Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
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Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
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Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
earthlings on fire
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*cue many R rated answers*
Seriously, you don't ask teens that without expecting explicit answers.
...and there's fifteen feet of pure white snow
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Ace Fangirl
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Another one: My chemistry teacher was in a bad mood and going on a rant about how we don't listen. He told us to put our pens do so we would fully focus, and then literally 5 seconds later he told us to "write this down".
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Oh boy oh boy oh boy!
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Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
earthlings on fire
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Math Teacher: See class? I got my Wiimote attatched to my overhead projector, so it's like a smart board now! *pokes screen projected onto the whiteboard, clicking on a link*
Teacher again: But you have to make sure that your hand isn't in the way, or it doesn't work.
Me: What if you put your hand over a link and then click your hand?
Teacher: *tries it* *link works*
Teacher: WOW! It works! *gets all happy* Only you guys would think of that! *opens Microsoft Paint*
Classmate: Can we draw a mustache on Nick?
Teacher: OK!
Nick: *goes up to the front, laughing. Stands in front of whiteboard, so the screen is projected on him*
Teacher: *draws mustache*
Foolishness like this goes on for about 30 more minutes, and just when the bell is about to ring:
Teacher: Oh by the way, class, you have a test in two days.
Class: W.T.F.
...and there's fifteen feet of pure white snow
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
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one of the upper classed pointed out the pervertedness behind it
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
SMASHING DAY FOR A BARBEQUE.
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Art teacher
English teacher
substitute teacher. (In Italian accent) TODAY IS THE DAY!*Here comes all the jokes about Dolmio in the world.*
Ok, when we're making your clay gargoyles, make it as ugly as you like. Think Gordon brown just with pointy ears and sharp teeth. Wait...how do you spell 'bomb?' Welll, I spent all last night planning this lessson, thats how sad I am. You better stop playing with that ruler or i'll shove it somewhere you won't want it to be!
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Time for you to sleep.
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Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Call me Ishmael.
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Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Till the landslide brought me down...
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Class: *laughs*
substitute teacher:
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Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
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Sub: Hello there class, we have a new student today
Class: *chatters*
Sub: His name is Cucumber Pickles *points to himself and goes to sit on a student desk*
Sub: *marks roll* P- Cucumber Pickels!...
Class: *silent*
Sub: Oh wait! That's me! I'm here!
Teacher
Friend 1 ~~~ Come here! Yes miss? Is there anything in my eye??? *shows eye* ........ xD
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Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
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"Awwww, isn't that sweet? Yeah... I'd enjoy it more if I weren't so cynical."
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
rock on rebel warriors
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Spoiler:
I'm not sure what that was all about. And, yes, the scenes switched that suddenly.
alles ist scheisse
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Pretentious? Moi?
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Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
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Class: "NEEEEEEEEERD!"
Teacher: "Billy, that is B.S.!"
Me & Lola: "UMMMM."
Teacher: "Well I didn't say 'shit'!"
-Class is doing a test-
Teacher: "...You can kill a man with a biro."
Class: "...-put pens down and listen intently-"
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Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
earthlings on fire
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Science Teacher: "Gabe, do you really have to rub your butt on everything in my classroom?!"
...and there's fifteen feet of pure white snow
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Anything from the shop? Cornetto.
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GCMiekoV wrote:
This happened to my friend but she told me the story anyways xD
Sub: Hello there class, we have a new student today
Class: *chatters*
Sub: His name is Cucumber Pickles *points to himself and goes to sit on a student desk*
Sub: *marks roll* P- Cucumber Pickels!...
Class: *silent*
Sub: Oh wait! That's me! I'm here!
Teacher
Friend 1
~~~ Come here!
Yes miss?
Is there anything in my eye??? *shows eye*
........ xD
Sub: Hello there class, we have a new student today
Class: *chatters*
Sub: His name is Cucumber Pickles *points to himself and goes to sit on a student desk*
Sub: *marks roll* P- Cucumber Pickels!...
Class: *silent*
Sub: Oh wait! That's me! I'm here!
Teacher Friend 1 ~~~ Come here! Yes miss? Is there anything in my eye??? *shows eye* ........ xDRugrats reference FTW!
Why must you insist on killing my mother over and over again? ~Irving Onegin
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
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THOMASNATOR wrote:
GCMiekoV wrote:
This happened to my friend but she told me the story anyways xD
Sub: Hello there class, we have a new student today
Class: *chatters*
Sub: His name is Cucumber Pickles *points to himself and goes to sit on a student desk*
Sub: *marks roll* P- Cucumber Pickels!...
