Dear Mommy, I was checking the forums today after blogging about my throwing up at Six Flags, and some people on this forum say I **** off all the time! It's all a lie, Mama! Really! I don't even know if I have one of those or not! Oh, yeah, and I fell off the swings at the park yesterday and skinned my knee and it huuuuurt. But I put a band-aid on it all by myself and then I felt better!
Love, Miles.

____________________

Dear Worthless Tool, STOP CALLING ME MOMMY. No Love at all, Manfred von Karma.
PS- Where's the spare house key? I've been trapped outside for weeks now, and I'm about to resort to eating the neighbor's hell-hamster.

____________________

Pfft, I'm TOTALLY better than Elle Woods...
OMIGOD!

____________________

Wait, I'm already one Garyuu enough...WHY DO WE NEED KYOUYA?
Easy. I'm the good humored Fonz-like guy. Aaaaayyy.

EDIT: *top of the page dance*

Turnabout Girl Squad!
Cheerleader!
So and So!
What's Her Face!
The Ugly One!

And lunch today will be a breadtangle of pizza. Don't forget the battle of the bands this Friday. Edgey, point your rear end in the direction of the principal's office.
Awww, peas!
Y'hear that girls??
Pizza belongs in a triangle!
That Edgey is SUCH a renegade!
No youse guys! The battle of the bands! We can form a band and become...
WORLDWIDE STARLETS!!
Worldwide starlets get much boys!
Or so I have read. Obviously, I'll sing and pretend to play guitar.
Can I not get stuck playing bass?
NO WAY!!
We'll be called "Smartly Pretty".
Augh! Bleh! Ewww! Grugh! No. We're called "Kissy Boots"!
We can practice after school in my sister's walk-in closet!

After school!
Your sister has questionable taste.
And like a million jogging suits.
YOU LITTLE BRATS BEST SHUT YER YAPS!!!
Yes Ms. Skye...-erson.

Count us off, Franzy!
One, two, three and a four!
Ooncha ooncha! One, two, three-cha! We're Kissy Boots and it's nice to meetcha! Ooncha ooncha! One, two, three-cha! Gonna get a breadtangle of pizza!
16 hour drum solo! doo do boop bop...
FLOOR TOMMED!!!!

BATTLE OF THE BANDS!!!
Alright, give it up for "Fatty's Big Chance."
Pick it up! Pick it up! Hup! Hup! Pick it up! Pick it up!
Next up is "Kissyboots".

Where is Ema? We can't play the hits without her!
I'm going with that gloomy keyboardist look I keep hearing about!
KRA'AGH! KLEET'OH BRANGH CHE'EKOH TAGHQ?
My autograph? Why sure!
TWELVE SIDED DIED!! Oh, that's rough.

I'm Kissyboots and she plays bass. One, two, three, and a four!

My bass feels seaworthy.
JGHOWMP!
OW! My most of me!!

Dis my new backup band... a shark. One, two, three, and a four!

It's over! It's over! This funny is over! It's over! It's over! Everybody died 'cept me!!
CHOMP!
Aw, crap!

Aw, come on prinicpal Phoenix. I only stole ONE Sega tape!
That's just it, Edgey... You could have stolen UPWARDS of one Sega tape.
Awww PEAS!
Kid, I think you're gonna turn out... HG HJHG HAAAALL right!

IT'S OVER!

---

All right children. Gather around. Its time for Mr. Gant to tell one of his stories from his famous book: Gant's Fairytales of Crack: and Other Insignificant Stories

YAY!!!!

Alright kiddies.... I shall tell you a story today of great proportions... *looks at audience* What??? I'm not going to rape them you sickly scum. I'm not a pedo in every funny. *looks back at Pearl and Cody* Today's story is entitled: The Bionic Attorney.

Once upon a time in a random city in some random country, there was a man by the name of Phoenix Wright.

Hi! I'm Phoenix Wright!

Now Phoenix Wright was just a normal everyday attorney until that one fateful day....

*walking down the street while whistling* Such a beautiful day!!! Nothing can go wrong for this normal everyday attorney named Phoenix Wright! And that's me!

But as our hero was whistling wandering around the unknown busy street, something crazy was lurking around elsewhere down that street.

* and are riding on a motorcycle with driving of course.... DUH!!!!*

Honey!!! Please slow down!!! You're going too fast!!!

Nonsense honey!!! I'm fine!!! *turns around to look at Ron* Wait a second..... you're not my hubby!!! You're CI!!!

Is it that obvious?!? I just wanted a ride!!!

No you didn't!!! You just wanted a way to sneak into another funny to sell some more of your random crap or force others to ship Phoenix/Maya!!!!

Not this time I swear!!! Please watch the road!

Get off of here now or so help me I'll...

*takes out a bucket of feces* Buy some random crap!!! Only 6 easy payments of $29.95!!!!

I knew it!!!! *kicks CI off of her motorbike*

I REGRET NOTHING!!!!

Finally!!! *turns back around to look at the road* HOLYCRAPANORMALEVERYDAYLAWYERISINMYWAYANDICAN'TSTOP!!!!!

*turns around to see Desiree* HOLYCRAPAMOTOCHICKISGOINGTORUNINTOMEANDICAN'TDODGEHER!!!!

* runs into breaking just about every bone in his body.*

Ow..... I can't feel anything and I think I'm wet in more places than one.

