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Re: Both Broken, Caught in a Moment~~ (Phoenix/Maya)Topic%20Title
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「これが、モノを殺すと言うことだ…!」

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Quizer, you are my new best friend. You seem to be one of the very few people to fully exploit the awesomeness and hidden powers of TV Tropes. XD
If videogames make murderers, then guns kill people and spoons made Rosie O'Donnell fat.
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Re: Both Broken, Caught in a Moment~~ (Phoenix/Maya)Topic%20Title
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Forever Hungry

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That's what she said! My mind's blown. Some shizzle has gone down while I was away.

I don't really know what to say! I think Icer has really explained things for me, I wrote this with a lot with GS4 in mind. I might post something more substantial later but for now, about the fic...

Yes, Phoenix being disbarred is going to be part of this fic and maybe I shouldn't contribute to the debate, I'm scared I'm giving something away, you know?

Anyways, I just hope you guys are enjoying reading it regardless!
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Re: Both Broken, Caught in a Moment~~ (Phoenix/Maya)Topic%20Title

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DominicanZero wrote:
Quizer, you are my new best friend. You seem to be one of the very few people to fully exploit the awesomeness and hidden powers of TV Tropes. XD
Heh... :oops: I probably spent way too much time in those archives, but that site is a good resource for anyone who writes stories.


Maya wrote:
That's what she said! My mind's blown. Some shizzle has gone down while I was away.

I don't really know what to say! I think Icer has really explained things for me, I wrote this with a lot with GS4 in mind. I might post something more substantial later but for now, about the fic...

Yes, Phoenix being disbarred is going to be part of this fic and maybe I shouldn't contribute to the debate, I'm scared I'm giving something away, you know?

Anyways, I just hope you guys are enjoying reading it regardless!
Don't worry about not participating in the debate - I hear it's more fun to sit back and watch people argue over the details of your story anyway. Unfortunately, I wouldn't know about that since my thread isn't that active. Maybe it's because my story makes too much sense... damn, foiled again by my own cleverness! :karma-scream:


Quizer

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Ultra Course - A Phoenix/Maya fanfiction by Quizer
Quizer's fanfiction thread - Last update: Inconclusive Evidence Part 1/3 (Jan 07, 2008)
Re: Both Broken, Caught in a Moment~~ (Phoenix/Maya)Topic%20Title
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^Heh. No way am I going to 'debate' this.

Let's just await the next chapter.

[Also, you take what you can get with this pairing and ICness. Sigh.]
Re: Both Broken, Caught in a Moment~~ (Phoenix/Maya)Topic%20Title
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Forever Hungry

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Dude, Quizer, you need to take yourself down a notch or two... Seriously.
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Re: Both Broken, Caught in a Moment~~ (Phoenix/Maya)Topic%20Title
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Need a sig etc. Click the sig ^-~

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yes, we shouldn't have a giant debate over one chapter.
Let's wait for the next chapter instead. (but not have a debate over it)
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Re: Both Broken, Caught in a Moment~~ (Phoenix/Maya)Topic%20Title

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Hold on, so I should wait until the final chapter is posted before I say 'um... actually, I don't understand the end of chapter 2, it makes no sense to me...' ?


But yeah, I do tend to write essays when discussing things. Maybe I should wrap in spoiler tags so it's easier to skip over it for people who are bored by that sort of thing...

Or is that not what you meant by taking myself down a notch?


Quizer

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Ultra Course - A Phoenix/Maya fanfiction by Quizer
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Re: Both Broken, Caught in a Moment~~ (Phoenix/Maya)Topic%20Title
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Forever Hungry

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Just be paitent dude and see how it pans out, I'll try and have it posted by the end of the week.

Thanks for the feedback, I really appreciate it! Hope you're all enjoying the fic :maya:
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Re: Both Broken, Caught in a Moment~~ (Phoenix/Maya)Topic%20Title
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Quizer wrote:
Hold on, so I should wait until the final chapter is posted before I say 'um... actually, I don't understand the end of chapter 2, it makes no sense to me...' ?


But yeah, I do tend to write essays when discussing things. Maybe I should wrap in spoiler tags so it's easier to skip over it for people who are bored by that sort of thing...

Or is that not what you meant by taking myself down a notch?


Quizer


Sometimes thing don't make sense but they will when you learn more. I bet chapter 2 will make complete sense when you read chapter 3.

Maya wrote:
Just be paitent dude and see how it pans out, I'll try and have it posted by the end of the week.

