Ugh, can't believe he did all of that, and that too in a country with a law like the Defense Culpability Act.
TV Tropes told you that?



... I hope they don't challenge her insights...



That's... epic. How'd Monokuma get those kids though?



Um... we are talking about Phoenix Drive, aren't we?



Okay, this just gets more and more messed-up. Really, what in the world? Is Toko that bad or something, or did he just not know the consequences of his actions?



Oh, so he's never reached the level of absolute rage? Okay then.(still reminds me of Sasuke a lot)



Yeah, I remember reading that. Twisting characters just for the sake of a pairing is not right. And it's not worth it.



Oh... haven't watched Moana yet...

Oh, yes. And which guard or prison warden can confirm that?



If that's what you want...



It was good I had a backup. Don't you know tampering with evidence is a crime, SC? It's the second time you're doing this.

Remember the aforementioned point while viewing...



You are? That's shocking... But have you considered the fact that you will earn the hate of the sporkers for your contributions for trollfics?



The fic, of course! Your sporkings are always a delight (and I have a lot of things to say about this one, but I'll save them for the proper time).
Yes, interesting... of course it is...



Thank you.

All of them



That's what I should be saying to you. How do I know you didn't forge this? Do you at least have a picture to back this up?



If anything, I've garnered (way too much) support for my first one. I doubt the second one will change much. I won't be sporking it though, since that feels like cheating.



<3 Aw, you don't have to be so nice.

I'm surprised this hadn't been sporked already. It's just perfect.




You are welcome.

i found out how awful gaspen is on the nigthmare fuel page on SoJ....gaspen is one fucked up pro.



she'll be more than welcome.....or totally ennoyed...



monokuma is a robot.....yeah his kids are manufactured.



true dat.



uh no...he was obsessed with the serial killer "genocide jack" and made the crime scene to resemble that of a genocide jack murder.....and due to plot genocide jack is related to toko.....i am really refraining from spoilers....



ye- no. at least he warmed up after chapter 4.



yeah it's really bad, it's a shame she writes sowonderfully....bad because the way she twists the characters....even more damning is that she wrote stuff like the baby chronicles and blackmail at the age of SIXTEEN!!! I'M ONE YEAR YOUNGER THAN THAT NOW!! WTF!!!!
but it was stated on her bio she based her AA fics on things that happene in her own life....i sill dunno if that is an excuse or if it's just a bluff....i'm kinda triggered as a rabid klema fanboy myself....



i haven't but that song is spreading as fast as let it go...

Including Marī Miwa?



Forge? How absurd... I hope this will be enough proof?

~



~

(I feel like Franziska, for some reason...)



I don't mean the sporkers. I mean our dear AA sporkers who never get a break from the Sporking Theatre - I don't think they're going to provide much support for this.



Thinking about it... It kinda would be, wouldn't it?



The truth is the truth. And we can't hide from it.



It's perfect... perfectly disgusting, that is. Fic!Phoenix makes me want to tear something with how OOC he is. I don't know whether to be glad there isn't a second chapter or to be sad (because the sporking is sure to be good).



... I- ... *shakes head* Go on, enjoy in my suffering, won't you?

I just went and read that and... wow...



Let's wish for the former for my sake.



Oh. Did he make them by himself or...?



So let's leave it at that.



... He's obsessed with a serial killer, and goes so far to make a crime scene resemble that? Are there any more messed-up surprises left? (Of course there are - why am I even asking?) Thanks for the refrain!



Does this sporking take place before or after chapter 4?



She does write okay, barring mistakes found here and there, but the OOCness is tough to handle (all the points you mentioned before). She wrote Blackmail at sixteen? Oh gods... That's just... messed-up, for the lack of a better word.
And *goes and reads FFN profile* she states:

"I tend to write all kinds of things, based on my real life (such as my Ace Attorney fanfiction Reasons Why) to weird half baked lucid dreams, mockeries of modern media and romantic fluff."

Which... makes it better, I guess?

Also, Klema is your OTP?



It is? I must be really isolated if it's known that much and I haven't even heard of it. Although I learnt about Let it Go from my sibling and friends, so...

She's in prison now. As a prisoner.



?

Jokes aside, this evidence is forged. The name on the quote was added after I changed the last part to indicate I wasn't toomuchbathroomcorn2009! Therefore, you edited it to-

Shoot. Nice trap there.



You really think they initially supported mayo's rattelsnek advuntre? Not much is going to change here.



The reason I originally sporked mayo's rattelsnek advuntre was due to a lot of anger and contempt directed towards myself (basically self derision) and also to try my hand at sporking. If I were to write a sequel, I wouldn't want to do the same thing.

Maybe YOU could spork it?







The latter, because it was a goldmine. I hope to see Phoenix turn Angelica 21 suddenly and marry her. Or maybe skip the first step since the author doesn't seem to care for that.



To quote Dingling Meanpaws, 'GO INTO DESPAIRRR!'

yeah.....ikr, this is why we must see Winston come back and be a good boi.



well she is called her "benevolence". except she doesn't live up to that title much



if i tell you it might be spoilers for v3 (btw i don't know exactly how he got those kids myself....i once intentionally looked up spoilers for new danganronpa v3 and i have mixed feelings on the plot twist....so i'm also assuming that could be how we got the monokuma kids)



yeah there are a LOT of messed up surprises in DR.
also....he likes genocide jack as much as toko.....so basically he doesn't like them both.....i can't go too much into details.....also i thought i would just clarify that up......but i won't clarify jack himself (>HIMself) yeah....that's a huge spoiler in chapter 2.



technically yes.....the sporking takes place after danganronpa 2, that's why Nagito is here!
also....i was thinking of making my own "heromaniverse" in the sporking community, like make my own realm of sproking, that way i can tinker with the spavce time continuom with sal manella's elite haxor powers and make monokuma the management in my sporking of "miscarriage of justice" (which i will talk more about when i get to that quote) and i kinda want to make monokuma the management in AA non crossover sporking myself...."phoenix wright hecking dies" is the only bad AA and DR crossover fic out there....



yeah in a way...it IS messed up.
and the OOCnes....ugh. but i can't help but feel jealouse for not being as commited on writing my own fanfics and to do it so vividly....



yeah it is....is there a problem?
also Kaisa just...ugh her "miscarriage of justice" fic was labelled as klema, but i predicted as such (and true) that it was going to be empollo....whoopdeedoo....i was (w)right.....
but at least that fic makes klavier more humane than the usual kaisa fic....he even adopted a box of kittens and puppies!



i sometimes think that myself....my own brother is why i got into jojo, RVB and RWBY.
we leanr things from our younger siblings even thohgh they cna be a bunch of assholes that avoid you like the plau

I know. But I couldn't think of any other prison wardens.



Clever. Since you found me out, let me admit I do have text evidence for this, but pictorial was a bit difficult. Much like the Ace of Spades, now I think of it... seeing that-



-this evidence did manage to point out the truth in the end.





Thank you.



Of course not, but your name has the chance to become the next barrylawn or something. Imagine the case then... the sporkers learning to be on guard whenever toomuchbathroomcorn2009's fics appear in the theatre...



... That's- (For your first try [it is, right?], it was a good trollfic except for the constant misspelling.)
But at least you did your first sporking with that, and now you have seven! So it was like your stepping stone or something, I suppose.
You have plot plans for a sequel? (Because it really sounds like you're considering it...) Going by the ending of MRA, I believe Edgeworth will be involved, and so will Phoenix.



I'm holding back on doing a spork until I'm certain I can get the characters done properly, which will take quite a long time since I'm still a bit afraid of going OOC...
I've actually had my eye on a crossover so that I can bring another character that I'm far more comfortable with writing - it's alright if the fic isn't exactly a horrible one, right?



About that 21 thing, just how did this author manage to screw up so bad? That too in one real short chapter. Just- *sighs*
True that, but perhaps they'll get married in the courtroom itself, with how fast the romance is progressing.



Sorry... but Dingling who? What?
Also, are you trying to turn this into a reflection of DR?

(Is there any reason behind '66475' or did you just choose it at random? Just curious.)



And after the trial, be immediately forgotten by everyone.
(I had to say that...)



Exactly why I'm hoping she'll be benevolent in this case. May our insights coincide.



Oh, thanks again for non-spoilering!
It does seem like there's an interesting story behind his five (five, right?) children. Though from what I've seen of Monokuma, I hope they inherit at least something from him.



I knew it.
Alright then. I suppose I'll just have to find out everything through actually playing the game. Like I should be...



Does that mean 'before' or 'after'? Or... is each game considered a chapter?



Even if you make your own universe, I don't think you could use Monokuma as the management outright, considering the rules given in the beginning.
Most of them are kinda lax for the theatre, but Rule 6* states it's better to avoid it.

*To quote: "Related to this, please use only AA characters as sporkers, unless the fic is a crossover. This rule is also effective for Professor Layton characters, despite the existence of the crossover game."

Though I suppose you could bring Monokuma and just not have him make DR references in non-DR fic sporkings... if that made any sense at all. And how would Monokuma know more about the life of the AA characters? You could include a moment where the Management hits off well with Monokuma and explains stuff to him while handing over the reins.
(I've no clue; I'm just typing what comes to mind at the moment.)



Nowadays, everything seems messed up.
Practice makes perfect! If you keep writing, you're sure to improve. I know I did when I wrote fanfiction.



No problem at all. Just clarifying!
I checked out that fic. How Kaisa could do that is beyond me. To wright about your OTP (with OOCness) is one thing, but it's another to completely lie about your fic.
I didn't think it was possible - Klavier's actually a human, rather than a monster. Colour me surprised.



*nervously laughs* That... was my elder sibling who introduced me to lots of stuff (including Naruto and a ton of songs). I'm the younger one by about five years...

Well, I guess we did both forge evidence, so it's all good now.



Heh heh heh heh heh heh....Hahahahahahahahahahahaha! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHOOOHHOHOHOHOOOOHHHOOOOOOHIHHEHEEHHEEEEEEEEEEHHHAAHAHAH yes I guess they would.


Really, it was harder than you think to come up with all those constant misspellings. The Sporking itself I feel is rather mediocre. I prefer Cowboy Up to it myself.



No, I didn't. The fic was supposed to be a standalone one-off trollfic. But I do have some ideas in my mind. Maybe an OC or two? Heh.



I'm writing one now with a character I haven't written before, so it's an exciting experience, ya feel me?

The fic doesn't have to be necessarily horrible, but it should at the very least have some...'sporkable' moments. It's a bit hard to explain, but the important part is there has to be quite a few moments where the characters can make fun of what's playing out in front of them. You can still cut out the boring parts, but it has to be a certain length. That's my advice, anyway.



Sorry, I meant Dangling Grandpas. The one with the weird bear who's pretty much Zero III from VLR.

Also, have you seen barrylawn's new fic? It is quite an interesting one. The mystery is truly well woven as well, and the plot twists are unexpected but still make sense in hindsight. Another example of barrylawn's genius works.

Also, new sporking coming either today or tomorrow! I have some stuff to do now and also a movie to watch, but I can definitely say that it's started production. Keep an eye out.

it had a good ring to it...and i thought it would just be cool.
calling myslef just "heroman" doesn't feel right to say, the "66475" makes it a bit better in my eyes.



sadly that is Payne's fate.....curse asougi for cursing the payne lineage...



may the holy mother be with you on this one...



well they might have, but from what i can tell they have their owbn unique personalities....



yeah you should...



um...each danganronpa game have a prolougue and 6 chapters, basically consider them like the cases in AA.



well monokuma is known to have dirty on literally EVERYBODY.....but i still think i might use lines and scenes extracted straight from the games (IE some of the scenes in my sporking like "Cause it's a game!" and "You think I have the nice-" no i'm not saying that in this situation....")



yeah true. But since i'm moving my focus to my lifeling dream of youtubing....i shamefully don't have enough time....and there's fics i really want to complete....and maybe make....



well it wasn't a COMPLETE lie at least.....unfortunatley even though the klema was short lived...there was emapollo all the way through.....
and klavier only became more human in the chapter he adopted the puppies and kittens onwards....
but at least he wasn't a complete ass......but he was still....portrayed pretty badly....i cannot wait until i can rip this fic a new......okay that feels WAY too harsh than it needed to be...



wow really? I'm older than my brother by a year or two...but he's a big ass though...

