[……………………]Maya: Aw, really? The narrator still isn't back?
Iris: I think you might have annoyed them too much last time, Maya.
Maya: What were we supposed to do?! Ignore their obvious prejudices?
Larry: No way, José! That's just no good. Right, Nick?
Phoenix: …
Edgeworth: Why is
he here? And why is he looking at me like that?
Maya: Probably because this version of Nick hasn't seen you in years.
Phoenix: R-really? So you are Edgeworth! I knew it! Where have you been all this time?!
Edgeworth: Management! Doesn't this violate canon in some way?
Maya: I don't think you'll get any acknowledgement from them anytime soon, Mr. Edgewo-
Speakers: Don't worry. We'll wipe away his memories of ever seeing you once this is over.Edgeworth: Ah, good to hear.
Phoenix: H-hey! That isn't fa-
Maya: WHAAAAT?!
Iris: Have you been here the whole time?
Speakers: Indeed we have. And we've been listening to everything you've been saying. And we have some things to tell you idiots.Larry: Is this about our pro-vampire merch?!
Edgeworth: …I was wondering about that, actually. Why are you wearing that obnoxious shirt, Larry? And Maya, what is with that outfit?
Larry: Hey, what's wrong with that, man? It's pretty catchy, you know. 'WE HUMANS ARE THE REAL SUCKERS', yeah?
Maya: And this is my vampire cosplay! Looks cool, right?
Edgeworth: That is a vampire? But it hardly even resembles o-
Phoenix: Come on, Edgeworth! Not everyone has to conform to your whims and fancies about what they
should look like! Vampires can dress up however they'd like to!
Speakers: Regardless, as one member of our management oh so eloquently opined, keep that *BLEEP* outta here, yo. So tone it down this time, alright?Maya: Is that why you didn't bring back Detective Gumshoe this time?
Speakers: What could we do? He was one of the major factors of this whole thing. And we'd be happy to remove even more of you if this continues.Phoenix: Whaaaaat?! But that isn't eve-
Speakers: Now, let us begin. Please take your seats, sporkers. We don't want to do anything too…drastic. [The lights turn off, and the sporkers begrudgingly sit down.]Quote:
Loving a Bloodsucker
Edgeworth: Ah, so is this what we're watching? What is this about, exactly?
Maya: Well, so basically, College Nick runs into Iris. The plot twist? She's a vampire!
Edgeworth: …What.
Phoenix: It's crazy, right? But it gets better! She has super strength too, and loves sucking my blood!
Edgeworth: How is that goo-
Larry: And then I come on the scene and ask for a little bit of her, yeah? She gives me the ol' bloody smooch, but it turns out that she doesn't even like my blood! What a load, man!
Iris: …Don't worry, Mr. Edgeworth. Despite what they're saying, you haven't missed out on much.
Edgeworth: In all honesty, I'd rather I miss more. As in everything.
Quote:
Chapter 3: Family of a Blood Sucker part 1
Maya: Whoa! This is a two-parter!
Phoenix: So are we getting the load on Iris's family now?
Quote:
Yay chapter three to story!
Edgeworth: *eye-twitch* This is the first sentence.
Iris: I think since it's in bold, it's supposed to be an author's note.
Edgeworth: That still does not excuse the terrible grammar exhibited in the
very first sentence of this thing!
Larry: Whoa, Edgey, save it. This is only the beginning, after all.
Edgeworth: …Yes, I suppose so. Something tells me there are far worse things to critique here.
Quote:
Phoenix was walking home from school to rest. It had been a long day and he was tired. While he was walking home he saw Iris dashing to him.
At first he thought she was going to suck his blood to he covered his neck excepting her to pounce on him.
Edgeworth: First off, use your commas. Secondly, it's 'expect', not 'except'.
Maya: Wow, Nick's already become paranoid of getting his blood sucked?
Phoenix: Well, I'm still a little surprised that I'm alive at this point. N-not that I mind!
Iris: …Why are you looking at me like that?
Quote:
"Hey good news!" she said smiling.
Phoenix slowly let his guard down. "So what is the good news?" he asked.
"My family is coming over! I told them a lot about you they want to meet you… and your blood" she said grinning.
Edgeworth: That is absolutely not how to conjoin sentences! At least add an 'and' there!
Maya: Wait, my family? Does that mean I'll be making an appearance as a vampire too? Cool!
Phoenix: Wait, but how would you-
Maya: Oh, shoot. Er…because…we're really, really distant relatives! She's, um, my half cousin separated 8 times!
Phoenix: Oh, alright!
Iris: *whispers* How did you convince him so easily, Maya?
Maya: Because he's Nick. Duh.
Quote:
"Great it hard enough having her suck my blood now a while family will" Phoenix thought.
