The Story of Wendy Oldbag ~ Profilic Performer Chapter 1!

Sat May 30, 2009 8:38 pm

Capybara

Chief Oldbagger

Gender: None specified

Location: There.

Rank: Prosecutor

Joined: Tue May 26, 2009 7:52 pm

Posts: 662

Title: The Story of Wendy Oldbag
Author: Capybara
Rating: General
Genre: Comedy
Status: Ongoing
Pairing: Possible mild WendyxKudo
Summary: Oldbag writes an award winning novel, all about Wanda and her love for the handsome rogue Giles. But in the end, will she regret making it?

Hello guys! I decided to vent out my anger by writing Oldbag fan fiction, just for laughs. But what started off as Oldbag harassing a squirrell turned into a proper story. And I've got the first chapter to prove it!

Wendy Oldbag: Amazing Author

Spoiler: Chapter 1

Oldbag gritted her teeth in frustration. Dumping the doughnut she was eating on the side, she sighed again. Swinging around on her chair, she waited at the security desk of the small hotel. She had only been on shift for two hours, but already she was bored out of her mind. The manager had taken away her ray gun due to customer complaints, her precious Edgey-poo had threatened to force a restraining order on her, and Kudo had beat her at chess yesterday. Annoyed, she pulled out a pen and started to doodle on the back of an official form of some sort. Edgey-poo was frolicking through a field of flowers topless, beautiful Oldbag skipping beside him, with big grins on their faces. As Oldbag started to sketch a heart, she heard someone walk through the door and approach the desk.
“Excuse me…” said the bellboy. Wendy ignored him, lost in the blissful fantasy as Miles approached her, lips wide and- “Hello?”
“What is it?” she cried angrily. The bellboy jumped in shock.
“I just wanted to get the keys to the laundry room.” he stated. Oldbag glared at him.
“Can’t you see I’m extremely busy, whippersnapper?” she yelled, pulling up a doodle of her and Edgey-poo…
“… What’s that supposed to be?” he asked, and Oldbag screamed in anguish. She struck the underside of his tray, so that all the ornate teacups came crashing to the floor. The bellboy stepped back, slipped on the tea that splattered the floor and landed on several pointy pieces of the broken teapot…

“This is unacceptable Wendy!” cried Kane Bullard, shaking his head. “We’re getting sued for assault, and all because you didn’t want to stop doodling porn!”
“It’s not like that! That’s my Edgey-poo, I should have you know! The one true love of my life…” Oldbag sighed. Kane shook his head.
“Don’t you have a husband?” he asked.
“… He died. Mysteriously.” Oldbag told him.
“Look, until you get over this fixation of this strange young man, I can’t allow you to work!” Kane boomed.
“It’s not a fixation! It’s a beautiful love, shared between two people!” Oldbag said, drifting off into fantasy.
“No, it’s a pathetic crush held by some lonely old spinster!” he yelled, and pushed Oldbag out of the office, the crumpled drawing held in her hands. Wendy spent the next ten minutes banging on the door and trying to get in, but after a while she gave up and headed home.

Hunched over the drawing, Oldbag sighed. She had been fired from her job, and even worse her slimy boss had called her love for Miles pathetic. Well, she’ll show him! She’ll show the world their relationship is perfect, and love knows no boundaries! Maybe she should write a novel… Tapping her chin thoughtfully with the same pen as before, she wrote two names under the picture of her and Edgeworth. Wanda and Giles. Two star crossed lovers, destined to meet under a star! Yes! This would be the best romance novel of all time! With a small smile on her face, Oldbag scrawled out a title. Wanda and the Amazing Lover Boy; by Wendy Oldbag.

Spoiler: Chapter 2

“Kah! What are you writing down?” Victor Kudo asked. Oldbag pulled the notepad away.
“It’s none of your business, big nose!” she told him, and turned away. Kudo frowned and tried to look at the notebook, as Wendy hunched over it more to block it from view. Victor scowled at her.
“Let me see it, you old goat!” he cried, reaching over her shoulder for the book.
“It’s private!” she told him, smacking the approaching hand. Victor fumed.
“I want to see it!” he screamed, and grabbed the notebook. Wendy tried to get it back from the old man’s hands, but eventually it slipped from her fingers and Kudo fell onto the floor.
“Give it back!” she screamed, as Kudo began to read.
“Oh Wanda, my love for you is so deep!” Giles cried, his eyes swelling with tears. His sexy abs and brilliant voice echoed through out the valley. Wanda heard the cry, and watched as Giles gallantly rode down the hill on his brilliant white horse, neighing gently.
Kudo burst into a laughing fit, as Oldbag seized back the story.
“What’s so funny?” she yelled. Kudo couldn’t breathe as he rolled around in the ground, Oldbag scowling at him. Finally he regained his composure.
“That was the worst thing I’ve ever read. Where’s the antagonist?” he asked.
“The what-gonist?” Oldbag cried. Kudo gave another laugh.
“The bad guy! There’s no conflict, just your precious Giles riding on a white horse towards you!” he laughed again. Wendy scowled.
“Fine then! There’s going to be a bad guy in my story, and it will get published and become a national success!” she yelled, as Victor walked away wiping tears of laughter from his eyes. Oldbag crossed out the old paragraph, and began again.
Vermin Kodu was a fowl old man, who was determined to keep the two lovers apart. Along with the evil Shane Bluebard, they knew their mission was to make sure that no matter how pure their love was, they would spoil it!

