Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Experimental Hydroxyacelunodosetrase
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Student: Ms. D, how am I supposed to finish a realistic painting in TWO WEEKS? Professional artists take months or YEARS!
Ms. D: Well, Van Gogh would finish paintings in a day or two.
Student: Yeah, and Van Gogh also freaked out, chopped his ear off, and drank himself crazy.
Ms. D: Well, if that's what it takes!
Carly. 19. Ravenclaw. Hell's Belle.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
OTTF?
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KlemaFan16 wrote:
I walked into my printmaking class last week, and one of the AP art students was there, trying to finish a painting. He was having a conversation with my art teacher, and complaining.
KlemaFan16 wrote:
I walked into my printmaking class last week
KlemaFan16 wrote:
printmaking class
What kind of school do you go to?! I'm so jealous.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Guy that mostly RPs as a girl.
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Location: Frontlines with a dispenser.
Rank: Desk Jockey
Joined: Thu Dec 31, 2009 8:23 pm
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I swear it was frikking awesome.
FUH-RIIIEEEED CHICKIIIIN!!!
Wait- dat an ewg!
Click on mah drag(on), mah drag(on) is amazing!
...
I don't think I should continue this song.
I'm going to nom nom you!
Wait- dat an ewg!
Click on mah drag(on), mah drag(on) is amazing!
...
I don't think I should continue this song.
I'm going to nom nom you!
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Shut up woman, get on my horse
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My Maths teacher once said "People have been dying for their rights all their lives!".
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Experimental Hydroxyacelunodosetrase
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Hula_Maggey wrote:
Art History Prof: "Michelangelo's David has got the most bangin' butt." Flips to a slide taken from the other side. "I mean, really."
What kind of school do you go to?! I'm so jealous.
KlemaFan16 wrote:
I walked into my printmaking class last week, and one of the AP art students was there, trying to finish a painting. He was having a conversation with my art teacher, and complaining.
KlemaFan16 wrote:
I walked into my printmaking class last week
KlemaFan16 wrote:
printmaking class
What kind of school do you go to?! I'm so jealous.
Just a regular old school. It is a really fun class
But it might get cut with all of our budget problems. 
Carly. 19. Ravenclaw. Hell's Belle.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Meep? :<
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Professor: You see, though, evolution never results in a perfect being. This is why you don't see a super predator that can run at 200 miles per hour and has a machine gun strapped to its back.
Cells and Molecules:
Professor: I don't know about some people, but I like genetic diversity! I like the idea of coming together to create... *looks at class* unique and interesting offspring!
Writing Speculative Fiction:
Professor: There are some incredibly cliche descriptions that you should avoid in writing. Anyone who describes a winter scene as being a "winter wonderland" should be dragged out and shot.
(This is the same lady I had for Organisms and Evolution, and she is badass. She and I have conversations about everything from manga to video games to making fun of Twilight.)
My Geometry teacher in high school was a huge World of Warcraft addict to the point that mentioning WoW in class would completely destroy his train of thought. XDD
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Bam! Wait. That's a fish?!
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Violin teacher: You call that being a conquistador?! We're on the boat eating mac 'n cheese, not conquering them! Hey... now that I think about it, I am hungry...
Science teacher: Oh, Nick, do you want me to set your hair on fire? (he was telling us how to use the bunsen burners "properly.")
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I'm back, mate! Still lurking like a ninja but whatevs :3
I'm back, mate! Still lurking like a ninja but whatevs :3
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Experimental Hydroxyacelunodosetrase
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"When you present Monologues, you need to... I don't want to use this word, but it just fits so well, You need to have 'Swagga'"
Carly. 19. Ravenclaw. Hell's Belle.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
1000% Knight
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Credit to Evolina for the sig+avatar!
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Humph.
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EDIT: Just remembered that my ICT teacher is never in class (and we've never met him, either) and that my math teacher tells students to stop crotch-watching their own crotches and others'. Ouch.
This isn't me, luckily.
MK: "Hey, Daniel! Stop watching Jonah's crotch!"
Daniel: "What?"
MK: "You too, Ashley! Stop watching your crotch! Oh, and what's the answer to number 47 while I'm at it?"
Ashley: "10Q"
MK: "You're welcome." Then she burst into laughing.
For a class that lasts 40 minutes, we got 60 questions for homework that day.
EDIT2: We overheard our science teacher's talk over the phone. In involved her daughter having to go outside in -40 temperatures without pants for recess. A whole 15 minutes, that's frostbite, pal.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Deepest desires. Instant remorse.
