Court is now in session for the trial of Mr. Kyle Hyde and Mr. Derek Stiles.

Of what!

Of entering another game series that you don't belong in!

Oh.

The prosecution calls the first witness to the stand!

...

Witness. Please state your name and occupation.

...

Okay... (Damn, I should have joined my brother on his lobster boat in Iceland...)





.........................................................

Okay. As the defence has had a sneezing fit...

AAAAACCCCHOOOO!

...and the witness is inanimate...

*Falls over* ...

We have no choice but to declare a verdict -



+ NOOOOOO!

---

PROLOGUE - THE FILES ARE STOLEN!

Somewhere, in the corridors of the Wright & Co. Law Offices...

*sleeping* SNOre...

*random masked figure sneaks in, and sneaks around Nick, opening a group of files. He then snatches the files, marked "Polly" and runs out the door*

Not so fast, random masked figure!

Yeah!

Yeah!

....

OK, I understand you and Edgy, but what's with the Samurai?

Sorry, pal.

*Goes*

*random masked figure hurls knives at Phoenix*

ACK! *dodges*

You won't get past me, evildoer!

*random masked figure shows Edgy picture of naked*

Edgy needs his alone time now! *runs off*

Um...I arrest you in the name of the law!

*random masked figure releases *

Tonight. You. *chases Gumshoe*

*runs* AHHH!

That's it, random masked figure, give me those files!

*random masked figure hits Phoenix, and runs off, calling Missile back to him.*

*Edgy comes back, Gumshoe comes back, and Phoenix is knocked out by a flying brick.*

TO BE CONTINUED...MAYBE.

What did the random masked figure want? What is so important about "Polly"? Find out next time!

---

CHAPTER ONE - THE POLLY IDOL REVEALED!

*High in a mountain fortress, with the entryway decorated like a visage of Gant.*

*random masked figure walks past RayGunBot and BlueBadgaBot*

*Inside*

Ah! My minion! Have you got the Polly Idol Files?

Yes...*bows*...Gantsta Masta. Shall I show them to you?

WOULD YOU FIRST LIKE TO SEE MY COLLECTION OF / YAOI ART?

No, master, it isn't Wednesday. *hands him the files*

Good! Now I can unleash the Cannon Of Feathers upon the world! *grabs Polly Idol, and reads files* Okay, first, insert the Idol into the slot, and do remember to -- *rip* Oh, great, the stupid attorney ripped the page!

*shoves Polly Idol in slot, but doesn't press the on switch* Oops, now we have 24 hours until the thing fires.

Oh, crap. Oh, well, let's send out these fliers, that tell that we will destroy the world, and it has our hideout number and postcode adress on it! *

PollyBot! PollyBot! *grabs fliers, and heads out window*

Now, you can look at my art!

NOOOOOOO!

TO BE CONTINUED....MAYBE

---

If he ever gets sick, just bring him here.
Don't worry, Shoe gets sick a lot.
...
Don't you, Shoe?
Kachew, kachew.
====================

Manuel!
Si?
There is too much butter on those trays!
...Que?
There is too much butter on. those. trays!
No, no, Senor De Killer! Not "On. Those. Trays."! Uno. Dos. Tres!
Just give me the damn butter!
======================
There's a Colonel Square to see you, Mr. Mainwaring.
Good, send him in.
Ah! You must be Main-Waring!
It's pronounced "Mannering", actually.
...Well then why the hell do you spell it "Mainwaring"? Load of nonsense!
LATER...
I was sixteen years fighting Johnny Turk. You've heard of E La-rance?
...I beg your pardon?
E La-rahnce, man! E La-rahnce! Now, what do you think of when I say that name?
I-I really don't know. Mean anything to you, Wilson?
Well, he's not the sheropodist from the High Street...
No, you fool! I'm talking about Lawrence of Arabia! I served with him! It's what the arabs used to call him! Sometimes they called him "Pashar". It means "Great Chief", you know. They used to call me Pashar as well. He was known as LAwrence-Pashar, I was known as-
Square-Pashar.
WILSON!
================
With your eyesight, you're bound to get lost.
Now, there's no call for that, Joe. I'm a lance-corporal, I am.
Come on, you old geezer.
LATER...
Pike? Walker? ...I think I'm lost. HALT! WHO GOES THERE? FRIEND OR FOE?
Luftwaffa.
That's not what I asked!
=============
END OF LINE. END OF LINE. END OF LINE.

---

CHAPTER 2 - RECRUITING!

*find flyer*

Hey, what does this say?

PollyBot? PollyBot?

Stupid parrot. *Kicks it*

AHHHHA! We only have 24 hours to live!

Well, that sucks!

We must recruit help!

*Later*

Um...sorry, can't see through tears. *slams door*

Um...sorry, must sell lunches.
*slams door*

Um...sorry, don't belong here. *slams door*

Um...sorry, must eat ball *slams door*

Um...sorry, am doing a report on the advanced classes of 17th century Britain. *slams door*

*Later*

Okay, all the people we have hired are...



*goes to Franziska* Well, finally found some good in your heart, eh?

ACK!

The only reason I am joining this foolish trip with all you foolishly foolish fools, is that if the world was destroyed, who would I whip?

Good point.

TO BE CONTINUED

---

CHAPTER 4 - THE FINAL BATTLE

*23 hours and 50 minutes later. Mountain gate*

stand guard.

How in the coffee are we going to get past them. I mean, the one with the fishbowl helmet is really ugly, and I mean really ugly. If he were standing behind me right now, I'd says how ugly he really is.

*is standing right behind Godot.*

He's standing right behind me, isn't he?*turns around and uses visor heatwave to burn helmet off.*

You young people, these days with your fancy laser-shooting visors and in my day, you didn't go shooting the helmets off people -- AHHH - CHOKING, FROM TALKING TOO MUCH! *dies*

Die!

You don't need to see out identification. *waves hand*

Yeah, I don't. *explodes*

*comes bursting out*

Leave this puppy to me...*everybody else runs inside.*

*Inside*

Well then, back for more, are we? *Beats up Phoenix, makes Edgy have alone time with pictures of + making out, kicks Gumshoe's head in, makes Maya summon , who begins beating herself up, and tempts Godot with coffee.*

Ah-ha! Nothing you can do to me! I am perfect!

No you're not! *shows 99% maths test*

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *rolls on the floor in a fetal position*

comes in, riding , who eats .

*Everybody comes back*

Oh, you're finally here! Soon, the cannon will blow up the world, and you will all die!

TAKE THIS! *grabs laser control panel, and it turns on. Instead of destroying the world, it zaps Gant.*

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, well, we did it!

*Looking at Gant's Yaoi art* Must have alone time! *runs into convinently-placed bathroom*

(Somes things never change...)

THE END! (Or is it...(insert creepy music here)?

---

During Case 1-3, Last Trial...

You ate the bone, too!

Yeah, I did! *chokes* And so did Sal...*dies from lung cancer and choking*

i'LL 5ee Yu nOObs in HeVAN! *starts dying*

Don't you mean hell?

WOTEVA! JOOst lEt me dye INE PEze!*continues dying*

Don't you mean in pieces?

*dies, finally*

NOOO! You can't prove me innocent using a dead person's testimony!

Oh yes you can!

MYSTIC AMI!

Wait, aren't you dead?

Oh yeah! *dies*

*Later*

What about me?

Dead.

*dies*

Me?

Too young.

*leaves*

Me?

Your spritual powers are too weak!

Curse you, Mystic Misty, Mystic Maya, and Mystic Ami! *leaves*

Me?

Ah, just right.

's ghost: *comes in and kills Maya with a chainsaw.* Yes, now none will know that I, Dee Vasquez, and him, Sal Manella, killed !

....

Oh crap. *Disapears*

Will Powers, I now pronounce you...



Yeah! *confetti*

...but, I accuse the maker of the steaks that Ms. Vasquez and Mr. Manella choked on, of their murder!

Oh. Hey, I'm eating the steak right now. *chokes on steak and dies*

Oh well... (all's well that ends well, I guess.)

(I don't.)

(AHHHA! Mind Read!)

---

THE CABINS

Me and my cousin being random. I always looked at this as a way to rip-off Big Brother, but that idea sucks. So we know have prono and laugh more.

The roles (in the writing)

Me: LAughing, ideas and typing
My cousin: Writing and laughing at sick porno.

This originally spaened Godot: The perverted idiot. (Which had FFranny Fannies and Manny Man-bits, and I'm thinking of soemthing FOR ANOTHER KARMA *grins at a certain Fan*), but I had to take it down because Godot Fan threatened me.

THE CABINS

People in the cabins:

WELCOME TO MY SAFARI TOUR IN THE MIDDLE OM NOWHERE!
Why are we here?
*ignoring Phoenix* ENJOY THE SIGHTS OF TREES and... er... trees.
You only have whjat you carry on your backs... And what's in your cabins whcih my imaginary fairy poofed up.
Imaginary fairy? *walks up to plaque*
Plaque: Built on the orders of Abraham Lincoln.
Lincoln was a fairy?
There are three cabins! The Prosecutors' cabin, Feenie and Friends' cabin and the Dull Boring Retards (except for Judge) cabin.
Go into your cabins, and if you don't like it, tough shit! Have a nice time.
I will fuck you.

Prosecutor's Cabin

*lying on his bed, with a Starbucks coffee machine super-glued to the ceiling, with a superlong straw coming down from it into his mouth, and there's a stick to turn it off. Next to his bed is a ddraw with 41 different mugs* Hey, Franny!
It's Franziska, not Franny.
*peeing in front of thier window* Don't look here.
*looks out window* *looks back in, looking shocked*Godot, Larry's pissing on out cabin.
*shrugs* *takes a mug, fills it with coffee, and throws it at LArry.
Yow! What's your fucking problem!
Where's my suicide pill?
Judge has 'em.
*goes red* Ghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... Fuck.
*Walks away*
I love you, Franny.
Why?
You remind me of coffee and coffee is nice.
DON'T COMPARE MY DAUGHTER TO COFFEE.
I love coffee, so I love her.
Oh. Just make sure I get more grandchildren out of this.
I don't want children yet!
Yet?
SHUTTUP PEOPLE, SHUTTUP!
I spilled coffee over my visor.

FEENIE AND FRIENDS

I'M BACK!
*dancing with Maya* You left?
Yeah! I peed on Von Karma's cabin.
Why are you burning?
Because I had coffee chucked on me.
Larry, like my new toy?
*picks it up* It's not talking to me. Has it got Parkinsons's disease?
No.
My Rhino-boo-boo does. He's had it for so long.
Toys don't get dieases!
Yeah they do! Godot does! He's got the flu!
Godot isn't a toy! And since when did he have the flu?
He sneezed at me last night! And Franny called him her "boy-toy". SO'S A TOY!
Larry! Pearl isn the room!
Mr. Nick? What'sa boy-toy?
Uh... er... Uh... It's... Erm... When you like someone lots, you call them bot-toys!
So the men call the women boy-toys?