OMG!!! I am so sorry!!!! Quick!!! I'll call 911!!!!

You press the buttons 9-1-1 to call.

I know that. We aren't recycling an old joke with the whole 'what's the number to call 911' routine!!!

So the super sexy biker chick called 911 and the poor average everyday attorney was carried away to the hospital.

Poor guy!

What happened next!? Tell us Mr. Gant!!!

Very well then kiddies. The poor lawyer was beyond being able to recover by having surgery. There was only one option left.....

Put him to sleep and bury him in the back?

Base the story around a new central character?!?

NO!!!!!!!!!...... I mean no..... our everyday hero was taken into the emergency room where just about every body part was replaced with new mechanical limbs since that was the thing to do when your average everyday limbs were left to rot.

HE BECAME THE BIONIC ATTORNEY!!!! DUM DUM DUM!!!!

......... this story sucks.

It gets better!

It has been 2 weeks but now I am out of the hospital. With my new found limbs I now have power that I didn't have when I was just an average everyday attorney. *phone rings*

Hello?????

I know where you were last week.

In the emergency room....

Um.... doncha think I'm funny???

Who is this???

W......Waffleman??? *hangs up*

Well that was a waste of about 5 seconds worth of reading for the poor viewers.

Hey pal!!!!

Ahh.... my good ol' pal Gumshoe!!! Whats up???

We need you in court now!!! We are in desperate need of a defense attorney!

What? Now!!!

You're defending a celebrity!

So?

Mr. Edgeworth is the prosecution!

Sweet!!! Now I can test my new bionic powers on him!!!

What???

TO THE COURTROOM!!!

And so after the unnecessary cameo, Phoenix made his way to face off against his old rival, Edgey!!!

Wait...... why are you calling him Phoenix and not Wrighto?

Shut up boy. Its my story and I can tell.... I mean read it the way I want to!!!

But you haven't even turned the page since we started....

SILENCE!!!!

So WRIGHTO and Gumshoe made their way to court where they faced off against WRIGHTO's rival, Edgeworth.

Don't you mean Edg...

............

Continue. kthx.

Ahh Edgeworth. We meet again.

Shut up Wright. The trial is about to begin.

We begin today's trial for the defendant Mr. RevFirst. Does the defense have any opening statements.

CRUNK!!!!!!!

Uhh.... I....

Potato chips got me laid!!!

As I was saying....

Shut up Darzie P! Your mother is contagious!

Why are you being so formal with me??? I WILL DEVOUR YOUR SOUL!!!!!

............. This bean burrito I had this morning is giving me gas.....

As I was trying to.....

........

........

Um.... finish please???

Sorry your honor, I was expecting to get interrupted again.

CRUNK ME NAO FURFAGS!!!!!

AHEM!!!! MR..... I mean Mr. RevFirst has been accused of 23 murders, 59 rape attempts in which only 1 of them were successful and only because the victim was willing.

Your mother was great Darzie.

I'LL KILL YOU!!!!

Anyways, he has also been arrested with 57 DWI's, has been known to publicly streak on Wednesdays, and has been accused of mating with several species of cockroaches. I also have proof right here that each and every one of these acts have been caught on tape by one of our own witnesses uh.... Darzie P. There is no way he could be innocent with all this spankin' evidence I have.

.......

That will be all your honor.

Yes, this case may be impossible for a normal everyday attorney, but now that I am a bionic attorney, there is no way I can lose.

Does the defendant have an opening statement???

Of course I do your honor. Edgeworth....

Yes Wright???

*phoenix points up his objection arm, and as he does, his arm dislodges from his shoulder and flies straight into edgeworth's eyes*

AHHH!!!! My eyes!!!! I can't see!!!!

Well crap.... *starts to shake and falls into pieces*

Umm....... the defendent is guilty!!! Case closed!!!

You win this round Darzie.... you win this round.... *takes off clothes and runs around the courtroom naked*

MY EYES!!!! I FORGOT!!! ITS WEDNESDAY!!!! AUGH!!!!

And so, Phoenix, who fell into a million pieces was brought back to the doctor to get checked up on.

Can you help me doc?

Well, if putting you together with cheap rusted car parts and bubblegum and scotch tape didn't help, nothing will. You are a lost case.

What??? You are such a cheap doctor!!!

Doctor??? I'm Eliasbloodmoon!!! I ain't no freakin' doctor!!! I just embody his smily!

And thus we conclude with an exciting episode straight from the famous book of: Gant's Fairytales of Crack: and Other Insignificant Stories!

I think this story just made me lose a few IQ points.

This is definitely why TV is superior to books.....

* and leave*

Be sure to tune in with us next time as I read another fabulous story from my wonderful book!!!!..... I may need some new kiddies to come around to hear me read though. If you are a kiddie and are interested in coming to hear me read live in person, just contact me at *gets slammed in the head with a sword and is knocked unconscious*

YOU SUCK!!!!

---

[Har har, blatant Trigun reference ahead. :D]

"ARE YOU DISSING MY BEAUTIFUL ANGELINA 2, ODEKO?!"

"Actually...I'm dissing you. Not your stupid broken motorcycle..."

"Come again, scissorbangs?"

"HEY! WHO YOU CALLIN' SCISSORBANGS?!"

"I'd say it's pretty damn obvious..."