"Something wrong?" she asked tilting her head.
Phoenix gave a fake smile. "Yeah I'm fine Iris just tired so don't suck my blood now," he said turning to his apartment.
Edgeworth: Ignoring the lack of proper punctuation, which I think I might have to, it's appalling how Wright simply does not seem to just try to dissuade Iris from sucking his blood.
Maya: That's probably because it's something the author's into.
Edgeworth: They WHAT?
Phoenix: Oh yeah! They mentioned they really wanted this to happen to them or something.
Edgeworth: B-but…how would that even-
Maya: Dunno. People are strange sometimes.
Larry: Hey, don't shame! People have their own kinks, you know!
Edgeworth: We're all too familiar with what 'kinks' people tend to have at this point, Larry.
Quote:
"So this is where you live a lot better than where I have do," she said smiling.
Edgeworth: …What?
Maya: Is she trying to say that her place is worse than his?
Quote:
"Where do vampires live?" Phoenix asked.
Iris tilted her head and thought. "Well we don't live in this world. We live in a world opposite of yours" she said then pulled a key. "We use this to travel from dimension to dimension.
Iris: Has this been mentioned before now?
Maya: No, I don't think so.
Edgeworth: So we're three chapters into this, and this is the first time he's asking her where vampires live?!
Phoenix: You don't know! Maybe this is just something vampires are sensitive to!
Edgeworth: And how would you know that?! Besides, she clearly answered that without hesitation!
Quote:
"Wow you vampires have some pretty cool stuff but if that's true why do you come to this dimension?" Phoenix asked.
"Well apparently the human race has better education and better paying jobs than in our world" she said pouting.
Maya: Wait, how do they know? Is there some currency converter from vampire to dollars?
Larry: Or maybe there're some other vampires trying to bridge the gap between races!
Speakers: Ahem. Tone it down, please.Edgeworth: Are we actually going to learn anything substantial about their world anytime soon? All we're getting are useless facts that we cannot do anything with. At least do some proper world building, author!
Speakers: If we may butt in, even the anime where they stole this from is pretty different in this case, since the school there is full of monsters disguised as humans, not actual humans.Edgeworth: They stole from…?
Speakers: Oh, yeah. Did we forget to mention that? Whatever, it's not that big a deal.Maya: It is that big a deal!
Quote:
"Wait so when and where is your family going to show up?" Phoenix asked.
"Oh they're coming tomorrow to meet us I'm sure you'll love them!" she said giggling.
Phoenix groaned quietly. A family of vampires coming to meet him how could this day get any worse?
Larry: Whaddaya mean? If a family of vampires came to meet me, I'd be honoured! I'd let 'em suck me all day long!
Everyone: …
Maya: Um…should we-?
Edgeworth: Let's not. It's for the better.
Quote:
Iris could tell Phoenix was frustrated. "Oh don't worry Phoenix I'm sure they won't mind you. Do you know what I do when I get tense?" she asked leaning towards him.
Phoenix could tell what was going to happen right away and dashed towards his apartment.
Maya: Well, at least Nick's developing some street smarts.
Quote:
"But all I want is a little blood!" she called out.
"Not today I'm going to need all the blood I have for tomorrow!" he said running to the door.
Edgeworth: If he has to cope with this all day long, then how is he supposed to live? Blood donations? That would appear rather suspect to the doctors.
Iris: I do hope he can make it to the end of this alive.
Quote:
It was true Phoenix was defiantly going to need all his blood for tomorrow. He had a feeling that he was going to have a sore neck tomorrow.
Maya: Defiantly? So he's going to try and resist his need for blood or what?
Iris: And if you feel as if you don't wish to see the vampire family, then you shouldn't see them.
Quote:
Phoenix woke up the next day tense. He didn't know how the day would turn out. He had a day off of school today so he decided to take a walk outside. However he didn't notice that he was getting tracked.
Phoenix: W-whaaa?!
Larry: Nick, you've got a stalker! Watch out!
Maya: Ooh, spooky! Who could it be?
Edgeworth: Most likely someone we don't know yet.
Quote:
Iris woke up the next morning happy and excited. Like Phoenix she lived in an apartment but on the other side of the world. She quickly got dressed and headed out to the other dimension. However she felt a slight tug on her arm as she was leaving. She turned around and her eyes gleamed at the sight of her younger sister who was much younger than her, had brown hair, and was very cute.
Maya: Wait a second. Is that…
Iris: I think it is.
Maya: Aw, come on! And here I thought I was going to get the vampire treatment!
Phoenix: Er, who's that?
Maya: Nobody you know yet, Nick. Don't worry about it.
Edgeworth: Do we not even get a simple description of this 'other dimension'? Is it just the same as the normal world? How lazy of the author.