Three months later, Wendy got the letter back from the publishers.
Dear Ms Oldbag,
That was one of the most romantic books I have ever read! All the characters were perfect, the writing was brilliant, and the setting… We want to publish “Wanda and the Amazing Lover Boy” as soon as possible!
“Hah! Now I’ll show the word that Wendy Oldbag is a superstar writer!” she smiled, laughing evilly.

Somewhere across town, Miles Edgeworth dropped a glass.
“Are you alright Mr Edgeworth?” asked Detective Gumshoe, as Edgeworth stood stock still.
“I-I’m fine detective. I just need to rest.” he told him, before sitting down. The bile started to raise to the top of his throat.

Spoiler: Chapter 3

Soon enough, Wanda and the Amazing Lover Boy was released to praise from numerous critics. At the end of the first week, the book had sold two thousand copies, and Oldbag had sufficiently gloated to everyone she knew that her book had now been added to the bestseller list. Three weeks later, it was a global success and there was a film negotiation in progress.
We rejoin our wrinkled writer at her first book signing. Lines and lines of teenage girls filled the street holding up posters of Giles. Boys littered the line, staring at pictures of Wanda in a beautiful dress. And at the start of the line, sleep deprived die hard fanatics sat outside by their tents. And inside the book store, Oldbag gave a beaming smile as the doors opened to a rush of feet.

“There! I signed the book for you, now scram!” Oldbag cried, as a certain chef skipped out of the store clutching the book in his hands.
“Merci! Merci!” he said, as the next customers came forward.
“Ms Oldbag!” cried the girl in surprise. Oldbag recognized them as the little girls that followed Phoenix Wright around, Edgey-poo’s friend. Honestly, she couldn’t understand how such a gentle, handsome and courteous man like Edgeworth could even associate with that spiky haired yahoo! I mean, Larry Buttz she could tolerate due to his loose lips when they worked together in the security room (It was thanks to him Oldbag had Edgey-poo’s phone number, until he changed it for some bizarre reason) but that lawyer was always trying to best-
“Excuse, Ms Scary Security Lady?” the smaller girl asked. Oldbag snapped back to reality.
“I knew that someone called Wendy Oldbag had written this book, but I didn’t think it would be you…” Topknot began, before Pretzel Hair handed her their books.
“I love the books! They’re so romantic, and they gave me so many good ideas…” the other began, before Topknot smiled.
“You’re a great writer Ms Oldbag!” she told Wendy, as she signed the books. Shoving them back into their hands, she shooed them away. Suddenly, there were some angry cries as Oldbag heard some familiar screams. Just then, Victor Kudo and Kane Bullard came barging past.
“Look here Oldbag! We read your story, and you make us look like jerks!” Kudo cried, clutching his seed box angrily.
“Ms Oldbag, this dribble is just the writings of some demented old woman, and plus I don’t like being made a jerk.” Kane stated flatly. Suddenly, there was an indignant cry.
“You don’t like Ms. Oldbag’s stories?” screamed a die hard fan.
“Who doesn’t like Wanda?”
“I bet they hate Giles as well!”
“Oldbag’s a genius!”
“I’M GOING TO BE MARRIED TO GILES!”
“Oh no you won’t, I will!”
Then, the crowd exploded into argument as Victor and Kane were dragged away by screaming fans, everyone kicking and squealing.

Further down the line, Miles Edgeworth gave a angry huff as he went to confront Oldbag.
“Hey, that’s a great cosplay of Giles!” screamed a girl.
“He looks just like Giles!” cried another.
“That’s because I am Giles!” he muttered in frustration. One collective scream later, and Miles found himself smothered by girls lifting up his shirt. “If you don’t stop, I’ll sue you for sexual harassment!” he screamed, before he was swallowed.