---

Last edited by Mitzy on Mon Oct 15, 2007 10:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Turnabout Girl Squad!
Cheerleader!
So and So!
What's Her Face!
The Ugly One!

Okay my spanish galleons, this summer's gonna be different! Say guh-bye to hanging out next to this old person!
Bye old person...
Cuz now I'm best friends with an olda girl what has her LEARNER'S PERMIT!!!
LEARNER'S PERMIT!!!
LEARNER'S OINTMENT!!!
I've had my license for a year—
Stop saying words. Here she comes now!
10 o'clock and 2 o'clock!
DRIVER'S ED'ED...DEAD
Owww, my entire life!

Whoa, Maya's gone.
WE'RE FREE!
We're ointment!
The tyranny is over!!
I can overachieve like a bandit!
I can date science-fiction Redd again!
I CAN STOP SHOWERING!!!!
I can be a teen girl!
Ain't no teen girl.

Chomp chomp chomp chomp...Quite good, quite good...chomp chomp...

You guys, I think this might be the start of a kinder, gentler turnabout squad of girls.

A glue stick, some glitter paint,
Words cut out from a magazine,
BFF carved in a tree,
That stands for BAOW! FOM! FROOSH!

A port-o-john came to life,
Put on a play with Ema Skye.
Unfortunately, they didn't
Get very good reviews.

Maggey Byrde ate Staple Sauce,
A heaping bowl of Staple Sauce.
Then crazy Learner's-Permit-Girl
Gave me a ride to Babbage's.

What?! They don't got no Turbografx games?!

Okay, my art galleries, let's get ready to be...
SO DEAD!!!!
I look so good.

I knew she'd come back to me. Ever since my experience points went into triple digits I've had to keep the ladies and valkyries off with a 2 handed plus 3 broad sword.
Hey! Quit bitin' my style!

Hey! Who did the rest of my pre-algebra homework?
The Over-Achiever Bandit strikes again!!!

IT'S OVER!

---

Jackie Estacado presents (in order to ruin the hopes and dreams of fangirls and fanboys alike):

YOUR PAIRING SUCKS!
A completely libelous, slanderous review on the pairings of Phoenix Wright

(Author's note: The following is complete satire. If you can't take a joke, I'd suggest you stop reading)

Hey, you know that touching 500,000 word Phoenix/Edgeworth romance novel you're working on? Well, it sucks, you know why? Every single pairing you support is complete bullshit and you're an idiot for even thinking it could work.

Phoenix/Edgeworth: According to the fandom, if you don't support this pairing, there is something wrong with you. According to me, if you do support this pairing, get your head checked. Apparently, there is no such thing as friendship between two males, as this pairing evidently points out. Even bigger are the fucktards who have the nerve to call this shit canon. You want to see canon? Look at Ron/Desiree (which also sucks, but I'll explain that later)

Phoenix/Maya: LOOK AT ME! I PAIRED THE MAIN MALE CHARACTER AND THE MAIN FEMALE CHARACTER! TEE HEE HEE HEE HEEEE! Seriously, I don't know how this even got this many votes in the pairings pole, the chances of it happening are about the same as EA releasing a good game. Also, if you think this is canon, you're an idiot.

Edgeworth/Franziska: AYUP, TIME SOME GOOD OL' FASHIONED INCEST! Despite the fact that the game makes it very clear that these two are siblings and nothing more, some people would prefer to be in denial and ship the two anyways. If brother and sister fucking is your idea of a good pairing, by all means support.

Edgeworth/Gumshoe: "BUT JACKIE, THIS PAIRING IS SOOOOO CANON! TRUSTING RELATIONSHIP MY ASS!" Alright, I'll concede that Gumshoe has a gigantic boner for Edgeworth. I'll concede that he worship the ground Edgeworth walks on, and sometimes, I find it adorable. In return, all I ask is for you to sit down and think "Would Edgey-boy actually love him back?" If you come to the same conclusion I do, you would say "No fucking way."

Gumshoe/Maggey: "OMFG, IT'S SO CANON! IT'S SWEET, CANONY GOODNESS!" No, it's not! Otherwise, these two fuckers would be making out left and right. There is a rather big difference between a canon crush and a canon relationship. Basically, this is the het fan's answer to Edgeworth/Gumshoe, despite the fact that both pairings are as one-sided as Fox News.

Gant the Molester/Manfred the Impaler: First of all, I don't know why I used those titles. Secondly, this is what happens when fangirls get sick of looking at pictures of two girly men slobbering on eachother's dicks: they use older men. Nothing in the game, not even some bit of precious subtext says that these two are even remotely attracted to eachother, other than the fact that they are both evil bastards with a boner for murder.

Franziska/Adrian: Alright, bitches, now I'm attacking yuri pairings. According to I don't know who the fuck, it states that "a video game character's sexuality is never clear unless explicitly proven otherwise." Half of the fandom thinks Adrian is a lesbian, and maybe they are right. However, Franziska's sexuality is still a mystery. I'm willing to bet that half the people who support this don't even know why, other than the fact that "LOOK, THEY'RE A LOT OF FANART OF THE TWO LESBIAN FUCKING. I'M GOING TO GET A GIGANTIC BONER AND START JACKING OFF TO IT! OHH HAPPY DAYS!"