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Teacher: "Apolla, you stand there any longer and you'll sink into the ground." *walks away*
Me: *yells at him as he walks away* "Hey, is that a fat joke?!"
Teacher: *turns around with a horrified expression* N-... No, no, I.. I didn't mean it like that at all!
Me: *laughs* Just kidding, it's all good.
*knuckle bump then we depart*
Married to eliasswift.
Mother to KissTheNight, Ezio Auditore, and Dimbo.
Daughter of miles*reminisence and jaydrick0620.
Sister of Miyako Chinatsu and Slezak.
Thanks to Nadindi for my avatar!
Mother to KissTheNight, Ezio Auditore, and Dimbo.
Daughter of miles*reminisence and jaydrick0620.
Sister of Miyako Chinatsu and Slezak.
Thanks to Nadindi for my avatar!
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
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Teacher: Out of 20-ish people here, 2 of you will be gay.
*a kid is looking at his iPhone during gym class*
Same Teacher: *looks over his shoulder* you could watch some awesome pr0n on that.
*talking about a test*
French Teacher: If each person gets a 75% or above, I will bake cupcakes for the class. I have no problem with bribery.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
What the Devil is going on here?
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*everyone sitting in silence*
Mr. Winter: *mumbling* Hmm.. I need to go to the supermarket today. Oh I'm talking to myself. I should stop doing that. I do need milk though.
Random girl: Sir, Who are you talking to?
Mr Winter: Oh sorry I was talking to myself.
Then he told us a story about the supermarket. And let us all go 4 minutes early. XD
~
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
SMASHING DAY FOR A BARBEQUE.
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'I HEAR VOICES!'
Lol it just makes her sound demented.
Also once in our drama lesson Miss just said
'Who has that new mario wii game? I can't get past world 4!! That wendy...'
I told her how to get past Wendy...heehee, i can't beleive she actually plays it.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
rock on rebel warriors
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alles ist scheisse
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
1000% Knight
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Random student: Y'know, you're lucky we didn't just leave!
Teacher: No, you're lucky you didn't leave.
(Then everyone burst out laughting... except the teacher ._. scary...)
Credit to Evolina for the sig+avatar!
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
What the Devil is going on here?
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I wasn't doing my work, instead I was doodling in my book. Everytime I looked up he would be staring at me straight in the eyes with a horrible death glare. I just smiled back at him everytime. I also had him for music that day and he did almost the same thing in that class.
After school, my dad was driving me home and I looked out the window into the car next to me. It was HIM! Giving me that same horrible glare. I seriously burst out laughing and smiled and waved at him. He just turned his head and drove off.
I havent seen him since but he is really creepy. o__O
~
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Secret Badger SALUTE!
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It was in music yesterday, and we were talking about polyphonics and monophonics.
And so he put on this song, to demonstrate. The song in particular happened to be the first song in JFA.
THe one which plays during Nick's nightmare? Yeah, that.
I laughed my head off. Everyone else groaned and started bagging me.
hahahaahaahhhaaaaa!
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Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Bam! Wait. That's a fish?!
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iLuvKlavierGavin wrote:
My teacher didn't SAY this, but...
It was in music yesterday, and we were talking about polyphonics and monophonics.
And so he put on this song, to demonstrate. The song in particular happened to be the first song in JFA.
THe one which plays during Nick's nightmare? Yeah, that.
I laughed my head off. Everyone else groaned and started bagging me.
hahahaahaahhhaaaaa!
It was in music yesterday, and we were talking about polyphonics and monophonics.
And so he put on this song, to demonstrate. The song in particular happened to be the first song in JFA.
THe one which plays during Nick's nightmare? Yeah, that.
I laughed my head off. Everyone else groaned and started bagging me.
hahahaahaahhhaaaaa!
HAH! Did you play JFA in music? ... well, in my English class, we're doing bookclubs, and my teacher was telling us about this group of boys who read Walk Two Moons. She taped them. I'm boring. We still can't find a stupid encyclopedia.
[Signature in construction until I make a new one]
I'm back, mate! Still lurking like a ninja but whatevs :3
I'm back, mate! Still lurking like a ninja but whatevs :3
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
SMASHING DAY FOR A BARBEQUE.
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she said, "I don't want to keep you behind because that means I have to be with you for 10 minutes longer than I have to." Then, like a minute later she said,
"I really enjoy seeing you guys!" Sure you do, miss. sure you do...
And our citezenship lesson was funny!
Girl in our class: Hey its SNOWING!
everyone: looks out window, talks and etc etc
teacher: Why you british like snow!? I hate snow! (She's chinese, and yes she does talk like this, i'm not making fun of chinese people
me: Why? Snow is sooooo cool!