Spoiler: Chapter 4

Profilic Performer

Spoiler: Chapter 1

“Alright gang! Say hello to our newest member, Wendy Oldbag!” Moe announced, and there was a polite applause as Wendy took a bow.
“Look here, whippersnappers!” she said, finger pointing to the small crowd of performers, “I’m Quick Fire Wendy, the fastest gun slinger in the west and I demand respect!” The performers were silent for a moment, looking at the strangely dressed old woman dressed in some tacky Wild West garb.
“…Where’s your gun then?” Max said snootily, and Wendy scowled. Two seconds later, there was a bang and Max’s top hat had fallen onto the floor, a burning hole through it. “My hat!” squealed Max, and Trilo burst out laughing.
“She’s amazing!” he laughed, guffawing as Max tearfully tried to reassemble his ruined top hat.

“Say, Wendy…” Moe began, before Oldbag gave him the death glare. “Say, Ms Oldbag,” he began again, “Regina’s going to show you around the circus OK?” he said, pushing forward the sparkly lion tamer who giggled.
“Hi! I’m Regina, nice to meet you Ms Oldbag!” she chirped, and Oldbag looked confused as she started pulling her around the circus.
“This is the big top, where we do all our performances, and there’s the lodging house where you’ll stay, and there’s the toilet, and there’s the grave…” she told Oldbag, pointing out the landmarks quickly.
“A grave?” she asked, slightly disgusted by the young girl’s skimpy outfit.
“Oh yeah! Daddy said that’s where Leon has to sleep so he can become a star!” she trilled.
“… What.” Oldbag said deadpan, and Regina gave another giggle.
“Leon had to go and turn into a star, silly! That’s what happens to everyone!” she explained. Oldbag still had a very serious face.
“Have you even looked in the grave?” she asked. Regina shook her head. “Well, that’s just stupid! Believe me, I know a lot about being around death and no one I know has turned into a star but if they did then surely a lot of new stars would’ve been discovered and if my Edgey-poo died he would become a new Sun to cast down glorious daylight all day long and maybe he could burn-“ she ranted and Regina looked confused.
“B-But Leon did turn into a star Ms Oldbag!” she insisted. Oldbag pondered for a second.
“Do you have a shovel round here?”

“W-Why did you lie Daddy?” Regina sobbed, holding the maggot infested corpse of Leon to her body. Her face was covered in blood, pus and her own tears as she spookily rocked the decomposing corpse in a child like manner. “L-Leon…” she wept as Oldbag looked on slightly disturbed. “M-Ms Oldbag, d-did my Daddy not t-turn into a star?” she whispered.
“We can check if you want.” Oldbag told her, checking her nails as Regina began sobbing again.

Please reply, and tell me what you think!

Credits to Nadindi for both the avvie and sig!

Two week break!

Last edited by Capybara on Sat Jul 18, 2009 11:04 am, edited 12 times in total.

Re: The Story of Wendy Oldbag ~ Chapter 1

Sat May 30, 2009 9:34 pm

Lida_Rose

You’re so small in such a big world...

Gender: Female

Location: In front of the computer, where else?

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Sat Apr 26, 2008 2:25 am

Posts: 1720

Hee, hee. I've written fanfictions involving Oldbag before, usually she comically rants. XD

Anyway, I love it.

Please continue.

Avatar drawn by MC_Kitten, edited by Slezak

Re: The Story of Wendy Oldbag ~ Chapter 1

Sat May 30, 2009 9:43 pm

Capybara

Chief Oldbagger

Gender: None specified

Location: There.

Rank: Prosecutor

Joined: Tue May 26, 2009 7:52 pm

Posts: 662

Lida_Rose wrote:

Hee, hee. I've written fanfictions involving Oldbag before, usually she comically rants. XD

Anyway, I love it.

Please continue.

Trust me, I will continue. I've already written the second chapter of this.
I'm an Oldbag addict. D:

Credits to Nadindi for both the avvie and sig!

Two week break!

Re: The Story of Wendy Oldbag ~ Chapter 1

Sat May 30, 2009 9:45 pm

Lida_Rose

You’re so small in such a big world...

Gender: Female

Location: In front of the computer, where else?

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Sat Apr 26, 2008 2:25 am

Posts: 1720

And what is wrong with Oldbag addicts? O.O

Anyway, glad you'll continue. :D

Avatar drawn by MC_Kitten, edited by Slezak

Re: The Story of Wendy Oldbag ~ Chapter 1

Sat May 30, 2009 9:48 pm

Capybara

Chief Oldbagger

Gender: None specified

Location: There.

Rank: Prosecutor

Joined: Tue May 26, 2009 7:52 pm

Posts: 662

Lida_Rose wrote:

And what is wrong with Oldbag addicts? O.O

Pretty soon I'll be firing ray guns at people and ~~stalking~~ loving Edgey. And that's a risk I don't want to take.

Credits to Nadindi for both the avvie and sig!

Two week break!