Mia/Lana: I swear, one piece of subtext and you fuckers declare "PAIRING! PAIRING!" That, and I'm fairly certain that horny fanboys having a think for jerking their dicks off to pictures of two women having sex have something to do with it. Plus, Mia's rather...dead. The chance of this one working just went to zero.

One more...

Ron/Desiree: COME ON, THIS ONE'S TOO EASY TO SUPPORT! THESE FUCKERS ARE MARRIED FOR RA'S SAKE! Hey, my mom and dad are married, doesn't mean I ship them now do I? The reason this one sucks is the fact that people think these two will stay together forever and no crazy shit will happen allowing either of them to be single again.

---

That...was...strange.

---

whoopsie
missed again
ha ha ha ha
you escaped this time Mr Miles Edgeworth
loooooooser

---

Uh, JE? Unless that was meant jokingly, then that's a just a smidgen rude....If it is just kidding around, then, all's well.

Does that answer your question?

*sighs*

---

CI, that was great! Good to see you posting on the funnies again!

---

Mr. JE, I enjoyed reading that.

---

Yes 8D

I was mas-- *stabbed*
I was mass murdering.

---

FALCON FINGER!!

---

"I was mas--"
"We've heard that one a million times..."
"I was mass-collecting Nickel Samurai memorabilia, but since you want to be a jerk about it...I may sell that collection just to get some Jammin' Ninja merchandise..."
"...You do and I'll...KILL YOU."
"...DO IT ANYWAYS TO PISS HIM OFF!" -Runs away.-

---

This is simply one of the best takes on The Edgeworth's alone time joke ever.

You know it's kinda easy to tell he was joking. He's a PhoenixXMaya fanboy.

---

Turnabout Girl Squad: Tenthennial Extravaganza! In 24 Great-Smelling Colors!
Cheerleader!
So and So!
What's Her Face!
The Ugly One!

Lunchtime gals. Now let's get ready to eat...
NO FOOD!
Eating lunch is for weirdos.
Holla grlfrndz. It's Corn and Corn Alone Day!
Corn is no place for a mighty warrior!

So... who wants to come to my sweet someteen birthday bash tonight?
Is it going to be Nick-at-Nite themed again?
I don't think I can stomach another show not on the WB.
No! We can't come. We have...the...Olympics...tonight!
Oh, cuz it's a boy/girl party...
a B'GRL PRTY?!?
Taking the vowels out of words doesn't always make them cool.
'm srry.
So, coach just called and said the Olympics are dumb. We'll be there like shareware!

I don't know what they're talking about, I swear!

Now, more than ever before, let's get ready to look....
SO GOOOD!
Whoa! That was about the coolest thing ever! Do that again.
SO GOOOD!
Uh-oh. We got a spinner.
Wheeeee!

Alright, wallflowers, watch a professional at work... I'm fit to get makey outy all over those uppaclassmen.
ACHGH!
ACHGH!
ACHGH!
Any o'you boys wanna ditch this preschool party? I know of a couple HAWT junior college jams we could hit.
CABER TOSSED!!

I really want... some of these chips.
Tonk! Ponk!
BAGH! Only 23 metres!

Corn chips are no place for a mighty warrior!
LATHE'D!
Oww! I hope they have those corn chips in heaven!

Say, Edgey, Derek Stiles and I are Splitsville, so I'm lookin for a little rebound action!
Hecks no! I got Bowser on the ropes!
Puh-owned! Or however you say that...

OK, party people, get ready to give it up for my little girl on her sweet someteenth birthday... and remember, if you're looking for low prices on used and broken electronics, don't forget... Manfred Von Karma's Lectro-Pawn!
p4wned!
And here she is... Franziska!
Whoa! New hotness!

Thanks for coming to my party everyone! Now let's get it on like Diddy Kong!
ARROWED II! ELECTRIC—
Wait a minute! Not this time, mister!

Oh, why, hello, Franzy, you're looking so makey outy tonight.
Why thank you Sir Hotbod Handsomeface. So are you!
Oh...mmm, not bad...oh, twice...
Aah?
Aaa?
Meh?
Oh! T-this is a piece of uh...pizza....*shoves Franziska in his mouth*
Wait what?

So okay, guys. Come down and be shopping at Manfred Von Karma's Lectro-pawn! I have a price on broken VCR, smashed tape, or something like that. I'll be over here yelling, Manfred's Lectro-pawn! Manfred's Lectro-pawn! Or something like that.

It's our tenth issue-versary!!! Let's do a clip show!!!
Let's have a wedding!!
Let's have a baby!!!
Let's kill someone off!
Okay!

IT'S OVER!

---

Now, to make fun of ShyTenda's latest reference to STGS.
----
So, Ema and "Derek Stiles" split up. I didn't even know you two were going out.
We...uh...weren't. I wasn't cheating on Minuki.
You mean Trucy.
NO! I mean Minuki. Anyways, Ema said she was dating Derek Stiles.
Whose smiley you're possesing.
So...
Whatever. I'm gonna go mass debate.

---

now! tell the truth!
fine! i killed my husband! i hit him over the head with a metal baseball bat!
HOLY...
CRAP!!!
ms. oldbag you are NOW DIE!
WERE FREE!!!!!!

---

"THIS IS MADNESS!"

"Madness?"
"THIS. IS. TEXAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS!"

---

Where George Bush is spartacus.

