...
because Klavi ROCKS. In every possible meaning of that statement. See, its only perverted if you WANT it to be.

I should be sleeping. I swear, one of these days, I'm gonna hear mother saying things like 'You should go to bed and be thankful you'll actually sleep, unlike the Gavins next door.'
It's relevant to the 'EATYOURFOODOTHERPPLZRSTAAARVING' idea.

8D

---

I....don't want this thread to die, either. So, a contribution.



I was walking into Le Fancy-Ass Salon (I..ah....bleached my hair to cosplay Klavier...I'm a loser, I know) so the people within could "fix" my hair.
(It is now this godawful dirty-blonde color that I loathe....thanks a lot, Mother.)
Now, there's a guy in front of me. I'm not really paying attention to him.
He suddenly opens the door for me and holds it. I look up and go, "Oh, tha-aaaanksss......*Stare*."
I swear, he could have been a young!Klavier clone.
I nearly tackled him.

---

Always SECOND... Hmph.

---

Yay!! My sweet Klavier thread!!

---

My apologizes for not being able to think up a MGS script in the Kristoph thread. So instead I'll post this.

*Cracks knuckles*

I hate this job.

Why? I think it rocks.

How can constantly carrying a plunger around with you, fixing up pipes and hanging around these sewers 'rock'?

???: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!

Oh great, what was that?

It sounds like a girl screaming, we must help her! It sounds like it came from this strange, green pipe. C'mon! *Jumps in*

*Sigh* I should have stayed being a carpenter, and rescue girls from big, hairy apes.... *Jumps in*

......

......Dude..... the houses are mushrooms and the clouds and hills have eyes! Am I high?

Pinch me, I must be dreaming...

Oh my goodness, thank goodness you're here!

Why are you wearing a mushroom cap on your head?

Eeeeeeekkkkkkkk!!! Somebody save me!

Gawh ha ha ha ha ha! I am the Evil Humanoid Turtle King! Diego! Fear me as I breath fire and turn the Toad People into useless objects! *Flies away with Adrian*

Gawh ha ha ha ha!!!

*Screams as she is taken away*

Bro, we are not high nor we are dreaming.

We are high while dreaming....

Please strange men in overalls and caps, please save Princess Adrian Toadstool from the Evil Humanoid Turtle King!

Why should we? Klavier, let's just go.

If you rescue the Princess, she will give you a soft kiss on the nose. What an honor!

No thanks.

And she'll bake you a cake.

Deal. C'mon Kristoph, let's go rescue her. Everyone loves cake!

Fine. But you owe me for this.

************

Okay, so we're traveling to the castle where this evil King freak and the Princess supposedly are. Where are we?

The sign says World 1-1.

Neat. Hey, what are those brown things?

Goomba! Ba!

It's hideous Krissi, do something about it!

Can't we just ignore the creep instead? C'mon, I want to get this mission over with. Let's just run and jump the rest of the way.

Do-do-do-dodo. DO. Do-do.

*Runs and does a long jump. But lands right next to the Goomba and bumps into him*

AW SHIT THAT HURT SO F***ING MUCH!!!! *Falls off the world*

Kristoph? Kristoph!! Krrrrrrrisssssssstooooopphhhhhhhhh!!!!

*Reappears* ........

Kristoph, you're alive! What happened?!

*Pops out of nowhere* Kristoph died. But thanks to a 1-Up Mushroom, he was revived and can still continue the quest.

Where the hell did you come from?

You had five 1-Up Mushrooms, now you have four. If you have no more, than it's game over. Bye bye! *Disappears*

This world is confusing....

Kristoph, it's coming our way!!

Goomba! Ba ba ba!

No way am I touching that, it killed me.

....Eeeeekkk!! *Jumps up franticly, and lands on the Goomba... killing it instantly*

...Wow, you killed it.

I did?

Yeah. Now let's just go already.

Wait, what are those floating blocks? They have ? marks on them.

They're probably nothing. Let's go, Klavier.

I wonder.... *Punches block and receives a coin* Kristoph, it gave me a coin! :D

Yeah, a single useless coin.

What does this one have? *Punches it, which releases a red mushroom*

Hey Kristoph, is this one of those 1-Up mushrooms that Maya T. told us about?

I don't know and I don't care. Can we go already?

*Appears!* Hiya!

Snap! Don't scare me like that!

That is a Super Mushroom. 1-Up Mushrooms are rarer and green. If you eat a Super Mushroom, you grow in size!

What kind of folly is this?

*Eats the Super Mushroom*

Klavier! That could have been poisonous!

*Grows in size* Woah, I'm taller than all of you!

....I can't believe my eyes..

Yay! *Gets tackled by a flying turtle* OW!!! *Shrinks*

Klavier, are you alright?!