[We start off once more at the Sporking Theatre, where our lovely sporkers are still blissfully unaware of why they have been brought here today.]

Phoenix: So is there a particular reason we're here, then?

Speakers: The Management requests that none of the sporkers comment on the descriptive narration.

Apollo: Well, whatever. It better be a good reason, seeing as how I've been teleported all the way from Khura'in.

Athena: What?! How'd they do that, Apollo?

Apollo: They have a special teleporting machine just to bring people from anywhere, any time.

Athena: Any time? ...Does that mean I can see my mother once more?

Everyone: ...

Speakers: ...Um, if we find a fic that requires her presence, we'll let you know.

Athena: Gracias! I knew you guys still had a heart in you!

Edgeworth: Then can you also permit us to leave?

Speakers: Nice try. Now, sit in your seats like good sporkers.

Ema: What're we sporking today?

Speakers: Sit. Down. Now.

Phoenix: Alright, alright. We heard you.

[And thus all the sporkers proceed to sir down on their seats. However, as they do, cuffs come up from the handles of their seats, constricting them to the seats. The only exception is Athena, who for some reason still remains in her seat anyway.]

Apollo: Hey! What's this?!

Edgeworth: Nggh! I can't seem to get out. Not these things again!

Ema: Damn. Scientifically speaking, I don't think these are manually removable.

Phoenix: Athena! What are you doing? Help us!

Athena: I-I...what?!

Speakers: The Management requests that Athena Cykes not move from her seat, lest our deal is broken.

Athena: Y-you mean?

Speakers: You won't get to see your mother ever again.

Athena: ...

Speakers: Good. Either way, you won't be able to help your friends. Those cuffs will stay on until either I say so, or we have a blackout. Those things are powered to stay on, you see. So no funny business, eh?

Apollo: Oh, no! Athena! Do something!

Athena: ...

Speakers: What? You're going to tell her to abandon all hope of ever seeing her mother ever again? And for what, cuffs that won't budge? Heh heh.

Edgeworth: Management, you've taken a great deal of caution to make sure we can't leave. Why is that?

Speakers: Simple. Because of what you're sporking today.

Ema: Which is?

Speakers: You know, it's been two years now.

Apollo: Two years? Since what?

Phoenix: ...Oh, no. I didn't think you'd-

Speakers: We never forget promises, Mr. Wright. Your time is up. Today, you shall be sporking the final two chapters of the Baby Chronicles.

Edgeworth: NGHOOOOOOOOOOGGNNHHGGGHH! penalty (Just that alone took away three fourths of my truth bar...)

Apollo, Ema, and Phoenix: NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Athena: The what? Sounds like a cute name to me.

Speakers: I agree. I don't know why you're making such a big fuss about it.

Apollo: (Coming from the same guy who handcuffed us to make sure we stay here? Still, this is bad.) I thought we were done with this already!

Speakers: We said Mr. Wright and 'a few others' would come for this part. I stuck true to my word.

Edgeworth: What are you talking about?! The only people you didn't bring back now are Lana Skye and Trucy Wright!

Speakers: And Klavier. And Lang. And Kay.

Phoenix: They weren't actually sporkers!

Speakers: Stop being so semantic. Oh, wait. You're a lawyer. You can't do that.

Phoenix: (Is that really the best they could come up with?)

Athena: I'm sure this won't be that bad, Mr. Wright. If you want, we can have a therapy session after this.

Phoenix: ...Sure. Why not.

Speakers: Enough chattering already. Roll the stupid thing!



Athena: *gasp* Congrats, you two! How come you didn't inform me earlier?

Apollo: This is fiction, Athena.

Ema: I still can't believe we're actually doing this right now.

Edgeworth: sigh



Athena: No way! Ema is way older than that!

Phoenix: They're talking about the babies fic-Apollo and fic-Ema had in the previous chapter. Triplets, to be exact.

Edgeworth: Nine chapters in and I still have made no appearance in this fic.

Speakers: Oh, about that...you never do.

Edgeworth: Then why am I here?!

Speakers: You're the Spork Bitch, that's why.

Edgeworth: (In other words, they just like to torture me.)



Athena: Ach nein! Did I miss the chapters where the babies were one month old, and then two, and then three, then four and five?

Ema: Scientifically speaking, no. This is the first chapter we've seen since fic-me gave birth.

Athena: How is that scientific?!

Apollo: Ah, yeah. I forgot that you don't know Ema very well. I'll explain when we come back.

Edgeworth: Dear God. So the previous chapters were made with an actual solid script and general plan? If that's the case, then I do not want to know what the author 'winging it' looks like.



Phoenix: At least they're doing research now.

Edgeworth: Why are we spending so much time on this author's note anyway?

Speakers: You got us.



Athena: Cadence?

Ema: That was the girl, I believe. The other two were Aaron and Xavier.

Apollo: If the other two grew rather quickly, doesn't that make Cadence the only one growing at a normal rate? I don't see why fic-Ema is so bothered by this.

Edgeworth: The author seems to have confused a comma for a period. They are not the same, however.

[There's some more filler dialogue about how Ema is rather cranky and irritable. She experiences what others have deemed 'Baby Blues'.]

Athena: Sheesh. Someone really needs a therapy session.

Phoenix: Yeah, really. If only she knew you existed.

Ema: Baby Blues? Really.



Ema: And there's the first line break. Unsurprisingly soon after the chapter started.

Athena: Is that a thing for this author?

Ema: Oh, you have no idea.

Edgeworth: At least the author hasn't forgotten any commas yet.



Edgeworth: ...I spoke too soon.

Phoenix: So Ema's a worse Lana now?

Athena: Lana? That your sister, Ema?

Ema: Yeah. Former Chief Prosecutor, you know.

Athena: What?! So she's your predecessor, Mr. Edgeworth?

Edgeworth: One of them, yes.



Athena: Assistant? What does your sister do for a living, Ema?

Ema: Well, I don't know for sure. But in another one of this author's fics, she somehow was the Chief Prosecutor again.

Edgeworth: She loooks better? Odd choice of words there. How does she know she looks better at this point of time in the fic, exactly?

Apollo: Pretty pretentious on fic-Lana's part.



Athena: Oh, yeah! That bracelet of yours!

Ema: Huh? What's this all about?

Apollo: Oh, right. Guess you've never really seen it in action.



Ema: What? I'm not going to just believe that! Don't give me that pseudoscientific bull-

Phoenix: Actually, there is a reason why this happens. You see, Apollo's bracelet is made of a special alloy that changes in size in response to body heat, allowing it to fit perfectly around the wearer's arm. When someone wearing it senses a nervous habit, they become slightly tense as well, causing minuscule muscle contractions that they wouldn't normally notice. But since the it's always a perfect fit, they can feel it tightening slightly when they become tense.

Ema: Oh. That's...actually quite interesting.

Athena: So that's how it works!

Apollo: H-how do you know this, Mr. Wright?

Phoenix: ..Shadi Smith told me.

Apollo: ...You know, if you don't want to tell me, you can just say so.



Edgeworth: Postnatal is one word, author. The second sentence also runs on for far too long.



Athena: Who's this friend anyway?

Ema: Dunno. They don't exist. Just an original character of the author's.



Ema: Ah, nevermind. They're confusing her with the coroner my sister had been friends with. I stayed with her in Europe when I was studying.



Athena: Oui, Ema. I see. They definitely overuse their line breaks.

[While the Skye Sisters argue about Ema going on vacation, Apollo puts on some music, plays with the babies and tells them stories to block out the noise from outside.]

Apollo: Geez Ema, you certainly can scream- *ba-tonk* Ow! (She snackoo'd me.)

Phoenix: Heh.

Edgeworth: I really doubt that just putting music and telling stories would block out that much noise.

Speakers: Anyway, after a while...



Athena: Ah, riverside hotels...

Edgeworth: (Reminds me of when I had to stay at the von Karma estate..)

Ema: Good times, those were. Ah, to be back to Europe again...

Athena: You've been there too? high fives

Ema: high fives

Apollo: (I feel left out of all this.)



Phoenix: Well, I'm sure Trucy won't let you get away with that. laughs

Athena: Does this author even know how our Agency functions? Mon deiu...

[Apollo is lonely for two paragraphs.]

Everyone: ...

Apollo: Wow. Really?

Athena: Now that's what I call filler.

Edgeworth: I'm a bit relieved that we skipped those two paragraphs.



Edgeworth: And now the author has forgotten

Phoenix: Yeah! Periods are important

Speakers: The Management requests that Mr. Wright refrain from meta-jokes.



Athena: Whaaat?!

Edgeworth: This is it. The final chapter.

Ema: We're still stuck at six months though.

Apollo: And what's this about a cat?

Phoenix: Ssh, stop talking so we can get on with this already.



Athena: Wait. You too aren't married?

Phoenix: Sssh. We don't want more of this stuff again.



Athena: This is why you should all visit the Wright Anything Agency™ today! You can get some therapy...

Phoenix: Get some things fixed...

Apollo: Or in some rare cases, actually ask for some legal advice or even defense in court!

Ema: Whoa.

Edgeworth: Did you actually rehearse all that, Wright?

Athena: It was MY idea to add on the trademark!

Phoenix: I don't recall asking you to word your part that way, Apollo...

Apollo: Yeah, well...I kinda miss my job, in a way. At least it doesn't involve yak milking...



Athena, Apollo, and Phoenix: They've been trouble.

[Apollo types up some reports, but Cadence deletes them 'accidentally'.]

Apollo: Reports? Seems pretty vague to me. I'd say it was referring to some legalese paperwork, but I never really did get to type many of those at my time there.

Athena: You should really come back, Apollo. We all miss you.

Widget: She hates being a magician's assistant!

Athena: Widget! Mein gott!

Apollo: She's using you now, huh? Heh. Have fun with that.

Athena: It's really not that fun.

Apollo: Don't worry, I'm sure it'll be fine. You'll get used to it over time.

Athena: Grr..

Widget:〈(*´Д｀*)〉



Phoenix: Speak of the devil!

Apollo: That's not very funny.

Athena: It's hilarious!



Phoenix: Um, okay? It's not like the grass is really going to harm them.

Ema: There's a slight chance there might be bugs in or near them, scientifically.



Phoenix: That's what I thought.

Edgeworth: Leaking green is a strange description for a solid and living plant.

Athena: Grass is a living creature?

Apollo: I mean, it's a plant, technically.

Ema: Scientifically.



Athena: Dios mío! How has Xavier suddenly become a fully grown female sheep?!

Apollo: They forgot the n, Athena. It's not that hard to comprehend.



Edgeworth: Why are they suddenly so emotional?

Athena: Babies can be weird like that.

Ema: Emotionally speaking, yes.



Athena: ...

Widget: Gross!



Apollo: How did she know that? I wasn't very...interested in discusssing my past. At least, until when Dhurke showed up that fateful day.

Ema: Understandable. MUNCH MUNCH chew chew chew...



Apollo: Ha! I wish I could go to sleep that easily.