Thanks for the feedback, I really appreciate it! Hope you're all enjoying the fic :maya:


I am definitely enjoying the fic. Can't wait.
Only advice I can think of is...
don't let me rush you :redd:
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Re: Both Broken, Caught in a Moment~~ (Phoenix/Maya)Topic%20Title

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Purple Angel wrote:
Sometimes thing don't make sense but they will when you learn more. I bet chapter 2 will make complete sense when you read chapter 3.
Ooh, I see, you have inside knowledge! :hotti: Do tell!

Personally, I'm not so sure the contradictions I wrote about will suddenly vanish with chapter 3, but I'm willing to let myself be pleasantly surprised. :godot:


But either way, I'm sorry if I gave the impression that I'm obsessing too much over this. I'm actually pretty relaxed about this. I was only trying to offer feedback (which I think is valuable even in the middle of an unfinished piece) and properly back up my observations. I tried to make my comments as comprehensible as possible, which requires more than a few sentences.



Maya wrote:
Just be patient dude and see how it pans out, I'll try and have it posted by the end of the week.
Yeah, don't let us push you. Take your time to make it as good as you can! :pearl-blush:


Quizer

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Ultra Course - A Phoenix/Maya fanfiction by Quizer
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Re: Both Broken, Caught in a Moment~~ (Phoenix/Maya)Topic%20Title
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I don't have inside knowledge, wish I did. I just assume it will because that's ow my fic goes. It withholds info. and makes no sense until you read the chapter but then that chapter doesn't make sense until you read the next chapter and so on.
And also there's always chapter 4 ^_^

I think I understand what you mean. Feedback is good. Just don't forget that there's still (probably) a lot more chapters to come and hopefully by the time this fic finishes. There will be no unanswered questions :) But it's still ok to ask those questions.
I'm not even sure anymore if I'm making any sense.. :grey:
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Thanks Christie so much for Pearl which I adopted from her :3 Yay Christie
Re: Both Broken, Caught in a Moment~~ (Phoenix/Maya)Topic%20Title

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Purple Angel wrote:
I don't have inside knowledge, wish I did. I just assume it will because that's ow my fic goes. It withholds info. and makes no sense until you read the chapter but then that chapter doesn't make sense until you read the next chapter and so on.
And also there's always chapter 4 ^_^

I think I understand what you mean. Feedback is good. Just don't forget that there's still (probably) a lot more chapters to come and hopefully by the time this fic finishes. There will be no unanswered questions :) But it's still ok to ask those questions.

I'm not even sure anymore if I'm making any sense.. :grey:
No, that does make sense. But when the next chapter comes out and there is indeed some kind of revelation that explains things that didn't make sense before, then I can comment on that, too. Or I can say, "Huh, I guessed that would happen." :-P


(That inside knowledge bit was a joke by the way... 'Dr.' Hotti should have given it away... xD)


And yeah, withholding information can be a useful way to put some suspense in the story. In the second chapter for 'Inconclusive Evidence' I'm currently writing, I have some outrageous and improbable things happen, but when reading it the second time, the reader should be able to nod and say 'yeah, that does make sense given the explanations that come later on'.


Well, I'm eagerly waiting to see if that's going to be the case here, too!


Quizer

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Ultra Course - A Phoenix/Maya fanfiction by Quizer
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Re: Both Broken, Caught in a Moment~~ (Phoenix/Maya)Topic%20Title
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Forever Hungry

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You guys are awesome, love you all! I really appreciate your comments :edgy:
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Re: What Went Wrong (Phoenix/Maya)Topic%20Title
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DUN DUN DUN!!!!

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4634384/6/What_Went_Wrong

*hides in the corner*

BE HONEST.
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Re: What Went Wrong (Phoenix/Maya)Topic%20Title
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...Chapter six by the way... wasn't just trying to plug it randomly! :keiko:
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Re: What Went Wrong (Phoenix/Maya)Topic%20Title
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「これが、モノを殺すと言うことだ…!」

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Epic lulz. Especially considering most 16 year old kids in this generation know a crapload more about sex than we adults are willing to believe. I expect Truce at least fantasized about the scene in the privacy of her bedroom... =p
If videogames make murderers, then guns kill people and spoons made Rosie O'Donnell fat.
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Re: What Went Wrong (Phoenix/Maya)Topic%20Title
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Epic lulz! *cackles* I do love writing the Apollo/Ema scenes... I think I'm beginning to hold a torch for Apollo now... I've actually started writing an Apollo/Ema/Klavier love triangle... thoughts?
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Re: What Went Wrong (Phoenix/Maya)Topic%20Title
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「これが、モノを殺すと言うことだ…!」

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After exploring the possibilities of Ema/Fop and Hornhead/Vera, I'm actually feeling drawn as of lately to the Hornhead/Ema combo. =p
If videogames make murderers, then guns kill people and spoons made Rosie O'Donnell fat.
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Re: What Went Wrong (Phoenix/Maya)Topic%20Title
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OBJECTION......and....stuff

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I LOVE THIS FIC!
You are a great fan fic author! Please keep writing!
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THANX Delsy
Re: What Went Wrong (Phoenix/Maya)Topic%20Title
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Phoenix FTW!

