Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
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"Abraham Lincoln is like a cookie, how he brought everything together."
...
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Ready to RAWK!?
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Grade 12 Geography class. We were just getting ready to watch a movie.
Me.
= Class.
= Teacher. Alright! We're going to watch a movie! As of this point on, if anyone speaks, you will be forced to leave the classroom. If anyone's Cell Phone rings, you'll be forced to leave the classroom. There is NO exception to this rule! ANYONE who disobeys either of these rules will be forced to leave. UNDERSTAND? 
Yes, Ms. Oldbag. I have one quick question about the rules? WHAT? What is it? Just to make perfectly sure, it doesn't matter who's phone rings, or who speaks up, they'll be forced to leave, right? YES! UNDERSTAND!?
*sighs* Yes. Good. I'll be at my desk, looking over the results to yesterday's te-*phone rings*
*look around the classroom to try to find the source of the phone* (Frozen stiff) ... Ms. Oldbag? I.... Is that YOUR phone?
(snickering silently)
It... appears so. I'll just turn it o-
*slams desk in front of him* You specifically stated that ANYONE who's phone rings has to leave the classroom! WHAT? But I'm the teacher! Those rules don't apply to m- HOLD ON A SEC! You also said that there are no exceptions to that rule! You can't simply change the rules!
(Looking on shocked) GRRR......... WELL? ....... Fine.*leaves the classroom for the period*
SWEEEEET!!!!!!!One of my favorite days of my HS years...
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Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Gender: None specified
Rank: Prosecutor
Joined: Thu Nov 29, 2007 5:35 pm
Posts: 810
I was 17 when I joined this forum. During this time I participated in a thread that made light of sexual assault and event making jokes about it. I didn't think much of it at the time other than portraying a villain. I am older, looking back see how unacceptable & disgusting. I removed the comments because I do not wish to condone this behaviour. But of course fragments remain. I can only apologise for any hurt of distress caused.
https://rapecrisis.org.uk/ https://www.samaritans.org/
https://rapecrisis.org.uk/ https://www.samaritans.org/
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
DO WANT!! DO WANT VERY MUCH!!!
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Posts: 380
Wrestlemania wrote:
I was reading Scorch's, when I remembered this one:
Grade 12 Geography class. We were just getting ready to watch a movie.
Me.
= Class.
= Teacher.
Alright! We're going to watch a movie! As of this point on, if anyone speaks, you will be forced to leave the classroom. If anyone's Cell Phone rings, you'll be forced to leave the classroom. There is NO exception to this rule! ANYONE who disobeys either of these rules will be forced to leave. UNDERSTAND?
Yes, Ms. Oldbag.
I have one quick question about the rules?
WHAT? What is it?
Just to make perfectly sure, it doesn't matter who's phone rings, or who speaks up, they'll be forced to leave, right?
YES! UNDERSTAND!?
*sighs* Yes.
Good. I'll be at my desk, looking over the results to yesterday's te-
*phone rings*
*look around the classroom to try to find the source of the phone*
(Frozen stiff)
... Ms. Oldbag? I.... Is that YOUR phone?
(snickering silently)
It... appears so. I'll just turn it o-
*slams desk in front of him* You specifically stated that ANYONE who's phone rings has to leave the classroom!
WHAT? But I'm the teacher! Those rules don't apply to m-
HOLD ON A SEC! You also said that there are no exceptions to that rule! You can't simply change the rules!
(Looking on shocked)
GRRR.........
WELL?
....... Fine.
*leaves the classroom for the period*
SWEEEEET!!!!!!!
One of my favorite days of my HS years...
Grade 12 Geography class. We were just getting ready to watch a movie.