Hello, my name is Phoenix Wright, and I will be replacing Elias in this funny today, because he had a temporary mental breakdown ealier this week.
----
Hey, do you have a zombie plan?
A what?
A zombie plan. You know, a plan for when zombies attack.
....Do you have any friends at all?
What? Of course I have friends. I mean...Well, I at least have a girlfriend!
Your right hand doesn't count as a girlfriend.
....WAAhHHHH! *Runs to dorm crying*
----
Instead, I will go on an angry rant for a funny.
Shouldn't we check on Elias?
Sure. Here's a security camera viewing his room.
----
*Rolled up in a ball on bed holding the Phoenix Wright plushie doll you get for pre-ordering T&T* You are my friend, right?
......
Right?
................
RIGHT, WRIGHT!?
...........
----
Wow. That's kinda sad.
May I continue?
You may.
Thank you....ahem....
You know what I hate? I hate racist people. Specifically people who hate the Jews. I'm not Jewish, but they've been through enough crap during WW2. I mean, just look at what Hitler said. "Our economy is horrible. Let's blame the Jews! My life sucks. Let's blame the Jews!" I mean, that argument kinda shows that Hitler was an idiot. Though he did get everyone to like him...Of course that was because he had evil cult powers. No seriously. It was on the History channel. Another thing that proves his idiocy is that he didn't play Risk as a little boy. You know how I know that? He attacked Russia before conquring all of Europe, along with the Americas, Africa, and Australia. Everyone knows you go for Asia last! I mean, sure, It worth seven soldiers, but you can never keep it for an entire turn to get those seven soldiers!
Another thing, why is the story by Poe called "The Cask of Amontillado" when there is no Amontillado in the story? I mean, sure, Montresor tricked Fortunato by saying he had a cask of Amontillado, but it's not even a major plot point!
Thank you.

---

And that is all I have to say about when you guys thought you killed me and threw me in Gourd Lake.
So... the Wright we killed was a robot?
Yup.
Your mom was a robot.
What?
I said, yo mamas so dumb, Ini Miny beat her at tic-tac-to!
Oh yeah? Well yo mamas so old, that her first boyfreind was George Washington!
...
Why is everyone staring at me?
Nick, that was the worst yo mama joke I've ever heard!
Same here!
Me too!
yup.
uh-huh.
That settles it, Mr. Wright, you are...

---

(in prison)
heh heh heh,so dekiller your finally here.
yes...NOW DIE!
GETM BOYS!
and *holds dekiller down*
DAMN YOU!!
now listen to my commands!
fine.
frist STOP TRYING TO KILL ME! second if you dont listen to my commands...well gant has been pretty lonley lately...
HOLY CRAP ILL STOP NOW LET ME GO!!!!
fine let him go.
*runs away like a sissy*
looks like i win.

---

It's the Bellboy show. He once was a person that was pretty much useless- to the star of his own Divorce/Cheating/Help/Talk show
----------------------------------
Thank you everyone, our first guest is Takita with a kid he claims is his. But is he using it to get his girlfreind to marry him, or is he telling the truth and his girlfreind just refuses to marry him?

It's in the bag with you, Pearls.

I was promised Candy...

Pearl. There IS no candy. You have been told that about 567, 801 times by Gant he wants to give you candy, and every time you got raped. You think you would learn from your mistakes.

and here is Minuki

*Minuki steps out and crowd boos*

*Pulls out gun* Save your Boos for Regina.
----------------------------------
...and how ****ing dare ANYONE insult Acro, after ALL HE'S BEEN THROUGH?
----------------------------------
The results came in and....Takita is the father and Minuki is the mother of Pearls!!!!

Oh well. Too bad. We got figured out Pear....

SAY WHAT?

Pearls is your Future daughter from the future sent back in time to kill the Terminators before they take over the world

*Time Vortex comes out of Nowhere and Lisa Basil comes out of it*

DESTROY PEARLS!!!!

*Grabs Takita's gun *SAY GOODNIGHT MOTHER******!!!

**** *Shot in the head by Pearls.*


PEARLY!! I DIDN'T RAISE YOU TO USE SUCH FOWEL LANGUAGE.....or did I? Did I even raise you at all? Well Takita, you better marry me. We have a child to Raise



....
.... *starts crying* Does he not love me?

(Elias) Don't worry, Minuki. I will Take care of Pearl and Marry you. I love you.

*Sniffs* Thanks Elias. Let's go home- as a family.

*Minuki walks home with Elias and Pearls*

...

*snaps out of shock* Of course, I'll Marry you, Minuki.......DAMN YOU ELIASBLOODMOON!!!

Well, that's today's episode. Tune in Next week for- The Bellboy.

---

Turnabout Girl Squad!
Cheerleader!
So and So!
What's Her Face!
The Ugly One!

Don't look now, ladies, but Camp Firstbasawassa's gonna be the bombier than ever now that they've installed...
WORKING TOILET PAPER!
I'm gonna miss the oak leaves.

I can't go this year. Lana is making me get a summer job at Shirt Folding Store.
Your sisters is teh fascist.

Bye!
We'll try to miss you!
Forbode...Chomp!