I'm okay now.... but I didn't die?

Normally you would have died from a hit like that. But if you eat a Super Mushroom, you become more stronger and faster. If you are hit, you shrink and revert back to normal instead of dying.

These Mushrooms and blocks will aid you in your mission to rescue the Princess. Remember, jumping will be your main asset. Bye bye for now! *Disappears*

This world is getting stranger by the minute..

At least we know more about it. Let's go Kristoph, we still need to advance forward!

I'm coming.....

*Later*

Woah... that is one giant flag pole....

What are we supposed to do now?

*Disappears* Hi!

Ahh! *Jumps into Klavier's arms*

This is a flag pole, it is a landmark that shows that you have reached the end of a stage. The flag also represents that Diego, King of Humanoid Turtles, has taken control of this area. If you pull the flag down, then us Toads will reclaim this area.

Fine. *Pulls flag down*

Do do do dooo. Do do do dooo. Do do do dooo dooooooo.

*********

*Much later*

Thank god! The castle! Now we can finally rescue that bitch the princess!

*Pops up* I must warn you, traps and even the feared Diego himself are in this castle. When you meet up with the evil King, you must defeat him to advance forward.

How do we do that?

*Shrugs* Beats me. Bye! *Disappears*

Some help she turned out to be.

Never mind her. Let's go in already!

.....

Careful Kristoph, the pits are deeper! Oh no, balls of fire jumping out of the lava!!

Who would put lava in their own castle anyway? Seriously....

Kristoph, are we getting closer to Diego? I see fire balls being shot at us! Dodge 'em! Ahhhhhhh!!!

I am not amused.

Gawh ha ha ha ha ha!!

Yelp! D-D-Diego!!

Foolish fools, you dare attempt to save the day?! Never!!! I shall burn you alive with my fire balls!

*Yawn*

And don't you even think about jumping over me!

Sounds like an invite.

*Both jump over the slow, turtle shelled Diego no sweat*

Kristoph... we were on a bridge suspended over a pool of lava!

Look, there's an ax.... *Chops away the bridge*

Aaaaarrrrrgggghhhh! *Falls into the lava* I will reeetuuuuuuuurrrrrrnnnnnnn!!!

Great. The princess should be beyond this point.

I can't wait to meet her.

....

Who the hell are you?!

I am one of the seven Mushroom Retainers who watch over the princess. We were also kidnapped.

Yeah, yeah. But where is the princess?

Thank you Kristoph and Klavier. But our princess is in another castle!

.......

Oh you have got to be kidding me....

Nope, she really is in another castle.

Ugh, fine. Where is this stupid castle?

In World 2-4 of course. This is World 1-4, so your next destination will be the next world, World 2-1.

But be careful, Diego awaits you in World 2-4's castle.

What? But I thought we killed him!

Diego is completely immune to lava. He's merely stunned for now.

Oh for f***'s sake.....

Klavier, let's go.....

Right behind you, Bro.

*********

*Punches block* ....Huh, what's this?

It's.... a flower, it feels very hot to the touch...

*Appears* That is a Fire Flower. It allows you to shoot fire balls out of your hands.

After what I have seen, what you say is probably the truth. *Picks up fire flower*

*Red shirt turns into white, and blue overalls turn red* Wow....

Kristoph, try the fire balls!

*Shoots fire balls which kill some nearby enemy turtles* Woah...... this transformation is awesome.... *Fires some more*

Yow! *Jumps and bonks head on something invisible, which turns visible* Oowwwww.....

Congrats, you found a secret block.

There are invisible blocks? Wow.... hey, it dropped something... oohhh, it sparkles...

That is a Starman, it can make you temporarily invincible to everything.

Really? Awesome! *Grabs it and notices that his body now sparkles* Yay, I'm a Rock Star!

Kristoph is not amused by that pun.

*Runs into hoards of enemies and kills them by simply bumping into them* Wheeeeeeeee!!!

Hmph.... I wish I had a Starman too....

Sorry. Starman are even more rarer than 1-Up Mushrooms. *Disappears*

....Damn.

*********

Will Kristoph and Klavier rescue the Princess? Will Diego rule the Mushroom Kingdom? Will they actually find the princess in the next castle? Why am I asking you these questions? All of these should be answered in part two, because SJB is too tired to continue from here.

---

So I disappear for a few months (Metal Gear ate my soul ), and when I try to come back the forum's died on me. Figures. Ah well, I'm back! Anyone miss me? (Or notice I was gone? Whatever) So, anything interesting happen while I was gone? (Don't bother answering that...) So yeah. I'm back. Go me.

By the way, Tails, your av/sig combo scares me. Just thought you should know.