Dull Boring Retards (except for Judge)

FANCY A SWIM?
We're locked in, y'all!
Yeah, pal. wer're locked in!
*runs up to window* we're not! Who wants coffee?
NOBODY WANT COFFEE!
I do.
Last chance.
I DO I DO I DO WANT COFFEE!
Your too slow! No coffee for you! Bye! *runs off*
I hate you Gumshoe.
*goes to Judge* UDGEY!
What?
Want sex?
WHAT ARE YOU, CRAZY?
*rapes*
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
What's happening?
I'm takin' shots of this!
*screaming*

TO be continued...

Hey Edgey where were you?

I was Mas-

WE F*CKING KNOW ALREADY!

NO! I mean I was mass debating! You know how politictians debate on the masses!

Well had me fooled!

This is from Tenacious D, if something like this has already been done please let me know, this is part one of three.
God, I'm fuckin hungry. Let me check the fridge...Dude where's my fuckin schnitzel? Hey, wake up. Wake up you asshole, wake up.
Whahahat? Wh?
Wake up.
*Hair fell off* What?
You ate my fuckin schnitzel.
What?
You ate my fuckin schnitzel.
Well it was in there. If you put in there, then its fair game.
Yeah?
*puts hair back on* For anybody that wants to eat it.
Well then maybe this is fair game. *Karate chops Sawit* WOW!
Ow God, Hey
Yeah, that's right its a karate chop!
What're ya doin?
Well if you didn't like that, how 'bout this? *Karate kicks Sawit* KIKAY!
OW!

---

Welcome to The Search for Phoenix's Parents! Episode 3!

Last time, our heroes had discovered the shocking truth after searching through Phoenix's birth records! They found out that Phoenix has a twin! With no knowledge of the whereabouts of his parents, Phoenix, along with his gang of misfit freaks, have no choice but to take a roadtrip in a beaten up old RV across America to question his brother and find out the truth.... but first, our heroes must stop for some lunch at a local truck stop...

____________________

*inside the truck stop restaurant*

Ahh.... at long last! I can satisify the demon that is growling in my belly!

*mumbles* That isn't the only demonic thing about you....

Mr. Edgeworth, do you have something you would like to say to me?

You are a beautiful goddess whose word is absolute. I worship you like Gumshoe worships Richard Simmons.

What?

He's an inspiration pal. You should have seen what I used to look like.

Is it just me, or does anyone find it strange that we haven't been bullied by the local truck stop thugs yet?

*pops up out of nowhere* I love this place! Those truck stop people said that I was the most cutest thing since the invention of the Gillete razor blade!

That's nice Pearly, but everyone knows that electric shaving is the way to go.

Not if you're a girl....

I don't get it.... you don't have facial hair.... do you?

.......... Idiot.

What did I do?

To answer your question Gumshoe, yes, she does have facial hair. More than me actually.

*starts to boil* NIIIICCCCKKKK!!!!!!

Tickets Maya.

I hate you.

*3 random truck stop thugs pop out of nowhere*

Whose the priss who be makin' fun of our using our manual razor blades? They shoot you for that in Texas.

WHOEVER IT IS IS GUNNA BE IN FOR A WORLD OF HURT!!!!! GYYAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm gonna pop a sucker up here in this joint for dissing the enjoyments of my manhood!

*points at Edgeworth* It was him! He drives an RV!!!! *runs to the bathroom*

OH! It was you wasn't it? As if those frills didn't give it away! *picks up Edgeworth by the cravat*

I have no idea what kind of mess Wright was trying to pull, but it wasn't....

Trying to cover up your misconduct? They shoot you for that in Texas.

(I'm sensing a catchphrase here....)

LEMME AT EM! LEMME AT EM!!!! I HAVEN"T BUTCHERED ANYBODY FOR 20 MINUTES AND ITS DRIVING ME MAD!!!!!

Easy pardner. We'll let you have a turn.

I'm telling you that the man in the bathroom is the culprit! Speaking of, I need to go.... bad.... I haven't done my special thing since before this quest began and...

Yous ain't goin' no where!!!!!

GOT THAT PUNK????

Y....Y....Yes sir!!!

*goes up to Furio Tigre* Um... excuse me. You look like my friend Mr. Nick. Are you his um.... twin?

*throws Edgeworth across the room and kneels down and pats Pearl on the head and smiles* Why, of course not little one. I'm an only child.

Are you sure? Nick's twin lives in Brooklyn.

Look punk. Do I look like I'm from New York to you? I was born and raised in Massachusetts. Its where I got my accent.

What accent?

I dunno.....

*in a corner underneath a collapsed table* Ow.... my aching head.... Darn you Wright and your filthy lies! I see you use your tricks outside of court as well! If the judge were here you would be penalised!

Why, hello there Mr. Tall, Grey and handsome.

What in the world do you want?

KILL KILL!!!!! *takes out knife* NEED BLOOD!

Oh good lord Buddha Christ!!!! *gets out from under the table and exits the truck stop restaurant*

I WILL FOLLOW YOU FOREVER!!!!! *chases after Edgeworth*

......that is so not hot.

*by the men's bathroom door*

*knocks on door* Nick! Hurry up! Maya is very hungry y'know!

Oh man.... oh yeah...

Nick?

Oh yes.... Phoenix likes it like that!

WHAT THE HECK NICK???

*comes out of the bathroom* Gotta love Feenie's alone time!

Nick... I'm not even going to ask!

What? I was just enjoying one of the local delicacies here at this fine diner. I found a 75 cent sugar coated treat. It was quite thin though....

Nick..... those are condoms....

What's a condom???

.........

Well, as long as Matt is taking care of the guilty party, I don't have any other beef with you guys.

Y'know pal, you guys look awfully familar.....

Well of course they do! Mr. Matt was put in prison, Mr. Tiger entertained you at your birthday party, and Mr. um.... Texas sent you a christmas card last year Mr. Gumshoe!

Oh.... wait. I can understand the first one, but how do you know about the other two? I have never invited you to my party or let you look at my cards!

I watch you Mr. Gumshoe..... all the time......

Can we leave? This place sucks! I haven't even seen a decent babe around here! Wheres the truck stop chicks Nick? WHERE ARE THEY!!!!????

Shut up Larry, no one cares about your needs....

.............. My mommy does......

We ain't leavin' till I gets me some food!!!! I want some food!!!

*in a waitress uniform* Howdy ya'll, how may I help you?

20 bacon cheeseburgers please!!!!!

Comin' right up liddle missy!

YAY!!!!

HOLY CRAP!!!! HOT TRUCK STOP BABE AT TWO O' CLOCK!!!! YOWZA!!!! *runs towards Lana, but stops when a gunshot is fired*

*puts away gun* Don't you dare be hittin' on my woman pardner. They shoot you for that in Texas.

Um.... I don't recall Lana having a Texas accent the last time I saw her....

Intimatcy changes people pardner....

Hmm.... just like what happened to my sister's boyfriend....

(insert flashback)
______________________

* are making out*

Oh mi amor! We shall make love like the how the graceful swan dances in the lake! *castanets*

Oh Diego! I love it when you talk dirty to me! Lets get intimate!

Mi amor! My heart belongs to you and only you or my name isn't Diego Carlos Ramero Ricardo Armando the third.

Oh yes... thats it! GO DIEGO GO!!!!

Oh si! Our love is like a.... *something hits Diego in the eye* OM MY SWEET MOTHER GAIA!!!! WHAT IN THE WORLD HAS JUST STABBED MY BEAUTIFUL FACE!!!!????!?!?

I'm sorry honey! I guess my breasts are just too big! I didn't mean to *leans over*

*gets hit in the other eye* OH MY CORNEA!!!! That is it senorita! We are through! Finished! I never want to see you again!

*mumbling* Well, that shouldn't be too hard now....

I take my leave! *runs into the bedroom lamp dropping it onto the floor* Okay... now I take my leave! *runs into Mia's closet* Okay..... now I...

I think the readers get the picture by now....

(2 months later)

EVERYONE LOOK OUT! GODOT IS HERE!
__________________________

Okay.... that was the worst story I have ever heard.... I could have sworn that that happened differently... and if your story is true, how did his hair go gray?

He got cancer during the eye surgery and lost all his hair, and afterwards his hair wouldn't grow back so he just went out and bought a wig!

Glad I didn't go after your sister when I had the chance.....

Can we please leave? I think I have had enough evil glares from Mr. Texas Man over there.

You...... are definitely...... not hot.

AFTER I EAT MY BURGERS!!!!!

(20 bacon cheeseburgers later)

Well, that was a good meal! Shall we head off to Brooklyn now?

Are you sure you aren't related to me? You look kind of like me, except the whole demon look thing there.

Hey man, don't you go and diss my cult! I ain't got no relatives and I don't see no resemblance!

What about the hair?

NO RESEMBLANCE!!!!

Well, lets get this trip going guys!

*kneels down to Pearl* You be sure to take care sweet pea. And don't forget to get onto those others if they happen to tick you off. Maybe one day, I can hook you up into our group of misfits!

I would like that very much!

Pearls, enough getting influenced, we are leaving.

*screaming in a demonic voice* I SHALL CONSUME YOUR SOUL!!!!!!

...... okay, lets get a move on....
___________________
(outside the RV)

Aww.... you dudes are leaving already? Well, like, take care dudes!

Such a nice guy!!!

Oh hey Edgeworth! What are you doing underneath the RV?

I.... I saw things Wright..... things... that shouldn't be seen.... by anyone...... things.... unspeakable things....

I get it. You're traumatized. Now get up, you're driving.

*gets up and pulls on Phoenix's jacket* Phoenix.... he..... he..... called my dad a man slut!!!!

So did Von Karma. Big deal.

He...... dissed my alone time Wright! HE DISSED MY ALONE TIME!

Oh, it must be personal then....

No..... we have to get away from here..... far away.....

Where in the world were you when I said that just a few seconds ago?

We are leaving now!!!! And I am not coming back!!!!

Is it just me, or does Edgeworth seem a little..... crazy?

I put something in his drink.

Oh.... wait... when did you do that? I don't recall him even having a drink in this episode....

I have my ways....

But...

*in a demonic voice* I HAVE MY WAYS.

_______________________

With our heroes now departing the truck stop, what exciting road travels await them next? Find out in the next exciting episode of Dragonball Z The Search for Phoenix's parents!

---

SOMEWHERE...

Ehhh...my head hurts.

Ah! What the *censored* are we doing here!

I haven't the foggiest, Wright. I was just having my alone time, when all of a sudden I appeared here.

Me too, pal.

Oh, hey, Gumshoe. What you mean you were having alone time, too?

Of course, not. I was just playing my DS...

*flashback*

I can't present the right piece of evidence in my own testimony!

*flashback over*

OK. Now, who else is here.

Me.

Me.

Me.

Me.

Hey, Wright.

Yes, Edgy?

Why are we in a darknened room, all armed with katanas?

WHAT?!

*Samurai drones drop into room, and begin firing*

ACK!

*They all hide behind who suddenly appears*

Hey! What are you doing here?

Well, dudes. This is like my little games center, and I summoned you all here to participate in a battle competition!