Last edited by Capybara on Sun May 31, 2009 11:11 am, edited 1 time in total.

Re: The Story of Wendy Oldbag ~ Chapter 1

Sat May 30, 2009 9:54 pm

Lida_Rose

You’re so small in such a big world...

Gender: Female

Location: In front of the computer, where else?

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Sat Apr 26, 2008 2:25 am

Posts: 1720

Hee, hee...There are plenty of people who ~~stalk~~ love Edgey without being obsessed with Oldbag.

And I have a ray gun in my closet, just in case

Avatar drawn by MC_Kitten, edited by Slezak

Re: The Story of Wendy Oldbag ~ Chapter 1

Sat May 30, 2009 10:04 pm

justis76

[Words]

Gender: Male

Location: Right beside you... You looked, didn't you?

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Wed Jul 09, 2008 7:17 pm

Posts: 3940

You sir,a re a genius. Can't wait to read more.

"...He died. Mysteriously." XDDDDDD

Re: The Story of Wendy Oldbag ~ Chapter 1

Sun May 31, 2009 9:30 am

Capybara

Chief Oldbagger

Gender: None specified

Location: There.

Rank: Prosecutor

Joined: Tue May 26, 2009 7:52 pm

Posts: 662

justis76 wrote:

You sir,a re a genius. Can't wait to read more.

"...He died. Mysteriously." XDDDDDD

Aw, thanks. I'm already writing my next chapter.

Credits to Nadindi for both the avvie and sig!

Two week break!

Re: The Story of Wendy Oldbag ~ Chapter 1

Sun May 31, 2009 10:39 am

KSAT~

Mew~ :3

Gender: Female

Location: I'll give you a clue: Somewhere in the universe, on a planet starting with E

Rank: Medium-in-training

Joined: Mon Apr 06, 2009 9:57 am

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Lol! Wendy Oldbag is.....terrible, to put it nicely.
:pearl:

New sig coming soon!~
Happily married to Blade Satoshi X and mum to Neon Lemmy Koopa and PandaPrinzessin~ Avvie by me~ :3

Re: The Story of Wendy Oldbag ~ Chapter 1

Sun May 31, 2009 10:51 am

kitty_sneeze

Gender: Female

Rank: Decisive Witness

Joined: Tue Aug 19, 2008 3:28 pm

Posts: 150

hahaha this is hilarious! Please post the next chapter, i cannot wait to read it! :oldbag:

xxx

Re: The Story of Wendy Oldbag ~ Chapter 1

Sun May 31, 2009 11:00 am

Vitor-Leal

Show me your moves, Trite!

Gender: Male

Location: Brazil

Rank: Medium-in-training

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Posts: 308

...

This is a sig. Don't you believe me?

Re: The Story of Wendy Oldbag ~ Chapter 1

Sun May 31, 2009 11:03 am

Capybara

Chief Oldbagger

Gender: None specified

Location: There.

Rank: Prosecutor

Joined: Tue May 26, 2009 7:52 pm

Posts: 662

Vitor-Leal wrote:

:udgy: ...

=3?

Anyhow, new chapter is a go-go!

Spoiler: Chapter 2

“Kah! What are you writing down?” Victor Kudo asked. Oldbag pulled the notepad away.
“It’s none of your business, big nose!” she told him, and turned away. Kudo frowned and tried to look at the notebook, as Wendy hunched over it more to block it from view. Victor scowled at her.
“Let me see it, you old goat!” he cried, reaching over her shoulder for the book.
“It’s private!” she told him, smacking the approaching hand. Victor fumed.
“I want to see it!” he screamed, and grabbed the notebook. Wendy tried to get it back from the old man’s hands, but eventually it slipped from her fingers and Kudo fell onto the floor.
“Give it back!” she screamed, as Kudo began to read.
“Oh Wanda, my love for you is so deep!” Giles cried, his eyes swelling with tears. His sexy abs and brilliant voice echoed through out the valley. Wanda heard the cry, and watched as Giles gallantly rode down the hill on his brilliant white horse, neighing gently.
Kudo burst into a laughing fit, as Oldbag seized back the story.
“What’s so funny?” she yelled. Kudo couldn’t breathe as he rolled around in the ground, Oldbag scowling at him. Finally he regained his composure.
“That was the worst thing I’ve ever read. Where’s the antagonist?” he asked.
“The what-gonist?” Oldbag cried. Kudo gave another laugh.
“The bad guy! There’s no conflict, just your precious Giles riding on a white horse towards you!” he laughed again. Wendy scowled.
“Fine then! There’s going to be a bad guy in my story, and it will get published and become a national success!” she yelled, as Victor walked away wiping tears of laughter from his eyes. Oldbag crossed out the old paragraph, and began again.
Vermin Kodu was a fowl old man, who was determined to keep the two lovers apart. Along with the evil Shane Bluebard, they knew their mission was to make sure that no matter how pure their love was, they would spoil it!