Class: *silent*
Sub: Oh wait! That's me! I'm here!
Teacher
Friend 1
~~~ Come here!
Yes miss?
Is there anything in my eye??? *shows eye*
........ xD
Sub: Hello there class, we have a new student today
Class: *chatters*
Sub: His name is Cucumber Pickles *points to himself and goes to sit on a student desk*
Sub: *marks roll* P- Cucumber Pickels!...
Class: *silent*
Sub: Oh wait! That's me! I'm here!
Teacher Friend 1 ~~~ Come here! Yes miss? Is there anything in my eye??? *shows eye* ........ xDRugrats reference FTW!
xD really? I just noticed that o-o
Back on topic: my primary school teacher talked about how her son got stressed and he have stress ball so whenever he gets angry he just squeeze it
She kept on talking about it and soon it sounded really wrong o-o
Made by me :D
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
What the Devil is going on here?
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teacher:...blah blah blah....and this lady has a body very much like my own..beautiful legs, pear shaped hips..
My friend made the funniest face of disgust when she said that.
The same teacher is wearing a jumper on a REALLY hot day. Everyone is begging her to take it off becuase shes making us hot just looking at her. At the end of the lesson everyone is walking out and im packing up my stuff.
Teacher: *Starts taking her jumper off*
me: are you finally getting hot miss
Teacher: no, i always was hot stuff..*winks at the old mand teacher standing next to her*
me: *tries to do the face my friend previously made*
~
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Till the landslide brought me down...
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Mr C(calling the roll)- Clarissa?
Me- Here
Mr C- Where?
Me- Here
Mr C-Clarissa?
Me- Over here
Mr C- Is Clarissa here today?
Me- yes, I'm here
Mr C- I'll just have to mark her absent
Me-
...Mr C- Oh there she is
Me- thankyou
he was only joking xD
Mr substitute- kate? what's your last name?
Kate- Ting
Mr substitute- TING TONG!!
everyone- o_o
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Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
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Me: *plays Pictochat with friends on DS during a school performance*
Teacher: *looks at me*
Me: *stops scribbling and looked at him*
Teacher: *Gives (my name) death stare*
Me: *Gives Death stare back*
(a couple of minutes later)
Teacher: *turns*
Me: Victory!!!! :D
Made by me :D
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Welcome have a :cookie: is TRADEMARED!
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My music teacher. She's so awesome
"If you don't all shut up i'll give you an ear raping of a liftime"
(About putting planners on the desk)
"Yes, because according to the head not having planners on your desk somehow stops you from learning" *Whispers* "Bollacks"
Spoiler: My old science and Maths teacher. I think that they he owned everyone in class.
Memories, Trials, Family the Fic into a comic.
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Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
[Words]
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I would've said the same thing as that kid. I don't watch football. My English teacher is pretty hilarious, I just can't seem to remember a thing she says.
Oh and technically this falls under funny things my teacher's said. was in Civics class a few days ago, and my teacher was telling me about this story that happened in the House of Commons:
There was a woman a few years back who switched from the Conservative part to the Liberal party, something that didn't happen very often. She was also in a relationship with a member of the Conservative Party, but that relationship ended when she moved to the other side. The man she was dating, heartbroken, went home and cried to his dog, depressed about how things had turned out. Of course, with him being in the public eye, pictures of this were taken and he became a laughing stock.
Kind of a sad story insofar, but things get better. A few weeks later, a debate was getting pretty heated at the House of Commons, and one of the Liberal party members stood up and addressed to the man who had been dumped "Why don't you just go home and cry to your dog?"
The man who had been dumped stood up and said "I can't, you have her now." (If you don't get who he's talking about, I can't help you)
The woman that had switched sides knew that he was referring to her, and needless to say, she was shocked.
The man would later refuse to admit to what he'd said earlier.
Maybe not the funniest joke ever, but a pretty awesome diss.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
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He was explaining an ecosystem to us. I wrote down so many great quotes from it, but then I had to turn in the paper. ;A;
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Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
[Words]
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English Teacher: Put your phone away.
Boy: What? Miss, I'm not using my phone.
Teacher: Well, you can only be doing two things with your hands under your desk: using yor phone or playing with your tweedlee-dee. Either way, stop it.