Okay, we'll do it.

Okay. Let's begin.

He-heh. Suckers.

TO BE CONTINUED...

---

Okay dudes. Let's begin!

*announcer* And the first match is... vs. !

Come on, visor boy. Give me your worst!

That's it! Coffee spit!

AHHHH! MAH EYES! *falls over*

Who's dumb now, non-coffee-drinker!

You are, Godot! *sneaks sugar into Godot's coffee, and he drinks*

AHHHHH! Sugar! *explodes*

Phoenix Wright has won the first match!Second match: vs. !

Hi, Pearly!

Take This! *brings out shotgun, shoots Maya in shoulder*

Pearly! I'm your cousin!

*Keeps shooting*

(um...I know, I'll summon Mia!)

Hi, Pearly. *is shot*

Pearl Fey has won the second match. The third match is vs. !

....
....

Hey, look! A model who will date you, won't be murdered, and won't go to a remote location!

WHERE! *Edgy kicks Larry out of the ring*

And Miles Edgeworth has won the third match! Fourth match is vs. !

Detective Dick Gumshoe! Jump out of the ring!

Ummm....no?

Grrrr....

Yes, ma'am. *runs out*

Franziska von Karma has won the match. The matches will continue tomorrow.

Okay, dudes. Go and get some rest. Use these bedrooms I made.

TO BE CONTINUED...

---

That night...

*comes out of bathroom* Ah, that was an excellent alone time! *sits on bed*

Hmm...I could do with a glass of water. To the kitchen!

*Edgeworth prowls the corridors, and finds Matt in one room.*

Hahahahahahahah! Soon, I will have absorbed the powers of all the battle losers, and can rule the world!

I will stop your nefarious plot!

Oh, damn. I've been discovered. *Eyes turn into a visor, has a tendancy to say "pal" after every sentance, has an appetite for burgers, and grows yellow spiky hair*

Gasp! *grabs chair and hurls it at Engarde*

*uses laser eye beams to torch chair and Edgy. *Starts having strange cravings for "alone time". HAHAHAHAHA!

*Next morning...*

Unfortunately, Edgeworth has had an unfortunate accident while having alone time. Anyway, announcer...

Let's prepare for... vs. vs. !

Take that! *strikes Phoenix on head*

Hey, don't do that to Mr. Nick! I want to beat him! *leaps on Franny's head and makes her run around in pain*

Ah! Infant on the brain! *falls off, but Pearly stays on*

Meanwhile, 's right arm turns into a giant whip.

Why do I have to beat up a little girl? Oh, well. Pearly, come here. *kicks her off the edge*

*Grows spiritual powers*

What are you doing here?

Damn! Now you have discovered my secret. *Attacks Phoenix*

*dodges, and shoots Matt with a pistol*

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *explodes*

*all reappear* WE'RE BACK!

The End

---

Welcome everyone. My name is Phoenix Wright. We would like to take this time to apologize to all the truckers out there. We have gotten a few angry letters concerning how all truckers were stereotyped as the typical thug within our last episode. We have gotten many... how shall I say... lethal gifts through the mail and many death threats. Well, let me be the one to say that it was all done for the sake of hilarity, and if you can't suck it up and take it like the trucker man that you are, then why in God's name are you a trucker in the first place???

Ahem. Well, without further ado, here is today's episode.

Ahem.

Crap.

__________________
Dullahan is proud to present the 4th installment of the horribly made up off the top of his head supposed to be funny:

The Search for Phoenix's Parents!!!!!! *silence*

(Geez, I never get appreciated around here)

Ahem.... with all our favorite heroes!

Starring Phoenix Wright : A man who enjoys long cross country road trips and looking for things that are mere myth.
I tell ya! The loch ness monster was this big! I swear!!!

Miles Edgeworth : An emo wannabe who enjoys telling the most disturbing stories of his childhood in a vain attempt to get attention.
Von Karma said I look good in mommy's bra....

Maya Fey: A cute spirit medium who enjoys beating the living daylights out of everyone who doesn't please her.
Dulla, make fun of me again and I'll behead you the old fashioned way. Don't think I'm easy, I'm just letting you off with a warning because you called me cute.....

Ok..... Larry Butz: The side character of the story that no one ever cares about. All he talks about are women..... get a life.
Hey.... you can't ign...

PEARL FEY!
Hey!
AHEM! Pearl Fey: The adorable little cousin of Maya Fey. She seems to possess a special quality of having everyone who comes into contact with her liking her.
I can attest to that!

Ugh... and last but not least! Dectective Dick Gumshoe: A Los Angeles cop who for some unknown reason or another has decided to tag along with this group of misfit travelers. My guess is he lost his job and is traveling around with Phoenix and the gang in hopes of getting some free meals.
You didn't have to put it like that pal.....
__________________________
In today's episode, our friends have just left the truck stop and are back on the road. They now travel down a deserted highway.... for reasons unknown....
__________________________
Um.... I'm gonna take a wild stab in the dark here and say we're lost.

*driving of course* We're not lost Wright! This deserted highway is the fastest route towards our destination.... and besides.... it gets us away from that maniac at the truck stop faster.... *shivers*

Face it Edgeworth. We're lost. We didn't even bother to take a map with us.

Pshht. Who needs a map when you got me? I am the son of perfection.

You were adopted.... at the age of 10....

At least I know who raised me.

Good point.

Um.... guys... I'm feeling a bit.... nauseous.

Larry... do I care?

If you don't care, why drag me around on this trip in the first place?

You were the one who volunteered. You said that you desperately needed attention.

Maybe I should just go kill myself then. I have no reason to live. No one seems to care....

Hold it right there!!!! No one. I repeat! NO ONE TAKES THE ROLE OF THE EMO GUY BUT ME!!!! IT IS MINE AND MINE ALONE!!!! YOU WANT ME TO TURN THIS RV AROUND YOUNG MAN????

Geez... I can't even sulk.... fine I'll...

The alone time jokes are mine too! *glances at Phoenix*

It was one time.... geez....

Fine! I'll just cry myself to sleep. *goes to the back of the RV and into his bed*

Well, thats a relief. Now I don't have to hear another sob story.

Did I ever tell you of the time when Fransizka made me play dress up?

*looks at arm* Well, will you look at the time! Maybe I should go check and see how Gumshoe and the girls are faring! *runs to the middle of the RV, where Gumshoe, Maya, and Pearl are playing cards*

Yay!!!! I win again!!!

Geez Pearly! You've already stolen a total of over $40,000 from me and Gumshoe combined! Its not fair since you're already rich!

I still don't understand this game of battleship.

Its Old Maid.

I thought we were playing Rummy..... you don't bet in Old Maid.

Well, you guys did.

*approaches the three* Hey guys! Whats up!??!

Nick! I need money now! Sleep with me for $20,000!!!!

As tempting as that sounds, I think I'll pass.

Why are you charging Mr. Nick for a sleepover?

Change of subject!!!

*the RV starts to slow down*
Is it just me, or is the RV slowing down? (way to state the obvious)

Well, there can't be anything wrong with it. I filled it up with gas at the truck stop, and aside from it being a dangerously old broken down RV that shouldn't even be able to get even 2 miles away from its starting location, I'm sure things are just fine. It's probably just Edgeworth trying to avoid some poor little turtle struggling on the road.

*in the front*

C'mon little guy!!! You can make it! Don't worry! I won't run you over! NO!!! Don't go into your shell!!!!

*the RV jumps and the engine goes out*

No!!!! Clearly I am no match for the turtle! He has mentally destroyed the engine of our RV.

*runs up to the front* Edgeworth!!!! What did you do to my precious RV?

It burned out Wright.

Nick, you forced us to ride in this piece of crap, and now we are recieving the bad end of the bargain. Didn't anything click in your brain when you were picking out our transportation vehicle??? Anything at all???

Well.......

(yet another flashback)
________________________
*in an RV lot* Wow, all these good looking RV's are mighty expensive. With my meager defense attorney salary, and the constant forking out my own money to feed Maya's neverending hunger, there is absolutely no way I can afford any of these!

Why hello there good sir. Might I interest you in an RV?

Sorry sir, but I don't have the money to make a purchase.

Well, lucky for you I have a special offer for you! Buried down at the bottom of Gourd Lake is a one of a kind, 1960s RV that has been submerged under the water for over 30 years. It is yours for the mere price of $50. How much money do you have on you?

$400. Its my life's savings.

Okay. The RV is $400 dollars.

Um.... ok, deal!

(end pointless flashback)
_______________________
That story made even less sense than the ridiculous prices Chinese Infantry charges for his cheap products! I mean really, who would want to see Winston Payne nude and uncensored?

_______________________
(CI) And this special DVD of Winston Payne: Uncut and Uncensored can be yours for the reasonably low price of 7 payments of $59.89. Call within the next ten minutes and our company will ship out a naked blow up doll of our very own Marvin Grossberg! This money will be going to the Phoenix/Maya Shipping Will Take Over the Fandom, and then the World Charity, so its for a good cause. If you disagree with me, then I am going to shove this pairing down your throat until you beg for mercy..... I mean, have a nice day!

_______________________

Well, the RV is broken down and we're stranded in the middle of nowhere thanks to Wright's cheap tastes in vehicles.

Its not my fault I get cheap clients!!!

Why does Phoenix's current predicament seem like my life story?

So.... we are stuck and we can't move???

Seems like it. Someone is gonna get seriously mauled unless they get this vehicle back up and running.

Sorry to spoil your perky little attitude, but the last car shop was 50 miles away....

Then get moving.

Heck no!!!! What if that crazy psycho is waiting for me back there?

*demonic voice* GET MOVING!

Yes ma'am!!!! *gets out of the RV and runs towards the direction of the car shop.

You know thats gonna be about a good few days before he's able to return with some help.

I know. I just can't stand him.

Then why didn't you send Larry?

Who?

So.... what are we gonna do until Mr. Ed-gi-werth returns?

Heck if I know. The plot of this story is going absolutely nowhere.

*a car drives up next to the RV and stops right next to it. A mysterious figure steps out of the car. The sky goes dark and lightning strikes in the background while haunting music starts to play*

Night already, eh?

Yes captain obvious. Since ominous music didn't start playing until the car to the side pulled up to us, I'm going to go see who it is, just for the sake of trying to create a subplot within a story boldly going straight into the ground.

*looks at Gumshoe* Captain Obvious? Thats a superhero name! Are you a superhero?

No.... *sobs*

Great.... I'm surrounded by a baby and a gullible idiot.

*steps outside of the RV and looks around* Hello? Is there anybody there? I'm sure you're an evil prescence, so please reveal yourself! We need an arch villain for this funny. At least, Dullahan thinks we do. After all, he's typing in my dialogue as I am speaking right now.

????: We meet again. *ominous music plays again as lightning strikes in the background*

No!!!! Why must it be you?!!!

Because I want some screentime. Well, that, and I also have a score to settle with you Maruhodou.

Who?

*villainous laugh, starts out soft, then builds up* Heeheehee...... hahahaha.... Whahahaha.... MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! *insert more ominous music and lightning strikes, one hitting Godot's car and blowing it up*

Crap.