Three months later, Wendy got the letter back from the publishers.
Dear Ms Oldbag,
That was one of the most romantic books I have ever read! All the characters were perfect, the writing was brilliant, and the setting… We want to publish “Wanda and the Amazing Lover Boy” as soon as possible!
“Hah! Now I’ll show the word that Wendy Oldbag is a superstar writer!” she smiled, laughing evilly.

Somewhere across town, Miles Edgeworth dropped a glass.
“Are you alright Mr Edgeworth?” asked Detective Gumshoe, as Edgeworth stood stock still.
“I-I’m fine detective. I just need to rest.” he told him, before sitting down. The bile started to raise to the top of his throat.

Credits to Nadindi for both the avvie and sig!

Two week break!

Re: The Story of Wendy Oldbag ~ Chapter 1

Sun May 31, 2009 11:27 am

kitty_sneeze

Gender: Female

Rank: Decisive Witness

Joined: Tue Aug 19, 2008 3:28 pm

Posts: 150

LOL more hilariousness! This is seriously brilliant! Who'd have thought Wendy Oldbag could be a successful novelist!? Hahaha! And I cannot believe they actually published her book! Please, keep writing! :godot:

xxx

Re: The Story of Wendy Oldbag ~ Chapter 1

Sun May 31, 2009 11:34 am

Capybara

Chief Oldbagger

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Location: There.

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Posts: 662

kitty_sneeze wrote:

LOL more hilariousness! This is seriously brilliant! Who'd have thought Wendy Oldbag could be a successful novelist!? Hahaha! And I cannot believe they actually published her book! Please, keep writing! :godot:

xxx

Don't worry, I'll post more extracts from Wanda and the Amazing Lover Boy soon enough. Knowing me, I'll probably turn this into a series.

Credits to Nadindi for both the avvie and sig!

Two week break!

Re: The Story of Wendy Oldbag ~ Chapter 2

Sun May 31, 2009 11:40 am

kitty_sneeze

Gender: Female

Rank: Decisive Witness

Joined: Tue Aug 19, 2008 3:28 pm

Posts: 150

Yay! A series would be awesome! And I can't wait for some more hilarious extracts!
xxx

Re: The Story of Wendy Oldbag ~ Chapter 2

Sun May 31, 2009 11:43 am

May Grey

Edgeworth Loves Mirrors <3

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Location: UK

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Joined: Sun Mar 29, 2009 9:21 pm

Posts: 36

Hehehe i just read the second chapter, this is a really funny story! I've nevr actually read a fic about Oldbag before... i just didn't realise it would be so hilarious!!! can't wait for more! :phoenix:

Re: The Story of Wendy Oldbag ~ Chapter 2

Sun May 31, 2009 11:46 am

Missile. x

Where's Pikachu? ...I mean Wally!

Gender: Female

Location: Cannock of course...like you know where that is?

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Quote:

“Oh Wanda, my love for you is so deep!” Giles cried, his eyes swelling with tears. His sexy abs and brilliant voice echoed through out the valley. Wanda heard the cry, and watched as Giles gallantly rode down the hill on his brilliant white horse, neighing gently.

I lol's so hard at this, particularly the bold. Yes, you must keep writing this! It's hilarous and I would deffinately read it...especially if it has more amusing extracts from her book.

:oldbag:

Please click my signiture to read Mia Fey - The Story
A second chance - Gumshoe centric oneshot
Finding Mr.Wright - Phoenix/Maya
. x

Re: The Story of Wendy Oldbag ~ Chapter 2

Sun May 31, 2009 12:36 pm

Capybara

Chief Oldbagger

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Missile. x wrote:

Quote:

“Oh Wanda, my love for you is so deep!” Giles cried, his eyes swelling with tears. His sexy abs and brilliant voice echoed through out the valley. Wanda heard the cry, and watched as Giles gallantly rode down the hill on his brilliant white horse, neighing gently.

I lol's so hard at this, particularly the bold. Yes, you must keep writing this! It's hilarous and I would deffinately read it...especially if it has more amusing extracts from her book.

:oldbag:

Don't worry, there will be more of Giles' sexy abs and brilliant voice later on in the story.

Credits to Nadindi for both the avvie and sig!

Two week break!

Re: The Story of Wendy Oldbag ~ Chapter 2

Sun May 31, 2009 4:28 pm

Mina-Chan

~~

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Posts: 883

Sexy abs is right.

This story is hilarious, as expected, and I can't wait to read more!

