not like us, but five years and younger, Miles thought. He kept playing until an echo sounded throught the room.

"CURSES!" a voice yelled, which belonged to none other than Larry Butz. He stamped his foot and fell to the floor, clutching his other foot in pain. Phoenix and Miles rushed to him, signaling Phoenix's parents over.

"Larry, what happened?" Phoenix asked, looking at him with worry in his eyes.

"I accidentally kicked the machine cause I lost, and then I tripped over someone's leg, and I fell and my leg is in incredible pain, dude." Larry said, clutching his foot.

"Stand back! I know what to do in this situation." Miles said, proud for actually paying attention in his First Aid lessons by a tutor. He pulled out a Mini First-Aid kit and pulled off Larry's shoes and socks. He took a look at his leg. "Pretty swollen." he said, dabbing some sort of liquid on it, then wrapping it in bandages. Then he pulled Larry up and helped him walk towards the enterance.

"Sheez Edgey, you sure know what to do in a emergency." Larry said, grinning a giving Miles a thumbs-up. The trio went to the car and drove back to Phoenix's house, while Mrs.Wright asked questions the whole way. When they got to Phoenix's house, they went down to the basement again and Phoenix booted up his computer. "Let's look at websites and post funny stuff." he said, grinning as he found the school's website.The school had a comment link where you could post comments about the school. Phoenix grinned and turned to Miles and Larry. "Okay guys, what should we say?" he asked. Larry made all sorts of rude suggestions, like, "The cafeteria stinks so much, I think you keep dead skunks in there!" or "Mr.Hughs (gym teacher) smells so much, he rolls into a mud pond and calls that a bath!" Miles looked disgusted with him. I mean, sure, I acted childish before, but this is way immature! "Guys, don't do this." he warned, but Phoenix began typing and already posted a comment. It read:

Mr.Dobson is so ugly, he might as well discover the science of why human beings don't die upon seeing him!
Melvin is so nerdy, he brings spoons to the Super Bowl!
Mr.Hughes is so fat, he takes one step, and he accidently kills someone!

"Genuis!" Larry said, and he slapped Phoenix a high-five. Miles stared at the words and groaned. Could they be more immature? He decided to change the subject. "Hey guys, let's play some N64." Miles said, running upstairs and grabbing his Mario Kart 64 and his N64 controller. Phoenix plugged in the game and turned on the system, and Phoenix had two controllers, one he took for himself and the other for Larry to use. The race was on! When they got asked to pick their characters, Phoenix chose a guy in a red hat and blue overalls. Larry chose a guy with a green nose and a dinosaur body. Miles chose his lucky character, a guy in a green hat with blue overalls. "Oh yeah, Edgey picked Luigi again!" Larry called out, slapping him on the back. Miles cringed and stared at the screen, while Phoenix picked the track. "How about...Mario Raceway?" Phoenix asked, grinning. When they started, Phoenix was in the lead, Larry in second, and Miles last. Of course, Miles thought as he grabbed a Item Box. He got a Mushroom! Miles quickly pressed the Z button and gave himself a big boost, going right past Larry and neck-and-neck with Phoenix. "Hey!" Phoenix cried as he grabbed a Item Box, and got a Banana. He put it behind him, but Miles dodged it and nabbed a Red Shell. Phoenix gasped and cried out. Miles threw the shell at Phoenix, and Phoenix got hit! While he was spinning out of control, Miles pulled away and into the lead! Miles grinned and laughed at Phoenix as he sped away from the others. In the end, Miles won, Phoenix in second, and Larry last. Larry threw his controller down and shouted before he calmed down. Phoenix grinned and picked a hard course-Bowser's Castle. At the start, Miles got a boost, and Phoenix was right behind him. As they all entered the castle, Miles grabbed a Green Shell and saved it for later. Phoenix laughed when he got a Red Shell and hurled it at Miles, willing to let him know just who was going to win. But Miles had mastered a trick-he simply held the Z button to hold the Green Shell there, behind his cart, and when the Red Shell came, the shell ran into the green one and smashed; causing no damage to Mile's cart. Miles grinned and stuck his tongue out at Phoenix, and that made Phoenix really mad. All Phoenix and Larry cared about was destroying each other; they forgot about Larry, who was really behind, since he got squished by a Thwomp. Miles and Phoenix beat each other with items, and it was the last lap. Fingers jabbed on buttons, palms got sweaty, faces began sweating. Miles wiped his brow this his sleeve and tried to push Phoenix out of the way with his cart, only to find that Phoenix had a Green Shell handy. Luckily, Miles also had a Banana, and he got it out just in time. Miles grinned and continued racing, while Phoenix managed to catch up and the duo were neck and neck. Then Miles saw it. The finish line! Phoenix saw it too, and they both began holding A with all of their strength. Just when one of them was about to cross the finish line, ZAP! Suddenly, Mile's and Phoenix's characters were shrunk! "Yahoo!" Larry yelled as he crossed the finish line cheering. Phoenix and Miles both crossed at the exact same time, even though the game counted Miles being one millisecond earlier. They both glared at Larry. "What? It's not my fault I'm a geeeeeenuis~" he sang, pinching the two of them and laughing. Then, Phoenix winked at Miles, and Miles winked at Larry, even though he knew this was going to be childish. The two of them picked Larry up, carried him outside, opened the gate, and dumped Larry into the pond.
UPDATE: CHAPTER 3 ADDED.