Quote:
"I didn't think you would get here so early!" Iris said.
"I wanted to meet your friend I hope his blood is as tasty as you say!" the girl said jumping from excitement.
"C'mon hop on my back I'll carry you their," Iris said picking the girl up and placing her on her back.
Edgeworth: It's 'there', and it's also rather disturbing how she's encouraging her sister to suck his blood even more.
Quote:
"But how will you find him?" she asked.
"I can smell his blood it's a sweet smell so you can't miss it" she said cheerfully.
Phoenix walked out side taking a breath of fresh air which helped ease his mind. He took a walk out in the park the tree's looked beautiful when they had blossomed. He thought about Iris and her family.
Maya: Whoa! What happened to having proper transitions, huh?
Edgeworth: I doubt the author knows what they are.
Quote:
"What will it be like having a vampire for a friend? And why me I'm sure that my blood isn't the best tasting in the world. It seems I have the worst luck everything that happens to me is bad"
Maya: Geez, Nick! You get a vampire as your girlfriend, and you think you're unlucky?
Phoenix: N-no way! This isn't how I think!
Quote:
Phoenix thought for a moment. He didn't dislike Iris or anything he just was uncomfortable about her being a vampire. Along with that everyone envied him because Iris was the cutest girl in school.
Larry: What's there to worry about, Nick? Envy is, like, the second best thing about snagging a girl like this!
Phoenix: Of course it is! I-it's, uh-
Edgeworth: I can't believe I'm the one to say this, but could you please stop harassing him?
Quote:
But Iris did have some positive affects on him. She was cute and caring even if she did suck his blood everyday. She also had this way of cheering him up and was always smiling which made his day a lot better.
Iris: That's an odd positive to a negative.
Maya: The author's trying way too hard to justify this, that's all.
Phoenix: I thought you were saying that I was lucky to net a vampire girlfriend?
Quote:
"Maybe it won't be so bad," Phoenix thought.
Iris and her sister were walking around town trying pick up Phoenix's scent.
Edgeworth: Oh, the irony. Here she is searching for him around town, so sure that she'll succeed in finding him, and he says 'Maybe it won't be so bad'.
Larry: Yo, Nick, that's quite a scent you've got there!
Quote:
"Oh I think I can smell him!" Iris said cheerfully.
Her sister had picked up the scent as well. "Wow it is a sweet smell he must have rich tasting blood!"
Iris and her sister walked towards the park until they could see the back of Phoenix.
Maya: It…really is. Wow. Brace yourself, fic-Nick.
Phoenix: Rich tasting blood, huh? Heh heh.
Quote:
"Is that him?" the girl asked.
"Yes that's him!" "Phoenix!"
Phoenix turned his head to find Iris and a little girl on her back.
"O-Oh hi Iris! So is that your sister?" he asked nervously.
Maya: Oh, here we go now.
Phoenix: Huh? What do you mean?
Maya: Nothing, nothing.
Quote:
The girl jumped of Iris's back revealing her outfit that looked a lot like what a witch would wear. "Yes I am!" she said hardly containing herself.
"So your sister is a witch?" Phoenix asked giggling.
The girl pouted at the remark but before she could say anything Iris cut in.
"She's taking witch craft at her school I think she looks cute in the outfit"
Iris: Oh? So she's a vampire witch?
Larry: I think she looks pretty cool, yeah.
Quote:
The girl blushed.
"So what's her name anyway?"
"Pearl but I like to call her Pearly" she said giggling.
Maya: *sigh* And here's vampire Pearly.
Edgeworth: Ah, I see. To be honest, with the hat covering her hair, I had a bit of trouble identifying her.
Iris: I realised who it was when I looked at those eyes.
Phoenix: Wait, I'm out of the loop. Who-?
Maya: Er, we'll tell you later, Nick.
Quote:
"Well Pearly is cute," he said rubbing Pearl's hair.
Pearl's cheeks blushed even redder now.
Larry: Wait, what?
Maya: NO, AUTHOR! NO! STOP THAT THIS INSTANT!
Iris: A-are they really going to-?
Edgeworth: We've already undergone Phoenix Drive!
Quote:
"My sis thinks you're cute too," she said smiling.
Both Phoenix and Iris blushed at the comment.
Maya: …Oh, never mind. *sigh*
Iris: Thank goodness.
Edgeworth: I really thought they were going there.
Phoenix: It's kind of surprising how fast you jumped to that conclusion.
Maya: You'd understand if you were in our place, Nick.
Quote:
"Pearly what did I tell you not to do!" she scolded.
"Not to suck to much of his blood?"
Edgeworth: Oh, they're bringing it up.