---

I don't believe we have met before! But nonetheless, welcome back! (Metal Gear has that ability..even though I've only played 2 and 3)


Let's move to another nintendo game: Zelda. More specifically, twilight princess.

shall be Link

midna

Hmm..I look quite stylish in this. *slash* *slash* *slash* *turns into a wolf*
What the hell?!

*lands on Kristoph's back* Hello there bruder!

Klavier? What the hell are you wearing on your head? And why are you so tiny and imp-like?

I'm going to be your guide throughout Hyrule and the Twilight Realm, now, I want you to collect 3 pieces of whatever so I can defeat the dark lord of the Twilight Realm Gant.

Yeah, whatever, but why am I a wolf?

You're the chosen one, or something like that. But enough of that! Giddyup! *bounces up and down on Kristoph*

Oh and by the way..

Yes?

LOOK WHAT I CAN DO! *drill hair becomes a hand and uses it to grab Kristoph's ass*

...I'll deal with you later.

AHHHHH!

EEEK!

HUUURGH

UWAAAAH!

Do people really fear wolves this much?

Well, lookit yourself! You're downright scary! If you would stop making that face, maybe people would approach you.

Yeah, whatever.

Hello wolf! I haven't seen you around these parts before. You smell like that man in green that used to live in this village.

Do I give off such a recognizable odor?

Forget it, let's go! *makes a portal and teleports to elsewhere*


Huurghh..I don't know what to say.

---

I'll admit, Klavier is made of sure sex. Seriously, he's probably the most gorgeous man ever from the Phoenix Wright/Apollo Justice series.

Except Edgeworth, of course... *cough*

He wasn't a very... vast character. He didn't make any depth, really. I mean he's funny, smart, a rockstar and he wants only the truth? He's too perfect and he needs a flaw that ISN'T cockiness or being a perfectionist.

Still, he is pretty awesome though.

It lives!

The Klavier thread lives!

*Weeps tears of joy*


....alright, enough of that. Back to wanton oglery!

---

Perfection Phase.

---

glad to see that this thread is still alive.. ^^

@Wrestlemania: tan face, pale hands.. ^^; surprisingly that suit fits him nicely.. XD

---

I consider the suit to be cutting off the circulation of blood to his hands.

---

yes he is awesome. super awesome.

---

See, this just proves that Klavier can look hot in ANYTHING.

Even Von Karma clothes.

---

You asked for that one, ese...

---

Bwahahah! And he STILL looks sexy!

---

... I still have Sal left to edit, so... Heh...

---

Uhh...

Maybe not everything

---

Eh heh...

---

You should be ashamed...crushing a fangirl's dreams like that

---

(Horrible Russian Accent) Hah! I Crush da souls of da fangirls tree times a day, und Eat the souls of Babies eight times on the Wednesdays!

... Yeah I got nothin'.

---

Lokos more like a german accent to me

---

Well, aside from the occasional "Dah" and "Kaput", there's a not a whole lot of Russian that seems to be Mainstream, it seems...

Unless I made a Team Fortress 2 Reference and said "I am Heavy Lawyers Guy" or something...

"WHO TOUCHED MY BADGE!?"

Speaking of, does anyone think Klavier plays MMORPGS, or FPS's?

---

He probably doesn't have time for playing anything, what with all the Prosecutor/Rock God-ness.

---

I missed this thread *deep in thought*

---

If you think the Grossberg one is bad, look at this one:
Do not look if you don't want to be scarred.


I--- oh God.

... I made "Officer Gnasty"! THOSE PICS HAVE NO EFFECT ON ME! HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAA!!!

Honestly though, it'd be worse if they were, at LEAST, somewhat tanned...

---

I...uh...I just...

---

Mine kind've resembled "Kristoph As _________"... When I see the other one, it looks more like "Kristoph Fan Cosplaying"...

---

*blink*

Ja, that is worse than that waitress one I saw of me, some time back.

---

How many cakes had you eaten, Herr Luftballoon?

More Herr Jokes, I see Herr Pervert.

It seems you have no other form of wit, ja?

---

*snicker*

Much as I love you, Klavi, you have to admit that's funny.

And I do love you.

Lots and lots.

I LOVE YOU KLAVIER!!

---

lmao I remember seeing that somewhere else.

WHY DID YOU TURN INTO A BIG BLOB OF FAT KLAVIER!?!?!1

And dammit, don't tell me Manella and Klavier are going at it again DX

Why is that a bad thing, Herr Durp?

---

It is not a bad thing, Frau Klavier, but Durp is a guy who would stare evil in the eye and say "DUUUUUUUUUUUUURP", so he doesn't like arguements.

Wtf indeed, Herr Pervert.

Frau Klavier?!

---

That's the joke, Frau Whore.

...I thought we had gathered that the 'Watress' was a drawing, ja?

---

A waitress drawing of Klavi?! Where?!

*shot*

---