Phoenix was just coming downstairs to get a glass of water before going to bed, when he noticed that Maya was still on the computer; she’d been sat there for the past four hours, and seemed completely absorbed in whatever she was looking at.
“Maya? What are you up to?”
She didn’t react to his voice; it was as if she hadn’t even noticed that Phoenix was there.
“Maya! What the heck are you doing on that computer!?”
Finally, she seemed to realise that Phoenix was stood behind her.
“Huh? Oh, I found this website… and… it’s really creepy, Nick!” Maya looked genuinely worried.
Phoenix moved closer so that he could see what was on the computer screen. The web address said ‘www.court-records.net’, and in the middle of the screen was a huge picture of… him!?
“Wow, someone made a fan website for me?” he said, surprised, ‘I didn’t think I was that popular!”
“Well, that’s what I thought at first,” Maya said, “But then I took a look around the site, and, well… it’s just plain weird!”
“How d’you mean?”
“Take a look at this…” She clicked on a link saying ‘characters’, and a grid filled with faces popped up on the screen.
“Hey… that’s me! And Mia! And you, and Edgeworth, and Gumshoe, and-”
“Nick, everyone we’ve ever met on a case is on this screen! I don’t understand how they can know about all these people!”
Phoenix’s eyes widened as he looked at the many faces lined up across the screen; Maya was right, he’d met every single one of them.
“Maybe whoever made this website just knew a lot about our cases, Maya…” he said.
“But what’s really scary is how much they seem to know about you!” she said, clicking on the small image of Phoenix, “Read that!”
“Huh? What the…!? ‘He has a bit of a sarcastic side that he usually keeps to himself’… how do they know about that!?”
“And they also know all about that time when Larry stole Edgeworth’s lunch money, and the time you went out with Dahlia back in college – they even know her nickname for you!”
“D’you think… they’ve been spying on me?!” Phoenix gasped.
“Maybe… but the weirdest thing is, they seem to know personal details about everybody! Even me and Pearl and Mia and Edgeworth and Detective Gumshoe and Franziska and Godot and… basically everyone!”
Maya clicked through some more people, and, sure enough, every single detail was there. Whoever had created this website seemed to know everything; that Maya was a huge fan of ‘Steel Samurai’, that Gumshoe loved steak lunches, that Pearl’s nicknames were ‘Pearls’ and ‘Pearly’… it was as if someone had been watching Phoenix ever since he became a lawyer.
“Ok, this is just getting too weird, Maya… d’you think we should call the police?” Phoenix said, his face very pale.
“I don’t know if you can get people arrested for making a website about you…” said Maya, “Besides, we don’t even know who made this site, or why they made it, or how they know all these things…”
“Hmm, I suppose we don’t. Is there anything else on this website?”
“Sure, there’s tons of weird stuff about us. Look at this!”
Maya clicked on ‘timeline’, and a long list of events appeared on the screen. Phoenix began quickly reading down the list.
“2019… State vs Iris… that must be the trial I just finished.”
“Yeah, I know, but… just keep on reading, it gets seriously weird!” Maya pointed to one of the next dates on the list.
“April 29…” Phoenix murmured, “Well, that hasn’t even happened yet, it’s only April 23rd today… Huh? PHOENIX GETS DISBARRED!?”
“And the next one says ‘Trucy comes to live with Phoenix!’ Do you know anyone called Trucy, Nick?”
“No, I don’t! Surely this can’t be true, Maya… no one can see into the future! And why the hell would I get disbarred in six days time!?”
“I really don’t know,” Maya said, “Maybe it’s something to do with ‘April 23rd – Magnifi Grammarye dies’.”
“But I don’t know anyone called ‘Magnifi Grammarye’… do I?”
“Yes you do, he’s that famous magician!” Maya said, rolling her eyes at him.
“Oh yeah, I knew I’d heard that name somewhere!” said Phoenix, “But he’s not dead, as far as I know…”
Maya and Phoenix both turned to look at each other at the same time.
“Nick, turn on the TV! Now!”
With his hand shaking, Phoenix picked up the TV remote and turned it on. Surely it couldn’t be true…
“It has just been reported that the famous magician Magnifi Grammarye has been murdered at around 11pm this evening,” a news reporter was saying, “A suspect has been arrested…”
Phoenix turned off the TV, too freaked out to listen to any more.