Class: *laughs*
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
:)
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Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
[Words]
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Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
:)
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I love how the male college teachers are so relaxed. :P
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
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Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
rock on rebel warriors
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so, i got called to go down to the principal's office. i had been late a lot, so they gave me a detention.
principal: Here, have your parents sign this.
me: mhm.
i was probably making an "argh god dammit" face right then, (this would be my first detention.) suddenly, the principal said:
principal: What, are your parents going to beat you?
me: no.
(my sister: You should've said yes and started crying! ...wait, no, don't do that.)
I left to go back to class, and then I was like "Hey, wait a minute! What did he just say?" and spent the rest of the period feeling awkward. what kind of a joke was that?
alles ist scheisse
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
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Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Ace Fangirl
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http://www.somethingawful.com/d/comedy-goldmine/dumb-teacher-school.php
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
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RoundedEdge wrote:
I just found a whole webpage of these things...
http://www.somethingawful.com/d/comedy-goldmine/dumb-teacher-school.php
http://www.somethingawful.com/d/comedy-goldmine/dumb-teacher-school.php
Ha...! Those are great.
Well, I used to have a crazy music teacher. Like, crazy for real.
He used to say stuff like:
To the class, looking outside the window - "I see your dull heads trying desperately to escape from the depths of hell."
He also called us "charlatans" all the time.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
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My two classmates were sitting by the computer and laughing at some poorly taken "erotic" pictures of girls that are always displayed in a tabloid magazine, the girls are called something like "evening girls", the magazine's name being "Evening Magazine", roughly translated...
My teacher walks to the classroom to do some work, she was supposed to evaluate something and give grades and other important stuff, but she just stops behind my friends backs and goes:
Teacher: What on earth are you doing? o_o
Friend 1: We're looking at the Evening girls! ^^
Friend 2: Yeah, but 'Smile' has even better pics! *laughs*
They then changed the page and indeed, I have seen those pictures (they're always some Finnish little celebreties who are known for things like "Oooh, the prime minister was texting me.. xOO GASP") and they are just so... TACKY and cheap. My teacher was all shocked and she laughed and stared at the bikini "babes" with my classmates for who knows how long, when someone ran to the classroom and said:
Person: Tiina! You didn't do the evaluation just yet, did you? Am I late?! *all sad*
Teacher: Uh... N-no, I ran into some other business I had to attend to.
Friend 1: Yeah! She was looking at naked women with us!
Teacher: I-it wasn't like that! I-it was for educational purposes only!!
...All my teachers are so damn funny, but I just can't remember any quotes. :(
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Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
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Religion Teacher: Why aren't you paying attention! You know nothing about Protestants, what'll you ever do if you marry a Protestant man?...or a Protestant woman, you could be a lesbian for all I know.
Class:
I mean, I've nothing against gay people, it'd be slightly hypocritical if I did hate them (and I feel so strongly against homophobia anyway) but it was the way she said it, and when you have a look at my class, and see how immature they all are, then you'll know why it was the wrong thing to say in front of them.
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Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
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There was this kid whose voice hadn't broken yet so he had this really squeaky voice.
The teacher said"*insert name here* tell me who would you like to pray for?"
The kid said "I dont have anyone to pray for" then the teacher said "Fine then friends and family then?"
Then the kid said alright then Friends and family" in a really squeaky voice.
Everyone started to grin when the teacher yelled out in a really squeaky voice "FRIENDS AND FAMILY!!!!"
We all lol'ed
Also in science class when that kid was talking the teacher cut accross him and shouted "I'M A REAL BOY!"
Nothing.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
By Midnight Jasper! Much thanks!
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Mr. ____ (Math teacher) ...So, then, po should then equal...
Students: *Try to hold back laughing*
Mr. ____: What's so funny?
Students: (Something about po)
Mr. ____: Yeah, I know, it sounds like "peanut".
It was SO FUNNY at the time, but it doesn't really look too good on paper.
Context: My Physics teacher always addresses visitors the same way...he's collecting homework. and...
Mr. ______: Joe (not an actual member of my class)! Let's see your homework... *sees visitor* Oh Jesus, you're not Joe. Who the hell are you?
Supposedly some of the visitors in past years were too scared to speak. He didn't do it to me though.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
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Kid: Oh, but Miss, we hardly know each other!
Teacher: You wish we were doing that.
Class:
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Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
rock on rebel warriors
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teacher: Oh... I just had an image about tight suits.
me:?!
teacher: You guys probably don't watch the news, but... there's a new senator for massachusetts, and he's really cute. He used to be a model...
(rambles about how she thinks everyone voted for him because he's so hot)
Anyways... I just imagined him buying and trying on some new, tight suits.
oh my.
alles ist scheisse
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