Maya: Really? That seems kind of-
Quote:
"No while that is important I mean the other thing!"
Maya: Never mind, they are just going to ignore that.
Edgeworth: *sigh*
Quote:
"Don't get into other people business?"
"Yes Pearl follow that rule!" Iris's face was bright red.
"But you make such a good couple!" she insisted. Don't you think so!?" Pearl asked Phoenix.
Maya: *giggle*
Edgeworth: Why are you laughing?
Maya: It's kind of refreshing not being forced into a relationship this time. Sorry, Iris.
Iris: Oh, it's no problem.
Quote:
Phoenix didn't want to answer the question. "Well Pearly me and Iris are just friends," he replied.
"But she sucked your blood doesn't that mean anything to you!?" Pearly asked.
Phoenix blushed at that comment.
Larry: Yeah, dude! That means a lot, doesn't it?
Phoenix: Like my life, yeah. That's kind of valuable.
Quote:
"Speaking of blood I want to taste some to!" Pearl said reaching up to Phoenix.
"What no!"
"No fair you let my sis suck your blood but I can't!?"
Iris winked at him. Which was a silent way of saying it's ok.
Maya: Oh yeah, because if she says it's okay, then it's alright. Sure, let mage Pearly become your secondary succubus.
Phoenix: Did the author have to spell that out, too?
Edgeworth: …Maya, do you know what a succubus is?
Maya: It's like a vampire, right? It sucks stuff!
Edgeworth: Not in the way you're thinking.
Quote:
Phoenix stuttered. "Fine but not to much" he said.
Pearl smiled and jumped on Phoenix's back then sunk her teeth into his neck.
Fortunately for Phoenix her teeth didn't hurt as much as Iris's probably still baby teeth he thought.
Phoenix: "Iris's probably still baby teeth"? But…she isn't a baby.
Edgeworth: I don't blame you, Wright. It's the sentence structure. Most likely, the last part is to be read as a completely separate sentence, which is in no way indicated by the author.
Quote:
"Iris do you know how I feel right now? I feel like a mother feeding her baby always feeding an insane hunger.
Maya: So, Nick, how's it feel to be a mother?
Phoenix: E-eh? Oh, it feels just great! Wait…no, I mean-
Larry: Wait, whaaa? Nick, you just keep on surprising me!
Edgeworth: Larry, no.
Quote:
Pearl stop slurping and licked her lips clean.
"Wow that really is tasty!" she said trying not to bite again.
"Ok Pearl you had your fair share now it's my turn" Iris said leaning towards Phoenix.
"C'mon Iris am I a snack to you?" he said trying to hold her back.
Edgeworth: The man raises a good point. In all honesty, I wouldn't be surprised at all if she was seeing him only for the taste of his blood. A blood digger, as it were.
Larry: Hey, I already made that joke last time!
Quote:
"What no you're more to me than that!" she said defending herself.
"So you admit that you love him!" Pearls said joyfully.
"What no!" Iris replied.
Phoenix sighed this was going to be a long day a very painful blood slurping day.
Edgeworth: And then Wright died of blood loss. The end.
Maya: I wish that is how it ended.
Quote:
Ok my people review or I will eat a rabbit alive and put it on youtube.
Phoenix: Wh-wh-
Iris: Where did this come from?!
Larry: Dude, that's pretty sick.
Maya: What?! That isn't fair! That's blackmail!
Edgeworth: I doubt that is actually true, but it's still rather surprising.
[The lights come on.]Maya: Oh look, the narrator's back!
Speakers: We decided to give him a break this time after all the trouble you caused in our last sporking.Maya: Pfft, whatever. Did you at least stock the snack bar properly?
Speakers: *BLEEP* no! Why would we do that *BLEEP*?!Phoenix: Aaaah! Watch your language!
Maya: Yeah, cool. Too bad for you that we brought the snacks this time! Right, guys?
Larry: Oh, yeah! Here!
Edgeworth: What is that?
Larry: Oh, it's ketch- I mean, O- blood! Vampires love this, you know?
Edgeworth: I do not know. Where did you get this information from?
Maya: We learnt this during the last part! You should've been here!
Iris: It was…very strange.
Phoenix: It was very incredible!
Larry: Yeah, you want some, Edgey?
Edgeworth: Why would I-?!
Maya: Hmm, now that you mention it, you really do kinda seem to be the vampire type.
Phoenix: Oh yeah! The outfit, the hair, those bags under your eyes…they've even been calling you the Demon Prosecutor, haven't they?
Iris: But weren't you just saying earlier not to judge by appearances…?
Edgeworth: *groan* Really?
Larry: Aha! Admitting it, are we? Come on, Edgey! It's just a little blood! It won't ruin your diet that much!