Teacher: No it's not! I wanna flamethrower and melt it al!
XD
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
What the Devil is going on here?
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iLuvKlavierGavin wrote:
My teacher didn't SAY this, but...
It was in music yesterday, and we were talking about polyphonics and monophonics.
And so he put on this song, to demonstrate. The song in particular happened to be the first song in JFA.
THe one which plays during Nick's nightmare? Yeah, that.
I laughed my head off. Everyone else groaned and started bagging me.
hahahaahaahhhaaaaa!
It was in music yesterday, and we were talking about polyphonics and monophonics.
And so he put on this song, to demonstrate. The song in particular happened to be the first song in JFA.
THe one which plays during Nick's nightmare? Yeah, that.
I laughed my head off. Everyone else groaned and started bagging me.
hahahaahaahhhaaaaa!
Omg LOL. Same thing Happens to us in music. Theres a Lesson room right next to us and the girl having the lesson always plays that song. Me and Snowy burst out laughing and other kids laugh too but only becasue it reminds them of vampires. (at the end I ran to the piano and played the first bit lol)
~
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
1000% Knight
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Posts: 6932
Essa_L_M.E wrote:
iLuvKlavierGavin wrote:
My teacher didn't SAY this, but...
It was in music yesterday, and we were talking about polyphonics and monophonics.
And so he put on this song, to demonstrate. The song in particular happened to be the first song in JFA.
THe one which plays during Nick's nightmare? Yeah, that.
I laughed my head off. Everyone else groaned and started bagging me.
hahahaahaahhhaaaaa!
It was in music yesterday, and we were talking about polyphonics and monophonics.
And so he put on this song, to demonstrate. The song in particular happened to be the first song in JFA.
THe one which plays during Nick's nightmare? Yeah, that.
I laughed my head off. Everyone else groaned and started bagging me.
hahahaahaahhhaaaaa!
Omg LOL. Same thing Happens to us in music. Theres a Lesson room right next to us and the girl having the lesson always plays that song. Me and Snowy burst out laughing and other kids laugh too but only becasue it reminds them of vampires. (at the end I ran to the piano and played the first bit lol)
Uhm... that's b/c Bach's Toccata and Fugue is a famous piece ._.
Anyway, my math teacher gave us an amazing bit:
"When people say 'S&M,' they're talking about 'Sets & Mathematics'! They usually teach it in Sets Education. Of course, that's why they have to be discrete."
Credit to Evolina for the sig+avatar!
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
What the Devil is going on here?
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Location: Sydney, Australia
Rank: Prosecutor
Joined: Mon Jun 01, 2009 10:18 am
Posts: 905
Bad Player wrote:
Essa_L_M.E wrote:
iLuvKlavierGavin wrote:
My teacher didn't SAY this, but...
It was in music yesterday, and we were talking about polyphonics and monophonics.
And so he put on this song, to demonstrate. The song in particular happened to be the first song in JFA.
THe one which plays during Nick's nightmare? Yeah, that.
I laughed my head off. Everyone else groaned and started bagging me.
hahahaahaahhhaaaaa!
It was in music yesterday, and we were talking about polyphonics and monophonics.
And so he put on this song, to demonstrate. The song in particular happened to be the first song in JFA.
THe one which plays during Nick's nightmare? Yeah, that.
I laughed my head off. Everyone else groaned and started bagging me.
hahahaahaahhhaaaaa!
Omg LOL. Same thing Happens to us in music. Theres a Lesson room right next to us and the girl having the lesson always plays that song. Me and Snowy burst out laughing and other kids laugh too but only becasue it reminds them of vampires. (at the end I ran to the piano and played the first bit lol)
Uhm... that's b/c Bach's Toccata and Fugue is a famous piece ._.
Well yeah we know but it makes us laugh becuase it reminds us of the judge squishing Phoenix with his gavel. XD
~
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Steel Samourai's Fan
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Random student: Hey, prof? What is a ''fairy''???
Prof: Well, usually, a ''fairy'' is a ''Fée'' but in this case, it's another word for ''homosexual''
Me:... Hahaha! ...Ooops! Sorry!
Prof: What is so funny?
Me: I was just thinking... Since my godfather is homosexual, that's mean that I have a ''Fairy godfather''...
Prof: ...Hahahahahahahahaha! *wipe eyes* Now THAT's a good one!
Godot and his coffee cup, an eternal love!
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Consider this puzzle solved.
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Student: That teacher is, like, 80 years old!
Teacher: No, no- she's only 79.
--------
Teacher: If you would like to make a donation, I will take all the chocolate I can get my hands on.