___________________________
What kind of score does Godot have to settle with Phoenix? How long will it take Miles to find the car repair shop? Will Maya forever be stuck with a gullible idiot and a baby? Will Larry forever be ignored? Why was there even no mention of the plot of looking for Phoenix's parents in this episode? Will CI sue me for putting him in my funny? And why am I asking you all these annoying pointless questions? Stay tuned for the next horrible exciting funny. Same Funnies topic. Same Court Records Website! Now to go live whatever life I'm supposed to have.....

---

I may as well give it a shot, here goes nothing...

The Truth about Maxwell

*flys around the area*

*sings* That, that, Dude Looks Like a Lady!

*falls*

--------------

The Ultimate Way to End a Court Battle

OBJECTION!

OBJECTION!

That's enough! Settle your differences once and for all!

1

2

3

4

I DECLARE A THUMB WAR!

Grr, Argh, Ugh!

Ack!

You Lose.

Best 2 out of 3!

*shrugs* Fine, you'll just lose again...

Uwah!

Hah! Won!

...

C'mon Edgeworth where's the shrug remark, huh?

Best 3 out of 5.

*sweatdrops* This is going to be a while.

Ooh looks like fun. I wanna play!

*smacks Udgey upside the head* Don't encourage them!

---

Another Day at De Killer Towers!

Don't mention the war. I mentioned it once, but I think I got away with it. So it's all forgotten now and let's hear no more about it. So that's two egg mayonnaise, a prawn Goebbels, a Herman Goering and four Colditz salads....no, wait a minute...I got confused because everyone keeps mentioning the war.
Will you stop mentioning the war?
You started it.
We did not start it!
Yes you did, you invaded Poland!

---

I think there's a lesson you need to learn, guys. Listen carefully.

The Little Blue Defense Attorney
I just heard of a murder case that doesn't exactly feel right. Who will meet the suspect so we can represent him?
Not I.
Not I.
Not I. (Just pretend that this is Case 3-3 and it will all work out.)
Then I will do it myself.
---
I just met the suspect and she let me represent her. Who will find the evidence to prove her innocence?
Not I.
Not I.
Not I.
Then I will do it myself.
---
I just found all the evidence. Who will take this to the precinct and have it analyzed?
Not I.
Not I.
Not I.
Then I will do it myself. (Gumshoe, you lazy ASS!)
---
I just got the evidence analyzed. Who will prove our client innocent in court?
Not I.
Not I.
Not I.
Then I will do it myself.
---
I just proved our client innocent. Who will get to use all the money she paid us?
I will!
I will!
I will!
Oh, no, I insist! Let me!
---
The end. Now, do you understand what I'm trying to say here?
Nope!
Nope!
Nope! Hey, by the way, Nick, I just got the 18-DVD box set of Ami Fey's Super Channeling Trainer! Pretty cool, huh?
Why do I even try being subtle?

Last edited by syckls on Tue Sep 11, 2007 11:56 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Ahahahahha! That was great!

The only thing I can think of:

.....meow.

---

Welcome back to De Killer Towers!
And if you have any questions...
What?
I said, IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS, TALK TO JUAN!
Who's the manager?
...Que?
K?
Si!
CK?
No, Que...is "what?"
CK Watt?
Si!
You make no sense at all, you silly little man!
=========
Juan! Tidy up! I'll leave the badger head here and mount it later.
Si, senor! (Hm. How are you? I learn English! I learn English from a book!)
(Grossberg enters)
Where's De Killer?
(Grossberg's point of view)
Hello!
Er, hello!
How are you?
V-very well, thank you.
I learn English from a book!
(Enter De Killer, who tries to mount the radio.)
I say, very smart badger you have there!
I thought it would give the place some grandeur.
Japanese, is it?
No, it's Canadian.
Good lord! And was it expensive?
No, only ten quid, I'd say.
R-really?

---

Last edited by The Doctor on Fri Sep 14, 2007 5:53 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I AM YOUR GOD! FEED ME YOUR SOOOOOOOULS! *menacing music*

...

Err.. Bark?

---

(It's actually going to be Noah in this one) Hey, Godot, do you have any double-A's?

Only the ones in my visor.

...Will you be looking at anything important today?

Well, no, but...

Great, thanks.

No problem. ...HOLY CRAP I'M-

I can’t do this all on my own
No I know
I’m no superman

[Lawyers]

I'm no superman!

My Amends

You know something about sacrifice? It's usually more YOUR pain than others. Or, in most cases with me, vice versa.

Hey, Bambi, have you seen the batteries for Godot's visor?

*playing Game Boy Color* ...No, no, uh... haven't seen them. ...Why did you call me 'Bambi?'

Because I thought 'Thumper' sounded suggestive.

But, you can always make amends. For as long as I could remember, amends made everything better, from China's faction to a whole list that you made as a kid.

Hey, Newbie. My wife is making me apologize to everyone for what I've done to everyone and you've piled up quite the list.

Oh, yeah, could you e-mail them to me?

No, no, I have to do this myself. Now, first I'm sorry for killing your pet, not watering your plant while you were away when I said I would, sending you a virus...

Really man, I just got to level nine and I need my focus!

You want my wife to kick my ass when I get home?

...A little.

...Yeah, I'll come back to you. See ya' Christi... Noah.

...I have a feeling this will work to my advantage.

------------------

Godot? Why are you wandering around like an idiot?

...The Kyouya? Is that you?

Of course it's me! What are you, blind?

...A little.

Sweet, now you can bring a dog into work!

Look, all I need is batteries!

Batteries, huh? Not really sure I'm into that fetish, but for a friend...

I mean like electrical batteries!

Ooooohhhhh. Got me there. The Kyouya is out!

...Who was that? I think I might be going deaf too! ...KITTEN?

-----------

*walking down the hall when he runs into a barricade* AGH! What the hell?

Hey hey, careful! I'm cleaning here!

Detective, where did you get this barricade?

Outside from the road!

Aren't you in enough trouble with the state as it is?

...What do you mean?

Well, you stole that stop sign, the chair from the witness stand, and two senators.

They were a gift!

Well, still, don't you think you should return those before they find out?

They didn't notice the senators?

Who would?

...I'll be back in a sec.

---------------

*sneaks up behind Lana* So, what are you doing?

AH! Uh... Marvin! I'm studying this case file!

Hm... Very well, carry on.

...WHEW! I hope he didn't notice it was a National Enquirerer-

A WHAT?

No- nothing! Nothing at all!

Is that a tabloid?

Um, it... it's what the victim was reading when she died!

Ah! Very good! ...I see Bennifer has broken up.

O-oh yeah! I liked them too...

A-HA! You need to study more! That says NOTHING about Bennifer!

Why are you always on my case?

Well, that's easy Miss Skye... I don't like you!

------------------

Godot, I'm sorry I lied to you about the GS4 spoilers.

Huh? Who's that? It can't be Manfred.

It is!!!

...Noah, are you playing a prank on me?

Oh, screw it.

Hey, you ARE Manfred! But like... some kind of Anti-Manfred.

Shut up.

THE END cuz I'm lazy......

---

Court is now in session for the trail of... am I reading this right? Shoe?
*Nods* The defense is ready, Your Honor.
The prosecution is wondering why he's even here, Your Honor.
No, really. The cat? Matt Enguarde's cat? The cute kitty that-
Your Honor, it really is Shoe.
You're next, Edgeworth.
Err, uhm, yes.
Anyway! The cat in front of us is on trail for the murder of Philly, Adrian Andrews' third fish.
She was yummy.



Your Honor, the defense requests the last statement be stricken from the record. For my sake.
I WILL NOT BE SILENCED!
I'll kill you myself, damn cat!
MISS ANDREWS! SIT DOWN, YOU FREAKIN' LESBIAN!


Alright, I'm going to request that last statement be stricken from the record.
(Why would you strike the truth from the record?)
I HEARD THAT!
(Damn! She can read minds?)
Well, now that we've cleared everything up, I think this is obvious. We find the defendant, Shoe...

DAMMITDAMMITDAMMITDAMMITDAMMITDAMMIT!
I never even got to mention my alone time...

(I'm so unfunny.)

---

Sweet! A SCRUBS parody! I'd be great in that part!
How would that be a great part for you?
Because SCRUBS is a show about doctors...I'm a doctor.
But you aren't really a doctor. You're just posessing a smiley of a fake doctor.
And Phoenix Wright is a real lawyer?
Touche`. But this show is about lawyers, not about doctors.
Do I have to use my Casanova powers on you?
...Are you gay?
No, my Casanova powers can do plenty of things. They can even stop bullets...or at least heal the wound pretty quickly.
Prove it.
*Snap, gunshot off in the distance, grab arm* OW MY F***ING ARM! *bullet falls out and arm heals*

---

The Search for Phoenix's Parents: Episode 5!

*Takes deep breath* Alright. Lets see if I can even make half an attempt to continue the roadtrip story. (I gotta wonder if it even qualifies as a funny... lol)
____________________________
*in bed* I am having such a hard time trying to go to sleep. Its torture knowing that in the morning I'm going to have to listen to some pointy haired lawyer making up random stories to try to get an innocent verdict on his client. I need my teddy....

*comes over to the bed in a silk nightgown with teddy in hand* Its ok. Perfection is here now.

I feel so relieved!!!!

Shall Von Karma tell you a story tonight darling?!

Yes daddy!

........

I mean God!!!

Very well. Once upon a time, this imperfect, greasy haired, defense attorney recieved a letter asking the whereabouts of his parents, so...

I already heard this part. I wanna hear the story about the toaster man!

YOU DARE QUESTION MY STORYTELLING?!

N-n..no. I.... um.... did I mention how perfect you look in that see-through nightgown?

Very well, I shall tell you about the toaster man. Ahem. Anyways, an imperfect man who was no where near as perfect as myself with a toaster on his face met head on with an even less perfect imbecile with greased up spiky hair, which everyone knows screams the opposite of perfection.

Tell me more!

Well, when these two imperfect creatures met... they......
_____________________________
*Scene is now focused on the side of an abandoned road, where two people are standing face to face. They are standing next to a burning sports car and a broken down 1960s RV. It is very dark out*

I knew I should have gotten insurance. No matter, a nice cup of coffee shall calm me down.

Godot you fiend! Explain your presence here!

Isn't it obvious Maruhodou? I am out for revenge!

Revenge? For what?

For what?!? I'll tell you for what!!!!
_____________________________
*insert flashback. Godot and Phoenix are hanging out in waiting room outside of the Courtroom taking a break.*

Geez Godot. I can't believe how riled up you are over Mia's death. I mean she was a tramp anyways. Besides, I didn't...

Maruhodou.

Who is this imaginary friend of yours you keep speaking of?

Just listen fool! Me being angry about Kitten's death.... it is all a facade.

A kitten died? I warned Edgeworth about having too much alone time...

CAN IT AND LISTEN! I told you! I am not angry about Kitten's.... I mean Mia's death. It was thanks to her that I have become who I am today. I used to be a national Hispanic pop idol with a coffee fetish, but now I am nothing more than a creepy looking guy with a toaster on my face and a coffee fetish. At least I save money on breakfast appliances...