Phoenix: If you don't like O-, then you can have my blood! You already know how good it tastes, right?
Maya: No, no! My blood's better than him!
Edgeworth: I refuse to partake in this. Management, I thought you said you weren't going to tolerate this any longer?
Speakers: …On second thought, this is turning out to be much more amusing than I anticipated. So…go all out with it. We don't care.Edgeworth: What?! You double-crossing fiends!
Larry: So come on, Edgey, suck my blood!
Maya: No, no, Larry tastes terrible! I'm much better!
Phoenix: Hey, you know mine tastes great already! They even mentioned it in the fic!
Larry: Come on, that was a bunch of lies! I thought we figured that out when they said my blood tasted awful!
Edgeworth: Nnngh.
Larry: Ah, screw it. If you don't want to bite it, then we'll just give it to you! Tada!
Edgeworth: What the-?! Larry, you idiot!
Larry: Er…oops. Sorry, Edgey. It looks like my aim was off by a little.
Edgeworth: A little?! Not only was your aim so off that it was only by a lucky chance it hit me, you also managed to leave the 'blood' bag unclosed! And look at this mess! My suit is ruined! Nggggghoooooooh!
Larry: A-aw, cheer up! I'm sure it'll be alright.
Edgeworth: …I'm footing you the laundry bill for this.
Larry: H-hey, come on. That was just an accident, right? You know that.
Phoenix: No, wait! I'll give the money!
Maya: Huh?
Iris: Really?
Larry: O-oh, sure!
Edgeworth: Ah, I'm glad to see at least you've retained your common sense. Very well. Just so you know, the payment should be about…this much.
Phoenix: Ah, sure. Lemme check my wallet…alright, here you go.
Edgeworth: Many thanks, Wright.
Maya: Wow, that was uncharacteristically mature for you, Nick.
Phoenix: H-heh heh, thanks.
Larry: Phew! Glad to see everything settled itself. I'll juuust-
Edgeworth: Not so fast, you troublemaker! You're not going to escape so easily!
Speakers: I'm afraid that'll have to wait till later. May the sporkers return to their seats?[The lights turn off.]Maya: Well, looks like we have no choice now.
Edgeworth: Grmmph…!
Quote:
Chapter 4: Family of a Bood Sucker part 2
Maya: Electric Boogaloo!
Iris: D-did they misspell 'blood'?
Edgeworth: How do you even do that?! And bloodsucker is also one word!
Quote:
I have never read Twilight or seen the full movie. I always fall asleep half way for some reason. Anyway here's an idea I came up with when watching a anime TV FTW! Also sorry that the chapter is a bit shorter than the others.
Maya: Oh yeah, Twilight. I'm actually kind of surprised nobody's made any 'Still a better love story than Twilight' jokes.
Phoenix: Those really aren't that funny, are they?
Quote:
Phoenix had the day of and decided to invite Iris and her younger sister to the amusement park.
The first ride Phoenix wanted to go was a new ride that had opened up. The Cyclone.
Edgeworth: Day of what? I think you mean day 'off'.
Quote:
"Iris do you want to come with me on the ride?"
Iris gazed at the sight of the ride and slowly nodded.
"You act as if you've never been on a rollercoaster before," Phoenix joked.
Iris frowned and her normal happy smile had melted.
Phoenix: My Dollie likes rollercoasters just fine, thank you very much!
Iris: Y-yes, I don't have any problem with them.
Quote:
Phoenix quickly tried to cheer her up by apologizing.
"Oh No Phoenix it's not you it's just I've never been out much" Iris said.
Phoenix tilted his head confused. "Really? Is it some vampire thing?" he asked.
Larry: What, is she sheltered or something?
Maya: Geez, I feel like we're on the verge of something here.
Quote:
Iris nodded slowly but didn't give a strait answer.
Edgeworth: It's 'straight', not strait! A strait is a passage of water connecting two large water bodies! You shouldn't even confuse the two!
Quote:
Phoenix decided it was probably best not to ask he quickly changed back to the topic of the roller coaster.
"Well even if it is your first time on a roller coaster it will be fun.
"Really?" Iris asked her face lighting up.
"It's a bit scary at first but it's not that bad"
Larry: Yeah, man! It's a thrill, alright. Even if Nick is kind of a wuss.
Phoenix: H-hey! I'll have you know that I'm NOT a wuss!
Edgeworth: Hmph. I never really saw the point in riding such things, in all honesty.
Maya: Yeah, I think I lost my lunch too on one of those.
Edgeworth: That wasn't what I was referring to.
Quote:
"Don't worry sis Feenie will comfort you!" she said smiling.
Iris's face blushed.
"Feenie?" Phoenix asked.
"That's what Iris calls you when your back is turned" Pearl said smiling.