“Alright, this is just getting way too scary… Maya, we’ve got to call the police!”
“Don’t be dumb, Nick! It’s already past midnight; the police won’t listen to us!”
“Yeah, I suppose you’re right, but we have to do something! Some kind of creepy person could be watching us right at this minute!”
“Maybe… we could call detective Gumshoe?” Maya suggested, “I bet he’s still awake, watching rubbish late-night TV shows or something!”
“OK, good idea! Can you go and call him? I feel too creeped-out to explain all this to him right now…” Phoenix said with a shudder.
“OK.” Maya picked up the phone book and found Gumshoe’s number, and then began dialling it into the telephone.
Phoenix sat down in front of the computer, and clicked on a button labelled ‘Fanworks’. A list appeared, and he clicked on ‘Fanart’. Pictures flashed up onto the screen; pictures of people he knew very well.
He scrolled down; there were lots of pictures of himself, wearing a strange hat and looking as though he hadn’t shaved in a while - that seemed pretty weird, since he always wore his blue suit and never, ever let himself grow stubble on his chin.
Even weirder, there were several pictures of him with people he’d never met before in his life - who on earth were these people? A girl in a blue top hat seemed to pop up quite a lot, and so did some guy with an odd spiky hairdo which looked slightly like devil horns. But why had somebody drawn him with complete strangers?
And then he recognised Ema in some of the pictures, but she looked kinda different, like she was older. And why were there pictures of her kissing a blonde guy in a purple jacket?
And what was most disturbed and frightening of all were the pictures of Phoenix and Edgeworth, doing things which Phoenix, had never, ever considered doing with Edgeworth, and really didn’t want to think about. This wasn’t just creepy, it was plain wrong – the sooner the police got involved, the better.
Maya suddenly interrupted Phoenix’s thoughts. “I called Gumshoe, he’s on his way over.”
“OK…” said Phoenix, still shaken up from the weird pictures he’d seen, “I… I just don’t get it. What kind of sick person would do this? Find out all these details about our private lives, predict stuff in our futures, draw pictures of us… and then post it on the internet!?”
“I really don’t know, Nick,” said Maya, “But hopefully Gumshoe can help. I know, I’ll channel sis! She might be able to help us!”
“Alright, we can see what she thinks of all this!” Phoenix said, hoping that Mia would have some idea what was going on – after all, Mia did seem to know pretty much everything.
“Hi, Phoenix – I haven’t seen you in a while,” Mia said, smiling, “So, what did Maya call me for this time?”
“Mia, you REALLY need to help us, this is so scary, I don’t know who did this, but…”
“Calm down, Phoenix! What on earth is going on?”
“Just see for yourself, Mia!” He moved aside, letting her have a clear view of the screen. She looked at the pictures, her smile turning into a frown.
‘You’re right, this IS very strange… do you know of anyone who might want to make a website about you? I’m sure it’s nothing to worry about…”
“Nothing to worry about!?” Phoenix exclaimed, “That’s easy for you to say, chief – you’re not the one with naked pictures of yourself and Edgeworth posted on the internet!”
“No, I guess not,” she said, “Can I take a look at the rest of this website?”
“Sure, go ahead…”
Mia took the mouse, and clicked on ‘cosplay’.
“Uhh… what’s cosplay?” Phoenix asked.
“Maya told me about it – it’s where fans dress up as characters from films or TV shows or video games that they like,” Mia explained. She gasped as photos appeared on the screen.
“Argh! T-there’s someone dressed up… as me!” Phoenix yelled.
“And me!” said Mia, “Urgh, what’s with the scary wig? I don’t look like THAT!”
“Whoa, does my hair really look so weird?” Phoenix said worriedly.
Mia glanced at him. “Actually, it does. Eww, is that supposed to be Diego? He looks awful!”
“See what I mean, Chief? Something really weird is going on with this website!”
“Hmm, maybe we can use these photos to track down whoever did this!” Mia said, “Have you called the police?”
“Gumshoe’s on his way,” Phoenix replied.
Just at that minute, the doorbell rang. Phoenix answered it, and in came Detective Gumshoe.