I love the mall! I wish the mall could be my ringtone.
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? GET BACK TO WORK! A KID PUKED IN DRESSING ROOM 3!
But it's my first day and I'm—
HERE'S YOUR NAMETAG, MARK! NOW GET TO MINIMUM WAGIN'!
MEET A FIST!
Ckhk. She killed my dog.
Um...'kay.
Ckhk. Da da da DA!

Alright, Franzy, since Ema's not here this year, you're bunkin' with me! I'll take snoring over night terrors any day.
Then who's sharing my bunk?
Hiya, bunkmate. Do you love me?

Uh, excuse me, Mark, I'm looking for a *COUGH!* present for my *COUGH!* wife for our *COUGH!*-iversary.
A coughiversary?! How roman-
*COUGHCOUGHCOUGH!*
...and it's a double play! Yaaaay!
That's not my wife.
Um...'kay.

Boys are an important part of life.
Canoes are an important part of life.

Alright, Franzy, pretty up! You my wingman! Now let's go get us some boys camp!
Welcome, fair maidens, to our fair village.
I think you mean: welcome, earthlings, to our fair star system.
Village!
Star system!
BEHOLDERS!
SENTIENT NEBULAE!
Ai-ai-ai-ai-ya! I thought this was Coach Conrad's Sit-Up Camp For Shirtless Boys!
Oh, I can take my shirt off....
BLINDING VOIP!
Ahh! My tan lines!

This shirt is trés cutée!
Oooh....Shoplifting?

Okay, girls, I'm Camp Counselor Shortshorts. Now before you ask "Who's this square?", listen to this: SCHA-WING! NOT! WHO LET THE DOGS OUT!
Buh-
-arf.
Now let's fellowship the pants off this place with a warbly campsong!

And the chumbly wumbly bear came a-tumblin' down....
Did he sell beans?
Lord no!
Did he sell eggs?
Lord no!
But he couldn't and he wouldn't and he shouldn't so he stapled it down!
MANIAC IN A SPEEDO'D!
I love summer camp!
Oh, the memories!

C-dogg, Naptime, don't make the same mistakes I did. You guys are young. You got your whole lives ahead of you. Me? I'm looking at life plus whenever my sister picks me up.
Dag, yo.
Hey, Rubble D! Where my smokes at?

Bunkmate, can you help give me these seventeen shots before I go into a coma?

IT'S OVER!

---

Great series from a great website. And here I thaught I was the only one what actually appritiated Strong Bad's works.
JJJJOOOOORRRRBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

---

That's only #11. I have 2 more episodes to go before I have to wait for a new one.

---

Meanwhile, following Takita's joke...

That sucked. I mean, not a single topless girl. I don't care if there's blurs, but at least have some trailer trash!
How is that even possible. If Morgan is Pearl's mom, and Minuki is unrelated to the clan, and from the future...
Do I pay you to be smart?
No. You pay me to look cute and summon my sister for some reason...Why do I always wake up in bed with you after that?
----
*Is in office, sitting at desk, singing Sekai wa Sore wo Ai to Yobunda ze (Ouendan 2's last song. Look it up on Youtube) softly as he stares at a family picture of him, Minuki, and Pearls*
*Over speaker* Mr. Bloodmoon, there is a Takita here to see you.
Really. Tell him to come in.
*Bursts through the door* You ****ing ***** Stupid ****** I'll ***** you up you ****ing ****! You stole Minuki from me!
You know, you could have asked her first and we wouldn't have to go through with any of this.
SO!?
Just saying.
Are you going to right this wrong?
Sure, and I can do it without giving up Minuki.
Minuki is mine.
I don't care. Anyways...*Starts talking like Tony Montana aka Scarface and will continue for the rest of the skit* Look, Uncle Elias is gonna take care of you. I am a man of my word, and I will find a girl that will be perfect for you.
Minuki is the perfect girl for me. *Smacked in face with golf club*
Every time you talk about my girl, I'm gonna hit you with this thing. But anyways, I'm Elias Bloodmoon. I got contacts all over town, and I will find you the perfect girl. I won't let any chazzer, maricone, or anything else get in my way.
What's a chazzer, and what's a maricone?
Not a clue. I just picked it up when I rented the game Scarface. Now, let us go.

To be continued....may I ask that you write the next part Takita?

---

Sure. I'll do it tommorrow. soon.

Edited.

---

Last edited by Wocky Kitaki on Fri Oct 19, 2007 12:17 am, edited 2 times in total.

Since we're on the topic...

Hey Wright what did you want to talk about?
Okay, here's the deal, Maya told me this awsome website on our dat- I mean normal bike ride. So I checked it out, and found that a lot of characters are like us!
What website?
Homestarrunner.com. Theres this guy, he's a total loser who thinks that he's cool, but he isn't, so he reminds me of you. His name is Strong Bad.
I don't ca-
And there's this senile old freak who is obsessive about food like the judge. He's the King of Town.
I don't give a-
And there's this old coach dude who can't afford to live in his apartment, so he sleeps in the locker room, and is a total freak who can somehow puke his pants. Thats is so Gumshoe!
WHAT THE CRAP ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!?
Dude you are like totally Strong Bad!
Is there an idiot in there?
Yeah, that is Homestar Runner. He-
Your Homestar.
WHAT!? You don't have to be so mean! *runs away crying*
That shut him up.
I might look that up during computer alone time!