Edgeworth: Please don't say that word in my presence. shudder

Phoenix: Right. That one's hard to remove from your mind.



Athena: So this is the titular cat?

Ema: Apparently so.

Phoenix: That cat is living life on the edge, jumping across balconies like that.

Apollo: Why isn't Ema back to work yet at this point? I don't think the postnatal depression is really a problem for her anymore. We could hire someone else as a babysitter.

Phoenix: Like Trucy?

Apollo: ...Never mind.



Athena: She should take off those muddy shoes first.

Widget: How unhygienic!



Edgeworth: What declaration is she making? I believe the correct phrase is 'greeted'.



Athena: Huh?

Ema: What?

Athena: Oh, nothing. It's just...I can't imagine you reading those kinds of books to your children.

Apollo: laughs Yeah, she'd probably read them some science related book.

Phoenix: Advanced Forensics; chapter one.

[Everybody has a good laugh, save Edgeworth.]



Athena: Whoa, the cat's shedding real fast.

Ema: I didn't know that was scientifically possible. At least, at this rate.



Athena: Wait, what?

Phoenix: I guess that mound of fur WAS the cat.

Edgeworth: What a bizzare description.

[Ema decides to ask the other occupants of the apartment they live in about the cat, but gets no such luck. After that, the scene ends]



Apollo: One, I know what a cat is. Two, I doubt the cat can kiss me from the floor.

Athena: Ooh, what's this? Are you a cat person, Apollo?

Widget: (^ω^)

Apollo: W-what?! Of course not! blushes



Ema: I don't see the problem. Cats are rather docile, unless protecting their kittens. I doubt it'd mind the presence of the kids.

Apollo: There are exceptions, but I get your point.

Athena: How do you know that, Apollo? Are you gasp a crazy cat lady?!

Apollo: What the?! No! There's always an exception to something! (I don't like where this is going...)

[Xavier giggles with delight at the cat. Apollo and Ema are surprised.]



Athena: You two aren't the best parents.

Apollo and Ema: Agreed.



Athena: So far, the best thing I can say about this fic is that you two aren't out of character.

Apollo: It's debatable. I can't say they're exactly conserving the spirit of the games.

Speakers: ...

Apollo: Huh? (That's strange. How come..?)

Phoenix: (...They're not responding? Weird. I guess they're, um...)

Edgeworth: Management! Are you there?

Speakers: Huh? Oh, right. Stop breaking the fourth wall.

Athena: That was direct.

Speakers: ...

Apollo: (And now silence again.)

Phoenix: (What're they doing over there?)

[Apollo makes dinner and everybody just relaxes for a while.]



Apollo: Oh, right. I guess these people are the cat's owners.



Edgeworth: Churchill? What an odd name for a cat.

Phoenix: (Coming from a guy who named his dog 'Pess'.)



Ema: You know, now that I think about it, Justice is an awfully well fitting surname for a lawyer.

Apollo: The same surname as my father, Jove.

Phoenix: (I still think 'Wright' is a better surname for a lawyer.)

[They make small talk.]



Edgeworth: Is that what this was leading to?

Ema: Meh.



Athena: What do you really need for a cat?

Apollo: Some cat food, a bowl for food, another for water, a sandbox, a scooper for feces, and some toys.

Athena: Whoa, you know your stuff, Polly! Are you sure-

Apollo: No I'm not! (I really don't want this to go any further.)

Athena: Fine. Whatever, then.

Widget: (~ω-)



Phoenix: A full grown dog? That's a lot of responsibility.

[The lights come on.]

Athena: It's over now?

Edgeworth: Thank goodness.

Phoenix: It was better than I anticipated. Surprisingly not that bad, honestly.

Apollo: Yeah, well, that's nice and all, but these cuffs are still on.

Ema: Any help, Management?

Speakers: ...

Edgeworth: MANAGEMENT!

Speakers: Oh? Huh? It's over? Good. Sorry about that.

Phoenix: It's okay. Just remove these cuffs.

Speakers: Oh, no. I'm afraid I can't do that yet.

Apollo: Huh?

Athena: What?

Speakers: The deal's on, Ms. Cykes. I found a fic which we could use your mother for. A good number of them, actually. All one-offs.

Athena: What? That's nice, I guess.

Phoenix: But where could you get so many one-offs involving Athena's mo- ....Oh. Oh no.

Apollo: Wait a second. Don't tell me-

Speakers: All fresh from the Kink Meme.

Ema: WH-

Apollo: -HAA-

Phoenix: -AAAT-

Athena: THE-

Edgeworth: HELL?! What are you spewing?! Leave us be for today! We're done!

Speakers: Hmm, you know, now that I think about it, we haven't had a Kink Meme Special in a while.

Phoenix: STOP! STOP!

Ema: Anything but that!

Apollo: Yeah, that's enough! Let us go home!

Athena: The deal's off! No more of this!

Speakers: Too late. I've made my mind. Let's get this started, baby!

[And sadly, that is all we have to show for today. What will our poor sporkers have to endure now? Find out what happens....next time!]

Yeah, it should be.



I believe an image of Calisto Yew wouldn't be out of place here.



It was? Alright...
Mediocre, but for your first sporking, I'd say it's fine.



I meant are you currently considering a sequel? ... which it seems like you are...
An OC? Oh my, I think I'm already dreading it.



Athena?
Holding back comments on that till I reach that sporking.



Thank you! I'll try my best.
The fic is actually okay to read, but it felt like one I could take. But that sporking will take a long time in coming, I'm sure.



Ah, Dangling Granpas. Apologies I didn't get it the first time... but I still managed to get it somehow.



*goes and reads it* Certainly quite... ingenious. I'm sure I've never seen such a plot before, with a resolution to the mystery with this twist.



That sporking was faster than expected... But still nice to see!

It does sound kinda better with the number.



The art of being forgotten has been passed down the Payne family line for generations!

(... Couldn't resist the urge...)



May she indeed. Otherwise... ouch.



They can be unique, but I just wish they had that kind of... charm he has, even if it appears in different ways. (don't know how to explain that)



Yeah...



Oh, that makes more sense now. Thanks!



That's completely okay. I meant more specific DR references, but those seem like stuff anyone outside of that could say.



Oh. That's a quite difficult dream to fulfil...
You have ideas for any AA fics?



Very short-lived, if I remember correctly.



He actually did that? (I only read some of it... and thought you were sarcastic then...)



Portrayed badly is right. You're sporking this fic, right?
That doesn't really sound that harsh. It's easy to understand, especially if you like Klavier...



Yeah. My brother can be an ass at times, but he's extremely kind at others... keeps confusing me...

Now since I've finally completed it-

Note: My review may be slightly biased by the fact that I was really excited to see this sporking ever since I read the fic, because Edgeworth was just so... *shakes head* Anyways, onwards to it!

First of all, I'd like to thank you a whole bunch for bringing in all of the sporkers. I was so glad to see all of them there!


Epic. I loved the reactions... from the introduction itself...
And not to forget the other addition - Gerald! That was certainly a pleasant surprise.



Can't even lay off them for a moment, can you?



Edgey's reaction is gold.

Really liked the whole conversation before the true sporking itself.



This whole part is again, done well.
I believe Phoenix's thought can be applied to both the whip and the nitpicking. Which is amazing.



Every time I read this...



I tried my best not to quote the whole bit, but I failed. I love how Phoenix did that to Edgeworth - it was beautiful. Simply beautiful.

(This little into the sporking, and I feel I'm running out of adjectives...)



Oh, Gumshoe...



They'll find shit from that.

Can't believe Franziska didn't react to that though. What was she doing/feeling then?



Now I can imagine Franziska throwing people into jail for 'foolishness'. I wonder who'll be left in the country then?

And to repeat: Oh, Gumshoe...



Edgeworth is putting so much thought into those four lines than I did for the whole fic. Wow.



Now that I'm actually focusing on the fic, this mental image is really strange. Why did I even try thinking it...?



Kay's here? Yes!



Wow, the sporkers have really grown a lot, now that I think of it. From Edgey and Nick nearly crying in Taste the Rainbow to both regularly sporking fics far worse...



Just, oh my gods. He did all of this in a few weeks' time, didn't he? Also, is there any particular order to the events except for those from AAI2?
Also also, why is Phoenix silent? Shouldn't he have something to say (or at least a reaction) for that?



Nothing to say- *quietly laughs*



And Phoenix is the only person who remembers that.



Just the expected reaction. And we get an Edgey-noise in the actual sporking! Though to be honest, I kinda liked Edgey's logic at that moment...



That's somewhat sound logic, right? Like, they didn't find much evidence at the crime scene when there should be some, and reexamination might bring hidden evidence to light. Though Edgeworth did counter it, so my words are completely pointless...



Loved it. Especially with the others' reactions to it.



He's asking that now? That should have been asked when Phoenix managed to get away (and win his case) with cross-examining a parrot...



Only now did I realize that this sporking happens a very short time after the events of AAI2...
Franziska's opinion on Logic Chess is apparently not at all favourable.



All your fics are belong to them.



It's very good that Phoenix didn't say that aloud with Franziska there.



Maybe the ice-cream salesman was de Killer? But then why would...



This seems like the perfect fic for Franziska. Really.



The whole thing seems like too much to quote, so I'll just say it here - that whole conversation was amazing.
Gumshoe, this is Barry-land, where such events are to be expected.



Suddenly reminded of 'larrys childrens story'.



Aww~



Odds and Ends, as(s) usual:

From Franziska in the beginning: "What foolish reason did you have to bringing me here?!" - 'to bringing me'? I think that should be 'to bring me'.

"I'll have a sit down." - is this supposed to have a hyphen between 'sit' and 'down'?

"bequeath upon your services" - I feel that's wrong, though I'm not sure. 'bequeath your services to him' sounds better.

whips the screen gets electrocuted mildly - although this makes complete sense, a comma (or 'and') would be helpful...?



Overall Thoughts:
Amazing sporking, and really loved the appearance of all of the sporkers, as well as Gerald. Franziska was my favourite in this, with everything that she said. Keep up the excellent work!



Every time I complete one of these, a new sporking seems to show up...

Whoa there. Slow down, missy.



If only there was a smiley of her.



I think the reason why I like Cowboy Up more is because I'm more familiar with the AJ cast by this point (Apollo, Ema, Trucy, Klavier) than I am with the OT cast. And also because of the fic's nature. Good freaking grief.



Do not steal



Heh heh heh heh heh EHEHEHEHEHE yes. Have fun with that.



Good luck!

Which fic were you referring to, again?



Ikr barrylawn is my waifu



I mean, there wasn't much left of the fic, so I felt that I might as well have completed it for all to see.



Hee hee hee hee...HEE HAW!

Sorrynotsorry



You're welcome. I did have trouble writing Franziska and sometimes Gumshoe, but it seems that you enjoyed them regardless.



Hooray for Gerald!

While we're still speaking of the jackass, I'm going to confirm that he WILL make an appearance in my next sporking. So look forward to that. ;)



As(s) if.



Platinum.



Good to know that all that filler wasn't for nothing!

Now that I think about it, I do always make really long beginnings and endings. I guess it's because just *sporkers enter/leave* feels rather vanilla.



Whoa. I didn't even notice that.







Don't worry, that happens to me all the time.

I was originally going to penalise Edgeworth for this, but then I realised it's a tired concept by this point. So I just put him...on edge.

Sorrystillnotsorry







Ba-dum shiiiiit.

Sorrybutnevernotstillnotsorry



I mean, with what she saw on screen, wouldn't it be a tiny bit plausible that she was speechless?

Yeah I forgot she existed for this part sorry(lolnotsorry)



Herself.

