Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
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Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Phff, You call this a Zombie apocalypse?
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Gyakuten Phoenix wrote:
Mr. H: "Out of all the millions of sperm cells, you were the fastest?"
Said to this stupid dude Zach after he asked if our Communications Technology class was going to Russia.
Said to this stupid dude Zach after he asked if our Communications Technology class was going to Russia.
XD
Thats one of the best insults ever! XD
Gyakuten Phoenix wrote:
Yeah, well maybe if I wasn't so much better than everyone else, I wouldn't have to talk about it so much.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Erm... I plead the fifth?
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Bad Player wrote:
...Who sends a kid to the principal's office for objecting? ._. Although your principal doesn't seem that bad, if he actually said "Blah blah blah" xD
yeah my spanish and science teachers are really strict XD
I've been to the principal's office like, ten times for objecting, though, so he's just like, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, we've been through this before." XD
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Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Where's Pikachu? ...I mean Wally!
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-Teacher
-Friend of mine1
-Friend of mine2 (she's not a bitch, she just has red hair.)French class:
-And so in your pharagraph you should use verbs to describe the town in which we live.for instance-
Cannock est petit et sale
-What does that mean miss? -Cannock is small and dirty- Ahh like you !So I'm guessing you probably had to be there to find this as funny as I did...and it was more friend who made it funny that the teacher...Cannock is small and dirty though...
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Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
To Remain Simple Inside
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*In the middle of a class about the Inca civilization*
Cacá (his name) :...Then the man would walk with the Llama by his side, both of them having a little chit-chat on the mountains. After a while, he would look at the Llama´s eyes, she would look back, and there would be that romantic atmosphere, and...
Class: o.o
Cacá: What the hell are you looking at? You all freaking know what I´m talking about! It always happens with your physics teacher. When he goes to the ranch, his goat is always like "BEEEE OH MY GOSH I MISSED YOU MY LOVE BEEEE"
Class: O.O
Cacá: U-hum. Well, moving on...
Sorry for possible grammar mistakes. My english is not very good, ya know.
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Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
lol boobs.
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HerGoldenEyes wrote:
Cacá (his name) :...Then the man would walk with the Llama by his side, both of them having a little chit-chat on the mountains. After a while, he would look at the Llama´s eyes, she would look back, and there would be that romantic atmosphere, and...
What if the lama was .. MALE?!
"also you meant: Are you from Germany, sorry on the one hand I am not sure about English grammar on the other hand I am a grammar nazi" - Coffee Prosecutor
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
To Remain Simple Inside
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Sorry for possible grammar mistakes. My english is not very good, ya know.
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Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
:)
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XD and Minge here can be a slang word for genatalia or pubes and coming from a religious teacher it was funny.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Sig made by Vicki, Avi made by PA :D
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(sociology prof) Really, just tell me to shut up once in a while, I'm a fucking blowhard.And here's another one: So we had a visiting Classics professor from England teach at the college for one year. I didn't take this class, but a few people were talking about this incident in my Social Psychology class (it seems this visiting prof was somewhat sheltered):
= Classics prof
= student = rest of the class So what did you guys think of Oedipus? I thought he was a douchebag....
...I'm sorry, I don't know what that means. What exactly is a douchebag? (incredibly awkward silence)Nobody explained what a douchebag was and the class shortly resumed after the awkwardness had passed. And after this story was told in my social psych class, here's what happened:
= student = Psychology prof It was kinda funny b/c she has an English accent, so when she said 'douchebag', it sounded really elegant. (in a fake English accent) Well, if we all speak in an English accent, even words like 'douchebag' will sound fancy... Not as funny as my other ones, but thought they were worth mentioning.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Give her the dick.
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>_>
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Sig made by Vicki, Avi made by PA :D
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"Don't you know your chemistry by now? Speed is only good for math, not for writing." I loled.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Proud PxM shipper.
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Click sig to go to my sig thread. If you would like one, you may request. Devoted Phoenix and Maya shipper. Also a Diego and Mia shipper.My fanfic thread. Law, Lust, and Coffee currently ongoing (Miego).
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Snake? SNAAAAAKE!
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"Don't see it. I could tell you the plot right now. Men drive fast cars. Sexy women like men who drive fast cars. Fast cars explode. Men drive more fast cars."