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I love this fanfic! I'm not sure I'm Phoenix/Maya, but I do love where this is heading. I can't wait to read the rest of it. :phoenix:
Baseballs have stitches! Does that make them suspicious?!

Footballs are made of leather! Does that make them suspicious?!


Both are from Phoenix Wright: JFA
Re: What Went Wrong (Phoenix/Maya)Topic%20Title
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Oh wow. I'm lost for words after reading this. This is truly, a great work of literature. I can see how you made Phoenix have a great fatal flaw like Superman. His kryptonite, are Feys, no matter how 7 years of being a bad-ass hobo. He can still return to being the lovable, sarcastic Nick. :phoenix:

I agree with some other guys here^ I think a few more chapters for closure will comfort us, the fans. :redd:

DO EET. :karma:

Erm, anyway. Capturing Edgeworth is a hard job, I can't seperate this from a manuscript for an official manga. (Except for Franziska being a bit more nicer :franny: )

Kudos to you, the author. For writing a sad yet fulfilling tale.
Always strive to improve, not compare to others! - Arkillian
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Re: What Went Wrong (Phoenix/Maya)Topic%20Title
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Ardee wrote:
I can see how you made Phoenix have a great fatal flaw like Superman. His kryptonite, are Feys, no matter how 7 years of being a bad-ass hobo.


QFT

His badassery is no match for those women!
Re: Both Broken, Caught in a Moment~~ (Phoenix/Maya)Topic%20Title
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Long time... Very long time!! :edgy:

I wonder if any of you readers of this fic are still on here..!

Here is the full version of Chapter three, linked on fanfiction and here ^.^
Spoiler:
Maya awoke slowly, daylight was breaking through the blinds. She sat up, rubbing her eyes and looked down at Phoenix who was still sleeping next to her. She gulped as she noticed the alarm clock next her, the train bound for Kurain was in an hour. Carefully stepping out of bed grabbing her dress, shoes and bag.

Looking in the mirror, her hair in a mess, she scraped it up into a messy bun on top of her head and wrapped her shawl around her shoulders. She felt some shame, waking up in Edgeworth's apartment, putting on her dress from the night before and leaving a man in bed. How romantic. Maya didn't know what she was thinking, just leaving quietly like this but she knew she couldn't survive saying goodbye to Nick, walking away and never looking back seemed the easiest option before the defence attorney asked her not to. It would break her heart.

As she tiptoed around the apartment collecting the remainder of her belongings, the spirit medium quickly peeked in on Phoenix... he was still fast asleep, she knew it was tempting fate but she couldn't resist sighing and looking over him for a moment before closing the door to the bedroom behind her. Maya knew she couldn't stay, her destined life as the leader of the Kurain awaited her. As soon as she left the apartment, she hurried down the stairs, her heart pounding, tears forming in her eyes. She never looked back.

- - -

As the train went whizzing past the scenery of the countryside, Maya was slumped back on her passenger seat, so tired, emotionally and physically. Her head leant against the train window, she slowly closed her eyes... a numbness fell over her, as if she had given up, too tired to comprehend what the consequences of last night and this morning would be. In her mind she knew that her silent emotionless departure was best, despite the cowardice that lay underneath it.

- - -

The sun of New Years Day had set and still no word from Maya. Phoenix Wright had woken up alone in what was at first a strange bed in an unfamiliar room, and the images and memories of the night before hit him without warning.

He reached for his cellphone from across the sofa, flipping it open and closed, checking his missed calls and voice mail. This new found obsession with his cellphone made him even more agitated. He stared at the screen, flicking through his address book until he got to Maya's home number in Kurain. Taking in a deep breath in, he pressed the fateful green button- watching it dial then ring furrowing his thick eyebrows together, not really quite knowing what to expect.

“Hello...?” he heard her voice in the distance. His heart began to pound. “Hello...? Who's there?”

Phoenix quickly put the cell phone to his ear, “Maya..!”

“Hello?” she asked again, not realising who was on the other end of the line.

“Maya, it's Phoenix...” his voice came out a little shaky and unsure.