And to repeat:



How else do you expect him to find the ass?! This is super serious business, and the most important part of this is to identify what the fic considers 'the ass'.



So you just skimmed through the fic and decided to send it to me?

Don't worry I skimmed through it too



Hoor(K)ay!

Sorrybutalwaysnotsorry

This is actually my first time writing Kay normally. I had some trouble with her in some parts, and had to make her leave after a while. Glad to see you liked her.



Poor guys.



Chronological order. I-2->I-3->I-1->I-5->AAI2 (whose playing order=chronological order, other than some parts of the third case surprisingly).



I mean, he knows who Kay is rather well. I assume Edgeworth already to,d him of his adventures.

Also I forgot he existed again whoops



Phoenix is always rather good at pointing out what should be obvious.



What do you mean? I make him go 'NGOOH' all the time. Just not as often here as he doesn't get penalised once.

Don't worry I loved his logic too <3



I always like it when the sporkers' reactions line up with the fic. Makes it feel more genuine.



That's different and actually legal. A parrot CAN actually be used to determine the truth of a case, as it can mimic human speech. The cardboard badge, however, is not only horribly fake, but also is illegal. Huge difference.



You didn't notice when Edgey recalled the game's events in quick succession?

I mean, when you word it like that, Franzy won't like it.



Ha ha, the Kink Meme. I'm going through it now as we speak, and gosh is it a great place for fic's. Already stumbled upon some gold mines. If you find any that might be worth sporking, please do contact me.



That would've been bad(ass).

Sorrynotsorry



But they don't know each other.



She really likes ranting about foolishly foolish fools.



That was me trying to emulate the endings of the games there.

Poor old Gummy.



That story in a nutshell:



Did I do a good?



:,)



I meant to say 'for', actually.



Yeah. Donno how that escaped me.



I wasn't happy with the wording of this one anyway, so I'll fix it, thanks for that.



Probably.



Glad to hear.



Aw, don't worry you only have Turnabout egg, the really bad Phoenix/Angelique one, and the final part of the Baby Chronicles left!

Sadly, while May was a good month for sporking, I'll be returning to work in June, and won't have much time to spork from then on until much later. I'll try and finish the other sporking before that, I guess. Have fun reading the others.

i know...



because of course....CURSE YOU ASOUGIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!! eat your chicken...



ouchi payne (couldn't resist)



well we just have to wait and see for the english release to see if they do have the same ecentricity of Monokuma



yes, and each chapter is split into three sections. "Daily life" where you go around making friends with the characters trying to understand them and the usual shenanigans. "Deadly life" which is the investigations and "class trial" which is....well the trial segemnts.



oh okay.



Well it's not that difficult......the only roadblock in my way is good mic quality.
i have a few, i made prompts on the kinkmeme, only one of them got filled....everything else was ignored.....'tis my fate because i couldn't write them myself.....
i also sprung an idea last night....where Igor from persona 5 forges contracts with each ace attorney char and we see their velvet room, the chapters would range depending on the character and the room from hilariously stupid to seriously symbolic.
(velvet room theme not included)



yeah true.



hehe, what can i say?



yeah i'm sporking it maybe during or after i finish sporking BAROK VAN ZEIKS FIND LUV11!



my butt-whole bro's star sign was cancer the crab.
and i was surprised when i my mum told me the traits matched

If you're talking about the double post, it was high time I completed that review.



If only. Poor AAI characters...



Oh... What about now?
And yeah, considering MRA was written in jest and Cowboy Up was quite serious and... kinda scary with its message. still can't believe Neil did that...



...



Thank you.

And I never named that fic. I'm still wondering whether I'm up to it (and whether to choose a different one), so I decided to remain silent.



Okay then...



Oh. Now since that's over, when can we expect the next sporking?



Readying myself for what will follow.



You did? It didn't seem like that to me at all.

(Though I don't think I'm the best of judges at in-characterness...)



How did you choose Gerald's name? I mean, was there any reason behind it?

And by next, you mean the Kink Meme Special, don't you? I'm looking forward to it a lot.



... It was my foally to ass-ume otherwise.



Platinum gold.



It's always fun to have filler between characters, because it really gives a good start to the whole sporking. And sometimes, there are gems in the beginning filler. Literal gems.
And yeah, that is rather vanilla. The ending lends a lot to the feeling we have once we finished (to make it clearer, 'In The Role of a Gavin' had a very sweet friendship finish that lets go on a happy note).



I was actually confused on which of the two you meant, before I realised it could more easily be applied to the whip.







Running out of adjectives? I usually try to word it in a different way to avoid too much adjectives, but there are times when you need one to describe it. And this sporking gave me a lot of those moments.



*sighs*
It was really worth it, though.



Aww~



That apology was bullshit.



Yup, she would be speechless, but then I would expect her to whip Edgeworth for his foolish methods of investigation.



She'd be out of a job then. And that's the least of the problems.

And to repeat: Aww~



Yes, the case of the ass is a big problem, but Edgeworth could just accept that his logic cannot be applied to the world of barrylawn - let it go and move on. That's what I did, anyway.



Well, umm... Yes...

Good to know that.



'Kay, I can take this Faraday.



... It was...?
Kay's appearance was as dynamic as expected, and I like how she immediately gave Gumshoe a refill. And even if she did leave after some time, at least she did appear. That's more than enough for me.



They have learnt to suffer in the despair.
There is no escape in the Management's care.
There is only-
Sporking.

(Just was in the mood to do this.)



Ohhh, I didn't notice that. I was thinking about playing order, rather than chronological one. It makes a lot more sense now. Those parts of the third case were flashbacks... though we still played through them...
...why the surprise?



That makes perfect sense. But... Maya could have asked him why he seems so unruffled by that?



Extremely. In everything.

(Though suddenly I get this image of 'You are lovers, aren't you?')



I meant in this sporking. Otherwise, yeah.

I was really wondering how Edgey was going to get himself out of that mess when he came up with that. And it was amazing.



That it does.



So they can - the more you know...
... Edgeworth was talking about the legality of the action? I thought that dialogue was more about the insanity that happens, which is like... every case ever.
Though seeing the cardboard badge does make one wonder how Tigre managed to do it...



I believed Edgeworth was just remembering all of those cases that quick because of how they happened together and was kind of a big deal... I mean with the Ambassador of Allebahst, the PIC Chairman and a smuggling ring...

There doesn't seem to be many things Franzy likes.



I will. Though I'm sure anything I find will have already been taken by you, considering I don't go there that much...



Asstrology will not favour Phoenix.



That's why I trailed off like that. Wondering if the two could have some relation...
(This is insane, but bear with me-) What if de Killer had been asked to assassinate Tigre by somebody who borrowed money, and Tigre caught wind of that and then attacked the ice-cream stand in order to break de Killer's disguise?



She doesn't usually get the chance to do such an extensive rant on asses, so she has to take everything she gets.



Oh. Makes sense.

And Gummy is always poor.



You did a brilliant.
It really captured the essence of the fic, and can be used as a simple short summary for it.



I just suggested the first thing that came to mind.



It's easy to miss a hyphen. It wasn't that much of an issue.



I had to check to see how bequeath could be used, since I was a bit confused on that.
You're welcome.



From you, that is. There's still 'BAROK VAN ZEIKS FIND LUV11!'
And that amounts to four, and I'm sure by the time I complete one, you'll bring out the Special.



You have work? ... You always seemed like an insanely free spirit to me. Take your time and scour for the best (sporkable) fics possible.
And I know I'll have fun.

[...

5 Sporkers...

5 Fics...

5 Anonymous Prompts from the Kink Meme...

And 5 days since the 5th part of the Baby Chronicles!

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome... to the 5th Kink Meme Special! Give it up, everybody!]

Apollo: You know we can't clap, right? We're cuffed to our seats here.

Edgeworth: Even if we could, we wouldn't. This is a travesty.

Phoenix: Wait, 5 days since we sporked the Baby Chronicles? How does that work?

Ema: Scientifically speaking, we couldn't have survived that long without food or water at minimum.

Athena: And if my mother's co-sporking with us, then there's more than 5 sporkers!

Widget: This narrator's spewing lies!

Speakers: The Management requests that all the sporkers not be spoilsports. We've been looking forward to this for a while. Additionally, the narrator spent a really long time coming with that, so please don't hurt their feelings.

[*sniffle* I thought it was good...]

Phoenix: Look, we've been waiting for you to put on the fics already. We've had more than enough time to explain to Athena about the workings of the Kink Meme as well as what this special is.

Athena: And I wish I didn't know now.

Apollo: Hey! It was way worse for me to explain it all to you!

Speakers: There's been some trouble with the teleportation device. It's having trouble bringing people in. If you ask me, this reeks of sabotage. Thankfully, we've extended a request for a special guest to come in. They'll be coming anytime now.

Athena: ... (So much for my mother appearing then...)

Speakers: Don't worry, you will still get to see your mother.

Athena: What?! How?

Speakers: Well-

???: Oh, I see how it is. That's why I'm here, huh?

Phoenix: ..! (That voice!) turns around M-Maya!?

Maya: Oh, hey Nick! How's it going?

Apollo: What?!

Athena: Uh...

Ema: MUNCH MUNCH MUNCH

Edgeworth: ?!

Phoenix: Not too good. Apparently I've been cuffed to this seat for five days-

Speakers: The Management requests that Mr. Wright not think too much about that.

Phoenix: Yeah, yeah, whatever. Anyway why're you-? ....Oooh. I see.

Maya: Figured it out, haven't you?

Phoenix: Yeah.

Athena: What're you two talking about, Boss?

Phoenix: What? Oh, it's simple, really. Spirit channeling.

Apollo: ! So you're going to channel her?!

Maya: Yep. I guess that's why you called me, huh, Management?

Speakers: Got it in one.

Maya: Hmph. I see how it is, then. Goodbye.

Ema: Wait! Maya!

Athena: Where are you going?!

Maya: Isn't it obvious? I'm getting the heck outta here!

Apollo: What? No! You can't just leave us here!

Maya: Sorry, Apollo. But I won't bother. If I leave, then the Management has no choice but to let you all go.

Athena: But! My mother-

Maya: We can do that in private, Athena. Ever been to Kurain Village?

Speakers: No, no. We can't have that happening.

Maya: Oh yeah? And what're you going to do? I won't allow Pearl to just come here, and you'd be out of your mind if you'd try and summon Queen Amara.

Speakers: ...It's quite simple, really. Remember Gerald?

Phoenix: Gerald?

Edgeworth: (Him?)

Apollo: Who?

Maya: What? I thought he'd be dead by now.

Speakers: Oh, no. He's at a ripe old age now. We've been fattening him up ever since you last saw him. He's quite happy now.But if you're going to just up and leave...

Maya: ...No...you can't!

Speakers: Oh, we will.

Athena: Who's this guy, Boss?

Phoenix: Ssh!

Ema: Gerald, huh.

Maya: ... quietly sits down

Speakers: There's a good girl! Now, the name of the person you're going to channel is Metis Cykes. As for her face, I believe her daughter has a picture of her in her right side pant pocket?

Athena: Eh? How did you know?! gives photograph to Maya

Speakers: We have our ways. Now, you have all you need to know. Get on with it.

Maya: ...Metis Cykes, huh? She looks kind of like you, Athena.

Athena: ..Yeah.

Maya: .... murmur murmur

Ema: Huh? What's she-

Phoenix: Sssssh!

Maya: ...slumbering in the depths of the Twlight Realm...

Apollo: (This is going to be my first time actually seeing a person getting channeled!)

WOOOOSH

...

...

...


???: ...Where am I?

Phoenix: Oh..

Ema: My...

