Rating: T for some swearing and Edgeworth's sexuality being brought into question.
Genre: Humor
Status: Oneshot, complete.
Pairing: Pheonix/not named girl, but Pheonix does dance with Edgeworth. However you want to interpret that.
Enjoy!

Chrysanthemum Waltz

Miles Edgeworth stared gloomily out the window, brooding face reflecting the dark sky outside. He traced his finger delicately around the rim of his nineteenth century Charleston edition teacup.

“May I inquire, Mr. Wright…what are you doing in my house?”

Pheonix paused uncertainly.

“Um, your butler showed me in…. I mean, damn, you have a butler?!”

“So it would seem. I rephrase my query: Why are you in my house?”

“You call this a house? It’s more of a castle, if you ask me…”

“Kindly answer me before I sue you for all you have. Trespassing, you see.”

Pheonix stuttered, embarrassed.

“Um….Why, house…ok…don’t laugh… I want to learn how to waltz.”

Edgeworth stared blankly at him.

“You… waltzing? Is this that sarcasm that you employ so often?”

Pheonix scratched the back of his pointed head.

“Y’know that thing where they invite people from around… and they eat…”

“The banquet that’s coming up?”

“Yeah. There’s this girl, and….”

“Not interested.”

“What?”

“I said, your love life has nothing to do with me. I’m busy. Go away.”

Pheonix’s eyes glinted in a way only a lawyer’s could.

“What if I told you there was… an incentive?”

Edgeworth flicked an imaginary speck of dust off of his cuff.

“How much are we discussing?”

Pheonix grinned, gleeful.

“We’re talkin’ Indian ivory with mother of pearl inlay and a solid gold handle. Eighteenth century. Top quality, extremely rare.”

What shone in Edgeworth’s eyes could only be described as undeniable lust.

“And… I only have to teach you to waltz?”

“That’s it.”

“Done and done.”

He reached out greedily.

“Hold it! I’ll set the teacup here…” He placed a small box on the table. “…and put the music on.”

Edgeworth tilted his head.

“Chrysanthemum Waltz in B flat major. Klause, if my sources are correct.”

“Yeah, shut up and teach me how to tango.”

“You mean waltz.”

“Whatever. Same thing.”

“…You just threw together two utterly different cultures.”

“Well excuse me.”

“Okay then, if you’re quite done… put your arms around my waist.” He drummed his fingers on the table impatiently, itching to see the new addition to his collection.

“WHAT!? You... sick bastard!”

“Are you questioning my sexuality, Mr. Wright?”

“Why Mr. Edgeworth, I questioned your sexuality since the moment I saw that horrendous frilly thing around your neck.”

“It’s called a cravat.” He muttered sourly. “Hey, von Karma wears one too!”

“Well, he’s not exactly normal, is he?”

“Point taken. Now hold my arm like this…”

Within minutes, Pheonix was waltzing proudly around the room.

“Hey Miles, I think I got this down!” He swirled them around, dipping Edgeworth and stepping in time to the music.

“Yes, you are quite good; just watch where you’re going. That’s a little too close to my family’s old china for comfort…”

“One two three, one two three…whoops.”

There was a faint tinkling noise as the vase crashed to the ground. Edgeworth pointed a shaking finger, first at the momentarily stunned defense attorney, then at the wreckage.

“That-that was an Edgeworth family heirloom worth three million dollars!” He glared at Pheonix, a terrible fire in his eyes.

“That’s it! I’m suing you for all you got!”

Beating Wright over the head with a nearby cane, he chased him from the house as a confused and somewhat frightened butler looked on.

Out of breath but full on wrath, he returned to his luxurious chair by the window.

Well, this was all a gigantic waste of time…except, perhaps…

He pried open the lid on the box.

And stared numbly at its contents.

Nothing.

There was nothing in the box.

Throwing back his head, he let out a terrible scream of rage.

“WRIIIIIGHT!”

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((Yay! First post!))

Awesome! I loved it after reading that first bit you sent, but the rest was amazing! A bit on the short side, but I can see why you staff the OC.

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Very good. It was short, but funny and entertaining to read. The ending definitely seemed like something Phoenix would do.

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Thank you!

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