“Nick, listen, I didn't, I-”

“No its fine. I should have...” Silence filled the line, the conversation was going nowhere as they stumbled out meaningless and incomprehensible sentences. Phoenix had to take in a deep breath to steady his nerves.
“...What time did you get back?” he started.

“Oh geez Nick, I'm sorry I didn't wake you this morning, or call you... I dunno man, it's just...” Her frankness instantly relieved him. The weight that had been on his chest all day lifted. “Perhaps I was just over thinking things?” he thought. Maya continued.

“It was just way awkward, I guess I didn't wanna say... goodbye” she trailed off, her honestly caused guilt to sweep over her. “Oh shit, Nick, I didn't mean to say awkward! I-”

Phoenix interrupted her with a gentle chuckle, “Don't apologise, you have no idea how relieved I am to hear you say that- it would have been SO awkward!” They both burst into laughter, everything was back to normal.

Time flew by as they began chatting together once more- not as the confused, shamed Phoenix and Maya but the Phoenix and Maya who poked fun at each other and talked about everything and nothing without a second thought. The attorney had been mulling over Maya all day, what they were, what they could be though he knew it was too soon to pester the newly made leader of Kurain and though he promised himself he wouldn't, alas the words flew from his lips before he could even think about it.

“This is going to sound, well, Maya... what happened last night-” Phoenix couldn't believe how quickly the phone line tensed up, “what does it mean? Are we...?” catching his own reflection in the mirror across the room, “God I sound pathetic”

Maya giggled sympathetically, “Nick... its all right...” she could sense him frowning at her. “I don't know, last night was amazing, don't get me wrong but... how will this work? I'm so far away from you now...”

Phoenix quickly interjected, “only two hours away Maya...”

“Okay not so far” she sighed “but... we both have full time jobs you know? I'm... I'm scared”

The defence attorney leant forward off his sofa, beginning to worry about where the conversation was heading, “of what? A long distance relationship?” he cringed as he uttered those words.

“I guess yeah, I've never had... well... even a serious relationship let alone a long distance one”

“Whoa, Maya, hold on there, I'm not trying to push you into anything serious here...”

“I know, I know,” she began to sound frustrated with herself, “I just, I don't want anything to mess up what we have, everything was so great these last couple of months, it won't be the same!” Maya began to tear up a little, her voice gradually getting smaller and smaller, then another voice entered the room on her side of the line. “Ah, Nick, I'm sorry, I've got to go have this big dinner thing with my family, it's kind of a big deal. Can I call you tomorrow?” her voice almost pleading.

Running his hand over his face, he sighed, surrendering to the spirit medium, “of course”

“All right Nick, I'll speak to you soon okay?” she hurried

“Bye Maya” Click.

- - -
The spirit medium walked out into her garden, sighing heavily after having a long, hot shower. Washing away last night, his scent had overpowered her, a constant reminder of their passion had circled down the drain. She sat down on the floor, hugging her knees and fell into deep thought. Maya had had a few flings but nothing as intense as what she had experienced with Phoenix, they never lasted long and were few and far between. Last night had made her reflect on her romantic history. She had only been intimate with one other boy, certainly not the love of her life but a kind and naïve boy, sweet sixteen.

She turned back to her room, her old, familiar, reliable room. Amongst all her clothes and belongings, she frowned at the mess, not to mention the added stress of all the formalities of becoming the leader of Kurain and reuniting with extended family and friends. Maya made her way over to her bed, flopping back onto it and staring at the ceiling. Her eyes began to close, she was exhausted... however that night and the whole of the next week to come- her eyes would jump back open, because Phoenix wasn't there. His arms were no longer there to wrap around her, his heavy breathing had been replaced by the silence of the countryside.

By the next week, Maya had developed a pale complexion and sunken dark circles under her eyes. Clearly she wasn't fitting back in as well as Pearls and her family had hoped.

“Mystic Maya! What are you doing?!” Pearl exclaimed hearing Maya grunting and a lot of banging around. She ran into Maya's bedroom, finding her cousin kneeling in front of an unplugged television set on the floor. “What are you...?!”

She replied with a sigh, “I'm trying to get this T.V onto my dresser! Who knew they were so heavy?!”

“Where did you even get this thing?!”

“Ryu gave it to me” she continued, Pearl's jaw immediately dropped.

“He lives at least a fifteen minutes walk away! Are you crazy?!”

Maya flopped down onto the floor, comically still groaning in pain, “it was... no... big deal”

“Mystic Maya! Why didn't Ryuzaki just carry it for you?!”

“He's away this weekend but he said I could pick it up anyway... ahhh... my back...!”