---

So I'm not the only one who had that on the brain! *points to sig*



That's why I questioned it. Besides, ADD means "Me no read subtext"

Turnabout Girl Squad!
Cheerleader!
So and So!
What's Her Face!
The Ugly One!

Two, three, four...What time is it?
IT'S VALENTIMES!
-tines!
What time is it?
IT'S VALENTIMES!
-tines!
What we gonna get?
SEVERAL BOYS!
How we gonna get 'em?
uh...um...er...
Mock U.N. medals?
Wearing unflattering clothing?
Voodoo? Is it voodoo? VOODOO!!!!!!
You three are adorable. Maybe I'll come visit you at the convent or library someday.
You'll find me in the reference section!!!
Shut yer labcoated face! Here comes a boy!

Hi there, patchbeard, I betcha never get carded with a mossy chin like that.
You're blonde and you acknowledged my facial stubbery. Will you be my valentine?
Yesss! Now get outta here Peter Puberty. Mama's got bigger fish to fry.
CLONK!

Band name. Band name. Band name. Band name.
Uh, hi. I like music. And um...cloth.
Did that dude just tell you she likes cloth?
"She likes cloth" — that's a good band name.

CLONK!
I got valentime cards from every football player except one!
I got cards from every lunchlady except one!

Excuse me, Mrs. Embalmo...
BAD JUJU!!
Owww! My the fact that I was alive a second ago!

I'll notify her next of... uh... fruit cup. I'm so sorry to have to tell you this...
Stop talking to fruit! Valentimes is serious times!
-tines.
*What?*
Valen-TINES!! T-I-N—

TINES! TINES! TINES!
TINES!

As I was saying, Vamlumtime's Day is serious times. If I don't get cards from enough boys, I could lose all my Ami cred.
Ami! Ami!

It's time to resort to plan...TXT!!
TECH-NO-LOGiCAL RO-MANCE!

Hy, Clas Prez! Cn i B Yr VLNT9?
Def. U R A ttl haw-T.
U ROOL! <B >KO)->
Whattaya mean I'm less than B?

WIRELESS WIZARD!!
Texting from a few feet away? FOR SHAME!
And what's this other text mess?
That's a frontways Cupid.
Looks more like a USB dongle goblin!
Here I come!
TTYL!
I won't BRB!

Say, baby, uh...you wanna go find a remote access point with me?
FULL BARS!!!!
TECH-NO-LOGICAL RO-MANCE!
Soooo...you like cloth?

If we cannot claim her heart, at least she's in the arms of a truly worthy adversary.
Sometimes...wizards are so awesome...it hurts.

Okay, gals, let's get ready to...
Gag me with a spoon!!

IT'S OVER!

---

From the twisted mind that brought you Edgeworth: Ace Pokemon Trainer, and The Origins of HoboGodot comes a new funny series that will probably die with the rest.

Mega Wright
Why the hell am I always the main character in the majority of these funnies?
Fine then you'll be taken off the main character listing then.
WHAT!
Fine I'll comply
As I was saying, I present to you Mega Wright.
-------------------------------
Good your finally operational, I mean your operation was a success.
What do you mean, Why do I suddenly feel heavy.
no reason just upgraded you.
Why do you look older Ema, and what do you mean by 'upgraded'
You don't remember?
am I supposed to?
Its only episode 1 no need for flashbacks, just look in the mirror so we can continue this stupid plot.
I don't get this....
WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO ME! AND WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO MY RIGHT ARM?
Well after that incident with godot I had to reconstruct you....
Reconstruct?
Don't you remember? It happened a few ....
HOLD IT! I thought you said episode 1 didn't need flashbacks?
Change of plans. So anyways, Ema?
Right, so it happened a few years ago..
---------------
I'm telling you Godot there is no way you can be a fighting cyborg with lazer beams.
That is where your wrong Maruhodo, Ema has fitted my visor to become one!
Thats a lie!
Its true Mr. Wright, I have.
Isn't that Dangerous?
Not at all let me try it out...
-fires at phoenix-

---------------
So why was I out for years to now be turned into this.
beacause...
Let me guess Godot wants to take over the world right?
-cont-

---

-cont-
Not at all, Actually Godot is just one of the 8 master Robots you need to defeat before you fight.
Let me guess Edgeworth?
Nope.
Fransizka?
You wish.
Don't Tell me Payne!
Oh him? He's my assistant.
Hello...
didn't expect that...
Not Gant?
nope...
then who?
Only the most Evilest Person who can mess with us.
Not Ergheiz...
Your an idiot, Why would I write myself in my own funny[/img]
Then Who?
We don't know, but he has caputered everyone you know and turned them into fighting robots like yourself.
I think I got that down, what's his calling?
Most call him..... Hobo...
I thought Ergheiz Wasn't in this!...
..... before you interupted me, he is called Hobohodo
WHAT! no way!
Its all true....
Talk about major time paradox here...
Here is a message from him.
-Ema pops it in-
Hey everyone! Just wanting to say that if Phoenix ever wakes up he should see this. Hey buddy! -smiles- Yea wierd, I know, anyways, I kidnapped everyone you know. They are my slaves and are gonna ravish the town now. Try to stop them if you can!
-end tape-
Is it me or was that just added in? and I can barely make out a scissor shape in the foreground.
Who knows... Anyways Mega Wright, You must go and capture/defeat the master robots! Use you Arm Canon and Objections to win against them.
Why do I feel this will suck.....