Me. = Class. = Teacher. Alright! We're going to watch a movie! As of this point on, if anyone speaks, you will be forced to leave the classroom. If anyone's Cell Phone rings, you'll be forced to leave the classroom. There is NO exception to this rule! ANYONE who disobeys either of these rules will be forced to leave. UNDERSTAND? Yes, Ms. Oldbag. I have one quick question about the rules? WHAT? What is it? Just to make perfectly sure, it doesn't matter who's phone rings, or who speaks up, they'll be forced to leave, right? YES! UNDERSTAND!? *sighs* Yes. Good. I'll be at my desk, looking over the results to yesterday's te-*phone rings*
*look around the classroom to try to find the source of the phone* (Frozen stiff) ... Ms. Oldbag? I.... Is that YOUR phone? (snickering silently) It... appears so. I'll just turn it o- *slams desk in front of him* You specifically stated that ANYONE who's phone rings has to leave the classroom! WHAT? But I'm the teacher! Those rules don't apply to m- HOLD ON A SEC! You also said that there are no exceptions to that rule! You can't simply change the rules! (Looking on shocked) GRRR......... WELL? ....... Fine.*leaves the classroom for the period*
SWEEEEET!!!!!!!One of my favorite days of my HS years...
Nice!! Although...I don't think you'd have done it with a HOLD IT! and the desk slam, it always helps.
~Made by the AMAZING Vickinator~ ~Currently infatuated with Rosalina~
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Ready to RAWK!?
Gender: Male
Location: Ontario, Canada.
Rank: Ace Attorney
Joined: Wed Oct 10, 2007 10:56 pm
Posts: 9051
And yes, the Oldbag "usage" TOTALLY fits her... she's the ONLY member of the faculty that disliked me (Seriously. I was friends with pretty much everyone... which is probably why I never suffered any consequences for that)
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Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Gender: None specified
Rank: Prosecutor
Joined: Thu Nov 29, 2007 5:35 pm
Posts: 810
"*slams desk in front of him* You specifically stated that ANYONE who's phone rings has to leave the classroom!"
Slams desk in front of HIM not her him. Like I said it could be a spelling error or maybe the teacher is a guy.
I was 17 when I joined this forum. During this time I participated in a thread that made light of sexual assault and event making jokes about it. I didn't think much of it at the time other than portraying a villain. I am older, looking back see how unacceptable & disgusting. I removed the comments because I do not wish to condone this behaviour. But of course fragments remain. I can only apologise for any hurt of distress caused.
https://rapecrisis.org.uk/ https://www.samaritans.org/
https://rapecrisis.org.uk/ https://www.samaritans.org/
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Ready to RAWK!?
Gender: Male
Location: Ontario, Canada.
Rank: Ace Attorney
Joined: Wed Oct 10, 2007 10:56 pm
Posts: 9051
Posted by Request.
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Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
I'm Lauren Order, and I'm fine!
Gender: None specified
Location: USA
Rank: Medium-in-training
Joined: Tue Oct 09, 2007 1:01 am
Posts: 361
= teacher
= student Now, class, what are some pastimes that you like to do? I can't think of any! Not ANY hobbies? Even I can think of a few: stamp collecting, going shopping... But I don't do any of those! (still talking through student's statement)... even robbing your local convenience store! Are you serious? Whoops, did I say that out loud? I must be thinking of my childhood!
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Phff, You call this a Zombie apocalypse?
Gender: Male
Location: Ontario
Rank: Ace Attorney
Joined: Wed Sep 19, 2007 10:25 pm
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Teacher: JACK, PUT THAT AWAY
"Jack" *at very back of class*: I was only playing with it
Gyakuten Phoenix wrote:
Yeah, well maybe if I wasn't so much better than everyone else, I wouldn't have to talk about it so much.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
:Ace Author has a nice ring to it...
Gender: Male
Location: Not Here!
Rank: Decisive Witness
Joined: Wed Jan 09, 2008 8:58 pm
Posts: 207
= Teacher (This one is so disorginized, she deserves Adrian!)