♥Twatanorm♥
Signature by blinq

Re: The Story of Wendy Oldbag ~ Chapter 2

Sun May 31, 2009 6:17 pm

L~A

Gender: None specified

Rank: Ace Attorney

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Posts: 1109

Well, that's the very first time I've read a fanfic with Oldbag as the main character.
I really enjoyed the first two chapter, and hope you will publish more real soon.
This 'book' she's writting, that's a very good idea, indeed ! As well as Kudo playing chess with Oldbag XD
The sure form an interesting duo both of them, don't they ? :p

And it's nice to see there are some dear Oldbag fans, especially when they write fanfic about one of the most hilarious AA characters :p

Re: The Story of Wendy Oldbag ~ Chapter 2

Sun May 31, 2009 8:42 pm

Capybara

Chief Oldbagger

Gender: None specified

Location: There.

Rank: Prosecutor

Joined: Tue May 26, 2009 7:52 pm

Posts: 662

Oh I feel so honoured. :bellboy:

I just can't stop writing this part of Oldbag's trashy novel... It's just addictive to write something really badly.

Credits to Nadindi for both the avvie and sig!

Two week break!

Re: The Story of Wendy Oldbag ~ Chapter 2

Sun May 31, 2009 9:50 pm

An89ty

Gender: Male

Location: Scotland

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Thu Feb 26, 2009 7:49 pm

Posts: 1308

Hilariously stupid.... and yes, I DO want more.

Please keep writting. Absolutley love this fic. Poor poor little Edgeworth. He'll never get away from Oldbag's sexual desires :beef:

Re: The Story of Wendy Oldbag ~ Chapter 2

Mon Jun 01, 2009 12:11 am

Lida_Rose

You’re so small in such a big world...

Gender: Female

Location: In front of the computer, where else?

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Sat Apr 26, 2008 2:25 am

Posts: 1720

Lions and Tigers and Oldbag! Oh my! *dies*

Poor Edgy. I'd love it if you would keep writing. This is awesome. XD

Avatar drawn by MC_Kitten, edited by Slezak

Re: The Story of Wendy Oldbag ~ Chapter 2

Mon Jun 01, 2009 3:05 pm

Capybara

Chief Oldbagger

Gender: None specified

Location: There.

Rank: Prosecutor

Joined: Tue May 26, 2009 7:52 pm

Posts: 662

Lida_Rose wrote:

Lions and Tigers and Oldbag! Oh my! *dies*

Poor Edgy. I'd love it if you would keep writing. This is awesome. XD

I've already got twenty more plots in mind. But first I must finish this story.

Credits to Nadindi for both the avvie and sig!

Two week break!

Re: The Story of Wendy Oldbag ~ Chapter 2

Mon Jun 01, 2009 11:05 pm

justis76

[Words]

Gender: Male

Location: Right beside you... You looked, didn't you?

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Wed Jul 09, 2008 7:17 pm

Posts: 3940

"“Hah! Now I’ll show the word that Wendy Oldbag is a superstar writer!” she smiled, laughing evilly.

Somewhere across town, Miles Edgeworth dropped a glass.

Best lines of chapter 2. Clearly this is an amazing fanfic, and it does Oldbag justice. Bu more importantly, it's hilarious! To you, I give a golf clap.

Re: The Story of Wendy Oldbag ~ Chapter 2

Wed Jun 03, 2009 6:16 pm

Capybara

Chief Oldbagger

Gender: None specified

Location: There.

Rank: Prosecutor

Joined: Tue May 26, 2009 7:52 pm

Posts: 662

Guess what Chapter it is?
Chapter 3!

Spoiler: Chapter 3

Soon enough, Wanda and the Amazing Lover Boy was released to praise from numerous critics. At the end of the first week, the book had sold two thousand copies, and Oldbag had sufficiently gloated to everyone she knew that her book had now been added to the bestseller list. Three weeks later, it was a global success and there was a film negotiation in progress.
We rejoin our wrinkled writer at her first book signing. Lines and lines of teenage girls filled the street holding up posters of Giles. Boys littered the line, staring at pictures of Wanda in a beautiful dress. And at the start of the line, sleep deprived die hard fanatics sat outside by their tents. And inside the book store, Oldbag gave a beaming smile as the doors opened to a rush of feet.

