I've been friends with this guy, we'll call him L, for about six years. We met in primary school, we weren't really close, but we were still friends. In our first year in high school, we were pretty much inseperable. Our realtionship just went completly downhill in Second Year. He started insulting everything I liked. At first, I thought he was just playing around, but he kept doing it, so I asked him to stop. He just got worse and worse, then he finally insulted my role model, so I snapped, stomped on his foot and ran off crying.
Later on that year, my sister opened a forum, and in the roleplaying section, L opened a topic for an RP he'd thought of a few years back. Even though I was still angry at him for insulting my role model, I decided to help out, and made three characters for it. After I posted their profiles, L pretty much wet himself laughing and refered to them as the Mary-Sue trio. I will admit, they were quite Sue-ish, but his was a blatant self insert. I asked him how they were Sue-ish, he replied "They just are!" and never answered my questions.
After a few months, we somehow made up. I can't remember how it happened, but we were as close as we were the year before. That was until I met my role model one day, I got it autograph. I pretty much told everyone about this, and I was just really happy. Then, he dragged my mood down completly. He said he was self-harming.
My sister was pouring her heart out to him and I was giving him a lecture. He stopped talking for a while and me and my sister started arguing. Then he started laughing and said "You actually thought I was self-harming?!"
I got REALLY angry and slapped him. And he wondered why I got really angry and left.
We didn't talk for a while after that, but after a while, we started talking again. We weren't as close, but we still spoke. After we got into Third Year, we never saw each other, because I moved schools. I was talking to him on MSN, and he asked me why I wasn't going to school, I told him it was because I moved. After that, he was worse than ever. He started to insult my friends. I've actually never been more annoyed at him when he did that. I can't stand people I love being insulted like that. . After two months, he stopped insulting them, then moved onto insulting me. One day, when we were talking on MSN, he wouldn't stop insulting me, so I asked him why he was doing this to me, and the conversation went like this
Quote:
L: And once again it seems you've nothing better to do than quiz me
Me: And you have nothing better to do than berate me..that's a surprise
L: If you don't enjoy it, which I doubt you do, don't give me a desire to do so.
Me: You shouldn't be doing it anyway,
L: I'm aware.
Me: Then why do it? If you know I don't like it, then why?
L: Because it's the internet.
Me: That's not an excuse!
L: I come online to enjoy myself, not to waste time and energy engaging in pointless and tedious arguments with you over the slightest thing I say that displeases you.
Me: Then why do it?
L: Why? You think I enjoy this stupidity I find myself embroilled in almost every time I go online?
Me: If you did not do it then I'd have no reason to believe it
L: are you going to keep this going?
Me: Are you?
L: Is it not obvious?
Me: You're acting as if you won't stop...
L: You think I won't stop?
Me: Yes
L: I don't even want to start
Me: Then why cause it to start?
L: It's not intentional.
Me: How not? You should know by now what angers me
L: I say nothing with the intent of getting a reaction out of you.
Me: Oh? Then why do it?
L: If you nothing positive to say to me, I'll be off now. I've got things to get back to.
Me: I want answers!
L: You'll need to wait untill I want to give you them.
Good night, Miss Detective.
PostPosted: Thu Apr 08, 2010 4:47 pm
I've been friends with this guy, we'll call him L, for about six years. We met in primary school, we weren't really close, but we were still friends. In our first year in high school, we were pretty much inseperable. Our realtionship just went completly downhill in Second Year. He started insulting everything I liked. At first, I thought he was just playing around, but he kept doing it, so I asked him to stop. He just got worse and worse, then he finally insulted my role model, so I snapped, stomped on his foot and ran off crying.
Later on that year, my sister opened a forum, and in the roleplaying section, L opened a topic for an RP he'd thought of a few years back. Even though I was still angry at him for insulting my role model, I decided to help out, and made three characters for it. After I posted their profiles, L pretty much wet himself laughing and refered to them as the Mary-Sue trio. I will admit, they were quite Sue-ish, but his was a blatant self insert. I asked him how they were Sue-ish, he replied "They just are!" and never answered my questions.