Apollo: Metis Cykes? (She looks almost the same!)

Athena: ...M-m-mm-mo-

Widget: MOOOOOOMMMMMYYYYYYYYYYY!

[And right as- ooh, my...this is...so sweet... *sniffle* Look at them hug each other! They're both in tears!]

Speakers: Narrator!

[Right! Sorry, sir. Um..yes! After a while, after both mother and daughter catch up on everything and wipe away their tears, Athena sits next to her and explains why they're here in the first place.]

Metis: I see. So, in essence, we have to watch what someone has written about us up there on the big screen?

Athena: sniff Got it in one.

Speakers: Now that we've got that all out of the way, let's get started!

Edgeworth: About time. It has been an hour since the narrator's introduction.

Apollo: (Sheesh, Athena's got a really good grip on her mother's hand. I don't blame her, though.)

Ema: So what's this fic about, scientifically?

Speakers: Good question. Here's the prompt.



Athena: ...

Metis: ...

Apollo: (I think I just saw Athena's grip loosen.)

Ema: Wait a minute. Is this case-?

Edgeworth: UR-1.

Ema: ..Ah. I see. MUNCH MUNCH MUNCH MUNCH

Phoenix: Um, well...I guess this has the potential to be interesting..?

Athena: Boss. No.

Speakers: I see you're all enthused. Let's start with the fic, then!



Athena: Oh god. Oh god.

Ema: That is a lot of blood.

Metis: ...Oh dear. I see. This is Simon covering for you?

Athena: nods briskly



Edgeworth: (That image is haunting...)

Athena: Ohgodohgodohgodohgod

Apollo: Um...Athena?

Phoenix: I don't think she's okay, Apollo.

Metis: Athena, dear? Calm down. It's not that bad.

Athena: IT'S YOU! Dead! On the seat!



Metis: Ah yes, Ponco. Is she still there at the space station?

Apollo: Yeah, and Clonco as well.

Phoenix: (Though Clonco's a bit glitchy...as well as a bit too attached to his mistress.)



Edgeworth: A hell indeed.



Metis: How long did they take to discover my body again?

Edgeworth: A surprisingly long time. I expect that will come up at the end of this fic.



Metis: Did they eventually get him off?

Ema: If I remember correctly, it was only last year that they let Prosecutor Blackquill free. They also convicted the Phantom. All thanks to Mr. Wright and his subordinates, of course.

Metis: Really? That is a relief. I owe you much then, Mr. Wright.

Phoenix: Huh? Oh no, it was nothing. Eh heh heh. (Thank god Pearl isn't here to see this.)



Apollo: I'd say Athena's hair is more orange than red, if you ask me.

Phoenix: (Not Dahlia red, at least,)



Athena: sniffle

Apollo: ? Are you-

Athena: I'M FINE, YOU JERK FACE!

Apollo: Oh, whoa! Okay! (She puts my Chords of Steel to shame!)

Athena: And 'Simey'?! I'm not Bucky Whet!

Metis: Ah, is he still friends with him?

Athena: For some reason, yeah.



Metis: sigh I really do regret not letting you socialise more, Athena.

Athena: Aw, mama! I still had Junie, at least.



Metis: How is Aura, incidentally?

Athena: Huh? Well...um...

Apollo: She's, er...

Phoenix: It's kinda hard to explain right now.



Athena: ...

Apollo: (She's really holding back her tears on this one.)



Metis: Detectives?

Edgeworth: Ah, yes. Two policemen and a staff member of GYAXA discovered the body initially.

Phoenix: One of whom was Bobby Fulbright.

[The lights come on.]

Apollo: Wait, that's it?!

Ema: Meh, it was tolerable.

Edgeworth: An interesting insight into Prosecutor Blackquill's mind at the time of the incident, at the very least.

Phoenix: Why did you show us this again?

Speakers: To fulfill our deal, of course! Though for some reason, Ms. Cykes doesn't look too happy.

Athena: YOU JERKS!

Apollo: (Oh. Is that why?)

Speakers: But we fulfilled our deal! Tch, I see how it is then. Eject it!

[Suddenly, a reddish glowing stone drops down from the ceiling onto Metis Cyke's lap.]

Metis: ? What is this?

Phoenix: Huh? A Magatama of Parting? Oh no.

Athena: Wait! NO! MOTHER! THERE'S STILL SO MUCH WE HAVEN'T TALKED A-

WOOSH

...

...

...

Maya: Whoa. Why are you looking at me like that, Athena?

Athena: Huh? Oh, it's nothing. walks back to her original seat

Maya: Alright? Ulp. I'm feeling a bit woozy for some reason.

Speakers: That's unfortunate. But you still have more to go; more spirits to channel.

Maya: WHAAAAT?!

Apollo: groan Who is it this time?

Speakers: I believe you know him very well, Mr. Justice. A man by the name of...Dhurke Sahdmadhi.

Apollo: DHURKE?!

Athena: What? Haven't you seen Dhurke at all since that case?

Apollo: sigh No. Too many cases recently. No time for spirit channeling, especially not from Queen Amara.

Edgeworth: First Ms. Cykes's mother, now Mr. Justice's foster father. I'm sensing a pattern here.

Phoenix: Yeah, what next? Mia?

Maya: sigh Dhurke it is, then. Not like I have much of a choice right now...

Speakers: Good. In the meantime, here's the prompt of our next fic.

Athena: Well, at least it can't get any worse than what we just saw, right?



Apollo: ...Goddammit.

Athena: ...

Widget: I take back what I said!

Phoenix: Yeah, now this is more of the stuff I'm used to seeing on the Kink Meme.

Edgeworth: ...Ngh! penalty (I don't think my truth bar can take any more than this..!)

???: Huh? Apollo? What am I doing here?

Apollo: DHURKE!

Phoenix: Um..

Dhurke: Oh, you too, Mr. Wright? And you brought Ms. Cykes, Detective Skye, and even the Chief Prosecutor along! Is this some kind of cinema hall?

Apollo: Yeah, um...about that..

[A few minutes later...]

Dhurke: Oh, I see! Hah hah hah hah hah! A Sporking theatre, eh? Are there any sporks involved?

Speakers: No, but there should be. We're working on that.

Dhurke: Good to know, good to know! Ahahahahah!

Phoenix: It's weird seeing you like this, Mr. Sahdmadhi.

Dhurke: Yes, I suppose it's the topknot, isn't it?

Athena: And the robes.

Dhurke: But the best thing is that I can see with both eyes thanks to whoever is channeling me currently! My arm is also working properly.

Apollo: It's Maya Fey, Dhurke.

Dhurke: Ah, yes, Maya Fey. Good girl. ...Why are you handcuffed, son? Did the Ga'ran regime catch up to you?

Apollo: It's a long story.

Phoenix: Wait, so your eyes and arm work better now due to Maya? That's weird. Abbot Inmee still had his tattoos in his chest when he was being channeled.

Dhurke: That's a different story altogether, Mr. Wright. Did the Abbot have a huge hole in his abdomen? No, and for the same reason why I have no bullet holes in my chest. The markings on the original body remain while being channeled, but not injuries. So I still have the dragon tattoo on my hand,

Athena: Ooh, show it to us, Dhurke!

Dhurke: Very well then, young lady! holds up hand A Dragon never Yields.

Athena: Oooh! That's so cooool!

Phoenix: Ah. I see.

Dhurke: Good! You understand. It's great to see with two eyes again! Anyway, what're we 'sporking' now, son?

Apollo: Huh? ...Oh, it's the, uh, 'events' leading to Rayfa's conception.

Dhurke: ...You're kidding, right, son?

Speakers: ...Let's start the next fic!



Dhurke: Never mind what I said. I wish my left eye was still blind. In fact, I wish I was entirely blind.

Speakers: All Sporkers must pay attention to the screen at all times.

Athena: Eugh.

Widget: TMI!

Edgeworth: Rrggh! (You can do it, Miles! You can make it through this!)



Athena: Oh, um, I have that trouble all the time!

Phoenix: Not the best time to say this stuff, Athena.



Dhurke: This reminds me of the good old days, eh, Apollo?

Apollo: Please don't speak to me, Dhurke.



Ema: You know, seeing all this does certainly ruin Queen Amara's...serenity.

Apollo: You think?



Dhurke: Well, I am quite the demon in-

Apollo: Dhurke, please. No.



Phoenix: (Why am I seeing this?)

Athena: Why is she grabbing his hair again..?



Apollo: Did they just repeat the same paragraph?

Speakers: No, I think there was a problem with the film. Never mind. It's fixed now.



Dhurke: This is really overdoing it now.

Apollo: NOW?!



Edgeworth: Oh, good. The Management actually censors something for once. Good.

Apollo: That is one large censor bar, though.

Dhurke: Yes, well, I can't exactly deny it, can I? Ah hah hah hah hah hah hah!



Ema: This is too much.

Dhurke: You know what I say- a dragon never yields!

Phoenix: Um...

Apollo: groan Please don't make it worse, Dhurke.



Athena: Tastes...herself?

Ema: Scientifically speaking, I think that's-

Phoenix: No need to elaborate, Ema.

Edgeworth: Why is that 'c' written differently?

Spelaers: Ah, damn. The film again. One minute. ...There, done. Hopefully that should be enough.



Edgeworth: Ah, good. A disturbance.

Phoenix: Did someone catch the two lovebirds going at it?



Apollo: Why is Queen Amara such an irresponsible parent in this fic?

Dhurke: Where is Nahyuta, anyway? It's be nice to see him again. As he gotten rid of the Ga'ran regime?

Apollo: Yeah, long story. We'll talk about that later.

Speakers: Hm. I guess it wouldn't hurt to try the teleportation device again. Nnnkh! There. Is he..?

Edgeworth: ...! There's someone next to me!

Athena: That's definitely not Nahyuta.

Speakers: Darn. Guess the device is still malfunctioning. Who is this guy, anyway?

Ema: It appears to be an old fifty-something man wearing glasses and a yellowish suit. He has some weird hairdo too.

Apollo: (The guy kinda looks familiar to me..)

Phoenix: (Who the hell is this old man?)

Edgeworth: (Why is the janitor here?)

Athena: Anyway, I guess we should move on.



Apollo: Did Dhurke just vomit into her?

Dhurke: ...

[The lights come on.]

Apollo: Oh, thank goodness. That's it.

Dhurke: I must say, the actor in that certainly portrayed me well! Did you see that glare, Apollo?

Apollo:(How can you think that!?)

Speakers: Glad you enjoyed it. Now, EJECT!

Dhurke: Huh? OUCH! What's this?

Phoenix: (Something just landed on his head..?)

Dhurke: Huh..it's a Magatama of Parting..?

Apollo: ...Well, I guess it's time to say goodbye, Dhurke.

Dhurke: Yes, I suppose so! See you in Khura'in, son! Ah hah ha ha ha hah hah...

WOOSH

...

...

Athena: Maya! You're back!

Maya: Huh..? I guess I am.

Speakers: Good job! Here, have a burger!

[As the Management utters those words, a burger appears on Ms. Fey's lap.]

Maya: Ooh! Yum yum yum! starts biting into it

Edgeworth: So, what is next?

Phoenix: And who will Maya be channeling this time?

Maya: chewing sounds That'sh a good queshtion, Nick. chewing sounds

Speakers: No one, actually. That's all you have to do for today.

Maya: ..What the heck do you mean, 'that's all'?! I'm not leaving. Get me another fic now!

Speakers: ...You sure?

Maya: I'm chewing sounds plenty sure! Give me my own fic!

Ema: Maya, are you sure?

Maya: Yeah! After all this time, I don't even get to spend any time with you guys? No way, Josè!