Wait, you mean you aren't angry that Mia is dead? Then why the drama, man?

Everyone in court loves a good show you know.

Oh... is that all? *takes a cup of coffee and puts some cream and sugar in it* Ahh... the best part of waking up, is Folg...

What the heck do you think you are doing?!?

*holding coffee cup* What do you mean?

Look at whats in your hands!!! You soiled it!

Hey. I washed my hands pretty throughly after checking out this morning's playboy.

How could you contaminate something so.... so... sacred?!?

I ain't following you.

THE COFFEE!!!! YOU HAVE DEFILED IT!!!!

*takes a sip* It tastes fine to me.

BLASHPHEMY!!!! Those alien substances you have put into the sacred elixir has ruined all of the healing properties of the holy symbol!!!

Um.... if you are referring to me putting my sugar and cream into the coffee then....

YOU SLANDERED COFFEE'S GOOD NAME!

But I hate it black. Its too bitter.

That is it Maruhodou! You better look out. Watch your back. When you least expect it, I will find you. I will kill you.

All for the sake of me putting some flavor in my coffee?

I'll get you Maruhodou..... just you wait. *enters Courtroom*

*sips coffee*........queer.
_______________________________
And thats why I'm here Maruhodou. So you better prepare yourself to.... *looks around and sees no one around* Where in God's green earth did you go Maruhodou!?!? I will kill you!!!! I swear!!!!

*inside the RV*

So then this queer with the toaster face came up and said something about revenge, but I just ignored him. After all, he's nearly not as important enough as me to this story anyways.

Nick. No one cares. I just want to get this stupid RV fixed. I need my dinner! I am hungry and there is no way I am eating something like roadkill!!!

*looks at what he's cooking in the pot* More for me then I suppose.

Thats what Gant said.

......... Must we have something about Gant's creepy preferences in nearly every funny?

Yes. It makes the funny more original.

Pearl. Shut up.

*steps into RV* Thought you could hide from me, eh Maruhodou?!?!?

Who?

Thats what I said.

Silence fool!!!!! Prepare to face my laser beams of death! *visor starts to glow*

I thought it was a toaster.

Just for that, you die first!

Wasn't that the original plan?

Silence!!!!!!

Hey, does anybody want some coffee to go with this fried possum?

*turns off lasers* Did someone say coffee?

Yes. I have my own coffee maker right here....

Let me have a look at that..... *looks at coffee maker* OH. MY. GOSH!!!! This is a one of a kind coffee maker! The craftsmanship, the style, a....a.... coffee maker plus! Only 5 of these were ever made! Where did you get this?!?

It came with the RV...

Let me have it! I promise I won't kill you Maruhodou!!!

Eh....ok.

*holds it in his hands* EEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!!!! Godot is a happy boy! Yes he is!!!! *starts to jump up and down like a happy school girl, then looks at Phoenix*

If you need anything at all, let me know and I'll be sure to help you out!

Well, our RV is broken down and...

Say no more! I'll help out!

How?

Aside from making Toast and shooting laser beams, my Visor can also give me the tools necessary to fix a broken down vehicle!

Yay!!!! Now we can get out of here!

I love you Mister Toaster Face!

Uh huh... Just let me get to fixing this vehicle....

(3 days later)

*gets out of a car* Geez. That 100 mile hike sucked!

*gets out of a car* Well, let me look at that vehicle now sir!

Hey Edgeworth! Ww've been waiting for you! C'mon and lets go! We got our RV fixed!

WHAT THE CRAP WRIGHT!?!?! I spent three days trying to reach that stupid car repair shop, and you somehow got it fixed!?! Why didn't you tell me you knew how to fix the RV?

I didn't..... Godot did.

Hiya!

......... ugh.... lets get going.

What about me sir?

Get out of here. I hate you.

Yes sir! *gets in car and leaves*

*gets into the drivers seat and starts the RV* Don't anyone speak to me, got it?

(What a prick.)

*the RV drives off.....about a mile later*

*comes out of bedroom* Hey look everyone! I found a car repair shop off of the side of the road right out the window here!

UUGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *starts banging head on steering wheel*

I hope we don't crash......

He definitely takes after Von Karma.

I keep on thinking we are missing something..... hmm.....

*back at the place where the RV was stranded*

*hugging coffee maker* Oh sacred coffee maker! No one shall ever separate us again! *looks around*...... Well, how am I supposed to get home? I need my coffee and there aren't any outlets in the middle of nowhere! This is all Maruhodou's fault!!!! I'll kill him! YOU HEAR THAT MARUHODOU!!!!!????? I SHALL KILL YOU!!!! WWWAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!
____________________________
With our heroes finally back on track, they continue down the road on some quest that I'm sure many have forgotten about by now...... if you wanna know why they are on the road, read the title and come to a conclusion. Well, like most funnies/stories, I am obliged to say this, so I will. To be continued....

---

(bumping for complete awesomeness!!!!)

The Search for Phoenix's Parents: Episode 6

.... and so that's when I told him to get away from me because I have already found someone whose life means everything to me.

Awww..... you are so sweet to me Marvin. I can't believe I didn't see what made you so splendiferously appealing earlier!

And to think, I wouldn't have even considered the idea if Mr. Phoenix Wright didn't accuse us of being lovers instead of saying you were blackmailing me.

You don't have to worry about any horrendiously horrible people hurting you now!

Erm.... Redd...... I think we are on...

Oh.... is that what that red light on the camera is for???

..............

.............

Uh..... Welcome everyone to another non-exciting episode of a spikey haired lawyer on a neverending search to find something that he shall never find. Seeing as to how its all impossible.

Honestly, I don't even see why this funny is being continued in the first place...

Its a cheap way to make money so we can buy our special toys..... I mean lemons!

Marvin!!! Shush!!! They may find out!!!

Erm.... uh.... well uh.... lets start today's episode! My buttocks are feeling a bit uncomfortable!!!

I'll be sure to help you out Marvy!

We're still on.....

Oh for the love of......
____________________________
*Today we join our heroes, driving along the road. Since every show needs to have an obligatory beach episode, may as well do that with the funnies as well*

*pulls up to the beach parking lot* Well, here we are. Why is beyond me. Aren't we supposed to be searching for your parents Wright?

Continuity isn't that relevant in funnies anyhow! So loosen up!

I would, but there isn't anyone I'm here with that I would like to see in a bathing suit. The only females with us are just a bunch of children, and their figures..... well they don't have one. And not to mention the men here..... which by the way Wright, I'm not gay.

Never said you were.

Oh.... well yes um.... just remember that I'm not Wright.

*from the bathroom on the RV* Hey Mr. Edgeworth! I need help getting into my swim shorts pal!

I"M NOT GAY!!!!!

I..... I'm sorry pal.....

Well Nick, I am so ready to hit the beach! How do I look?

No where near as busty as your sister.

What?

You look more dazzling than the Greek goddess Aphrodite, the goddess of beauty.

You want me bad, don't you Nick.

Not in your wildest dreams.

What?

Yes my darling!!!! *grabs Maya's hand and they both frolick onto the beach*

Hey Mr. Ed-gi-werth!!! Do you think I look cute in my bathing suit?

I am refraining from answering that question. Just because I say I am not gay does not mean I am a pedophile too.

A pet-o-file?

Look! You're ugly ok!!!!

WWWAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!! *runs out onto the beach* Mystic Maya! Mystic Maya!!!

Good.... now if these other two losers would just.....

*runs past Edgeworth* WOOHOO!!!! BEACH BABES!!!! *runs onto the beach*

.....get off the RV.... was that Larry?

*comes out of the bathroom in a tight pair of swimtrunks.... and by tight I mean tight around.... uh... use your imagination* Uh.... Mr. Edgeworth....

Dang boy!!!! Who are you trying to impress with that attire! Out of my sight! Now!!!!

Yes pal..... *sulks onto the beach*

Well, now that I am alone in this RV......

*pokes head into the RV* Hey Edgeworth! I forgot the sunblock and the beach ball!

What??? I wasn't talking about your hard abs and well oiled chest!!!

Edgeworth.... shut up. *grabs stuff and leaves*

*on the beach*

*sniff sniff*

Its ok Pearly. You are the most adorable thing in the world! Mr. Edgeworth is just a prick.

Really?

No. Actually, he's something far worse, but I can't say this kind of stuff in front of you.

I'm back with the stuff. I hate Edgeworth.

About time slave! Now put some sunblock on my back!!!

*meanwhile*

I think my shorts are riding up pal....

Shush!!!! See that hot babe over there? I'm going to make my move!!! *runs off*

I wish Mr. Edgeworth was here.....

*in a skimpy two piece* Hey there handsome. Did you mention Edgeworth?

Uh.... yes?

*back over to Wright and the gang*

*rubbing sunblock on Maya's back*

Lower Nick.

Ugh.... *starts rubbing lower*

Lower....

Geesh..... *goes lower*

Nick..... lower!

That's it!!! I have had it!!!! You think I'm some kind of freaking pervert or what?!? All you do is annoy me and torture me to no end! My life was so normal before I met you and you have turned it into a living nightmare!!!! I am so sick of you Maya!!!!

N....Nick.... *cries*

Maya!!! I'm so sorry! I won't insult you again! I promise!

Kiss and make out!!!! I mean up! Kiss and make up!

Um.... Pearls.... I don't....

*kisses Phoenix on the lips* Ha!!!! I win the bet!!!!

What the crap Maya?

Pay up Pearly!

Aww.... I didn't really think you two would do it.....

I hate my life.....

*runs up to Phoenix and the gang* Pearl!!! How have you been!?!

Cody!!!! I'm doing great! I'm having fun with Mystic Maya and Mr. Nick! How about you?

I'm doing great.... aside from all the pain in my butt.

What happened?

I got married.

What?!?! No!!! We were gonna get married and have lots of babies!!!!

Married?!?

Dude, you're eight years old.

It was forced.... by my parents. They said I would be taken care of. My spouse has lots of money..... but nighttime is scary now...

May I ask who your bride is?

Ahoy Wrighto!!!!

Why am I not surprised?

Surprised by what?

You call it marriage, but all you do is rape the same little boy each and every night.

I'm not following.

How can I make it any clearer???? You're raping Cody!!!!!

Huh???

Wrighto... as hot as that sounds coming from you, I must deny it. I just came here to see Pearldickie in her bathing suit. I was hoping she would like to go for a swim. I like my victims....wet.

Eww....

*looks at Damon, then at Phoenix* I don't know what rape is, but there is no way I would marry a grampa like him!!!! Hes too old and very ugly!!!!

Ok.... now I'm so lost....

Pearldickie!!!! Lets go swimming!!!!

You gotta catch me!!! *runs off*

I love a challenge. *runs after Pearl*

Wait!!!! Pearls!!!! Ahh..... forget it....

*looks at Cody* So.... if you aren't married to Gant, then who are you married to???

Where is my little husband?

Over here master!!!!