After a few months, we somehow made up. I can't remember how it happened, but we were as close as we were the year before. That was until I met my role model one day, I got it autograph. I pretty much told everyone about this, and I was just really happy. Then, he dragged my mood down completly. He said he was self-harming.
My sister was pouring her heart out to him and I was giving him a lecture. He stopped talking for a while and me and my sister started arguing. Then he started laughing and said "You actually thought I was self-harming?!"
I got REALLY angry and slapped him. And he wondered why I got really angry and left.
We didn't talk for a while after that, but after a while, we started talking again. We weren't as close, but we still spoke. After we got into Third Year, we never saw each other, because I moved schools. I was talking to him on MSN, and he asked me why I wasn't going to school, I told him it was because I moved. After that, he was worse than ever. He started to insult my friends. I've actually never been more annoyed at him when he did that. I can't stand people I love being insulted like that. . After two months, he stopped insulting them, then moved onto insulting me. One day, when we were talking on MSN, he wouldn't stop insulting me, so I asked him why he was doing this to me, and the conversation went like this:
Spoiler: hide
L: And once again it seems you've nothing better to do than quiz me
Me: And you have nothing better to do than berate me..that's a surprise
L: If you don't enjoy it, which I doubt you do, don't give me a desire to do so.
Me: You shouldn't be doing it anyway,
L: I'm aware.
Me: Then why do it? If you know I don't like it, then why?
L: Because it's the internet.
Me: That's not an excuse!
L: I come online to enjoy myself, not to waste time and energy engaging in pointless and tedious arguments with you over the slightest thing I say that displeases you.
Me: Then why do it?
L: Why? You think I enjoy this stupidity I find myself embroilled in almost every time I go online?
Me: If you did not do it then I'd have no reason to believe it
L: are you going to keep this going?
Me: Are you?
L: Is it not obvious?
Me: You're acting as if you won't stop...
L: You think I won't stop?
Me: Yes
L: I don't even want to start
Me: Then why cause it to start?
L: It's not intentional.
Me: How not? You should know by now what angers me
L: I say nothing with the intent of getting a reaction out of you.
Me: Oh? Then why do it?
L: If you nothing positive to say to me, I'll be off now. I've got things to get back to.
Me: I want answers!
L: You'll need to wait untill I want to give you them.
Good night, Miss Detective.
After this conversation, I had adopted the nickname "Miss Detective."
I will admit, I wasn't exactly being polite, but he was acting as if he didn't know what made me get this angry and upset, but he keeps going on about how well he knows me.
About two weeks ago, he was looking for ideas for his RP, I was giving him some, but he wasn't responding to them. I asked him "Are you even listening to me?", he replied "To be honest, no. I never listen to you." I flipped out at him then logged off.
A few days later, after I had calmed down slightly, I asked him if we could finsh one of the roleplays we had because it ended suddenly. He said "When I get to that part in the game" (he's making a game for it on a RPG maker.) I told him this could take over a year because it happens near the end of the story, and I wouldn't be avaliable because I'd be going to college. He said "Are you serious? You're even younger than me!" I had to remind him that he was three DAYS younger than me and not three years. He asked me why I need to go to college next year, I told him I couldn't get all the qualifications I needed at the school I was at. He pretty much demanded that I went back to the school I was at, I told him that the reason why I left in the first place was because I hated the place. I hated the majority of the teachers because most of them hated me because I had my hair dyed bright red, I hated the majority of the students because they couldn't accept me because I was different from them. I hated the building, it was far too big, and the idiots of the school blocked the hallways, and made it almost impossible to get to class on time. Most of the teachers would shout at me for being late and refused to listen to me. They would just go "Walk faster" or "Push past them". I'm a 4ft 5 female who is built like a twig. I can't push past them, and I can't walk quicker because the other students are blocking the hallways. After I reminded L about this he just said "I don't care, just do it. It's better for everyone and you're too young to go to college."