= Class =Me
= Guy : Yeah, my vocabulary word is gluttony.... : Good! Speaking of gluttony, it is one of the seven deadly sins. Bet you can't name them all! : (Mutter) (mutter) ...Lust? : Oh, you all like lust. That's my favorite too! : Lust, Gluttony, Envy, Greed, Wrath, Pride, and Sloth! : How did you know that?! Your Jewish, to boot! : Because.............. : I READ FULL METAL ALCHIMEST MANGA! : CLUELESS! : SHOCKED! : SHOCKED!
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Ready to RAWK!?
Gender: Male
Location: Ontario, Canada.
Rank: Ace Attorney
Joined: Wed Oct 10, 2007 10:56 pm
Posts: 9051
Teacher. Me. 
Class. Alright, everyone, we're going to watch a movie while I am at the back looking over the results from the test done by the class before yours. No one speak up, please. Yes, Mr. Yogi.(He turns on the video and goes to the back of the room)
The movie is relatively boring and I even had to take some of my bottled water and toss it on my face so I stayed awake!
(20 mins pass)
*SNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE*
Crud, we're doomed. *everyone looks behind them, to the source of the snoring* *SNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE*........
AHHHHH HA HA HA HA!!!!That's how you KNOW a movie is boring!!!
Posted by Request.
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Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Phff, You call this a Zombie apocalypse?
Gender: Male
Location: Ontario
Rank: Ace Attorney
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Posts: 3631
Gyakuten Phoenix wrote:
Yeah, well maybe if I wasn't so much better than everyone else, I wouldn't have to talk about it so much.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
:Ace Author has a nice ring to it...
Gender: Male
Location: Not Here!
Rank: Decisive Witness
Joined: Wed Jan 09, 2008 8:58 pm
Posts: 207
During a CT meeting
= Group Leader
= Group Leader's mom. : Group. : Me
= My Mom : Ok we have a good plan here. : Psst! Group Leader! Here! (Tosses us a bag of Milky Ways!) : Thanks, ma'am : O_O WHAT.... HAVE.... YOU... DONE! WHY DO YOU HATE ME!? : Well you can have some too! : That's not what I meant! YOU GAVE THEM SUGAR!2 Minutes later:
: Chaos! : (To me) So I will make a documentary and call it High on Milky Ways. What do you think? : Sounds productive. : We're all doomed... dooomed.... doooomed........dooooooooooomed! ( Bell rings) Go now!
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
DO WANT!! DO WANT VERY MUCH!!!
Gender: Female
Location: In a city. In a county. In England. Damn rain
Rank: Medium-in-training
Joined: Mon Dec 24, 2007 5:32 pm
Posts: 380
Me My friend Teacher.During Art
Urggg... This drawing's crap.... C'mon! It 's not that bad! Look at mine! Yeah. That's bad. What's bad? My drawing. Nonsense....
... Sir? You're right. That really is shit, isn't it?
Sir, you're suppposed to support people in Art, no matter how crap the drawing is!! Well, I can't if it's that crap, can I? I mean look at it! It looks like a cow's just shat on it!Yeah....
~Made by the AMAZING Vickinator~ ~Currently infatuated with Rosalina~
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
I BELONG!
Gender: Female
Rank: Decisive Witness
Joined: Thu Jun 07, 2007 3:04 pm
Posts: 164
Random Class member: So I hear teachers can get in trouble for saying that there is no Santa.
Random #2: Really wow huh thats kinda weird
*idea forms in my head*
Me: Hey Mrs.Brandt is there a Santa Claus?
Teacher: *glairing look* No Cara...
Me: *sniffle* You dream crusher!
I CATCH YOUR POKEMON!
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Phff, You call this a Zombie apocalypse?
Gender: Male
Location: Ontario
Rank: Ace Attorney
Joined: Wed Sep 19, 2007 10:25 pm
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Gyakuten Phoenix wrote:
Yeah, well maybe if I wasn't so much better than everyone else, I wouldn't have to talk about it so much.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Proud PxM shipper.
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Fortune teller: Next.
Kid: Tell me my future! NOW!
Teacher: Jail.