What have I told you about conversing with these foolish fools you fool?

Don't?

You're going to be getting an extra helping of torture tonight in the bedroom. *drags Cody away*

Help me!!!! Mommy!!!!

Poor kid.....

*meanwhile*

So..... why are you wearing such a revealing suit? Don't tell me you and Edgey-poo have such a relationship. I get so hot just thinking about it.

You okay pal? I don't want you to pass out from the heat while imagining me delivering the paperwork to Mr. Edgeworth.

Is that what you kids call it now?

*comes back with a slap on his face* Why do the women hate me so? I just told this cute girl that I find her to be very hot and beautiful, but she thought I said that her butt was full and slapped me....... I didn't call her fat!!!! But thats what she said!!!!

I think you're handsome.

I'm gonna be sick......

*in the RV*

*looking at the magazine Lawyer's Monthly* Oh Phoenix. You must work out.

*pops in* Hey pal! I got you a visitor*

Not now!!!! Can't you see I'm..... uh..... busy?

Edgey-poo!!!!!

HOLY CRAP!!!!!

*back on the beach*

Tell me you picture me naked Nick.

I don't.

Yes you do!!! Admit it!!!!

I don't.

Oh my gosh!!!! I get it now!!! You have it bad for Edgeworth!!!!

I don't.

Geesh. You're no fun.

*comes up to Phoenix and Maya* Hi guys!!!! I'm back!!! Mr. Gant is so nice! He kept on talking about how pretty and how beautiful I was. And then he said I got a cute booty.

Okay!!!! We are leaving before Pearls starts to get any ideas!!!!

Don't worry Pearly. I'll be sure to give you the talk later. I'm sure you're curious about many things about your....

LEAVING!!!! NOW!!!!

*Phoenix, Maya, and Pearl come up to the area where the RV is, but all they see is a crying Larry and Oldbag buried in the sand*

I.... I can't believe it.

Where the crap is Edgeworth with my RV?

He left us Nick!!!! Just like every girl that has been involved in my life!!!!

Ed-gi-werth is a girl?

No one cares about your pathetic love life you thumb sucker.

...........

Larry. Just calmly tell us why he left.

*points at Oldbag*

HOLY CRAP!!!!!

___________________________
So what will happen to our heroes now? Since Edgeworth has frantically taken off with the RV in fear of Wendy Oldbag, what will Phoenix and friends do now? Will they give up their search, or find other means to travel? Stay tuned and find out later because I'm all out of ideas at the moment so thats why I'm stopping. To be continued.

---

You know, Edgeworth, you use the phrase "Alone Time" a bit too much. You need something less...
Trite?
Exactly- HEY!
Hmmm...How about...
Whack Attack!
...
I am officially never speaking to you again.

---

If this topic succeeds, I'll give up defending!

If this topic succeeds, I'll have alone time!

If this topic succeeds, I'll let you out of the closet!

YES!

Maybe not...

Aww...

If this topic succeeds, I'll won't be gullibe anymore!

Finally...

If this topic succeeds, I'll become a stronger spirit medium!

If this topic succeeds, I'll hit Mystic Ami with my ball!

Ball: HYA!

OW! OW! OW!

If this topic succeeds, I'll put my taser away!

Finally!

DIEEEEEEEEEEEE!

*short-circuits*

If this topic succeeds, I'll give up coffee!

....

Maybe not...

If this topic succeeds, I'll stop pausing at random moments and fiddling with my hair!

If this topic succeeds, I'll take my wig off!

How's this?

MAH EYES! If this topic succeeds, I'll hit Miss May with this combogulating wiretap!

Don't even think about it, bub!

If this topic succeeds, I'll reveal that I am Yanni Yogi, who killed Robert Hamm...oh crap. *arrested*

If this topic succeeds, I'll reveal the truth!

If this topic succeeds, pardner, I'll stop being a cowboy out on the open plains and become British. ....I say, old bean, what?

If this topic succeeds, I'll marry the weathergirl!

Um...sorry, Mr. Grey, but the weathergirl is in temporary "recovery". If this topic succeeds, I'll release her!

Succeed, topic!

If this topic succeeds, I'll exclaim in public, "Celeste sucks! I am a free woman!".

If this topic succeeds, I'll stop crying!

*drinking tears* Please don't. If this topic succeeds, I'll apologise to everyone I've hurt!

Coughyeahrightcough.

Die, Swallows! *zaps"

If this topic succeeds, I'll... *dies*

If this topic succeeds, I'll be even more grouchy!

If this topic succeeds, I'll give up magic!

If this topic succeeds, I'll set fire to the Gatewater Hotel!

If this topic succeeds, I'll hit my brother with a guitar!

Never! If this topic succeeds, I'll hit my brother with a knife!

*Garyuu swordfight*

*TOPIC SUCEEDS*

Everybody: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

---

Whistle while you work, Manfred is a twerp.. he;s half barmy, so's his army...

:manny: YOUR NAME vill ALSO go on ze list! Vot is it?

(nervous): Don't tell him Nick!

(Sorry).

---

Hi, I'm Noah von Karma,

I'm Luke Atmey,

And I'm Dr. Derek Styles.

We're hosting this special fundraiser to help fight illiteracy.

It's the number 8 cause of families breaking up!

So we're raising money to give to the Jackie and Ema Espa... Esper... Es... Christ, I can't pronounce it. ...Well, it's going to the... Foundation formally known as the Chinese and Ema Infantry foundation! That worked!

It will teach children like little Bobby here to read.

Uh... Sir, my name is Cody and I can read just fine.

You see how well it's working?

We have some lovely items up for sale today, and we won't go back to our regularly scheduled funnies UNTIL YOU BUY ONE. So pick up those phones! We want EVERY line ringing!

Our first item is the mandatory tote bag! BUT it's no ordinary tote bag!

*fiddles around with it*

Uh... O-ok, maybe it is. BUT STILL! Look how nice it is! It's even got our logo!

And it's only $10! ...We're getting a call. Yes sir, how many tote bags will we put you down for?

22!

And why might you need 22 tote bags?

I dunno! I just like tote bags!

...K then. ...Our next item for sale is a fondue maker! It was made in the mystical land of... Wisconsin! OoOoOoOoO! And it comes with a free fire!

This one costs only $13! You can get great fondue for only a baker's dozen of greenbacks!

...whatever the hell that means.

Now, this is a pen! Comes in clicky or twisty! The pens also work as close-combat weapons, as demonstrated by Hobo nick and this dummy!

HAYA!!!!

OW! YOU STABBED ME WITH A PEN!!!!!

...Yes, well, it's only three cents, supplies are high! We have like a million!

Next, we have this lovely t-shirt with WOOOOOOOL PADDING! It has our logo on it and WOOOOOOOL PADDING!

This shirt with WOOOOOOOL PADDING is only $5.99! That's a small price to pay for WOOOOOOOOL PADDING!

Oh yeah! WOOOOOOOL PADDING!

Um, guys? Do we... do we even know what WOOOOOOOOOL PADDING is?

...

...

...

...

...

...

Nope, no idea. Next is a special from TSS! A Spam closeout!

This kind of spam JUST missed the mark with TSS, so he's giving US the rejects! Isn't that great?

Choose from Omega Bob Marley, All I Wanted Was A Dr. Pepper, Tin-Tin, Redd White, or 222 Combo! All only $360 dollars!

Well, looks like we've reached out $500,000 goal! Thank you SO very much! We now return you to... this.

*static, then TV*

AAARR AR AR ARAR! AR ARRRRAR! AAAAAAAAaAAAaaAaAAaRRRRRRR!!!! AROOOOooooOOOooOOOoo! ARARARARA!!!

---

Court Wars

as Anakin Skywalker!
as Count Dooku!
as Padme Amidala!
as Darth Maul!
as General Grievous!
as Finis Valorum!
as Chancellor Palpatine!
as Boss Nass!
as Jar-Jar Binks!
as Obi-Wan Kenobi!
Misty Fey as Qui-Gon Jinn!
as "Queen" Amidala!
as R2-D2!
as C-3PO!
as Yoda!
Tsunekatsu Kitaki as Nute Gunray!
as Mace Windu!
as Jango Fett!
as Poggle The Lesser!
Zakku Arumajiki as Bail Organa!
as Captain Antilles!

And now...the origina films!

as Luke Skywalker!
as Princess Leia!
as Han Solo!
as Chewbacca!
as Grand Moff Tarkin!
as Wedge Antilles!
as Boba Fett!
as Lando Calrissian!
Bruto Cadaverini as Jabba The Hutt!
Bikini as Mom Mothma!
as Wicket W. Warrick!
as Captain Needa!
as Renz!
as Admiral Ackbar!

---

Accidently posted. Sorry.

---

And now... VOLVIC WRIGHT!

RAWR!

Whatchya doin' Mr. Volcano?

Hello, Tyrannosaurus Furio! I'm filling my water with volcanicity!

Ae?

Rain filters down through my handsome volcano lightning bolt to create a wild mineral water that grabs life (and a few other things) by the conkers and hydrates you 'till you shout "COME ON WORLD! I'LL HAVE YOU FOR BREAKFAST!" Try some!

*gulp gulp gulp* I DO feel hydrated.

COME ON WORLD, I'M TYRANNOSAURUS ZENNY, AND I'LL HAVE YOU FOR BREAKFAST! RAWR!

Eeek!

*erupts*

---------------------------------

Damon! Are you still filling your water with volcanicity?

And making it tasty for the kiddies!

George, so suave!

Well, my birds DO like a twist with their water!

YOUR BIRDS?

You can't say that!

MY BIRDS!

They like a fruit flavor when they're hydrating!

LOOK! BIRDS!

Tasty Volvic!

Zis water is delicious!

I'M THE DADDY NOW!

----------------------

Busy day, Furio?

Yes! I'm planning to snuff out all the lawyers and the plotting involved is astronomical! I'm up to my ears in graphs, charts, and venn diagrams, and I've even got the patience the size of a pea!

How DO you do it, Furio? Do you, perhaps, drink new, hydrating Volvic Revive? It's got Ginseng and Gua.... gua....... what's that word? Ah, I'll skip it. ...Ginseg that will help keep you alert!

Yes, I do! Now, I'm of to kill someone's parents!

WELL DONE TO REVIVE!

---

The Search for Phoenix's Parents: Episode 7!!! Woot!

So in the previous episode, Phoenix, Larry, Maya, and Pearl find out that Edgeworth has run away with the RV and so the others are stranded at the beach. Oh yea.... Oldbag is lying down in the sand, but who cares about her....

*in the RV*

Thank god!!! Now I can quit this search and go home. I can go home and enjoy my tea while I look whistfully out of the window. I can see it now....

________________
*in Edgeworth's imagination*

*sipping tea while looking out of the window whistfully* Aww.... what a beautiful day. Such a nice cup of tea and a beautiful view. Nothing can go wrong.

Hey Miles!!! Its time for your ten-o-clock!!! *takes out whip*

But honey!!! We aren't done yet!!!!