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Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Mr. Step-ladder
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My drama teacher once shouted out: Finally I've penetrated to the back of the room!
And of course, the immature guys [My buddies] we are, we laughed our heads off.
Then there's my Spanish teacher, who called us bitches for always insulting each other...
Always strive to improve, not compare to others! - Arkillian
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Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
No avi/sig ideas, deal with Koharu.
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I dunno we all found it pretty funny because when he previewed the video, that one song "I'm Yours" or whatever started playing as Josh Is Ugly was across the screen.
Formerly known as ScentOfFreshLemon
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Jury Duty
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The one at the top of my list right now belongs to one of my current students. Every morning when he comes in and every afternoon before he goes home he says to me "Why you don't care about nothin'?" or "You Don't care about nothin'!"
The first time he said that I laughed out loud, said "I'm sorry you feel that way.", corrected his choice of grammar and then gave him extra homework =D
The catchphrase stuck and now I say something if he doesn't say it XD
Phoenix Wright! Miles Edgeworth!
*Slams Desk, then Points*
I CHOOSE YOU!
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I CHOOSE YOU!
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Oh yeah.
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In highschool, one of my teachers was out for a day, and one of the kids asked why he was absent.
His response: "None of your damn business!"
: Mai Boi, this evidence is what all true lawyers strive for!: I just wonder what Edgeworth is up to.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
アルステア / Аластер / Άλαστερ
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My US Hist. teacher. I swear his hair is shaped just like Phoenix's.
Girl in class
My friend "Americans had a clear enemy: Hitler, because he was PURE EVIL. Who can compare to PURE EVIL? Saddam Hussein? Maybe according to some of the media." "Voldemort" "I'm sorry. I don't listen to hip-hop." I don't think we ever had a war against Voldemort.(Different Day, same class)
"...and they were considered the GREATEST GENERATION. My generation is Generation X, the generation that doesn't give a crap. You guys are supposed to be the next GREATEST GENERATION."
(Other kid in class) "Hannah Montana's holding us back."(Another Day, same class)
"...and so the first American suburbs were created. There you could play frisbee with your dog, raise 2.5 kids with your loving wife, slit your wrists."(class): O_O
While discussing the baby boomers:
"Alright, we're going to have more SEX! Babies are a consequence of that, by the way."
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
欣赏 自然界 美丽
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Mr.T: "Oh my gosh! This is so easy!"
Class: "No! You say OMG."
Mr.T: "OMG! This is so easy!"
---------------------------------------------
Another teacher:
Classmate: "There's a ladybug on my desk, Mr. A. It's probably because I attract the ladies."
Mr. A: "Thats probably the only lady that would get close to you."
My English teacher is sooo funny, but I don't remember an quotes =\
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Amazingly.
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Fifth grade teacher: As a matter of fart...
Teacher aide: (In fifth grade during spelling) Rowboat, (Actually supposed to be robot) the rowboat washed the dishes.Then there is my current Social Studies teacher, who is British, and about the cutest (in his demeanor) teacher ever! There are so many great quotes of his, for example;
In our class, we were learning about the Lend Lease Act, so he asked to borrow some gum from one of my classmates and made like a mini demonstration. The next day, he had saved up all the gum and showed it to us. He said he was going to shove all that gum into his mouth then;
The teacher: (Not exactly accurate) Do you triple dog dare me, do you, well meet me by the bike racks after school (It's much more funny when you hear it in his British accent.)
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
ハナ
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- Total badass - My maths teacher For every hour of homework you haven't done it's an after school detention. Well I might not turn up to them then. You will be doing your after school detentions. I won't. Bad times innit? *storms out the room* Well, she's a nice girl isn't she?一御美丽 wrote:
One time my math teacher said about the math we were learning:
Mr.T: "Oh my gosh! This is so easy!"
Class: "No! You say OMG."
Mr.T: "OMG! This is so easy!"
Mr.T: "Oh my gosh! This is so easy!"
Class: "No! You say OMG."
Mr.T: "OMG! This is so easy!"
Mr T is your maths teacher?! OMG indeed.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Experimental Hydroxyacelunodosetrase
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Mr.S: 'what about earth day, cutie?' who sent you this melissa?
Melissa: No one...
Mr.S: Obviously someone sent it to you!