Phoenix: Hahaha!
Larry: Man, Nick, I dunno why you like that nickname so much. It sounds so…silly.
Iris: *blush*
Phoenix: Well, it's a good name, alright?
Quote:
Iris quickly cut in. "I just thought it was a good nickname for you" she said shyly.
"You should make a nickname for sis to it would be romantic!" Pearl insisted.
Edgeworth: Once again, that sentence makes no sense till you realise that they meant to write 'too' but conjoined the sentences without adding any conjunction.
Phoenix: I call my Dahlia 'Dolly' but I'm not really sure about what nickname would suit 'Iris'. Um…Rissy?
Maya: Nah, I'm not feeling it.
Quote:
Now Phoenix was blushing. "Um if it's ok with Iris,"
"Oh I got one! My older sister calls her Rissy sometimes maybe you could to" Pearl said jumping from excitement.
Phoenix: Huh. Alright!
Maya: …Really? I guess that has to do. …Wait, older sister?
Quote:
"Older sister?" Phoenix asked.
Iris's face then flushed with fear and she started shivering.
"Iris are you ok?" he asked holding Iris's shoulder.
"I-I'm fine I-I just felt a little strange after hearing that" she said still shivering.
"Who is your older sister?" Phoenix asked.
Pearl answered for Iris. "Dahlia!" she said giggling.
Maya: …Oh. But wait, why would she call Iris Rissy?
Phoenix: OH! I get it now!
Iris: G-get what now?
Phoenix: I was wondering why they were calling you Iris for so long, but it's just your sister! Geez, how contrived is that?
Iris: O-oh, yes. It's, uh, very contrived.
Maya: (If you only knew the half of it, Nick.)
Quote:
Iris coughed at the mentioning of her name. Phoenix was now concerned about her. "Iris is something about her that affects you?"
Pearls tilted her head confused. "Dahlia is nice to me I don't know why she would have such a negative affect on Iris after all they're the same person"
Phoenix: Alright, really? I would've accepted them being twins, but the same person?
Edgeworth: Heh heh. Yes, indeed so.
Quote:
Phoenix scratched his head. "Um Pearls how could they be the same person?"
Pearls then lifted a strange necklace off of Iris's neck. It looked like a cross with a ruby in the middle and it had a strange eerie feeling.
Edgeworth: The word you're looking for is 'aura', or 'atmosphere'. Inanimate objects do not have any feelings.
Quote:
"It's a Rosario normally Iris and Dahlia can switch between bodies but with this Dahlia is sealed for awhile"
Phoenix: Rosario?
Edgeworth: It's Spanish, I believe. It means 'rosary', though I don't know why this necklace is called that.
Speakers: Coincidentally, the anime this is ripping off is called 'Rosario+Vampire', so make of that what you will.Quote:
"So why is she sealed then?" Phoenix asked.
Pearls shrugged. "I don't know it was put on a couple of months ago no one will tell me why but I think it's no big deal"
Phoenix then grabbed the Rosario and examined it. As he was examining it he accidentally pulled it off of its chain.
Larry: Oh, shoot. What did you do now, Nick?
Phoenix: Me? But that was just-
Quote:
Iris looked into Phoenix's eyes tears flowing.
"Iris what's wrong!?" Phoenix asked.
"I'm sorry Feenie…"she said her voice trailing off. Her eyes slowly closing.
"Iris…Iris" he said shedding a tear.
Phoenix: An…accident?
Maya: Look what you did, Nick! You killed her!
Edgeworth: Somehow, I think he did something even worse.
Quote:
"Stupid human"
Phoenix looked down to see Iris's body changed. Her hair was orange, her deep violet eyes changed to a dark brown, and her smile had changed to a horrible frown.
Edgeworth: Hmph.
Phoenix: Whaaa?! Why is Dolly a villain?!
Quote:
Phoenix at first didn't know what to say. Whether to be was happy that Iris was still alive or be horrified by the transformation made.
Larry: Wait, she's alive? Cool! You netted two in one, Nick!
Phoenix: Er…if you say so.
Quote:
Don't worry everything will be explained in the next chapter!
R/R
I meant what I said last chapter I have a rabbit hanging over a pot of hot grease! And can deep fry him in seconds so unless you want to see fried rabbit REVIEW!
Edgeworth: Very well, I shall 'R/R'. I have read this, and here is my review: It was terrible.
Maya: Why'd they have to bring back the rabbit?
Iris: It feels out of place, yes.
[The lights come on.]Phoenix: Oh! Is it over?
Speakers: Not yet for you, unfortunately. There's still one more chapter left.Edgeworth: Ngh… (Why is this tiring me so much?!)
Maya: Aww, can't we start now?