Back into the closet!!! I'm done with you for the night!!! *kicks him back in*

Oh.... joy....
________________

*end Edgey's thought process*

So why do I want to go back again?

Hey there pal!!!

WOAH PAJEEBEZ!!!!!

Pal, you ok?!

Do I look okay? I almost ran over a plastic bag!!! Do you know what would have happened if I ran it over? How did you get in here anyways??

I came in here with the old lady, you kicked her out, and drove off. I never left.

I guess you don't stand out that much to me then........ who are you again?
---------------*meanwhile*-----------------

Great, its so nice to be stranded on a beach. Especially when we are already hundreds, if not thousands of miles away from home.

Hey Nick, I hear this place turns into a nudist beach at night. We could have some fun!!!

Eww...... I don't want to see a bunch of naked people!!!

Its not that bad Pearl-dickie! I'm sure Wrighto has a great butt.

Remind me why I didn't kill you off in the last episode....

Alright. I'll be off. But I will be back!!! *takes out an umbrella and flys away as he sings Chim-Chim-Cheree from Mary Poppins*

A nudist beach?!? I wonder if I'll get to see any gorgeous babes!

Oh.... my head..... Edgey-poo... *gets up and looks around and sees Phoenix*

YYYOOOOUUUUU!!!!!!!

Great..... the pride of the party is up.

You!!!! You.... have caused me so much pain!!!!

If its because I had to cross-examine you during those Samurai-ish cases, then you had it coming!

Nick!!! Don't diss the samurais!

I'll diss who I want, when I want.

DIE SPIKY HEAD!!!! *jumps on top of Phoenix*

RRRAAAAPPPPEEEEE!!!!!!

No fair Nick!!! I was supposed to be your first!!!!

Nick's first? What is he, the twenty five year old virgin?

I don't see you having any better luck.

.....................

OH MY GOSH!!!! Mr. Nick!!!! What is she doing to Mr. Nick????

Pearly.... maybe its time that we had that talk.....

GET OFF OF ME!!!!! *kicks Oldbag off of him* Quick everyone!!! Run away before the cops come!!!

Why? You didn't kill her.... now if it was me on the other hand.... *glares at Oldbag*

I SAID RUN!!!!!!

------------------*meanwhile*-----------------

And then my mommy gave me a cookie and said that I could invite Tommy over to my house. But then the very next day, he beat me up. That's when I decided to become a policeman. I discovered that I like guns. As soon as I discovered that my permit was about to expire, I went to go get my license. And then, Missle bit me in the butt.

Hey cop. Shut up, will you? First of all, you are extremely annoying. I am never having you over at my parties again. Second of all, your stories are just bundles of crap. No one in their right mind can follow along with what you're saying.

I'm sorry pal........ I wish I could have a hug....

I. AM. NOT. GAY.

I just asked for a hug, not companionship.....

I wish Wright were here....... *looks over at Gumshoe* And not for the reasons you're thinking of!!!!

According to you, I don't think....

I just want him here because I'm sick of being stuck here with you.... in fact, I'm turning this vehicle around!!! We are going back to the beach!!!

What about the old lady?

We are going back home!

What about your sister?

I hate my life.....

------------------*meanwhile.... yet again*------------------

*Phoenix and the gang ran for about 2 miles before finding an empty church on the side of the road. Exhausted, they ran inside and are taking a rest.*

Huff.... huff..... we should be safe in here.....

Why do you say that?

Because churches repel demons.

I wonder if there are any hot nuns here?

Larry, even if there were, you wouldn't stand a chance with them. Nuns aren't allowed to be with another man. The only man they give themselves to is God.

Yeah right!!! Giving themselves to God is just a cover-up!!! All nuns are probably just some sort of secret religious lesbian cult!

Am I the only sane one here?

Whats a lez-bee-in?

I hate my life....

*in a nun's outfit* Mr. Wright??? Is that you?!?

Um....Ema, right? Long time no see!!!

Nick, who is this girl? Is she someone I should know about? Wait a minute.... she's a nun. Nevermind.

Actually, I just converted recently.

OK!!!! Nick, who is she????

Don't worry Maya. She was just a client that I had when you went away for your training.

Oh yeah Nick.... I know what you mean by client....

Nick!!!! Isn't she a little young?!? I mean, I know you like having underaged girls in the office and all, but c'mon!!!

I am not Gant!!!!

Oh you guys!!! Don't worry about it!!! Mr. Wright is one of the reasons I became a nun.

Why is that?!? PROBLEMS IN BED GIRLY?!? *raises fist*

Huh? Oh.... oh no!!! Actually, Mr. Wright made me realise that Mr. Edgeworth would never love me.

I did?

Yes. You told me that a man like him would not have time for a kid like me. So, I became a nun.

Lesbian cult....

WAIT!!!! This makes no sense! What about your love for science!?! You know the church teaches creationism while science teaches evolution!

Oh that? I realised that science was a bunch of crock. Especially since Mr. Edgeworth didn't care for my impressive skills. Joining the church has helped me to find my inner peace. Its also great to commute with all the other nuns here!

Lesbian cult....

Larry, it is not a lesbian cult.

Yes it is. Why else do you think we refrain from keeping ourselves away from men. We just use the whole drawing closer to God as a cover up.

So let me get this straight. Edgeworth turned you gay?

Yes.

Well I can tell you why! Its because Edgeworth himself is gay!

YOU LIE!!!! Mr. Edgeworth is the straightest man I know!!!

Pshht. In your dreams. Edgeworth is fruiter than a fruit cup.

You did not just go there!!!!

Why else do you think he wears something as feminine as a cravat?

Its stylish!!!

Its gay.

Thats it!!!! You are going down!!! *tackles Maya*

I am taking you down with me!!!

*Ema and Maya start to beat each other up, tearing off garments of their clothes, and scraping each other's skin with their sharp fingernails*

You know, watching two young girls in a cat fight is getting me very aroused.

Larry!!!! Not in a church!!!!

RIP HER HEAD OFF MYSTIC MAYA!!!!!! TAKE OUT HER HEART AND SQUEEZE IT IN BETWEEN THE PALMS OF YOUR HANDS!!!

...................

I mean..... poor Mystic Maya! I hope that girl doesn't hurt her too bad....

-----------------*meanwhile*-------------------
So after much debating, I have come to a conclusion. We are going back to the beach and for one reason only. Oldbag is outside, Franziska is inside....

Yea....so?

So??? So!!!! I can't run over Franziska in this thing since she's in the house, but I can run over that old lady since she,s outside!!!

But won't that make you a murderer?

Who cares? I'm an awesome prosecutor!!! I can prosecute myself!

You'll get yourself guilty.

Ok, I'll make Wright defend me.

But what about eyewitnesses pal?

I may need you to use your gun if I don't hit them all.

.........

*drives up to the beach, but no one is there*

What the freakin' crap? Did Wright pull a disappearing act on me or what???

They probably got tired of waiting on us.

No freakin' duh!!!

Hey pal!!! I see a light on at the church a couple of miles away!!!

Whats your point?

We should go there and ask God for guidance!

Guidance for what?

Religious Guidance?

Well groomed men like me don't do church.

Please?!?!?!?

FINE!!! Five minutes!!!

----------------------*back at the church*---------------------

Slut!!!

Psycho-whore!!!

You know, I gotta agree with Larry. This is pretty hot.

So does that mean you'd do me Nick?

Not on your life.

Pay attention to me you horny spirit freak!!! *slaps Maya's face*

Gasp!!! *slaps back* I'm not getting slapped by a lesbian!!!!

This fight is getting boring. I wanna go home.

*steps into the church* 5 minutes he says.....

*comes in too* I heard that....

*pushes Maya down* I recognize that voice!!! *gets up and runs over to Edgeworth*

Hey!!! You don't stop on me!!!

EDGEWORTH!!!! About time you came to get us you prick!!!!

Look Wright! I could care less about your..... what is this tugging on my beautiful cravat?

*blushing* H...Hey Mr. Edgeworth.... nice cravat.

Who the crap are you?!?

I'm Ema. You know.... your biggest fan?

I'm sorry, but I have no interest in the likes of you.

Besides Ema, I thought you converted to being a nun.

I'll go straight for Mr. Edgeworth!!!

Get away from me before I do something you will totally regret.

*starts to take off robes* Oh.... I'm sure I won't regret it...... *giggle*

OKAY!!! THAT'S IT!!! WE ARE LEAVING!!! ANYONE WHO IS NOT THIS ANNOYING STRIPPER GIRL BETTER GET ON IN THE NEXT TEN SECONDS OR YOU ARE STAYING BEHIND!!!!!

*everyone quickly piles into the RV and runs off*

Mr. Edgeworth........ oh well, thats what my cult is for!

Hey there Ema. You hungry??? *wink*

Hungry for some lovin'!!! *giggle*

------------------*in the RV*--------------------
Well, that was lots of fun!!!!

*tending to wounds* Speak for yourself....

We shall never talk about this again....

That fight was so....

I SAID NEVER AGAIN!!!!

Amen!
___________________________

We here would like to apologize to all the nuns who are out there. I am sure most of you are devoted to God. After all, thats what being a nun is all about, right? We just made up this cult for the sake of humor. If any of you ladies got offended then we are deeply sorry. But boy, would it be hot if that's what really went on.

Nick, are you done making a fool of yourself.

Yes. Now I'm probably going to get flamed more than before now.....
____________________________

As our heroes drive down the road, the destination to Brooklyn seems ever closer. Will our heroes make it safe and sound? And will Phoenix get flamed for the worthless comments he made? Who cares? This funny is nothing but a pointless story anyways!!!! TO BE CONTINUED!

---

A Bidoof. I lost to a friggin' Bidoof. How did I lose to a beaver!?
Why wouldn't you?
Tell, me why, Wright!
Okay, you're a gay emo who wears a stupid frilly thing and drinks tea all the time. Bidoof...The name wins over all of that.
No it doesn't.
Yeah it does. Watch. *Walks over to a conviniently placed microphone* Attention Kmart shoppers....Bidoof. *Everything within earshot fills with laughs*

---

And here goes another one of Mit-chan's Non-Sequitur random funnies inspired by cough medicine.

"...Wait...wait wait...I...HAVE TO KILL SCISSOR-KUN?!"
"SCISSOR-KUN?! I thought you had other nicknames for me?"
"Not in the script..." +Tosses it down+ "I'M GOING TO MY OFFICE!"
"Somebody's got their pe--"
"I'M NOT A GIRL! I DON'T HAVE PERIODS!"
"You. Now."
"...No."
"Come with me! I can save you from...um...Scissor-kun and...um...LINE!"
"How the hell did you make it through Nickel Samurai?"
"...I made it through that?"
"...I'unno."
"Well...there's a cutie...it's time for your..."
"..........YOU GIVE ME A CHECKUP AND I WILL KICK YOU!"
"Ah...the days of your youth. They're about to smell like lemony fanfiction..."
". . . . . . . . . . .NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
------
+Jerks upright in bed+ "Thank God that was just a nightmare..."
". . .No. That's what happens when you are whipped unconscious in your office."
". . .Again?"
"Yes you foolish fool."
"I hate you Francis."
"...Well...you learned your lesson yet?"
"Never..." +Flops back and passes out again.+

---

: Hey Manfred.
: Ja?
: I just came back from Germany.
: ...
: I realized something while I was there.
: Was?
: Germany sucks!
: Sie werden nicht Deutschland belidigen!
**BZZZZT**

---

That has to be best take on Edgeworth over Bidoof I have seen yet! *claps*

@Dulla: I love your "The Search for Phoenix's Parents" funnies and I can't wait for the next part.

