:)
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This was fabulous. Everyone was in-character. I can't wait to read mooore :)))
lying is bad
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So, I promised I would read this, and here's the review
Otherwise, good job with the personalities, but I think Nick is better at covering up his feelings than that...
Also, Maya could be a little more spunky, she's usually...more energized than that...forcing Nick to do things.
I'm actually still wondering what the plot is. It's quite confusing, are you trying to extract the hidden romantic feelings from the sibling relationship they appear to have, or are you just trying to make Nick's awkwardness noticeable enough to the point where he grows on her? This last one wasn't a criticism. It was a subliminal request for spoilers.
I'm trying to be honest, so I hope my suggestions don't get me flamed.
Mew~ :3
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Happily married to Blade Satoshi X and mum to Neon Lemmy Koopa and PandaPrinzessin~ Avvie by me~ :3
[Words]
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Also, Maya could be a little more spunky, she's usually...more energized than that...forcing Nick to do things.
I'm actually still wondering what the plot is.
Where does he not cover up his feelings? And I'll try to make Maya more in-character. The story is Nick and Maya going on a pretend date that may not end up so pretentious...
Anyways, I've written the next chapter but I'm not totally happy with it. I'll edit it a bit, and hopefully it'll be up by the end of the day.
....E.S.P is no aid in detecting sarcasm
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hubby is the awesome jaydrick0620!
my darling children are Miyako Chinatsu and slezac and apollajustice
sons in law , yaragorm and eliasbloodmoon
love you guys!
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This was really cute. I giggled when she called him a wimp.
[Words]
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Good chapter, looking forward to the next~
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The romance is moving a little fast, I think, but it's still pretty good, and I am looking forward to the rest.
[insert Pearls' seal of approval]
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Otherwise...nah, I can't think of any other problems. Good job!
[Words]
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lying is bad
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[Words]
Gender: Male
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Aww, I love this so far.
LOL parody sig trend. Phoenix/Maya Day is Sept 5!
[ Read my fanfics! =) | Phoenix/Maya 'Evidence' List ]
lying is bad
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The question: Does Will Powers still play the Steel Samurai? Or...huh...
The suggestion: Add a case!
[Words]
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lying is bad
Gender: Male
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[Words]
Gender: Male
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lying is bad
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Who took care of Pearls? What if she ran off on her own??? Oh NOES!!!! You have to save Pearly! You just HAVE tO!
[Words]
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lying is bad
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Maybe you should explain the timeline. I forgot about that. I still dunno when the story takes place, like after 3-5 or wut?
[Words]
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lying is bad
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Just don't add this guy, and I'll keep readin' and reviewin'
[Words]
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lying is bad
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Not really. By the way, how do you change the topic title? I've been meaning to change mine, but can't seem to find the method
「これが、モノを殺すと言うことだ…！」
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MyAnimeList | My PW/AA Stuff and Translations | My fic thread
....E.S.P is no aid in detecting sarcasm
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hubby is the awesome jaydrick0620!
my darling children are Miyako Chinatsu and slezac and apollajustice
sons in law , yaragorm and eliasbloodmoon
love you guys!
:)
Gender: Female
Location: UK
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lame alert
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i wanna read chapter 3!!!
My fanfic fanartClick the sig for my graphics :) requests taken.
Deviantart
sig nd avvi thanx 2 my boredom:)
[Words]
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I had originally planned to only have 3 chapters, but I've decided to add in 2 more chapters at least.
...like the scent of fresh lemon.
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This is so awesome justis! Love the POVs.
[Words]
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And putting it in Pearly's perspective sounds like an awesome idea! I bet it'll be cute :3
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LOL parody sig trend. Phoenix/Maya Day is Sept 5!
[ Read my fanfics! =) | Phoenix/Maya 'Evidence' List ]
「これが、モノを殺すと言うことだ…！」
Gender: Male
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MyAnimeList | My PW/AA Stuff and Translations | My fic thread
lying is bad
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That's all I have to say.
....E.S.P is no aid in detecting sarcasm
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hubby is the awesome jaydrick0620!
my darling children are Miyako Chinatsu and slezac and apollajustice
sons in law , yaragorm and eliasbloodmoon
love you guys!
:)
Gender: Female
Location: UK
Rank: Ace Attorney
Joined: Fri Mar 27, 2009 11:33 pm
Posts: 3478
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