Pearl couldn't help but find the image of Maya struggling with the old television highly amusing, especially if anyone had seen her, “what do you need a T.V for anyways? We have one at my house!”

The raven haired girl stared at the ceiling, unsure whether a nine year old should really know why she couldn't sleep at night. “I guess... its just a little too quiet here”

Pearl sat down next to the now crippled Maya, “Mmm, I know what you mean- its definitely a lot quieter when you're away too!” A pang of guilt hit the older spirit medium,

“I'm sorry I was away for so long Pearly... but now I'm back for good now! We can hang out as much as you like! I promise...” she beamed at her cousin, reaching for her hand.

The little one smiled, “wonderful! I mean, my friends are okay and everything but not as cool as you and Mr. Nick!” It was then Maya sensed an inevitable badgering off of Pearl as she watched her eyes widen. “So did you and Mr. Nick finally become a couple?”

“Pearly! Please! If I wasn't stuck on the floor right now I would throw a pillow at you!”

Pearl frowned, “Fiiiine... I won't ask again...” She looked to the future leader of Kurain, writhing on the floor in pain in her sweats no less, “Should I get you some help Mystic Maya?”

She replied with a groan, “I don't want anyone to see me like this! The leader of Kurain! Dies tragically by lifting a T.V!”

“Wow, that IS sad...” an unfamiliar voice chimed in, the two girls turned to each other before the mystery voice revealed itself.

“Ah! Ryu!” Maya panicked looking down at her grubby outfit and ungracious position on the floor, “I'm so sorry!”

“Please don't worry about it” he said with a smile. “So as you've probably guessed, my trip got cancelled...”

Pearl stood up feeling a little rude sitting on the floor, “So you'll be able to make it to Mystic Maya's party tonight?”

Ryuzaki nodded, “indeed I will...” The three paused, hearing the telephone ring, Maya stared helplessly at the phone, which in her condition, seemed miles and miles away.

“That's probably Nick... sorry I don't mean to be rude, I have to take this...”

“No problem, see you two tonight” Ryuzaki waved with a smile, his fingers barely poking out of his long sleeved zip up and exited the room. Pearl on the other hand remained, blushing and smiling at the thought of Maya getting a call from her 'special someone'.

Maya picked up the receiver with her feet and glared at Pearl before greeting Phoenix, “Pearly I think I should talk to Nick... in private” she hinted not so subtly. The little girl just giggled with excitement, it didn't take a genius to figure out that something was going on between them, especially for the mature nine year old Pearl. As she skipped out of the room with glee, she remembered overhearing her great aunts discussing the pair. The old women had cackled and speculated on 'that lawyer that jumped across a burning bridge' and 'put Morgen away' and how the lawyers of Tokyo seemed to be stealing all the Fey girls from under them. Pearl had also heard them gossip about a 'Latino' lawyer who had 'distracted' Mia. The little girl was unsure about what they meant but she figured out that Maya's extensive stay with Phoenix was pretty much what she had thought all along.

- - -

“What am I doing...?” Maya repeated the defence lawyers question, aimlessly looking around the room. “I guess I'm crippled on the floor right now,” she said as she shifted about, suddenly realising why she was so uncomfortable- “and lying on a T.V aerial!” she giggled a little when Phoenix informed her that he wouldn't even ask for an explanation. As she listened to Phoenix talk about his day and his insane workload, she found herself feeling warm... comforted by the sound of his voice. Whenever they spoke it was like nothing was different, time had never passed and she was back in his apartment. It was then, the raven haired medium unintentionally let out a very audible yawn. She slapped her hand over her mouth, shocked by herself.

“Oh God, Nick! Sorry!” Disregarding the pain in her back for a second she quickly sat up, “.... No! No! It's not that, I've just been finding it... No of course you're not boring, Nick!” she began biting her thumbnail as she listened to him getting slightly pissed off, “I just can't sleep lately... yes I know... it must have been because I'm lying down... or something...”

Unable to get Phoenix to see the funny side, it wasn't long before the pair said their goodbyes and hung up. Maya flopped back down onto the floor and sighed heavily, “I suck at this” she whispered to herself, feeling a little defeated by another unsuccessful telephone call between her and Phoenix Wright. Every call had been well, to say the least, awkward. As if they were both expecting something great from each conversation, Maya felt idiotic, she never had anything interesting to say about her day, she found it boring enough living it, let alone reiterating it to him!

The medium had hoped that after a week this sad, empty feeling would have disappeared but alas it remained. Glancing at the clock, she noted to herself that it was time to get ready for the last of her many welcome parties.


http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4812399/3/B ... n_a_Moment :maya:
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