“There! I signed the book for you, now scram!” Oldbag cried, as a certain chef skipped out of the store clutching the book in his hands.
“Merci! Merci!” he said, as the next customers came forward.
“Ms Oldbag!” cried the girl in surprise. Oldbag recognized them as the little girls that followed Phoenix Wright around, Edgey-poo’s friend. Honestly, she couldn’t understand how such a gentle, handsome and courteous man like Edgeworth could even associate with that spiky haired yahoo! I mean, Larry Buttz she could tolerate due to his loose lips when they worked together in the security room (It was thanks to him Oldbag had Edgey-poo’s phone number, until he changed it for some bizarre reason) but that lawyer was always trying to best-
“Excuse, Ms Scary Security Lady?” the smaller girl asked. Oldbag snapped back to reality.
“I knew that someone called Wendy Oldbag had written this book, but I didn’t think it would be you…” Topknot began, before Pretzel Hair handed her their books.
“I love the books! They’re so romantic, and they gave me so many good ideas…” the other began, before Topknot smiled.
“You’re a great writer Ms Oldbag!” she told Wendy, as she signed the books. Shoving them back into their hands, she shooed them away. Suddenly, there were some angry cries as Oldbag heard some familiar screams. Just then, Victor Kudo and Kane Bullard came barging past.
“Look here Oldbag! We read your story, and you make us look like jerks!” Kudo cried, clutching his seed box angrily.
“Ms Oldbag, this dribble is just the writings of some demented old woman, and plus I don’t like being made a jerk.” Kane stated flatly. Suddenly, there was an indignant cry.
“You don’t like Ms. Oldbag’s stories?” screamed a die hard fan.
“Who doesn’t like Wanda?”
“I bet they hate Giles as well!”
“Oldbag’s a genius!”
“I’M GOING TO BE MARRIED TO GILES!”
“Oh no you won’t, I will!”
Then, the crowd exploded into argument as Victor and Kane were dragged away by screaming fans, everyone kicking and squealing.

Further down the line, Miles Edgeworth gave a angry huff as he went to confront Oldbag.
“Hey, that’s a great cosplay of Giles!” screamed a girl.
“He looks just like Giles!” cried another.
“That’s because I am Giles!” he muttered in frustration. One collective scream later, and Miles found himself smothered by girls lifting up his shirt. “If you don’t stop, I’ll sue you for sexual harassment!” he screamed, before he was swallowed.

Credits to Nadindi for both the avvie and sig!

Two week break!

Re: The Story of Wendy Oldbag ~ Chapter 3

Wed Jun 03, 2009 11:04 pm

justis76

[Words]

Gender: Male

Location: Right beside you... You looked, didn't you?

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Wed Jul 09, 2008 7:17 pm

Posts: 3940

YES.

Best lines of the chapter:
"Until he changed it for some reason" &
"If you don't stop, I'll sue for sexual harassment!"

Re: The Story of Wendy Oldbag ~ Chapter 3

Thu Jun 04, 2009 4:04 am

Lida_Rose

You’re so small in such a big world...

Gender: Female

Location: In front of the computer, where else?

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Sat Apr 26, 2008 2:25 am

Posts: 1720

This is EPIC! XD

11/10 kitties for you.
:shoe:

Avatar drawn by MC_Kitten, edited by Slezak

Re: The Story of Wendy Oldbag ~ Chapter 3

Thu Jun 04, 2009 11:16 am

Mina-Chan

~~

Gender: Female

Location: At my computer

Rank: Prosecutor

Joined: Tue Sep 02, 2008 9:03 am

Posts: 883

OMG. Marry me. Edgy-glompy tiemz! Best line ever.
Perfect for the best story ever.

♥Twatanorm♥
Signature by blinq

Re: The Story of Wendy Oldbag ~ Chapter 3

Thu Jun 04, 2009 2:59 pm

Capybara

Chief Oldbagger

Gender: None specified

Location: There.

Rank: Prosecutor

Joined: Tue May 26, 2009 7:52 pm

Posts: 662

Time for professional authory time where I answer your comments.

justis76 - Thanks. It seems the best jokes are the Edgey ones.
Lida_Rose - Only 11? :igarashi:

Amy - I would, but I'm just not ready for that sort of committment! And OMG, thanks.

Credits to Nadindi for both the avvie and sig!

Two week break!

Re: The Story of Wendy Oldbag ~ Chapter 3

Thu Jun 04, 2009 3:36 pm

Shiun Enshidia

Gender: Male

Location: Australia

Rank: Desk Jockey

Joined: Sun Nov 04, 2007 5:33 am

Posts: 99

Wanda and Giles...I loled very hard at that.
It's quite a good story, clever to include Bullard, who got about one shot of himself dead and that was all. I also like the Kudo/Oldbag connection.
I wonder how old she really is?
Keep writing! It's great stuff.

Re: The Story of Wendy Oldbag ~ Chapter 3

Thu Jun 04, 2009 3:48 pm

Capybara

Chief Oldbagger

Gender: None specified

Location: There.

Rank: Prosecutor

Joined: Tue May 26, 2009 7:52 pm

Posts: 662

Kane needed more love.
And Oldbag is around Victor's age in my mind.

Credits to Nadindi for both the avvie and sig!