---random conversation including the teacher texting the guy texting melissa---
-------------
My biology teacher had a ton of fish in her room, and two frogs.
She lets the students feed them, but they don't remember all the time.
There are only 2 fish left in the room. We started with two frogs, and 8 fish.
Ms. Silva: Oh children. the frogs just died, and the AP bio class decided that they are going to extract the skeleton from the tank and make it a pet.
and then on occasion:
Ms. Silva: Stop your talking! All you do is pshhdshashfdhfjdjdfhdfh shfjshdfjgjfdfseiridfidjfsfs (Quoted directly)
She even does the hand motions like people talking.
---------
My Acidemically talented math teacher last year walked to an empty corner of the room, waved her arms about and screamed,
Ms. Benson: I FEEL A PRESENCE HERE!
yeah....
Carly. 19. Ravenclaw. Hell's Belle.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Experimental Hydroxyacelunodosetrase
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My french teacher in 6th grade would randomly burst out in sentances 'Yippey skippy!'
French teacher Me Yes carly, poisson is the french word for fish. Oh Yippey Skippy! ....Okay?and.... I find it hilarious when teachers make innuendos that they don't realize are innuendos.
Sister's teacher
girl
boy Jane, Jake, why don't you go do it on the board O.o ummmm *snickers* No Jane, you can go Do it Yourself I don't want a part of thator...
math teacher no! YOU ALL NEED TO DO THIS RIGHT NOW! I don't care if you need to use the bathroom, you really need to do this now!and more from my english teacher
(talking to a girl who can speak spanish) No, you do say things backwards in spanish,, you can't just say 'the red sweater' you have to say, 'the sweater of the colour red'
Carly. 19. Ravenclaw. Hell's Belle.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
#1 DBZ fan.
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*********
Teacher: Girls, I wanted to teach you a *lesson* but I'm scared
(me) : ..Why?
Teacher:...Maybe you girls will not understand....
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Anything from the shop? Cornetto.
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Why must you insist on killing my mother over and over again? ~Irving Onegin
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
1000% Knight
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First, at the beginning of class there were a bunch of kids right outside our room going like, "Hey, do you have class now?" "No! Do you?" "Nope!" "Hey, do you two have class now?" "No! What about you?". So our teacher walked outside and said (in a slow-yet-very-threatening way) "You may not have class, but other people do." And when she walked into our classroom she said, "They're just lucky they weren't closer."
Later, the teacher in the classroom next to us started playing a movie really loud, so we could hear it. Our teacher says, "Oh yeah?", goes to her computer, gets onto youtube, and blasts a music video on her computer.
The best part about all of this? We were having a test
(best test eva!)
Credit to Evolina for the sig+avatar!
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
The cape is self-fluttering
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"Do you all... fart?"
"Descole? You don't mean Mr. I-Like-to-Wreck-Things-with-Mechanical-Monsters-and-Dress-Up-as-Posh-Ladies Descole?" -Emmy Altava
...NAILED IT
...NAILED IT
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Experimental Hydroxyacelunodosetrase
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That ****ing alarm inturrupting my ****ing class. that son of a ***** principal's going to hear about this! Moar munchkins plz?Yes, the fire alarm went off while she was teaching, and passing out munchkins
Carly. 19. Ravenclaw. Hell's Belle.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Moving on up!
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Bad Player wrote:
Later, the teacher in the classroom next to us started playing a movie really loud, so we could hear it. Our teacher says, "Oh yeah?", goes to her computer, gets onto youtube, and blasts a music video on her computer.
The best part about all of this? We were having a test
(best test eva!)
The best part about all of this? We were having a test
(best test eva!)
I wish youtube worked on our school computers.
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Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
That was objectionable!
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"Don't get down on yourself if you don't pass your certification exam. You just need someone to stroke your ego for you. So just come into my office and I'll stroke your ego for you and get it right back up."
HINT:
She REALLY didn't think about how to word that properly...
<--- Friend me!
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
1000% Knight
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Lunaria42 wrote:
Bad Player wrote:
Later, the teacher in the classroom next to us started playing a movie really loud, so we could hear it. Our teacher says, "Oh yeah?", goes to her computer, gets onto youtube, and blasts a music video on her computer.
The best part about all of this? We were having a test
(best test eva!)
The best part about all of this? We were having a test
(best test eva!)