--------
Teacher: If you're going to go by a nickname make sure your parents know about it. If you don't... well, say your nickname is, uh, Spicy Taco, and I sent an e-mail to your parents.
"Spicy Taco hasn't been as spicy lately and he needs some extra cheese" (extra cheese = extra credit). I get a response: "Who the hell are you!?" "I'm your son's band teacher". "Don't ever contact me again, you creep!".
----------
Student: What is this a picture of? Is she dancing?
Teacher: No, she's having a seizure. That's having a seizure.
----------
Oh, and then, there's all the hilarious stuff my English teacher said.
Student 1: I can't believe you don't remember what period you have me in!
Teacher: Well, when something really bad happens, your brain sometimes blocks it out, so it only makes sense that I wouldn't remember what period you were in.
Student one (talking to student 2): What was I about to say?
Teacher: Wait. You can't remember what you were going to say, so you asked her? What, you think she can read your mind or something!?
Student 1: My water bottle is soggy. I'm going to go rinse it out. *leaves*
Teacher: 0.o Do you understand what she's saying!? He water bottle's soggy. What causes sogginess? Water! How is she going to stop it from being soggy? She'll put MORE water in it!!
Student 1: *returns*. My water is still soggy!
Teacher: How is WATER soggy!?!?!?
Student: It tastes funny!
Teacher: That's not sogginess!!!
Hmm, I can't remember any more right now but I'll probably remember more later.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Wherever you go, I will be there.
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(during test)
Oh yeah, about that love story with Cecilia and Sheena!
(she has this recurring love story about these two pupils, who both contribute it to each other)
Teacher: Cecilia had found out Sheena had been cheating on her, and decided to rape her!
Cecilia: How the hell did I rape Sheena?
Teacher: DISCO STICK? In your PANTIES? It's more likelier than you think.
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Sister of BSX and ChocolateXCheese
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
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Well, the thing is, we're reading Richard III, by Shakespiare in Literature. (Mr. B loves annoying our Literature teacher) One day, we were reading the book in class, and suddenly the Lit teacher yelled, "Oh, God... No..." and she covered her face in shame.
Then, we all looked at the hallway through the glass wall, just to see Mr. B limping towards the door. Then he entered the classroom and started impersonating the deformed Richard III on his first monologue.
We just couldn't stop laughing, until the Lit teacher started laughing as well, while blushing =3
Awesome siggy by Auraion
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Heat Guy J
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He read it as "O wind, rend open the heart! Oops, Freudian slip."
Pauca sed matura.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
What the Devil is going on here?
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Teacher - *tells lame joke that I cant remember*
Student - Lol.
Teacher - You actually say that?
Student - shaa *tells lame joke*
Teacher -*tells another lame joke*
Student - Lol.
Teacher - Rofl
Student - Lmao
Teacher - Roflmaool
Student - wow..
~
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Consider this puzzle solved.
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Teacher: Spell "polopony". (note: it's pronounced "pull-ah-pun-ee")
Student 1 (same student as before): ...Can you use it in a sentence?
Teacher: Sure... um... "I'm gonna take a ride in the field on my 'polo pony'".
Class: XD
Teacher: The essay topic was "if you won any award in the world, what would it be?". Who would like to share their essays?
Student 3: Oh, me! I would!
Teacher: Okay, go.
Student 3: "If I won any award in the world, it would be the 'first person to tame a dragon award'". *starts reading essay*
Teacher: Psst! Come over here!
Student 4: What is it?
Teacher: I need you to go down to the nurse. There should be some guys in white coats there. Tell them to come here.
Student 3: Huh? What're you talking about?
Teacher: Oh, it's nothing! Carry on!
Student 3: Okay! *continues reading essay*
Teacher: Spell "cat"
Student 4: Cat. C-A-T. Cat.
Teacher: Spell [insert extremely hard to spell word here].
Student 5: Um... *spells wrong*
Teacher: Wrong. Spell [again, insert extremely hard to spell word here].
Student 6: Uh... *spells wrong*
Teacher: Incorrect. Now, if [student 4] spells this next word right, he wins. Spell... "cow".
Student 7: Easy! (she moves her neck in the strangest way as she says this... or anything else for that matter) C-O-W.
Student 4: Hey, what the heck!? That was MY word!!
Students 5 & 6: That's not fair!! He gets easy words!!
Teacher: [Student 7], be quiet. [Student 4], in order to please [Students 5 & 6], I will now give you an easier word. Spell.. hmm... "cows".
Student 4: Cows. C-O-W-S. Cows.
Teacher: You win.
