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Turnabout on AquittalTopic%20Title
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let's just tell them that we met in jail

Gender: Female

Location: England

Rank: Prosecutor

Joined: Sat May 16, 2009 4:22 pm

Posts: 796

Ah, my first PW Fanfiction. i'm only 13, so please excuse me if my writing style isn't as good as it could be. :keiko:

Title: Turnabout on Aquittal
Author: Masque
Rating: um. Teen?
Genre: Murder Mystery ...
Status: Ongoing
Pairing: Not sure yet ;)
Summary: Basically Edgeworth has to prosecute against someone who has escaped from prison. The trial has to go ahead as he's been delayed his right to a fair trail for 5 years, wether he's there or not. When Miles starts to receive death threats, however, the situation takes a turn for the worst ...

Spoiler: Chapter 1: The Mysterious Package.
Miles Edgeworth looked at his bank balance and smiled. He'd been prosecuting more cases than usual recently, and this had led to a rise in his salary. He didn’t like how he got it – this meant a bigger amount of crimes were being committed – but he was putting the criminals away, so it was all good. He got up from his desk, stretched, put on his kettle for a cup of tea, and looked out the window at the rain that was pouring down the night sky. I wonder if Wright is defending in as many cases as I’m prosecuting for? He thought. He hadn’t heard of his friend in a while, apart from a few small articles about his acquittals and some adverts for the Wright & Co Law Offices. He saw a figure down in the street going into the Prosecutors Office entrance. They didn’t look like someone he knew ... a new recruit maybe? But what kind of person would come in at -he checked his watch- 10:35? He wondered. He didn’t have much time to ponder this, however, since the kettle chose that moment to boil. He went over to it, put the water (with a teabag) in a cup, and started to clean up his desk. Recent case files were strewn across it – he caught a few names as he put them in piles but fully read on he hadn’t seen before –

Defendants Name: Lane, Ville
Age: 29
Accused of: Murder
Victim: Lane, Memo-Rye
Details: Shot once in the forehead at roughly 6pm – 8pm on 03/04. Gun found near victims hand. No fingerprints.
Reason for Arrest: Only person with a motive/No alibi for the night of the murder.
Defence Attorney: ???
Prosecuting Attorney: Miles Edgeworth

The rest of the file had descriptions and photos of the crime scene, more details, and witnesses accounts. Funny. He didn’t remember signing up to prosecute in this case. He thought back over the past few days while putting in milk and stirring his tea. No ... he was drawing a complete blank here. Oh well, he thought as he sipped his tea, I’ll just have to ask Detective Gumshoe about it at the Precinct tomorrow.

The next morning, he got up at 7:00am sharp, got dressed, and went down to the Prosecutors Office. There the secretary told him he had a package waiting for him in his room. He went up to find a large box with duct tape all around it and things like “PRIVATE – DO NOT OPEN” and “THIS WAY UP”. Fearing it was another bouquet of flowers from that woman – Wendy Oldbag, he opened the box. Gingerly. But what was inside it was much more dangerous than what she would send – a note with his name on it in blood red letters ... and a human finger. After his initial shock of having a limb delivered to him in a package, and not touching it, he rang the Precinct immediately. They were down there in three minutes, with Gumshoe in the lead.
‘Sir! Are you ok?’ he asked frantically.
‘I’m fine, Detective. To be honest I’m more worried about the person who’s lost a finger.’
‘Right, Sir! We’ll get a DNA test done immediately and see if it matches any of the prints in our Database!’
‘Thank you, Detective.’ He checked his watch. 8:54. His day was NOT going well. A female detective walked up to him.
‘Mr. Edgeworth, have you touched anything in the package? Like the note, or something?’
‘No ... but I touched the package, obviously, to open it.’ He replied. 'Nothing apart from that.'
'Good.' She put on some gloves and picked up the envelope. Inside it, in more blood red letters, were the words "EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS IS YOUR FAULT. IF HE DOESN'T GET AN AQUITTAL, YOU DON'T GET MORE LIFE."
Miles's blood ran cold. He? Who was He? And what was someone doing with Death Threats and Hostages? It was then that Miles Edgeworth decided to get some answers, whatever the outcome ...


Hope you enjoy! Feedback is helpfully helpful. (And if anyone noticed, i was watching the episode of Bones - y'know, the last Howard Epps one - beforehand.) :edgy:
Image
art by blue


Last edited by Finnemore on Sun Jul 05, 2009 2:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Re: Turnabout on AquittalTopic%20Title

Gender: None specified

Rank: Suspect

Joined: Thu Jun 25, 2009 2:48 am

Posts: 48

I like this. It'd be interesting to see how Edgeworth deals with getting death threats. This is really impressive. :phoenix:

Right now, my only feedback is on your formatting. I suggest putting hard returns between lines of dialogue, as if they were full paragraphs. For example, in case that wasn't clear:

"I think it should look like this!"

"Really, Nick?" Maya asked. "Does it really matter?"

"It sure does!" Phoenix replied. "It makes it a bit easier to see who is speaking!"

"... I think your eyesight is just going."

I've actually discovered that for some people, that really does make it easier to read. Your mileage may very, of course. ;)

Really looking forward to more!
Re: Turnabout on AquittalTopic%20Title
User avatar

~~

Gender: Female

Location: At my computer

Rank: Prosecutor

Joined: Tue Sep 02, 2008 9:03 am

Posts: 883

Just so you know, being 13 years old is not a good excuse if your story isn't as good as you hoped it would be.

Otherwise, great story, and great cliiiiifhanger!
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♥Twatanorm♥
Signature by blinq
Re: Turnabout on AquittalTopic%20Title
User avatar

let's just tell them that we met in jail

Gender: Female

Location: England

Rank: Prosecutor

Joined: Sat May 16, 2009 4:22 pm

Posts: 796

JoshuaOrrizonte wrote:
I like this. It'd be interesting to see how Edgeworth deals with getting death threats. This is really impressive. :phoenix:

Right now, my only feedback is on your formatting. I suggest putting hard returns between lines of dialogue, as if they were full paragraphs. For example, in case that wasn't clear:

"I think it should look like this!"

"Really, Nick?" Maya asked. "Does it really matter?"

"It sure does!" Phoenix replied. "It makes it a bit easier to see who is speaking!"

"... I think your eyesight is just going."

I've actually discovered that for some people, that really does make it easier to read. Your mileage may very, of course. ;)

Really looking forward to more!


thank you! :edgy: i'm not sure if i like that version though ... it irritates me for some reason XD

Amy wrote:
Just so you know, being 13 years old is not a good excuse if your story isn't as good as you hoped it would be.

Otherwise, great story, and great cliiiiifhanger!


yeah, i know, but i havn't been writing for long, so ...

sankuu both! :redd:
Image
art by blue
Re: Turnabout on AquittalTopic%20Title
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Munch munch munch.

Gender: None specified

Location: The Netherlands

Rank: Suspect

Joined: Mon Jun 22, 2009 1:13 pm

Posts: 17

I like it, please write more! :edgy:
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