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Last edited by GavinnerRock on Tue Jul 29, 2008 9:50 pm, edited 2 times in total.

It's cute. Friendship stories are so rare that it always makes me particularly happy when I see one and these three make adorable little kids. Overall, you seem to be off to a good start. The plot is entertaining and the characters are handled pretty well, although I think Edgeworth is behaving a bit immaturely. Yes, I know he's young here, but Larry goes so far as to say he was always a bit of a stick in the mud even as a child. As a result, I think he would probably protest a bit more before caving to his friends. Anyway, there are some grammar issues, but really nothing so bad as to interfere with the story. The only thing that really stood out to me as being severely noticeable is some of the repetition in the story. I'm not sure I phrased that well...

For example, you wrote "He was nine years old, in the fourth grade. His best friends were Larry Butz and Phoenix Wright. He mumbled and picked it up off of the corner of his bedroom. He packed his sleeping bag, toothbrush and toothpaste, pajamas, and popcorn to make while watching a movie."

There are simply too many He's used in close succession and it leads to the writing becoming too uniform. You do this a few times in the story. Try switching up your writing style a bit and adding a bit more variety. Okay, I'll stop now. Don't let my criticism fool you. It's a good story. :) I'm just trying to help.

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You did help, Mia. Thanks so much!!!

Yes, I tend to use "he" a lot. I have no idea why, but now I see it is tending to be overused quite a lot.
Yes, Miles does tend to behave more immature then he would have been XD

It's okay, I love when people give me pointers to be a better writer. Thanks so much!!

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Once again, it's cute. :) I'm pleased that you don't mind constructive criticism as I always feel bad when I have to say anything negative even if I'm doing so with good intentions.

Moving on, I realize that there is something else that I should have mentioned last time as well. Since the issue reappeared in chapter three, I'll mention it now. New paragraphs are needed every time the topic changes or when the speaker changes. For example, you wrote...

Miles, Phoenix and Larry were in the car in two seconds. They went to a place called "Penny's Arcade". When they went inside, everything was mirrors, light beams from the ceiling in red, green and purple, and game booths. "Cool!" all three of them said at the exact same time. Larry ran towards a game called "Pac-Man" but then he bumped a mirror and fell on the floor! "What the-" Larry said as he pounded the glass. "Larry, stop! It's right there." Miles said, dragging him towards the booth on the right of him. "Gee, thanks Edgey!" Larry said, inserting his quarter and booting up the game. Typical Larry, Miles thought as he went towards a game called " Drag 'Em All" which was a puzzle game where you had to herd specific blocks into their stations. It was pretty hard, and the blocks appeared fast. Phoenix went to a game called "Mission 24" which he had to be a solider and rescue people part of his country and make the enimies go back to where they came from. Miles shook his head at the shooting and violence. Bad examples for young kids. Not like us, but five years and younger, Miles thought. He kept playing until an echo sounded throught the room.

In your story, this all appears as one paragraph, but the topic changes as does the speaker a few times. A better divide might be...

Miles, Phoenix and Larry were in the car in two seconds. They went to a place called "Penny's Arcade". When they went inside, everything was mirrors, light beams from the ceiling in red, green and purple, and game booths. "Cool!" all three of them said at the exact same time. Larry ran towards a game called "Pac-Man" but then he bumped a mirror and fell on the floor!
(Reason is that you have a speaker now separate from your set up)

"What the-" Larry said as he pounded the glass.
(Reason is the speaker change)

"Larry, stop! It's right there." Miles said, dragging him towards the booth on the right of him.
(Reason is speaker change)

"Gee, thanks Edgey!" Larry said, inserting his quarter and booting up the game.
(Reason is topic and speaker change. Even if it's just his thoughts, you've changed characters here, so the paragraph must change as well)

Typical Larry, Miles thought as he went towards a game called " Drag 'Em All" which was a puzzle game where you had to herd specific blocks into their stations. It was pretty hard, and the blocks appeared fast. (Add "He noticed that" to this and it can remain a single paragraph) Phoenix went (change want to "had gone" or something similar so that the new beginning of the sentence makes sense) to a game called "Mission 24" which he had to be a solider and rescue people part of his country and make the enimies go back to where they came from. Miles shook his head at the shooting and violence. Bad examples for young kids. Not like us, but five years and younger, Miles thought. He kept playing until an echo sounded throught the room.


... I'll stop being annoying now. Nice work.

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I love it, Gav! So sweet and innocent...

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Thanks, shojo and Mia. I appreciate it. :D

Thanks for the pointers, Mia. Oh, I never knew that, so thanks for pointing that out! :DDDD

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Aww that is just an adorable story

I like that, for a change someone's actually posted a story about friendship rather than romance

Please keep writing!

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Aww this is so cute! Yay friendship stories rule, I love them!

Keep up the good work, is chapter three the end?

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Nope, of course I'm writing more! It's nighttime now, that's why I can't update now, and I've been out all day

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