One day im again face-to-face, and we talked about the RP, and he said "I have a plan for DGL (the name of the RP), but I want to keep it a secret". I asked him "Can you tell me? I'm actually quite interested." He replied "No! It's a secret, I won't tell you!". I said "If you weren't going to tell me then, why the hell did you bring it up?!" He didn't reply, and he tried to convince me to not kill one of my characters. His reason was "You spent so much time working on her, it would be a waste to get rid of her" OK, it sounds reasonable, but he hated her when I first posted her profile, her new one hasn't changed much, or at least it hasn't changed enough to change one's opinons on her. His reason for suddenly deciding he likes her is when he found out she was blonde. He has a very frightining fetish for blondes. He keeps hiding secrets from me, so I quit all the RPs he made for a number of reasons. I made a journal about it.
So,, he opened the RP again, and the reason why he opened it was the procastination issue. But his opening line was quite rude..."Alright, after much procrastinating and a certain someone who shall not be named at this point leaving the project, I've decided to start seriously. I will strive to make DGL even better than the last two times." Honestly L, is it really hard to type: "Alright, after much procrastinating and The Eleventh Doctor (my username on that site) leaving the project, I've decided to start seriously. I will strive to make DGL even better than the last two times." Seriously, mate, it makes you seem less rude, but I am one of the very few people who stands up to his crap. One of my other friends can't stand him either, and she stands up to him, and he bitched about her for about an hour claiming "Her only good quality is her looks!". I found that really offensive, M is a lovely girl who's personality matches her looks, she's beautiful, and I don't usually say that about girls. Ok, I rambled a bit there.....anyway, back to the topic at hand... I spoke to him on MSN after a long break, this is what happened to begin with:
Quote:
Me: Y'know the problems in DGL weren't so bad they needed a new topic.
L: Meh. I just felt like starting over again. I know it's such a cop out and all, but... I just think that I should start over,
I'm just dissatisfied with it again.
Me: It was fine, a few adjustments would've sorted it.
L: But I'm coming up with new templates.
Me: Yet again, the last ones were fine.
There was no need to change them.
Anyhoo, we started talking about pointless crap, even though I was rather relucant.
To kill time, I went offline for a while to watch Glee on CHannel 4. I missed almost all of it, so I had to watch it again on C4 +1. When I came back online, an hour and a half later, I asked him if he had finsihed the templates yet, he said no, and pretty much said he was procastinating. I told him not to procastinate. This is what happened:
Quote:
PostPosted: Fri May 28, 2010 11:11 pm
OK, I haven't blocked him, but I haven't been talking to him at all, in hope that he'd realize what
he has done. About two weeks ago, I actually met him again face-to-face, and we talked about the RP, and he said "I have a plan for DGL (the name of the RP), but I want to keep it a secret". I asked him "Can you tell me? I'm actually quite interested." He replied "No! It's a secret, I won't tell you!". I said "If you weren't going to tell me then, why the hell did you bring it up?!" He didn't reply, and he tried to convince me to not kill one of my characters. His reason was "You spent so much time working on her, it would be a waste to get rid of her" OK, it sounds reasonable, but he hated her when I first posted her profile, her new one hasn't changed much, or at least it hasn't changed enough to change one's opinons on her. His reason for suddenly deciding he likes her is when he found out she was blonde. He has a very frightining fetish for blondes. He keeps hiding secrets from me, so I quit all the RPs he made for a number of reasons. I made a journal about it.
Here be the journal.
So, last week, he opened the RP again, and the reason why he opened it was the procastination issue. But his opening line was quite rude..."Alright, after much procrastinating and a certain someone who shall not be named at this point leaving the project, I've decided to start seriously. I will strive to make DGL even better than the last two times." Honestly L, is it really hard to type: "Alright, after much procrastinating and The Eleventh Doctor (my username on that site) leaving the project, I've decided to start seriously. I will strive to make DGL even better than the last two times." Seriously, mate, it makes you seem less rude, but I am one of the very few people who stands up to his crap. One of my other friends can't stand him either, and she stands up to him, and he bitched about her for about an hour claiming "Her only good quality is her looks!". I found that really offensive, M is a lovely girl who's personality matches her looks, she's beautiful, and I don't usually say that about girls. Ok, I rambled a bit there.....anyway, back to the topic at hand... I spoke to him on MSN after a long break, this is what happened to begin with:
Spoiler: hide
Me: Y'know the problems in DGL weren't so bad they needed a new topic.