Click sig to go to my sig thread. If you would like one, you may request. Devoted Phoenix and Maya shipper. Also a Diego and Mia shipper.My fanfic thread. Law, Lust, and Coffee currently ongoing (Miego).
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Ready to RAWK!?
Gender: Male
Location: Ontario, Canada.
Rank: Ace Attorney
Joined: Wed Oct 10, 2007 10:56 pm
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Was teaching in the same department as his mother, who was also teaching.
= Me.
= Our teacher. = his mother. Any problem, sir?
Not really, although I am having a little bit of trouble with these tests from the previous class. Hmm... I know! ? I'll be right back! I'll go ask Mrs. Oldbag.
W-WAIT! DON- *leaves the classroom via the Science Teacher's lobby (I had access everywhere due to my positive image around the school)*opens the door to the room next door*
Mrs. Oldbag? Hmm? What is it? Sorry to bother you, since you have a class going on, but your son would like some help with some tests. Oh! One moment!*rushes to the room he's in*
(This is going to be great...) Is there a problem here? N-No, mom! I'm alright, I'm just marking some tests! Oh! Let me help you with those! M-MOM! I'M HELPING! (...Never backtalk your mother)That was just one heck of a great time... and yes, HE was also teaching a class as well.
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Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
:Ace Author has a nice ring to it...
Gender: Male
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This can't compare to Wrestle's quote, but...
A few years back, I had to hang around my mom's college english class, I guess 2 years ago, as I was 13. She was teaching Death of a Salesman, and explaining some of the symbolism of the names.
(Her): Notice how Willy Lowman was Willy and not William, even as an adult. This shows he was still immature, and had a child's nickname. What is another good symbolic name? (Class): *silence* (Me): Lowman. : ? : Willy Lowman. Low-man. LOW MAN. Yeah... : You do realize I've been teaching this 10 years, you've seen it twice, and I never figured that out?
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Gender: Female
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-The sub that day, Mr. Roy. -Group.
-Me.Spoiler: Long story.
He had originally started off the class by talking about how he was trying to break up with someone last night but failed. Interesting man, that Mr. Roy...
"Last daughter of your royal house/ Go I, his prisoner, because I honoured/ Those things to which honour truly belongs." Antigone, Antigone.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
No reason to be excited
Gender: Male
Location: Maryland
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Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Ready to RAWK!?
Gender: Male
Location: Ontario, Canada.
Rank: Ace Attorney
Joined: Wed Oct 10, 2007 10:56 pm
Posts: 9051
Posted by Request.
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Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Phff, You call this a Zombie apocalypse?
Gender: Male
Location: Ontario
Rank: Ace Attorney
Joined: Wed Sep 19, 2007 10:25 pm
Posts: 3631
Gyakuten Phoenix wrote:
Yeah, well maybe if I wasn't so much better than everyone else, I wouldn't have to talk about it so much.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Ready to RAWK!?
Gender: Male
Location: Ontario, Canada.
Rank: Ace Attorney
Joined: Wed Oct 10, 2007 10:56 pm
Posts: 9051
Posted by Request.
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Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Phff, You call this a Zombie apocalypse?
Gender: Male
Location: Ontario
Rank: Ace Attorney
Joined: Wed Sep 19, 2007 10:25 pm
Posts: 3631
Wrestlemania wrote:
And in my more recent one?
Actually, you are one of the few people who can be consistent funny >>
Gyakuten Phoenix wrote:
Yeah, well maybe if I wasn't so much better than everyone else, I wouldn't have to talk about it so much.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
The Law is just a Game...
Gender: Male
Location: Manhattan, New York
Rank: Ace Attorney
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Me
Judge James Noble (He's from Texas)
This crazy women who had been stalking her husband. Royal Oakes, Defense Attorney I do trust the Prosecution is seeking remand. DON'T YOU JUDGE ME! *sighs* Hello, Your Honor, I'm Royal Oakes, I'm handling this for arraignment only. Goody, now, let's talk bail. The prosecution seeks remand or high bail. Why? Your client broke into her ex husbands car and waited 7 hours to surprise him as he drove to work. That's a first. THE JUDGE IS A PIG!! Hey, Delta Dawn, be quiet! Can I leave now? Sure, the defedant is remanded. That should keep her away from my car.
sig by RhiaMy Trial Record, 14-0. I support Klavi & Krissi.