Two week break!

Re: The Story of Wendy Oldbag ~ Chapter 3

Sat Jun 06, 2009 3:58 pm

theufw

P/E shipper!

Gender: None specified

Location: Singapore

Rank: Desk Jockey

Joined: Fri Mar 20, 2009 5:05 am

Posts: 147

It is a really funny story. XD I like how the characters knew who they were in the novel. XD Just a note - How does Wendy draw Wanda? Giles have some similarity to Miles due to the cosplay thing, then what about Wanda? She drew her younger self?

My fanart thread! XD

Re: The Story of Wendy Oldbag ~ Chapter 3

Sat Jun 06, 2009 6:14 pm

JasmineJustice

It's all Wright to be wrong sometimes!

Gender: Female

Location: Arguing with someone, naturally!

Rank: Prosecutor

Joined: Fri May 15, 2009 7:51 pm

Posts: 820

This is brilliantly funny. I want to read more! (You get a rating of 50 Hershey's Dark Chocolate Bars/15.)

Amazing sig and avatar credits go to TheBaronAndEma! Perfect as always!

Re: The Story of Wendy Oldbag ~ Chapter 3

Sun Jun 07, 2009 2:34 pm

Capybara

Chief Oldbagger

Gender: None specified

Location: There.

Rank: Prosecutor

Joined: Tue May 26, 2009 7:52 pm

Posts: 662

theufw wrote:

How does Wendy draw Wanda? Giles have some similarity to Miles due to the cosplay thing, then what about Wanda? She drew her younger self?

Imagine Britney Spears.
But pretty.

That's what Wanda looks like.

Credits to Nadindi for both the avvie and sig!

Two week break!

Re: The Story of Wendy Oldbag ~ Chapter 3

Thu Jun 11, 2009 7:58 pm

Capybara

Chief Oldbagger

Gender: None specified

Location: There.

Rank: Prosecutor

Joined: Tue May 26, 2009 7:52 pm

Posts: 662

OH MAI! It looks like it's a new chapter!

Spoiler: Chapter 4

So, that's the end of Wendy Oldbag: Amazing Author.
What's next?
Well, here's a choice for y'all.
Wendy Oldbag: Cranky Chef (Involves Jean, Viola, poison, Phoenix and Oldbag in a skimpy dress)
Wendy Oldbag: Prolific Performer (Involves Ben and Trilo, Moe, Regina, Max and a Oldbag telling jokes)

Credits to Nadindi for both the avvie and sig!

Two week break!

Re: The Story of Wendy Oldbag ~ Chapter 4

Thu Jun 11, 2009 8:20 pm

justis76

[Words]

Gender: Male

Location: Right beside you... You looked, didn't you?

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Wed Jul 09, 2008 7:17 pm

Posts: 3940

Aw... Mr. Kudo really is a human being!

And for the terrible mental image you gave me of oldbag, I'm gonna have to say cranky chf. Oldag in a tres bien outfit... GAH!!

Re: The Story of Wendy Oldbag ~ Chapter 4

Thu Jun 11, 2009 8:33 pm

Capybara

Chief Oldbagger

Gender: None specified

Location: There.

Rank: Prosecutor

Joined: Tue May 26, 2009 7:52 pm

Posts: 662

justis76 wrote:

Aw... Mr. Kudo really is a human being!

And for the terrible mental image you gave me of oldbag, I'm gonna have to say cranky chf. Oldag in a tres bien outfit... GAH!!

Kudo's a softie at heart. <3

Ah yes. I knew that would be a subject of brain death.

Credits to Nadindi for both the avvie and sig!

Two week break!

Re: The Story of Wendy Oldbag ~ Chapter 4

Thu Jun 11, 2009 8:50 pm

JasmineJustice

It's all Wright to be wrong sometimes!

Gender: Female

Location: Arguing with someone, naturally!

Rank: Prosecutor

Joined: Fri May 15, 2009 7:51 pm

Posts: 820

Oldbag in a skimpy dress?! *slides steel doors over eyes to prevent image from entering brain* My vote goes to Prolific Performer.

Amazing sig and avatar credits go to TheBaronAndEma! Perfect as always!

Re: The Story of Wendy Oldbag ~ Chapter 4

Thu Jun 11, 2009 9:25 pm

Capybara

Chief Oldbagger

Gender: None specified

Location: There.

Rank: Prosecutor

Joined: Tue May 26, 2009 7:52 pm

Posts: 662

JasmineJustice wrote:

Oldbag in a skimpy dress?! *slides steel doors over eyes to prevent image from entering brain* My vote goes to Prolific Performer.

Fine.

...

Kudo in a thong.

Credits to Nadindi for both the avvie and sig!

Two week break!