“Hey, pal! What’s up? Maya said something about a creepy website or something…”
Phoenix dragged him over to the computer, and Mia showed him the cosplay photos.
“Hey, that’s me! And that’s Mr Edgeworth and Miss Von Karma! When did you take these photos, pal?”
“We didn’t – these are people dressed up as us!” Phoenix said, “It’s really creepy!”
“Cool! I didn’t know people actually wanted to dress up as me!” said Gumshoe, “Did you know, I once dressed up as Yoda? My costume looked really great, except everyone said I was too tall, and then my Jedi robes split and I wasn’t wearing any underwear and-”
“Erm… that’s quite enough, detective,” Mia interrupted, “Look, somebody has made a website about us and our friends, and we don’t know who or why. Do you think you can help us?”
“I dunno, I’d better take a look…” Gumshoe pressed some random buttons and ended up with a large picture of Phoenix in bed with Edgeworth.
“Whoa! Pal, I didn’t know that you and Mr Edgeworth were-”
“We’re not!” Phoenix said hastily, “It’s just a picture somebody drew for some reason, and it definitely never happened!”
“OK, pal, if you say so…” Gumshoe clicked on some more links, “Aha, a forum! I joined a forum once, about Harry Potter! Harry and Hermione are my OTP, you know!”
“But that’s just silly – Hermione marries Ron in the last book!” said Mia.
“Huh? What’s an ‘OTP’? And Mia, have you seriously read all the ‘Harry Potter’ books!?” said Phoenix.
“Maybe, but that’s beside the point!” Mia said, “Let’s just look at this forum already!”
The three of them looked down the list of topics.
“Wow, sexiest woman from AA!” said Gumshoe, “I dunno what AA means, pal, but as long as it involve sexy women, I’m clicking on it!”
“Ahhh! Someone thinks I’M the sexiest woman!” said Mia, “What kind of sick person put THAT on the internet?”
“Well, Id sure put you as the sexiest woman, pal!” Gumshoe said. Mia shuffled across so that she was standing slightly further away from him.
“Quite a few people seem to like you when you were younger as well, Chief,” Phoenix said.
“B-but how do they know what I looked like when I was younger? Ew, people have put down Maya as well! I really don’t like the idea of people thinking about her in that way!”
“Just cos you think you’re sexier than her, pal!” Gumshoe laughed.
“Detective, I don’t think you’re taking this very seriously!” Mia snapped, “This is a huge invasion of our privacy! Can we please look at a different topic? This one is too disturbing!”
“OK, fine…” said Gumshoe, pressing the ‘back’ button, “Let’s see… ‘Phoenix and Maya fan club!”
“But I really don’t think of Maya in that way!” Phoenix said, “Oh, there’s one for me and Iris as well! Gosh, can’t these people make there minds up who they want me to go out with?”
“Ooh, look, a ‘Mia Fey Fanclub!’ Click on that one!” Mia said excitedly.
“NOW who’s not taking it seriously?” Phoenix mumbled.
“Wow, look what they all said about me! Adorable, hot, nice and helpful, a great attorney, sharp-witted, strong, charming, intelligent…” Mia said happily, “Hey – someone said my lipstick makes me look like an old widow! And… ‘Nice breasts’!? I don’t think that’s the right attitude!” She quickly glared at Gumshoe before he could say anything, and wrapped her spirit medium outfit a little more tightly around her chest.
“Hey pal, d’you think there’s a fan club for me?” said Gumshoe.
“Well, there’s one called ‘Does Gumshoe own a car’,” said Mia, “Let’s look at that one!”
She clicked on it, looking genuinely interested. Phoenix sighed; neither Mia nor Gumshoe seemed to care about the fact that some creep had made a forum about them any more.
“Hey, I DO own a car!” said Gumshoe, “And look, they’re not even talking about me for most of this topic – they’re talking about whether you ride a bike or not, pal!”
“Well, there’s nothing wrong with riding a bike everywhere,” said Phoenix sheepishly, “It’s much more environmentally friendly – hey, I though we were supposed to be finding out who made this weird website, not reading the forum!”
“Oh yeah, I forgot about that, pal!” Gumshoe said, “Alright, let’s look at some more topics!” Phoenix groaned; were they ever going to find anything out?