Speakers: Oh? Am I hearing you correctly? Very well, then.Edgeworth: Wait, no-!
[The lights turn off.]Edgeworth: …
Maya: Hey, don't look at me like that, Mr. Edgeworth! You'll thank me when this is all over!
Edgeworth: …
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Chapter 5: A Blood Suckers dark side
Maya: Aw, no Electric Boogathree?
Iris: Booga…three?
Phoenix: Nope, completely different from the Blood Sucker's Family Duology!
Larry: Duology, huh? That sounds cool!
Edgeworth: It doesn't fit this fic at all, then.
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Double updates I'll be doing some other stuff so I might not be able to update as often. Anyway here's chapter 5 hope this clears things about chapter 4.
Edgeworth: Somehow, I doubt it will.
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Phoenix stared and what was once Iris the one he cared for replaced.
"Dahlia!" Pearl cried hugging her sister.
"I missed you as well" she replied hugging Pearl back.
She quickly became serious however. "Pearl can me and Phoenix talk privately?" she asked giving a sweet smile.
Edgeworth: An improper use of 'and', lack of proper commas, and incoherent sentences all around. Already off to a fantastic start, I see.
Phoenix: I don't get it! Why does my Dolly have to be a villain?
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"Of course!" she replied before skipping off. When Pearl had left Dahlia quickly glanced at Phoenix with a nasty look. Neither one of them said anything after a few moments of awkward silence Phoenix spoke.
"So how did you know my name?" he asked a bit scared.
Maya: Uh, probably because they're the same person or something.
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"Have you forgotten already you humans are idiots I'm the same person Iris is. I can see everything she can see I can hear everything she can, I know everything she does"
"Gee a little harsh don't you think"
Dahlia stormed up to him. "Eek!" Phoenix squeaked.
Phoenix: Aaah!
Maya: Yeah, Nick. You really need to one up Dahlia here. So far, you aren't doing a convincing job.
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"See you humans are weak and frail! Royalty shouldn't have to be badgered by weak beings like you!"
Phoenix was a bit curious at the Royalty part. "Royalty huh?"
Larry: So Nick gets a frickin' vampire princess as his girlfriend, and he thinks he's
unlucky? Man, Nick, what's wrong with you?
Phoenix: Heh heh, my Dolly really is a princess!
Iris: Um…alright.
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"If your hallow brain can take this in then I'm the daughter of a royal queen. I can't believe Iris is falling for such a lowly human. She could ruin the pure blood between vampires. Something that I will not let happen.
She then swiped her finger against his neck leaving a large cut seeping blood. She slid her finger across the wound scrapping the blood of and bringing it to her lips.
Edgeworth: First off, it's hollow, not hallow. I don't think Dahlia meant to call Wright holy, by any means. Secondly, is she still speaking, or did the author forget to close the quotes?
Maya: Take a guess, Mr. Edgeworth. Take a guess.
Phoenix: W-wait! That looked pretty fatal, didn't it?!
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"I will allow you to live today. However if anything is to happen between you and my sister their will be more blood than just on your neck" she hissed coldly before swiping the Rosario from Phoenix.
She then latched the lock back on her necklace. Slowly Dahlia changed back to Iris.
Iris slowly opened her eyes. Tears flowing from the sight of Phoenix still alive.
Edgeworth: There, not their. How many times has the author made this mistake?
Maya: Huh, that was pretty nice of her. She even changed back into Iris. So all you have to do is not take off that lock on her necklace and you're free, Nick!
Phoenix: Phew! I was so worried, too-
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"Oh Feenie I was so worried that you would get hurt!" she said hugging Phoenix.
Phoenix however feel over. The world for him was getting dark. "Am I dying?" he thought as he felt the cold ground.
The world was getting dark around him. Damn I lost too much blood must be from the cut! He thought feeling the blood trickle down his neck.
Phoenix: O-ooo....
Larry: Wait, are you for real?!
Iris: Don't tell me…
Maya: Oh my goodness, is Nick dying of blood loss?!
Edgeworth: This took far too long to occur.
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He was able to whisper a few words before blacking out. "Iris…I'm… dying… after that he went unconscious.
Why!? Why do I get bad luck all the time! It looked like a turning point for me for once someone cared for me other than my parents. Someone I could care for lost…if only I had a miracle…
Larry: Hey, I care for you too, Nick!
Phoenix: Yeah, a lot more people care for me than that!
Maya: But the miracle never happen.
Speakers: The Management would like to remind the sporkers not to break the fourth wall or reference bad endings.Maya: …But the reference never happen.
Speakers: And we'd like it to stay that way.Quote:
Phoenix thought those words again and again. However he soon saw a bright light.