Speakers: Very well then. I'm having some trouble finding the juicy stuff, but I guess this'll have to do.

Maya: finishes her burger Yeah, let's see it then!

Phoenix: (That was...insanely fast!)



Maya: Haha! I kinda like the sound of this one. Roll it already!

Speakers: Sheesh, fine. We heard you.

Apollo: ('We'..?)



Ema: That is highway robbery. MUNCH MUNCH MUNCH

Athena: I don't get it.

Maya: I think the joke here I see I've been put on trial for murder so many times that such a minor violation of the law doesn't affect me. Right, Nick?

Phoenix: Uh-huh.

Apollo: What?!

Ema: How many times has Maya even been on trial?!

Edgeworth: I believe her first time was in 2016, for the murder of Mia Fey.

Phoenix: Then the next year was the murder of Turner Grey.

Maya: Then was the incident at Hazakura Temple, though I technically wasn't the defendant in that one.

Ema: And then, most recently, you were held on trial in Khura'in for Tahrust Inmee's murder, correct?

Phoenix: There was also that one time in Labyrinthia, but I'm not sure if that counts-

Speakers: The Management requests the Sporkers to not ponder as to whether the crossover is canon. We're pretty sure it isn't.

Apollo: Well then, that adds to 4 times, at least!

Maya: Well, three and a half, since I wasn't the defendant in the Hazakura Temple incident.

Apollo: (I noticed that that's the only case she didn't mention the victim for. I wonder why..?)

Maya: Anyway, that's the joke of this fic. Moving on...



Edgeworth: There is supposed to be a comma there in the second sentence.

Apollo: Penny Pinche? Really?

Ema: It makes sense when you take in how much she fined Maya.

Maya: Not to be confused with Penny Nichols, of course!

Phoenix: (Who?)

Edgeworth: (That name sounds rather familiar, but I just can't place it..)



Ema: See! Even she know she that those fines are terrible!

Maya: licks fingers Yeah, I kinda like this lady.

Phoenix: Enjoyed your burger, Maya?

Maya: Mm, yeah. It was good. The meat tasted a bit different, but I liked it.

Speakers: Oh, that was Gerald.

Maya: ..WHAT THE HECK?! I thought he was still alive!

Speakers: Nah, we sent him to the slaughterhouse last Tuesday. We were just using him as a false collateral.

Maya: ... looks at hands

Phoenix: Maya? Are you okay?

Edgeworth: I believe we should move on, and fast.



Apollo: Wait, I didn't even notice this. Since when does Ms. Fey have a car?

Edgeworth: She certainly didn't have one the last time I met her. (When she jumped in front of my car to ask me to drive her...)

Maya: ... murmur murmur



Ema: So this is Maya's first fine?

???: Phoenix, what am I doing here?

Phoenix: !! M-Mia?! Chief?!

Mia: Well, I'm assuming Maya channeled me. It looks like it's been a whole, at least, since these robes perfectly fit me. Why, you look a little older too!

Phoenix: ...Y-yeah, it's been a while... (I guess Maya channeled her out of anger, huh.)

Mia: Oh, this place again. What are we watching this time?

Phoenix: Well, basically, Maya gets charged for a speeding ticket and..

Apollo: ? Athena. Is it just me or does Maya look a little different?

Athena: Yeah, a little. Though I guess this Gerald's death has made her a bit angry. Why do you ask?

Apollo: Well,it's just...Mr. Wright is talking to her so...respectfully.

Athena: As if he doesn't already do that?! Shame on you, Apollo! slap

Apollo: Ow!



Ema: I guess it must be a strange source of relief for her?

Mia: Four times?!

Phoenix: Technically five. But yeah, she's been through a lot, you know.



Edgeworth: That does not seem in character for Ms. Fey. She has great pride in her heirlooms, and would not simply sell them away just for a mere fine.

Phoenix: You're right. Even if she tried to, those heirlooms are technically worth zilch.

Mia: Honestly, authors nowadays.

Apollo: (At least it wasn't as bad as the last one.)



Phoenix: Now the author is exaggerating.



Mia: sigh

Athena: More like Japanifornia.

Speakers: The Sporkers will stop breaking the fourth wall.



Phoenix: And there I am.

Athena: You ride a cycle, boss?

Phoenix: Yes. Do you have a problem with it?

Athena: N-no, just...it's an odd form of transportation and all.

Phoenix: ...Toilet duty, tomorrow morning.

Athena: Y-yes, boss.

Mia: You're still obsessed with cleaning the toilet, Phoenix?

Phoenix: The office has to be hygienic, Chief!



Edgeworth: I think Wright is the victim of an innocent misunderstanding here.

Apollo: If Mr. Wright had two other cases, I'm pretty sure he'd give them to us.

Ema: That is, if this takes place when you're under him.

Phoenix: Nah, judging by the fact that Maya has a car, I'm pretty sure this takes place during our time.

Athena: It could be an AU, though.



Mia: I would think at least Maya would know that speeding in a construction zone wouldn't land her in jail.



Edgeworth: That should end with a question mark.



Phoenix: 'Fifth time'? Yeah, this takes place in our time.

Athena: OR she could be embellishing!



Maya: Geez, I wouldn't be that crazy.

Phoenix: Maya! You're back!

Maya: Yeah. sigh Sorry about that. It's just...Gerald..

Phoenix: Yeah, I get it. It's alright.

Maya: So where are we now?

Phoenix: Near the end.



Maya: So is the crossover canon in this fic?

Speakers: The Sporkers will refrain from breaking the fourth wall.

Ema: A long shift? But she was alone in that trap. Who would she tell it to?

[The lights come on.]

Maya: It's over?

Apollo: That was fast, at least.

Ema: See, Mr. Edgeworth? It wasn't that bad.

Edgeworth: I'm still holding my breath on that.

Athena: Yeah, what's next now?

Speakers: This one's pretty great. I think you'll enjoy it.

Phoenix: In this theatre? Not a chance.



Edgeworth: ... (Somehow, I knew. I knew it was going to be one of these.)

Maya: Wait, that's all? No context or anything?

Speakers: Nope.

Phoenix: At least it's not the one we're you were paired up with a carrot, Edgeworth.

Edgeworth: Don't remind me.

Apollo, Athena, and Ema: ???

Speakers: Let's start, then.



Edgeworth: wince

Phoenix: Aaaand just like the prompt, the fic just starts; no context needed.



Edgeworth: groan

Athena: Apollo? Do you think Chief Prosecutor Edgeworth is alright?

Apollo: I don't think he'd like to be disturbed any further, if you ask me. Those brows of his are more furrowed than usual.



Ema: Wh-why am I wheezing? And what kind of bar serves drinks in a paper cup?

Apollo: Maybe it's a shotglass?



Phoenix: sigh

Maya: And I bet Mr. Edgeworth won't even get that cravat back.

Edgeworth: No. I hope I'll at least get that back in the end. (Please.)



Phoenix and Maya: Pfffft...

Ema: That is...very explicit.

Edgeworth: ...They misspelled 'apparently', I see.



Apollo: Thank goodness I'm sane, at least.

Athena: Kitchen? I don't think this is a bar, actually.

Maya: Maybe it's- pfft- Mr. Edgeworth's house?

Edgeworth: I refuse to believe that.



Phoenix: You just had to sneak one in there didn't you?

Speakers: Hey, don't look at us. We're just the hosts.

Maya: Pffffffttttttah ahahahahahaahahaa! AHAHA AAHAHAHAHAHAHAA HEEHEEEHEE! This is friggin' hilarious, Nick!

Phoenix: Maya? Are you alright?

Maya: Look at Drunkworth over there! He can barely contain himself. Look at him blushing at you!

Edgeworth: D-Drunkworth?

Maya: And then..then everyone gets nosebleeds, as if this is some freaking anime! Ahaha hahahahaha! HAAAAaaaah...Oh, if only Apollo was here...

Apollo: (At least someone seems to be enjoying this..)



Phoenix, Maya, and Ema: Pffft.

Edgeworth: Et tu, Ema?

Athena: Well, you didn't even get back your cravat. What a pity.

Edgeworth: Nggh! penalty Ughhh.... faints

[The lights co-]

Speakers: Waitwaitwaitwaitwait! We can't have the lights come on while our Spork Bitch is still unconscious!

[Oh, sorry. The lights stay off.]

Apollo: (Did they just really do that?)

Speakers: Now, electrocute!

[Electricity pulses through Edgeworth's seat, but as it does, the power goes off!]

Speakers: Hngh! What the hell?! That isn't supposed to happen! ...Wait, the cuffs!

Phoenix: Of course! We're free!

Athena: What?! Then let's get outta here!

Maya: Sure, why not?

Apollo: Ow! Owowowowowowow! My foot! My foot! Aargh..!

Ema: But...Mr. Edgeworth! He's still unconscious!

???: We have no time for him right now! Now, here's the rope ladder! Now, go!

Maya: Thanks! You really helped us!

Phoenix: How can we repay you?

???: Eheheh. It was nothing, Mr. Wright. In fact, I'm doing this to repay you.

Phoenix: Oh, that? Well..

Athena: We'll talk about that later! Everyone, let's get outta here!

Apollo: Waitwaitwait! I'm still coming! (Ow! My foot still hurts!)

[And just as the group leaves, the lights come on. It seems that the only people who didn't escape were Edgeworth (who's still unconscious at the moment), and the old man in the yellow suit (who appears to be in a deep sleep).]

Speakers: Dammit, they escaped! Who helped them!?

[We don't know at the moment, sir. But it is likely that they sabotaged everything today. The teleporting device, the film, and even the Great Revival Machinery™.]

Speakers: Hmm. According to our men, they were all guarding the power box rather well. So someone sabotaged the Great Revival Machinery™ so that it would cause a blackout when it was used just once, rather than four times. Then the cuffs would be removed automatically, and then everyone would escape successfully. We can't even teleport them back, since the device is malfunctioning. I think I have an idea of who this mystery saboteur is.

[Who do you think it is, sir?]

Speakers: Never mind that! Our Sporkers are awakening!

???: Uegh...what is this place?

Edgeworth: wakes up and groans Is it over yet?

???: ! Chief Prosecutor! What are you doing over here?

Edgeworth: Ah, Mr. Janitor. You've awoken, I see.

???: ? I'm not-

Edgeworth: Where have the others gone?

???: What others, sir?

Edgeworth: Tch. (It appear he, too, just woke up.)

Speakers: We don't really know why they escaped. Honestly. We were saving the best for last, too. But with Winston over here instead, I guess this fic will have to do instead.

Winston: What are they talking about, sir?

Edgeworth: Who knows, really.



Winston: W-what?? I didn't hear of this!

Edgeworth: Your brother?

Winston: Y-yes. Gaspen Payne, sir.

Edgeworth: Ah, yes. Gaspen Payne. (Prosecutor Payne's brother is the janitor?) Well, let me fill you in. After he was fired due to reasons I cannot personally disclose currently, Prosecutor Payne fled to Khura'in, and assumed the position of Chief Prosecutor there.

Winston: Well, yes, I know that, but what did he try to do to Mr. Wright, sir?

Edgeworth: Wright stood in the Khura'inese court as the defence attorney in one of his cases. The penalty in Khura'in for losing a trial there as the defence attorney...is death.

Winston: What?! But...surely, sir...maybe he didn't know?

Edgeworth: That is not the case. As the crowd shouted for Wright's death, your brother joined in. Thankfully, he lost the case, allowing Wright to go free. But there were quite a few moments where Wright put his life on the line before that.

Winston: ...

Speakers: Let's start the fic, shall we?



Winston: groan That isn't funny.