Where there is a law, I'll enforce it!
Where there is a crime, I'll prosecute it!
Where there is a victim, I'll fight for them!
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
PCHOOO
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Rank: Ace Attorney
Joined: Sun Nov 25, 2007 3:51 pm
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Emily Bronte (that is, the text of the book)
My Teacher Me "Mr. Heathcliff?" I said. A nod was the answer.
"Mr. Lockwood, your new tenant, sir. I do myself the honour ... (blah blah blah, this part isn't important) .. I have not inconvenienced you by my perserverance in soliciting the occupation of Thurcross Grange;
(Interrupting) So do we all understand that? Did you get that Heathcliff is Lockwood's landlord? Do we understand? Lockwood is Heathcliff's tenant. (Softly, to my friend) Oh! So that's what that meant! I didn't realize what the phrase "your new tenant" signified! It's all clear now! Thanks Mr. Grey!... Yeah. My teacher's an idiot.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
The Law is just a Game...
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Judge Conrad Hand. I have to check a text message in my chambers. Bailiff, if the defedant moves, shoot him.
sig by RhiaMy Trial Record, 14-0. I support Klavi & Krissi.
Where there is a law, I'll enforce it!
Where there is a crime, I'll prosecute it!
Where there is a victim, I'll fight for them!
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Phff, You call this a Zombie apocalypse?
Gender: Male
Location: Ontario
Rank: Ace Attorney
Joined: Wed Sep 19, 2007 10:25 pm
Posts: 3631
Gyakuten Phoenix wrote:
Yeah, well maybe if I wasn't so much better than everyone else, I wouldn't have to talk about it so much.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Proud PxM shipper.
Gender: Female
Location: A dark scary place with enchanted creatures.
Rank: Ace Attorney
Joined: Wed Sep 05, 2007 2:03 am
Posts: 1516
We had a chaotic class.
Teacher: This class is like a trip to Hell.
Click sig to go to my sig thread. If you would like one, you may request. Devoted Phoenix and Maya shipper. Also a Diego and Mia shipper.My fanfic thread. Law, Lust, and Coffee currently ongoing (Miego).
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Ready to RAWK!?
Gender: Male
Location: Ontario, Canada.
Rank: Ace Attorney
Joined: Wed Oct 10, 2007 10:56 pm
Posts: 9051
This occured a while ago, when I had just gotten T&T. I was intrigued by Luke Atmey, so I decided to have him acted out in a drama class scene. My friend would be playing him, I'd be playing Phoenix.
The teacher appeared to be very interested in his textbook, at the front of the class...
Me.
Friend. Teacher. Alright, lets try this scene again. Fine. Where do you want me to start? You seem to be having trouble with this one word here. *points to transcript* Alright, I'll try this again. Alright... whenever you're ready. VERY! No, dammit! Try again! SVERRY! DAMMIT, MAN! KE-*teacher slams his desk and points*
IT'S ZVARRI! ZVARRI! SAY IT WITH ME! ZVARRI!!!!!!!
HUH?
*chokes on water* H-How the hell would you know that?*teacher moves his book away*
I borrowed this from my son! *hold up a Nintendo DS Lite, open, and I can see Phoenix at the defense bench*Turns out that he was actually playing through all the PW cases one by one, and was in the middle of the third case of T&T...
Amazing to see my own Drama Teacher converted into a fan, and one of the funniest moments ever...
And btw? My teacher helped me out with the scene after I pretty much begged him to... but only for me practicing my own lines.