L: Meh. I just felt like starting over again. I know it's such a cop out and all, but... I just think that I should start over,
I'm just dissatisfied with it again.
Me: It was fine, a few adjustments would've sorted it.
L: But I'm coming up with new templates.
Me: Yet again, the last ones were fine.
There was no need to change them.
Anyhoo, we started talking about pointless crap, even though I was rather relucant.
To kill time, I went offline for a while to watch Glee on CHannel 4. I missed almost all of it, so I had to watch it again on C4 +1. When I came back online, an hour and a half later, I asked him if he had finsihed the templates yet, he said no, and pretty much said he was procastinating. I told him not to procastinate. This is what happened:
Spoiler: hide
L:What does it matter to you anyhow? You did quit after all
M:Did you even read my journal on DA?
L: Yes
Me: You seem to be trying to fix one of the problems, you didn't give a damn before
People are indecisive.
What do you hope to accomplish by saying this anyway?
M: ONe question, did Sheena talk to you about this procastination issue?
L: No.
She didn't care.
M: Well, judging from past experiences, she did mention it, and you fixed it to please her.
L: When did she mention it?
When? I certainly don't remember.
If you think that's why I'm doing this, you're sorely mistaken
M: I just have a very strong feeling about it.
SHe does go your house far more than I do, that gives her a time span to do so.
L: But she doesn't
Unlike you, she's pretty lax about the whole thing
M: She does go to your house far more than me, I can't remember the last time I was at your house.
It was definitely at least a year ago.
L: That's true.
If you came down, I have no doubt that all you'd do is chastise me for procrastinating.
M: I'm angry at you for a completely different reason.
L: You're never anything but angry at me
M: You're acting as if I'm angry at you for procastinating, I will admit I'm annoyed at you for that, but I'm not angry as such.
L: Well, what is that different reason?
And don't waste my time.
I could be using this time to finish up the claims topic.
So this better be worth my time.
M: Well, everytime you ever do anything that makes me angry, upset ect...you never apologize. The worst one was after I met John Barrowman....when you lied about self-harming. But of course that isn't worth you time. Obviously my apparent friendship to you isn't important, otherwise you would've apologized by now.
L: You get angry far too easily.
M: What?! You're saying that I'm too easiler angered, after you lied about a very serious problem after one of the best days of my life?
L: Yes. I am.
M: How would you feel if SHeena did something like that to you?
L: That would mildly upset me.
But nothing that would make me angyr
M: It's not what you did that's the biggest problem, it's the fact that you haven't apologized to me in 6 bloody years.
L: It wasn't 6 years ago.
It was 2 years ago
M: We met 6 years ago, and I met John last year
L: *sigh* You just can't let anything go, can you?
M: So you have no intention of ever apologizing to me?
L: I'd thought there'd be no need and that you'd be smart enough not to bear grudges.
M: There you go, insulting my intelligence again.
L: You should be able to let bygons be bygons.
M: I usually do if the person apologizes to me, tries to refrain from hurting me again, and doesn't insult my intelligence.
L: That's a shame.
I don't have anything more to say to you today.
And then he logged off...he didn't even seem remotley sorry at all...there was just some small part of me that hoped that he had changed back to same kid I knew when I was 12...but I was mistaken..I felt like a foolishly foolish fool....
Also, when we were talking about useless crap, he asked if I'd seen LittleKuriboh's video "LEather Pants". I said yes. He said that us two should do that to my sister. I was against the idea, as a whole, but then he came with this gem "And Sheena will be in her underpants in the middle of the street!"