Edgeworth: Tasteless, in fact.



Winston: What a backhanded compliment!

Edgeworth: (Fellow prosecutors? What are they talking about?) Were you a prosecutor before, Mr. Payne?

Winston: W-what? Sir! Did you forget?

Edgeworth: Forget what? (I suppose he could have been a prosecutor when I was about 20 or so...)

Winston: Sir! 'The Rookie Killer'! Doesn't that ring a bell?

Edgeworth: I cannot say it does.

Winston: !?



Winston: Yes, indeed! Did you know, sir? I was Phoenix Wright's mentor.

Edgeworth: Were you now? (I don't recall Wright ever speak of this man before, let alone mention him.)

Winston: I was! I taught him all I knew.

Edgeworth: Oh? Interesting. (So is he the reason Wright has a strange obsession for cleaning toilets?)



Winston: Which is the first thing I'm going to do after this ends!

Edgeworth: (He seems rather agitated about this. Not that I blame him.)



Edgeworth: While I agree with what is being said, I do wish that the author would... word it less pretentiously. Purple prose is rather unimpressive in my eyes.

Winston: I'll have to remember what I'm telling on the screen when I get back home.



Winston: I don't have a car with all that fancy-schmancy GPS nonsense!

Edgeworth: (I don't think Wright's office is that high. Though it has been a while since I have been there.)



Winston: winces Sir, am I actually that forgettable?

Edgeworth: It is alright, Mr. Payne. Your services do not go unnoticed.

Winston: R-Really, sir?

Edgeworth: After all, it is you who always manages to keep the Prosecutor's Office clean. That too, daily!

Winston: Oof! wince

Edgeworth: ? What is it?

Winston: Um...nothing, sir. sigh



Winston: Where is Mr. Wright, incidentally?

Edgeworth: I'm...not entirely sure myself. I can give you his address, however.

Winston: Thank you, sir.



Edgeworth: ? How will you two see each other in court, anyway?

Winston: Sir...I'm a prosecutor. Under you.

Edgeworth: ! But I thought you were the janitor?

Winston: ...The name of the janitor is Winston Pane, sir. Pane without a Y.

Edgeworth: ...Ah! I see. My apologies. They-

Winston: No, no. Never mind. Forget it.



Winston: What?! I don't wear a toupee! This hair is 100% natural! whips hair back and forth

Edgeworth: Yes, indeed. I can tell.

[The lights come on, and Edgeworth's cuffs come off.]

Edgeworth: Ah, thank goodness. To be freed of these...

Speakers: Well, that was a disappointing ending. Whatever. You can leave now. *click*

Winston: Sir?

Edgeworth: Yes?

Winston: Did you come here by car?

Edgeworth: Correct. I can take you home, if you so wish.

Winston: That would be appreciated, sir. But I wish to go somewhere else first.

[And thus our two remaining sporkers leave the theatre, exhausted. This ends the 5th Kink Meme Special. We hope you enjoyed!]

...

...

[...Meanwhile, a few streets away..]

How many much is there to go again?

Relax, Nick! Just a mile more and we'll be there!

So...tired....foot....hurts...

Come on! You're still going on about that foot!? I already apologised!

Really? Are you sure you saved Mr. Edgeworth?

Yeah! Of course, just like I saved you guys! There was a Bad Badger mask next to him, and he was making some funny noises. You all should've been there.

I dunno, I just can't see Mr. Edgeworth like that. Chew chew chew chew

Wait, we're finally here!

Daddy! Polly! Athena! You're finally all home! What took you guys so long?

huff puff It's...a long story, honey. I'll tell you later. Anyway, time to wrap up for today.

Wait, what's that car over there? It looks a bit familiar...

! That's Mr. Edgeworth's car!

SWOOSH

What the-?! Why are you here, of all people?!

Aw, there's no need to be so rude about it, Uncle Edgeworth!

Wait, it's the old man from earlier! Why's he here?

Mr. Wright. I just came here to apologise for what my brother tried to do to you in Khura'in. I know he said too inept to do it himself, so I asked the Chief Prosecutor to drive me here to apologise myself.

Um...thanks, I guess?

No problem. Now if you excuse me, I must be going home. Good bye, Mr. Wright. I hope to see you again in court one day.
...Was that how it went? Regardless, see you in court.

Erm, okay.

I suppose I'll leave now. Anyone else wants to get dropped off?

Ooh, me!

Me too!

Can I join in?

...I don't mind.

Thanks for the help, Mr. Edgeworth! I'll be coming in too, then.

That's all of you, then. See you later, Wright.

Don't forget me!

WOOSH

That was weird, daddy. Do you know who that old guy was?

...Yeah. I guess you could say so. (I'll be sure to thank him some day.)

END

Yeah, it's really really sporkable. There was even a huge argument over it on the original page, which raised a good few of the points I did. Also, earlier someone said it was too short and should be kept as part of a double feature. Instead the opposite happened, and it had to be broken into two parts. To be honest, I don't really regret that. I liked that I was doing something different, imo.



I have a body pillow of him in my room


Actually since I don't know what he looks like it's just a normal pillow with 'barrylawn' written on it in permanent marker. But still



Yesterday. *smirk*



I did. Basically, I have a caricature of each character I'm writing in mind, and go with that. Gumshoe and Franziska were tough to write because they were rather unique.



Gerald is rather posh. Quite fitting for a donkey.



Did you like his special appearance? I really worked on it a lot. :D



That's a horseshίt pun. I don't mean to equine, but you have to work as hard as a mule if you want to make better puns.

....Wait, wrong thread.



Literal gems?! Why didn't you tell me earlier?! Gosh, now I have to go loooking in previous sporkings for amethysts and topazes and emeralds and rubies and sapphires and garnets and opals and diamond and eyes of the tiger and OH GOD GIVE ME A SECOND


.....you were exaggerating, weren't you?



I prefer Love is Magical's ending myself, but I agree with you otherwise. I really want to go for more of an emotional ending for my next sporking.



Yeah, I'm glad I went the extra mile for that.



He just doesn't want to be seen as an Assworth, you get me?



Smooth :P

But I recommend reading them a bit more thoroughly if it isn't a trollfic. I made a similar mistake with the Baby Chronicles, and paid the price dearly.



Can Yew? That's pretty Badd, Mann. Usually most people Byrne upon contact with them.



Yeah, it was. She appeared in TBC-4, but as a captive. This is my first time just having her casually appear and spork. Glad you enjoyed it.



Ayup.

I'm surprised because there weren't originally too many AA games whose case order matched their chronological order. Nowadays half of them occur properly. AAI2 was a surprise back then.



Yeah. That's canon



I did find some gold there. Not literally, mind you. But still, some good stuff. Maybe I should browse there for my next sporking. :]



You know if Phoenix went into space, he'd be an asstronaut.







...Wow. Just for that alone, I'll agree with you.

Does that mean if de Killer had a clone, they'd be two in(n)ate asses? Ass ass inate?

Incredible



Thanks. Here's mayo's rattelsnek advuntre in a nutshell:



Did I do a better?



Surprised you noticed that but not 'donno' :p

been playing too much VLR, I guess


lol u didnt even finish 1 get rektangular



Yes, I do. What, did you imagine me as a 20-something unemployed man living in his mother's basement or something?

Luckily I got promoted today (<3), so I get to start work a week later than most of the others.

Anyway, thanks for the well wishes. As for what I'm planning to spork next...

[It's another normal day in the Sporking Theatre, where Phoenix and Larry are in their seats making small talk.]

Phoenix: Uh huh. And what happened after your attempts to hit on Linda failed?

Larry: Oh man, Nick! I was lost then! A little lost lamb in a lonely field! I would never made it if it hadn't been for Violetta! You should meet her sometime, Nick! She's the most beautiful person on earth!

Phoenix: Uh-huh. Oh really? (I don't think I can take much more of this.)

Larry: Yeah, and she's the smartest person I've ever known! She really is- wait a second! Is that you, Franzy- whip crack YAOOOOWWWWWWWCCHHHH!

Franziska: Larry Butz! You will not refer to me by that foolish nickname again! Understand!

Larry: whimper But I thought we had something going..

Phoenix: (So much for Violetta, I guess.) Anyway, is that all of us?

Franziska: No, there is one more, Phoenix Wright. I have heard that the Management is bringing in a special guest from prison for this sporking.

Phoenix: Huh. (Who could it be?)

[Just on time, one of Agent Lang's men comes in with Godot, coffee in hand, who then promptly sits down; cuffed to his seat.]

Franziska: What the?

Phoenix: Prosecutor Godot! What are you doing here?

Godot: Isn't it obvious, Mr. Wright? I'm here to join your little group and play your little game. sips coffee

Man: I trust that shall be all, sir?

Franziska: Yes. You may leave now.

Man: Yes, sir! leaves

Larry: Aw man, I'm stuck with you again?! Just as my dreams of being with Franzy were coming true too- whip crack OOWWWWWCHHH!

Franziska: Larry Butz! What did I just say to you?!

Phoenix: Well, um...I guess that's all of us, right?

Speakers: Correct! Let us start, shall we? Today we shall be having a double feature, both featuring Mr. Godot here.

Godot: Interesting. sips coffee

Phoenix: A double feature? (Just great.)

Speakers: Yes, indeed! It's the Godot Dualogy, as we say! Or the Godouology!

Larry: Go-dough-you-all-orgy?

Phoenix: No, Larry. sigh It's Go-dough-eulogy. There's no 'r' sound.

Larry: Aw. That doesn't sound half as fun, Nick!

Godot: Petty pronunciation problems aside, shall we start now?

Franziska: Yes, let us before this fool starts wondering how to pronounce his own name.



Franziska: A-Aromatherapy?

Larry: Javaccino?

Phoenix: Wait. Is this involving the Très Bien case?

Larry: Is that some fancy French restaurant, Nick?

Godot: Très Bien? Ha..! I actually miss that godforesaken place, coffee and all.

Phoenix: (Sheesh, he doesn't like the coffee they serve at prison, apparently.)



Godot: Ha..! Already the author is apologising. What a great start.

Phoenix: What an odd way to say that this doesn't belong to them.



Godot: Did the author forget that I already have tried the coffee at Très Bien?

Phoenix: And did they forget that it costs a lot more there?

Larry: Psst. Hey, Nick. What's 'froofy'?

Phoenix: Huh? Oh, it means something like fancy, or frilly. Kinda like Franziska's atti- whip crack YAAOOOOW!

Franziska: Did you really think you could get away with that, Phoenix Wright?



Franziska: Why are the tables all empty?

Phoenix: Suffice it to say, it doesn't get a lot of business. Mainly due to the food.

Godot: If the coffee doesn't taste good, then don't drink it. That's one of my rules. sips coffee

Phoenix: (What an odd rule.)



Larry: Ooh, that's a pretty lady, Nick!

Phoenix: That's a man, Larry.

Larry: Wait, are you kidding?

Godot: I don't blame you for thinking so, Butz.

Phoenix: (I mean...the beard kinda gives it away, though.)



Phoenix: I see at least Ms. Byrde had the common sense to leave after everything. ...Actually, why is Mr. Armstrong even here? I thought after what happened-

Godot: Actually, he had to resign after what happened. He passed it on to someone else. sips coffee



Larry: Isn't that bad luck?

Godot: Sans poison? I doubt there's much of a difference with or without it.

Phoenix: (Harsh.)



Phoenix: Umm...whip crack Oww!

Franziska: Phoenix Wright! Gay refers to cheerful, or light hearted! Do you understand?!

Phoenix: (I wasn't even going to say anything! ...Okay, maybe I was.)



Larry: Wait, did I miss something? Why's the pink chef offering him a massage?