(EZ) Bout time I get to writing this funny.

sorry EZ elias beat you to it.

(EZ) what!! who cares lets just go with it.

why?

(EZ) Want me to call TSS?

no sir

(EZ) Ready?

Ready!
------------------------------------

Last time on Gamefaqs GameBattle!

Damn it Bomber-man is one tough guy!
Common, he is a robot, of course he'll give you a hard time.
Yea but your chances of winning don't look too good for you.
Psha! I've got this competition nailed Wright.
Psha?? you actually used that word?
Yup, I will definately win.
I dunno, Link is the favorite to take 1st. And Agent J is too new to this, you should really worry about Bidoof.
Psha! Bidoof is my loyal pokemon, he wont betray me.
Yea, but that is only in your pokemon game, not in this...
I SAID PSHA! I WILL WIN!

Alright, but don't blame me if your beaten by the Bidoofs.


-----------------------------------

After the battle.

-throwing a Bidoof off him- Damn you Bidoof! How dare you disobey your master!
I told you to watch out for Bidoof.
How dare you mock me! My Bidoof team took out your EV trained team.
I told you, before, I didn't use the right TMs for my team, otherwise those bidoofs would've been toast.
You want a battle with my Bidoofs Wright?
Why?
I see not affraid of being humiliated by the Bidoofs? You'll see Wright, you will feel the wrath of Bidoof Edgeworth!
Bidoof Edgeworth? Did you seriously name a Bidoof after you.
Accept my trainer battle or I post up on CR that picture of you getting riden by Magus and bomber-man shoving bombs....
OKAY FINE I ACCEPT!
Psha! I've got this won!
Again with the Psha?

Tune in Next Time!

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The Search for Phoenix's Parents: Episode 8

You read that right folks. Welcome to the eighth episode of this pointless funny. Before we begin, I would like to take the time to read your comments and respond to them. Sadly, I don't have the time, and unless I have a stupid character next to me, I can't play the straight man to add to the humor. So today we have a special guest who will respond to you all today. Introducing everyone's favorite senile old coot, the nameless judge!!!

Isn't it a bit bright in here to be having a panty raid?

Ahem. Mr.... uh.... Judge. We aren't having a panty raid. *picks up a bag full of letters* Read a few of these and respond. I'm going to go take a nap in my office. *leaves*

Mr. Wright!!! I shall penalize you for this!!! You hear me???? *looks at the bag full of letters* Sigh.... may as well do this. I have nothing better to do and I don't have my pretty gavel to bang things with.... *takes out a letter* Okay..... let's see what it says here...

Liek hi ther!!!! My naem is Fangirl0901841!!! I jus haveto say tat I absoltuely LUV this series!!!! My favaorite person would have t obe EDGEWORTH!!!!!! HE IZZ SO HAWT!!!! I WANT TO TAEK HIM INTO MY ARMZ AND CUDDLE HIMLIEK A BABY!!!! *blowz up from exciteomient*

Oh my..... you poor girl. You had such excellent if not perfect grammar and you had to die because you blew up. You will forever be in my prayers. I hope that you are in a better place. I could go for some tacos right about now.... but I guess I can't huh? I'll read another letter. Lets see....

This series is amazing! Keep up the good work!!!

Blaze22

Why thank you. I would like to think that I have been doing an excellent job residing within the courtroom. No criminal has ever gotten past me. I've been in the profession for over 40 years and I gotta say that I love my job. I get a nice shiny gavel and I can make it go bang when people talk to shut them up! They all have to listen to me!!! My voice is supreme over all!!!! MWAHAHAHAHA!!!! *choke* *choke* Ok.... ok.... I got time for one more letter. Ahh.... here we go.

YOU SUCK! YOUR SERIES SUCKS! DIE!!! DIE AND MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE YOU QUEER!!!!

DullahanMurderer

Well.... this is pretty mean.... I mean.... I'm not gay. I'll have you know that if you are ever in my courtroom, I shall give you a guilty verdict! That should teach you a lesson!!!

Um..... I just got back in time to hear you respond to the last comment. I was just coming in here for some water.... can I just ask you one thing? You know these comments were intended towards Dullahan, the author of these funnies.

Is he gay?

No he isn't!!! Now again I will ask... why did you answer the comments like they were directed to you?

You mean they weren't? Wright, explain yourself!!! Are you making me peep through other people's personal letters? Is this illegal? You trying to get me arrested???

Uh...... those letters were for you.... You should go read them.... in the other room....

Wright... I don't think....

There's tacos in there.

I'll talk to you later. *leaves*

Ok.... Now that the idiot is gone, without further ado, I know present you with the new episode. May it rot your brain cells. Good night folks.

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*all our heroes are in the old RV driving peacefully among the road. Surprisingly, nothing bad has happened to them.... strange...*

*singing* I feel pretty!!! Oh so pretty!!!! I feel pretty and witty and...

Hey Edgeworth! Whats up?

...not gay... *stops singing* What do you want Wright? Can't you see I'm busy?!?

I'm bored. There's nothing interesting going on in the back of the RV. Our band of misfits are duller than dirt.

I'm sure they are much more interesting than me Wright. Now will you please leave me alone? I need to concentrate on my driving! Do you want me to get into a wreck?

......No......

Then get out of here.

Alright... fine.... I don't need you... *walks to the back of the RV*

So... did he mention anything about his flamboyant self, Nick?

No.....

Well maybe he would have if you would have made your presence um.... not known!

Oh..... that makes more sense.... shall I try again?

No!!! It would be too obvious now.

Why are you guys doing this to Mr. Edgeworth? He hasn't done anything wrong!

You're his lover, aren't you?

What's a lover?

GAH!!!! I'm surrounded!!!

You know Maya.... if you were a little bit older.... I wouldn't mind knocking you up....

THAT'S IT!!! THE NEXT PERSON TO TALK STUPID TO ME GETS THEIR BALLS RIPPED OFF!!!!

.........

.........

.........

Mystic Maya, why are you trying to find out if Mr. Ed-gi-werth likes grown up boys? Is that embarrassing or something? I mean, I like you, and no one is making fun of me for that.

EERRRRGGGHHHHH PEARLY!!!!!!!!

....... Mystic Maya???

*calms down* Its.... uh..... too difficult to explain..... We um... just like making fun of Edgeworth because he is so serious all the time.

Watching him is like watching Maya's pet rock, Frankenstein. Uninteresting.

Hey!!!! If he hits one more person square in the forehead, he'll level up and learn harden!

Heh heh..... Harden....

You make a sexual reference about Frankenstein using harden and I'll....

Sorry!!!

Ok, this small talk is getting boring. When is the plot going to shift into a more interesting direction?

*day suddenly turns to night*

Okay.... maybe it is going somewhere....

*yelling from front* Hey everyone! We're stopping at the next motel I see.

Why would you do that? We can sleep in here!!!

*yelling from front* It smells like pee!!!!

Y'know... it kinda does...

Sorry. I couldn't find the potty last night...

Get me outta here!!!!

*the group arrives at a motel and all step outside of the RV and enter the motel*

Welcome to Payne motel where our slogan is "Insult us and we'll grind your bones to dust." How may I help you?!

........... We would like tw...

A honeymoon suite for me and Nick!!! *wink*

NO!!!! NO HONEYMOON SUITE!

Aww... c'mon Nick.... you're no fun!

Then what will you two be having?

BEFORE I was rudely interrupted... *glares at Maya* I said that we would like two rooms! One for us guys, and one for the girls.

Oooo. Edgey wants to sleep with men.

SHUT UP!

Alright, for how long?

One night.

Let's see.... two rooms... one night.... that will be $500.

WHAT!!!???!? This isn't the Hilton! Why I oughta....

Ahem.... our slogan?

You don't look that intimidating.

Oh Terry....

*emerges from the shadows* Yesh bossh?

We seem to have a dissatisfied costumer.

Way to go Edgeworth.... another big brute is going to beat you up again.

Um.... no complaints here! I was just going to pay my money upfront right here and now!!!

I eatsh punksh likesh yoush for breakshfesht.

You eat big steel balls too.

Well, if you're going to pay, then you are dismissed Terry.

I'llsh be washing you. *goes back into the shadows*

I'm sure Edgeworth would love another man giving him a bath.

I think he said watching Maya.... he does have a big steel ball in his mouth...

Thank you for your patronage. Let me get our bellboy to take up your things. Bellboy? *claps his hands*

Yessir?

Please carry our guests' things to their room.

Y-Yes sir.

I am officially creeped out...

*The men arrive in their room. There are two king sized beds.*

Crap. I'm going to have to sleep with someone...... I get a choice between a spazz, a confused moron, and a fruitcake.

You're not so perfect yourself Wright.

E-E-Excuse me. I'm here to bring your towels.

Its the nice bellboy.

N-No. I'm the maid. *gives them towels and leaves*

This is so not hot.

Anyone else creeped out by all the nerdy look alikes?

Maybe they're brothers.

Maybe they are apart of Edgeworth's sexy foursome.

I'LL KILL YOU WRIGHT!!!!!

*meanwhile in the girls' room*

I'm horny.

Horny?

I mean hungry! Boy am I hungry!!!

You're always horny.

I SAID HUNGRY!

That too.

*thunder is heard from outside*

Oh great..... rain.

I like the rain. Especially the pitter-patter sound it makes on the roof. It helps you go to sleep.

I like rain too, but not when there are a bunch of creepy look-alike weirdos in here.

I've only seen two.

Pearly! Look at the 3 maids we have in here tidying up our room!

*there are three maids that look like tidying up the room.*

I'm scared.

*loud thunder is heard as the scene shifts over to the guys' room*

*Phoenix is lying in bed with Edgeworth*

Don't you dare try to make a move on me Wright!

Well this is definitely gonna boost up the P/E yaoi fanfics.

*loud thunder strikes again*

That thunder is scaring me! I wish my mommy were here!!!!

Is she hot?

She has a moustache pal.

Eww.....

*loud thunder strikes again and the power goes out*

GACK!!! I can't see!!!!

Stop grabbing my leg Edgeworth!

I thought it was your.....

My what Edgeworth?

......your hair?

* a strange laughter is heard from down the hallway*

This is foreshadowing, isn't it?

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Our heroes have seemed to have lost power in the hotel, scaring the pee outta them. It sure doesn't seem to help them that they are staying in a motel full of creepy Winston Payne look alikes. I'm sure a motel like this is someone's dream fantasy I'm sure. I'm looking at you RevFirst! jk. Anyways, stay tuned to the next episode..... uh.... funny. To be continued...

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