(at the spelling bee)
Teacher: Alright, pick a number from this hat. (it was to decide the order we would go in)
Student 4: *picks a number*
Teacher: Congratulations. You win.
(He didn't "say" these, per se- he wrote them down on a worksheet)
Monotheism: belief in one God
Communism: real bad idea
Realist: someone who is realistic
Socialist: hardly a realist
Say, that reminds me of a puzzle! Have you ever heard this one, Luke?
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
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Annie; wait what?
Macfarlane sits at back of classroom, hugging a plush reinder.
Reindeer raises his hand.
Annie; yes... Macfa- err reindeer
Reindeer; Umm yeah, i reckon the idea behind last weeks discussion was to gain an idea of responsibilty and time consciousness
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Guy that mostly RPs as a girl.
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Posts: 61
"Go away evil spirits... No wait I mean angry spirits."
And later she said
"God, the evil spirits are taking over!"
Me: "You mean angry spirits?"
Her: "No, it's pure evil now!"
She also likes to call extra work "Happy work" because it makes her happy and us miserable.
FUH-RIIIEEEED CHICKIIIIN!!!
Wait- dat an ewg!
Click on mah drag(on), mah drag(on) is amazing!
...
I don't think I should continue this song.
I'm going to nom nom you!
Wait- dat an ewg!
Click on mah drag(on), mah drag(on) is amazing!
...
I don't think I should continue this song.
I'm going to nom nom you!
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
[Words]
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Posts: 3940
Spoiler: NSFW-ish?
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Consider this puzzle solved.
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Posts: 294
Student: That guy has a six-pack!
Other student: That reminds me, there were these two guys in class who were comparing their six-packs.
Another student: Oh yeah! That was so wierd!
Teacher: I have a six-pack...
Class: Really!?
Teacher: ...of soda in my car.
Student: This math problem is SO HARD!!!
Teacher: Well, I solved it in my head.
Student: Don't compare yourself to us! You're a teacher!
Teacher: I won't; there's no comparison.
And a funny thing my English teacher said a while ago...
Teacher: Show me your free reading books. This is a grade.
Student 1: Look!! I'm reading Nicholas Sparks!!
Student 2: Me too!!
Teacher: Do you like it?
Student 1: Yeah!! It's awesome!!
Teacher: Well, I'm glad you like my work, for, you see, I [dramatic pause][/dramatic pause] am Nicholas Sparks.
Say, that reminds me of a puzzle! Have you ever heard this one, Luke?
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
This is my Path, my Dream, my Choice
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*A car honks at us because they were a bunch of idiots*
teacher:Hmm, I wonder why they're beeping at us
me: mmmm
teacher: It must be because I'm hot!
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
What the Devil is going on here?
Gender: Female
Location: Sydney, Australia
Rank: Prosecutor
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Posts: 905
~
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Guy that mostly RPs as a girl.
Gender: Male
Location: Frontlines with a dispenser.
Rank: Desk Jockey
Joined: Thu Dec 31, 2009 8:23 pm
Posts: 61
justis76 wrote:
I dunno which teachers put these up, but there are these posters around my school saying this:
Spoiler: NSFW-ish?
This reminds me. One of the teachers lost their mug once. He put up poster everywhere with a picture of the mug with
"Kidnapped" and "Have you seen me?"
Why did he have a picture of the mug anyway? 0_o
FUH-RIIIEEEED CHICKIIIIN!!!
Wait- dat an ewg!
Click on mah drag(on), mah drag(on) is amazing!
...
I don't think I should continue this song.
I'm going to nom nom you!
Wait- dat an ewg!
Click on mah drag(on), mah drag(on) is amazing!
...
I don't think I should continue this song.
I'm going to nom nom you!
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
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Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
TAkE YouR hEaRT
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*Hands go up*
Student: Here! Here!
Teacher: I'll just pick those who do not say here.
same Student: Not here! Not here!
^ that one sounds better in German though... the English grammar kinda ruins it =/
Spoiler: same thing in German, for those who understand
Spoiler: Another one that makes more sense in German
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
earthlings on fire
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Posts: 1014
Anyway, a classmate of mine was writing on the whiteboard with each of the coloured markers. When he got to the black one, he wrote:
"This is a black marker, like Mr. Stone's heart."
Mr. Stone, the English teacher walks in, takes the marker, and writes "True" beside it. Then he writes:
"Mr. Stone is like NoHeart from Care Bears. He feeds off children's dispair."
My classmate tells him he wrote despair wrong. (He's our ENGLISH teacher, for crying out loud!)
So then Mr. Stone erases " 's dispair", leaving "He feeds off children".
...and there's fifteen feet of pure white snow
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