Godot: When asking for coffee, don't expect anything other than coffee. That's one of my rules.

Phoenix: ! (I see where this is going, and I don't like it one bit.)



Phoenix: Good, good, good. Now leave the restaurant and never come back.



Godot: Ha..! Kitten, eh? Clever.

Larry: Nick, is this how this guy actually behaves like?

Phoenix: Yes.



Franziska: Why is he slapping him now? That is impolite.

Phoenix: (Says the lady with the whip.)



Godot: Good, you remembered. sips coffee



Franziska: !

Phoenix: !

Godot: !

Larry: ..?



Godot: That is but a mere understatement.



Phoenix: Is that even allowed?

Larry: Well, no one else is really there, Nick.

Franziska: That is no excuse for simply lazing around! whip crack



Phoenix: No. Please no.

Speakers: Incidentally, did we mention that this came from a prompt on the Kink Meme?

Phoenix: ..Well, we're screwed.



Godot: Ha..! Two extra dollars? How generous of me.

Phoenix: (Has no one else realised yet?!)



Godot: I see the author understands me well. sips coffee



Godot: spits out coffee ...I take that back. Apparently not.

Larry: What the heck? This isn't what I signed up for!

Franziska: How much more is left?

Speakers: You're about four-ninths in.

Franziska: winces



Godot: ...I. Don't. Think. That's. Necessary.

Phoenix: (He's gripping that coffee so hard that I'm surprised it hasn't broken yet.)



Godot: ..Well, I suppose they got my body right. sips coffee

Larry: Um, are they doing this in the middle of this place?

Phoenix: Is this a restaurant or a spa?!



Godot: spits coffee What the hell?!

Phoenix: (Even Godot is cracking at this point.)



Phoenix: Don't bring ME into this!

Franziska: For once, I agree with you. Not even Phoenix Wright could get into this sort of situation.

Godot: Blacker than a moonless night, darker and more bitter than even coffee itself...that is this author.



Larry: shudder I prefer massages to be done by cute chicks, thanks- whip crack Oww! What was that for?

Franziska: LARRY BUTZ! Do you understand the words coming out of your mouth right now?!



Phoenix: This is terrible.

Godot: Too bitter even for my tastes.

Larry: I can even kinda smell it from here. Gross.



Godot: chugs coffee

Franziska: These large amounts of oil are making me sick.



Phoenix: This is illegal. This has to be illegal.



Godot: PHOOOOOOOOOWHAAAAT?!

Larry: Argh! TMI, TMI!



Phoenix: (Though not as grim as the Godot sitting next to me.)

Godot: That was a prank?!



Godot: That's enough! throws coffee at the screen

Speakers: The Management requests that Mr. Godot not throw coffee at the screen.

Godot: And what exactly are you going to do then?

Speakers: We can and will remove your coffee privileges if necessary.

Godot: ! I'll be a good boy. grabs another cup of coffee

Phoenix: (How does he do that?)

Franziska: Well, at least the coffee stains are partially obscuring the screen now.



Godot: Grr...!

Franziska: I don't see why you're so agitated. At least you can't see red on white.

Godot: I wish I couldn't see at all. chugs coffee

Speakers: The Management requests that the Sporkers pay attention to what is happening on screen at all times.



Larry: Ooh, nice to knOUUUUCH! whip crack whip crack whip crack whip crack



Godot: Just because I drink bitter coffee doesn't mean I use bitter language, author.

Phoenix: (I don't think applying oil there is going to do much good.)



Godot: ...

Phoenix: (Uh oh. He's practically smoking now.)



Larry: This isn't what I'm into, Nick.

Phoenix: I don't think any of us are into this, Larry.

Franziska: Not even a regular here to interrupt? What a pity.

Godot: Not even old man Kudo. Unsurprising considering he has no waitress skirts to stare under.

Franziska: What is is?!

Phoenix: (Uh oh. I don't know if he's realised what he just did.)



Godot: This is defamation of character. I don't care if Armstrong or Butz were doing this to me, just imagining if they were Mia wouldn't change anything!

Phoenix: We know, Mr. Godot.

Larry: I wondered what they censored?

Franziska: It is not hard to imagine what it was, Larry Butz!



Phoenix: What a relief! Someone's finally interrupted!

Larry: I'll never see oil the same way after this, Nick. Oh god...



Franziska: Quite rich, coming from him.



Phoenix: Thank goodness.

Godot: That was pretty impressive, admittedly.



Godot: If the coffee isn't good, it isn't worth it. That's one of my rules.

Phoenix: Can we forget this ever happened?

[...]

Larry: Wait, what? I thought it was over! Why are the lights- whip crack OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOOW!

Franziska: Were you not paying attention?! This is a double feature, you fool!

Phoenix: Oh no. I nearly forgot.

Godot: I've had enough of this tripe!

Phoenix: Wait!

Godot: throws coffee at the screen

Speakers: What?! Alright, that's enough. No more coffee for you!

Godot: Pah!

Phoenix: (It isn't often that I see Godot getting angry. It's even rarer for him to be even more enraged than Franziska.)

Larry: Oh come on! This isn't fair!

Speakers: The Management would like to remind everybody that we don't care. Screw you. Let's start!

Franziska: Hmph. And it only took so long for you to be honest with us.

Phoenix: Well, at least we're halfway through. (Though Godot looks furious not to have any more coffee with him.)



Godot: That's a question I ask myself every night.



Phoenix: Oh come on! They got my name wrong!

Larry: Wait, I'm in this? Score!

Franziska: So why was I brought here?

Speakers: To keep a tight leash on everyone. Duh.

Franziska: I see then. tightens whip No unfunny or unrelated comments, then.

Phoenix: (Well, this got worse fast.)



Larry: Oh no! Oh no!

Godot: ...The pits of hell are truly neverending.

Phoenix: And they still got my name wrong! whip crack Ow!

Franziska: That is your biggest concern with this?!

Phoenix: (Should've seen that coming...) Anyway, do you guys even know each other that well?

Godot: Ha..! As if we would be even acquainted with each other.

Larry: Nah, not really. Unless you count that two minute interrogation we had on the Hazakura Temple incident.

Phoenix: Wait. Two minutes?!

Godot: This man had barely anything useful to say. If you have to drink spoilt coffee, finish it quickly. That's one of my rules.

Phoenix: (Good grief.)



Larry: Come on! I'm don't a drunkard!

Phoenix: Yeah, you aren't. (Surprisingly.)

Franziska: I can't believe I'm saying this, but the author has somehow gotten Larry Butz out of character.

Godot: Ha..! Spoiling an already spoilt coffee is a sign of a bad brewer. That's one of my rules.

Phoenix: (It's just like Law Plus Chaos all over again...and we just started!)



Phoenix: 'Fwap'?

Godot: Clearly this is a cry for help by the author, who is in a heavily deteriorating mental state.

Phoenix: Um, we aren't supposed to personally insult the author, Mr. Godot.

Speakers: Also, on the author's profile, it says that some of their earlier fics were written when they were twelve. Those fics are some of which they are not especially proud of.

Godot: They had the humility to at least admit their mistakes. That's the first step to being a man.

Speakers: Well, this one was one of their later fics, but whatever. Moving on...



Phoenix: So this was what the 'Fwap' noise was supposed to be?

Franziska: That is not the sound of hitting someone! whip crack

Larry: Eh, thanks, but no thanks. I'm not into dudes, you get me? I'm Larry 'Ladies' Man' Butz, after aAAAAAAALLLLLL! whip crack whip crack whip crack whip crack whip crack

Franziska: That's enough.



Larry: How the heck am I even in here with this masked dude?!

Godot: So...am I in prison here?

Phoenix: They're not saying anything about that so far.

Franziska: No matter what year it is, the reasoning for it is inevitably going to be shoddy.



Phoenix: Even if Larry would drink, I doubt he would get into this situation.



Larry: The last person I would've expected to see was Edgey, actually.

Speakers: Hmm, that reminds me, actually. Are there any fics which...?

Franziska: Now look what you have done, you foolishly foolish fool! whip crack



Phoenix: Well..I guess this does take place after the murder at Hazakura Temple.

Godot: Except that I'm not wearing my visor.

Franziska: And apparently you're not in prison anymore.

Phoenix: (Please tell me there'll be a rational, logical explanation for this...)



Larry: V-Victim party?!

Phoenix: (Isn't that a band name?)



Godot: Even the fic is admitting this is making no sense?!

Franziska: Is there even going to be a reason for this!?



Godot: Is that my visor malfunctioning, or is that the author's way of jumping into a flashback?

Phoenix: No, I think it's just the coffee pot. See?



Godot: If you can only handle half of a bitter cup, then you might as well not drink it at all. That's one of my rules.



Larry: Wait, does this take place in the future or something? I don't know any of these names!

Franziska: Mr. Godot is no longer in prison here, so I only must assume so.



Phoenix: The author forgot to put a period in that first sentence. And I'm pretty sure they meant to write 'Not THE Nick or Miles lawyer'.

Larry: Man, is this predicting the future? Because this is tragic!



Godot: If I had coffee in my mouth, I would spit it out right now.

Franziska: whip crack Enough of this tomfoolery! Why is Mr. Godot at Larry Butz's place?!



Phoenix: Nope, I'm pretty sure there is no real reason. The author just felt like shoehorning in their own pairing without any respect to canon.

Speakers: The Management requests that the Sporkers not break the fourth wall.

Phoenix: Oh, come on! That barely counts!



Franziska: It is spelt supposedly! Two 'P's and an 'E', not an 'A'! whip crack

Phoenix: (Alright, maybe she is getting a bit furious.)

Larry: Come on! I don't swear that much!



Godot: I believe that 'thump' is the proper onomatopoeia use here.



Phoenix: Well, it takes 5 years after the Hazakura murder. That kinda pinpoints things to after my disbarment.

Godot: No, I couldn't have gotten out in five years for what I did.

Franziska: How foolish.



Larry: A-And? Are you going to explain what the heck you're doing here?

[The lights come on.]

Larry: WHAT?! That's it?

Speakers: Yep, that's all. No other chapters or anything.

Phoenix: Well, that still explained absolutely zilch.

Franziska: Even if it did, I doubt it would properly explain the characters' behaviour.

Godot: sigh I'm fine with this. I guess I'm going back.

Man: Sir! I've come to take him away, sir!

Franziska: Do what you will, officer. I am leaving myself.

Godot: Whatever. See you later, Mr. Wright. My death slowly approaches. Nothing to live for from here.

Phoenix: Wait! Godot!

Godot: ...

Phoenix: No matter what, don't give up! No matter what your motivations were, you still saved Maya from death.

Godot: Tch. It wasn't much. I still framed Sister Iris for everything.

Phoenix: ...She was ready for accept the blame for everything. You might have done some things wrong in your life, but that doesn't mean you have to die for it. Look, if you'd like, we can have Maya channel Mia for you. Then you two can have a nice long chat together. You deserve it.

Godot: Phoenix Wright... grins You sound just like Mia. You truly are her protégé. Continue with such such valour, and you might make this earth a better place to live. Remember, a lawyer always smiles-

Phoenix: ...No matter how bad it gets. I see.

Man: Sir! We have to go now.

Godot: Yeah. I have to go now. Goodbye, Wright.

...

Phoenix: (Despite what I said, he still never accepted. I guess in the end, him seeing Mia in me was what mattered most to him.)

Larry: Uh? Hey, Nick? We're leaving now.

Phoenix: ..Huh? Oh, yeah, coming!

[And thus, this ends our sporking. We hope you enjoyed. And until next time, goodbye!]

Speakers: There really are some Larry x Edgeworth fics. Good grief.