I wish youtube worked on our school computers.
Well, about half of the internets are blocked for students, youtube among them, but teachers don't have any restrictions so they can go on youtube.
Credit to Evolina for the sig+avatar!
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Experimental Hydroxyacelunodosetrase
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- My bio teacher Pollen is just Plant Sperm!And she said it with a strait face too.
Carly. 19. Ravenclaw. Hell's Belle.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Moving on up!
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Bad Player wrote:
Lunaria42 wrote:
Bad Player wrote:
Later, the teacher in the classroom next to us started playing a movie really loud, so we could hear it. Our teacher says, "Oh yeah?", goes to her computer, gets onto youtube, and blasts a music video on her computer.
The best part about all of this? We were having a test
(best test eva!)
The best part about all of this? We were having a test
(best test eva!)
I wish youtube worked on our school computers.
Well, about half of the internets are blocked for students, youtube among them, but teachers don't have any restrictions so they can go on youtube.
All the good sites are blocked on our teacher computers too. I already checked.
Thanks to Blinq for the awesome sig. Click the sig, see my stuff.
Edgeworth/Maya Community. A friends, as lovers, as part of OT3s. All Welcome.
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Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
That's my rule, pal.
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"A growing fetus's head is 50% larger than its body. In other words, it's twice as big."I'm pretty sure I was the only person to notice the teacher's mistake...
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Experimental Hydroxyacelunodosetrase
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history teacher student will they run around? Will they jump on the bed? Uh yeah, I don't think about other people 'jumping on their beds'then today, she had a vase of flowers, and she was explaining how it was teacher appriciation week. someone then commeneted on how they wished that someone would send them flowers
But these don't count. my husband gave me these, he's probably just trying to get lucky *Snickers* I didn't say that.....
Carly. 19. Ravenclaw. Hell's Belle.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Crime Scene Junkie
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undeadrhapsody wrote:
My AP Euro teacher when someone said they wanted to see Fast and Furious:
"Don't see it. I could tell you the plot right now. Men drive fast cars. Sexy women like men who drive fast cars. Fast cars explode. Men drive more fast cars."
"Don't see it. I could tell you the plot right now. Men drive fast cars. Sexy women like men who drive fast cars. Fast cars explode. Men drive more fast cars."
I must say, this is the funniest thing ive heard all day (Even if i have no interest in this movie at all. XD)
Phoenix and Maya Fan wrote:
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Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
The Missing Link
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Teacher: And the penis can enlarge to about twice its length once erected... GO BOYS!!
No, I am not joking or making this up
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Need a sig etc. Click the sig ^-~
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a boy in my class teacher Rest of class
Headteacher--
Miss I forgot my reading book what!? You forgot your reading book!? Do you have your English book umm... no Well then class what's his punishment? Umm, make him sing? Make him stand on the table and dance? Step on him?(we didn't think she really would but..)
Ok boy, stand on the table and sing ..... what!? Stand on the table and sing *stands on table* sing *sings* Read this *passes boy some paper with something she wrote on it* I am a foolish fool who foolishly forgot his reading book and English book. I must suffer my punishment and beg for forgivness. The teacher is amazing. *walks in* ...---------
And I didn't make any of that up, my teacher really made him do that and say those exact words xD
Thanks Christie so much for Pearl which I adopted from her :3 Yay Christie
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Tee Hee!~
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Rank: Desk Jockey
Joined: Wed Apr 22, 2009 12:21 pm
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Science teacher
KidIn Science class a bucktoothed kid likes to get smart with the teacher. He was talking back one day and...
"Shut up, Leave it to Beaver"! "Man, why you always picking on me man??"
"Im not a man. My hair may be short in the back, but in the front I got two big ones!!"The Rest of the Class:
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Badass Attorney
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Location: Michigan
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Joined: Wed Jan 21, 2009 4:02 am
Posts: 87
Mr. Nuzzo: Is that it?
Student: What?
Nuzzo: Which one is it?
Student: What are you talking about!?
Nuzzo: I thought you had A question, not twenty-five
The class burst into laughter, but it wasn't over yet
Student: I don't get it
Nuzzo: Then why don't you just ask me about it?
-----
Mr. Nuzzo was awesome, he always had some kind of unbelievably hilarious quip
WARGH!...dood
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