This must be my stop heaven. He thought as the light got brighter and brighter. But he felt a tug and could feel himself getting pulled back and could hear words.
Edgeworth: It isn't your 'stop heaven', Wright. Nor is it your 'start heaven', either.
Maya: Aw, and he almost did die!
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Don't die…
Please… come back…
He could hear the words as if from an angel.
Feenie…please don't die… I beg of you…
He felt a tear on his face. That tear was enough, enough to bring back the dead.
Phoenix slowly opened his eyes groaning. His first sight was Iris crying.
Larry: Wow, dude. That's, er…
Iris: Very cliché.
Phoenix: Haha! It's a little cheesy, isn't it?
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"Please come back Feenie… Don't die I beg of you" she cried.
Phoenix slowly reached his hand out and touched Iris's face whipping the tears off of her.
Maya: Whipping the tears off her! Nooo, Nick's become Franziska!
Phoenix: Who?
Edgeworth: I must admit, that image is somewhat amusing.
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Iris glanced down smiling like an angel hugging Phoenix tightly.
"Err Iris your using your vampire strength *cough* and your choking me!"
Maya: How does that work? Is she hugging him around his neck?
Larry: Sounds pretty intimate, Nick.
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Iris released her grip on him. "Oh I'm so sorry this is my entire fault!" she said whipping the rest of her tears off.
"No Iris you didn't do anything" he said.
"No I knew it would happen I knew she would come back I don't want you hurt anymore!" she said crying again.
Edgeworth: She's quite correct. You should leave her, Wright.
Phoenix: But all I have to do is not unlatch that lock, right?
Edgeworth: Knowing you, that is rather likely to happen sooner or later.
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Phoenix held her hands. "Iris it's ok I'm alive now right? We just have to be more careful"
"Yeah sis you can't run away from true love!" Pearl aid standing next to her.
Phoenix looked around and noticed he was in the hospital. He figured Iris had carried him their.
Maya: Wait, we're in the hospital now? Since when?
Edgeworth: Since Wright was going to his 'stop heaven'. I'm surprised Iris didn't simply call an ambulance 'their', however.
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"So when will I get out of here?" Phoenix asked.
"Um Feenie they say you're going to need a blood transfusion"
Phoenix: Took long enough!
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"Ok then who's donating my parents?" Phoenix asked.
Maya: Wait, Nick's parents are being donated?!
Phoenix: Noooo! Mom, Dad, come back!
Edgeworth: *sigh* The perils of improper punctuation…
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Iris blushed. "Actually Feenie I will be giving you blood I felt a little guilty so I wanted to help and this is a way to make p for all the blood that I sucked out of you"
Maya: Huh? So do they have the same blood group or something?
Edgeworth: Does vampire and human blood even mix properly?
Phoenix: Can vampires even give blood? Iris has been sucking
my blood, right? So if she gave it, wouldn't she feel hungry again?
Larry: Then she could just suck it back again!
Iris: That would defeat the point of giving any blood at all, though.
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"Now you will have a little something of Iris in you it really is like true love!" Pearl said holding her cheeks.
Iris and Phoenix blushed. "We're not in love!" they both said together.
"But he took of your Rosario that's a sign!" Pearl pointed out.
"But any strong willed human can do that!" Iris argued.
Maya: Ah, it's great not to be involved in any romances.
Phoenix: Why would you be?
Maya: Oh, nothing.
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While Iris and Pearl argued words in Phoenix's head echoed.
I'm the daughter of a royal family!
I can't believe Iris is falling for such a lowly human!
If anything is to happen between you and my sister their will be more blood than just your neck.
Edgeworth: D-did they include the same typo as well?
Maya: Yeah, they still wrote 'their'! C'mon, author! Now that's just lazy!
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PHEW this took time to write but I think it's a master piece if I could put 3 genres drama would be put in as well!
Edgeworth: 'Masterpiece'? Are you serious?
Maya: I…I think they are.
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R&R people
the rabbit is getting closer to the hot oil!
Edgeworth: My review remains the same as last time.
Maya: My review: I agree with Mr. Edgeworth.
[The lights come on.]Phoenix: Oh, it's over! Thank goodness, now I ca- *zap*
Maya: Gah! Hey, where did he go?
Speakers: We took him back to where he came from. He won't be joining you anymore, I'm afraid.Larry: Wh-whoa, this is getting crazy. I'll just be leaving!
Iris: Er, yes, I suppose we should.
Edgeworth: Yes, I agree. I wish to cleanse my mind of this as soon as possible.
Maya: Er, alright, I guess. Let's go, guys!
[And so our intrepid sporkers leave the theatre. What will happen next time? Is this fic anywhere close to over? Find out soon!]Speakers: Actually, I've been wanting to take a vacation for some time now. Maybe I should.