------------

And so the long Adventure of Mega Wright Begins, Stay Tuned for further developments! And now a word from our sponsor.
We're sponsored?

-------
Double post was brought to you by Wii's Crappy Internet Browser.

story is brought to you by Gyakusai Cereal &

Enjoy them like its coffe

---

I gave the idea for Godot's Face Toast Crunch. I win.

GIVE ME YOUR ROYALTIES!
MYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
*ahem*
I mean, BRILLIANCE! That was hilarious!

---

Why am I always the villain?
Because you're a jerk?
...
And now for our feature presentation.

Aww, peas Frillmom. I don't need a babysitter.
I can watch baby Frilly while you go out prospecting for future ex-husbands.
Whatevs little man. You can't even take care of your own virtual pet.
Please stop feeding me!
Teh heh heh heh heh.

Ding dong. Ding dong, yo.
Hello Mrs. Edgeyafromomerson. I know I'm 3 hours early, but I wanted to...
Listen, I'll be at a place until a time. My cell phone number is some numbers. The baby needs stuff. What's poison control? Punch Frills in the gut. Good luck.
She gone!

Alright Edgey, it is WAY past your bedtime.
Listen babysit, I don't need to be babysat. I'll be in my room reorganizing my trenchcoats.
BABY SAT!
Don't let Frilly play my PSone!!!!!

Turnabout Girl Squad!
Cheerleader!
What's Her Face!
The Ugly One!

Not now, you guys. I'm babysitting.
Oh, we know how to babysit...I'll call EACH AND EVERY BOY!!
I'll eat all their food!
Just call me the queen of pay-per-view! I think Ola Toya is fighting Camptown Jr. at Caesar's tonight!
SHHH! Keep it down! The baby is studying for the SAT.

Goo goo is ga-ga. Wah wah is ga-ga. Are all goo goos wah wahs?

Dag! None of my regulars are picking up! Let's see who on my B-list!
Uh, Buttcrack Plumbing!
Hi Randy! I'm babysittin' tonight. Wanna come over and sneak in through the back window?
And this is for a how many gallon toilet, ma'am?
Bring all your hot friends... they've got two pantries!!!
EAU DE TOILETTE!
So dignified!

Wow! 2 pantries! I'll have me a diet soda I s'pose.
STOP! How many of those have you had?!?!
Uh, negative one sip.
Don't you remember health class? You'll microwave the baby!!
This is Diet Brown, not PCP.
Did somebody say Peacey P? I LOVES the Peacey P!

Crample-o stow wha clamminuh whaow. My new album drop next sursdai. Ya'll biscuitheads.
Can a sista get an autograph?
DANGLED OFF A HOTEL BALCONY'D!!
That's it?
Uh, and then DROPPED FROM SAID HOTEL BALCONY'D!!
That's better!

What kinda dirty diaper is this?! I told you to alphabetize this stuff!
BANG! BANG! BANG!
Open up! It's the police!
AHH! THE POPO! I can't do another nickel!

GARBAGE DISPOSAL,
WHAT A WAY TO GO!
GARBAGE DISPOSAL,
MEET SO AND SO!

Can I help you gentlemen?
Uh, yes, ma'am. We got a report of us wanting to watch the Ola Toya fight. You mind if we investigate?
I brought snack mix.
The Snak Mix, in Edgey's Parlor, WITH THE PRETZEL STICK!
OW! MY STYLE! (or lack thereof)

...anuddah vicious right!!!
I need to put an APB out on some microwave popcorn.
I'd like to report a very good-looking be-afro'd prospector.
Awww, shush!
You're not my real father!

Crample-O Stow Records presents "Deliberance", the new album from Peacey P! Featuring: Large Craig, featuring: The Overripe MC, featuring: Tenerence Love, featuring: Akryllix & 3rd Lung, featuring: Peacey P!
I'm a guest star on my own album, ya'll biscuitheads!

IT'S OVER!

---

Case 3-3: Alternate Ending

Blast. My brilliant plan is ruined!

You mean your brilliant plan to needlessly frame someone when your girlfriend could have just had her yakuza grandpa make it look like there were was no crime in the first place?

Shaddup! Anway, I've prepared for this! *Quick changes into his Phoenix costume.*

GADZOOKS! Two Phoenix Wrights!

I can't tell which one's which...

Umm... I'm still here behind the defense table.

Oh, thanks. I forgot about that.

Tigre dives behind the defense table.

POW! SMACK! PUCKADA PUCKADA! GENERAL MAYHEM!

Oh no! What'll we do?

Wait, I have an idea.

What th- You're not in this episode.

You really think that sort of thing matters in a funny.

I guess you have point there.

Good. Now first I'll need this-

Hey! My gun!

And now I'll do this. *points the gun at Phoenix and Tigre.*

Uh, Pearl, what are you doing?

Oh, I'm waiting for the real Mr. Nick to say "To be safe, you'll have to shoot both of us".

.....

.....

.....

.....

.....

.....

..... THAT'S THE DUMBEST PLAN I'VE EVER HEARD!

I-i-i-i was on tr-trying to he-he-hrlp. WAAAHHHH!

Uh, you might want to apologize.

Hmph. Why should I?

You. Made. Pearl. Cry. DIE YOU GONNA!

Can I go now?

END.

---