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Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
AKA Dr. Bokchoy
Gender: Male
Location: Ontario, Canada
Rank: Ace Attorney
Joined: Thu May 17, 2007 12:44 pm
Posts: 3035
Teach -
So, is this your last exam or...? No, I still have my history exam in the next block. Ah, history. Well, just remember: George Washington did everything. Oh, wait... Wrong history XD Well good luck!It was funny because he's not even American lol
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Proud PxM shipper.
Gender: Female
Location: A dark scary place with enchanted creatures.
Rank: Ace Attorney
Joined: Wed Sep 05, 2007 2:03 am
Posts: 1516
Kid: OOOHHHH! GOLD THREAD! I LOVE GOLD!!!
Old substitute: Will, grow up.
Click sig to go to my sig thread. If you would like one, you may request. Devoted Phoenix and Maya shipper. Also a Diego and Mia shipper.My fanfic thread. Law, Lust, and Coffee currently ongoing (Miego).
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Slammin' Flower Child
Gender: Female
Location: Hiding under your bed with that monster you forgot about.
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"...What the hell?"
In his Polish accent, of course.
Someone in the class asks the same teacher a question about scanners in Java [not the kind of scanner you use for putting pictures into the computer] and he goes, "What the hell is a scanner? What is this bullsh*t?" But he has a funkeh accent so bullsh*t sounded like busheet or something.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
キラキラ ♥
Gender: Female
Rank: Medium-in-training
Joined: Fri Jan 25, 2008 3:19 am
Posts: 515
"I don't want to play with little boys anymore"
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
The Law is just a Game...
Gender: Male
Location: Manhattan, New York
Rank: Ace Attorney
Joined: Sun Dec 30, 2007 2:20 am
Posts: 6053
Balrog wrote:
^ XDDDDDDDDD
Judge Hand is like M. Bison.
Attorneys call him "Iron Hand". He's not known for his patience. But, for some reason, he really likes me. Probably because I always act very
in his Courtroom.
sig by RhiaMy Trial Record, 14-0. I support Klavi & Krissi.
Where there is a law, I'll enforce it!
Where there is a crime, I'll prosecute it!
Where there is a victim, I'll fight for them!
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Gender: None specified
Rank: Suspect
Joined: Tue Feb 27, 2007 7:31 pm
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Me:
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Phff, You call this a Zombie apocalypse?
Gender: Male
Location: Ontario
Rank: Ace Attorney
Joined: Wed Sep 19, 2007 10:25 pm
Posts: 3631
Gyakuten Phoenix wrote:
Yeah, well maybe if I wasn't so much better than everyone else, I wouldn't have to talk about it so much.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Ready to RAWK!?
Gender: Male
Location: Ontario, Canada.
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Me. Class. Teacher (I'm mean, I know). (Talking Loudly and disorganized) ENOUGH! (quiets down to hear her) Class, you are making me dangerously close to saying...*starts writing on the board*
*Writes "Shut Up!" on the board*
*gasps* THAT'S IT???I had to leave the classroom afterwards. It's just gotten funnier over the years of me remembering it.
Posted by Request.
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Re: Funny things your teacher has said?
Gender: None specified
Rank: Prosecutor
Joined: Thu Nov 29, 2007 5:35 pm
Posts: 810
Teacher student Rest of the class. *Comes late in with chips and kebab * Oh so you finally decided to come. *sees take away boxes* What’s that you got there? My lunchLet me see *open the box sees food*
Oh I see *takes chips and eats it* you know we have to check as part of regulation that we don't bring unhealthy and badly cooked food *Laughs*
I was 17 when I joined this forum. During this time I participated in a thread that made light of sexual assault and event making jokes about it. I didn't think much of it at the time other than portraying a villain. I am older, looking back see how unacceptable & disgusting. I removed the comments because I do not wish to condone this behaviour. But of course fragments remain. I can only apologise for any hurt of distress caused.
https://rapecrisis.org.uk/ https://www.samaritans.org/
https://rapecrisis.org.uk/ https://www.samaritans.org/
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