Gumshoe clicked on ‘Hazakurain (GS3)’, and a whole new list of topics appeared.
“Look!” Mia gasped, “It says ‘Diego and Mia: Tragic or TRAGIC?’! That’s so cool!”
“Mia, aren’t you at least slightly disturbed by the fact that someone made a thread about you and your boyfriend?” Phoenix said.
She completely ignored him, pushing Gumshoe out of the way to click on the link.
“WHAAAT? They drew PICTURES of us? That’s just… weird!” Mia gasped.
“See? Now you know how I felt seeing those pictures of me and Edgeworth – except it’s worse for me, cos those pictures were a lot more dodgy and I’M NOT EVEN GOING OUT WITH EDGEWORTH!!!”
“Calm down, pal!” said Gumshoe, “Actually, Ms Fey, some of these pictures are pretty cute! And they make you look really hot! Mind if I save some to my memory stick?”
“Sure, go ahead!” said Mia.
“Um… do you two even CARE about the invasion of our privacy anymore?” said Phoenix, only to be ignored again as Detective Gumshoe copied and pasted some of his favourite pictures of Mia and Diego.
“Ooh, I like this one!” said Mia, “I think I’ll set as your desktop background, OK Phoenix?”
“NO! I DO NOT want a picture of you snogging Diego as my desktop background!” Phoenix cried. It was too late; she’d already done it.
“So, let’s see if there are any more cool pictures, pal!”
“No! Please, no more pictures” Phoenix groaned. Neither of them listened.
“Here’s a fanart section!” said Mia, clicking on it.
“What, MORE fanart!?” said Phoenix.
“Woohoo, I love fanart!” said Gumshoe, “I dunno what it is – but I love it, pal!”
“Hey, look, it’s me holding Charley! That’s so cute!” Mia squealed.
“Hahaha, someone drew that Hairy Butz guy as a bottle of perfume!” laughed Gumshoe.
“Urgh, you two are really starting to enjoy this, aren’t you?” Phoenix sighed.
About half an hour later, Gumshoe had filled up his memory stick with pictures, and they’d moved onto the fanfiction section, while Phoenix sat on the desk chair, looking extremely bored.
Suddenly, the doorbell rang for the second time that night.
“I’ll get it!” said Phoenix quickly, eager to get away from Gumshoe and Mia, who were all a bit too excited about the whole forum thing.
To his surprise, he found Miles Edgeworth and Franziska Von Karma on his doorstep.
“Wright,” said Edgeworth, giving him a quick nod as a greeting, “We heard there was some sort of website. Mind if we come in?”
Franziska whipped Phoenix out of the way before he could answer, and the two of them walked on in to his house.
“Hmm, what foolish décor!” said Franziska, sneering at Phoenix’s old pink college jumper, which was hung on the wall.
“Well, this is Wright’s house,” said Edgeworth, “It’s bound to look ridiculous.”
“Hey, come on in you two!” said Gumshoe, leading them to sit around the computer. “You should read some of these fanfictions, they’re hilarious!”
Phoenix sighed and sat down on the sofa; this night was getting worse and worse. Several times he nodded off to sleep, only to be woken up by Mia crying over a sad story about her relationship with Diego, or Gumshoe laughing hysterically about a story where he was a lieutenant on Edgeworth’s ship and Mia was a pirate, or Franziska whipping the computer when she saw a story about herself falling in love with Edgeworth (which she said was ‘utterly foolish’), or Edgeworth talking about who this mysterious ‘Klavier’ person was who kept appearing in stories about Ema Skye.
“Wow! Somebody wrote a story all about me!” Mia giggled, “That’s so great! They should publish this as a novel, you know!”
Phoenix looked over and noticed that they’d gotten out a bottle of wine, and their cheeks all looked rather flushed.
“Oh look, somebody wrote a story set in a high school!” said Franziska, “Hmph, I feel ashamed to have been put in the same class as Maya Fey!”
“Well, you are the same age!” said Edgeworth, “Hmm, is this true? Phoenix Wright is completely obsessed with Mia Fey?”
“WHAAT!?” Phoenix cried, “Someone wrote a story about THAT!?”