This is what happened when I asked for my apology again
Quote:
Yatagarasu: Oh yes, I almost forgot.
2 Jun 10, 20:10
Yatagarasu: My apology for your behaviour, I expect you to give me it. Via MSN or PM.
Silver: Don't expect it any time soon.
Silver: Consider yourself lucky if I even humour you and write such a thing.
Silver: Honestly, the very idea is absurd.
Silver: Honestly, what makes you believe I'll comply with your demands?
Silver: How is it going to benefit me in the long run?
Yatagarasu: Why is it so hard for you to apologize?!
Yatagarasu: Am I really that worthless to you?
Silver: Why would you think you are worthless to me?
Silver: I never said anything about worth.
Silver: Almost every time we talk on MSN, I seem to say something that you take offense to.
<insert Sister trying to hide our arguing because it makes our 3 active member forum bad>
Yatagarasu: SHeena, making the converstation between me and Silver will not solve the problem, it's ceasefire
Yatagarasu: And I think that I'm worthless to you because you refuse to apologize to me! I don't care if you think it's trivial! If you've hurt someone, whether you think it's a big problem or not, you apologize.
Yatagarasu: It's common courtesy.
Silver: Oh come off it! You let nothing go, you've done plenty to hurt me but I don't hound you for an apology. I don't bear grudges. No good comes from them.
Silver: Just let the damn thing go. Both of us are far too stubborn to reach an agreement.
Silver: It's going to keep on going because neither side will give in.
Silver: No matter what I say though, you'll continue to hound me.
After my sister spoke to him about his attitude, he sent a fake apology e-mail.
Quote:
Look, whatever it is that's got you so pissed, I apologize profusely.... I really do not know why I've changed into such an akward person. I do value your friendship, but I'm no good with expressing at. It's not something I do intentionally. I honestly can't describe in words how I feel right now. I've just been so stressed lately.... You haven't done much, the only thing that hurt was that you'd keep on going after me and the arguing... it's too much for me. I just can't cope with that sort of thing for great deals of time. That's probably why I kept disappearing, waiting untill I thought you'd calmed down and came back trying to start small talk. There is no excuse for my rudeness towards you, thus I have nothing to say in my own defense.
I know that I don't deserve your respect, your forgiveness or even your friendship, but I hope that I can at least make this moment of extreme foolishness and downright assholery on my part disappear. I would like nothing more than for us to return to being the friends we once were. I know this won't make what I've said in the past that's hurt you so deeply disappear; but hey, Actions speak louder than words, right?
Anyways, I digress. Can you forgive me? If I say anything that bothers you, tell me immediately and I'll do whatever I can to change it.
Sincerely,
L
It seemed genuine, but I knew there was something off about it. For me, it was too perfect.
I replied to it
Quote:
Not meaning to sound weird, but you've used those reasons a lot, especially the one about being stressed. I can see how you find it hard to express friendship, but the things you've done makes me think the last thing we are are friends. I only kept going on at you because you DIDN'T apologize, you said it was a trivial matter. So to be brutally honest, you brought the stress from that on yourself. I'm a bit suspicious about when you changed your mind...it was after Sheena spoke to you about it. And you said that I've done plenty to hurt you. You were acting as if it was on the same levels, or that they were worse, as the things you've done to me.
I really don't think things to back to what they were, trust is one of the hardest things in the world to fix.
Also, not to sound picky, but I did ask you to apologize in person. It's a lot easier to say sorry over the internet, and it's hard to tell if you actually mean it, in person, it's easier to tell by tone of voice, body language, etc...
This apology seems far too perfect to me, might just be my imagination, but it seems too perfect. It seems like you've said everything that I want to hear..but yet again, it might be my imagination.
After this, he was being far too nice, almost like he was trying far too hard to get on my good side, and about a month later, he went straight back to berating me, and aftewards, tried to act like nothing had happened.
I'm giving him one more chance, and if he messes up again, he can bugger the hell off.