Opening Credits: The overture from
Prince Igor, by Alexander Borodin. How appropriate. Still, that would make for some long opening credits.
Waking Up: Tempus Est Iocundum from
Carmina Burana, by Carl Orff. Uh, so it's the morning after I deflowered someone, or do I deflower someone shortly after waking up? ...I think my brain just blew a fuse.
First Day At School:
Song of the Volga Boatmen, arranged by Mily Balakirev. Well, I suppose some people might view school that way, but I'm not among them.
Falling In Love: The letter scene from
Eugene Onegin, by Pyotr Tchaikovsky. Well, I did ultimately confess my love to that special someone through a letter, and it turned out to be unrequited, so this fits almost perfectly.
Losing Virginity: The finale from Act I of
Die Walküre, by Richard Wagner. ...I don't want to think about what the implications of that are. [searches broom closet for brain bleach]
Fight Song: Spring, 1st Movement, from
The Four Seasons, by Antonio Vivaldi. Not exactly a violent song...
Breaking Up: Igor and his wife's duet from
Prince Igor. What the frick-frack? I need to go replace another fuse...
Debs/Prom/whatever you call it:
Night on Bald Mountain, by Modest Musorgsky. Good thing I didn't attend, then...
Life: Kyrie from
Missa in Angustiis, by Franz Josef Haydn. Why the frick-frack would an agnostic be begging God and Christ for mercy? Does my movie self convert to Christianity or something? Whoever is making a movie of my life, please actually do some research.
Mental Breakdown: The shepherds' song from
Pique Dame, by Pyotr Tchaikovsky. Okay... and that's supposed to mean... what?
Flashback: Boris's death scene in
Boris Godunov, by Modest Musorgsky. So I'm remembering a leader's death?
Getting Back Together: The epigraph from Sergei Prokofiev's opera adaptation of
War and Peace. We are going to kick some serious [censored].
Battle Couple doesn't even begin to sum it up.
Wedding: The first movement of Tchaikovsky's first symphony. I guess we're getting married sometime in the winter.
Birth of Child: Part of Andrei's death scene in
Mazeppa, by Pyotr Tchaikovsky. Whoever is making a movie of my life, you are a jerk of the highest order.
Final Battle: The fourth movement of Dvořák's seventh symphony. I can't think of anything that would be more appropriate for a final battle.
Death Scene:
Pomp and Circumstance March No. 1, by Sir Edward Elgar. Sounds like I will have an absolutely glorious death.
Funeral Song: Chernomor's March from
Ruslan and Lyudmila, by Mikhail Glinka. Well, that march is for a villain and his entourage, so that does not bode well for how I will be remembered.
End Credits: Lykov's aria from
The Tsar's Bride, by Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov. Uh... okay... happy ending even though I'm dead and likely to be remembered as a villain? Whoever is making a movie of my life, you're fired.