“Hey, I’m not THAT bad, am I Phoenix?” said Mia, “You’ve got to admit that you fancy me a bit…”
“Mia, you’ve had too much to drink,” said Phoenix, “And anyway, shouldn’t you be heading back to the afterlife some time soon?”
“Hang on, I’m just reading this story…” she said, “Hahaha, this is crazy! It’s all about me having lots of plastic surgery!”
“Well, you must have had SOME surgery, right?” said Gumshoe.
“Actually, I’ll have you know, these are one hundred percent real!”
“SURE they are…” said Edgeworth.
“OK then, feel them if you don’t believe me…” Mia giggled.
At this, Phoenix had had enough. ‘Alright, Mia, time you left Maya’s body!” he instructed. Mia sighed and disappeared, leaving Maya in her place.
“Uhhh… I feel kinda… weird…” Maya groaned.
“Sorry Maya, I think your stupid sister got you drunk,” Phoenix explained.
“Cool!” said Maya, “So, did you guys find out who the creep is that made this website?”
“Huh? Creep?” said Gumshoe, “More like genius! I’d never be smart enough to make a website! Especially not a website as hilarious as this!”
“Well, I guess some of the stories ARE pretty funny!” Maya agreed, “And some are so sweet, like the ones about me and Nick!”
“Maya! Surely you don’t ENJOY reading stories about us falling in love!?” Phoenix said.
“Well, they’re pretty well-written stories, and I can’t argue with talent!”
“Oh, not you too, Maya… and I thought that maybe you actually cared about finding out who has been spying on us… I guess I’m the only sane person here…” Phoenix sighed, sitting down on the sofa once again.
He was still completely puzzled. Who on earth could have known enough above him and his friends to make a website about them? And why would they want to make it? And why had they allowed for so many stories to be written about himself and Maya?
In the background of the rowdy laughter from Maya, Gumshoe, Edgeworth, and Franziska, Phoenix could faintly hear soft footsteps on the stairs. Pearl! He had completely forgotten that she was staying over as well as Maya. It was surprising that she’d only just woken up, considering all the noise they’d been making.
“Pearls! Sorry, did this lot disturb you?” Phoenix said sympathetically, as Pearl sleepily rubbed her eyes.
“Um… it’s OK, I don’t mind being woken up as long as you and Mystic Maya are having fun…” she said, “Excuse me, but what are you all doing?”
“Ah, Pearly! Look at this, somebody made a website about us! Isn’t it cool? They even have a Pearl Fey fanclub!”
“Cool? More like creepy!” Phoenix butted in.
The tired look on Pearl’s face turned into a huge smile.
“Do you like it, Mystic Maya? I made this website especially for you and Mr Nick, to bring you two together, and I used Mr Nick’s case files to help me! Did you read the lovely stories about your love for each other?”
“PEARLS!? You made this website!?” Phoenix cried.
“Yes! But I had some help from Cody, since he knows about fansites – he made one about the Steel Samurai.’
"And what about the weird timeline predicting what would happen in the future!?" Phoenix demanded.
"Oh, that - I just sort of made up what might happen," said Pearl, "I thought it might make the website a bit more interesting."
“Oh, Pearly, you’re so clever!” Maya said proudly.
“I don’t believe this! All this time I thought that some creepy person had been spying on us… but it was Pearls all along!” Phoenix groaned.
“Well, since you’re having such fun, shall I channel Mystic Mia so that she can join in?” Pearl asked.
“Ok, Pearly, sounds great!” said Maya, “We can stay up all night!”
Phoenix felt like banging his head on the wall. ‘No way guys, shouldn’t we be getting some sleep? We can’t stay up all night look at a forum, that’s so geeky!”
“Foolish fool, unable to appreciate this little girl’s hard work!” said Franziska, whipping him, and patting Pearl on the head.
“You’re such a spoil-sport, Wright,” said Edgeworth.
“Come on, pal, this website is so hilarious!”
“Yeah, and there are some really cool stories, Nick!”
“There’s a Phoenix Wright fanclub too, you know!” said Mia, who was now being channelled.
“A… fanclub? For me?” Phoenix said, thinking for a moment, “Well, you know what they say… if you can’t beat them, join them!”
THE END